Is it just a K*nk? | MTF Crossdressing Transgender LGBTQIA+

[@danishcupcake921]

Hi! Thank you for your Channel and sharing! ... there are many video's that I have enjoyed watching :- ) In relation to your video on crossdressing: First THANK YOU :- ))) I feel many look down on crossdressers, especially actually from the gay/lgbt community (!). I'm a danish person who would like to hear your opinion in relation to ''is there more to it than crossdressing" ? ... I'm quite happy and accomplished in my 'male life' and live in Denmark where I know it would be perfectly good accepted no matter what I idenfify myself with. The last about two years I've crossdressed and I enjoy it very much. I don't do it every day but maybe a few times a week. And on occation (about 7-8 times) I've met with nice men and had (carefull) sex with them. Having sex with a man if I was not crossdressed would not interest me at all; not 1%. As a man I am interested in women and not even the thought of being together w. a man 'as a man' strikes me. I just wouldnt feel right at all or what I am looking for. I do like women but are very picky in only liking very pretty and feminine women and do get tired/uninterested (in a sexual way, not in their person) after a while in the relations. Now; I am quite happy both as a man, but also when I crossdress. There is no "dysphoria" -even though I may look not convincing female (its not a thing I wonder about - I enjoy the look and use many hours looking and dressing as feminine as possible). It would feel wrong to go out in public - 'that is far from who I am', but I have a cozy time dressing up at home and having my own succesfull business that is no problem even on workdays. .... Now, here comes the 'problem': While I am very happy in 'both roles' and enjoy them, I have recently met a man, a sweet cute man, I have been with twice. My way of picking men (only on hetero dating sites, the lbtq-world isnt something I feel home at, at all) is very goodlooking men who are only looking for women, but who gets 'interested' - none I've been together with has been w. a man before and I dont really see it as ''a man being together w. a man'' - but as a man being together with a woman. Now.... This man; well... I am beginning to feel .. a crush on. Thinking about him, how a life together would be; waking up together in the morning; being held and caressed through the night. Kissing him would be just wonderful. Hmm.. That does not fit into anything because I thought I was just having a good time' and that there was nothing more to my crossdressing. Obviously I am too embarrassed to tell him, though I think he would be relaxed about it; he's very sweet and 'down to earth', though he also told me that he was very surprised the first time we were together as he did not know it was something that interested him. (And we do act very 'man and woman' when we are together, also when we lie and talk/cuddle after sex). I dont know what to make of it; I'm very happy 'both' as a man and as an occational crossdresser - but if I am falling in love with a man, as a woman/crossdresser - then what ?!? I dont even see it as a problem myself - "I am just myself" and enjoying it :- )) But your video really made me think! Sorry for the long post and I perfectly understand if you don't have time to answer! Btw. I think you look very pretty (when I look at you, which by default is looking at your as a man looks at a woman, just as I get attacted to beautiful women when walking on the street); but also a liiiiitle envious (in a good way! ) when I look at you from the perspective of a woman : - ) You are very beautiful, from both viewpoints. ps. I dont take hormones etc. Dont consider changing physical apperence - that just never struck me as 'me' to change who I am and has not been an urge or wish. But since puberty I do have some tiny breasts - easy to hide, and a nice long hair when I grow it out. I'm happy with the 'girlish look' I can bring out fairly easily and w. some normal (not exaggerated) female clothing I usually have to tell male interested profiles online that I am not a woman but just enjoy the look -and sometimes... the great sex that comes with it if I'm together w. a good man.

[@AshleyxAdamson]

Thanks for your long message actually read all of it! The classic argument that a cross dresser will make is to say they feel fine as a man. Which is the case for me as well. But the thing with that which I consider ill-conceived, is that one anticipates their happiness as a woman in respect to how they see life as a man. There is an invisible amount of happiness that I was able to unlock once I became a woman that I was not able to predict when I was a man. What I would encourage you to do is to consider exploring this with the man that you’re interested in. Keep going and eventually your heart will tell you what feels right and what you would prefer.

[@danishcupcake921]

@@AshleyxAdamson THANK YOU so much for your kind answer!! Yes, it makes a lot of sense what you write :- ) I also must say that I am not quite as interested in women (as a man) as I am as a woman in men (!). Even when I was just in puberty and 'noticing women' I was a bit disappointed that there was not 'more' (yes, I dont know how to otherwise explain it). ... I expect there may be a long journey ahead. I will take my time and see what feels right. Thank You for being a person that so gently 'opens ones eyes' :- )

[@Danalatex140]

I am transitioning and I like girls too but now I’m a lesbian and that’s very common with trans girls. I like to be held caressed maybe at the satin had enough of it but I’m trying to. But I do have a transgender friend that I am falling in love with that stayed with me during summer. So if you know what it doesn’t matter don’t worry about who you like if you still like girls and Butrans I know a lot of girls that are in to me the way I am just have to be your true self and people respect that”

[@AshokTiwari-hz8ir]

Imintrstedmuzabhutsaokhedi❤😂

[@leahgreene]

as a crossdresser of 8 years now I've been out presenting as female in various scenarios, and it's exciting, but doesn't mean I wanna transition. I dress for reasons other than sexual fun (even though it has let me experience more on that side of things) but I don't want to transition. I could not even contemplate doing an hours worth of makeup everyday to live full time. It's just an act, I'm acting at being female. I can choose when I want to do it or not want to do it. I enjoy pretending to be someone else, it makes my usual dull adult life much more interesting and it's still a secret I keep from most people in my normal everyday life. I see it as a hobby not a way of life.

[@steveworthington930]

Agree Leah, to present as a female you do not need to be full tran,s.What is not mentioned is the risk,s of HRT, load,s. a select few know I,m a CD, no big deal, have fem hair, brow,s etc, light makeup, etc. Have a freind, full tran,s, 7 operation,s later, her kidney,s are fucked, na keep it, quite happy.

[@TraderRobin]

You should go shopping at the local malls! That's what I do! It's awesome!

[@steveworthington930]

@@TraderRobin Here in the UK it,s all online Robin, mind take pot luck on women,s sizes, delivered to the door, yep lazy, but good.

