Is Queer A Slur?

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Hello everyone! Thank you for watching! I appreciate differing opinions in the comments, I understand a lot of people disagree with me or have different perspectives, and I welcome discussion about it! Terminology is always changing to keep up with culture and I don't know everything! I am, however, deleting comments that are just outright hateful of the queer community.

[@aprilk141]

You gotta team up with Professor Lando!

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

@@aprilk141 that would be pretty cool! He would probably like the one I just recorded which will be out in a couple weeks!

[@plastictouch6796]

LBGT+ allows for the idea that you can cut off letters and throw them under the bus. the LGB crowd comes to mind. Saying Queer not only is all inclusive, but it is more unifying as instead of highlighting our differences and trying to put us all into neat little boxes it recognizes the messiness of it all and brings us together. If someone attacks a queer person they are attacking all of us. LGBT+ allows our enemies to divide us to conquer us.

[@milascave2]

When universities departments of Queer Studies, I hardly think that it can be considered a slur anymore.

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

Good point. Of course, on the flip side, mainstream academia still refuses to adapt to the preferred language/labels of other marginalized groups. I’ve read anecdotal accounts of college professors lecturing disabled students that they’re wrong for preferring identity-first language, for example.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Universities can really suck when it comes to disability and disabled students.

[@something-from-elsewhere]

@@GhostIntoTheFog Lowkey kinda hate person-first language bein used on me lol and I'm pretty outspoken so I would prolly get myself in trouble if I ran into one of those college professors haha

[@EdwardHaas-e8x]

Yeah, I didn't think it was a slur anymore if you're using it in the contemporary sense. It sure was in my day, though. But a bigot using it in that sense instead of a different slur would look weird now IMO. A time traveling hater.

[@ortuluna]

Saying "Homosexual" in a slightly southern accent sounds more like a slur than queer.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

@@ortuluna it does lmao

[@unktheunk1428]

I like the word queer because I don't fit super cleanly into "gay" even though it applies somewhat, but I'm definitely a queer individual in the classical sense for a bunch of non-gender/sex related reasons. I like "queer" because instead of just being about making society accept a discrete set of presentations and activities it's about changing how things are deemed acceptable in the first place.

[@curtbat]

I love the is that a twink or a lesbian. I as a chunky gay man spent a night flirting with a fem twink but after a bit we realized she was a woman and I just looked like Rosie O'Donnell from a league of your own.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Lmao. Many such cases!

[@singingstranger2571]

People really do seem to forget that most of our community language has been reclaimed and de-medicalised. I've used many different words to describe my experiences to many different people. Some words carry painful memories. Some words are unacceptable when used by one person, but fine when used by another. But when I am talking about other people, I often just default to queer.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Yes, absolutely! I think a lot of the arguments from chronically online queer people stem from people being unable or unwilling to accept that words change meaning in their social contexts and change meaning over time. So while many older gays might not like the term "queer" because in the context of their lives, it was really bad, the younger generations like "Queer" because they are often hit with things like "alphabet soup people" or "alphabet people" referring to "LGBTQIAA2+" so "Queer" works better for them.

[@JonathanJimbo]

​@@Trash-Garbage-TrashThink it might be time for us to reclaim "alphabet people" as an aroace enby here.

[@tmmaster6904]

​@@Trash-Garbage-Trash don't get me wrong, I love the term alphabet mafia and have reclaimed it the very moment I first heard it, but queer is just what the proper nomenclature should be, for ease of conversation we need a word for it that encompasses all of us and sounds like a proper word, that isn't just some big haphazard acronym to me it's so deeply important that the word queer becomes proper language enough that people who aren't queer feel comfortable saying it, if we're harder to talk about we're easier to alienate

[@foxmusicalchemist]

Autism (and other neurodivergencies, but it's autism month) has a huge overlap with queerness. Part of the reason why the term neueroqueer is also gaining in popularity within the community. Because being neurodivergent inherently queers the way that you interact with the world, and automatically gets you chronically stuck with some kind of a Weird label. It's also a major predictor of poverty and being vulnernable to abuse, and discriminated against in professional settings. In a lot of very similar ways to a lot of queer people. For being unable or uunwilling to mask and put on the best Professional performance and appearance. Despite many people claiming autism isn't a real disability and doesn't really need accomodation or increased understanding, it's the most unemployed disabled community. at 70-85%, even among college educated ones. AUtism within local homeless populations range from 15-40% based only on official diagnosis (not counting those who weren't flagged as needing any help and thus never got diagnosed but then hit a wall of burnout and regression, which is very common. Hence the whole burnt out gifted kid meme). 1/3 autistic people experience hikikimori. And it really compounds with queerness, because often disabled people are forced to remain closeted or at least Toned Down in order to recieve support/not experience abuse from family or the like. And with autism that can be extra hard to actually comply with long term. Resulting in a lot of abusive situations and loss of any and all support. As well as a general framing of autistic struggles as chracter flaws and actually perfectly valid reasons to kick out an entitled spoiled brat, often framed as "tough love" and "helping" (eg executive function, sensory issues, employment struggles, burnout struggles, struggles with ADLs/daily chores, emotional regulation issues, meltdowns etc)

