Its Been 5 Months Since My Wife Passed - How are We? Grief Journey

P.O. Box
Jenny Appleford or Kyle Appleford
7211 Haven Ave, Unit E-407
Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91701
Kyle’s Channel:
/ @kyleapple9702
INSTAGRAM: jenny_appleford
INSTAGRAM: kyoooooapple
FACEBOOK: Our Brave Jenny
For business inquiries: [e-mail] or [e-mail]
DIAGNOSIS:
March 19th, 2021 Stage IIIA Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (Non-Smoking)
February 2022 Stage IV Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (spreading to Brain, and other parts of lung and lymph nodes)
Gene Mutation EGFR with Exon 20 Insertion
TREATMENTS: Received or currently Receiving
2021: 8 Rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin and Paclitaxel) with 30 concurrent radiation treatments to chest and lung
Failed Immunotherapy directly after Chemo and Radiation (Durvalumab, 1 round)
2022: Chemotherapy
10 rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin, Alimta, and Avastin)
6 with Carboplatin, 4 without
Targeted Brain Radiation (Completed)
Most Recent Treatment plan, prior to passing:
Whole Brain and Spine Proton Therapy (Radiation) 13 sessions
Clinical Trial Medication NOLA
The purpose of my channel is to document my cancer journey to look back on, and/or help anyone else going through anything similar. It is also to potentially help loved ones supporting those who are in this fight as well. This is also an easy way to update a lot of people at once. My main goal is to have footage of this journey for my husband and children to look back on. I originally created this channel as a sort of video diary for my
family.
Thank you so much for following along on this journey. Your love and support help me so much.

[@D3Hearts]

We never stop grieving someone we love, we just learn to live with it.

[@CATNAPREAL1188]

Having been 23 year's this past January since myself and my teenage children watched my 39 year old husband drop dead right in front of us I can Honestly say this is the Truest comment in this comment section. Thanks for keeping it Honest. It Never gets better you just learn to live with it.

[@LizaFergison]

@@CATNAPREAL1188 What an awful experience for you and your children. Be proud of yourself for managing to move forward. I lost my beloved younger brother to suicide. It crashed my heart. I felt deep guilt for not foreseeing his agony. In time I recognised that he had hidden his depression from everybody but his doctor. People think time should make everything okay again. Time helps us to create a new normal, when we laugh, have fun, and carry on. However, there is always a place in our hearts that is devoted to the special person we lost.

[@CATNAPREAL1188]

@LizaFergison Absolutely Correct! Take Care!

[@JK-tq4qf]

Exactly. It's just like a bruise on the heart that doesn't really go away. :(

[@D3Hearts]

@@CATNAPREAL1188 Thank YOU

[@hippiegirl5167]

It does get better. I got remarried after my husband passed away . It took a few years but although I still have the memories and moved on with this life God gave me. I’m sure Jenny would like to see you happy

[@Nira39]

So happy you found love again. I hope that in time he will too.

[@naomijones8564]

So happy you found love again, to share your next chapter with, life is not about replacing just adding chapters to the book and that's beautiful, I'm sure kyle has many fabulous chapters ahead for his book as it were ❤

[@cynthiajones9540]

I am 9 years into losing my husband to cancer! I have not dated or even looked. When you’ve had the best, you don’t need the rest.

[@johnadona3014]

You don’t move on, you live with it the rest of your life

[@Value1lady]

Yes Jenny told him she wants him to have someone again one day and be happy of course he will always have good memories of her and will always love her! Moving on in the future will be soooo good for them. No one will ever take Jennys place as a mom no one but will definitely be good for them to have a mommy figure around one day. Jenny will be so happy as well. ❤❤

[@Tami_L96]

"Huckle, Huckle, we don't bite tails, sweetie. Thank you, love".😄 I love how he talks to Huckle and Flower like they're human children. 💞

[@cowgirlup5402]

I know, he’s so cute.

[@debbiecrum7585]

I agree. Kyle is so sweet.

[@britty23]

You can tell he's a teacher ❤

[@deedeeturner6577]

Lol. I was laughing so hard. He is such a kind human.

[@MaddieBullock]

“We don't eat rocks, baby.” 😂❤️

[@sandracarr5824]

My Wonderful Mom passed away the same day as Jenny 5th November 23, of the same cancer too, and the 5th of every month is extra hard, I wll forever miss my Beautiful Mom. Xx

[@user-gy7ym3ik8x]

Very sorry for your loss

[@ChasingRainbows67]

Sorry for your loss. I will be 57 this year and I still have both of my parents. I'm so blessed!! I'm honestly dreading when that day may come. I know that it will. God Bless you. I hope you find peace and comfort.