[@jonathancolvin4357]

The initial reason for keeping my crossdressing secret, for me, was the knowledge that as soon as I told someone, or they found out, their first question would be, "Why?" At that stage I did not know how to begin to answer that question, so the prospect of being asked it was far too terrifying to contemplate. So, secrecy seemed like the only option.

[@AmyraCarter]

The best answer in this situation is "I don't know/can't answer that, YET."

[@AB_RetroSynth]

For a couple of decades I thought I was on the path of a trans woman but I don't feel comfortable being dressed like a woman in public. When I dress nonbinary/genderfluid I feel I'm right where I need to be. My gender dysphoria is calm and I still get to express some femininity. I look like the male version of a lesbian. Lol!

[@indiana2096]

You are not alone!

[@davidknowles9234]

Great clarification of the mindset of being a cross dressing. Coming to terms with it is a journey and like any journey you need to move on and find a destination. I thought it was a fetish, then thought I was gay and had an experience that told me I wasn’t attracted to men. Then I decided that I was either Trans or perhaps gender fluid but with more thought realized that identifying as Trans is ME. Being married with 2 sons made it challenging to express myself but as time passed I grew into it . I committed myself to being my real self and decided to live it Regardless of others opinions. I dress rather drab. Although occasionally my wife will suggest something more feminine. I basically mimic my wife’s style now and complying with her suggestion. I feel much better about myself . That being said, it’s nice to be able to talk with my wife about clothes and jewelry and have help putting together outfits. I now know what colors that she says look good on me and what earrings to wear. Thanks for your channel and honesty. I learn so much from you and your experiences. ❤️

[@donaldaxel]

You seem to have a wife who is supportive - although you say "being married w 2 sons made it challenging to express mysel but ..." I imagine that our current stereotypes are kind of madness arising from the "bear (give birth to children)/provide" division, which could be necessary in a old-time setting. But then again, other species have so many different solutions to "Sexual reproduction" (Wikipedia). My conclusion is that dressing, acting, forming one's identity, and keeping doing it, actually is a kind of reaching higher and better ability to think ("being ME"). Otherwise stereotypes and all that jazz block our thoughts from reasoning.

[@JadeSilverfox]

That's amazing your wife is so excepting to your feminine side. I wish my ex of 27 years together was the same. But she said it was wrong and I know now I was just trying to express myself and did nothing wrong. She had the problem

[@Tawni2]

First, thank you for your talks. You've hit on questions that I've had for years and added some clarity. For me, there is a very different feeling now, compared to the days I hid my dressing. When I go out now it's because I need some girl time. I don't need to stand out, just fit in. She's out for the night.

[@tm33398]

SPOT ON!! My denial was so strong that it has taken me 2 years to see this even though i have been FT for 1.5 years!! On hrt for 2 years. Announced my coning out 2 years ago!! You described my thought process PERFECTLY!!

[@lunascrossdressingstories]

Thank you for answering all of these questions and brining light to the crossdressing community.

[@blackjack90631]

That happiness comment towards the end is what did it for me a few years back. I felt SO guilty/ashamed for most of my life, but when I was able to go out and travel with friends in that feminine shell/non-sexual way and experiencing that happiness. I mean, imo it's one of the only ways to truly know

[@AshleyxAdamson]

Yes!!!!

[@marti7343]

I remember being with some friends dressed female and thinking I want a vagina. It was then that I knew I was not simply a cross dresser. I also knew when I dressed up and looked in the mirror I liked the person I saw. That did not happened in my daily life presenting as a man. When I started to think deeply about who I am, I looked at how I felt about myself through life and accepted that I always wanted to be a girl. Having started transitioning, I am clearer now about my dysphoria and that I am better for facing it. I have all the doubts that many trans people struggle with, but I feel I now am beginning to live authentically. Ashley, I relate to many parts of your journey. You have so much courage and insight that helps me in mine.

[@amberwoods4338]

Ashley I want to thank you so much for putting this video out and expressing your past and explaining how you came to be you. Finding who you truly are inside and out as a whole. My story is very similar to yours, other than I have not transitioned because of that denial you speak of. It’s cost me greatly, denying who I am and being the woman I’ve always meant to be. I’ve always had this great struggle within me not up, not knowing what it is or where it’s coming from. It’s been a very intense emotion that I feel that has tormented me for so long and now because of your experience, I’ve come to realize who I really am what I really am, a woman. I know it sounds very superficial, but it’s not. I know you understand what I’m saying. As for this intense struggle within myself I’ve also had this very large, empty void that I could never fill. I’ve tried so many different things from dating different types of women to many hobbies. Even down to extreme sports to see if that was the empty void that would be filled. Sometimes I felt better, but at the end of the day when everything calm down. When all the excitement went away.that void was still there that struggle was still happening. I’ve been crossdressing for many years and was confused (like you mentioned in this video) as who I am and who I’m looking at in the mirror when I see her (Amber, my girl name I gave myself 😊) Listening to you speak in your videos and your experience is like hearing my inner voice speaking to me and for once in my life, I’ve come to understand what’s been missing and what I’ve been struggling with. So, now it’s time to make a change, ITS TIME TO BE ME! Thank you so much. ❤ Your such a beautiful person 🙂

[@morgan-5171]

Really nice to find a real person making sense on here.. Few and far between. Thanks for being you. 🙏

[@bookworm5433]

I like what you were saying and I value your input. For me I don't try so much to figure it out anymore. That hurts, because some questions don't have answers and others don't need them. Now, I mainly view my crossdressing as a part of me, it is a source of peace and joy in my life. Now, I'm at a point in my life where I tend to absolutely let go of things that don't serve me. Crossdressing simply isn't one of those things, it makes me happy. I will say though that girl clothes have definitely infiltrated my life. I find myself sneaking them into my daily wardrobe. Like I have t-shirts that look like regular guy t-shirts that I wear, but it's somehow meaningful to me to know that it was intended for a woman.

