Is Your Family Making You Broke? Discussing Black Tax

[@kendih362]

It caused such a riff in my family when I decided enough was enough. But now I do my own thing at my own pace. It robbed me of five years of my first years of work, saving nothing and making no progress in my life because I was busy saving everyone. I became bitter , I hated my life so much , Aaaand family becomes ENTITLED!!!! Weeeeh!!!!You have to get to a point where you know that YOU deserve your money. You deserve to do the things you want to do. You do not owe anyone your money, you are not your siblings parents, No, you do not owe your parents for raising you. YOU CANNOT SAVE EVERYONE PS: This is for anyone who is struggling and wants to stop. Don't come at me if it's your mission to save your entire village ❤️

[@bachlilian2095]

Hey Kendi.

[@kendih362]

@@bachlilian2095 Hey. You know me? Lol

[@bachlilian2095]

@@kendih362 Excuse my manners. No. I came across your comment and truth be told I somehow have been struggling with that. I reached out to ask if can 'benchmark' from you. IG; bach_lilian.

[@kendih362]

@@bachlilian2095 Sawa. Let me DM you...

[@KayOleMacharia]

Damn... Thought I was alone

[@sheeyjelagat5946]

12 years of work, I had nothing substancial for myself because I became a deputy parent. I called myself into an AGM and read my family the riot's act. 2 of my sisters are now working and I told them I am not Jesus, I can't save everyone. Kila mtu ajipange na ile kidogo wanapata. I now have a little to afford a walk into Woolworths/Vivo and push a trolley bila guilt. I told my mom I am not her retirement plan as much as I am the 1st born and dad passed on. I make sure they all save their money and upon maturity, I willingly top up for them to achieve what they were saving for. I feel like as much as we run away from talking about such issues, it is important. You end up being bitter for nothing yet you can open up and let family know your stand and threshold of 'saidia'.

[@laceyloops]

Wee ni chuumaaa mami... The female Doshi mwenyewe 👏👏👏

[@deemakambi2172]

Power to you!!

[@legibitiqua2]

Young people....please please please start saving for your own retirement. We don't want to be like those folks who depend on their kids in their old age. Anza kujipanga sai! Figure yourself out please so that we break this cycle.

[@joankaranja4182]

Black tax doesn't only affect the first child. Even last borns who are born into families where the older siblings haven't taken responsibility of their own stuff! And you end up growing up too fast. Exhausting!!!!

[@kristineodongo9357]

Exactly am a last born too and my blood pressure goes up from demands,nobody bothers to ask how you are doing,just money money,they make you feel guilty,sina chochote and its my fault,I don't know what to do

[@magzdue]

True

[@Kibenwa]

This gets to me because I have a close friend who'd been in a similar situation for years! It took a lot of intervention to show her she needed to put herself first. Sometimes, you just have to be a last born and throw a tantrum and say enough!

[@mychakulachronicles7079]

True

[@winrosemuthoni561]

Sure.

[@fifthfifo8361]

Let me break it down, people from poor families, born n brought up in ghettos or low class, parents bear many children without budgeting for them, so the entitlement from parents, that wewe mwenye ume "make it" have to take the responsibility of educating ur siblings! Especially girls, we take on the title like it's ours. Let us be honest, Lorna n Shikie can't relate coz they come from families that are financially stable, no disrespect, but kids from rich families don't go through black tax. Black tax is wen ur siblings are poor n depend on u, ur sick parents need medical assistance n it's only u can afford it, u earn good money but can't save coz basic needs of ur family is heavily on ur shoulders. I have supported my family for more than 11 years and i got tired of it! If u live abroad u can maybe relate, it can take a toll on ur marriage, ur own plans for yourself, young people please help ur families however not at the expense of ur own future juu if things turn left for u, they will not be there for u. Money, makes ur close ones betray u, u work abroad and send money for them to floss. End of rant!!!

[@annetgesare8199]

I wish they invited someone who has experienced black tax first hand to share their perspective.

[@a.a.6762]

@@annetgesare8199 💯💯

[@ebisibanyabuti956]

Yes💯-wueeh

[@janewakariti4273]

I dont think it fair to say the poor dont budget for the number of kids they should have. In most cases the poor dont have the education and maybe not access to healthcare for the contraception but they also have basic human right to procreate. but I suppose black tax would be larger if you come from a poorer background.....especially if you make it!