[@TracyGilmeister]

I am so sorry for your loss, prayers going out to you. My dad has passed from cancer been over 6 years, still miss him every day.

[@susanfleming496]

So sorry for the loss of your mother ❤

[@Person2xc]

So sorry for your loss Me to dad has passed 10 month ago No thing help me like read the quran and prayer

[@user-qx4yg1tp9i]

You never get over losing someone you love, you just learn to live with it.

[@vdeniceeckert3494]

Said perfectly.

[@shazza4]

That's it in a nutshell ❤

[@juliedidlinger6638]

Yup….you learn how to live with the pain….not so raw as it was

[@BloomingRaw]

Crazy that it’s already been 5 months. We miss her so much. She was such a light ✨❤️

[@jennyapple4704]

She truly was

[@allysoncouncil2833]

Yes jenny was a beautiful bright shining light and I am so grateful that I stumbled upon her page one day and clicked on the video. She truly touched my heart and many others as well. She was a beautiful person inside and out and the world was a better place with jenny in it. She definitely left her mark (in such a beautiful way) on so many people all around the world. Of course I didnt have the privilege of knowing her personally but she really touched my heart and made me want to be a better person. The world needs more people like Jenny.

[@melindaharrington7588]

​@allysoncouncil2833 Amen, to all of that.

[@marialiebmann-roth2565]

@@jennyapple4704 ♥♥♥

[@MarcelCarter-ku2xi]

Hi my name is marcel carter from Chicago. may God bless you and grant you significant strength that you may be able to endure these hard times and also that your wife's memories will stay alive within your heart like a burning candle. God bless you take care.​@@jennyapple4704

[@janetwright5326]

My brother died on the 5th of December of cancer he was 43 ,i have been following u for over a year and you have helped me so much .

[@sarahcrain8083]

God bless you.

[@user-gy7ym3ik8x]

So sorry for your loss.

[@dlfaith]

Sorry ... May you be blessed with good memories forever in your Heart

[@user-sk2px6ox7m]

So sorry

[@ebobaya123]

Sorry for your loss.

[@annabarbour9903]

My husband passed on 17th October 2023. We were married over fifty years. My worst time is night when it’s bedtime. Even coming into an empty house is terrible. I am like you now. I feel better today than I did yesterday.,but I miss him terribly.

[@elizabethbaldwin8488]

❤

[@kathleenmcelroy9221]

50yrs...wow....I hope you can find healing & peace eventually...❤ x

[@MagdalenaGniatczynska]

So sorry for your loss. Wow 50 years! Congrats!

[@shaedenise407]

🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@autobotdiva9268]

i know that feeling, then it turns into something else

[@babyfirefly8149]

5 Months?!? It still feels so fresh. Jenny was a remarkable woman. You both are so lucky you found each other in this life. I’m so happy you all are doing well. Jenny wouldn’t want it any other way.

[@SuperCaliforniaBarbi]

I just lost a dear friend of 52 years. Four months ago he was diagnosed with kidney cancer and soon after learned it traveled into two heart valves. He died after surgery to remove his kidney and clear the valves when they removed the breathing tube he had a heart attack. I try to comfort myself he won't have to endure chemo. Damn it I hate cancer so much.He was honestly the kindest man I have ever known. Bye Phil I love you.

[@tammylargent8543]

Love you guy's so much hun.

[@kathleenmetcalf6767]

A ladybug went by as soon as you said “Thank you Jenny” WOW!!! She’s right there with you 🐞

[@ellacobb6872]

Today is 4 yrs since my husband passed. I choose to look at today as his 4th " heavenly birthday " so, he is four in heaven. And it's been four years since he's been finished with the cares of this world. I don't measure his passing by months if I did I go crazy and I'd constantly be sad. I've come to realize that I'll always miss my husband. But I am assured that he's with the lord. Therefore, there is nothing to be continously sad about. I thank God for the time we had together and all the memories. And I know my husband would be upset if he thought I was sad and grieving all the time. Us Christians have to be wise and strong and trust the lord and his wisdom. We'll never forget our loved one's but we are expected to move on and not get stuck in grief. God still has a life for us to live and we need to live it. Your kids are doing fantastic! And you are trying. Take some lessons from your children who appear to be adjusting so well. We all love you and are praying for you 🙏 ❤

[@roselisembee2333]

Very nicely said. As a fellow Christian I agree.