[@BrendanTripp]

Ashley ... ❤❤❤ Most of this went past me, as the cross-dressing thing wasn't for me ... however, when you started to talk about anger, you were right on the target. As I may have previously mentioned, I spent 30 years in 24/7/365 rage ... which I certainly wasn't in /denial/ of, but I did have to smother it under some sort of veneer of typical human behavior, as if I actually /expressed/ it, It. Would. Not. Be. Good. Not at all. But, as you suggest, people could tell it was there. My rage hung around me like the smell of running a barbecue pit all day. It wafted down the block in front of me. It hung like a miasma around me in a meeting room. And nobody wanted to have much of anything to do with me. Yeah, apples to oranges, but I did want to credit you for your example of it. I know it's not likely to be anybody else's story.

[@Lostcause1974]

The secrecy also prevents exploring if crossdressing is only a kink. Many who crossdress have to do it for limited amounts of time in solitude.

[@maddiesaoirse]

Another fantastic video! Listening to your journey regarding crossdressing was as if someone was telling me my own story. But I spent 16 years in that space of denial. And, certainly, other folks could see it, especially my wife. Everybody who describes me from that period of my life describes somebody who was intense, short-tempered, sullen, angry, and checked out. Pretty much everybody could tell that I was trying to work through something. Because I've experienced unacknowledged dysphoria most of my life, it felt like this was normal. I would tell people that I just felt out of step with the world. And that was a typical punk attitude in the '80s and '90s. I mean the band Minor Threat had an album called Out of step! (I would also make a joke about being a lesbian trapped in a man's body, but no one took me seriously including myself). And before I did finally admit what was going on, every cross-dressing session was a combination of elation, confusion, and utter shame. Why was I sexually turned on by this? I'll leave the autogynophilia conversation for another time. I hated it when the clothes and make up came off. I hated it even more that I was keeping this secret from everybody. And so I hated myself. That is a dark space to occupy, especially for as long as I did. The day I finally recognized the woman within, was the day that those sexual feelings lessened significantly if not outright disappeared. I chauk those feelings up to the fact that our sexual desire and drive is probably one of the most primal and powerful forces we will ever experience as humans, and it was the only power that was able to break through the haze of denial. When I was cross-dressing I wore super sexy shit! The type of woman I was trying to emulate was an over-the-top sex pot! 😅. The type of woman I am today is very much not that. I mean, half the (women's) clothing I wear today I got from target!🤷 I cringe when I think back to what I must have looked like (ridiculous blue eyeshadow anyone?)🙄 Today my happiness meter keeps breaking because I keep pinning the needle. I'm on the way to becoming the woman I know has always been there. It just took 50 years to get here! Occasionally I wonder what it would be like to go back to my old life. Go back to living and presenting as a man, and occasionally dressing up in the feminine. I know I'd be miserable, and no amount of cross-dressing would be able to alleviate that. And actually I don't really need to imagine that. I tried that for 3.5 years after I finally came out to myself. For me transition was the only path forward. Cross-dressing was the vehicle that eventually brought me to the place I needed to be. And to indulge the vehicle metaphor even further, It was like a race bike with a twitchy and difficult to control power band, warped brakes, a terrible chassis, and really difficult to maintain. My Instagram account is private, so I have to approve followers. I get 1 to 4 requests a day. And after filtering out the weirdo dudes, It seems that a lot of the people who want to follow me describe themselves as crossdressers. And every time I see that self-description, I think to myself this person is just beginning their journey. I'm sure there's a great number of people out there who actually are crossdressers and enjoy those moments in the feminine form, and then are perfectly happy to drop back into their male form when done. All power to them. But I do suspect a lot of self-identified crossdressers are grappling with their gender identity or at the very least their gender expression. I hope this video helps them. Had I seen a video like this before my egg cracked completely, I think I could have saved myself quite a bit of suffering. Another fantastic video, and one that I think a lot of folks, especially late transition trans folks, can relate to. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 🙏❤️❤️🏳️‍⚧️

[@AshleyxAdamson]

Holy cow an essay!!! Thank you so much for sharing your story and engaging in such an open hearted way.

[@maddiesaoirse]

I'm a little shocked at how long this comment is🤦. And maybe a little embarrassed from over sharing, but perhaps it will help somebody else understand their journey. Definitely a testament to where my head space was 4 months ago. ❤️

[@SheenV]

For me there are a few things that I like about crossdressing. I like how women's clothes feel and look. I like putting outfits together and thinking about how the clothes will feel on me when I will wear them. I like shopping for the clothes either on-line or in a store. I haven't tried to be 'passible' in public, so when I do wear women's clothes in public, the clothes are much more androgynous on the outside.

[@shadown5757]

I don’t cross dress nor the thought had crossed my mind but by listening to this video it gives me an idea why people choose to incur on this practice. Thank you for talking about this.

[@jackdupjourney6030]

Excellent video, your guidance has helped me make sense of many things in my life. Thank You 😊❤

[@Jenny-kw4dv]

Thanks for this video. So many of these things resonate with me. The biggest was when I see a woman and I fantasize about being her and 99% of it does not involve sex. It is the feeling of being a woman and everything that means. Of course that includes sex but that is not THE reason. :)

[@Andrew-qv3ug]

Im 25, been questioning my gender since I was 15. I met my boyfriend 3 months ago and I told him right away about my gender identity confusion. he is just the best partner and supporter, we started experimenting sexually where he would use male language (im Italian so EVERYTHING s gendered ), I would use packers, chest tape.. It felt so good, but I wondered if it was only a kink or fetish. Untill we started going out and presenting to others as a gay couple, me presenting with my chosen name, and everything made sense. well almost, cause im still pretty confused and scared to transition and thats why I watch your videos, tho im ftm they resonate so much and they help me out a lot. So thank you for all that you do Ashley 💕

[@kryptokoning3536]

This question is my main one, my answer changes between both worlds depending on how I feel that day.. Advise? Thank you for all you do 🥰🙏 we love you!

[@rickkojetin5139]

Ashley, Lived in denial for at least 40 years. Slowly broke out of it about 10 years ago. We didn’t have internet to discover that we weren’t alone. Definitely did not discuss it with anyone which kept it hidden and in secret. Of course there were a few books, but limited. Christen Jorgensen and Dr. Rene Richards plus a few Playboy articles. No internet at the time. I’m thankful you and others have helped so many of us.