[@foxmusicalchemist]

and tbh autism is really the only reason why an identity like autixenoflux is even a thing with an understandable lore, even if there is no actual wiki entry on that specific term at this time lol

[@foxmusicalchemist]

Actually on the crossover between neurodivergence and queerness. You can even notice how some of the physical traits and characteristics associated with gay men and other queer people is kind of neurodivergent in nature. Talking with a lisp, having unusual posture or fashion interests, limp wrists, a girl dressing for fashion or even not wearing makeup being autistic/queer/just vaguely Not Like Other GIrls coded. ...it's a lumped in stereotype for a reason. Diagnostic criteria for autism used to include things like disregard for gender norms and claiming to be a different gender than they Really Are. ABA is a twin of conversion therapy and still treated as The Autism Treatemet by much of the medical establishment, even clamoring for public funding while queer groups focus only on gay conversion therapy. In fact a lot of the DIY ABA from my liberal ally mom just ended up replicating conversion therapy I had at my dad's house. Because she bought into the narrative taht autistic people just need to be taight their real gender and how to properly conform to it. Even into the late teens and adulthood. Only to later on claim that she had no idea I had even expressed a trans identity. Because it was all just filtered into correcting autistic behavior away. THe things are way more related than a lot of neurotypicals like to think about.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

YES! I talked about that in my review of Camp Damascus! ABA IS conversion therapy. For autistic people. And both of those are torture. A disproportionate amount of autistic people are queer, the reasons behind that are complicated and not fully understood but it is absolutely true.

[@drtaverner]

Just being neurodivergent fits the historical definition of Queer.

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

@Fawkseyness It does often frustrate me that the queer community at large doesn’t recognize ABA as conversion therapy or include it in its abolition efforts. A friend of mine who is an ABA survivor said they don’t feel they’re even taken seriously by their allistic queer peers when they share their trauma. Considering how much overlap there is between the queer and neurodivergent communities, it’s disheartening to see our common oppression separated into two distinct boxes. Conversion therapy is conversion therapy.

[@MommaBiskit]

I've just discovered your channel and I'm loving it. And hey, panromantic ace shout-out!! I feel seen.

[@fancyorangemittens]

My brother hates it and went *off* about how his college had a 'Beers with Queers' night.... he's weirdly dedicated to being as masc and straight-passing as possible, though. I... am too ill to put much into my appearance atm, and my physical therapist told me this morning that I need to dye my hair blue and tell my work that I'm nonbinary to get them to make reasonable accommodations for my illness. I am nonbinary, and I've had interesting hair colors over the years, but uh. Yea, no, if anything that would hurt my chances of being taken seriously by my employer. I prefer Queer, though. It's comfortable for me.

[@foxmusicalchemist]

I got a fast food job with blue hair once. The only one there with obviously dyed hair. But as soon as I have an autistic shutdown at work (I usually work on prep and washing dishes but was put on drive thru because super busy right after a college game and they refused to believe it's a terrible idea to make me have to rapidly switch tasks, talk to customers, multi task etc). The manager decided to impose a new rule banning dyed hair...he tried to find an area in the employee handbook to justify "just going back to the official rules". But the handbook explicitly said there is no restriction on hair color, only on hair length/containment. So he literally penciled in a new rule nullifying that specifically just to discriminate against me without pointing to disability for it. literally everyone knew what it was about and why. And many came to me specifically to show sympathy. I came in with a wig until they just decided to stop scheduling me at all to get rid of me

[@mudkip_btw]

you need to dye your hair to "pass" as nonbinary? 👁️👄👁️

[@fancyorangemittens]

@@mudkip_btw oh, I live in Montana-Dakota territory. Dude has no clue I'm Queer-- he was "making a joke," stacked on a lot of assumptions. I'm kinda cagey around people I don't know well, because it's dangerous to deviate or be AFAB here.

[@jazmineraymond7495]

Get a new therapist, they suck, also you can probably get some kind of paperwork from the government or something if you need workplace accommodations, and they probably won't want to risk getting a fine.

[@mudkip_btw]

@@fancyorangemittens that makes sense, stay safe! I was just a bit perplexed you were told to pass better as nonbinary to be respected. I guess it could mean not passing as cis, but soo many cis people have dyed hair🙄

[@happyninja42]

I mean when people self identify as queer, who the hell am I to tell them they're wrong?

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

Precisely. A good lesson I think far too few people learn is, “You don’t get a vote in how other people choose to identify.”

[@TroubleSturm]

I'm definitely queer, but it's not just my bi/pansexuality that is unusual. I also have skeletal deformities and deviant ideas and politics. I feel a strong connection with the term. I always have. I've always preferred the company of other freaks and queers, and can be quite uncomfortable with people who don't at least try to step outside of the confinement of "normal" and try to do something amazing instead.

[@drtaverner]

I've heard Queer in a hate context, but not for decades. Really, anyone who doesn't fit into the mainstream "norm" is technically _Queer._

[@JonathanJimbo]

For me I interpret the word Queer (as in the Q in LGBTQIA+) to mean "sexuality undefined". That is, one is making a statement that the human experience is way too complex to fit into simple boxes like gay, straight, bi, ace etc. So instead you identify with the word Queer while giving no further definition or qualification. Genderqueer I also interpret as the gender equivalent of the above.

