How I Created An Overpowered Dwarf Kingdom In Crusader Kings 3

Crusader kings 3 is here, so I spent the entirety of my game creating the perfect human being. Introducing Big Chungus The Destroyer.
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[@GeoffreyBronson]

I did this by mistake. When going for the Al-Andalus achievement I was too focussed on conquering and converting iberia to notice that my entire genetic line was being slowly filled with Dwarfs. When the game was over I didn't have a single family member or vassal that wasn't a dwarf. It was unreal.

[@TheGastropodGamer]

what

[@OctaviaaivatcO]

It's a blessing from the prophet!

[@Atillatzke]

Ahahahaha

[@powlman6841]

@@TheGastropodGamer Your brain works at a snail's pace! Fuck it.

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E

[@fried_infant895]

“Relatively compact people” I love isorrowproductions

[@thetsar2851]

You isp gang or isorrow gang?

[@fried_infant895]

AxxL what?

[@tennosred2]

Team isp ftw

[@aguyfromnz537]

Jerma

[@ThomasJ00007]

You hurted my feewing its vertically challenged people

[@Oscar-pr5su]

“All our holy sights are everywhere that we can’t get too” you mean the top shelf?

[@jebbediahkerman768]

Oscar hhhjjjhjjjjjj ha

[@borisklyukin3119]

so... the cookie jar

[@hagalathekido]

holy sites

[@bastard-took-the-name-I-had]

Do not mention The Arch Nemesis

[@platinumcactus6477]

I found this as soon as I was at that part

[@AlexThePlagueDoc]

Dwarves + Raiding Literally goblins.

[@Theshadowdemon9]

*GAAAAWWWWWBLINS!!!!!!*

[@arizonaranger6024]

Close the gates! *starts closing it* it’s almost closed they’ll have to slide if they want to get in Rome!!! Dwarves: *Run under the gate* Guards: By the pope…… may god save him

[@albertopezzutto6228]

i'm dieing xD

[@lumbagogaming2129]

*forshadowing*

[@mikearsen4580]

I remember reading in a history books about dwarfs that were kidnapping people all over the Europe from Iceland

[@Kjajo]

Behave yourself or *THE DWARFS* gonna take you

[@Bruh-hq1hx]

Tell me more

[@obijuanquenobi1911]

I remember reading that they couldn’t kidnap Charles V because his chin was powerful enough to kill anyone

[@Ballin4Vengeance]

The Snatchers

[@FuckingMushroom93]

Iceland: Sees dwarves for the first time Iceland: "Hey, we can make a religion out of this."

[@dragonslape345games8]

That was a joke from the history of the entire world in a nutshell lol

[@TheHedgehogGamerz]

@@dragonslape345games8 some guy died on a stick that was in a cross form, we can make a religion out of that

[@idiotsavant2343]

I not saying ISP Is a dwarf, but he plays dwarves a lot.

[@_Muzolf]

By that logic, he is also a rat, or some rat-people mutant anyway.

[@oliverbutton1701]

bruh

[@willferrous8677]

@@_Muzolf I think you are onto something here...

[@borgcube8349]

rat person mutant!

[@martinaustin6230]

@@_Muzolf ISP is a rat dwarf. Confirmed

[@alexanderbeck803]

As a Icelander i can confirm that we are just a bounch of dwarfs, in our dwarf kingdom

[@nicholaswilkowski632]

Dirty dwarf kingdom, we in the inbreb giant kingdom declare tic tac toe...

[@ProfessorLemur]

What’s the weather like down there?

[@0mn0m70]

@@ProfessorLemurit's windy, cloudy and depressing here

[@ProfessorLemur]

0mn0m have you considered brazil

[@aukfly9231]

Ok but can you stop kidnapping the pope?

[@sebastianlodge7549]

The dungeons of Iceland are just filled with all the royalty of Europe.

[@BadDayLp]

Pope: Hey King of West Francia! Watcha doin here? KoWF: I got ransacked by a bunch of dwarves- Pope: Same bruh

[@math3000]

@@BadDayLp Both of them: Wait, is that the heir to the Byzantine Empire?

