It didn’t have a bayonet by endersgame69 | Humans are space Orcs | HFY | TFOS923

[@AgroSquerril]

The Author of this story has a Patreon : www.patreon.com/tellingstories and a Discord : discord.gg/mPAkatrGwZ Check em out

[@conduit64]

"They keep killing until they run out of murder juice" is my new favorite HaSO line.

[@zeehero7280]

Murder juice, part of a complete terran breakfast.

[@johnrivera3291]

What's HaSO stand for?

[@richardhowells5804]

@@johnrivera3291 Humans are space Orks.

[@johnrivera3291]

@@richardhowells5804 thanks 😊

[@vrcommandoata5403]

@@johnrivera3291 Humans are Space Orks.

[@Michiganmayor420]

Humans find aliens. Humans observe aliens. Aliens find Humans. Don't know they are being observed. Aliens observe Humans. Aliens land "we come in peace look at our great tech" Humans "yea yea we know you were my kids favorite video game" Aliens "what?"

[@Crazylom]

So we based first alien shooter around actual aliens?

[@James-bw4np]

"Pay! Your weapon instantly kills them! Ours makes them scream in agony for a bit before they die. Great thing to kill enemy morale!" For the Algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm

[@KageRyuu6]

Either my gun has a knife or my arm does, can't be complete without one.

[@Michiganmayor420]

Your gun might have a knife but my knife has a gun

[@nixiejamies2330]

@@Michiganmayor420 my knife has a scope which has a knife which has a gun, parry this you filthy casual

[@zyanidwarfare5634]

@@nixiejamies2330 my gun shoots knives tho

[@battlebuddy4517]

@@zyanidwarfare5634 I use a knife to make good

[@DepressedCrow]

my knife has a bipod, checkmate

[@pfcblint3171]

Man.. I still remember being in AIT. Marines and Army learning to fix the .50 cal M2. Marine hefts it onto the work table, gets the barrel on it, looks up at the instructor and asks "where's the bayonet go?"

[@ghosty5478]

"War apes, who think guns need knives". Perfect example

[@WorldWalker128]

"Well sir, the previous user didn't want one. He wanted to use it as a club instead of a spear."

[@USS_Grey_Ghost]

@@WorldWalker128 well it is 75 pounds by it self

[@popuptarget7386]

Aberdeen?

[@shitbag_soldier]

Next opportunity I get I'm putting a bayonet over my .50 just for the picture.

[@rjhogan07]

Murder fuel has got to be the best alternative description of blood I’ve ever read/heard of

[@AgroSquerril]

choo choo

[@dreadlindwyrm]

But did we put a bayonet on the main gun of the spaceships? **Perhaps today *is* a good day to die...** ****RAMMING SPEED****

[@archdornan4389]

The Imperium of Man: Where ships have armored ramming prows, the line infantry carry lasers that can blow limbs off, and the shock troops standard rifle is an autoloading rocket assisted grenade launcher. The Imperium of Man: "Say Mon'Keigh again, I fucking dare you"...

[@thereprehensible435]

Hammer or mace would be better IMO. Knives are nice for quick blows, but for tools with momentum and mass you should prioritize smashy smashy and durability.

[@seanrobert9661]

@@archdornan4389 phoockyn far ye

[@pandaman8405]

@@thereprehensible435 what if you put a mace on a ship that spins while still having a main direction

[@techstuff9198]

@@pandaman8405 At that point you just utilize detachable flails.

[@amorphoussolid8512]

We have actually put knives on handguns but they aren't that useful. Better to use a pistol in one hand and an entrenching tool in the other. But on the bright side, if you don't frick around you won't have to find out. Peace as an option is something only a fool discounts and often not for long.