[@hannahmadrid3599]

I love this ❤

[@Mena_Alexia]

I got the chills when you started thanking Jenny for everything and then a ladybug 🐞 flew by. She was trying to let you know she heard you 🥹 keep living one day at a time. You are an example to others that despite what life throws at you, with time, you’ll be ok. ❤

[@cindialdrich]

❤🐞❤

[@gailann7813]

Well said. Kyle you are an amazing young man. I am old enough to be your mother and as someone who is older when I watched you on Jenny's channel while she was working so hard at getting better , you were a rock for Jenny. You didn't cave from the pressure you were under and strived to make every moment special for Jenny. Yes your "village of family" was also so supportive but aside from your wonderful support I can't imagine how hard this was for you. Not only were you caring for your beautiful wife but your beautiful children. Jenny did have an amazing attitude about staying positive and seeing beauty in everyday and made sure that you did also. I only know you through this channel but I have to say how proud I am of you for being such a caring, loving husband for Jenny. Your personality seems so thoughtful, tender hearted, and nurturing. You are such a loving young man and it showed with Jenny and also with Ellis and Winnie. Your doing great Kyle. You are so proud of others and I want you to know how proud I am of you for being the wonderful young man you are.

[@ChasingRainbows67]

​@@gailann7813what a sweet tribute! ❤

[@shamimmukadam9859]

Nice catch up vlog Kyle. Time sure does go fast. You were an amazing husband to Jenny. You were right beside her through out her cancer journey. You an amazing dad to Ellis and Winnie. Keep up the positiveness. I'm sure that ladybird was Jenny, saying hi to you. She must be so proud to see how you coping with life without her. Stay blessed ❤😊

[@JocelynJC1913]

Dear Kyle, you're such an amazing, caring and strong young man, and the most loving and wonderful dad to Ellis and Winnie😍. You're truly and absolutely amazing!!! Keep the faith & the positiveness. Your sweet Jenny must be so very proud of you. Time is a great healer. Continue to stay strong. May God bless you and your beautiful kids with His love, peace and joy. Take good care. Sending love from our family to yours.

[@schildca]

I lost my son 10-20-23, 2 weeks before Jenny. It doesn't seem real. It really helps hearing others talk about their journey. 🙏

[@wrennknits6048]

🙏🙏❤

[@mariasullivan577]

❤

[@joans5619]

I am so extremely sorry for your loss of your precious son. I hope your healing is getting better. You’ll never forget him. Ever. But you’ll heal in time. So sad. My sister lost her son two years ago. She’s stuck. She can’t move on even with therapy. He’d never want that for her. Blessings to you.

[@tubularbrit88]

I lost my dad 10-24-23. I agree Kyles videos have helped. Its been a hard adjustment. And you are right it doesnt seem real. Sorry for your loss

[@lucindahavemeyer9450]

Blessings to all

[@momplusfive]

My college friend was killed in a car accident and her boyfriend at the time met another lady that had lost her fiance to cancer, they have a wonderful life being married over 25 years now and have a beautiful family and grandkids. I hope you find someone to fulfill your life long journey.

[@theresafingera8589]

Im.am.saddenedby this it breaks my heating wish they had there mommies need a mom.

[@incel-simp]

WOW YOUR FRIENDS BOYFRIEND WASNT LOYAL THEN !

[@helechoanarquista]

Compared to your video from 3 weeks ago you seem so much better. Grief is an ocean, it has different waves, ebbs and flows

[@kated2847]

You are doing exactly what Jenny would want you to be doing. I see the sunshine peeking through.

[@heidibrummett3499]

My son who was only 22 died December 9, 2023. Its officially been 4 months and I am struggling so hard. I loved watching Jenny and I will keep you guys in my prayers.

[@gracekitonyi3504]

I am so sorry for your loss. Loosing a child very tough. I pray that you'll find comfort and strength.I am praying for you to find peace.

[@lowelindroth7053]

I feel your pain 😢😢. I lost my 24 year old son november 17th to a totally out of the blue suicide. The pain is still as heavy as day one.... I put on a mask to handle daily life, work etc, but behind the mask I'm thinking of him CONSTANTLY! At the same time as I want to move along, I want to honor his memory. Its difficult.

