Is it a first offense? - Elder Scrolls Oblivion

[@Bacxaber]

THE TRIUMPHANT MUSIC, MY SIDES

[@XaliberDeathlock]

She's relieved

[@yosefyonin6824]

​@@XaliberDeathlock relived that she can relive herself with corpses and have enough money afford getting caught a hundred times

[@alyarin9000]

You know what's weird? *THE PC KNOWS THIS*

[@Ian-nl9yd]

You do start the game in prison...

[@TwinBladeGlacier]

​@Ian-nl9yd the guy in the opposite cell "you have a wife back home right? I'll go pay her a visit." When I play dunmer. My guy if only you knew...

[@alyarin9000]

@@Ian-nl9yd Oh noooo

[@minoxiothethird]

@@Ian-nl9yd beat me to it

[@calypso4533]

the freak of kvatch 😛🥴

[@keulron2290]

This better still be in Skyblivion.

[@NeonValkyrieGaming]

its actually zero if your sneaky enough

[@Dom_Maretti]

I was actually working on a mod for Oblivion in 2008 that was going to add a secret basement to Falanu Hlaalu's shop. In it were going to be a bunch of caged zombies, and a skeleton chained to a wall with a femur bone in a special location who was constantly pelvic thrusting to try and escape the bindings. I was learning a lot of scripting and animation tweaks...but I didn't have a backup and someone opened a credit card in my dad's name...so he wiped the family PC with a clean Windows install and I lost it all, plus some poetry and a cover of Sky Chase Zone from Sonic 2 (which I had added lyrics to). Ever since then I have been paranoid about data loss...

[@Torthrodhel]

Wow what a scumbag to do that to your family. Reminds me of a band I love who changed styles after the trauma of losing all their work in a house fire. Artwork no matter what medium it's in is such a fragile thing. I lost a huge book of poems I wrote once (but I was super young and the vast majority of them were honestly absolute crap, really didn't lose anything of worth... still felt like it at the time though).

[@Dom_Maretti]

@@Torthrodhel It felt bad, to be sure, but I don't blame my dad. ID theft wasn't an everyday occurrence in 2008 the way it is now. At this point, everyone in my family has had their ID stolen at some point (my bank had a major breach and someone tried to open a Kohl's card in my name a week later, but I'd already frozen my credit).

[@Torthrodhel]

@@Dom_Maretti oh I definitely wasn't blaming your dad! Don't think that. I was saying whoever did it to him is horrible. I know anyone at all can fall victim to a scam. Scammers are the absolute worst.

[@Hell_O7]

Morrowind be like: Hey, we might have slaves but at least we actually punish necrophiles.

[@alex0trinity]

yeah I will never understand the dunmer....wanting to humpy pumpy the dead when you can do it with the slaves you own...mind you I am against slavery through and through. The point is at least they are alive....You would have to have a seriously sick mind to want to fuck a dead body.....god forbid if they go after vampires....That is a dangerous proposition.

[@LPA_]

she's perfect

[@arkron7093]

i can fix her

[@mrschizo2837]

Sorry, fellas, but I don't think you're her type. None of us are.

[@Jupiter__001_]

​@@mrschizo2837 Judging by your pfp you might be

[@swankmank]

@@Jupiter__001_ 👏👏😭

[@TheDestructiveGiant]

@@mrschizo2837 yet

[@SonOfMeme]

Who the hell starts a conversation like that?

[@SneedFeedAndSeed]

I just sat down.

[@SPM0717]

She did say "By the way", implying they were in the middle of a conversation.

[@DuchessofEarlGrey]

When you don't have Google...

[@RoemerWilliamz]

A necrophile.

[@yosefyonin6824]

​@@SPM0717 if you played the game and talk to her for the first time, then this is literally the first thing she asks you after introducing herself

[@MCSorry]

Damn I need to move to Cyrodil.

[@UtubeH8tr]

Sir, turn and face the ghost fence.

[@DutchGlow-fi2ip]

Crime Requires Witnesses.

