Is Taking Character Actions PERSONALLY The Reason New Players Quit?

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

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[@AmaryInkawult]

If there isn't a flavor called Goblin Gurglewater then I ain't buying

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

@ honestly that would be a funny flavor name. I’m not quite at that level yet for my own flavor but here is to hoping 🤞

[@Subject_Keter]

​@@lootgoblinmarketplace bro knows what goblins tastes like 💀

[@herrhartmann3036]

I feel like Sax could have done quite a lot to avoid most of these problems ahead of time. If he's really such an experienced player, he should have been able to tell Lucy - out of game and in private - what exactly the problems were between the group and herself. I suspect that he was afraid of telling his girlfriend that it was she who was doing something wrong. He tried so hard to avoid any conflict with her, that he allowed her conflict with the group to fester and boil over.

[@Subject_Keter]

I had partners who were tinderboxes and where the type that would not take anything bad.. especially me sometimes xox I personally would say ya nah to them and myself if i was acting that bad.

[@SammaclauseGamgee]

The jumping off the ship thing reminds me a lot of something Id see in something like Slayers, which is an anime meant to kind of parody D&D parties. I agree, its pretty funny....if it doesnt happen over and over

[@gimmeyourrights8292]

Most of the issues of this story could've been solved if there was some better communication between the OP and Lucy, it's the fact that he calls her "Luny Lucy" and calls everything she did Chaotic Stupid tells me that he's not the most reliable narrator while Lucy kept blurring the line between reality and fantasy.

[@TheMightyBattleSquid]

15:00 tbh Lucy doesn't sound like the problem yet. With the water snakes, OP didn't say "I can save him more easily if i don't need to save you." He said "Sax can handle himself." Both ingame and out of game that is not what anyone wanted to hear. Then, for the weapon, I've even done this and more in-game but my table ran with it. OP said it themselves, the sword isn't actually cursed, it can't force actions. It just makes suggestions as a sentient piece of metal. So the OP forcing her to drop it here is more of an issue to me than Lucy keeping it. 16:07 yeah, now it's squarely a Lucy issue. But, like Loot Goblin says at the end, it sounds like we're missing context. Even OP says (claims?) they don't remember what happened to set this off. So we're left with an out of nowhere demand to essentially remove OP's character from the game. Even if OP is the problem, you gotta just remove a player or leave yourself if it gets that far. No sense making someone you hate come into each game night to mean mug you from across the table. Her leaving afterwards was the best choice.

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Yeah, I feel like the first few parts definitely weren’t given the benefit of the doubt because in the end they did quit, but I totally would have loved that dramatic rescue attempt by a clumsy character who is attempting to save a much more competent swimmer from drowning.

[@absolutfx]

I've heard this one before and honestly I think OP is probably ultimately the problem here. He admits that he is crass and loud. She was probably not great either, but she obviously was growing real hatred towards OP for various reasons.

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Yeah, I do feel like too much context was left out or forgotten. I do like that they acknowledge there is a chance that she was simply also trying to be a comedic relief and it just was shunned more than his antics as he reflected on it, but I could see a scenario where Lucy wrote a horror story and this guy was the lead. I think this campaign could have been saved with just some honest discussion among friends.

[@Subject_Keter]

I say based off what she did.. she sounds like the issue. Just because there a bias to hang any op for "posting bias" doesnt excuse wankers.

[@averagejoe6352]

@@Subject_Keterthey both sound like wankers. Woudnt want to play with either of em

[@absolutfx]

@ They can both suck :D

[@Lellofiys]

I wonder whats your favourite plane of existence? My tis the Plane Of Shadow, i just loooooooovvvvveeeeeee the undead. Especially WRAITHS!

[@TheMightyBattleSquid]

Ironically the raven queen who rules that plane doesn't like undead and tells her followers to kill them 😅

[@Lellofiys]

@@TheMightyBattleSquid Lol

[@Lellofiys]

@@TheMightyBattleSquid She should of just found an uninhabited island in the Astral Plane that was away from Githyanki and Githzerai

[@nathanaelcook6683]

15:44 Can confirm that annoying characters are not bad characters! I played a paladin-coded fighter who was constantly trying to get everyone to stop stealing, lying, cheating, running away, etc. It definitely led to some in character butting heads, but never out of character. When he died (a surprise to the rest of the party), one of the players whose character I'd clashed with a lot came and said he was one of her favorite characters so far.