[@nataliebrooks6822]

Kyle, I think that the level of COMMUNICATION you have with Ellis & Winnie is phenomenal, better than most families I've seen or been around in my almost 60 years. You are all coping in such healthy ways, doing all the right things. Proud of y'all and Jenny is too!!! 🌻🧡🌞

[@shaedenise407]

yeasss agree! coping in healthy ways is greatly stated!

[@user-hz3vg8hi7m]

Tell me you're a teacher without telling me you're a teacher...the way you talk to your dogs. I'm a retired preschool teacher and my beagle heard, 'not a toy, walk away. We don't eat paper. Paper is not food. My husband takes it further by saying, "why did you take the glasses. You don't need glasses. You don't know how to read." So, wow- I felt it too. Is it really 5 months? Feels like yesterday. I still see Jenny's smiling face on some KZbin homepages, although I haven't been able to watch any videos. And I always have that 'pit in my stomach' when I click on The Apples. And I'm just a follower for about two years. You are doing OK, and that's OK. I remember Jenny saying that. It's OK to be happy.

[@Haismagroen]

After following you people for a year already from The Netherlands. My husband passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on November 6th a day after Jenny. You help me after her passing by letting me see that my feelings are not strange. Thank you

[@debradesimone4849]

I use the word, SOFTER! it gets softer as time goes on. I lost my first husband 24 yrs ago and we have 3 beautiful children who are now adults! I am re married and have 2 more children together! Also adults now! The journey is slow but also fast! I just found out I have liver cancer! It isn’t curable but is treatable! I am 3 months in and it is very scary! I found your channel about 7 months ago and have watched all of your vlogs! I’m so happy I found you and Jenny! I wish you so much JOY AND HAPPINESS as time does go on! I will keep watching! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@MilliEVanilliE]

💜🙇🏻‍♀️🫂

[@iladavis1694]

Miss you Jenny 💓

[@ruthbachula1559]

Please be proud that your children can and do talk to you openly. It truly means you are doing it right. You are rocking being a single dad. You didn't ask for this journey, but please know you are doing an amazing job.

[@amym8479]

I think Huckle wanted to donate a rock to Jenny’s rock garden. You are an amazing father Kyle. Wishing you all strength on your new life journey.

[@user-vo5ox8ef5g]

I knew a dentist whose dog hewed so many rocks that he destroyed every one of his teethl!!! Can you believe it! So, Kyle! Make sure doggie has safe things to chew on. Don't let him chew rocks !

[@justjana]

Jenny is proud of you... No doubt about it! That's all she wanted after she left this place....for you to be ok!...we are all proud of you too!

[@dawnricherson2604]

Jenny died 10 years plus one day after I lost my brother, Greg, from the same darn cancer. 😢 Watching Jenny and seeing her battle took me back to our battle, and it also was therapeutic and heart wrenching.

[@jeeperspeepers8323]

My wife died on Nov. 19th of 2023. We were married for almost 43 years. I still love her very much, and I can still feel her love for me. She wasn’t perfect, but she was perfect for me.

[@tiffanyasami]

Did u have to say she wasn't perfect..?. Lol

[@c.c.6930]

What a beautiful message, you made me tear up.

[@christinebickle5770]

omg the way he talks to the dogs. so cute lol

[@toppie5700]

my wife has been gone for 10 years , you dont get over it you just learn to live with it

[@pameladizon4854]

Such a sweet man

[@mjblue84]

God Bless you and your family. Jenny is watching over you!

[@carrieghosen4011]

My mom passed 30 years ago and I still miss that hug from her when I feel down. I don’t think that ever goes away. Kyle you and the kids are doing a great job. It gets better. The more time that goes by the easier it gets. Hang in there and thank you so much for thinking of us and making these videos for us, I know how hard it is to lose someone,and it changes your life. You still take excellent care of the kids,house,you work, and let’s not forget about the lack of sleep,but still we get videos. Thank You so much it is truly appreciated. Love you guys

[@patriciakowerko8201]

I lost my husband last year after a ten year cancer journey. Just want to remind people that "moving on" and "being happy" does not have to mean finding a new partner or getting married again. Some of us still consider ourselves married, just to a partner who is somewhere else, Heaven. Doesn't mean we're not doing okay, just not interested in a new relationship, because we've already had the best, and that's enough for me.