[@diooverheaven6561]

Or better you axe handgun (yes it's a thing and shadiversity made video about it)

[@amorphoussolid8512]

@@diooverheaven6561 yep, for when you have one shot and two people :)

[@TheGeorgeAtkisson]

@@amorphoussolid8512 Of course that hand axe doesn’t need to be reloaded. 😁 It’s amazing how many people will flinch at a gun, but are absolutely terrified of a blade. Guns might miss, or make a hole. That blade can open a person from @sshole to appetite in one motion.

[@Zedstein]

Put a knife on the magazine. Totally a good idea. No cut fingers ever.

[@calvingreene90]

Put an axe on the handgun. It really does work better.

[@jedrzejkoszewski4342]

"Our ships beat yours easily now, so the new games aren't as popular, but the originals are classics." I can't believe how threatening that line is. Like beating you to a pulp isn't even fun for us because of lack of challenge.

[@tachyon8317]

(Flashbacksto BCT) - "What is the spirit of the Bayonet?" "STEEL! STEEL! COLD HARD STEEL!" "What makes the green grass grow?" "BLOOD! BLOOD! BRIGHT RED BLOOD!"

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

Blood for the blood god! Skulls for the skull throne! Also fun fact they have record breaking harvests for years in battle sites after they start becoming farm land

[@n7honeybadger103]

​@Roman von ungern-sternberg Ah yes the "blood harvests" of France

[@discordweapon5495]

A golden cat once said, they don’t even fight in melee.

[@RichtorGroude1828]

i heard one of the cat"s partners has a sore forehead

[@vexingrabbit1824]

I heard that his big undead daddy was in rage when he found out they can't fight in melee.

[@Peagaporto]

AAAAAAAYAYEEEEE INSTRUMENTS OILED UP MEN

[@DepressedCrow]

god, I completely forgot about TTS, damn you GW!

[@Peagaporto]

@@vexingrabbit1824 the whole galaxy heard

[@ironworksdragon6843]

Bob the dragon guardian of the fifth tier to general agro squerril

[@Germlin]

Bob the dragon

[@magos_gladii3775]

Also I do like how it mentions that bullets were used to injure as many countries lowered calibers of weapons as a dead man would take one man out of combat but an injured man could take four or five men out of combat

[@stevedixon921]

I understand the reason but disagree with it (I'm just a useless civilian though). Bit of a mistake I think. Kill your enemy, don't just piss them off. Bayonets, for when your enemy is just not getting the point.

[@decimation9780]

@@stevedixon921 You don’t seem to understand, by wounding the enemy and taking more men out of combat, *you can close enough to impale the enemy upon your bayonets.*

[@stevedixon921]

@@decimation9780 So...wound and slow them down so you CAN use the bayonet. Fits the theme.

[@ckl9390]

@@stevedixon921 Aside from the direct requirement of taking another one to two people to remove the wounded from the battlefield, there's the rear-line support and logistics required to evacuate them and treat at a field hospital. After the field hospital, months to over a year could be spent convalescing in a hospital in the home-country, all while costing resources and manpower (even if much of the manpower is civilian at this point). Even after sufficient recovery to return home, the soldier may require ongoing care (with resources spent) and could be not considered fit to send to back to front-line service (essentially, permanently removing them from shooting back without killing them). Even if a solder returns to full capacity and able to serve at the front-line, the war may well be over by then anyway. This, of course, only applies to militaries and societies that care about their people. This equation doesn't apply as well where soldiers are expected to come back victorious or not at all. And yes, a desperate fight for survival in or dangerously near the home-land changes the calculus on what makes a soldier suitable for combat. However, generally, a military will want good specimens for foreign combat so as to have the greatest effect and reliability for the least amount of resources spent on support.

[@stevedixon921]

@@ckl9390 I get the reasoning behind the change (morale, logistics, etc). I just think if it was a case of the other side wanted me dead instead of injured I'd be better served with ammo designed to return the favor.

[@eurogryphon]

"Murder fuel"...I'm going to remember that term for later conversation.