[@SamLabbato]

this is typically how most dnd drama goes, and it's aaaaalll too common. I've had a few horror stories myself, sure, but the constant annoyance of how someone plays or constant disruption only to end in a fizzle is super common. a lot of the time, behind the scenes, people will talk about seemingly minor things at the time, then explode them into huge issues, but instead of bringing it up and talking about it, either let it fester into an in game explosion or leave the game with some level of ooc fallout like we saw here.

[@YawdroGaming]

It's hard when people can't put personal stuff aside for the good of the table. Very unfortunate.

[@DonBraun-f3y]

Honestly sounds like a great campaign if the role play was more appreciated on both sides. Thanks for the video Goblin.

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Yeah, this feels like a missed opportunity for a great long term campaign.

[@Subject_Keter]

Person: It not my actions that cause people to not enjoy things! >instant nam flashbacks to that one guy who every word was praising mathfinder Also not embracing the lute goblin causes 100% of people who dont embrace it to die. 😮

[@toTheWatcher]

I agree we seem to be missing some context, but it sounds like OP was more meta gaming and Lucy was more RP. As i could see RP wise, why she did some of the things. In the end, she definitely was problematic, but probably only coming to be with her BF as she clearly wasn't enjoying it anymore if she was shutting down.

[@MrRevilnemesis]

I do still believe that Lucy has some fault even if she was antagonized. She had to be talked out of hindering the party multiple times OOC, insisting on keeping a blood thirsty living sword with honestly feeling like she'd harm other party members to keep it happy, and demanding that OP's character be bound and gagged otherwise she'd leave the party. While there might be missing context, none of those would look good even if OP was in reality was kind of antagonistic.

[@BEETSSOLO]

Had the opposite happen unfortunately, Was playing an Aassimar artificer/fighter with a group full of new players. I am in no way a veteran in DnD but I've played through a few campaigns. I played my character as an Aassimar with issues of religion to the point of them being an atheist in defiance of their deity but since they still ended up doing what was asked of them in the end they had not become a fallen Aassimar, I wanted their journey to be about accepting themselves and coming to terms with the responsibility of an Aassimar. I had informed my Dm and the group beforehand just to let them no I might act a bit mean if any of them were playing clerics or paladins, so i thought it would be fine. Our grouped consisted of a barbarian, a bard me and......... 3 clerics. So we would role play and my character would be dismissive whenever one of the clerics talked about their deity. The only conflict in my eyes were when one of the clerics, which shared deity with my character, tried to convert me to their viewpoint. When i had said no a few times and they still kept going I asked to throw a bucket of water at them, DM allowed it and they got splashed. The clerics of the table just started saying it was not ok that i did it and seemed pretty pisst. This was in session one so did not think much of it. A few sessions later I see I've been removed from the group chat. I asked the DM what was up and he just told me that the group had taken a vote on whether or not I should keep playing with them. The bard and barbarian had voted for me to stay and i think you can do the rest of the math. the people who played clerics said, they felt uncomfortable with me as a person because they thought i had genuine beef with their characters. It was a bit sad to hear because we were going back to my characters village in the upcoming session so I had hoped to really make some progress on their arc together with the rest of the group. Even dumber looking back at it i wished they had just pulled me aside earlier and said they'd like for me tone down a bit on my characters attitude towards theirs, you know like actual adults....

[@JRRR92]

Yeah, those were not your friends. You're much better off without them.

[@ParaNoid816]

I tried to get into the tabletop community... and stopped immediately. My main complaint is that some folks don't differentiate between the fantasy world... and the real world. I was getting disrespected IRL based on actions that happen in the imagination. I used to be a thug. A criminal. I don't take kindly to disrespect. ESPECIALLY over something I didn't actually do.