[@kneau]

Thank you for writing/posting this. Your comment is exactly what I've been looking for.

[@tmmaster6904]

I both agree and disagree, it can be used in that context, but broadly queer just means one of us, this coming from someone with a very complicated set of identities like, I certainly use and identify with queer and genderqueer to give the idea without having to explain in detail, but even if I only had the parts of myself that were easy to explain, they'd still qualify me as queer

[@internetfox]

for me it also means that my gender is like inherently like gay/bi lol

[@DeadDamsel]

My dad used to say queer as a slur. I now say it more than he ever did, and it’s not a slur in my head. It depends on the context and intent.

[@AidanL17]

Boring cis/het person, but I use it as an umbrella term for the reasons you've laid out. It's a more efficient use of syllables (and easier to remember) than the letters. Importantly, it is also how many of my friends have described themselves over the years. It often feels more accurate than attempting to apply specific labels to every person.

[@microArc]

"okay... how did the boot taste?" 😭😭 i fuckin lost it

[@amaras.4500]

I like using the term queer for myself because otherwise I'm not sure how to label myself, I love the broadness and fluidity of it, and I'm not going to let mean people use that word to tear me or other people who like using the term for themselves down. I would rather embrace the label and make it my own Beyond that, I've always been odd/weird to others, even disregarding the parts of my identity that fall within the LGBT+ community. I don't think being odd or weird is a weakness, even if others think that. If they're gonna brand me as something other than the norm anyway, then why agonize over it? They're silly for doing that, in my opinion You're very well-spoken in your videos and I do agree that people shouldn't police what other people choose to reclaim. It's one thing if they're being hateful to others, but if they are just policing others for no solid reason other than slur bad... I'm not sure how I see it as their place to dictate how someone decides to refer to themself Best of luck with growing your channel, friendo

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Thank you!

[@nathanbernards]

I love that moment in the office when the boss thought Mexican was a slur

[@earthaforester3141]

I'm a 36yo, closeted, recently self-diagnosed autistic "pansexual"(?) "nonbinary(?)" afab, etc etc - QUEER. I've only recently allowed myself to begin identifying with the queer and autistic communities. Growing up in the 90's and early 2000's, I wasn't even exposed to these ideas - autism was for unruly boys, and I only knew about L,G, and B. And I definitely had no concept of autism and queerness having any relation to one another. I simply didn't have language to describe myself (still kind of don't), and I've spent my whole life masking and struggling with imposter syndrome and social constructs in general. I only just started learning about autism and queer diversity in the last couple of years (still learning). But I'm really fascinated by it, and what Im learning gives me a greater understanding of myself and of the complexities of the human experience in general. It's truly impressive to me how creative and diverse we are as a species - the ways we conceptualize, identify, and express ourselves. I currently primarily use the term "queer" when describing myself (within a certain context, i.e. safe spaces etc), in part because I don't really have a desire to "nail myself down" to hyper-specific identities (although I do find them interesting and useful); and because it's frankly too complicated and unnecessary to have to write a philosophical thesis paper (that only a fraction of society even understands) every time I want to casually refer to myself. I also use "queer" when referring to the community in general, and for essentially the same reasons. Unless you're getting into a more nuanced discussion, we need an umbrella term that is both practical and inclusive. We can't keep adding letters forever, and frankly I've heard people mock the alphabet soup WAY more often than I've heard "queer" used as an insult in modern discourse. A lot of people have trauma associated with the word "queer", and there is room for us to honor that because it's a relevant part of our history, but they also need to understand that "queer" has been reclaimed by the community and is largely considered a power word precisely for that reason. A word can have multiple meanings and functions.

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

Neurokin fist bump. Only recently started exploring my autigender/nonbinary identity.

[@greyblories7894]

Queer is like the only word that even comes close to describing me I refuse to stop using it for myself. If anyone genuinely used Queer as a slur against me I would feel so fucking validated lmao. I also will use it as an umbrella term for large groups of Queer people - I will not use it for individuals unless I know for sure they claim the term, because I know especially elders in the community who might have genuine trauma from the word. I will however continue to push back against truscum +others who try to push the narrative that it shouldn't be reclaimed/should remain a slur. What use does the community have from allowing it to remain a weapon used against us? For situations like these I remember that GOT Tyrion quote - "Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." I take this mindset with all the things about myself that others might disparage, and simply embrace these parts of myself instead of agreeing that they're odd and wrong and being ashamed.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

I absolutely agree! I think some of these people have a vested interest in having it remain a slur. I think that exact attitude you described is a great reason why we reclaim slurs - if we own them, they can't be used against us.

[@joeewell4846]

Having been born a true hermaphrodite, now known simply as "intersex", I was never considered "queer", an early derogatory word for gays, and yet today the word "queer" has become not only acceptable but a "proud" word used by many LGBTQ, doesn't figure does it. I guess times have changed, even though I am trying to adjust to the new "norms". I must admit that I am having much difficulty, to say the least, trying to adjust to these new "norms" but as a member of the LGBTQ "I" A, I find that I must at least make an attempt to adjust to modern society.

