It's Time to Change Your Relationship with Food (Former Obese Person)

If you really want to be successful in your weight loss journey, you need to change your relationship with food. In this week's episode of 'Walk With Me' I'm sharing the mental changes I've experienced after losing 145lbs and how my relationship with food has changed post weight loss. Let's get into it!
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Josh Fenn
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Portland, OR 97296
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[@joshfenn]

Hope everyone has a great week, stay strong! 💪👍

[@JDR810]

I used to be the guy that everyone would have plan trips because I would always plan everything around places to eat. I now plan out my food for the trip so I dont have to worry about finding healthy places to eat. I grab my protein bar and I am good to go. I have been in a bit of a funk the past week or so. Michigan weather has changed cold and it has me and my body trying to go into hibernation mod. Seem to be hungry all the time. I am working though it and this video couldn't have come at a better time. I am for the most part now a food for fuel guy but used to be 100% entertainment. Thanks Josh. Have a great week.

[@joshfenn]

Very similar situation to mine! My sister and I were both always like that, researching restaurants for months at a time before a trip, haha. I still do that somewhat but exploring a new place and walking around experiencing the environment is much more of the focus these days over the food. Right with you on the weather change! It's been cooling down quite a bit in Oregon as well, my schedule these days usually keeps me on my toes though. Hang in there, I'm sure you'll be feeling like yourself again soon. Don't forget to get some vitamin D supplements or one of those blue lights, makes a big difference when the weather gets dreary. Might be making a video on the subject soon, hoping to at least. :)

[@minicake400]

king

[@joshfenn]

Thanks so much, that means a lot! Been really happy with everything lately, always trying to improve. :)

[@jessicaalfaro4617]

I relate to this so much. I have 40 pounds to lose and I only succeed when I consistently focus on fueling not indulging

[@joshfenn]

It’s a big mindset shift but you can get there!

[@faythegmiller]

Thank you for sharing this. I have the worst relationship with food. I eat when I am emotional or bored. I use food to help me cope and it has honestly put me in a place where I am no longer comfortable with my body. I have been looking for a place to start my dieting but I realize that it is all beginning with my desire and satisfaction as it pertains to food. Once i change my relationship with food then I can have a concrete change in the way i look at food and my relationship with it and a great foundation for my weightless journey.

[@joshfenn]

Glad you are starting to make those realizations, it’s a big first step! It’s a lifetime work in progress for me but significant change around this is definitely possible based on my experience. Good luck and keep at it!

[@diamond_kendra]

@@joshfenn Honestly, I share in her same relationship with food. I am currently over 250 lbs and I want to get to 160, but no matter how much I excercise or do any diets, I will never lose wieght because my relationship with food is screwed up.

[@sayeednmb]

Josh, thank you for this. Sometimes I need to be reminded that food is for fuel not entertainment or replacement for something missing.

[@joshfenn]

Glad it was helpful! Food for ‘fun’ can be okay on occasion but I think sometimes we can go a bit too far without realizing it

[@summerlyric506]

Your intro words are JUST what I was searching for. I'm all ears.

[@joshfenn]

Glad to hear it!

[@user-fe8hz3gr4v]

Great, lovely, inspiring talk! Well done Josh!

[@joshfenn]

Thanks so much for the support!

[@briandrumgold642]

Your awesome brother!! This is just what I needed. Thanks my friend 😊

[@joshfenn]

So happy to hear that, thanks so much for the support!

[@sarajohn6855]

What an awesome video! So well explained. Balance is the key. Thank you for sharing.

[@joshfenn]

No problem, thanks for the support!

[@claytondineen6551]

Great video Josh! Honestly couldn’t relate more to this subject. Something I am still struggling with and constantly working on. But I feel this subject isn’t looked at enough in the weight loss community. And would love to bring some light to it. Keep up the great work!

[@joshfenn]

Thanks so much for the support, it's definitely an important one to cover! Probably doesn't come up as much as it should just because it's not as flashy of a subject, and most of us that have channels and help others are still working on it ourselves. It's a good thing to keep in the brain though to remember as day to day situations come up, it just hit me a few weeks ago and I thought of making the video. Glad you enjoyed it!

[@richnoe19]

Thanks for your thoughts. It really opens the mind and get me thinking more about my life and how my life has been

[@joshfenn]

So glad to hear that! I feel like sometimes I have these big personal realizations and sometimes have a tough time putting it into words for all of you.

