Pumps' Clandestine Dating Life

[@bluekryptonite1121]

Ladies you are way too hard on yourselves. All I could think about doing the Kamala interview was how proud I was of you fellow Oklahomans interviewing our first female vice president!

[@taylorfausett177]

I was so proud too. I call these wonderful ladies " my Internet friends" because I feel connected to them.

[@WendigoMysteries]

Pumps and jen laughing is such a cure for depression 😌🤣

[@clarecollins2547]

Love the laughter!

[@clarecollins2547]

I wish we had Door Dash in the UK!

[@clarecollins2547]

Those dates are all narcissistic! And possibly serial killers! Dont do it Pumps!

[@clarecollins2547]

I darent laugh too loud its 5.30 in the morning and i dont want to wake the hubsandroid!

[@SpidersFace]

"[...]age range to 20-80." "GAG" pumps, the way I HOWLED.

[@georgexfekete]

The second guy wanting a women with traditional conservative values but also wants her to pay on the first date and make 80k a year. 😂😂😂😂 I’m fucking crying over here

[@StephenMichealOliver]

Let me let y’all know something, this is the podcast/video channel I have been waiting for. You two are the mothers this southern gay boy didn’t know he needed. Not only are you an ally, but your willingness to also be an accomplice for our community means the absolute world. On top of that, you have re-inspired me to start my podcast, a gay southern cooking and conversation show I am calling Glitter & Biscuits! Much love always ❤

[@taylorfausett177]

Please let me know when you start it. I will sub❤

[@gabrielleseeley4117]

Just let us know when you start publishing it! I will listen! 💜

[@swiftlylovestruck]

Oh we wanna support down bad this pod is boutta be epic

[@laineyerin5801]

Omg this podcast! Let us know

[@monicadominguez4522]

PLEASE make this a regular segment I have been in tears the entire episode 😭 God bless Angela Dawn

[@Redkenflorida]

These Patriot beauties bring a smile to face with every episode I watch . Feeling blessed America has these sweethearts of KZbin to enjoy.

[@1979snicks]

A-freakin-men! Saludos from a New Yawker in BCN

[@ChristineWyninger]

The dating segment had me crying!😂😂 please make this ongoing!!

[@shellystrider7195]

Over. People who put the paper upside down are sociopaths.

[@James__Gregory]

I too have fixed the toilet paper direction rotation issue and pondered both of those questions. “What’s wrong with them? What’s wrong with ME??” 😂😂😂

[@jayem761]

KILEY! Go put Pumps on a lesbian dating app ASAP!

[@susantate1785]

YES! Immediately!!!!!

[@Signalaw1]

I'm an over toilet paper and WE are in the right because we are correcting an injustice. We are toilet paper justice warriors!!

[@evettejohnson6698]

Yes, and in fact, the original patent for toilet paper shows it goes over. I do understand though, some people do under because their pets unroll the paper when it's over.

[@mosaics2024]

@@evettejohnson6698 This is no excuse and only adds improper training of pets to the list of egregious errors. Toilet paper justice warriors can't give in to wooly thinking.

[@evettejohnson6698]

@@mosaics2024 I never said it was right or acceptable, but I do understand why they do it.

[@lachlankay9212]

Agreed. One might even say we are toilet paper patriots! 😂😂

[@lisabillings3739]

I just love starting my day with these great patriots!

[@kendalldrye5947]

The only time the under toilet paper roll is acceptable is if someone has a cat

[@peacefulpossum2438]

Or dog. My mom’s German shepherd unspooled toilet paper all the way through the house. I grew up with it under, but do it over now because it disturbs the sensibilities of so many people. I don’t get though. I can’t understand why it’s such a big deal.

[@sempressfi]

Lol just commented that is under tp bothers you, you've probably never had cats

[@tickledhorse]

Oh no! The "if" thing! The worst part is NO ONE ever thinks about "if". I think we should start. Think of all the possibilities! Another day - shot to hell!

[@ElliciaDawn]

@@peacefulpossum2438 Neither can I. It's toilet paper.