[@MapleLeaf2501]

Explains all the inbreeding.

[@jimtalbott9535]

“Dungeons of Iceland” is so redundant at this time.

[@misterec5834]

It's basically Wal-Mart for sadistic kings

[@worldeater2414]

"The land where no one can have children!" It's the sheep. They are too alluring.

[@mollymcallister1671]

*bleats nervously*

[@mollymcallister1671]

@Thanos Thanos *replies in the traditional sheepish manner, HEADBUTT!*

[@OhioStudiosOG]

​@@mollymcallister1671 bro really got nervous, committed assault and battery, refused to elaborate and left

[@Frixworks]

I like to imagine a 73 year old man hobbling towards enemy soldiers and town squares yelling profanities in Icelandic soon followed by his army as they cut them down.

[@silvercandra4275]

"By a 73 year old one-eyed man" I immediately yelled "It's Odin!" when he said it XD

[@benreynolds5433]

Press F for Jarl UNI Gardarsson, of Iceland, He was a chad! May he never be forgotten. Plundered rome, Constantinople's entire area, then all of south italy, then he raids all of scotland, and for his last dying days, he lives out in PLUNDERING and looting all of italy, then rides in his deathbed by looting all of scotland again. . And finally dies bringing back a fortune for a beginner player. . What a chad.

[@Zorro9129]

F

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

F

[@Miraihi]

F

[@Galdenberry_Lamphuck]

Little f for his little descendants ᶠ

[@thenasiudk1337]

F, you never be forgotten

[@lightningn8games288]

"almost a full sized human being"

[@colossaldonut5190]

Ah yes, the holy dwarf pilgrimage: Using a ladder to get to the top shelf of the cupboard

[@axetonamillb5121]

Oompa loompa dippity do. We've sacked constantinople and now we'll sack you.

[@jakobacuna4126]

Lovely

[@Palladiosios]

Oompa loompa doopaty di now we'll also sack Italy

[@jimtalbott9535]

Grunka Lunka dunka da abadi, we’re Compact and we’re here to steal your baby.

[@BaronVonMott]

I hate myself for it, but I'm laughing 😂😂😂

[@MCDesign199]

Ah dude "And Denmark is currently converting to...*Islam* " XD Ah Paradox games are always just a beauty to behold

[@JaMeXDDD]

Art imitates life.

[@Mr_Kiwi_the_Wizard]

I was playing Ireland the other day and jorvik went islam.

[@crypticgaming4485]

I'm just surprised it wasn't sweden.

[@xboxboys03]

DoGyMusic Prefer the spaghetti monster in the sky to be honest. Just makes more sense in my opinion. Because yknow spaghrtti > humans

[@the_odd_cat553]

@DoGyMusic You are based brother. Allahu Akbar

[@meganoobbg3387]

Now we know the real reason why the Roman empire fell - constant dwarf raids by Atilla the dwarf.

[@mapleandsteel]

This was actually the theme of an Indian movie, a mystical island that is far from the mainland where all the men are dwarves. They were all also old-timey medieval, monarchy, etc. Then a tall boi from the mainland comes, pretends to be a dwarf and marries a proncess that was bethrothed to the dwarf king. Featuring one of India's best actors, Ajay "Undapakru" Kumar, who also happens to be a dwarf. Movie is called 'Athbhutha Dweepu' (Miraculous Island). Good movie, 10/10 would recommend.

[@brandongreenland9632]

I’d love to see this kingdom in Stellaris a thousand years later.

[@Abdega]

Their compact size makes them perfect for space travel

[@brandongreenland9632]

Abdega All I see in this comment is the truth

[@twat3789]

Abdega they can be stacked like crates so that you can transport twice the amount of troops and colonists on ships

[@jagothegamer5750]

The fact that there are dwarf portraits in Stellaris would make this better.

[@orfeo793]

someone's gotta make another expansion to that megacampaign mod series that brings your empire into stellaris

[@leephilips5781]

“What are you doing step brother” Brilliant. - Thanos

[@chiangkaishrek5123]

They refer to be called *”Vertically challenged”* thank you very much

[@nathanielrourke8886]

"Using the money from raiding Byzantium to steal the 6 year old king of Wales... a noble cause."