[@Britneygurl]

Hey there! Thanks for sharing this video. I just wanted to say that you did an excellent job at explaining crossdressing, the kink aspects and the difference with being trans. I spent over 20 years calling myself a crossdresser. I kept it a secret at first, keeping a small stash of clothes even while living at home with my parents. After I moved out, the very first thing I did in my new place was get dressed up. I had a tight relationship between dressing up and being sexually aroused. I was turned on by it. I knew that I was turned on by it and sought out places and people to help me confirm that. I went shopping for fetish clothing, I chatted with people online, I even went to kink and fetish events where I was able to dress as a woman. I had a fetish for specific clothing materials such as latex and vinyl, which I still do, but despite having a few male items in those materials, the vast majority was in feminine styles. I did occasionally dress in public, but it was always for a short period of time and I think only twice since I started crossdressing had I fully dressed as a woman with wig, makeup, outfit, etc. Online I initially referred to myself as a CD, but in the past year or two I had started to use the term trans. I think I did it more to attract attention to myself as opposed to feeling that way. I have a long story about my thoughts and feelings towards trans identity and trans people, but to keep it short, I was too afraid to even think about the possibility. Though I didn't think in the terms of identifying as trans, I thought about being feminine a lot, actually it was an obscene amount of time spent on it. I just couldn't shake the thoughts. I chatted online with crossdressers often. I spent a lot of time chatting, I spent time trying to make friends with them. I found that extremely difficult to do. I had a partner, I am true to my partner. So did they, but they were also wanting to do more. There was talk about sex all the time. Among the people I talked with, women were objectified. They wanted to dress slutty and be slutty or get with slutty people, but none of them wanted to be more than that. I just couldn't connect or relate to them. I loved dressing sexy and wearing fun outfits, don't get me wrong, that was, is so much fun. The biggest difference came when that fun was over. They were done with being who they are. I wasn't. There is an episode in the series Transparent where the main character attends a retreat for crossdressing men. I am only just past this episode so far but in the episode, the main character, who is a CD at the time but who is really trans and her friend who is a CD are about to leave camp and drive home. Her CD friend gets upset because she wants to drive home en-femme. Her CD friend was done her fun, it was time to go back to reality. But the main character says something along the lines of not being ready to change back, hinting that she doesn't really want to change back. I found this resonated with me quite a bit, along with what was said in your video. A CD will generally be ok with putting things away at the end of their session. I realized that I wasn't a CD when I was so sad and upset about putting my clothes away, I started to think that it was more than crossdressing. The feelings of envy towards seeing women was related to my gender dysphoria. I am coming to the realization, which is kinda mind blowing in a way, that I have been crossdressing as a man most of my life. Dressing femme, presenting femme, living as a woman is where I should have been all along.

[@Summer-kb2dm]

I hadn't put on a dress since I was 12 and that was a tragic moment in my life, because I knew at that time I should have been born a girl ( a better translation is: I knew that inwardly I was a girl). I put on a dress again for the first time over a year ago. I am nearly 64. What I felt was relief...I had finally come home. I started hrt and living as a woman right away. I am so much happier now that I am no longer pretending to be something I'm not. Being a woman feels so natural to me. Thank you for doing this. 💜 I really appreciate what you said about seeing a woman and imagining being her....ALL MY LIFE I was doing that. It was never anything like a fetish.

[@rogerbertrand8178]

I agree with the comments below I really feel relaxed when I let the girl inside me out...it's good...I went to few weekends trans and I love it...I went once to Primark not alone as a woman..it felt really great...it felt I was me. By the way your channel is awesome

[@menakanatasha]

This is so true, thanks for driving the point home Ashley!

[@donmills2647]

I appreciate the perspective. For background I am a straight guy, not a cross dresser, so limited on the range of women's clothes that I wear. Basically underwear in the bikini/hipster to thong range, 2 of the 3 pair of leggings I have are women's, and T-shirt/T-shirt adjacent type shirts. I like the shirts that have a short sleeve that angle toward the armpit primarily for running, but they are mixed in with the rest of my daily wear shirts. When I first started poking around on the internet to try to figure out the sizing for the underwear I ended up on Quora and subscribed to some related topics and reoccurring questions I see are along the lines of.... Can I/Should I wear a dress? Can I/Should I wear a skirt? Can I wear women's underwear? Etc... I could never make sense out of why people would ask permission for these things. After watching this video, I'm not fully there, but it does give me a little insight into why some of the people might be asking some of these questions.

[@nocapjessica2412]

Thanks so much for bringing up these topics, as its really not heard of as much. I’ve always loved crossdressing, since it helps me feel more feminine. Currently waiting to start hormones, so it does help as I wait to be fully feminine.

[@OMA2k]

Did you finally start? Any thoughts?

[@nocapjessica2412]

@ I did actually, a couple of months after I first commented on here, qnd really happy with my choice 😊

[@darlalathan6143]

I understand the denial, alright! I didn't know I was trans until diagnosed by a psychologist! Because I occasionally crossdressed since kindergarten. Every time Alice in Wonderland came on TV, I dressed as Alice. Whenever Wizard of Oz was on, I dressed as Dorothy! What finally broke my denial was seeing myself in full drag. I thought, "Whoa! I'm a hottie!" When I first went out in drag, I was told 3 times that I was beautiful and a man touched my hair and asked me to come to a nearby bar with him!

[@pandemoniumgaming6344]

Right now I'm feeling gender fluid or non binary but I'm not ruling out Mtf trans as I know for a lot this is the start of the journey into fully accepting and I'm happy for that to be my journey if that is how it goes with my feelings. But for now to experiment and see how it feels away from my flat, I've started to feminize my LARP character and they are now non binary wearing the prettiest dresses and make up. It's definitely helping me to realise that this isn't just a kink and I'm at my most happiest when showing my feminine side. Thanks for the great open content it helps a lot.

[@dianelane3396]

OMG ASHLEY!!!! You nailed that!!!in the beginning I made it sexual but I always felt like there was so much more. As i got older I just enjoyed the feel and ease of being a woman. I got to go for a makeover with a friend of mine and then go clubbing afterwards. There was no sexual encounters that nite but I finally felt ALIVE!!! My inner soul came alive and its been the greatest day of my life. I'm getting ready to see a therapist so hopefully I can peel this onion back more!!!