[@saraellwood630]

There are younger folks openly using f****t now, which is the word used against me before I was ever attacked growing up. At first I was uncomfortable with the idea, but now i think it's kind of cool that they're reclaiming it! The term "gay" was also used to describe literally anything disgusting or bad while I was growing up, and I was called "lesbian" whenever I rejected advances from men or boys. All of these words had bad connotations for me growing up, associated with bullying and violence. But once I got older, I'm realizing that language changes quickly, and intent is hugely what determines a word's meaning. I use queer for myself, because it's simple and gets the point across. I'm a straight passing bisexual, and the shit that I take about it in queer groups (and straight groups) is ridiculous, so using queer as a label helps.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Yeah I have been physically assaulted by someone calling me a lesbian, but I don't think that warrants giving up the word entirely and ceding it to those who hate us. I love when people understand that language changes! And it changes quickly! Lesbian used to mean anyone in the wlw community and now it refers mostly to exclusively homosexual women. That change is super recent, within the last 30 years. I didn't say it in the video but some of this probably does come down to generational differences and the generation wars. Old people always think the kids are crazy and cringe and vice versa, no matter what the differences actually are.

[@saraellwood630]

Exactly! Language is such a beautiful thing, and we can't let hateful people take it from us.

[@timschantz3233]

I dig what I'm guessing is a giant spider on the top shelf.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Thanks! It's a jumping spider plushie! Someone gave it to me a few years ago. It's really cute.

[@sjwarhammer4039]

I've identified as a queer dude for over a decade now though I've never put much thought into why I prefer it over a more specific label. Sounds good to my ear, fits like a glove, and makes me happy I guess.

[@KrashyKharma]

I genuinely don't understand why "GSRM" hasn't picked up yet. Gender, Sexual, and Romantic Minorities literally includes *everybody* and doesn't offend people who don't like queer. It's SO OBVIOUS. We should either use "queer" or "GSRM", yet here we all are, still arguing about what letters to add or not add, whether we should be allowed to say queer or not... and so on.

[@terratorment2940]

I'll have to take a look at this. I know there was an article about some older assimilationist gay man who got butthurt that he saw "queer" as an option on a drop down menu for identifying his orientation.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

@@terratorment2940 yeah some people don't like it and I understand why, but words change meaning over time

[@ThePiedPiperOfVienna]

KZbin randomly suggested that video to me and I already watched almost all your videos! Keep it up! 🖤

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Wow, thank you!

[@ThePiedPiperOfVienna]

@@Trash-Garbage-Trash I'm the one to say thank you here! Your takes are supre based (and not just compared to all the cishet nonsense out there) and make me think.

[@LuluTheCorgi]

I always say I'm queer when people ask who I am, I identify pretty strongly with the label especially because of it's early political meaning F respectability politics and F people trying to divide the community Its not just me being trans or me being pan, it's also about me being politically active, being disabled and not submitting to society even under the threat of violence And even if it was a slur, wouldn't we still be okay to say? The whole thing about Reclaiming slurs? Like black people using the n word or gay people using the f Word or us trans people using the t word People have always been allowed to self identify with slurs, so even if it was a slur it still wouldn't make sense to forbid I'd

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Hell yeah to everything!!! Slurs are reclaimed all the time and rendered powerless or even powerful to the group they apply to. Like Dyke Marches.

[@MiddleAgedMartianDog]

While it is definitely distinct the ideas of queer theory have been so influential on the neurodivergence paradigm / movement and while the term “neuroqueer” is not anywhere near as widely used as ND it shows “queerness” is a really useful concept. Especially now I notice the queer charities I have sought help from have begun to incorporate autism and ADHD into their identity support matrix.

[@mudkip_btw]

✨d i s c o u r s e✨

[@lalalalalalalalalala-js5xl]

30:00 what you are saying is basically that words have no real inherent meaning to which i agree

[@JLP802]

I love the term queer and it is the thing that I feel best fits me. It was definitely what got used as a slur constantly when I was a kid, frequently against me, and nobody on earth knew that I was a queer person not even myself at the time. Bullies were most likely responding to my autistic traits and using the slur that most readily came to their lips. I guess I can understand the point of view of someone not liking the term because of their experience like that, but I mean, come on, it is not a recent reclamation and has been used in the community for decades. I remember being a subscriber to the queer-youth listserv in the 90's before I aged out of it (moderation policy was an age limit of 24 for subscribing)... that was the my first exposure to the term being reclaimed.

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

We’re here. We’re queer. We don’t want anymore bears. (Sorry, the Simpson-obsessed kid in me couldn’t resist.) Seriously, though, you did an excellent job outlining the history of the term and explaining how and why it was reclaimed. I can understand why someone who had queer hurled at them as a slur would be opposed to reclaiming it, but, as someone without that baggage, I’m comfortable using it as an umbrella term. (I started using the MOGAI acronym recently, BTW. It seems to get across what LGBTQIA2S+ does in a much more efficient way that doesn’t always categorize one group or another as “the rest.” Not quite as efficient as queer, of course.) Some people don’t understand that reclaiming a slur or other negative term/symbol is nuanced and extremely dependent on context and history. As an Autistic, I’ve had it argued to me (primarily by deeply self-loathing people) that we should reclaim “Aspie,” the puzzle piece or even the r-word, and I kindly tell those people where they can shove their terrible suggestions. I also appreciated your point regarding those who think normalization and acceptability and are the best or only path toward liberation. Choosing how to present ourselves based on how inoffensive or unthreatening we think it will make us appear is not liberation; at best, it’s a gilded cage. I’m going to go binge the rest of your back catalog now. I hope you’ll set up some way to support the channel in the future (like a certain platform beginning with “P” and ending with “N”).

