Is there Still Hope of getting YOUR AVOIDANT EX back

[@rambojohnj.6117]

For avoidants, the grass is always greener on the other side. Avoidants float in space but want the world. You give them the world, and they want space.

[@Ckyt572]

This is SO spot on. It's impossible to reach their standards.

[@GenericNintendoKid]

Wow. Spot on.

[@cynthiadesimone1668]

My avoidant doesn't know he's an avoidant. We are in 100% no contact. Will he reach back out to me, only to have this all repeat again?

[@rambojohnj.6117]

@@cynthiadesimone1668 Don’t do it.

[@rambojohnj.6117]

@@cynthiadesimone1668 If you truly believe he is, avoid and save yoursef pain. My avoidant, after over a year of no contact, and blocking my #, came back 2 months ago asking if I wanted to see a movie. I did, we went to eat after, and she left. She couldn’t wait to see me the following weekend, or she jumped my bones, told me I was the greatest person in the world, told me she made the biggest mistake in the world, she didn’t want to really end it at that time, and she hopes that I’ll give her another chance. Told all friends and fam we were getting back together. Told me of her 5yr plan of buying a house together and getting married. That lasted maybe about a month, and one argument, the first argument we ever had, ever, on the phone, which was more like a disagreement, haven’t heard back since and it’s been a few weeks. She’s gone again. And she wonders why I told her “it’s going to take TIME for me to build trust in you again after leaving me outta the blue for good the first time.” Gotcha this time, bitch.

[@tredd9019]

Why do Avoidants come on so strong then, in the first place, only to run away when you give them exactly what they were seeking? Bizarro world.

[@mkwhole]

Straight up

[@sarahgirl1111]

It is because they do not like being advoidant but that is how they are natured. This is my theory so they try but cannot as well.

[@daisysen642]

They are seeking for shit which they actually deserve 🤣🤣

[@meandmy3eshab692]

Keep asking him and myself this very same thing.

[@rideoutlondon]

Because they don’t want to be that way but can’t help it

[@fitzbournejack9283]

Let exes stay where they are. Especially the ones that walked away thinking they'll do better

[@benithacalloway8286]

Child 😂

[@edc9897]

If they dumped you, you have to detach and let go. It's time to focus on yourself.. If you get better, they will reach out and see what that's all about at some point in the future, so remember this: If/when this opportunity comes, they will just be another option for you. Don't waste the pain. Get working on yourselves.

[@davidcoppotelli3957]

True Words right here. Don't worry about Chasing Women. Chase this instead $$$$$$$ with a Smile on your Face.

[@DeemMeBeautiful]

Exactly! It always takes me awhile to let go and get to this point but I can say I am finally there. Dived into focusing on myself heavily today!

[@irenewanjiru3846]

True

[@XIGHTS101]

Amen

[@susanrudge2349]

My avoidant ex came bk after three and a half months Just leave them alone give them time & space.

[@Bluepearl187]

Will be trying this starting tomorrow.

[@pchellamuthu4177]

​@@Bluepearl187update

[@Luemastouch]

I didn’t know my ex is an avoidant until I came across this video . He ghosted me all of a sudden broke up with me for no reason. I feel so terrible as I have never been treated like that in my whole life. What confused me is one minute he wants me the next he is not sure for 3 days now I am so down…

[@zoekabowee]

Thank you

[@komissa3674]

it because if you broke his or her heart,even if he comes back,he will never be the same anymore

[@Rambo4President]

You really have to let go. We broke up 2 weeks ago and I decided to invite a new chick from tinder to my place just today. I couldn’t even get it up because I missed my ex’s kisses, skin, smell, taste, just everything. Too attached still. Not that easy to let go though!

[@jamie-r2034]

2 weeks after a 12 year long relationship, I had a one nighter and it felt so weird to me. It was nice but I couldn't truly enjoy it and decied after that I need to just be by myself for awhile. I need to find myself again after my ex broke my heart again. It's a vicious cycle. When things are good, they are great but it never lasts

[@ke1tor]

I spent 14 years with one, and I was so totally confused by her behavior. 2 years later and with my new found understanding of her, I understand that there isn't anything I can do than just "be".