[@emmaraifoster4668]

"Denial is not just a river in Egypt" Mark Twain". I was a master at this until I dropped that act. Such easy advice to dispense to someone else, but incredibly confusing for those who go through it; especially in the 90s. Even then I regret not accepting myself for who I clearly was. Many years later I finally had a moment where I just stopped giving AF. That's what set me free.

[@stulee5314]

Thank you ❤ I know that when I’m dressed I feel relaxed, I feel myself, more focused, less anxiety and exploring my feminine side comes naturally, I don’t have to be over fem, there’s a softening and relaxing that comes through. This is after many years of being stuck in the ‘loop’ of the sexual energy, which used to destroy me . I not only love the exterior items, clothes, makeup etc, I love the deep Sense of exploring myself. Do I want the operation, no is the answer, I’m here as me. Maybe next lifetime ❤

[@astridlenore]

The meme is: "What's the difference between a crossdresser and a trans woman?" "About 2 years." In my case it was more like 40, but the point stands. I have seen the meme, and the meme is me. That said, I still hold that there is a large portion of crossdressers that are crossdressers and not trans, and that is 500% okay. Never feel pressured, from either side of the issue. Just be you; it takes bravery but it will be fully worth it.

[@misstrever1952]

...good show! Thank you. As a crossdresser myself for me I follow the yoga/yogic culture ie 'listen to your body' inside I'm definitely female whatever I may look like on the outside and crossdressing is my happy releasing valve completely changing my mood, my lady moves and mannerisms all come naturally to me and simply being what my body tells me to do. 👌🧸

[@cd-vq5co]

Wow. Glad I watched 'til the end, I can't believe I hadn't thought of that, it's pretty obvious in retrospect. It is good advice, to decouple the sexual if that was your entrypoint to that world (which in my case it was), especially in social settings and such. IMO it is good to test that out and I'm sure it can reveal some feelings for some that do show them that happiness you meant but I also wonder if it's got something to do with just being lonely in general and if these "socializing as a girl" try-outs feel good just because it's something novel and fun and not necessarily because it's "your gender" or w/e.

[@candycox3007]

Great video. The two biggest confirmations for me were: First-I always wanted to be the beautiful woman whenever I saw her. Second- I was so happy when I dressed dressed as my true self. On the weekends I express my true self, undressing is devastating to me, Mondays are desperately horrible. At age 65 I just won’t be transitioning full time.

[@kevindean394]

I bet you look good

[@cdsharon1993]

Enjoyed your views, you actually explained it the way we all think or at least the way I think.

[@KristineBrown-w3b]

This young lady is so in tune with people. As she tells her story of crossdressing, so many of us can relate her growth from being a young girl bu not knowing it. She, like so many did get a rise out of dressing in cute things, for me it was more but I did hide.

[@duderoom]

Wow... this video right here hit different for sure. It amazes me the similarity in how many of us share the same experiences Thanks for sharing

[@aNewDayWithErin]

I completely relate!! Thank you for being such a huge part of the community :) I just made my very first video (4 months hrt) today

[@paularon9423]

Thank You for explaining to Me the mixed feelings ,and confused thoughts

[@johnseltzer7735]

I can understand CD, and Transgender woman and men.. To me it's still about respect for the person being different.. You don't (F) a CD or transgender women or man or anyone in 15 mins .. This is a dangerous world out here and everyone needs to be safe and careful.. I lost a few friends ,they were scared to say who they were and what made them happy. They went looking for sex in my opinion in a very risky and unsafe way.. They paid the life price for being careless about who that let into their lives and what happened. Most CD and Transgender woman and men feel better in a safe group of there own peers, they sadly can't share it with other's but the desire to be excepted and cared about was so deep.. If your married or in a relationship with someone you love , please don't take risk .. The ones that truly love you at home if your not careful will suffer the most .. STD are out there and on very high infection rates , my friends that's sadly passed didn't think about it and now there gone from me and other's forever. Men are beautiful and so are women and special women and it's not at all about the sexual act, it's about looking and feeling beautiful.. Share it with people you trust and feel completely safe with, but please think of others and those that you love.. Don't allow ever anyone to use you for a sexual object. Your hearts and souls are worth a hell of a lot more than that..

[@liza542]

I new I always felt different. My girlfriend at the time got invited to a Halloween party. She suggested I dress up as a woman. I said no way she finally convinced me. After getting dressed up for Halloween. I looked in the mirror I could not believe how pretty I looked. That night changed my life. I started crossdressing all the time it just felt right. After 2 years I came out as trans. Living as a woman just felt right for me. I love being a woman.

[@durhamgrigg3125]

Thank you Ashley! You're thoughts and observations are SO spot on and reflect my own and my own experience and new 'happy' out there life!!! ❤❤😊😊 PS. You look great!

[@ripdog57]

Thanks!

[@AshleyxAdamson]

You bet! Thank you!

[@philipe7937]

I like the excitement and sexual arousal that comes from crossdressing. I have thought about going out in a beautiful appropriate dress with girlfriends and just be one of the girls and having a nice time together. I think I would really love that. I had questions of whether I am trans or not but after watching your videos I believe I am trans and I can’t live without it, I can’t just turn it off and continue being a masculine man. I don’t think I have ever been a masculine man even if I haven’t always crossdressed, all I know is I am most happy when I am dressed as a woman, I just love it so much. I am married to a good woman, a religious woman, and I know it would destroy our marriage if she ever found out, a side of me wants her to find out on her own without me telling her because I am such a weak sissy to tell her. I know she will eventually find out, I mean how can I hide this forever? I know I will buy more sexy clothes and shoes and I can’t resist it and I know it’s only a matter of time before she finds my stash and my pictures. I am terrified about that. I think I would rather she cheats on me and has an affair with some man and leaves me for him without her finding out about me so that at least I will have the upper hand without her finding out. It would be very painful but I would be so happy to finally start to crossdress all the time openly and move to the next phase of HRT and become a transgender member in the community. I dream of someday going all the way and do the surgeries for a womanly figure, breasts, buttocks and even a vagina, I really think this is my destiny.