[@lighthadoqdawg]

Yeah, you sound like someone that probably wouldn't stick to tabletop RPGs well. this reads very anti-social. what would be the line between "disrespect" and being asked to stop doing what you're doing in character? and you obviously know how it feels to be disrespected IRL. do you think it's a proportional escalation to go there over a game?

[@JRRR92]

​​@@lighthadoqdawg op literally said he got attacked irl, he's not the issue. What do you mean what is the line? You mean the line between make believe and reality? You're part of the problem.

[@fallabeaufaebelle]

As someone who enjoys romantasy, I can see where Lucy got some misplaced expectations. Sounds like she thought the table was a chance to live out an epic fantasy romance with her bf complete with campy romantic scenes (like drowning) and an antagonist for her "female MC" aka how she'd see the Fighter who became Lucy's character's foil. So she clung extra hard to Sax and didn't have much of a character personality or story beyond that, leading to eventually feeling "unimportant" at the table. And sounds like OP unintentionally fed into that problem. Talking to the DM after the bloodsword thing would've prolly been the best course of action here. Lucy seems inexperienced and little awkward, so her character came out flat. Prolly why she felt undervalued is she wanted to feel important and instead she was shot down because what she wanted and the goal of the table didn't line up. Like with the sword, she might've thought this would've been a cool character arc moment, especially how heavy she leaned into the "this is my only friend" thing. But when no one bit and then buried the sword, it probably made her feel like the party didn't want her character to have the spotlight. Which isn't true and something she should've talked to the DM and Sax about. They could've helped her build something so she could feel like her character was benefitting the party and had her own story separate from Sax.

[@ChrisHarperBooks]

Honestly sounds like their personalities didn't mesh out of game, so whenever she did something it just rubbed the OP the wrong way. And not going to lie, it kinda feels like the OP was a little annoyed that she was trying to be the funny character and he had already taken that spot for himself. His little jab about how at least he knew when to be funny was a bit revealing. These people should have had like one single conversation oit of game to try and find a way to coexist (or maybe one of them just leave). Instead it sounds like the OP just stewed in his anger for years...which did neither of them any good.

[@Subject_Keter]

I say nah, he described his bits as actually funny while she was like "I lick bald baby heads" and the kinda of stuff people dont like. I got a thing where I want to convert people into robots to make them better, because i find another person who likes it doesnt mean I get to do it to others. Also bro she had her the motive and choice but did n o t h i n g. 😂

[@gimmeyourrights8292]

The real horror of this story is the lack of communication from both parties.

[@JackieM00se]

KZbin somehow unsubscribed me, resubbed

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Welcome back! Yeah, occasionally that happens to me too and I get confused why YT does that.

[@Plight_]

I listened to this story before A real shame that magic sword 🗡️ was Imagine being given a magic item and then your party robs you of it. Not sure why the DM would allow that, why introduce the sword in the first place? Did he just decide to improv a evil magical talking sword? The sword could've been a useful vehicle to strengthen the party's relationship. Such as have the sword be the soul of an ancient hero that felt like she didn't belong. The party can demonstrate that Lucy is valued and they are her friends. Instead they did exactly the opposite Seems like it was little communication in game and above table. Most of this was preventable.

[@JRRR92]

You mean a sword that can at any moment attack and kill the group? No, only an idiot would want that.

[@Plight_]

@JRRR92 if that was truly the case this story just comes down to a bad DM. He set up a scenario that only served to create player conflict. "Here's a cool talking sword that's going to kill you completely unprompted, no foreshadowing, no wisdom saves to halt it's influence, nothing " ???