[@frydemwingz]

I always thought it would be funny if you could report her to the guard after that

[@alex0trinity]

yeah bottom line is te report system is too basic....it will only allow reported lawbreaking for theft, pick pocketing, assault, breaking a entering, tresspass and murder. Anything else slips under the radar.....The only quest I know of that goes beyond the base scope of reporting such crimes is in anvil I think...or bravil...forgive me if I get it wrong...IN one of those two cities there is a corrupted guard captain who charges every tom, dick, and harry for obscene crimes and charges them for obscene amounts and pockets them and if they don't pay, they condicscate property to pay the fine which in my opinion is beyond there scope of juristiction to do considering that Nobody can confiscate property in that magentude unless someone was tax dodging, or commited treason to there lord....anyways there is a quest there to expose a corrupted captain...also one in cyrodil city, but the dumb codger breaks out of prison to go after you in the city of cyrodil....which is a fatal mistake...I mean as soon as you agro on the mc of that game, it is open season on claiming his head without crime commited....gotta love the loop holes of murder lol.

[@maninthesnow4393]

In skyrim theres lots of nordic tombs with plenty of booty to plunder

[@yosefyonin6824]

Fresh crypts ripe for butt piracy

[@Umbra_Ursus]

Reject the draugr booty, turn to the trees that got bark.

[@frankficcle7081]

​@@Umbra_UrsusThat sprigussy, got an N'wa actin unwise.

[@alex0trinity]

I bet one of the major reasons why they entomb there nordic dead in stahlrim is not only to protect them from necromancers, but necrophiles too....To dephile the dead like that is such blantant disrespect....I swear to god there is something seriously wrong with the dunmer....like seriously.

[@cadelllwellyn6021]

I know that death will never do us part I look at Arkay and I spit in his face To bring you back I learned the Darkest Art Whatever the price is, I am prepared to pay YS

[@RedKincaid]

I had this stuck in my head too the moment I saw the thumbnail

[@craighoward1625]

You always said I stole your heart And now I stole your other organs too And Ill steal a thousand more for you

[@donilexington4600]

This is why i love oblivion 😂😂😂

[@sergeandou9853]

You made her day. I always liked her joy hearing that about 500 septims.

[@paulmann8570]

The real reason Necromancy was banned:

[@alex0trinity]

god I remember this necrophilia easter egg in skingrad alchemy store. I remember uncovering it when I first played the game. I played it on the second day after release of it. I remember because I had to buy the dlc for it on xbox 360....So much to get for that game...anyways that easter egg made me laugh...Hell I even shared it with some on my friends list too....I miss the xbox 360 days....Playing this game was so much fun.

[@daviddavidson2357]

Much better than normal. You can cut your own hole to fit.

[@june9914]

Absolutely rancid, man

[@NitirenRissho]

500?? What a steal hehh

[@theredtechnician]

Never played oblivion, is this legit?

[@st3mr0ach]

Yes you can have this conversation when you ask her about the local rumours 👍

[@roma540]

Can confirm, it is.

[@alex0trinity]

yes this easter egg is legit. go visit the apotecary in skingrad and you will find her, talk about the topic of skingrad and you will trigger this easter egg....enjoy.

[@weirdtyrant6274]

So is she dating a vampire or something?

[@yosefyonin6824]

Vampires aren't undead in the elder scrolls world. They're mutants affected by a specific diseases which can be cured

[@charliesage7004]

​​@@yosefyonin6824Completely wrong. Vampirism is caused by magical disease, but Vampires absolutely are Undead. Affected by things that affect undead, referred exclusively as undead everywhere, etc.

[@themissinfowar6629]

“Do you happen to know what the fine is, here in Cyrodiil, for Pe-dough-phillia?” 🗡ʃ͠’ʘɷʘ͠ƪ🛡 ❗️

[@alex0trinity]

yeah do yourself a favor and don't go down that road....there are some questions left unasked....for the sake of your freedom and well being and sanity....that question is far from a good joke.