[@Skymama21]

YES, this! It's been almost 12 years since I lost my husband to cancer, and STILL have my wedding bands on...no desire to remarry, still feel married for sure, and plan on that forever hello that will come one day when we reunite in Heaven.

[@debdonley50]

I lost my husband 8 years ago and never thought about a relationship with anyone else because I felt that I had the best, and there was no one else there for me. My sister and I bought a house together and we were living a life of a divorce and a widow, and that seem to be enough at the time. I love my husband will never stop loving him. Two years ago my sister passed away unexpectedly and I was all alone and a great big house with a whole Lotta memories. I met a nice gentleman who had also lost his wife 10 years prior to cancer and we had, shall we say, and connection and that connection has given us something or should I say someone to lean on when we want to talk about our spouses and what a great marriage we both had. At your age it’s going to be very hard for you to find somebody that’s in that same situation but that I am seeing is a very loving and considerate and kind person just like my husband was. He will never replace my husband and I’m not asking him to and I will never replace his wipe and he’s not asking me to do that we are just want to have somebodyto have good comfortable times with. Don’t let anybody tell you that that is wrong. Everybody needs to live a life and nobody will ever take your wife’s memories away from you not even someone else that you meet. Just some of my thoughts.

[@pugMomma65]

Honestly, I can say going through my cancer I had little support but I had Jesus as my constant comfort and guidance. w/o the Lord I would never have been able to tolerate the pain , the mental doubts and fears. Very grateful and praise Jesus . The Lord was definitely my guide, comfort and healer. He gave me incite when I was aware there was something not right but didn’t guess cancer. aThe cancer was right directly on my glottis where it would be most noticeable . i had 32 rounds of brutal radiation. looked like the darkest red imaginable. burn. burn burn on my neck that was my outside.imagine what it all did to the inside. Drs were amazed i only lost 10lbs and never needed a tube feeding. i worked everyday not missing one day. i was determined to power through but admin made me go on leave. because you couldn’t hear me , being in my voice box my speech was barely audible. Praise Jesus through it all I am healed 9 years ago. praise Jesus he carried me the whole way praise Jesus he is the only way, truth and the life

[@lydiamoore142]

Praise the Lord. God is good…always.

[@ChasingRainbows67]

God is good ALL the time ❤ Amen, you were healed by the blood of our Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ 💖😇❤️🙏

[@lstapes7]

I just finished radiation, and you have inspired me to remember that there can be a light at the end of the tunnel!

[@kathymoorehead7827]

This life is much easier when we let Jesus carry us through the rough patches. 🙏

[@Wulfe156]

You've explained it perfectly Kyle. It's almost 4 yrs for me. It was small cell lung cancer. In 9 months it was over. Seems like a lifetime ago but also not. It was like I stopped and the world kept going around me, but I felt and feel full of their love. There's some sadder days of course but I had the best person for me. That is a blessing. Going into the 3rd year it felt harder at times as the reality sinks in but I'm doing well. It's all a journey. We can still feel blessed that although they aren't physically here for the the rest of our lives, we were there for them for the rest of theirs. They know they were, and are, still loved. I still talk to my wonderful spouse daily. It's all felt like some crazy, surreal, eye opening journey. Doing things we love is so important yet so difficult in the beginning, but it's important to keep taking those steps forward even though we stumble at times, trying to survive. You are doing everything positive. We don't move on without them, they're a part of us forever . You're doing all the right things and then some. Sending continued strength and peace for you and your family.

[@JoyceGooder-mo1fs]

Grief never ends……..but it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith……It is the price of love. I didn’t pen this myself. It come up in my Pinterest for me on a day I needed to hear it. I saved it to reread, and to share. So so glad you are finding your way. I had every confidence you would, and continue to navigate your new normal. Peace be with you all.

[@patriciakowerko8201]

Beautiful words. Brings me to tears

[@mimirose71]

I loved Jenny so much. She was a beautiful, shiny Diamond. ❤❤

[@ChicagoIL50]

Oh my goodness 5 months already. 💐 Speechless

[@user-ve2ri1jj4l]

I have followed Jenny’s story, especially because my husband had small cell lung cancer. So much of Jenny’s journey was similar to my husbands and watching helped me so much. My husband passed on Oct. 16 after a 4 year battle. God bless you and your family ❤

[@TracyGilmeister]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[@user-ve2ri1jj4l]

@@TracyGilmeister Thank you!

[@LeAnneM85]

I hope that people do always remember that one day kyle and jennys children will read these comments. Make sure to remember that when you write a post. Kyle i am so proud of how you have handled yourself and your children during this journey. We lost my children's father feb 2023 and it is just now starting to feel more normal. Everyone heals differently and time moves differently for everyone. I totally get what you mean tho by time feeling like it is moving slowly but also feeling like it is moving quickly. Its such a whirlwind of making sure the kids are living normal and doing ok as well as yourself. I have to say you have done absolutely amazing at it all. I know we only see glimpses into your daily life but you have been so open and raw through this. Keep going kyle i know jenny is proud of you

[@peggyfulton4813]

The 5th of every month will always be a gentle reminder of her love. My son died in the 5th of April 2021. I still stop and pause on the 5th of every month. You are doing great. Grief is a long journey.

[@Michelle-by9fp]

I’m so sorry for your loss

[@sarahcrain8083]

Lord bless you.

[@speechtaught]

I feel for you in your grief for your son. I lost mine June 29 2022. He was my only child. I miss him dearly as I know you miss your son. God has him now.

[@susanfleming496]

So sorry for the loss of your son ❤

[@mollymackiewicz6965]

You are a wonderful man Kyle you are loved! I am glad you are feeling better! ❤️😘🙏

[@jangrueter]

Kyle you are so wonderful for all of us! Life is hard but hope is something you give to all of us! Thank you!

[@pamelastates5600]

I had to put my dog down on Friday she had cancer. She was 17 yrs old . Oh How I miss her # Buttercup 🐶🐾my heart is broken 😭💔💔❤️🙏🏽🇨🇦

[@dianavasto3047]

Sorry for your loss. 😢 Five years ago our beloved 15 year old kitty passed away. We still miss her. May you be comforted by the wonderful memories of your sweet furry companion ❤

[@denisomahoney5464]

So very sorry 😞 I lost my little king Charles 3yrs ago and it devastated me ..

[@karyne826]

I’m sorry for your loss. Losing a much loved friend is heartbreaking. She’ll be waiting for you at Rainbow Bridge ❤🌈

[@Rachel_Ryder]

I still watch Jenny’s old videos when I need a “security blanket”, so to speak. Like after a particularly hard day, Jenny is such a relaxing, loving influence. I’m often thinking of you guys!

[@dianeg8205]

I think you’re doing a fantastic job taking care of yourself and the children. Jenny would be so proud of you. It’s been a journey for you and her absence is hard but as time goes by you learned how to cope and keep living. I wish you and the children all the best in life.

[@joannwormbrand8413]

Glad you 3 are doing well now. She'll be in your heart forever. Time helps us.

[@ryderoreilly9807]

I'm glad to hear you and the kids are doing OK.

[@SophisticatedBob]

You're doing great my friend. My wife died 3.5 years ago, and time does help. But the loss will remain, like any trauma does. You learn to live with it. I wish you nothing but peace.

[@nancyclavin2561]

There are no words but sending you and the children a big Hug!!!!

[@pattyann4283]

I remember Jenny said her last day she wants you to love again and find happiness for you and kids.. I love and miss her too, but remember she said that ♥️♥️♥️♥️‼️‼️

[@_kathrynprice]

You're doing great, Kyle. I love how you focus on what you're grateful for, and that Jenny did that too, even though she was going through such a rough time.

[@marciacarr3643]

Great sign from Jenny. She hears your every word.

[@Sundaymagpie]

I can’t believe it’s been 5 months. Sending you guys ❤

[@nikkis7375]

So wild that it’s already been 5 months, and how it feels like it happened just yesterday but hurts and miss her like it’s been forever. Sending love always!!! ❤

[@beverlysmith9854]

Jenny would be so proud of you and the childern. The love she left will always be with you.

[@11plus3]

You are awesome Kyle. Your kids are so blessed to have you. It never gets okay but it does get easier (for lack of a better word). Kyle to have a love like you and Jenny had is a gift most people never experience in a lifetime. God bless you and the sweet kiddos.

[@terryatkins4495]

Thank you for sharing your journey of love and healing. It does help others and is appreciated.

[@wagal50]

❤🙏 So proud of you and the kids. My heart goes out to you. 💔

[@michellebradley8856]

Love that you filmed the ladybug at the end. What a meaningful way to remember Jenny and the beauty she brought to the world. 🐞

[@annerusso8835]

Time moves in one direction, memories in another. Glad to hear you are doing ok!! ❤

[@jackievigier1753]

It’s great you’re doing ok and even good!! We’re out here praying for that for you Kyle!! It’s so good to hear!!!🤗🙌

[@kristiericson1365]

Im glad that you aren’t just saying that kids are so resilient and not help them with therapy. When we were kids (my siblings and I were 60’s and 70’s kids), any trauma we experienced my mom just assumed we’d be ok, ‘because kids are resilient’. Children need help to express their feelings. You’re doing an amazing job! I’m sure you’re also an incredible teacher! I miss teaching children.

[@suestephan3255]

I do know that kids being resilient is good and they are. It’s a kind of protection where they aren’t analyzing just living their childhood. I lost my dad when I just turned 7. My mom made us feel safe. She didn’t ask deep questions but was always available. It can be hard to understand how kids get right back to living their life but that is how God made them. Kyle makes time for his kids and he makes them feel safe.

[@kathleenmetcalf6767]

Jenny is so proud of all of you! ❤❤❤❤❤(and so are we!)

[@celinescrappassion2184]

it is OK to say that you are OK. This is the normal grieving process. I am happy to see that you are doing better. We are proud of you.

[@Hopeful62]

I remember the guilt at first after my husband passed, and even after my dad. I feel like how can I laugh? Then I know that's what I want for the people I love and they do too!!

[@celinescrappassion2184]

@@Hopeful62 I am sorry for your loss... i can totally understand your feelings. I lost my dad whan I was only 14 years old and i also remember the guilt for just feeling happy one day, or laughing another day. But I often heard Dr Phil say to those who lost loved ones, that their son, daughter, mother who passed would not want them to be unhappy for the rest of their lives? I know that Jenny would want Kyle and the kids to live their lives being happy, just as much as she loved life! This is a gift that Jenny was able to give. And I know that some people are always going to judge. But it is normal to start experiencing some moments of happiness and joy at some point during the healing/grieving process. The contrary would not be normal. This would probably indicate pathological grief disorder. Healing means just that, that you are going to get better, and there is no time limit on this. It is different from one person to the next.

[@TakeMeOrLeaveMe08]

thank u so much for continuing to share your journey with us jen would be so proud of u

[@bellaemma2020]

So sorry! Time is precious and you can blink it’s gone. ❤You are doing a great job and just remember yourself and kids

[@anastazijamuller5278]

Greetings to you Kyle and your sweet kids! Jenny will never be forgotten. 🌻🐞I wish you all the best.

[@joannebonnette4769]

5 months already and you have been a rock! Jenny would be proud

[@chrissyfoley7361]

It’s so good to hear you’re all doing well. Jenny is so proud of all of you. ❤️

[@datahoundhunter]

She was a wonderful woman and a wonderful mother and wife. Five months is not that long. Bless you.

[@lisaanderson1012]

That sweet Ellis is an old soul.💜

[@pearlg3468]

Hi Kyle. Sending warm thoughts to you today. Praying for you and your kids. God bless you.

[@estellaturner4614]

Kyle thank you so much for letting everyone know ya'll are doing ❤️ It does get better.

[@lnewbury1]

You should be proud Kyle. You are doing some very hard work and you are killing it. Wishing you continued peace.

[@keyplayer5]

Thanks for continuing to update. Those of us facing cancer journeys with loved ones need to know that no matter what happens, we can be strong and move ahead. We continue to pray for your family and that Gods promises will be fulfilled. 🙏🌈

[@christined2495]

I think you’re doing better because your Jenny gave you the tools to move on . She talked to you, told you to be happy, told you it’s ok to be happy again one day… explained about what the kids would need, wrote letters etc , she was really something About 10 min before I came on utube tonight and saw your video, I was going through a box of cards and letters from my mom who is gone 7 years now Inside the box was a little porcelain ladybug that my Mom used to keep on her kitchen windowsill, I didn’t put it back in my memory box but put it by my Jewelry box and I did think of my Mom and Jenny when I found it, it will be my reminder to say a little prayer for them when I see it everyday… ❤

[@susanlumley5547]

It's fabulous that you are doing good! Keep healing and growing ❤

[@christophervipond1950]

My mum died a few years ago. You never got over it but you just learn to live without them

[@elliecobb2734]

Kyle, so happy to hear and see how well you all are doing, you have been so blessed by Jenny's life, and will contiue to be blessed by her through your beautiful kids and the memories of a relationship, not many ever have. She left such a legacy for all of us, may you contiue on your healing journey, and find total peace and joy everday!

