You're probably right, but a lot of us and even some who accomplished a great deal have the same psychology. Being hard on oneself extends to being hard on others, and that doesn't always end well.
You are right, he had a deformed view of life (dominated by fear of an early death), but clearly he loved his father. If the Dad didn't die early, I don't think any of this would have happened. A very sad case.
Sorry to hear that. You can dislike your mother and you can sever relations with her. But taking her as your enemy is beyond understanding. Did she intentionally harm you and put you in bad conditions before? If not, you might need change your view on your mother.