[@AgroSquerril]

i think we all are

[@madkillerz007]

War Ape is an apt description for a Sergeant- especially a line infantry / marine Sergeant

[@crayonchomper1180]

smart xeno, they are right to be afraid also I preffer combat axes over bayonets, but Stiletto knives are nice too

[@amorphoussolid8512]

Don't forget to keep your entrenching tool sharp for cutting through, ahem, 'tree' roots and limbs ;)

[@crayonchomper1180]

@@amorphoussolid8512 also good for delivering a meaty *BONK* to the cranium of any enemy that gets to close

[@gilivanmolnarvir960]

You watched shadiversity recently? xD

[@GrimpakTheMook]

Each has its own benefits. Stilettos are nice for more pinpoint damage and can immobilise a target without killing him immediately. Deadly weapon on the right hands. Bayonet nowadays is the descendant of the venerable spear, a multipurpose weapon that requires not much training. Bayonet on a rifle makes it a short spear. Good range, but also good in CQC situations. Combat axe more on the blunt force/psychological damage end. It's big, it's, scary, and it will hurt when it hits. Worse, it can cut. Personally, I'm more on a simple spiked club, or even a morning star. You definitely know those spikes mean business, and if the trauma impact doesn't scare you, the deep, gashing penetrating wounds will. Also, it's easy to use and make.

[@xhagast]

I favor Freddie Krugger claws, but Predator twin blades are nice too.

[@calvingreene90]

Rule 1. Be very very careful about not under estimating humans, they are more capable than they look. Nor do they have a submission reflex. Rule 2. Do not worry about overestimating humans: you won't. (See rule one.)

[@GrimpakTheMook]

Rule 3. Contrary to the overwhelming majority of space faring species, humans are instinctively hotwired to fight OR flight. A cornered human can, and will, become extremely dangerous, specially if under the effect of his naturally evolved "danger glands" that will start to pump adrenaline, a forbidden combat stimulant. Yes, the humans can produce one of the most dangerous drugs known in the galaxy, and it only makes them even more lethal. Addendum : similar traits have been observed in several species of their home planet, a class 12 deathworld.

[@nicholashernandez4611]

@@GrimpakTheMook A class 12 deathworld…I’m so using that and murder juice. This has to become part of the Terran lexicon as long as humans speak.

[@Resomius]

The most dangerous thing on earth is the human lawyer. If you see a lawyer: RUN If you see a human run: try to keep pace, he is probably running from a lawyer

[@julonkrutor4649]

Every weapon need a bayonet. Its just common sence ^^

[@stuffhappens1966]

And plus they look awesome

[@garystewart2355]

Or a sturdy design so you use it as a club when you’re out of ammo

[@jaredchinchello1760]

I think the Japanese were right, putting bayonets on everything and all.

[@truekurayami]

@@jaredchinchello1760 It is very solid logic. Basic practice turns the long-barreled gun into a spear for when you are to close to properly aim or run out of ammo. Change the blade type to more like a machete and it can act as an axe or sword for striking variation. It really only gets impacticall with short-barreled guns like most pistols/handguns, snub nose, or sawed-off variations due to a lack of area to safely attach the blade to for stability or handling purposes.

[@jaredchinchello1760]

@@truekurayami Folding bayonets on carbines are also a bunch of fun, like the M44 Mosin or some of the Carcano carbines.

[@windwatcher460]

I hadn't listened to you in a while and I think your control of emphasis has improved quite a bit. You didn't fall into a pattern or constant flow and I appreciate that.

[@AgroSquerril]

thank yo , i try an improve with each video

[@anuryu3330]

To the mighty Algorithm and honorable Argo Squerril!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@dahandsomeguywithcoolglass8949]

You know I some what agree to Xeno about poison stuff *BUUUT* That make Primate a badass a little bit

[@arakheno4051]

Chester (Chesty) Puller, Col. When shown a flame thrower, was impressed, but literally asked "Looks good, but were do you put the bayonet" USMC.

[@alexs5814]

Instantly reminded me of: "Ze Iscariots? We're not scared of you! Look at you, you don't even know how to use a Bayonet. It goes on ze gun, idiot!"

