James Bell X - If i'm ever cured (2024 EDIT)

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Song story -
In November 2022 , I was spending the least itchy parts of my days recording custom songs for people and in-between recording those… this entire chorus came to my head outta nowhere (the vocals right at the end of the song were recorded as the song came into my head so that is literally the very first time I heard the song which feels crazy and very lucky. The piano is also from the very second I came up with the idea).
The difficulty with recording custom songs for people is you read about customers’ amazing love lives and you get a bit sad…wondering where yours went and after like five weeks of this kind of work…reading people’s stories and constantly being reminded of how good my time was with the girl that once called us boyfriend and girlfriend… before she decided she didn’t want to be with someone so sick with no income (that she was possibly embarrassed about) and didn’t want to talk about her own problems to because of how different they felt suddenly when she saw my chronic disease in person….. she started appearing in all my dreams in the crowd or in random places.
At first she was always in the crowd watching as I fell over playing sport (which is weird because I don’t play sport) , watching as I played the wrong notes for a giant audience and seeming so disappointed in me.
However one night she wasn’t just at the front of the crowd, SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE in the dream living in a tiny cozy house in amongst a bunch of fields. We were living together and we had never broken up and my brain was full of memories of all that we had done in this other dimension where we’d never broke up and because we hadn’t broken up my condition hadn’t gotten way worse than previous years (and stress always causes more rashes and itching and pain) in fact I was completely cured so it was a completely different life. We had achieved all we planned during our real life relationship.
And she was so happy and I was so happy and then I woke…. And suddenly I was alone with my itching and stinging in the dark and cold and she was the opposite side of the world (to my knowledge) and it was horrendous. So lonely but I always know my only chance of getting in a relationship again is if I get cured and if I get an income so I just got up and tried to carry on working as a distraction hoping that if I worked hard enough an income would slowly come and the right song would make that happen. But it turns out the thought and sadness really was stuck in my head that day and the second I pressed stop on recording a song for a couple in America…I just started playing this song with the exact same chorus lyrics and very similar verse lyrics and the same notes.
I am so proud of this song from start to finish. The one take drums. The one take piano. This is also my first song ( I think ) where there is an outro that takes parts of the song from before and changes them slightly rather than just either repeating the chorus again, repeating the tag line or having a guitar solo.
I’m really proud of the lyrics also and the guitar solo and how the last chorus and ending really feels like going through stages of sadness.
Two years later...
I realise it's in "Health AND sickness" not just Health and I'd never leave a person because of their health troubles.