[@adamwlee4715]

I feel this talk... I dress because it honnestly feels like a part of who i am.. I dont believe its a kink... Doesnt make me aroused... Just feels right. But yes the confusion of how it felt at an early age was very real. I guess then it could have been conveyed as arousing... But as an adult thats quite far off from reality

[@EricaForman]

This was very relatable to my early exploration years. This video really explains well how to interpret your behavior and making sure you can pick up the signals quickly. For me, it took so long to understand it, I remember being very comfortable being gendered female in public or on social occasions and my ex-wife to who helped me explore my gender. Thanks for making great content like this one! 💙💜🤍🥰

[@miss_jessika_10]

Thanks Ashley for this great video... I have been in that dilemma for many years, so this is very informative to me. I tend to think that I am to some degree a trans woman, but I have so many doubts... Relating with what you say, I definitely enjoy just feeling being a woman out of the sexual context (in the sexual context too, but I mean, also just feeling and behaving like a woman in normal situations)... So I agree, that is an indicator of me maybe being trangender... But on the other side, I also see some things that don't suggest I am trans.I have read that normally transwomen were girly in their games when they were kids, and that was not the case for me (even when I started to wear feminine clothes since very early, I think around 10 years old). And maybe more importantly, I honestly don't feel so much dysphoria, and what I really feel is euphoria when feeling like a woman. I do have some kind of dysphoria, for example about being hairy on my body, and not having a more feminine body in general; but the feelings of gender euphoria when I am behaving like a woman definitely are much stronger... It is all so confusing... I wonder if the picture will ever clear up to me... Anyway, thank you for sharing so much with us... I really love your channel! 😍😍❤❤😘😘

[@Christine_Robyn]

Denial is something that I have been in for my entire life. Crossing dressing is the first stage of a transgender womans transition. I have tried to convince myself that I cross dress for sexual pleasure, but I do not get turned on anymore. I do feel for contentment and peace.

[@claudioabado3317]

There are so many reasons to crossdress. It's a fascinating subject. The "idea" of "becoming a woman" though women's clothes is quite the experience. I know I don't actually "become a woman" when I'm dressed but that does not bother. I know it bothers other people but that's not my problem. I like the life the way it is and I'm not imposing on anyone. "Live and let live".

[@burningbothbinaries9889]

very interesting, as crossdresser from the age of 8, I'm 44 now, what interests me most is this idea of either "fetish" or "trans" for me, personally it's neither. I out grew the sexual aspect years ago, yet I have no inclination to live full time. I am out as a crossdresser, I express myself as a crossdresser, but I don't feel that I'm a transwoman. I seem to fall into the spectrum in the middle. Thank you for uploading this, this debate is something I have great interest in.

[@chrismartin5772]

Great video explaining everything that can be understood in a very simple way

[@lamaahruloma4270]

With denial(in general ) you can get a lot of ulcers. Don't do it, you need your stomach and ulcers are horrible.

[@AshleyxAdamson]

Wut?

[@liamodonovan6610]

You are beautiful it is perfectly ok to question your gender as much as it's ok to question your organisation iam glad you came to realise your true self you are beautiful as you inside and out love you so much

[@nuneze2008]

My crossdressing goes back a long long time (30yrs). I always question why? I go through phases where I dress all the time or never at all. I've done all the experimenting being with men women trans, myself and I use to believe it was for comfort within myself, now as I'm older I think denial has blinded me from believing that I'm just gay. But I like woman too.... It's so confusing.

[@zellfaze]

I spent 15 years casually cross dressing before coming out. It was never a kink or sexual thing for me. I just felt more comfortable in those clothes. I did think I was a weirdo. Excited to hear your thoughts. I'll reply to this with my thoughts after watching the video.

[@zellfaze]

Only 3:30 in and already have some thoughts. Before coming out and really diving into the trans community I had never even considered kinky crossdressing as a way someone might find out they are trans. For me my crossdressing was never really a secret from anyone who knew me well, it was just an eccentricity I had. "Oh yeah, he just likes to wear skirts and dresses, says they are comfy." The first time I tried on a skirt was actually with a girlfriend as a teen. There was one skirt she had even set aside as mine because I liked it so much. Everytime I hear about kinky crossdressing I feel fascinated. It is so different from my own experience. Really cool though too. Edit: Finished now. I want to second her thoughts on getting it out of the bedroom. See if you like just living in those clothes and that social role.

[@AshleyxAdamson]

Thank you for sharing!!!

[@christinalee90212]

Thanks for the video! Question, if I see a cute girl with a nice outfit, heels, etc. The first thing I usually think is "boy, I wish I was wearing that" Or "I would've worn this instead of what she's wearing" etc. Everytime I see an event (like a casino night at a club or a burlesque night at a bar) I don't think about taking my girlfriend as a date night, I think about what I could be wearing as a girl to that particular event. Does that make me trans? I love my boy side and I love my girlfriend but I also love dressing, makeup and transforming myself into a woman.

[@AshleyxAdamson]

sounds like it'd be worth exploring doing this more, just cause your happy as a guy doesnt mean youre not trans. i was also happy. see the pinned comment

[@johnswimcat]

Another great video, thank you. I crossdress, love it, but am not comfortable dressed as a girl or a woman all the time. I honestly believe I am partly male and partly female. The two parts are distinct though a leaning towards the female side of me is always there when I am in male mode and I never feel completely comfortable. When I am being female and dressed as a girl, as a teenie or as a woman I feel completely comfortable but after a few hours feel a strong need to change into male clothes again, not because I want to be male but because jeans and a sweatshirt are socially acceptable (ugh!) and practical for car mechanics &c. I can only imagine the reaction of my neighbours if they saw me rolling around under my vehicle in a tutu skirt! I have long hair which I cut with a fringe (bangs USA) and grow my nails long, cut in pointed Gothic style. I think what's happening is that I'm giving myself the freedom to be who and what I really am and, even in "male" mode, am slowly getting my very straight friends, acquaintances, work colleagues and others used to accepting me as I am and not expecting me to be something else. They all think I'm a bit strange but they are getting used to it. It takes time. I am slowly becoming more and more feminine as I feel the freedom to be so.