[@TailsIsDisappointed]

So... you just created Danny DeVito?

[@real10002]

The supreme leader

[@ancsuther]

why is he disappointed

[@ProfessorLemur]

so anyway, that’s when i started inbreeding

[@Bothrops_Asper_89]

Ah, yes. King Mantis Toboggan and his magnum dong.

[@iwreh2836]

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK IS DANNY DE VITO AND I'M STILL DYING OF LAUGHTER

[@echo_9835]

F for Jarl Uni the Super Viking.

[@thenasiudk1337]

This is probably the most memeable game to ever exist

[@-Big_Big]

i never understood that. "We will let you go if you convert to our religion" "yes ! yes of course!" *is freed and back home* "wow, they really let me go??? back to good ol religion for me"

[@math3000]

That's such a pro-Christian move. (they probably invented that tactic to avoid being purged by the Romans)

[@korenn9381]

One would suppose they would make you perform some acts that are hard to explain back home, such as burning the bible, join in some pagan rites, etc.

[@MrVlad12340]

@@korenn9381 just tell they forced you and you did that in bad faith, remaining christian in secret and praying to God after each depraved act. Also buy an indulgence from Pope.

[@richardew8717]

Gotta love it

[@fishbutnoegg]

Ok

[@TheMadSpyCrab]

You should do a video of the “North Korea” exploit thing, there’s a video on it

[@childrenofsin5346]

People call me a rump ranger for some reason

[@daveenglish107]

I'll range your rump no homo

[@emrekaraman6877]

@@daveenglish107 the boiling point of water is really high and i like my fish like judaism, served with ice.

[@novaredstar5433]

I love your videos man! I've been watching you for about 3 years now! Thank you for making me laugh!

[@literallytuvalu7171]

@@User14234 it's actually because he was kidnapped by the rat people for exposing their existence. The rat people are letting him make videos so the rat people can get money, but they dont allow him to contact the outside world

[@ravenouself4181]

That Viking guys was like my Polish King in CK2, he just wouldn't die. He lived to be 98 and then died of old age. His daughter then became Empress of Poland, because ofcourse, and she lived to be 85. Both of them managed to establish bloodlines and had all stats at 20+ with their individual battle prowess stat being over 90 at the time of their deaths. Did I forget to mention both of them died of old age?

[@marras122]

Operation: Dwarf Fortress

[@Puzzl3man]

Disliked and reported for sexual content for not being offensive enough.

[@ragnarok3374]

lol

[@niniljannah8587]

yep

[@cornsyrup9947]

its 1 o'clock and time for lunch. when the sun's beats down and I lie on the bench, I can always hear them talk.

[@antoniopaganini5700]

What about torturing the pope

[@clray123]

May I recommend Dwarf Fortress to you, sir?

[@ori6990]

"denmark is moving to islam" *MEGACAMPAIGN FLASHBACKS*

[@ezequielhermoso5954]

Paradox wants to tell us something

[@demonicwillow7339]

Funny thing is that it also was Jylland,the same nation that gone muslim in the megacampaign

[@hapukurk6664]

Jarl Uni Garbarsson. Thats the best pirate I have ever seen.

[@yeetyboi5481]

You should’ve forced the pope to convert to dwarfism

[@jackoknight1226]

yay he's alive

[@isaacthompson3600]

Damn you! I was about to go to sleep and you released this masterpiece

[@Gamer-cb6yg]

They posted this when it was practically midnight over here. *i fell asleep while watching this but here I am*

[@isaacthompson3600]

@@Gamer-cb6yg I fell asleep too!

[@maxstormhamburger3688]

The ancient practice of "Dwarf-stealing." Funniest guy on youtube.

[@luckypunfire6263]

4:51 made me giggle (your disappointment over becoming a father was hllarious), but I've got to tell you that segment from 6:43 - 7:11 made me literally laugh out loud.