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Thank you! I don't know if I can make enough content for a channel and a patreon right now, but maybe in the future if people are interested!

[@LuluTheCorgi]

I don't think you get to decide what things people get to reclaim, you can be personally against it, that doesn't mean the others are wrong - you just have a different opinion

[@93lozfan]

Me, queer? Yes I am strange. I'm also a man who's attracted to men but that's secondary.

[@artosbear]

A slur can be used by the people it's targeted at and it not be a slur...because a slur is used to further systemic violence and oppression. I despise respectability politics.

[@lucasinatur]

I really like the term queer. I myself am still struggling with finding out what gender I see myself as, and probably are bi, but I don't fucking know. So until I know and found some label I can share with others, I'll just say queer if someone asks. If they want detail, boy I got some details for them. But if not this is easiest. Also until I find a gender presentation for myself, I will just go with what I went with so far but make it more queer. Just atypical. The term and concept are really great and useful for people like me who are still finding out a lot about themselves.

[@kc0itf]

Have you looked into the history of the Mary Nardini Gang and their definition of Queer?

[@lalalalalalalalalala-js5xl]

Language is like 95% vibes and assumptions and almost constantly changes so if something was a slur like 60 years ago it doesn't matter if people now use it differently

[@amehayami934]

No Queer isn't a slur we reclaimed it. It is away to describe the entirety of the LGBTQ + so saying you are Queer is short hand for saying you are one or more of the letters in the LGBTQ + We have taken it back along time ago around the time when Millenials was just getting out of high school or maybe a little later? As for me instead of listing out all the letters I am which is 3 I just say Queer.

[@OrangeLove-um4dd]

Yessss, I completely agree that it needs to be reclaimed! I remember when I was young, I never swore at all on purpose; I was too bashful to say "sex" out loud, cause I was told not to say "sexy" as a kid, so when it came time to talk about it in class, I tried to say "gender" to refer to sexual intercourse, kehehe! Back then, I'd have said "there's no reason to swear, there are other, more creative ways to describe things." LGBTQ, and its derivatives, are not only unwieldy, but it keeps updating when I'm not looking! Like, I didn't even realize there's an "A2" at the end now, making the umbrella term to describe us a whopping 10 syllables of alphabet soup. At this point, queer is easier to say, easier to type, AND easier to remember, and it forces people to see us all as a community while taking away any power that term has to be used against us. Nowadays, I swear like a sailor AND describe things in creative and fun ways! Words carry weight, but they don't have a mind of their own. I gained a special brand of confidence when I grew up and allowed myself to cuss up a storm, no longer limiting my f bombs to the warzone of my mind. I say we should feel free to reclaim slurs used against us, ... - --- .--.

[@Dumbledoresarmy13]

I guess it depends on how you view the word on its own. Does the word itself, when used to describe something other than people mean "freaky/weird/unnatural" or does it mean "different/unusual/eccentric", because it can be interpreted either way. That feeling probably carries over into other contexts, so some people are like "hell yeah, I dare to be different" and other people are like "who' you callin' a weirdo, a**hole?"

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

I would posit that it doesn't mean either of those things in the use case of referencing the queer community. I would argue that it currently refers to what many chronically online people would call MOGAI - "Marginalized orientations, Gender Alignments, and Intersex" - rather than the other use case of "odd or unusual." Like how the "Plain Community" refers to the Amish, Mennonites, Hutterites, and others who dress and live similarly. The word "Plain" means ordinary, not remarkable or special, undecorated, etc but those people are considered extremely odd and unusual to us and stylistically distinct. They do have specific trappings, or decorations, which define the style. The word is being used for a specific community and not in terms of the adjective "plain." I see Queer as having taken on an entirely separate meaning from "odd and unusual" in this context. Which often happens as language changes to keep up with culture.

[@coastergirl98]

I'm a lil concerned that you have a plush spider

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

I love my jumping spider! Apparently it's from a cartoon called Lucas The Spider but I just think it's cute!

[@lalalalalalalalalala-js5xl]

Idk i would like one

[@coastergirl98]

@@lalalalalalalalalala-js5xl I'm fucking petrified of spiders. A large spider or a large group of spiders is more terrifying than the scariest haunted house or the most demented horror movie.

[@lalalalalalalalalala-js5xl]

@@coastergirl98 fair point

[@charlespentrose7834]

Queer used to mean *weird*, but meanings change over time and about the only times I've seen it in that context are in older works. Weird is not a bad thing, it just means we don't fit into the societal boxes people want to shove us in. So, obviously, people who want to have everyone shoved into neat little boxes oppose the word queer.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

@@charlespentrose7834exactly! Thank you!