[@Danalatex140]

I absolutely love your videos you’re talking about cross dressing I did that until a lot of cross-dressing I did that for years at home until I was in the 40s and now I am transitioning but I still have a little bit shyness. I just can’t seem to take that lasts full-blown step I do dress and female clothes all the time but it may be a female But they are you know not as flamboyant as wearing dresses every day but I do like to go out and wear a dress at times. But you hit the nail right on the head about that I wish I would’ve figured it out but only problem I was working so damn much now I have an opportunity to go home so I feel comfortable and plus I move to New York City two years ago and it’s been fun. Love you hon.

[@johnnj3858]

So informative, I love your channel 💚

[@skywaveimages5054]

Thank you thank you 🙏🏼 Ashley! Your the best! Dropping bombs as usual :)

[@houston795]

Very powerful information love it❤❤❤❤

[@plant.hacks.4.ur.environment]

This was very informative. I’ve been thinking of this for past 8 years. Now I know I’m trans and have started looking at what to do. But it’s interesting because I have long hair and I’ve already mistaken for a woman on a occasions. Sometimes it’s flattering but like confusing since when I’m not actually trying I think. How does society perceive me then?

[@xempire103]

THANK YOU SO MUCH I am absolutely in this position right now and I don't know it it's a fetish or a trans thing. I need to take the crossdressing out of my room and go public like a gay bar or do it with some friends! Thank you!

[@SnowPanda32]

Thanks for sharing this is my first video from ur channel I just discovered I'm just now opening up dnt have really any friends who r girls or anyone that can help me transition and I just now told therapist I'm ready to be referred as she/her always have preferred however been scared anyway ima stop typing lol thanks again for sharing I'll be watching more everyone I get chance have a very blessed day

[@Nelsea7190]

at first i got a bit excited by the clothing then it became normal to wear that clothing. i got enough clothing to pretty much be equal to all my mens clothing and decided its impossible to stash it away BC there's too much too hide. so i just put unused mens clothing away in a bag and put the other clothing in the spot the mens clothing used to be. a skirt bra and B forms im public is normal/comfortable to me barring it appearing at work or around other family. its scary how fast the discomfort of having it stand out and worry about it disappeared. sometimes its a kink and 95% of the time its completely separated from it ie normal to wear/express myself in daily life.

[@christine_penn]

I considered myself a cross dresser for a long time, but I viewed it a little bit differently. In my case, it was something that I did as a coping mechanism. I was trying to come out, but I was not finding much support. So, I closeted myself and started crossdressing in secret. I started that at only 7 years old and continued that until I finally transitioned. (It's long and tragic so I won't go into much detail in between.) Taking that next step included having to go against those that were against me; and that took a very long time. Besides transitioning itself, that also added to the scariness to the process. I had to get to the point of willing to loose everything.

[@VladaDudak]

Interesting, I’ve cross dress since 7 yo, I’ve started medical transition later in my live and with HRT I’ve stopped to dress feminine at all 😀

[@christine_penn]

@@VladaDudak When transitioning both physically and medically our needs change and our true nature comes out. Kudo's to you.

[@Peaceful_Days]

I think I'm just frustrated with how limited self-expression for men in my country is. Most men's clothes are pretty boring, unless they are expensive designer clothes. I hate that it's not safe for a man to wear women's clothes in public. I don't think I want to transition, but I want to have more freedom of expressing. Some ancient cultures had the third gender, and I feel like I'm one like that. I'm ok with my body, but I want to present feminine socially.

[@Peaceful_Days]

Well, most men don't care about looking pretty and cute. Looking cute is the biggest thing for me. I think I'm non binary. I love the idea of being the third gender.

[@randallboeing9637]

Great video Ashley 😎❤️

[@timkendrick8414]

Great discussion. Thank you for sharing. Very insightful.

[@TSBeautiful]

I'm creative and it's helped me in the past to try and look like a woman. Some positive and negative, but i enjoyed it 👗

[@garywalsh2664]

Very well said..You hit the nail on the head.Would love to sit down and talk to you ❤️☺️🤙🏻☘️

[@seanabrennan9650]

I am transgender. I am in my 70’s. I grew up with many of the😮 old fashioned ideas about our situation. The Harry Benjamin Standards of Care was a great start but now we know it had many flaws. We now know that sex and gender are not binary. I’ve talked to psychiatrists and psychologists, all experts on this subject, and they say that there are probably an infinite number of variables of gender. So if someone tries to pigeon hole any of us into the binary they are making a big mistake. The biggest sign of whether someone is really trans is according to all of the professionals that I have talked to, “Are they doing better mentally, after treatment, with hormones and other procedures.” The big question are, “What is causing you the most dysphoria, right now?” “Do you feel better now?” The mental health practitioners, who were once the gatekeepers of our community, had a set of strict rules that we had to follow, or get kicked out of the program. It did not work. Most of the people only became better liars and often found easier places to obtain hormones and etc. Many trans people also became victims of bogus surgeons and etc. too many died.

[@andym28]

Cross dressing as a big muscular chick is a bit of a kink. I played saints Row 2 and designed my fantasy as toned muscular girl with Red pigtails and 6 pack and white snake white stilettos now I've become that chick.

[@ronaldsliski9585]

The main reason people do what they do! Is by the influences of evil spirits, in which continually doing so those people become overtaken by such spiritual beings, of leaves to a reprobate mind, a mind without conscious, a a harden heart of being a moral created person, this goes for degrading actions of society

[@martivamp5690]

Wow, thank you for sharing. This sounds like the story of my life

[@lukastaylor593]

This was Great video Ashley!

[@SpiritFox17]

I like the change in the channel, from Ashley x Adamson.. God Bless

[@lachlanhenry486]

I've been "crossdressing" for most of my 40 years. Yes, as a young child. I don't even think of a dress or makeup as feminine. It's just clothes that I wear, I am a man, I think, so I am dressed up as a man. My dresses are mens clothing. Of course I can be aroused with it, but I can also be aroused by a steamy, yummy indian restaurant, so it's not at all causational. Honestly, I'm probably just grunge. Like Curt wore dresses and makeup very often and naturally. It's part of my genx values, for sure. Cultural assumptions about my internal identity with such behavior is super annoying, though, and painfully frustrating, but honestly super rare and of zero importance in my life. Usually very positive comments, and the women I like usually really like me, too. I can do drag, just a stage performance, like putting on the Hamlet wig and saying the lines. I also understand the gay, trans, kink varieties, but I've never felt or wanted to be other than whatever the fuck it is that I am. I am a Lachlan. That sums it all up neatly, right? I see all the femboy, sissy, trans chatter. Remember that people are making money off the extremist dialogue and it can easily lead us to believe that Chris Pratt must be a perve weirdo for shopping in a dress. Ooh, oh no, my pearls! We have to put so.e clothing on, I guess. Sigh. Might as well look and feel as good as I can with that social requirement.