[@NomdePlume337]

Rip Jarl Uni. Man was basically Odin himself

[@AP-qr8en]

Beta: Geographical expansion Alpha: “extra range for dwarf stealing”

[@daevious_]

I haven't heard ISP have so much joy in months. Please make more Crusader Kings 3 videos, your laughter gives me life.

[@mazze2841]

We in italy pull the leg to Sardinians saying that they are short, so it makes sense to me

[@ninjastargames253]

Jarl Uni has big "Sword of Jesus" energy

[@Sodom_and_Gomorrah]

More like the "Sword of Dwarves"

[@unicornstuffing4831]

As an Icelander I can confirm this is all historically accurate

[@Mistaken_deed]

The Mountain King would be proud of you.

[@grantreill1966]

Honestly the best part about this whole thing is you gave me a great idea: abduct all my rival kings and emperors, force convert them to Asatru, and then have my heir convert to something that doesn't have elect succession and later just assimilate all the tiny kingdoms into my empire.

[@ichimaru96]

"that should have been dwarves not dwarfs" *grudging intensifies*

[@KarthanRouge]

THIS ONE'S FOR KARAK EIGHT-PEAKS

[@gubus2494]

Khazukan kazakit ha!

[@cast1e_survival]

When the small people are so small, they shorten the plural of dwarf.

[@Spyincoporated]

I mean Icelanders believe in elves, so dwarfs are just the next logical step really

[@bloodmagiclord8253]

Most of them don't.

[@GlidusFlowers]

BloodMagicLord It’s complicated

[@bloodmagiclord8253]

@@GlidusFlowers Já, ísland er jafnan flókið, sérstaklega tungumálið. Reyndar, ísland virðast að vera að hannaði að rugla útlendinga. Það er frábært. Íslensku mínum er vonandi læsilegt.

[@GlidusFlowers]

BloodMagicLord Íslenskan þín er svo sannarlega læsileg Alveg sammála, Íslendingar eru jafn mótaðir af hugmyndum annara af okkur og við erum mótaðir af eigin hugmyndum

[@GyaruRespecter]

I swear allegiance now and forever to the *Kingdom of Shortstacks*

[@pepijnoosterhuis6121]

I believe that the walls of constantinople prevent raiding in some capacity

[@TheCoal27]

"What is wrong with WALES!?!" It's all those sheep.

[@mollymcallister1671]

"Here's how much loot we can carry, probably less because we are tiny people." Fool! Dwarves suffer no encumbrance penalties from the weight that they carry!

[@beaversforlife1298]

"The Fall of Constantinople to the Dwarfs"

[@pureststupidity3621]

“It’s quite sad really.” 2020 in a nutshell.

[@zrrndzan3894]

The pope when isorrow kidnaps people converting them and trys to have everyone be his religion: *Don't you use my own spells against me potter*

[@CoolieBruv]

Man the new Dwarf Fortress update looks gorgeous.

[@Bellannie15]

This had me laughing the whole time, can relate to the terrible heirs so much

[@samiamrg7]

“Small people” as a demonym actually has a ring to it. Kind of like “the low countries,” it’s “the small countries.” A small country consisting of small islands.

[@ardnaif552]

The Dwarven people of the land of Smäll.

[@fakergamer1385]

"We need to steal a dwarf" well wheres the CIA? xD

[@balintvasvari7573]

The Pope actually called a crusade against England, that's the fanfic I love Crusader Kings for

[@davismathis845]

The hobbit we’ve been waiting for.

