Is Overcoming Enmeshment The Same As Cutting Off Your Family?

[@proudatheist2042]

"Family does not give people permission to be abusive." Thank you. I bought and read one of your books years ago. People can give voice to reason, but they cannot change others, especially ancestors who love their dysfunctional patterns too much.

[@suef52]

So good! Had to set big boundaries with my parents and go low contact. Pushback was huge and I was seen as being disloyal to the family "system". I had relinquished my role as the fixer or go to person in my family of origin. Eventually went no contact with abusive siblings who saw me as abandoning them. To do anything outside of the family such as making my own choice was met with passive aggressive behaviour and bouts of the silent treatment dished out until I conformed. Thank you for your work. I find it so validating.

[@SweetSiNNer87]

Thanks for this Dr.Adams. I’m from the Caribbean where enmeshment and especially mother enmeshed men is prevalent. My husband is the poster child for a severely enmeshed husband. I reached out to your office for help but was told you couldn’t do therapy for us because we’re out of the territory in terms of licenses. So we’ve sought help from a group of therapists who are familiar with your principles and we’re trying to recover, It’s really challenging. I feel you should broaden your work and training to other territories like ours so that our therapists can actually help victims of enmeshment. There needs to be further awareness and if we recover, I’d be happy to provide testimony for you. Court systems, traditional therapists, do not recognize enmeshment and this just results in the issue never being appropriately addressed and the metaphorical casualty count for all victims of enmeshment is 100%. Your work is critical, your work can save marriages, families and end the prevalence of generations trauma or the resultant trauma on the young offspring exposed to and negatively affected by the insidious nature and havoc of enmeshment. Please continue to spread the word, especially in further territories x

[@gojiberry7201]

I have gone no contact with my family (older parents). It wasn't part of a "trend" -- I really dislike people who call it that. It was the only solution I had to saving my mental health. No one encouraged me to do it; I decided it on my own. Since I have gone no contact, my mental health has stabilized. And it's still not easy. It was the hardest thing to do, and I still feel guilty about it over a year later. But I lost my brother to su*c*de, and I don't want to follow in his tracks. I had to make decisions to better myself. I was 45 when I made the decision. For me that was the needed course.

[@faycal799]

I need help

[@Kittyququmber]

What is it called when there is severe enmeshment AND a history of abusive neglect and manipulation.