[@jacquelinec4691]

🙌

[@joni8762]

I can’t believe I just found these two ladies!! My soul sisters! where have I been?? ❤

[@acalvoe1975]

My boyfriend came to where I was because of my laughing my head off with the dating section. Please do a 2nd part!!!

[@billkeon880]

Couldn’t stop watching. Made me 20 minutes late for a job interview, but I was in a jovial mood when I arrived

[@LisaPhillips4494]

I totally change the toilet paper. I'm like Pump's & change other people's toilet paper. 😂😂

[@QCtreasures]

I just spent the weekend with my niece and her family. Her husband always blows his nose at the table. I was disgusted. Blowing nose at the table is much worse than picking teeth.

[@michele1491]

🤮

[@kokohead333]

sniffing is not tolerable 💦

[@steellio5526]

No way! That's gross. Someone needs to have a word with him

[@mosaics2024]

No apologies! Another mark of a psychopath is their toilet paper coming from underneath. I've already pointed out the ketchup all over everything symptom, and here's another. I hope you're all taking notes.

[@quiltygal6981]

I don't like ketchup so that's a pro, yes ?...........but then....I'm an under paper girl 😂😂 what else is on the Psycopath list. Taking notes.

[@AlistairGale]

Can we get a 5 minute mix of Jen and Pumps saying Toilet?

[@mosaics2024]

@@quiltygal6981 What else is on the psychopath check list? Disagreeing with these positions, obviously! But you get a point towards normality for not putting ketchup on inappropriate things. If you saw my note regarding ketchup, you know that people who like Heinz ketchup are okay, while only psychopaths like Hunt's. These things are subtle and require vigilance and an eye for detail.

[@jakechartrand7308]

@@mosaics2024 girl, it has to be Heinz. However, I put ketchup on my Kraft Mac and cheese and my grilled cheese so you’d hate me anyways 😂🤷🏼‍♂️ Edit just to say it’s over for me only though. And I will change it if I see it in others 👍🏼❤️

[@bevinfriesen3134]

Favorite episode yet!! This NEEDS to be a regular thing 😂

[@papichad15]

Hotels: toilet paper is always rolled over. Correct standard.

[@Wendy-ov5hu]

and the leading sheet is folded into a nice point. Which I do at public toilets.. even campsites. I am not an animal...lol ( maybe weird and a bit ocd )

[@rochcarothers-ts3jx]

No!

[@tyylerjamezz]

i was dying this whole episode 😭 so fucking funny

[@SheriWinston]

You are both totally correct about toilet paper. I've usually tried to hold myself back from changing it at other people's houses, but occasionally I've done so. Mea culpa! You're interview with the vice president was awesome and I didn't notice you looking anything other than your usual lovely well-coifed, beautifully made up selves.

[@ultimatespinach]

FJB = Eff Joe Biden, that would be my guess. Great show ladies, the last time I laughed this hard was your last show. Cheers from Ontario, Canada!

[@PistachioOnPaws]

So right, I haven't laughed this hard since the last ep! Love it

[@CarrieSwanson-d4t]

One of the funniest episodes yet! Pump's laugh always gets me giggling too. I think the dude who wants a wife 'just like Melania' is my fav. Shows what MAGA men really admire about Dump.

[@taylorfausett177]

Trump gives horrible people the guts to show who they really are.

[@trippeddownthestairs8238]

Hey ladies! I love the show as always. I will just say that I have never in my life been more grateful that I am gay than I am right now in this moment. Because I can't imagine being a woman and having to choose from the matches that Pumps had. 😂😂 They were all just so terrible.

[@EvanRockwell1]

PUMPS GOT THE CLAP WITHOUT PrEP!!!!! Also, as a gay man, if I was at a wedding with J&P, I'd be livid if they weren't sat at the gay table. That would be plain homophobic.

[@taylorfausett177]

Lol. That would be homophobic... so good ❤

[@PistachioOnPaws]

God, pumps got the clap, lololol

[@rocknrollrod5]

Jen and Pumps would make a great online dating profile editors for men.

[@KathrynRice-l6h]

I have the same hangups withTP. Hilton Hotels put it over, and I guess they should know. Haha, I love your podcasts!