[@GrimpakTheMook]

PARTY PARTY PARTY. WE'RE GONNA HAVE A PARTY!

[@tachyon8317]

I see you two are of culture as well

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

I love war . . .

[@alexs5814]

@@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus Through my life, I have discovered so many forms of war.

[@kennethhummel4409]

Need more murder fuel!!! I loved this one. Thank you for reading this story.

[@AgroSquerril]

my pleasure

[@SiegeTF]

Come in peace, or leave in pieces!

[@tophatsurgeon7469]

I think we should petition to have the word "soldier" replaced with "war ape", it fits us far better...

[@AgroSquerril]

sounds good

[@Jason-sm4oc]

I am only at chapter 32 of First Contact but you posted this ... I will have to on-line a secondary processing cluster to keep up with my research at this rate ... please moderate your output Mr Squerril some of us cannot not not absorb this sss much dattttaaa ...%%ggd ... ... ...

[@HitMeNot]

Good luck with that. I've been enthralled by it. Raltz (author) keeps writing more and more. Since I now have around 75 chapters more to read than when I started.

[@juleswild9498]

Affix bayonet. Whenever in doubt, affix bayonet.

[@scoundral2995]

“Sure a plasma rifle kills the body but a m1911 kills the soul and the morale.”

[@inquisitorwalmarius6650]

Kill Team and Templars Get your Blades ready. Guardsmen affix "knifes". Today we do the Emperors work, ridding the Galaxy of this Xeno Filth are a DIRECT DECREE from THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND!!!

[@terrorcop101]

The moment Christopher Columbus realizes he's the one being invaded.

[@lukkaredwolf3534]

Affix Shovels

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@archdornan4389]

Krieg approves

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

May the Squerril be Blessed

[@MyrdinAnnoth]

"This war primate species poisons itself for pleasure" Somewhere, in the dark recesses of space Slaanesh just went "Ooooh~" and twirled its fingers joyfully.

[@arcaneSae]

Now I wonder what an alien would think of the tobacco industry xD

[@reaper7425]

They had no bayonet because Grenade beats a bayonet in CQC.

[@kirkjones9639]

No the grenade is too indiscriminate, the bayonet and and fighting knife, tend to be preferred. An SBR is always handy also, I prefer mine in 7.62.

[@Sharkakaka]

The problem with grenades is that you can easily run out of them, unless you throw the knife or bayonet or it breaks you can't run out of them.

[@amorphoussolid8512]

Is it too much to ask for both? Possibly some other stuff as well...

[@reaper7425]

@@Sharkakaka it Isn't CQC if you throw it, There other methods. If you know what i mean.

[@reaper7425]

@@amorphoussolid8512 *BAYONET GRENADE*

[@wizzard4003]

the thumbnail implies that they turned the moon into a warship and put a bayonet on it

[@kirkjones9639]

Fur the algorerithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@JustaGaibroh]

"They kill until they run out of murder fuel." Bwahahahahahahaha!

[@sorcererberoll4641]

Reads title *Angry krieg noises*

[@ComradeCommissarYuri]

Xeno: “hello planet dirt.. we have been observing you for quite some time!”” Humans: “yeah we know” Xeno: “oh”

[@dariustiapula]

Bayonet are of the last resort and or hail Mary attack on incoming enemy.

[@James-bw4np]

They are also instinctually terrifying. Turns your rifle into a spear. It's a boomstick and a stabby stick all in one!

[@jackaubrey8614]

They're also a FIRST resort when YOU'RE the 'incoming enemy'... :)

[@dwavenminer]

@@James-bw4np yeah even in recent years there have been successful bayonet charges, successful only because the enemy was scared sh**less by it and ran away...

[@James-bw4np]

@@dwavenminer it is a psych thing. When I was in the inf, during the early 2000's they told us as much. Bayonets are to scare the sh*t out of the enemy and last resort for if you run out of ammo.