[@ChristianCatboy]

Huh... I'm surprised that "twink" got listed as a slur. Doesn't it just mean someone who identifies (at least partly) as a gay male, and has a slim, glabrous, neotenic, "effeminate" physique? I'd consider it a compliment if someone called me a twink - especially at my age! I don't know much about gay culture in the real world, so maybe I'm ignorant of how the word is actually being used. "Twunk" is definitely NOT a slur, though - right?

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

@@ChristianCatboy yeah twink is definitely not a slur

[@BlertaPupu]

So I'm german and we don't really have a non-negative term even for gay. We say "schwul" but it's an insult. I love queer compared to gay because it's way more inclusive. Gay to me specifically means " homosexual men", sometimes lesbians are also included but not really named with it and sometimes it also means bi men. So yeah, that's why I love queer. I also use queer quite often with english speakers and no-one that is queer has complained about it.

[@son_of_eos6481]

This was a great video! As a baby-gay, I almost fell deep into the respectability-trap, so glad I got over it. As queer people we still often begin our life denying parts or all of our identities, why should be then turn around and impose that horrible state on anyone else, especially our queer siblings?!

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

It happens to a lot of people! And to me it's super understandable, they have internalized a lot of self-hatred and are processing it. I try to have a lot of patience and grace for young queer people who fall into this. It's sometimes difficult. I'm glad you were able to overcome it!

[@son_of_eos6481]

@@Trash-Garbage-Trash exactly, i understand the impulse, and by no means got past it by myself. It's just horrifying irony :(

[@LuluTheCorgi]

Glad you made it to the correct side ❤

[@michellybells8657]

Personally I don't think "is it a slur?" can ever be a baseline determiner for when a word for queer people is harmful, because to the people using it that way, BEING queer is the slur, not the word. Stigma and hate can turn any word into a slur, so it's up to us to decide which words are ok and which are triggering. I usually ask people when I meet them which (if any) words they're uncomfortable with, and not use those around them. Except my mom. Screw her. She's a Christo-fasc and doesn't deserve my language filter. 😂

[@nathanbernards]

Sometimes a box is just a short closet❤

[@Twilightsonata-w7p]

I feel queer can be a slur depending on the context used. However if a word is used often enough to cause harm or misrepresent an underprivileged group of people, any word can be a slur 😅

[@AmadeusK626]

I'm queer as hell, but personally I don't really like the LGBTQIAA2+ acronym you used. In San Francisco earlier this year someone told me that they use 2SLGBTQIA+ (two spirit, lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer, intersex, ace) as the acronym for the community and I've been using that ever since. I find it easier to write/remember and I like that it emphasizes the validity of two spirit people by placing '2S' at the beginning of the acronym.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

I don't mind changing the acronym to the new one, the reasoning makes sense to me. I do think making the switch community-wide might be difficult. I'll consider switching up my language. I'll have to look into this! Thank you!

[@dexmartin4358]

Well looking at the comment, it looks like I'm the sole voice of dissent here. so here goes: The wonderful thing about words is that they're made of sounds and you can come up with an infinite number of combinations of sounds to form new words. So why do we so fiercely want to hang on to this word? The fact is, the word queer makes a lot of members of the community uncomfortable. Full stop. It doesn't matter why, it's none of anyone's business why. It doesn't matter if it's because it's a slur or because of personal history with it, or the usage of the word in the past, or differing beliefs or whatever. It makes them uncomfortable, and that should have been enough for everyone else to say "this isn't a good umbrella term for us.." And if we truly were a united community we would have moved on and found another word. But a big faction of the community fought to keep/reclaim queer precisely BECAUSE it made the other faction uncomfortable. The division is coming from inside the house. I personally don't have a problem with "queer" being used to describe me. I've even used it myself. But I would never use it to describe others without their consent. I would never use it as an umbrella term without the consent of everyone under the umbrella. Because when someone has denied their consent, I don't argue "why?" They've denied it and that's enough.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

I came to the conclusion that queer is a fine word, but you shouldn't call people it if they don't want to be called it. So I think we mostly agree.

[@aspidoscelis]

I'm sure I've heard someone use "queer" as a slur, but I can't remember when. It's kind of anachronistic.

[@aspidoscelis]

"Gay" was the main one when I was young. It's much more current as a slur.

[@aspidoscelis]

On discord, I’m hearing people in their late teens talk about “gay” *still* being used as a slur, whereas I’d’ve guessed “the youth” were at least over it…

[@lalalalalalalalalala-js5xl]

​In the past im pretty sure it was@@aspidoscelis

[@sillylily807]

"but that's abig ask for the t's" as a tgirl that genuinely had me laughing out loud idk if that was meant to be a joke but it was funny asf lmao

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Absolutely a joke lol. Thank you!

[@brnfrmjts05]

Great video. I really enjoyed it, and learned a lot. Thanks!

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Thank you!

[@Fren-m3i]

Queer was the first slur I ever remember being directed at me. It felt like a threat, it caused me to spend the day inside where I might feel a little bit safer. After spending too long in the closet I have finally come out. I'm here, I'm queer, I'm used to it. As a bi/pan person it was kind of easy for me to pass as het, but once I realized I was trans it was just time to come out, about everything. These days I'm proud of my queer life, my queer body, and my queer friends and peers.

