'It’s Not That Deep': Casual Dating, Situationships and Hook-Up Culture

Gather round sisters - in today’s episode we take on the controversial state of the dating streets, and the real impact of the rise of casual dating and hookup culture on women of today. Is the new found, no-strings attached approach really hitting, or is there some issues for the girlies lurking beneath the surface?
Renee's LinkedIn: / reneekapuku
Courtney's LinkedIn: / courtneydaniellaboateng
Courtney's KZbin Channel: ‪@CourtneyDaniella‬
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At heart, To My Sisters is the fast-growing digital sisterhood founded to help women across the world draw from the community to manifest their greatest ambitions.
Primarily focused on personal development and business/entrepreneurship, To My Sisters is unique in its kind by offering women the space for holistic wellness, growth and healing. From dealing with past trauma to setting up your next business venture, TMS is the one-stop destination for women looking to break the boundaries of what is seen as possible in our time.
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/ reneekapuku
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/ reneekapuku
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#tomysisters

[@orangeblossom5362]

Why invest time in a person you dont like just for their money, when can invest the same time in yourself and make your own money

[@lizd6886]

While I don't necessarily agree with the sister, investing in yourself with someone else's money is a lot easier than investing time in yourself? It's a shortcut that I'm sure a lot of people would be comfortable with

[@orangeblossom5362]

@@lizd6886 Money is a form of control. And she never said anything about investing in herself with his money; just that she's sczred not marrying someone who can financially support her.

[@delmaragrant4738]

@@lizd6886 03 w

[@MightyIntellectual]

Period

[@jasminejohnson4707]

It’s Renee laughing at the dilemma for me lol

[@SuperBjagger]

Minute 46, Ms Courteney hit the nail on the head. I feel like the "sexual liberation" that women presumably have is an oxymoron, and giving men access to a buffé of options to a point where they have no need to commit 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@copiouscat]

🎯🎯 Boom. More than just access atp they feel even more entitled yet more enabled to to not commit like you said because of the endless option. A lot of todays Men rhetoric: “arent you sexually liberated? If so then have sex with me just because I’m giving you a chance & ‘possibility’ but I don’t want to commit” 🙃🙃

[@angum8264]

It's a struggle out here, I've been online dating for a few months now and have had 3 offers of "situationships". They give me an allowance, they pay for shopping trips and other personal items, they pay for flights and fuel. I just have to make myself available to them whenever they need it. Shocked is an understatement the first time I got that message, then confusion, then anger. People are becoming too comfortable and the lines are so blurred. I have no issues with casual dating/hookups but this is something else.

[@dndjsjwinxsn7310]

That’s a sugar daddy babe these women in situations are getting a wet ass and a dry purse

[@Kim-sv7pe]

@@dndjsjwinxsn7310never laughed so hard

[@okhelasigwela2062]

Man, I am so grateful I found TMS just as I have started navigating my 20s! This conversation came just after I broke up with someone I really liked because we had fundamental differences about sex and why it's so deep for me. I followed my gut feeling (and conviction from God) to let him go because I would much rather be with someone who fully understands the sacredness of the deed and not just their "gratification" from it. Wow wow, thank you beautiful ladies! I feel so validated and seen. Much love, from South Africa 🌸💓💓💓💓

[@rosetheking]

🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦

[@estheraddo5437]

This is gooodddd

[@iracundasgirl998]

I think the main issue with casual sex for women is that it comes from a place of rejection rather than acceptance. I mean if the only reason I allow myself to have casual sex it's because "men do that", there's something wrong and I will not partake in that. Most women I know want to have sex but with a special one, so I assume we mainly want casual sex in a type of relationship, hence we get cut up in situationships. As you mention, many of us believe that "yeah let's have sex for now cause I'm sure he'll change his mind about us later", well girls let's stop lying to ourselves they don't want the relationship... the serious you want. I always advise my girls who don't believe in abstinence or celibacy to only do it with a man that is invested in their relationship. Even some (many) Christians no longer wait until marriage to do it, but they try to make things "right". Even though I don't agree with that, I still think it's better than being intimate with someone who doesn’t care about you. Sex being the consequence of your bond is always better than sex being the reason for it.

[@yawaokaidja2262]

This was a great conversation. We really do underestimate the joy, peace and art of simple relationships.

[@AudAkos]

I was seeing a guy for 7 or 8 years but was not official (not realising til later that it was a situationship). It hurt me because i expected more and he ghosted me. This video came at the right time since im taking time to know myself properly before jumping into romance quickly.

[@sumring12]

SO SO GOOD. You all touched on alot of good points. I genuinely appreciate the distinction between what is normalized and healthy bc it is often miscontrued in our generation!! Dating causal is not inherently bad as long as you are doing so in a healthy way and not sharing intimate pieces of yourself with everyonee. **** I'd love to hear more about how to date confidently, how to present yourself without adjusting etc, how to answer first date questions etc.*** I feel like dating is tricky and the girls that know how to date have the most fun,while the rest of us feel defeated or jaded. LOVE YALL.

[@Denise_Cocoa]

I needed this. I used to be so guilty of envisioning every man I dated as my husband that I didn’t enjoy the process and put undue stress on the situation because my expectations were so high. Took a while to undo that mindset.

[@lexij2911]

Great episode as always! I'm currently casually dating and it's been a positive experience overall. I'm learning a lot about my preferences, standards, and boundaries, and it's showing me what qualities that I want (and don't want) in a partner. It's also teaching me how to communicate my needs and desires to my partners, as well as how to accept feedback and listen to what they want out of the relationship.

[@afrikurl]

I just want to share sex with someone who is mutually monogamous, and we are in a respectful, loving, committed relationship. Is that too much to ask for?

[@MyAfropuff]

Girl....👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾😩

[@ECRT1]

Renee not you creasing like that 😂😂😂

[@mickey98910]

I👏🏾LOVE👏🏾THIS👏🏾EPISODE👏🏾. You both beautifully touched on both sides with equal weight and discussion. The knowledge and wisdom is mind-blowing, what a wow!

[@AboutShanice]

This was a great episode! Since turning 30 I realised that I've put so much pressure on myself to date to marry and just like Courtney said, rushing to get to the romance without developing a friendship first and asking the question if this person is right for me. Rather I would romanticise the person and the situation (in other words, setting myself up for disappointment) and then wonder why the situation never worked and why I'm back to square one lol sigh I exhaust myself! But enlightenment is a beautiful thing and so is self awareness. So thank you for touching on this subject because it is real! God bless you both for the wisdom shared and I pray that your channel will continue to reach a wider audience in Jesus name x

[@mio-xh1ln]

I've had a horrible day, thinking about a past situationship and today's episode really helped me calm down. I feel like you spoke to my heart. Genuinely, thank you so much sisters, you're a blessing. Sending much love and hugs your way

[@penelopesiwela]

YOU CAN'T TRIAL AND ERROR HUMAN BEINGS 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@ladybccesar7582]

I do believe casual dating is beneficial to people who are just starting the dating scenes. It helps you be comfortable with dating to me.

[@sandy-bc2to]

Absolutely. I think its important to date a few people to see what fits you and what you actually want. When I started dating I didn’t have a clue what was going on. And going straight into a long term relationship at that time would have been a huge mistake I think. Plus it is fun

[@tequilaloversufi3363]

I’m single

[@happygucci5094]

I think this is very personal to the individual- if there is any trauma and abuse history that has not been worked through- liberation and transgressive practice might be a form of retraumatization. I do think unpacking sexist, misogynistic, respectability, desirability politics surrounding the sex life of women…black women in particular is VITAL.

[@sincerelyels]

Currently finding myself in the worst possible situationship with my housemate and I know how bad it is for me, and I know I should put an end to it, but it’s like you said rather than seeing it for what it is currently, I can’t help focusing on a false sense of future between us. I’m a fearful avoidant and he’s a dismissive avoidant, so basically a bad mix… But this episode was soooo good and I loved every second of it 🥺💕

[@kareecenelson2525]

Whew Chile that's a horrible mix....please leave

[@sincerelyels]

@@kareecenelson2525 I know right, thank you 🥺🙏

[@heychrisss_]

honestly man i love these women 😭

[@Nyangara.]

I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. You ladies give so much grace and perspective in your advice and content. I absolutely love it. You can always tell it's coming from a place of love.

[@olivegold1]

wowww. you both are so wise! i am so happy to have found you guys, you get me! dropped soo many gems !

[@SweetNeece23]

i really would love a sugar baby episode. i love you both so much! thank you for the insight, integrity, enlightenment, entertainment and authenticity. you both are so wise and hilarious! sending you so much love and hugs 🤗 🧡🥰

[@charmainen7824]

Amazing episode, pen & pad warranted for this one guys!

[@gabrielarolande5259]

I love love loveeee this podcast 👏🏾🙌🏾 Touched on so many points

[@Osomote]

First!!!!! Love you guys ❤

[@happygucci5094]

I am so grateful for this… new sub

[@keishad.6115]

Love this episode!

[@GabrielleNsambu]

"Just because men have been able to do it and they seemed to have held power, it doesnt make it good" THANK YOUUUU!

[@EshaBby444]

This was such a great episode!

[@ThugDrina]

You are PREACHING! My god I have a shout.

[@vashawnlove]

Y’all cracking up in the background during the dilemma lmfaoo

[@THECHICHIHUB]

Can I ask, what microphone are you guys using

[@penelopesiwela]

Thank you ❤️

[@Abimbola.Abioye]

You cannot trial and error human beings!!!!! Wow

[@toristephens7208]

Man the. Suga baby relationships girrrl

[@aniekanakai]

38:00 💯💯💯💯💯

[@malabady7290]

⚘MS COURTNEY⚘ AND🌸 MS RENEE 🌸ARE FIIIRREE🔥🌍🎥🎬🌿

[@shoshanakirya-ziraba8216]

If you're over 30 want to marry, you need to let them know on the 2nd date. Let guys know to miss you with situationship.

[@godlovesusall8115]

it's René's jawline for meeee

[@phee_lon]

👏🏾💯!

[@Simply_ybs_]

It feels more personal and relatable watching them than listening to them 🥺😭😭😩🫶🏾