[@tachyon8317]

@@dwavenminer Didn't a squad of Marines use a bayonet charge on a bridge against the Iraqi Army in '03? IIRC, the IA ran, after dropping boat loads of crap into their trousers, I imagine, since I would do the same seeing a bunch of them screaming and running at me with knives and various shades of Crayola colors foaming at their mouths. (Army vet here, had throw in a crayon-eater joke to my crazy-ass brothers in arms)

[@windsorcorbin1005]

Humans, the future nightmare of civilized species in this galaxy or the next LOL

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@eleethtahgra7182]

Sunlight speed...more like approaching lightspeed.

[@milohobo9186]

Don't make me hopeful that we have someone smart in charge.

[@IRMentat]

Not just we, but everyone. Plus the ability to shut up, unify and advance quietly. Ah, sometimes fiction is a little too unbelievable.

[@Amyante]

To be fair, you don't go around having a bayonet mounted on your weapon at all times. The weight of it would drag the front of the gun down, messing up the balance and making it harder to hit what you're aiming for.

[@techstuff9198]

Unless the sights are adjusted for the presence of the bayonet, in which case the problem of mechanical inaccuracy is reversed.

[@Amyante]

It's not about the sights, it's about the weapon's balance. The weight of the bayonet would shift its center of gravity further down the barrel, which makes it harder to keep the gun level while firing.

[@ckl9390]

I've read several accounts of how some of the First World War rifles were more accurate with their bayonet attached. Something about resonance. Don't know how true that is though. But for the most part, yes, a bayonet does not need to be attached at all times. It was also largely a holdover from the generation of military rifles just before which were overwhelmingly still single shot. Even after cartridges were introduced it often enough took less time for you to stab back at a close opponent than reload where they could close the gap in a couple of seconds. The only reason why bayonets were still a thing with the Second World War was, due to several development and production hiccups of everyone involved, because most nations were still using rifle designs from the first one, often even the same exact specimens. And, as it turns out, the middle of a war isn't the best time to retool your critical war infrastructure, so more of the same were produced on all sides.

[@anter176]

I do believe that it's correct to say that bayonets do impact rifle handling and, if they're hung of the barrel they do change the point of impact of the rifle, thus making the zeroing be off. As for zeroing with the bayonet attached i do believe the Russians did so for their Mosin Magant rifles. But the difference doesn't really matter, at least not in a practical real situation, may end up loosing you points in target shooting though

[@memes_the_dna_of_the_soul5487]

"AFFIX BAYONETS. BE READY FOR BLOOD."

[@Maddog3060]

Didn't even get started on cluster bombs and bouncing bettys.

[@guntotingnerd8830]

Ah yes the Fuck around and find out aproach. A favorite amongst us humans.

[@Lhight85]

The gun demonstration is from the Stargate series.

[@yomogami4561]

nice i'm a fan of bayonets :) thanks for the story and narration

[@SLEPhoto]

Ah yes, war apes, hence why sergeants tend to yell "Come on you apes, do you want to live forever?"

[@YEAHKINDA]

I will now refer to my blood as Murder Juice.

[@efraim3364]

Yes...Murder Fuel

[@zeehero7280]

I don't think it's fair to be openly hostile to these aliens if their only crime thus far was spying. Maybe if the idea was make a show of force in orbit to scare them so they would not think of attacking.

[@AgroSquerril]

i think that was the case

[@Stormblessed72]

Try to scare us and we'll hit ya with the uno reverse card

[@eddiehaskell1619]

Hysterically awesome!

[@amberpelton5679]

Great story! ❤

[@thepcfd]

guns dont need knifes, knifes need guns. :D

[@SythDracous]

Thank you for the Soviet Russian perspective.

[@inquisitorwalmarius6650]

then there are several. gunblades and axes are a thing but also i do seem to recall seeing somewhere that an axegun existed but it may just have been a gunaxe.