[@davidschweizer7579]

Ladies…found your podcast about a month ago and have been binge watching as many episodes as possible! TY for the endless laughter and your support for the LGBTQ community. Please consider Wilmington NC for future tours. (Wilson Center) OH…& Over or Under? Momma always said “under” cause if a spider decides to nest it will hide in the crack of the few sheets hanging “over”. Those outhouse days are long gone momma. No spiders in the crack! LOL. Hugs to you 3 from Jim Schweizer

[@rebo2610]

I fix the TP to over at work and in restaurants if possible. I've also had it with an associated toilet paper issue. To all janitor types: Start the fu*kin' roll! Clawing my way through half the roll just to get a few shreds to wipe my ass is just unacceptable!

[@DMC2829]

Omg my thought exactly!! 👏👏

[@armlessart]

Pumps' laugh>>>

[@QsMom2015]

I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time - TY!!!!

[@MusicCityMere]

So glad I found y'all's channel as a result of a horrible election. Y'all are so funny and I relate in many ways. But omg, the toilet paper, my mom is an offender lol! I'm constantly "fixing" it at her house 😅

[@MusicCityMere]

So yes, I always correct the overer too, whether right or not lol

[@heidicampbell1807]

TP must go over! I’ve changed it in other peoples houses too 😂. A coworker told me that you’re supposed to put it over because it’s easier for blind people. So I think we have every right to change it anywhere.

[@celivn2977]

I’m glad that they got to the analogy between the toilet paper and religion by themselves 😅 I was already cringe-laughing at the hypocrisy 😂

[@bananaempijama]

Angela Dawn, is the best patriot gal that any man can have 🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅

[@LittleMollyDog123]

Charles from the conservative date app with the comedian, mental patient, and chef and similar is actually from a meme. LOL

[@rhondamoore6100]

The tp overs are correct because if you look up the patent for the tp holder it has a clear drawing of it to be over.

[@thomasl4665]

This is basically gonna be an Astroglide commercial isn't it...

[@JAHughes1988]

I hope so. My man just used spit last night.

[@tinydancer139]

@@JAHughes1988Adam!!! 🫣

[@sechmet987]

​@@JAHughes1988 so, you're looking for a new man, right?

[@JAHughes1988]

@@sechmet987 nope. He's a good one, overall...ha!

[@geraldcooper284]

Classic!!!

[@suannie856]

PLEASE STAY: I NEED YOU ALL FOR MY SOBRIETY 🎉

[@missshroom5512]

I think the only people that switch the toilet paper are the ones that like it over. I’m guilty as well lol

[@taylorfausett177]

I don't say anything to anyone I just change it. Lol

[@PistachioOnPaws]

You bitches give me life. Thank you for making me feel less alone in this crazy country and making me laugh so hard I can't breathe.

[@KatMarriott-eq5ru]

Over , the right way is the only way for toilet paper... ❤️💚💜🇨🇦

[@HeatherEvans-p1i]

Be good to eachother. Friends are hard to find. Raise eachother up do not let the industry and brand $$ get in way ❤❤

[@beckymcreynolds6903]

I’m an over. I will correct . But the ABSOLUTE worst are the ones who just lay the new roll on top of the empty cardboard. Or sit it on top of the container in a public space. Or leave NONE AT ALL ffs

[@sarahbleckman5199]

It sounds like memaw found a new husband on farmers only 😂

[@juliannesjingles]

Australia here! Come in spring/summer! You'll love it ❤

[@theresarivest567]

Toilet paper over is the only sanitary answer. Under paper has the disgusting possibility of rubbing against the wall.

[@jessg2355]

Over, absolutely! and I fix it anywhere I go also. haha when my mother-in-law visits, she puts it under and i have to correct it every single time. drives me nuts!!

[@maybeebuzzy2265]

TP goes over🧐 I was at a relative's house and automatically fixed theirs to the correct way, being used to my kids replacing rolls all willy-nilly. After a while, I realized my error and went in and changed it back. Not my house, not my choice. LOL, y'all got me tickled again🤣🌻🐝

[@spudnik238]

You both looked great with Kamala Harris! You're being very hard on yourselves!