[@mr.cauliflower3536]

I think having such a nick on youtube is not the best, considering youtube is literally 1984 and you can't say anything, let alone "hey [your nick]".

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Wait can you not say Trash? I did have that problem on certain apps that wouldn't let me use it as my name.

[@mr.cauliflower3536]

@@Trash-Garbage-Trash I do not trust KZbin not to delete my comment. I had comments deleted for less.

[@SkyeID]

I don't like it when people call me that word. I won't use it, because that word reminds me of traumatic events. I prefer MOGAI, since it's easier to say than LGBTQIA2S+.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

I like MOGAI, I think it's a very good term. But it never really fully caught on even among the community. To me that makes it sort of difficult to use it when discussing community-wide issues as most people don't really even know what it is. Terminology is always changing and updating in the community so I think MOGAI could catch on eventually, that would be cool.

[@SkyeID]

@@Trash-Garbage-Trash unrelated, but it would be cool if your channel blew up! More people need to hear what you have to say. I make KZbin videos about being trans, nonbinary, and black, but since I'm a teeny tiny fish in a large ocean, my channel barely gets any attention. I hope we both blow up, and people hear what we have to say.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

@@SkyeID Oh wow, thank you! I hope so too, though my content isn't monetizable so I doubt it will! I hope yours gets traction too!

[@SkyeID]

@@Trash-Garbage-Trash I'm too small to be monetized. All I can hope for is to get a shout-out from one of the larger creators I chit-chat with.

[@Amyisnthere-u9i]

The more we use “slurs” I feel like the more numb they become who decided these things were offensive it’s so stupid in my opinion but because I’m a respectful human being I’m not gonna go around saying slurs so don’t take it that way

[@Sentientmatter8]

You're only gonna say a slur if you mean to say one. Meanwhile, if you won't say queer, you are literally refusing to say my identify, which forget insulting, is marginalizing. It is marginalizing to refuse to voice my identify.

[@CraftyVegan]

I mean, if there are people who genuinely identify as queer, it’s not a slur. Let’s try to keep in mind that the people who we want to respect are the ones who *aren’t* using queer as a slur, so their usage is by default the correct usage. Let’s not forget that in the 90’s, “gay” was used as a slur by edgy teens and young adults. Reclaiming words is far more powerful and much more helpful to the movement than bowing to hate and being scared to say a word because a mean person said it in a hateful way 🤨 Obviously don’t throw it around at anyone who still isn’t comfortable with it, but, and I can’t stress this enough, when it comes to calling people what they want to be called, it’s not about you. You can choose to identify how you like and people should definitely respect your choices, ie not wanting to be called queer, but that also means that others that make the decision to identify as queer should get the same respect of their identity as you get from them.

[@brockreynolds870]

Yes it is a slur. The entire reason we picked gay in the first place is because at it's root, it means "happy"... "queer" means odd or strange. Just because a bunch of autisitc zoomers decided to make it "Trendy", doesn't make it not a slur.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Yeah but those kids are reclaiming it. The same way we've reclaimed other slurs. And I fully support that. I absolutely understand some people don't feel good about it though.

[@LuluTheCorgi]

I'm definitely odd and strange and Hella queer Nice ableism there btw, real cool

[@sezzac155]

But I am strange. I have been called 'strange' or 'weird' because of my interests, being a geek and all. I'm not autistic nor a zoomer so if you haven't stopped with the ableism and ageism yet maybe do that now. A lot of LGBTQA+ people are not even happy, a lot of us are tired and frustrated because we need to deal with homophobia, transphobia, biphobia and acephobia on a daily basis. And that's not even getting into things like racism and misogyny. Also if we are talking about meanings of terms to a lot of straight cisgender people, "gay" means a man who is attracted to another man. And i'm not either, a lot of us aren't and/either. If you are gay you might have a different definition which is fine. But if so, I want to tell you and point out to you that you are using the same tactic as those who hate you, you just have a different target.

[@brockreynolds870]

@@sezzac155 Those of us who are gay and over a certain age are the one who don't like the word "queer". So YOU are being ageist as well by using it.

[@sezzac155]

@@brockreynolds870 You must be over 35 then. Look, I know. I’m a Millennial, I watched the first Queer Eye when it was on prime time TV. I understand that show had its problems relying on stereotypes but it also did a lot to normalise the word ‘Queer’. And helped people accept gays. I witnessed while not necessarily being part of it the Bisexuals reclaiming Queer because they got hate from both gays and straights for being either “too straight” or “too gay”. I only got comfortable with using it when I discovered I am asexual. The whole entire point of the word ‘queer’ is to challenge the assumption that being strange, being odd, being LGBTQ+ or even being autistic is bad. Why is it bad? Because you said so? What are you, a cop?

[@fangedwolf0738]

I personally love the term "queer", and some of it is because of what it used to mean. I'm neurodivergent, gay, ace, a trans demiboy, demi-romantic and a femboy, and if society thinks I'm "strange" or "odd", the hell yeah, I'll be queer until the end of time, and be proud to be a weirdo :3

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

I fully support the weirdo community!

[@alexandriatempest]

I've always been Queer, but i thought i was just a "good ally" 😂 Now i know better 🎉 If you're not Queer, thats fine, but i am 😊

[@thothheartmaat2833]

CAN YOU TAKE ME ON A GAY TOUR?