[@zoekabowee]

Thank you for this testimony

[@willow_pillow]

As a person with a disorganized attachment style I know both sides of the story. The anxious and the avoident are equally afraid of being hurt. The anxious seeks closeness and validation to feel safe, just as the other attachment style seeks peace in their own company to feel safe. There must be communication and honesty on both sides. "They have to change, pointing outwards" does nothing for anyone

[@princessharrison3038]

Thanks for explaining it this way… interesting 👍🏽

[@benithacalloway8286]

I learned something today. Thanks. It’s gonna be a long journey to fix that and a lot of coaching day by day when it comes for an avoidant to change and to be relaxed.😊🙏🏽

[@DanSarbz]

What’s good coach! My ex left me last September and I’m doing everything I can to level up. Your vids are a big help

[@charliegistmusic]

Wow September same here bro. I know how it feels man. Keep fighting !!

[@tysonmcvicar3829]

My DA ex destoryed my mental health. I tried to show up 150% as the best partner in the world for her, and that got me broken up. "I can't give you what you need. You deserve someo e who can reciprocate the love you and effort you give" ect. Coming up 3 month NC and thinking about her each day, but its getting easier to see that actually i did deserve better all along

[@bebisibeb]

literally broke up with my DA gf yesterday. trying not to go crazy as an anxious already...

[@abcdaamazoniaa]

did she come back?

[@tysonmcvicar3829]

Yes, she did after almost 6 months and when I posted a story of my new women and I golfing. I didn't pursue it though, but she gave me the closure I wanted but never thought I'd get.

[@abcdaamazoniaa]

@@tysonmcvicar3829 she did only after you posted with your new woman?

[@mikewalters5052]

Great topic and wording. Getting them back and getting them to stay.

[@DetroitNative313]

I don't even want her back now honestly. She can stay over there where she at!

[@shawny979]

My thoughts exactly. Stay over there!

[@LEOBOI-79]

Ok....ok been married almost 16 yrs, having this same problem now!!! Her being an avoidant is an understatement!!! Ive started to take the time to work on myself and, putting in lots of work. Ive always tried to be that stand up man, father, husband! So the topic of separation came about recently! At first I was chasing,,,,,,, I mean doing all the simping, pleading, guilt trips I have to say,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it got me NOWHERE!!!! Have started the NC. What should I look for? Signs, actions etc????

[@Noog6284]

Never ever go back

[@Cluedup2399]

Honestly guys you don't want a avoidant in your life.

[@jtothec1234]

Coach, I've been seeing other videos though that say an avoidant won't come back. That there is a period/stage were they eventually move on, especially if you use no contact. If there is silence for so long, they will move on and apparently they tend to not reach out.

[@MsPatriot420]

By the time I had a clue what was wrong with the man we were broken up. According to one enabling therapist on KZbin there could never be any disagreements and you basically needed to understand and tread lightly when you were on the roller coaster and they were suddenly nowhere in sight since, once again, they needed space in a romantic relationship. Forget YOUR needs. Even if you had expressed them you had definitely done it wrong. You were also very much to blame when you didn't know something because they didn't communicate it whatsoever and your attempt to clarify was perceived as being disagreeable. I have watched a million videos about this mental condition and I'm sure he has it. To say he doesn't know is not true. HE KNOWS. So- all I get from this is that there is no hope. That's great. As Christians we both know there are very few real possibilities in dating world and we were a very unique match.

[@Flufero23]

As a 70% secure and 30% FA who was recently monkey branched after four years by my FA ex, I would never want to be in a relationship again with an avoidant. I like my space, too, so I guess that's the reason our relationship/situationship lasted so long. It's true, unless they are willing to put in the work to heal, it will not work. It's exhausting.

[@andreatorluemke4982]

Triple threat. Man! Backwards baseball cap. Glasses and guns? Damn that’s every weakness of mine rolled into one. Masculine and gentle. Thank your mama for me. Jesus. I can’t even listen to this one. Whatever pain brought you to this place of wisdom. Whatever woman taught you to love. Thank you so much! Happy Valentine’s Day (I’m going to say brother to keep it clean). Rock on

[@MamaMayEye04]

I love that u always thank us for tuning in Thank u for being so appreciative 💗♥️💙 Thank for your good advice to help us alone our journey!!!!!

[@meandmy3eshab692]

I just think I'm so disappointed and heart broken that idk if I have hope to allow him back and feel secure and genuinely happy as I once did when he came on strong just to cheat and have me talk it out and he said he wanted me. But that should've been my sign to just had let it go.

[@Hex_Hub_Plus]

Damn... I think you have to let that man go if he cheated... Cheating is a choice.