[@ivywangui5086]

i dont think helping family should be counted as black tax. coz there is no way unasaidia wakiwa na pesa,,you help coz hawana. i wish you people invited a person from a poor family/bakground.

[@gaterewambugu9703]

My principle is "you can't pour from an empty cup". Unless you have more than enough to give, grow yourself first.

[@k1pepeo]

Ivy is such an active listener.

[@diannaachando9160]

Such an active active listener (if that makes sense 😂)

[@mghoimlecha5121]

Very true.

[@reddb5281]

I have been raised by my entire extended family and everytime an uncle or aunt uses this fact as a way to ask for money from me I remind them that they didn't do it for me. They were helping their sister. 😊😊

[@upendome887]

Lol 😂

[@sincerelysylviaK]

Lol

[@mi3helle707]

🤣

[@puritywakio9514]

😂😂😂😂

[@ivymarenya6797]

Biggest thing about black tax, for me, has got to be the ingratitude and entitlement that comes with it. I am not paying it (maybe yet) but I watched my dad raise his siblings and his siblings' kids. They would visit him all the time just to get handouts from him all the time. They even went to his place of work when my mom told them to get lost, but he never got any kind of gratitude from those sponges. They abandoned my old man after he retired cause they thought he no longer had money to give them. If curses are real, I have cursed those leaches almost every time I think of them

[@upendome887]

Find a away to forgive them don't waste your energy in cursing them, use your energy on something productive.

[@winnienjuru9269]

Ivy is right. Disclosing your salary enables them plan your budget for you and remain entitled to a specific amount from you. That reminded me that they should also not know any of your expenses like your rent etc because they will demand what they think remains.some are quite balsy.

[@jaqlynmurage2787]

First, I love this topic A lot, it's so close to my heart. Me I ghosted, left and moved far away because I couldn't handle the manipulation and financial debt. As lorna said some parents use raising you as the reason for you to send money, regardless of whether you have it or not. Kopa kama hauna, yet they don't care about how you will pay it back. Plus, who said parenting and raising a child is a debt you need to be paid back for, you made a choice to have the child and raise it stop making the child feel they have to pay for the financial strain you went through, they didn't choose to be born you choose that

[@a.a.6762]

Same whatapp.

[@shirlyneodhiambo]

I EVEN WANT TO CRY BECAUSE YOU'VE NAILED THIS POINT STRAIGHT TO MY HEART!😭😭😭

[@amythendi3030]

This is true I'm a last born but now I just feel like this black tax iss like you're repaying them for taking care of you🙌🙌

[@ajnawangari]

The bitter truth is that it's a parents job to raise their kid not the other way round. The child should help voluntary unless it's an emergency.

[@luckboyish]

This is especially tougher for people living in the diaspora like me. Everyone including friends all feel entitled to your hard earned money. It’s a struggle. I’ve seen friends who get furloughed and when they reach home without savings they are avoided by everyone like a plague

[@maureenmurugi8151]

Those people who give birth to basketball teams and they don't have neither the financial nor emotional capability of taking care of all those kids alafu they impose their responsibilities on the first child ati,"si we have educated you,its your responsibility to take care of the rest".😒😒😒😒😒😒 disgusting behavior that should stop. If a parent had many kids with the intention to actually take care of them the along the line they weren't able to,then that's a whole different ball game. Lakini hii story ya kuzaa tu alafu you don't want to be responsible for your actions inafaa ikomeshwe.

[@margiemweru1833]

We can't blame them. They barely had information and the kind of knowledge at our disposal now...eg FP Our generation has a great chance of changing the narrative

[@zainabmejja9936]

True true

[@nettynyakiambori4780]

@@margiemweru1833 totally untrue... They grew up and saw that with this amount of money that I have, this is what I can honestly afford. So why is it that even when they know they can barely feed themselves and a significant other, they still want to have a new child every year and in extreme cases, have even more children within secret affairs, all of whom they knew from the beginning they cannot afford?