[@awildfilingcabinet6239]

Jarl Uni will go down as one of the greats. Like admiral Dong. And... I’m blanking. Were any of the bike seat sniffers any good? Can’t honestly remember

[@bromosome8049]

"I gotta raid Byzantium, there's like a HUNDRED and fifty gold pieces there" literally why Vikings sacked Constantinople irl

[@nogoodnamesleft_]

10:31 "throw it in the trash 2 throw it in the trashsdottir" that name just cracks me up

[@stephanaugust1101]

The term is PoC - people of compactness

[@steffplaysmapping1104]

Icelanders under Jarl Uni "One-Eyed" be like: You like Allfather Odin, both with having one eye and that all of us is propably related 7:45 F

[@pyguyofdoom182]

GRUDGES WILL BE SETTLED

[@conorwalsh6860]

This honestly feels like an ISP life story that really happened

[@midievalcat7770]

Now you should have this kingdom battle the Chad kingdom you made for the last video

[@1onetry149]

I have been waiting all week for this Glad its here

[@sovietpotato6252]

I had a game where one of the tribes in scandanivia somehow got land in India

[@seattlepunkgaming3825]

Jarl Uni, a god among men. F.

[@Anon26535]

They got little hands, little eyes They walk around telling great big lies

[@pedropagliacci3108]

Jarl Uni was the gigachad of his time

[@gm-kasgaranadamas9018]

F for Jarl Uni Gardtharsson of Iceland. The mad lad himself.

[@ScootalooGS]

*somewhere under iceland* diggy diggy hole, digging a hole

[@EslayerTM]

"Form a religion out of dwarvism!" (me thinking of bill wurtz) *WE COULD MAKE A RELIGION OUT OF THIS*

[@mustlovedragons8047]

12:40 "What is wrong with Whales?" A question the English ask themselves all the time.

[@SuperDropsX]

Fun fact: The plural with f instead of v is the preferred spelling for most small people, to make the contrast to the fantasy race

[@wandererjiyuren661]

I regret taking a swig of sprite right as you showed your steam review, but I managed to stifle the laugh and you managed to gain a sub out of it. XD

[@icestorm199]

Fun fact, in Age of Sigmar Dwarves are actually “Dwarfs” for copyright reasons, so you basically just made your world kind of Sigmar haha

[@commanderowen]

Ah yes. The dwarves of Iceland that went on a massive kidnapping spree. Loved reading about that in the history books

[@jackfrost5808]

All your videos genuinely make my day ISP forever rewatching them

[@elliotloranger437]

Let us never forget the legacy of Jarl Uni Garoarsson

[@AverytheCubanAmerican]

Another great thing about being Iceland *We are number one*

[@NekogamiKun127]

*Broke:* Deus Vult! *Woke:* STRIKE THE EARTH

[@erikweltz8187]

Hey ISP. On the Hoi4 side of modding, the developers for the Old World Blues mod have announced their next big update comes out on October 23. Should have some spicy new content that would make for a nice video when the day comes. Just thought I’d put it out there

[@awkwardcultism]

Is this the sequel to defeating every army with hobbits?

[@whyareyouhere9440]

Up Next: How I Created An Overpowered Average Height Kingdom In Crusader Kings 3

[@math3000]

so literally ISP's first video minus the giants thing

[@finn4012]

No one: Literally no one: iSorrowproductions: I’m going to marry a dwarf

[@likeorasgod]

I was playing Ireland and was trying to unit Britania and all, but England was trying to beat me to Scotland. So I noticed just as my wife died in child birth that King Robert of England has an Albino Daughter about to come of age. Yep alliance, and the child if male will be the Heir to england throne. Soon as he's borne I went to war with england just after it had bleed most of it's army in the crusades.......easy victory and my son become king of england and when I did Ireland and well scotland was pretty much screwed by than. All cause I took the ALbino daughter no one wanted lol

[@rolyallen149]

It is true we like to be called "relatively compact people"

[@alonk1060]

All Isp needs do to keep us entertained is having fun

[@jackdaone6469]

"And Denmark is moving to...Islam." Oh, I didn't know you'd reached 2022, already.

[@karaltar7914]

Dawg what

[@basedbattledroid3507]

How Garðar is pronounced: "Garthar". The much better way to pronounce it: *"GUUUÜÚŪULLLLLLIERRRGAAAERRRRRRGH!!!?!!?!"*

[@paavoilves5416]

isn't that ð more like something between -th and -d ?

[@arnijonsson8651]

paavoilves like a th in the word “this”

[@comradelk9757]

10:30 throw it in the trash 2: electric boogaloo

[@atbj23]

F for the Jarl We will not forget