[@davem3708]

Well said. Dealing with this issue with a woman I feel hard for. We dated for 8 months. Very odd ending to a relationship. Been no contact for 2 months

[@lukaszpasternak3427]

Did she come back?

[@davem3708]

@@lukaszpasternak3427 nope. Gave up . Reaching out a couple times by text. And no response moving on

[@Autohousekoupe]

Im wondering same. I have same story. Dated for 7 monyhs and it was so good and so intimate. It ended so abruptly and ive now hot anxiety and on meds. It was so hot and cold and asking to communicate only pushed her further to the point she left….😢

[@uniquedavenport]

​@@Autohousekoupestop blaming yourself first off..people who have anxious attachment style are the first to put all the blame on themselves.. you didn't know any better, avoidants are simply wired to be avoidant unfortunately,and they were like this long before you came in the picture weather they themselves realize or admit (a lot of them will gaslight their experiences and their partners but not purposely like narcissist) it's a trauma response they have of "I am defective" wound that they suffer from, and until they get down to the root and cause they will unfortunately continue to operate on auto pilot and not even recognize when they are deactivating on the people who love and care for them it's a self sabotaging manifestation they cycle in over and over until they get it..the best thing you can do for the BOTH of y'all is focus on yourself forgive yourself for not knowing better and eventually forgive him or her too which is really hard for anxious people especially sense avoidants tend to leave their partners blindsided and no logical closure which seems cruel,cold snd cowardly..all you can do is move with grace dont reach out and 100 percent focus on YOU avoidants are catalyst for teaching anxious about SELF LOVE which is something we need anxious people often give their all and everything in relationships and then get disappointed when the same energy that is not returned it is important to figure out WHO YOU ARE TOO so please keep this in mind!..hope this helps a little bit

[@jodijodi6228]

It’s so mentally damaging… the subtle push & pull. My x & I had the most loving relationship & best friend vibe…. After 6.5 years & 3 annual conversations about ‘ where do u see us going in commitment / marriage” abrubtly ended because full commitment was too overwhelming. I feel so damaged confused & literally LOST … redefining my life & now in therapy for it 😢

[@jonathanhouck180]

Y’all should just move on . Don’t even think about this other person . Go about your life . They probably slurping up someone else right now as we speak so go do you !

[@egoispower]

The problem is going no contact for so long just gives extra chances for them to end up hooking up with others

[@Alieortwo]

Be glad they are making someone else crazy😂

[@egoispower]

@@Alieortwo I wouldn't wish it on either of the two parties tbh lol

[@Alieortwo]

@@egoispower ah well this demons brings grows into the light 😂

[@PB-md3nt]

Let them be someone else's reason for waking up at 3am every night in anxiety over what THEY did but somehow you are responsible for.

[@giomig24]

Doubt she'll come back. Begged and pleaded for 3 weeks . Ultimately she decided to move to another city away from me. No choice this time but to go no contact and move on

[@CiluhStyle1]

Yea I told my ex what she was delsongnqith and she denied everything Theres no hope with a person who doesn't wnat to be self aware to get help... I think I'll make my peace with that...

[@phillipmennor2585]

Hi! Like how straight to the point your content is. My ex recently broke up with me after I said some mean things to her and blocked my phone number and on social media. It was the only time I said hurtful things to her. Any advice on how to win her back or can you post a video on how to do so?

[@moonlightprincess449]

Dude saying he want space I just gave him space like 1-2 weeks now he saying I nonstop text and blowing up his phone like he don’t act how he did in the beginning smh he was such a gentleman

[@lke4907]

If my guy ever said that to me, I'd be like.. find a better woman who doesn't bother you as much. Bye dude!

[@susangore7571]

Divorce is never the way out, My husband and I was having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser, I can never just let my marriage of 18years crash.

[@eliweffer3006]

Beautiful,I am kinda in a similar situation, how did you handle it

[@susangore7571]

well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer who help me out.

[@eliweffer3006]

please how can i reach out to her i really need her help

[@susangore7571]

her name is Eliana Zaituna Hernandez,and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster you can look her name up online and you will find all you need instantly.

[@eliweffer3006]

I just reached out thank you very much

[@andreatorluemke4982]

Now you’re teaching me stuff! This video man. Whatever you did the night before this. Do that again. Haha. I have had to stop the video and not continue 2x now

[@komissa3674]

to me am not one in a million,am once in a lifetime

[@lxrdceejuniior4515]

I have been in NO CONTACT for like two months, since she broke up with me. She is now dating an older guy who is like 4 or 5 years older than me who has money. But she is now trash talking me on her facebook page and sneak dissing.. Why is she doing that?