[@paulinedaniel6119]

@@margiemweru1833 at least there is something called common sense even what seems common may not make sense to others but there is something else called Logic.. And any responsible human should have control based on what they can afford to support effortlessly

[@maureenmurugi8151]

And those parents who ghost their children wakiwa wadogo them resurface when the kids are all grown demanding to be taken care of ati, "Mimi ni mzazi wako it's your responsibility to take care of me".😒😒😒😒😡😡😡😡 don't get me wrong I'm all for loving on our parents lakini these ones who don't want to take up their responsibility, wapotelee makindu

[@upendome887]

This makes me think of the man who donated sperms for me and never was in the picture, it hurts growing up not knowing who your parents are but it's better they stay out of our lives for good. Imagine healing your wounds slowly time to move on with life someone walks into your life saying I'm your mother or dad what the heck? Where were you when we needed you most? What makes you think we want you in ourselves?....

[@renee7171]

This was such a good pick for a topic. However it has not been addressed aptly because there’s lack of experience from all three of you. You should have had a guest or some of the respondents give you their full experience. I hope you guys can do more of you ever address this topic again. Thank you for trying though 😃♥️

[@Kemunto1988]

Totally agree, was about to say the same. You can clearly tell they don’t have experience on this topic

[@missmillicent254]

Ikr

[@mrs.andersson2854]

Yep, we thank God they come from "financially sufficient" families, but things kwa ground for me and I believe most of us are very very different!

[@tamaraarama]

agreed

[@Ladyfaithke]

Agree.

[@johnjimngugi6053]

Black tax is a main reason why we not developing. You get your job ,no one really guides you on how you can invest they just want to get the little you have. Some relatives expect money from you not because they don't have but entitlement.

[@simonkalibwani5832]

My family has long been nuclear. Early on, i thought this was odd because African families are extended by nature but as I advanced in my career, it turned out to be a huge blessing. I'm 26 and buying a house in a couple months and i can attribute it to having an independent and SMALL family. However, I now have a partner and her family tree is more messy than my boxer drawer. She has 10+ siblings, blood & step, a tonne of cousins and "family friends." We're working to break the cycle! I do worry about In-Law Tax low-key.

[@veronicamunyambu7675]

The uncles!!!! The entitlement! I once told my mum that if I gave her money and realized she was going to give them, I'd take it back from her, and she knows that I'm very serious. Set your boundaries, there's nothing much they can do.

[@gladyswanjiru388]

Yes I have no issue helping my mum, even before she asks , because its something i have always wanted to do , to take care of her But the uncles and aunties who are so entitled will not see my money 😏

[@diannaachando9160]

Black tax really truly is why we are not building wealth as Africans. We spend so much of our income on others and our survival to a point we can’t build wealth.

[@willdully7348]

So you'd rather let your family suffer to build wealth?

[@thigojiyaweru4460]

Will Dully yeah for the next generation

[@vanessa7366]

This conversation . Waah!! I relate so much to it . I recently just completed my Masters and getting a job was such a hustle . But God opened doors and I got a well paying job . When I told my dad about it , the first thing he said “ as a first born it is required of you to give your first salary to your parents” . I really don’t agree with this thinking but after settling in nilituma kitu kidogo . My mum on the other hand keeps telling me how I should send something to my aunts, grandparents etc lol it’s just ridiculous sometimes

[@maureenaloo5415]

Wtf 😳

[@thigojiyaweru4460]

First of all, women should not give men money, that includes your dad & brothers! This is role reversal

[@bluebird4815]

Don't do it. I started working at 16 and now i'm in my 20's and due to black tax, the finances are fucked. When i woke up and said NO to family, they turned their backs on me.

[@anitamlauzi6037]

I feel your pain😢

[@nyaradhiambo]

Kwanza Huyo wa building an apartment, they may find their other relatives inheriting your apartment while you are still servicing loans. At the very least HAVE IT IN YOUR NAME.

[@elizabethwambui9901]

Help when you can (because some day it might be you in need)but also learn to say NO when it's not possible for you. That way you set boundaries and people know they can't come to you willie nillie. Keep financial and project details to yourself as much as possible coz that's how some relatives start to feel entitled to your money.

[@muthonikimondo6758]

I wish I could love this post Makes sooo much sense

[@allenmwema2334]

Black tax is rooted on the emotive scope. At times, you are the first 'make it' so they feel/you feel obligated to help out. Oft-times you're guilt tripped into giving.