[@minicake400]

for me : busy day means i eat for fuel . weekend/ free day means i think a lot more about food and what i will be eating for my meals and most of the times i end up going a little overboard :)

[@joshfenn]

That's a really similar mentality to how I do things now! If I know I'm just busy and working I'll just have whatever the healthiest or low calorie option is, and I save my calories for times when I know I'll really be able to enjoy them. It's been working really well for me also.

[@CPSLondon]

Spot on.... it’s also how my mother expressed love for her children. Food was more entertainment than fuel for the entire family.

[@joshfenn]

I think that's the case for most of us, I know I see the same behaviors I've been trying to correct in some of my friends and family members. It's tough to get past sometimes with situations like that because it's usually so well-intentioned from the family. We've just all gotta keep working at it though, thanks so much for the support on this one!

[@maggiejoadkins2791]

Approachable insightful helpful, thank you

[@joshfenn]

Glad to hear that!

[@rubenportugues7811]

As always great advice 🙌🙌🙏🙏

[@joshfenn]

Appreciate the support!

[@kaylahutchison90]

Another great video !!

[@joshfenn]

Thanks so much for the support!

[@leecaldwell1029]

My shift towards food for fuel vs food for entertainment has really just been in truely understanding what the body needs. I went to maui for 10 days and lost weight because i made smart decisions every time at every meal. It would have been easy to have free drinks, endless desserts, but with access to so much fresh seafood, exotic vegetables. It was so easy to enjoy the vacation without compromise from the entertainment aspect.I truely believe that so many individuals just arent educated on what they should be eating and what quantities. The marketing of the world wants us to consume, consume, consume. My least favorite phrase is "comfort food" because usually that means it is unhealthy, but okay....

[@joshfenn]

Couldn't agree more! Once I started to have a better grasp on how many calories I should consume and how many calories are in certain types of foods and different quantities of things it all got much easier. Glad you had a good time on your trip though, thanks so much for the support!

[@grai]

I'm in the process of changing my whole mental attitude towards food for a long time it's been my friend, lover, drug of choice, my everything And yet I go on cruise control when I shop and when I cook and despite my devotion to food I eat it quickly and don't really taste it or enjoy it or think about it it's just a fix for an addiction so I'm really given a lot of Hope from your videos because you're somebody who has changed this and kept it changed which is what I really want to do I'd love to get to a point in my mind where food is not the reason to get out of bed Thanks for the 8am start Josh! Really appreciate your hard work xx

[@joshfenn]

You'll definitely get there! This has been many years in the making for me, and I wouldn't consider myself an expert or anything. I still have the same issues from time to time but I notice it far less these days. You've made some great strides though, and recognizing when those situations pop up around you is a big step in consciously choosing something different for comfort or enjoyment where food otherwise would have been. Keep up the good work and thank you for the support as always!

[@stervii]

This video came at a perfect time for me...thanks, Josh! We're about to head to Memphis this weekend, and I'm trying to think how I'll handle the indulgent food/drink I'm bound to come across. I'm hoping to be mindful of what and how much I'm eating, so as to enjoy myself without going overboard. In general, I feel the "shift" you mentioned, happening in my mind, where I am able to eat the same low calorie items every day for breakfast and lunch without burn out, as those are my "mindless" meals. Then at dinner, when I can appreciate what I'm eating, I indulge a little more, but focus on portion control. Have a great week and keep up the awesome work!

[@joshfenn]

It sounds like you're approaching things exactly like I try to as well, I'm sure you'll do great! For trips and vacations I usually allow myself to eat what i'd like but really try and minimize the portions if I know I'm going to be eating out all day. Works pretty well most of the time, especially knowing if I gain a pound or something on vacation I'm comfortable and confident enough to take it off once I'm back from the trip. Have fun in Memphis though! I've been to Nashville with my band a few years back but never made it to Memphis. :)

[@christentaranto7253]

First I would like to start off by saying "Hello". This is the first video of your channel that I have watched & so far I'm hooked. I'm trying to lose some weight myself & so far I haven't been motivated enough to do so. So, I came across this video unexpectedly & I am so happy that I did. I would rather watch weight loss videos by someone who understands obesity because they have gone through it. People like you understand the reasons behind this issue because you've been there & done that. I will learn alot from you. Thank you. I am a new subscriber to your channel. Have a great day! : )

[@joshfenn]

Welcome to the channel and thank you so much for the support and kind words! It definitely helps with teaching having gone through it myself, most of these videos are just directed at my former overweight self and I assume enough others struggled with the same things as I did. Always around the channel if questions come up along the way though, congrats on getting things started with your weight loss!

[@vincent82486]

Love this video thanks

[@joshfenn]

Glad to hear it, thanks so much for the support!

[@TheMrLappis]

I went through that "shift" as well. I don't eat because I want to anymore, I know I have to eat 3 times a say (my personal preference) so I make sure to make those three the healthiest meals of the day. I don't experience the "food for energy" though. Every time I eat I get SUPER tired. I did blood tests and checked blood pressure, everything is fine. I don't know. I can eat mixed green veg and it will put me out for an hour or more. Terrible. You're right about the relationship with food. It can't be the highlight of the day anymore. Great video man. Keep it up! :)

[@joshfenn]

That's so interesting to hear about the energy change after eating, I wonder what the cause could be. Usually you would see that happen with really high carb meals or something but the fact that it's happening with any food has gotta be tough. Glad you got everything sorted out though, thanks so much for the support!

[@RickMartinYouTube]

Highly agree Josh. Got to look at food as an energy source (like how much gas you need in the gas tank) rather than a reward/source of entertainment. And with Thanksgiving Day coming, this is a problem time for folks trying to lose wt. The energy outlook became a way I looked at eating when I played tennis and started running long distances ---thinking or either replacing energy or preparing the body for a the workout so I'd need enough energy/gas.

[@joshfenn]

Absolutely! It's been a multi-year change mentally for me on the fuel vs entertainment, but I feel so much more comfortable with the balance than I ever used to. It's the classic 'you are what you eat' scenario, haha. Thanks for the support though, have a great week!

[@ImMisterEric]

As much as I dig the content of your videos (I've always loved the style in which you shoot), I still catch myself checking out the background knowing (roughly) where you are walking. :) Food for me has always been a problem. When I finally started paying closer attention to my body and the food I was putting into it, especially when I switched to a whole food plant-based lifestyle, my attitude toward food became that of -- I need it so whatever I eat shall always be as nutritious as possible. Every month I find myself changing toward a healthier relationship with myself and the food I put into my body. My only challenge now is movement on a consistent basis to help with the weight loss. For me, it is really tough by myself, even though I am motivated to do it. One step at a time.

[@joshfenn]

Haha, I don't blame you for that! Especially with living so close by when you did, I'm sure it brings up some fond memories walking around. That's why I love filming them out there too, it's just such a beautiful neighborhood. That relationship with food is always going to be a work in progress for any of us that have struggled I'm sure, I know it's always evolving and changing as my knowledge and general life changes over time. With trying to add in any sort of routine with the movement and exercise, just make an effort to start small and focus on consistency. Some form of accountability also helps too, bets with friends or a post on social media or something. People around here in the comments I'm sure could help keep you in check. :) Appreciate the support as always though. thanks for sharing!

[@ChristianDurusTelamon]

I have never thought about food in this light before, and now that you spoke about it this way I realize I am 100% in the food as entertainment. I think that is the hardest part of dieting for me when I feel like I can't eat all the food I want to while I'm watching TV or hanging out with my friends. That's going to be a big struggle once I end the diet for me.

[@joshfenn]

It's definitely a newer realization for me, but I was in the same boat as you. Those different situations will probably still be really tough eating at a calorie deficit, but in maintenance I do find I have a lot of flexibility to work with in my calories where I can still feel like I'm not going without and I'm still enjoying myself. The struggle gets lesser over time, I had a really hard time with it early on. Probably a mix of knowledge and the mental changes now but it's not something I have to worry about much anymore if that gives you some hope. :)

[@ChristianDurusTelamon]

@@joshfenn It will be interesting for sure - I am already at 2k calories and think I am going to need to drop more soon, which will make for a very tough fight getting back to maintenance without overshooting.

[@000_x9]

often feel "gyped" if my meal does not taste good. even though i know it was pretty healthy. once i got past abusing food i.e. attacking it and shoveling it in for some pending unconnected reason. this approach makes allot of sense and is a more mature way of looking at food. very often i could characterize my eating as immature; i.e. acting like a whiny baby if i dont get what i want when i want. how much i want and not being satisfied. that sounds like a kid to me. coincidentally, i saw my dad exhibit the same behavior around food.