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

A gay tour where I live would not be very long lol

[@aotctd]

Why are you styled like how we grew up ?

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

I'm not sure what this means but I get most of my clothes from people throwing their old clothes away (literally the garbage) or thrift stores and I dress mostly for comfort. My hair is looking especially Karenesque in this video, I very much need to trim it.

[@dustind4694]

It's ours now. The word is ours. Take off running with it.

[@dustind4694]

Don't use it if you don't like it, though. Just... More in general.

[@DevonPhoenix]

nice jacket

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Thank you lol

[@JoyceyQueen]

i love being queer and all my queer siblings!!

[@calelkestifer3570]

finally, we've solved the "all inclusive label" problem. so... when do we collectively remember that the original rainbow flag was meant to be all inclusive too and stop making all these new/other ones? I'm serious, there's so many and they're all functionally pointless and people keep making more

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

The kids making their own online aren't hurting anyone.

[@bmay282]

Queer is a useful word, more so than the alphabet soup label.. the F word was used as the slur in my experience .. It's just nuts trying to say lgbtqia+ in conversations.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Yeah it's really clunky.

[@1976Copper]

"Gay" is essentialist; I am not Gay. I am "Queer" by choice.

[@gollossalkitty]

EXACTLY BRO IM NOT GAY IM QUEER

[@MidSizedSusquatch]

Q🙋🏻‍♀️

[@pennyforyoureyes521]

I have nothing intelligent to say except, Trash, I lurv u ❤ (simping hard)

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Thank you!

[@Jiian]

I identify as ????? but dudish ;) For real, I kinda like the word queer, even though I am old enough it was a slur used for me back in the day. (as was gay, which was never accurate) Also, I know I know. I am watching all of your stuff now that I found you because stupid fan things.

[@NimsChannel]

My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year. But, you guys worry too much about labels and stuff. People nowadays want to label themselves before they're out of kindergarten. Its the age old, "what job would you like to have". Everyone has ideas but I never thought someone in school should be making life decisions like that, half of the kids in class would probably die or become junkies anyways. But, be what you want to be - but dont get surprised when the process of fate takes you the opposite direction. That being said I'm sort of ambiguous by nature. But im not interested in taking a stand because it doesnt matter.

[@thothheartmaat2833]

im queer.... AND IM A WIIIIIITCH!!!!!!

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Hell yeah.

[@normanknutsen8253]

What about people who have been victims of hate crimes where queer was yelled at them? I would say that would be a good reason not to like a word.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Yeah, as I say in the video, if someone doesn't want to be called queer, don't call them queer. But they can't then police other people's language for their own identities.

[@LuluTheCorgi]

I've been physically attacked while being called the f Word, gay, a drag queen, the t word, the other t word, leftist- green tick (this is a weird german thing), communist I'm very politically active in Germany, especially in the anti fascist scene so I got beaten up and verbally harassed a lot during the last decade If I stopped using all the words that where used against me in hate crimes there would be no words left to use to describe myself

[@greyblories7894]

also you give Elliot Page vibes you sound just like him

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

That's so funny! Before he transitioned I used to get told I looked like him and now I'm getting it again! I always thought it was just that we were both really short but you can't see that in this video lol

[@greyblories7894]

@@Trash-Garbage-Trash You've got similar accents. Are you from Nova Scotia perhaps? Or nearabouts?

[@ashwinniamat8560]

no, queer is a political orientation and not and identity. So it means actually nothing. This is according to the first definition which you can read in Saint Foucault.

[@blueca]

1. political orientations and identities are not mutually exclusive. a term can easily be both. if someone calls themself a communist, they are identifying as a communist. 2. since when is the first definition of any term the truest definition? language is not and has never been static. it is the nature of language to evolve and adapt over time, and in modern times, it does so faster than ever. 3. you can pretend that "queer" means as much or as little as you want, but language is given power by how it is used and how it is understood. i can say that im queer, and you can understand that i mean that i do not fall within western societal norms of gender and/or sexuality. it's not 1995 anymore. the meaning has changed.

[@daviddambrosio8247]

In my community, 'queer' is most popular among women who are entirely compatible with heterosexuality. Essentially, we're talking about soccer moms. No shade on these women, but _actual homosexuals_ aren't being assimilationist when we don't see a commonality with them. A minority shouldn't have to accommodate the majority with how we describe ourselves, even if the majority wants so bad to experience the marginalization we had to contend with. My problem with the word isn't because it may mean 'weird' but because STRAIGHT people absolutely love using it for themselves.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

This seems like biphobia with extra steps.

[@daviddambrosio8247]

@@Trash-Garbage-Trash Men getting with women and women getting with men is not stigmatized anywhere in the world. Please don’t try to frame homosexuality and support for gay rights as some sort of bigotry.

[@nursejoed]

Ah. The arrogance of people shoving their linguistic preferences down other people's throats. Some folks don't like the word. Leave them the f alone.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

Did you even watch the video though?

[@0celot8]

If you say queer is a slur that means you use it as one.

[@21stcenturyshowgirl]

plenty of queer straight women. how dare you people weaponise words that belong to all of us.