[@MarkGachucha]

This was such an apt subject. Men are afflicted more by this black tax phenomenon; you can't buy that swanky car, gadgets, clothes et al because when you go back home, you'll be met with tacit hostility. It's so sad because it starts when you've barely put your feet on the ground, you can't even pull your weight yet you are now required to put other's on your shoulders. Then your relas start wondering why you are not marrying; how can you possibly raise a family when the little you get is barely enough for all those mouths? Then the outside world is there wondering why you are not making any palpable progress but only you who knows where the shoe pinches. That thing really injures your mental health. I have learnt to be selfish because in most cases, the older you get the more you realise you are on your own.

[@upendome887]

Not only men, I'm a woman early 30s first born had to do everything for my sisters now they all have kids EXCEPT ME still figuring out my life after doing everything for them... Now everyone says why aren't you getting married? When will you bring kids like your sisters? Why this.. Why that... But the only person feeling the pain at the end is ONLY ME....

[@kajujuhlastieM]

@@upendome887 agreed, it affects women. I am the second born but since my 1st born brother did not do so well in life, the unspoken burden fell over to me. I supported him, and my younger sister and brother, literally the entire family. I currently do shopping in my house and my parents house too because my dad could care less what they feed on, while pocketing any and all income from farm activities. Also, we would have a much decent upbringing because my mum worked so hard to ensure she made enough to put us through private schools but my Dad was an alcoholic and also decided to "take and manage" all the family money including putting all my cousins and uncle through school instead of at least prioritising on his family. Now, he aonly calls me on end month, only when he wants money for sthg. Oh and did i mention we had such a pathetic house at home, I couldn't imagine people showing up for my ruracio there so I refused for it to happen and instead built a 1.5 mil house. My mum deserved it and tge budget we had agreed on was 800k tops but since my dad was left supervising the fundis and its "his house" he enlarged it and had it completely modified from the agreed design hence why it ended up costing more 🤦🏽‍♀️ I could go on and on.....but let me just say. Women are even more affected.

[@upendome887]

@@kajujuhlastieM What i do nowadays when I get my salary i pay myself by putting something in my bank account, pay all my bills. When I get phone call from family members asking for money i don't decorate anything or go around the bush i just say sorry i can't help you or is not possible for me and i don't explain myself why.... Before i would feel so bad that i gave and gave didn't even buy underwear or anything for myself. Just before we closed last year i had big fight with one of my auntie who I'm paying school fees for her child in college that was last drop and everything overflow. After crying and questioning since I'm ophan i decided to care for myself then my step sisters the rest i put them in God's hands. There comes a time in life where we have to decide staying or walking to unknown without people you care for it hurts but that is life. My advice is help wherever you can but don't forget who you are or your needs God bless

[@marylynnmonroe7133]

Ivy is so passionate about this topic yaani she couldn't stop shaking her head hahaa!

[@wacekewanjoroge6679]

I can relate😩living abroad,pple back home think you plug the money from trees...and if you can't send,they don't understand!!some even refuse to talk to you coz you didnt sort them out..yaani they think huwezi kosa😪 it's hard esp if you are the bread winner! All in all..great discussion ladies.

[@ebisibanyabuti956]

Same situation-I had a distant relative randomly ask me for 40K -I was shocked cz if you convert that in UK that’s 300 pounds which is a lot of money here to ask someone randomly-smh. Best way is put people on a budget (and it’s immediate relatives only)

[@thigojiyaweru4460]

Ebisiba Nyabuti haha people have asked me for a million, half of that, 300 000, 50k 20, 10, 5, 2🤣🤣

[@beingmisspaul5519]

Very true.. I always have a budget. I put a certain amount to send in a span of 2-3 months. If its over in 1 month.Its over. I won't go above and beyond to facilitate luxury items or someone's responsibility. I just say no. Not this month.

[@KariiandKaris]

Wow! For once I've felt there's someone who can understand me after reading most of the comments. Being a first born of 5 from a single mom has been the heaviest role. I have to play mom that I'm not yet😭. Sometimes I wanna run idk where to! Tuma pesa za....! Anyway, may God give us stronger backs🙏. Big up girls for this topic🤝

[@SmochyVibes]

My uncle helped me travel abroad and now every issue which needs financial attention i will be informed to support this is stressful 😞

[@tanatswataruvinga]

Pay back the money they invested in you and say “here is the money you used to send me abroad. I’m no longer in your debt,”

[@nlerie6teen]

Is over 25 merch still available? Lorna’s sweatshirt 😍

[@wanjirucarole6861]

Fungulia your parents a business or boost whatever they have in terms of investment instead of giving them liquid cash which they'll deplete and keep asking for more. Wacha wajue pesa inatafutwa

[@bluebird4815]

From experience, thsy still don't appreciate!!