[@carolynlong8618]

Things do get better. You have done very well and Ellis and Winnie are so good and doing well. Thank you for sharing this. Jenny is in the hearts of so many and will never be forgotten. You have a beautiful family with lots of love.

[@debrarounion4469]

Thanks for sharing how you feel. She was a gift from heaven a pure Angel. Some people will never know what you had.

[@Kd-us6bx]

Prayers for you and your babies since Jenny's passing 🙏🙌🙏

[@hayleyvigar6970]

Hi Kyle, Ellis & Winnie. Thank you, Kyle, for letting us know that you are all doing well. The Ladybird was such a beautiful reminder of how close Jenny is to all of you. A meteor the other night & now a ladybird, it proves she is around you constantly. Im so glad that you are having better days & Ellis & Winnie are able to express how they are feeling, rather than keeping all their hurt inside. Jenny was an amazing mum & wife by writing so many things down for you in the future days when she was gone. Kyle, you are an amazing dad. Not only do you work, keep the house, look after your pets, take the kids to their activities/hobbies & help training with Ellis' baseball, you also now have time to go camping, you must be exhausted but it seems to me that you love every second of your everyday life. Of course, you will have days when you are tearing your hair out because it's just one of those days, but each day will also be another day where something is learned, good or bad. The warmer days are coming, hopefully for me in the UK, too, so going places in your campervan will be amazing, new memories made & photographs taken to look at in the future. I personally can't wait to see Ellis & Winnie having fun with you in the sun, playing games, eating vegan smores & just enjoying being kids. Remember Kyle, you are an amazing man & anytime you need advice or just a hello from us, we will be here for all of you. Have a great week. ❤💙💗

[@wren3347]

You're an inspiration to this old lady. Life is tough but you're doing it just right imo, doing it the way Jenny would wish and it doesn't get any better than that.

[@ayydee0930]

Fantastic father 🎉 you should be proud of how far you’ve come and what a great leader you are for your children.

[@olives2426]

can’t believe it’s been 5 months 😢 you are doing so amazing ❤

[@Lockz5789]

You should be PROUD you’re a wonderful father!

[@karynwestern]

The ladybird flying by just when uou started thanking her is amazing.. thank you for sharing.❤

[@cathycorns7605]

You are doing the wonderful job, Kyle, sending love and prayers

[@jimmywarren6685]

Prayers for you, my friend!

[@suemuster9826]

I think you're doing a phenomenal job with your children, your life. Jenny will always be part of your life. We love you and your children. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@wendydonnelly4885]

Jenny would be so proud of all of you! You’re right time doesn’t make the grief go away, you just figure out a new normal. The 20 year of the passing of one of my students was on the 1st of this month. I still miss her pranks and jokes she used to do. As odd as it sounds it was fitting that she started her eternal afterlife on April Fools Day. She passed after a 4 1/2 year struggle with ovarian cancer. On the exact same day that she passed away a former dog trainer had a stroke and her husband found her on their sofa. I am glad that both of your children are able to communicate and discuss their feelings and opinions. That’s probably going to help them in the future with being able to be open and honest about different things. I have said this before, you have an excellent support system. I pray that all of you including extended family can find a sense of peace with each new day.🙏🙏🙏

[@user-oh6js6nu6j]

I can't believe it's already been five months. Sending love to you and your beautiful children and thinking of Jenny. 💗

[@27Eilene]

Jenny is so proud of you, I just know it. We are so stinking proud of you! ❤

[@msvinceymontanarello4514]

It's so cute the way you talk to Huckle. You and the kids are doing great and they're so lucky to have you as a dad.

[@Timsgal777]

I'm happy for you all. It also cracks me up you talk to the dogs like they k know what you are telling them I do the same thing. Cracks me up. Continued prayers for you and your family. Much love 😊😊

[@barbaramills7789]

It is absolutely ok for you to say you are doing good. I am so so glad to hear that, and it gives me comfort knowing that ❤

[@AngieS71]

It's great to be good! We want you to be as happy as you can be at this point. Jenny is right there with you, just in a different form or way from before