[@finrothsmith7995]

To tell this truth, this sounds like a miss handling and the author seems a bit sensitive and overly serious. Now I am a GM of over 30 years, and I can tell you, 20 of those years, I was not the best around. So I am not going to judge the GM too harshly. In my current campaign, I have two new players, and they have had their growing pains, but they are really getting very good. The entire group role plays their characters well, and they are a bunch of extremely different and often diametrically opposed characters. Between them all we have a few with enough angst you could cut yourself on the edge, one absolute chaos creature who is cruel and difficult (but has reluctantly been growing softer), one with a criminal pasts they wish didnt happen, another raised by a druid cult, and a celestial whose innocence is hilarious. I actually feel bad for the fighter, he is just a normal guy. And we all stich that into a story. Any one of these would be considered difficult. And more than once has led to bad situations. But by having a table open to conversation, and me always being supportive and their to talk to, we have been going on 3 years now and it is the best game I have had the fortune of being in. And it has not all been easy sailing either. Players have felt a situation was unfair or some content was not to their liking, and so they contacted me and we chatted and resolved it. For one of my new players, there was a situation she had felt pigeon holed into a bad ending. I talked to them, explained the Meta story, how it had actually been an interesting combination of an actual situation in a bought adventure module coinciding with her characters background and needs. I assured her that nothing was beyond repair and I would never allow a character to actually suffer a random nasty and pointless ending, without an out, and explained to her how she could look at the situation to resolve it. And really TLDR, just talk to people, make sure everyone is on board, and encourage acceptance. A hell of a lot more fun than the minmax group that sweats their way to the end.

[@Subject_Keter]

Those gamer sups flavors are what they feed to those hostile dms 😂

[@rukeyazu8669]

Is there a term for the opposite of rpg horror stories? I’d like to hear some of those…

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

I have a playlist of rpg glory stories, not as much of those going around though

[@th3classyPANDA1]

here me out. OP liked sax romantically and the friend group knew that so they let OP passively bully lucy till lucy and her bf left the game.

[@JacobL228]

7:50 You repeated part of the sentence.

[@shocknawe]

15:37 - This.

[@user-te5nh3li3f]

7:44 edition error

[@SoulSoundMuisc]

I've said it before and I will say it forever. 1: Always vet your players to ensure they are a good fit for you as a DM/GM/Ref and the rest of your group. Do not budge. Do not make exceptions; you only invite problems later. 2: Never, ever, ever let someone who cannot separate Fantasy from Reality occupy the gaming space with you. Ever. They have no business Roleplaying what-so-ever, do NOT belong in the hobby and require *therapy* not D&D. 3: Be an adult. Communicate. Have conversations. If you cannot do those things, YOU have no business leading a game of make-pretend.

[@littleskitters]

I disagree with #2, roleplay has to be taught and learned. People who learn in toxic ways also affect gameplay. Either you hold their hand or someone else has to in order to teach how the group opperates. When communication isn't clear during this very first step, that's everyone at the table's fault who agreed to teach the new player.

[@SoulSoundMuisc]

@@littleskitters I am not talking about someone who needs to learn how to play. I am talking about someone who cannot tell the difference between FANTASY and REALITY. That is a hard no. Knowing the difference between fantasy and reality is BASIC HUMAN BEHAVIOR and has nothing to do with other players. Nothing you say, no mental gymnastics, no word circle nonsense is going to change that fact. People who cannot distinguish FAKE MAKE PRETEND from REAL LIFE have zero business in the hobby.

[@AmaryInkawult]

Seventh

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Nice

[@MegMegal-k1i]

this story reeks of OP not realizing how misogyny works or how his words/actions affect the women around him. if you can be hyper-analytical and critical of everything a woman does but not even REMEMBER what you did to upset her, then you're either hiding something or stupid

[@pictonomii3295]

Yep, women can never do anything wrong./s

[@TashiTingdzin]

real

[@SammaclauseGamgee]

"signaled out"? A verbal typo? Is this an AI?

[@Sylvia568]

No, no it is not, he just fucked up a word, he does that.

[@simplyblauw6928]

Not an AI but he sure talks quite soulless and monotone.

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Yeah just me stuttering over that line and not noticing how bad i butchered it. I don’t use AI, I’m just a bit monotone.

[@g42human]

​@@lootgoblinmarketplace Nah, not monotone, constant.

[@SammaclauseGamgee]

@lootgoblinmarketplace oh, ok. Sorry if that was rude. Edit: to clarify, if it was an AI, I was going to be very impressed. I really was just wondering.