[@bluebird4815]

From experience, thsy still don't appreciate!!

[@joylaoshe2481]

This is the comment that should be up there! Facts! Stop giving people fish, rather give them fishing nets!!

[@wattpadusergeek342]

I usually don’t have leftover cash to share, so I share my time, skills and talents. Like if my mum needs tech help to do something, I’m there. Or if the home compound needs help, if her backyard chicken house needs repairs, etc. That’s how I show my appreciation for my parent’s support. With my time and ability.

[@fkalimi]

We need another episode on this. Kind of content we want to listen to.

[@Ladyfaithke]

The most important thing you guys said is that it’s emotional ,no one might ask for it ,but by virtue that they tell you their problem might compel you to act !Plus it’s often something that most people are emotionally prepared to become as they grow .You don’t just wake up and start doing it or to stop .

[@irene_peacewambui6987]

A woman came home, I barely know her name but I have seen her enough times to somehow remember her So she hears I was employed but lost my job and she asks, "mbona hujawai ninunulia sukari 🤔" I told her, I didn't know she takes sugar and left... Like sikujui. You have never helped me. Allow me to give out of my heart not being guilt tripped. But my fam is dope they don't ask, just this strangers 😢

[@lindamaina4483]

😂😂

[@AlexRuire]

I agree...Dowry can be a black tax depending on how its evaluated and its implications to the marriage in a traditional setting can subconsciously cause a lot of problems.

[@eunicewanjiru2428]

Oneni venye wako serious juu black tax is emotional, Jules could have been laughing her ass off

[@MsThe1girl]

I believe that's why they make such good friends aki ,their personalities balance each other out. They help hype each other and mellow each other out.

[@WhitneyKihara]

Kabisaaaa!

[@Grace-W]

As a diasporan, this is an non stop expectation from family members in Kenya. Even when one is struggling there is still an expectation. It feels like they are ok for you to do without as long as you give what's been asked. Worst is there is never thank you just expectation.

[@christinenzioki4588]

Best video I've come across. I'm glad this topic is openly being talked about. I could write a whole book about this topic. First mistake I made was innocently disclosing my salary to my parents in my first job. Never again. They feel entitled because they educated you. Actually in black families succeeding is a bad thing because it automatically comes with the black tax. I had to learn to love myself and say No. At times it works at times it fails because black tax is Emotional. Even after setting the boundaries family still finds a way of getting around it. It's a journey actually.

[@sharongess2938]

I love love this topic because it stresses me the hell out. At the moment my relationship with my mum is very shaky and strained because of this. Yaaani I even think of Just ghosting forever because yoh.

[@wam1549]

I wish you guys can cover family and boundaries. I'm a last born and my family feels entitled to my home, my resources and the most frustrating, they always want to know my private life.

[@violetmoraa.cupcake3308]

I've struggled with this so much... Especially the fact that you are guilt tripped without actually knowing.. I struggle to say no to my fam.. Sadly ive had to put so many projects on hold because of frequently sending money back home. Yikes!!!

[@retiredprocrastinator4771]

Eventually you have to stop coz when you get old you will really need that retirement money.

[@thigojiyaweru4460]

You will get sick and your projects will be undone

[@stephaniegati1051]

First time hearing about black tax. A channel that teaches us new stuff💕💕

[@nyoirocaleb389]

Try reading 'Born A Crime' by Trevor Noah. He espoused it so nicely.

[@stephaniegati1051]

Nyoiro Caleb I will ,thank you

[@mufasa2079]

That blackout was the Ghost of Black Tax hahahah

[@Soulcare_chats]

I love this! Definitely the meaningful content I signed up for. Black tax is definitely a touchy topic, I’m not working yet , but I’ve been raised by a village probably through some sort of black tax. I know I should get mentally ready for it ,I’ve seen my sister struggle from it and it’s not pretty. Black tax is one of the reasons it’s hard to build generational wealth

[@Spinkly]

I’m still watching but I came here to comment on Ivy saying “we look like black tax when elec went. 🤣🤣🤣 “ Ok done watching now and I can totally relate. My dad pays black tax to his siblings and now his siblings children. He basically educated all of them and now his educating their children as well. Where does it end?