[@benithacalloway8286]

What did you do to her? She’d still not over you. Stay with no contact and do you. Soon or later she’ll realize what she missed.

[@lxrdceejuniior4515]

@@benithacalloway8286 during the days when our relationship was still good and wonderful, some unknown female (which i dont know till this day) leaked some information about me involving girls that i used to communicate with before we decided to get in a relationship (which i honestly till this day on god never did i ever cheat). During the last few months before our break she kept on saying i had GIRLFRIENDS!! (im still confused even now because she was my only girlfriend) so i thought maybe she was just looking for a way out so she can carry on with the older guy. She then dumped me, thats it..

[@benithacalloway8286]

Update please

[@uniquedavenport]

She sounds more narcissistic than avoidant because avoidants like to run avoid hide they are typically NOT big social media people and usually don't do the whole drama thing on social media because they don't like to draw that type of attraction to themselves.. some times avoidants get confused with narcissist because they share the same core wound and beliefs but they are very very different as to the reasons WHY they do what they do narcissist feed off of personally hurting other people, dismissive avoidents don't typically do that...

[@OiVinn-eq1ml]

Projection

[@skitzupshaw7009]

What about when someone else is in the picture

[@arianadebarros3652]

Fr why do they come on so strong mine came so strong telling me all this stuff and talking about how he couldn’t wait to see me being so sweet FaceTimed me while on vacation saying it’s been so long I look good he couldn’t wait and took me out on a date when he got back from vacation and I suggested we should end it because I wasn’t getting the communication he would watch my story’s but won’t message back so I suggested the breakup he agreed and told me it had nothing to do with me and I blew his phone up with messages and now I’m blocked on everything so I don’t understand

[@helenestyles6561]

I have learned alot from you. Thanks for being so real.🌷

[@yaasy77smart1]

U see if he come back after 5 month contact I’m give him pure hell cause of lies and wasting my time some people do go back and make things better 👍but that’s not for everybody my situation i couldn’t do it I’m a Leo who do for my man but once u said u don’t want me cause I pressure him after being with him for seven months then it’s over no looking back 😊but good advice and Valentine’s Day tomorrow imma pop me bottles and celebrate from being stress free

[@benithacalloway8286]

Update please

[@yaasy77smart1]

@@benithacalloway8286 hey no girl he never came call back we probably think about each other sometimes I’m not expecting him to come back I told him how I felt 6 months ago and keep it like that he was a Aquarius I invest my time in relationship and a person to tell me he don’t want to be with me one day then asking for sex the next plus he had financial issues and drinking problem I been there for him and he tried too but he know what he did it’s ok my heart was broken but u live and learn I work on myself and good things came out of it went to school working out keeping myself busy not getting to a relationship rn I got men asking me out but I declined cause focus on school and work for now 😊

[@benithacalloway8286]

@@yaasy77smart1 good job! Once you realize there’s no change after giving them a second chance the best thing is to sign out never sign back in . I’m happy for you. Keep working on your new version of you. Me the same just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m trying to get on my fret as we speak

[@yaasy77smart1]

@@benithacalloway8286 yes girl I don’t do second chances once I’m done I’m done don’t have time to play games it’s been 6 months it get lonely but when love come it comes if it doesn’t hey I’m stress free girl that’s why I tell people focus on u I mean if u really focus on u usually he come back but I wouldn’t even dare respond “BE THE BEAT VERSION OF U LUV”

[@rebeccaklingemann6625]

Absolutely love your platform.. I attempted to make a one on one appointment with you. Your appointment calendar is booked. Is there a way to book a appointment for August? Thank you, Rebecca.K

[@oneofakind2276]

He asked for space but text me everyday. I’m confused and it makes me sad because we abruptly went from talking all day every day to a single text/day. He refuses to consider my feelings

[@dhivyaske6234]

I loved a man..he left me day before my exams... currently he is in his training..he said several times I was torturing him.. whether he come back or not.?

[@Jeff-kq9vg]

Ex = exit when it comes with DA's and FA's leaning towards DA If they can't see their own value, how can they ever see the value in you......🚩

[@KendraWalker-z4t]

My ex left me over because of my son was a lil bad they child isn't he's but idk because he he's to much pride. and it's hard to go with out no contract wen we have a child together but only time I talk to him wen its bout the child

[@LorenaBerrenbaum]

I thought it was a joke when he said I'm dangerous for him😂

[@_krithika_k]

We were in a four year relationship,now we broke up,he has already left me once and came back after 5 months,i accepted,now again he left will he come back again?

[@francarr346]

If you do the NC chances are he will.

[@_krithika_k]

@@francarr346 we have been in no contact for 21 days,but is it okay to be with someone who leaves you and comes back esp when you question their mistakes

[@hanzohattiori1737]

Short answer is yes. But YOU MUST focus on you. When you work on healing, value your self-worth and practice no-contact is you best chance. But when you do all these things, you begin to ask the question "do I even want them back?".

[@_krithika_k]

@@hanzohattiori1737 how are you saying that he'll be back?

[@robertswift6101]

@@_krithika_k go no contact,,,let him miss you

[@istanbulcity.112.]

Thank you bro 🙏🏾

[@julietshadeo2418]

It is 5 months now no contact what can I do my ex don't won't to talk

[@benithacalloway8286]

Stay with no contact properly. Don’t chase don’t beg. Do you get busy later on he’s gonna get curious about you and if contacting you get back very slowly and calm. DONT ACT NEEDY. That’s attractive.

[@SevenClips__]

Broke up with my girl(mistakenly), now I'm asking her to get back to me, she said she needs space & she'll think about it but I violated it, now I think I've lost her forever

[@benithacalloway8286]

Update

[@oluwadamilolaoriade5426]

Thank you for your advice always

[@benithacalloway8286]

You’re so smart 😊 we need more details about how to keep them to stay. My ex avoidant called me on Valentine’s evening to say happy valentines. Please make a video about what does that mean for an ex to call you just to say happy Valentine’s day and talk a little about basic things. Thank you in advance🙌🏾🙏🏽😘

[@irenewanjiru3846]

Mine to yesterday sent me a text, saying happy valentine's my love

[@benithacalloway8286]

@@irenewanjiru3846 lol so confused 😂

[@irenewanjiru3846]

@@benithacalloway8286 am telling you 🤣

[@shawny979]

It means they're probably just lonely and checking to see if you’ll take the Breadcrumbs. Tread carefully.

[@nino_94]

Testing, loneliness and breadcrumbs all at the same time. Go no contact to focus on you

[@theyluvvcoco]

he's not avoidant he wants love and wants to be cuddled all the time but when I want love he gets avoidant saying he hates relationship etc and is better alone focusing on work dying alone

[@sheLL0811]

hi coach blac i broke up wd my DA and in no contact. i broke up wd him because after we get together hust got back together, everuthing was good, he shut down again and i really got tired.. so broke up wd him to let him know he needs to work on his tantrums.. he have not stop following my aocial media reacting ❤ on my stories, and now he posted stories, should i check? i remember him complaining i dont check his stories.. i am on 15th day on NC now

[@benithacalloway8286]

He wants to breadcrumbed you. Stay no contact till he says something valuable

[@sheLL0811]

@@benithacalloway8286 i was the one who broke up wd him and he didn't want the break up. i just told him that i just need it now but i promised him i will be back just not ready now for commitment.. knowing DA they feel abandoned, so i decided to check his stories just to let him feel that I am a person of my word. I dont want him to move on because he feels abandon, i am just giving him space.. DA just needs space and giving him the break up is enuf space.. i dont talk to him or reacts to his stories or posts, I decided to view his story it to make him feel i am here and i care.

[@TheRealKoehler_2025]

thank you, coach

[@teresalopez5683]

How about a DA in a rebound relationship?

[@kenyan_artkid.1]

Nice 👍 one

[@blacademic]

🤞🏿

[@annabylina]

We've been together for 5 years and last months with fighting and all.. I've been toxic and he was hurt , he is right, and I've apologied a lot but he didn't want to hear. Now I'm in nc trying to work on myself as much as I can, miss him deeply,my best friend ever. Starting to lose hope but it hurts too bad yet. 5 month went by. Is there still a chance?

[@obiej17]

I've had some come back later then that. Some coaches say at the 3 month mark u can reach out and see if anything sparks cause u have nothing to lose @ that point. I'd say continue to not. Give it more time. But if u do happen to reach out b prepared for it being the final closure. And don't bring up anything about the break up. Small talk etc. How u been. What's new. Etc.

[@mikeypiezzo]

Fire jersey

[@omersb2002]

Hey Guys. The best way to attract them back is to get another girl that is more beautiful than her!! Then when she comes back, the revenge will be ready !! - Show her who you are!

[@jadenbeauchamp8836]

What about an avoidant dumpee I reached out for reconciliation and she ignored all my messages been a month of no contact

[@_krithika_k]

Will a person who left you already once will come back around the second time?pls answer,coach

[@shawny979]

Sometimes yes, to test the waters.

[@yo-dn8mw]

El mío ha vuelto dos veces y se ha vuelto a ir. Seguro que vuelve. Si no ha vuelto ya cuando te mando este mensaje.

[@Ms.T2024]

Mines is a Avoident 😢

[@theyluvvcoco]

i live with my fiance ex. it's rly not easy

[@VlogsbyR11]

Hello Coach, I'm in no contact with my Ex but she's literally messaging me, Short texts before but now she's chatting casually more, What do i do sir? Should i keep responding her? (Short replies only) I'M IN NO CONTACT

[@dark-nymph]

Well if you’re in no contact, why are you keep responding to her messages? Ignore her until she says something significant (if you want her back, of course)

[@free2bme604]

Are avoidants and narcissists the same?

[@fabiocosta3306]

They're twin brothers. I'd say a narcissist is always an avoidant but an avoidant doesn't have to be a narcissist. My ex was a covert narcissist and a massive DA

[@OiVinn-eq1ml]

Avoidants are covert narcissist

[@jocotv462]

i applied NO CONTACT for two weeks, but still i cant get hold of my self and sent her a msg. about How thankful i Am. . . i really want us to get back but still, and now i want to go back NO CONTACT again with her. is there any advice for me.

[@skitzupshaw7009]

Should I send a video about being an Avoidant to my Ex

[@benithacalloway8286]

Yes

[@Jonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn]

Everyone A Life Coach Now Adays 🤨 Don’t Listen To Him . Your Ex Is Your Ex For A Reason

[@jenniferarzadon2525]

Happy valentines day couch i listen and learn i really appreciate you po thank you po so much oeace and blessings po✌️🙏🏽❤️

[@L3ssIsMoor3]

Can two avoidance work in a relationship? I’m assuming avoidance want their space, but also don’t want to be ignored.

[@mccrypt2531]

I read abt it in the book “attatched “ and in the small study it said no

[@gregepps1669]

I know this is off topic, but I have a question. My ex girlfriend was married for 26 years prior to meeting me. We started dating an approximately one year after her divorce. We were a couple for a year and six months. She started her current relationship five months after we broke up. In your opinion, was I the rebound or the dude she is currently dating?

[@benithacalloway8286]

I would say the one in the middle unless there’s a switch to you 😂

[@Hex_Hub_Plus]

Imo it's a rebound. Healing from a long relationship takes time.

[@samsunggalaxytaba3858]

F avoidants.. plain and simple.. good luck with your cats.

[@TakamuraAso]

Very smart

[@bridaugherty3831]

Can you help me?

[@bridaugherty3831]

We were together for 5 months and 1 month of that was waiting for them during the holidays and exams to see me but the moment I got needy ab missing them and waiting to see them.. they dumped me. We had a great connection and so on and then it ended. I wanted a serious relationship and we both care for eachother but they said.. they are not in a situation where they are available for a relationship.

[@ac800]

First Valentine’s Day with out him 😢

[@blacademic]

Sorry for what you are going through. Things will get better in time

[@hellomybaby7486]

Was your partner an avoidant too?

[@55maranatha]

@@blacademic Hello. Just wanted to let you know that Jesus loves you very much. He is coming back very soon and He wants you to be ready. Just go to Him as you are. You don’t have to be perfect. The only thing He requires is a full surrender of your life. Go to Him and give Him your life and everything. Once you surrender everything (from the heart). He will give you The Holy Spirit in His fullness. The Holy Spirit will then give you faith, the power to overcome sin, peace, fulfillment and above all, eternal life. You cannot do it on your own strength. It’s only by the Holy Spirit. And you get The Holy Spirit once you lay everything down, including your life at The Lord’s feet. He says in His Word “Not by might, not by power but by my Spirit”. People think Christianity is boring. That’s because they see it as a religion. Christianity is not a religion, but a personal relationship with Jesus Christ who loves you and gave Himself for you. Having a relationship with Christ is the most joyful fulfilling thing you can ever have. Jesus changed my life and He wants to change yours as well. The reason we are all here is to fellowship with and have a relationship with God.