[@Palebluevanilly]

This makes me want to make a Farmers Only account just to match with Pumps ❤😂

[@fussyfissy]

not gonna lie the heifer guy sounds like a catch! loved this segment haha

[@cemanuelhead]

IKR 😅

[@mattdawg83686]

Toilet paper: Over. Paper towels: Over.

[@quiltygal6981]

Toilet paper: Under Paper towels: Vertical 😂😂

[@blackawana]

Mine are sideways, so...great holder, I guess!

[@Cheryl_in_TX]

Ah yes, the modern paper towel placement conundrum! In a vertical paper towel holder, which direction should the towels come off the roll when pulled? My take: I prefer mine to pull from the left: when looking at the towel roll in the vertical holder, tip your head to the left, ear to shoulder, so when looking at the paper towels from that horizontal perspective, the roll of towels is in an “over” position; the proper position for _any_ type of paper-on-a-roll product (except when cats are involved, of course). 😉

[@blackawana]

@@Cheryl_in_TX your degree will be awarded! Except when cats are involved....🙄😹

[@taylorfausett177]

I never thought about paper towels but you are 100 percent right. This goes in the Permanent Record. Lol

[@michele1491]

I would take it one step further and say that teeth picking shouldn’t happen anywhere where other people are present. Sat and listened to my MIL pick her teeth in my living room for about 20 minutes the other evening. Thought I’d lose my mind.

[@taylorfausett177]

It's the worst thing on the Planet?!!

[@Wendy-ov5hu]

Agreed.. no teeth picking, no nose blowing or picking, no hair brushing.. I don't even like it when one pulls out a mirror to reapply lipstick... If you're at a restaurant, go to the lavatory or car for your grooming . If you're at your own home, do what ya want. But know that your guests are nauseated . gag 🤮

[@HH-gv8mx]

I walk around my apartment complex and neighborhood for a half mile while brushing my teeth. It’s multitasking. I’m trying to get natural light into my eyeballs as I wake up while getting some steps in which may be the only steps I get all day and my overpriced south Florida apartment is filled with toxic black mold so it’s imperative for me to get fresh air when I first get up.

[@Dot-u4m]

Emily Post wrote Etiquette for home, Etiquette for Business and Etiquette for Politics. My Grandmother gave me one of the first editions when I turned 21! I am 70 years old and I still love Emily Post. You ladies are the best! Smart and Sassy! Thanks for great takes!

[@justjamie72]

Listening Australian here!!! Please come to Brekky in Brisbane (not Brisbayne) and I’ll be there with bells on❤

[@gvnwings]

Omg I laughed out loud at these profiles Gee…can’t imagine why so many of these charming dudes are single 😂😂😂😂😂 And no Pumps…I’m not going to do online dating either 😂😂😂😂

[@leagarrido817]

Your discussions are relatable and hilarious 😂

[@cmagnusnorthfleet981]

These two are absolutely hilarious. I love this show. LOLOLOLOL Don't ever stop ladies. YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@Lisaski66]

Over, of course. I am one who has corrected, but who now is a recovered corrector. I leave the under alone, and move on knowing I'm right.

[@celestemartinez7958]

Always over! However, I’ve never changed someone else’s toilet paper, but I’ve itched to do it!

[@quiltygal6981]

I'm sitting here in Australia laughing about toilet paper. I have 2 toilets, mine is an under room, the one my husband mainly uses is an over one. I just think under is neater, it fits in with my ( obviously psychopathic) brain. 😂😂

[@Mossyrocklove]

I clean for work and I changed the tp to over and the customer SWITCHED IT BACK TO UNDER WTF?!?!

[@christinas6548]

Holy shit! This has been my absolute favorite episode. I need more. Now I have to figure out what patreon is and subscribe. I need weekly dating app updates, please! This is a journey I can get behind. Love you ladies.

[@sarahbleckman5199]

You all had this patriot on a journey with the dating profile read 😂

[@kaylap81]

This episode is gold standard 😂. Also, the military reference was FJB…as in f Joe Biden…the mating call of the right 😂😂

[@JerryEakle]

Your videos are usally pretty awesome. I like how Pumps calls Kylie Kathy. A lot of people put the toilet paper on under. They either have a cat, kitten, child. puppy. If you put it on so it comes off over they all can quickly unroll a full roll in less and a few minute. So by all means put it on so it comes off over the top.

[@sallylewis6465]

I’m listening from Sydney. You’ll love it here.

[@lcas2891]

TP over. Long time ago I worked at a chain motel and over was the rule. And it had to be folded to a triangle. 😅

[@whatsthispiper3919]

I'm absolutely setting up a profile for my bestie... this was awesome 😂

[@alexissilvaestefania2716]

Great episode! I can’t believe those profiles are real 😂

[@EdwardsNH]

Far and away the worst is someone that flips the paper on the homeowner’s preference I had a sister in law that would switch my paper every time she came over… psychopath. And yes, just as aggressive as a christian deciding they know what’s best for everyone, whether they like it or not

[@SistahSHEMusic]

OMG! Hilarious looking for Mr. Good bar!

[@jameskydd2391]

You are right ladies the paper is better over and is easier to get

[@rebeccaperrigoue2490]

I just watched the entirety of this cast. OMFG, this one is in my top four of how hard I laughed!

[@cheyenne5913]

One of the funniest episodes yet! I need a recorded date

[@DeannaMcMahon-er6mb]

I go to people's home and fix their under-TP shitshow

[@seanryan3020]

I never do that, but I do readjust toothpaste tubes that have been squeezed from the middle! 😆

[@DeannaMcMahon-er6mb]

@@seanryan3020 🤣🤣😆

[@taylorfausett177]

Made me laugh out loud fr❤

[@OJ14-f6d]

Under is less hassle, in the middle of the night I'm not spinning the wheel VANNA trying to find it. UNDER FALLS TO BE GRABBED RIGHT AWAY. THANK YOU JO!

[@KathleenKent-u3y]

I fix it when it is under! Instead of an apology to the owner I think I should get a thank you!!!

[@beccilee9344]

Ladies, I looked this up because I feel the same way and I found the patent shows the toilet paper going over so there you have it!

[@mikasa_sucasa]

Finally someone speaks the truth about toilet paper direction! There IS a CORRECT direction!!

[@themarquis336]

I love you ladies, you make my days better!

[@Dieter1971]

I enjoy your show. You guys crack me up.

[@Kkdulack]

I want to be these ladies when I grow up, like when I realllllly grow up

[@lisanorris4921]

Agree with the TP being over. I too will flip.

[@tackysum]

OMG, the dating profiles had me laughing so hard.

[@TykeTansford]

Duh. I flip them too. But, only in places where I won’t be discovered.

[@cindywho134]

I laughed so hard that I couldn't breathe 😂😅. Best episode ever!!!!

[@sfshinz]

“Tollet paper” (to quote Jennifer) always has to go over. There’s no debate.

[@Hhh842]

I am genuinely interested in what the women’s profiles say on these websites. And also what the ratio of men to women are on these sites.

[@User98030]

Love the dating app segment

[@joeyfarrell188]

Over - we are civilized people. Same with using coasters, compulsively.

[@janetn246]

I prefer putting the TP over, but I had to change when I had a cat. I would find an empty roll with a pile of tissue on the floor. His favorite game was to unwind it. When I switched to under, I found a shredded role twice, but then he gave up and left it alone

[@louemmett3333]

I’m over , and I totally fix it too

[@geoffdrewer1978]

Jennifer, regarding your doordash ad. If you had one of those Stanley cups 🥤 you could have rehydrated on the drive 🚗 home 🏡 from pickle ball with a giant flask of electrolytes and not needed doordash at all.😅

[@donnajohnson0903]

Honestly… It makes no difference to me… Sometimes I put it over, sometimes I put it under… But what I do like to do is when I go to somebody else’s house and it’s over… And I know it’s over on purpose, then I’ll change it to under just to annoy them… And they always catch it and call me as soon as I leave

[@garyhollingworth8510]

They will love you ladies down here in Australia.