[@jessmumbi]

It never ends aki😭

[@diannaachando9160]

Where does it end... amazing question

[@ashasaid8597]

It will end in tears. They will move on as if they never met him.

[@alisonm3700]

A much needed discussion

[@michellek.w8260]

A curse without cause shall not alight. Proverbs 26:2 NKJV Also, where can I get Over25 merch?

[@dandaniels8648]

if you can afford to give just help out, my father was taken to school by his brother and when he was still hustling for a job he gave him shelter and fed him. in turn my dad schooled and stayed with my cousins until they were able to provide for themselves. i think their generation the extended family was important to them. right now our generation the only time we help each other out is at funerals to give him/her a good send off while youcould have just sacrificed a bit to ease their suffering while they were alive.

[@kristineodongo9357]

Helping in time of need is not bad,a lot of people are doing it but hi ya all the time money money is what most people are complaining about

[@munirasalim]

That’s okay. We are against helping all the time and when people refuse to work since you are the family sponsor !

[@tanatswataruvinga]

If you come from an understanding family it’s not bad. But many are being taken advantage of.

[@fridaymaureenodipo1846]

We were orphaned early and my 2 elder sisters had to take care of us, sometimes one has no choice.

[@xoxomacx2539]

@Friday maureen Odipo that is not black tax. That’s taking care of family under a very difficult situation. If however you are still expecting them to do things for you in your adulthood, that’s where it turns into black tax.

[@fridaymaureenodipo1846]

@@xoxomacx2539 No we don't, now we're grown folk and everyone takes care of themselves.

[@xoxomacx2539]

Friday maureen Odipo that’s fantastic. I hope all is amazing in your life’s coming from such a difficult place.

[@christinemutuku9240]

Dowry is definitely black tax..at that point those uncles and aunties tokea from nowhere!!!

[@nettynyakiambori4780]

Mind blown! These are straight facts. And then the way the man paying the dowry is financially roped into the girl's family's finances to be a saviour is just disgusting

[@paulattekenga8220]

true

[@t_ruth5667]

that's why guys don't tell their folks and relatives their salary or tell them they earn half of what they earn cause the expectations are ridiculous...

[@mollykabuteh7144]

Its the " we look like black tax" for me😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Ivy SHUWALIIII

[@nyakwada]

Black tax sometimes does feel like a ball and chain on your leg constantly keeping you in slow motion or frozen. But sometimes it is a necessity when things are actually tough. Especially 'Rona' period has most people on negative. I say, give what you can and when you can, when you can't, say no. No one is entitled to your sweat. I'll leave with my mom's favorite quote, "amelaaniwa mtu yule amtegemeaye mwanadamu". People who rely on black tax without trying to earn their own do not receive the blessings that were meant for them. You won't be cursed for not giving, but you also won't be blessed for giving with a bitter heart.

[@xoxomacx2539]

Black tax is when your family stops talking to you because you haven’t given them money and even start threatening to curse you etc.

[@allan4875]

😂😂 Ati threaten to curse you 😂

[@ivymuthoni6657]

Ata Mungu hawezi kubali curse imanifest😊

[@jaqlynmurage2787]

Story of my life...digehota

[@anastasiakirui7956]

@@allan4875😂😁😁 curses coz of money.

[@justmo6896]

What?! Craaaazy!😂😂😂😂

[@Luandamagere001]

I’m just laughing all the way, just learnt what black tax is, watching from NorCal

[@debbieimbaya2846]

Loved the topic. From my parents experience, I think they paid black tax in taking care of their siblings so that they could get to a point where they could support themselves and were no longer dependent.

[@MtotowaNjuru]

We’re a family of 10 & our first born paid fees for 7 of the 10 children.Our last born is now 20 years

[@justmo6896]

😂😂😂😂ikr lakini sio mbaya if it's voluntary coz as a family we need to help one another....manipulating is wrong!

[@marymathenge3541]

"We look like black tax" that's so hilarious😅😅😅

[@mauram3881]

The dowry part spoke to me... I think we should get rid of the practice if the man pays the woman should pay otherwise let's end it. Kwanza I think this topic needs its own episode

[@cherylstacy5950]

People should just learn to say "No" without feeling guilty, especially if you know you are not able, instead of breaking your back, and worse even falling into depression coz of other people's headaches.

[@achiengossonga5476]

A sensitive topic✌ people avoid this conversation and thank you for bringing it up

[@swayjulu]

Mahn... Some of us don't have an option. Your parents become your 'kids' immediately you get your first paycheck.

[@thigojiyaweru4460]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 that’s me

[@ivymuthoni6657]

This is the earliest I've ever been🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

[@gracegracious9617]

Me too

[@l.j.6729]

Same wow!

[@beckyoloo4483]

Same 💃💃

[@GraceNdiege]

It's not black tax if its coming from you willingly in fact I recommend siblings give their siblings pocket money, treat them to nice dates that's the memory I remember of my sister before it became mandatory that she help me. It means there is less guilt when I really need the money asking for it from her. I am not chasing sijui sponsors when I want to go out and I knowI can call her when I am in trouble. However at some point things changed and she HAD to help, she says she doesn't mind at all but it meant if something went wrong and I needed a bail out the guilt of asking was too much because she is already doing so much. I do the same with my younger brother, supporting his concert extra curricular needs with my kasalo as long as he is not entitled. But at some point I had been asked to "SACRIFICE" for a relative to which I simply refused because I cannot give what I do not have. So yes it is only black tax when there is emotional manipulation especially when people have no idea whether you have a meal everyday or not. Saa zingine huna hata fare ya kufika hiyo job but you're being asked to distribute.

[@BlessedSibajene]

Such a relevant topic. Some families base marital compatibility with how much they can mooch off you. There needs to. be balance, the worst is the entitlement attitude

[@NishiWahuGitau]

Loved loved this, it was informative and such an eye opener.

[@mstafari3172]

This is an amazing way to engage conversations in a very niche way. I really appreciate the content

[@SW-iw3bt]

I think this is such a great sensible topic but I don't think you guys are necessarily the best to discuss it mainly because you have no experience in it. I feel like guests would have worked better.

[@latifambarak1861]

I watched this, closed it, and then came back to comment and stumbled on this as I was perusing the comments section. I completely agree with you. It is such a much-needed conversation and kudos Over 25 for discussing this. However, as I was listening, I kept saying naah, y'alls don't understand how this works. Especially if you're a first-generation graduate, there such mountains ahead to be climbed. So many millenials in Nairobi came to Nairobi for the first time for university, and their parents struggled to educate them knowing once they graduate, their struggles are over. It is emotional because we do have the difficult task of at least ensuring that the suffering does not continue beyond us. There's the burden of saving the mistakes of several generations before us, working on building our own selves, and trying to save for a future generation. And these mistakes are beyond financial. We're also healing from inherited traumas to fix ourselves else we continue to pass on the trauma. It really would be great if you could invite people living the Black Tax life for another discussion :)

[@SW-iw3bt]

I agree with you 100% Latifa. Very well said.

[@annendambiri4566]

It’s funny when you mention people living abroad- all my siblings are abroad and they have children/families. Good thing they are financially stable but it’s crazy when they come home to visit so much is expected of them especially financially!!!!! Needless to say, my father paid ALOT of black tax when he was alive (as children we never really understood it) however it never came before his immediate family, which in hindsight I could never thank him enough for

[@furzzy013]

Can't pour from an empty cup! Give only if and when you can/want.

[@GuzmanPicturesAmos]

*Please do a video on How To Deal with Rejection*

[@wairimurommy5230]

People should really watch this video because who bewitched Africans?!(Relatives/extended family, I'm talking to you!) Wengine wata skip wakidhani ni mambo za KRA smh!

[@annenjambi1189]

😂😂

[@Unknown-tu7wv]

Both my parents work like goooooodddddd jobs but still expect me to contribute to the household instead of giving financial advice like buying land, saving..,. I taught myself financial freedom and I really struggled with it

[@violetngendo5878]

Black tax is real...you will work for 10years and not even have a table to show..relatives expect just because you got a job now you have to take care of their financial issues and sadly it's never a one time thing...you are put in wedding watsap groups, mazishi, baby showers, school fees for their kids,...every month unapata unagawa pesa yote unabaki ukistruggle

[@AscendinSoul]

Very pertinent info. Great content, esp for diaspora.