[@countcrow]

This is so wrong. An avoidant doesn't feel safe. If you distance yourself you are only proving them right. You have to make them know they are safe with you.

[@blacademic]

Not after a breakup. You do not prove them right by staying there. They are seeking space and distance. Forcing things after a breakup with an avoidant is one of the worst things you can do

[@joeysauce]

@@blacademic what if they are considering it a break?

[@johnhernandez4763]

⁠@@joeysauceit really is a break, a space for them to breath alone and a time to miss you. Time is on the dumpees side

[@qwickvids1140]

I an the dumper and i dumped my ex narc. I am in day 45 of no contact

[@benithacalloway8286]

Why are you no contact since you want them back

[@horaceblige2699]

No hope at all

[@hmanfilms]

Not to sound overly red pill. But if she comes back, we all know what category she’s getting put in, and we know why. :).

[@Estefania-ef2cc]

FWB

[@johnhernandez4763]

Lol 😂

[@BiscuitsNGravy-p3l]

You don’t trust her after she has been out there with other men. Many times, she was already out there when she was supposedly with you. Sad truth.

[@KATOGOJIRA7223]

She text me It was a lie from the beginning Im a hoe Etc Wtf is that all true?

[@Edwinwil1968]

Very helpfull! Thanks for the great advice!

[@_krithika_k]

Coach blac pls answer,if your partner has already left you once and u guys got back,and again he left will he come back again?@coachblac

[@MariahSullz]

My ex and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. We had been dating for 9 months and we told each other all the time how much we wanted to marry each other, have kids, and the whole 9 yards in a mature, realistic way. We never fought and never talked down to each other or any abuse whatsoever. He broke it off due to him thinking he always disappointed me because of how much of his life he has to dedicate to his family due to their toxic nature. He has a lot of childhood and family trauma. He said in the break up, “I hope I can reintroduce myself to you one day as a better and healthier partner”. I tried texting a few times but he has not responded. He is an avoidant and doesn’t express his sad/upset feelings almost ever. The only actual contact we’ve had is when I went to his house 2 weeks after the breakup and we had a sincere, calm chat on his porch. He told me more intimate details about how his family situation has gotten worse and how he started going back to therapy after our breakup and how he still cares about me. He said he’s not sure yet if we will be together agin in the near future just because of how much is currently going on with him mentally. Do you think we still have a chance? I know for the meantime I need to move on, but he is my person and I believe to be my soulmate.

[@jodijodi6228]

Wow your situation is just like mine. It’s just so hard & makes no sense :/ we love them so deeply, so sincerely… no conflicts … yet they have to avoid. I’ve been crying for over 3 months… trying to move on yet secretly hoping he’ll return to our love. Ugh Hugs to you & I get it, struggling too ❤️‍🩹

[@MariahSullz]

@@jodijodi6228praying for you💜💜 I have and will always believe that what’s meant to be WILL be. An update: me and him got back together and even went to therapy together. We talk out our feelings much more now. Everything is out in the open and no more bottling our feelings. If your relationship was pure and healthy, then I wish nothing but the reformation of it and I hope you two will be able to reconcile and be stronger than ever. Sometimes it truly does take the distance to realize how much you want to be better for the other person. Only time will tell if you guys are better together or apart. Don’t listen to anyone on here saying “if it was meant to be you’d still be together” or “if it was real you guys would have worked it out without breaking up” because that’s just not the case. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE is so different. Every RELATIONSHIP is different. LOVE is different. Keep praying on it my love💜

[@seniac3172]

This just happened to me a month ago also because of family and them expecting so much from him, saying my problems were stressing him out and he needed to put him first basically. But he did it in a way that I was all of a sudden too much of a victim in my life from my trauma and struggling for him and he couldn’t be a trash can for my problems (after his family saying he was too stressed about mine). It’s only been a month but everything was amazing, no fights, so sincere and we were so in love. We had been long distance for a few months after he graduated and I needed one more semester and time to save to move as well. I don’t understand it and I just hope he will return to me because we said we were soulmates and meant to be. He was feeling so overwhelmed and my life has been hectic too. But what we had was real and he has so much last trauma and so do I, I’m understanding now he must be an avoidant because of his dad and I’m anxious from my dad growing up. He didn’t give me a chance to communicate anything, I got ghosted