[@joshfenn]

I think our families have a big impact on a lot of this stuff! I still see a lot of my old behaviors from the people I grew up around since making some of these realizations. Recognizing these things though and starting to make those changes are be aware of them s a big step forward. Keep working at it and iit will get better, thanks so much for sharing on the topic!

[@albocaj5975]

Thanks Josh. The shift in mentality is mastered when you can ear a doughnut or a big fast food chain burger and not feel bad because you already live healthy. A soda drink is an isolated treat instead of belonging to your grocery list or constantly in your fridge.

[@joshfenn]

Absolutely! Appreciate the support on this one 👍👍

[@coleyounger1985]

For me... I still eat out of habit I think. More recently I have found myself “reverting” back to what I used to do. I’m not sure why! I know I shouldn’t but I do. This struggle is real, even after 8 months of trying to change my habits!

[@joshfenn]

It definitely gets better over time, try not to stress too much about it. This sort of stuff was years in the making for me and I still struggle from time so don't feel too bad for not being 'fixed' or anything. You're aware that it's happening at least and thats a great step towards figuring out why and how to change it. :) Keep up the good work and thank you for the support!

[@coleyounger1985]

Thank YOU for posting! I’m a work in progress. Started in January and i’m down 90 +/- lbs. I have been stuck here for a few weeks. My motivation has went out the window and since that has happened I have found myself reverting back to old habits. Not on a regular basis, but when its more convenient I think. I am not so much hing on on the “weight” anymore as I am in how I feel so I think that is good. I appreciate your videos man. Thanks again.

[@himurakenshin5380]

i'm 26 and I'm 330 pounds. my 27th birthday is coming up. I was 394 pounds but have lost a good chunk of weight by cycling. recently I've lost the motivation. thanks for posting this.

[@joshfenn]

Just keep at it and it’ll come back, progress and motivation always comes in waves. Congrats on your progress so far though!

[@RaRa-jz3xe]

Oh my, I had an instructor who said, eating is not my recreation." I remember those words from about 30yrs ago.

[@joshfenn]

Well said!

[@robthewaywardwoodworker9956]

"Shift happens"! True story! LOL

[@joshfenn]

Haha, so true!

[@JH-in5oq]

When you decide what to eat for dinner what is the primary factor? If it’s taste you’ll always be fat. These are my priorities when deciding what to eat. #1 It has to be relatively clean. Meat, carb, and veggies for the most part. #2 It has to be inexpensive. I have financial goals so I’m not buying stuff at Whole Foods. I don’t get organic grass fed meat. I buy ground beef and chicken breast in bulk. Eating clean is SUPER cheap if you keep it simple. #3 I make it taste as good as I can without superseding priorities 1 & 2. My wife and I spend maybe $500 a month on groceries for us and our 1 year old.

[@joshfenn]

Sounds like a solid plan, glad it’s working well for you!

[@reloads223]

BIG PROBLEM - eating for confront and entertainment

[@joshfenn]

Yeah, I think a lot of us who are/were overweight struggle with that in some way. As long as we keep working on it though that's all we can expect of ourselves. Thanks for the support on this one!

[@alexgreen1913]

It seems like when you lose weight you become visible. I want to hang out with people :(

[@SandraKinyanjuiMUA]

Struggling with overeating

[@MrMEGa776]

Wonderful quality 😍😍😍 cinematic 😎🔈 i played it twice once to see quality and hear background music and the other to see the entire video hahaa😅😎 i felt it a scene from interstellar movie 🌟

[@joshfenn]

That's an awesome compliment, thanks so much! The full song I used is a little sad but really haunting and beautiful. "Kettering" by the Antlers if you're interested, the whole album is excellent.

[@MrMEGa776]

beardedfatloss thanx so much 😃

[@jessicaheinz3604]

Back ground music is distracting

[@joshfenn]

Been working a lot on my audio mixing since this came out, I appreciate the feedback!

[@YOULOOTWESHOOT101]

I totally disagree ! Your video was perfect man keep it up and thank you very much for your valuable time.

[@pamwoodsome620]

Food as a dopamine booster…sigh

[@joshfenn]

Yeah it’s a tough mindset to change, finding suitable alternatives is necessary I think.