[@a.w.m1348]

I didn't know that's what it is 😵😵 Thanks girls😍

[@nachumbi]

Am still stuck at a ka-ten K.

[@wanguink3912]

Such a timely topic. Good job girls

[@jayneeeeeee]

Last month I sent almost 3 thousand dollars back home and mind you I have my own bills.

[@thigojiyaweru4460]

Waaa you must be rich! Nyinyi ndio mnatuharibia jina aki! Now they think we pluck money from trees

[@naimawalendo5341]

Wow Jane! Sorry about that

[@naimawalendo5341]

@@thigojiyaweru4460 maybe she saved for it Thigoji. Don't be too hard on her

[@munirasalim]

Wooh!! I will NEVER.. max I send is $50 per month. Take that 3,000 and invest in stocks!!

[@milchshake4162]

BLACK TAX IS ALL OVER THE WORLD NOT JUST KENYANS OF BLACK COMMUNITY. I KNOW OF ARABS, INDIANS, EUROPEANS, LATIN COMMUNITY IN THE DIASPORA DOING THE SAME, TRAVEL N' LEARN . LET ME JUST SAY IMMEDIATE FAMILY IS BLOOD AND ITS AN HONORABLE RESPONSIBILITY IF DONE AUTHENTICALLY AND NOT FORCED. GREETINGS FROM THE DIASPORA 😘

[@juliewanja6654]

Most of us have been raised with the idea of being successful and then later take care of our parents when they are old and can’t work anymore...

[@maggykemunto6133]

A very good Topic...and eye opening.

[@firandcurly84]

Woiii I have benefited from black tax. That's how I afforded college. Now I have two cousins that I am helping through school it's a tough topic no easy answer.

[@tanatswataruvinga]

I think it’s only considered tax if it’s a burden and the people receiving never appreciate the sacrifice made for them.

[@estheratera]

Lol... Its that grandma and car story that shtuad the lights

[@petermbuguanjoroge8038]

Dowry is the amount paid or promised to the wife in the case of divorce while bride price is what people confuse dowry as.

[@estheratera]

Yeeees.. Thank you for discussing this.

[@nettynyakiambori4780]

Such an amazing and thoroughly relatable video! Please keep up the great content ❤️ also could you make a separate video for dowry cause hio pia ni kali

[@brendara3077]

I think there should be a balance. Don't be too mean and also don't struggle because of it. It just feels weird if you are "enjoying" life and your folks are really struggling.

[@ajnawangari]

I think it's time African Parents have a retirement plan. KIDS ARE NOT A RETIREMENT PLAN!! Hope our generation will do. Better as parents.

[@jointedwithj8708]

Shikie the gloow😍😍😍

[@erikaamwaama551]

Thank you, this was informative

[@naimawalendo5341]

My issue is that if you live abroad, people expect you to bring gifts every time you travel back home. It can be too expensive. I've decided not to do this anymore. You can easily spend $1000 and you still have bills and travel expenses

[@the.victorgeorge]

Proverbs 26:2 says that a curse without cause does not alight so people shouldn't fear those causeless curses. On the point of not disclosing your earnings, sometimes it's not even that people disclose, it's that there is a certain assumption that different careers earn. Like if you are an Engineer there is that set figure that people expect you to earn so then they ask for cash based on that assumption..because ofcourse people have other responsibilities

[@naimawalendo5341]

Thanks, Ivy, they should send us money. For me when someone asks for money, mostly extended family, I tell them to wait. I wouldn't send it immediately and I'd send probably half of it and call it a donation

[@aditmayen]

“We look like black tax”🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@sarahkarimi5834]

This one hit home

[@foreignshowreviews]

On top of helping family, in America, black people also have to proof multiple times over our white counterparts that we are qualified! So we have to be twice as good!

[@mucheneviona]

So many young doctors out there struggling because family, including the extended, and the entire village expect hand outs. they have this mentality of "daktari hawezi kosa pesa".

[@gracewanjiru1175]

I miss Jules😍😍