[@nagendrakumarcr]

There is no “self” or “individual”. It is all cultural input, it is a construct. Even the normal genders are also a role play but without doubt. Identity is an abstract. There is no need to identify with trans or cis. All feelings, emotions & thoughts are short lived, there is nothing permanent as such. No need to invest in anything in attempt to make it permanent. Just enjoy the act.

[@DennyEssary]

nightie and panties are comfortable

[@JennyTenPenny]

I kept 2 decades of crossdressing and sleeping with men a secret from just about everyone in my life. I wanted to and still want to go through with hrt, yet still afraid about those people in my life finding out about those desires and how I could even explain it to them. Or even just afraid that I could never pass as a women, accepting that I never will be a women. I spent a lot of time trying to mk ultra myself into being straight, thinking I was a disgusting pervert for this behavior, I was going to hell for it, I'm the reason for declining birth rates, society NEEDS me to be straight or it's the fall of Rome 2.0, et cetera. To the point I would talk massive hateful shit on the trans community because I was really just angry with myself for not being "normal". Maybe when I make it out of poverty and into a tax bracket, I could afford therapy. I wish it got better but I really don't know if it will.

[@lumisvideos]

Omg sister, it was EXACTLY like that for me too!

[@dweaver1805]

OMG Do I wish I had a place to talk about this! You hit on so much I need to hear but I am still kinda freaked out and confused. I don't want to be that creepy walmart guy with a hairy back and a halter top.

[@jenniferhopesafe9742]

When you fantasize about being a cis woman in a sexual manner, that's called autogynephilia. That's actually very common among cross dressers.

[@obiwitchkenobixch]

More and more I think I might be trans. Late thirties and only just realising it. In my twenties there was a sexual, mastabatory element to it. Now, I wear the clothes because I just have to. I felt no anxiety taking recycling out wearing the dress. Deliberately took my time. It felt good, really good, being just out in that small area for less than a minute as myself.

[@Lilly_in_the_pond]

I've been a crossdresser since I was a kid, and I've kept it a deep secret for this entire time. Only within the last few months have I finally gotten around my denial and started questioning it. This video is really helpful, but I know there is a lot more to think about before I can truly know what it means for me. My biggest thing is that I have so many moments of doing the things that you mentioned that are big indicators of possibly being trans, but then I have other moments where I think the opposite. Like, I have moments of being like "yeah I kind of want to get on HRT, that sounds great!" but then later on I'm like "yeah I don't think that's actually what I want..." basically me going from "oh I might be trans", to "nah, I don't think that's it." I'm not sure if that's just my sense of denial shining through, or if maybe that's a sign of me being something else? I definitely think there's more to it than just being a fetish though, despite telling myself that for all these years. It's a very confusing, yet intriguing journey

[@patvanuden]

hi, after watching this I still do not know if I am Cross or Trans. Any extra tests avail.?

[@AshleyxAdamson]

yeah try to cross dress in a non sexual setting and just be a woman and see if that clicks.

[@patvanuden]

that does not really work, I get horny all the time@@AshleyxAdamson

[@patvanuden]

but then sometimes I see a women at the office and I feel like I want to dress like her

[@김우진-y5o]

The thing that keep happening to me is that i wanna be like her and I will happier if I can be like her when I m seeing woman in street and I also keep talking myself that I wanna be like her. I don't know it can be called gender dysphoria because I feel like women isn't the subject that I m interested in or attracted. Is that a sign that I might be the trans?

[@collincluff7955]

I just watched your video on being turned on by cross dressing. I believe that we all were aroused by dressing female, but eventually, it becomes second nature and normal. When dressing female is normal, it is not necessary for sexual arousal and desire. But it is necessary for attracting men.

[@PaulCarrigan-i5u]

I think about crossdressing all the time just wish I could find a lady to talk me into it❤❤❤

[@anno5778]

I started living full time for 3 days straight then 7 days straight then 10 days then 15 days then basically lived 80% of the time as girl. Going out to do banking, I even a job. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t Just a fetish and told me very close gay friend and it was soooooo hard to even say, he actually askew if I was gay and timing was perfect as I have been living full time for a week at a time.

[@LaLa-sz3vn]

I'm a Straight Male who is a Transvestic Women's Shoe Fetishist Who wears Women's Footwear especially High Heels. I love the Pleasureable Stimulating Gratification Factor in the wearing of Women's Shoes, Only. At the moment I slide into a pair of Women's Footwear especially High Heels, I have a High unlike anything I have ever experienced. I have a Real Special Thing for Women's High Heeled Mules Sandals and Clogs, as well.

[@ronaldweir712]

I have known that I have been transgendered since as long as I can remember and I am nearly 70 now. There are other ways to get around the gender dysmorphia that some suffer without the mutilation of surgery and so on. Not everyone can pass off the bat and the ridicule that would be encountered in any given situation makes it very difficult to ever contemplate walking out in a dress. Besides women rarely go out in dresses these days unless it's a nice sunny day. If you want to see if you can really pass as woman try a virtual world like second life and see how you get on. If you can go and survive as a woman in that world then perhaps you can in real life. However unless your family are supportive it's still likely to lead to major disruption and depression. Don't forget that suicide rates for trans are way higher than the rest of the population. Being trans cost me my marriage when I told her. Rather than support I got vilified.

[@evangelinepong852]

I always asking myself am I just cross dress for kinks or am I a trans. Your experience kinda similar to me. I do feel arouse in the beginning, but lately I have gone passed that, I wanna be her and wanna be pronouns as she/her.

[@priehowell8825]

Enjoy yourself . People do it for all kinds of reasons. Just ignore all the recent hate from women.

[@Rozzia]

Thank you great vid❤😊