[@merlinathrawes746]

Who watches the watchers? It is us, the watched. You won't enjoy what we learn from watching you.

[@connormielewski]

My have been the worst year to start to watch earth

[@Kareszkoma]

I love these short stories, but I feel so blue balled without the end. Is there a continuation to this?

[@AgroSquerril]

not as far as i know

[@Kareszkoma]

@@AgroSquerril NoooOooooOoooo....

[@xaviermantha63]

Thanks for the story.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@adrgs12]

Algorithm is digital orc

[@MrSnuggles25]

First time watching live

[@AgroSquerril]

nice , hope you enjoyed

[@deathhog]

This one is a little too much on the "Humanity is good, but aliens are dumb!" side.

[@IRMentat]

I’d say the opposite. The aliens were smart enough but no one blabbing on earth despite the Internet is abnormally circumspect

[@Atma_Weapon]

i dont actually need a bayonet on my gun. if, for any reason, my gun stops working, i will use it to clobber the enemy.

[@BrownieBatterKing]

Pog

[@sdeawsa]

Algorithm be proud!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@lukkaredwolf3534]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@adamglover6948]

For the algorithm

[@kingnothing8570]

for the youtube gunk.

[@AgroSquerril]

for the gunk

[@strycian]

To be honest, I was hoping for a Super Mario Bros., Doom, or maybe a SMASH joke.

[@adrianroed2178]

I don't really like how the humans reacted in this one. The con was cool but why attack the aliens? They literally just waited until we had warp tech and then went to say hi.

[@alexandercry5585]

Theyre not attacking. Visiting them doesn't automatically mean hostility. It's like having a neighbor that you've never talked or interacted with, one day they come to see you, the next day you visit them

[@KumaChikara]

They weren't going to threaten the aliens homeworld, just like they did to Earth. No attack, just telling them we're not to be fucked with.

[@dreadlindwyrm]

"Hi guys. Just so you know, we built a navy. Would you like to trade with us on peaceful and reasonably equal terms?" :D

[@bunnybootsink9258]

@adrian roed It's called gun boat diplomacy. It worked very well on the Japanese until they modernized.

[@adrianroed2178]

​@@bunnybootsink9258 Yea and that involved all-out war and dropping two nuclear bombs. You don't move your entire fleet to another nation's capital to peacefully negotiate. You do so to either blockade or invade. And it's especially stupid since they have no knowledge of how big the enemy fleet is, sure they have information about how strong individual ships are, but for all the humans know the ships they have seen are scout ships and the aliens part of a multi-planet empire outnumbering them 100 to 1. It is a stupid move to move your entire fleet to the alien homeworld, even if it doesn't start war earth is now undefended.

[@anthonysmith5321]

Your voice rocks

[@AgroSquerril]

only when i gargle em

[@Krieger--sh7vn]

LIKES FOR THE LIKE GOD COMMENTS FOR THE ALGORITHM

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@nos2342]

To please the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm

[@LeonidSaykin]

bayonets were only used because our guns were crap and our soldiers had the aim of a stormtrooper

[@allenmorgan1007]

FtA, FtA(s), FtDV!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@Do_You_Like_Beans]

knives are amazing killed 5 people with a knife as soon as i got my hands on a gun i couldn't kill a thing in short you can fight god with a knife but you cant fight him with a gun

[@karlhamoy3919]

😃

[@rlbadger1698]

ok

[@hollyferay8131]

Hehehe sweet

[@Sharkakaka]

F.T.A.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@undrachvrsage]

Algorithm enhancement comment

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@Bdady74]

Algorithm appeasement comment

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@merlinwizard1000]

261st, 20 January 2023

[@SomeGuy-gc8zs]

Your voice reminds me of nobody so much as Baldemort.

[@AgroSquerril]

interesting

[@tachyon8317]

Ah, yes. Baldermort. The one that swore to destroy Garry Potter of prophecy.

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@adamglover6948]

For the algorithm

[@sparkycat3068]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm