James Bond Jr. #3 - Atop the Fourth Wall

So our hero doesn't drink martinis, doesn't sleep around, doesn't wear a tuxedo, isn't a spy, doesn't have a license to kill, and has the generic puns any halfwit could come up with when quipping. So, yeah, he's just like James Bond - except in everything that makes James Bond James Bond.
Originally uploaded December 21st, 2009.
RUMINATIONS: I really need to get back to this series at some point. When I first did this review, the majority of my James Bond knowledge was based on the few movies I had seen and just general cultural osmosis. Nowadays I've seen MOST of the films, so I'd probably be in a better position to critique this stuff, especially since I DO own another James Bond, Jr. issue.
Still, what's more memorable to me about this review is not the comic, but a commenter. I have to presume they meant to post it under the Dark Knight Strikes Again review I had done two weeks previously, but instead they went for the then-most recent review - this one. In it, they lambasted me about how talentless I was, how pathetic and lame I was, and in particular how I admitted that I wouldn't be doing the reviews if I couldn't make money off of them (primarily because it takes too much time and effort to produce the show to do as a hobby. It's certainly a job I LOVE, but I can't do it JUST because I love it). And thus this comment:
"Wow, way to show some love there for your fans. Did you hear that people? The second he stops making money off of them? They're done, whether you enjoyed them or not. That's how much Linkara cares about you, the viewer. I know someone will use the example of "Well if The BeeGees wouldn't make money from singing, they would stop doing concerts." but that's not the point despite what anyone says. The point is you are not that big a star to be acting like a prima donna. You're just some clown on the Internet, anyone can do what you do. You're not special like the BeeGees. I also really doubt you make enough money off of these videos to enable you to make a living off of them, let alone to depend on them to survive."
I'M NOT SPECIAL LIKE THE BEE GEES. D=
And thus it will always be my greatest shame: that I will never be as popular as the Bee Gees.

[@jeremyneill227]

There was a barbarian kids cartoon way before Conan the adventurer, it was in the 80s and it was called Thundar the barbarian. The most notable thing about it is that Jack Kirby did several of the character designs.

[@TheOneTrueErica]

"James is ordering a weak martini and being snooty about it." My brother had to show me this clip. I am so glad he did.

[@Saturnfanboy]

I wonder how that guy would feel knowing you turned that BeeGees thing into a meme.

[@Magitek1112]

And the whole "tank shooting lasers" thing can be explained, by of course, the annoying censorship of cartoons back then. (For example, the inexplicable lasers in G.I. Joe, and other cartoons, and why in the Spiderman cartoon the cops carried laser guns) The people pulling guns is apparently okay as long as they don't actually fire them.

[@danieljames1868]

Cartoon 'verse. Laser tech is always gonna be advanced enough to be guns.

[@Dynaman21]

Funny enough, one of the few cartoons that got away with accurate firearms? The Rambo cartoon.

[@UltimaKeyMaster]

+Magitek1112 I still don't understand that logic. Shooting guns with bullets that are definitely treatable wounds if hit in less-than-lethal spots is bad, but shooting people with lasers that cause THIRD DEGREE BURNS AT MINIMUM is okay?

[@jeremyneill227]

That pissed me off as a kid, i knew what bullets where, it's second in my mind only to the never die, which also pissed me off as a kid. I get why they can't show graphic violence and brutality in a kids show, but what difference does it make if it's a bullet or a laser wildly missing the heroes?

[@calebmayfield3326]

+Dynaman21 Was there a Diehard or Indiana Jones Cartoon?

[@wardan1230]

i was gonna say James Bond Jr looked like a dead ringer for Captain N The Game Master

[@SeekerSean]

And now I have the head canon that James Bond Jr was taught how to be a super spy by Mitchell.

[@benjibuttons6380]

He learned the game from his Uncle James!! I always liked the theme song for this show, and thought of it is a close relative to Captain Planet.

[@LchanOtakudom]

Oh man, I remember all those cartoons..!! I'm kinda glad I passed over James Bond Jr for Transformers reruns. Thanks for posting another fun and silly review, Linkara, sorry you had to sit through the comic and the show!

[@godzillavkk]

Bond, James Bond... Jr. Yep, that one extra word completely takes away all the cool from an otherwise cool line.

[@SpeedyEric1]

I actually remember seeing bits of James Bond Jr. when I was in pre-school: it how I first heard of the James Bond franchise. I also remember watching the Highlander animated series. Thankfully, after Spoony did his Highlander 2 review, I finally got the chance to see the original movie on VHS from my local library, and eventually got the director's cut on Blu-ray. 20:43- YOU ARE TEARING ME AH-PART, MR. BOND!

[@mogan4534]

Man, the Sean Connery voice is really weird for a kid character

[@CanaleAV]

Oh, I loved this show when I was a kid...glad that Linkara brought it up in all its glorious cheese.

[@karda009]

You may not be as good as the BeeGees, but you sure are the bee's knees!

[@DianaGohan]

Well at least that means you won't be part of a deadly bee gees weapon. Bee gees, my god. .... What? I can't have been the only one to think that horrible stupid pun reference line was funny right?

[@AT4W]

I had never thought of that before. And I laughed my ass off at it. XD

[@callawolf531]

I remember loving James Bond Jr as a kid, and I'm a pretty big 007 to this day myself.....I kinda want to watch J.B. Jr again now

[@jeremyusreevu237]

It's sad when Moonraker is less silly than this.

[@Dynaman21]

As for Highlander, the Highlander anime "Search for Vengeance" was pretty badass. It was also decidedly made for adults.

[@firecrakerj3312]

If you ask me, James Bond Jr. looks a bit like young Joseph Joestar. He even sounds a bit like him.

[@dnm3732]

That's what I was thinking the whole time Glad I'm not the only one

[@GrandCorsair]

50 shades of gray the cartoon coming this fall to cartoon network.

[@SnowyDragoon]

... I sorta want that now...

[@thegayghost872]

Still better than Teen Titans Go

[@jeremyusreevu237]

@@thegayghost872 I don't hate TTG, but that is a sick burn.

[@ZeldaTheSwordsman]

The guy in the stinger clip forgets that Jimbo drinks vodka martinis... And in any case, being snooty about ordering a weak drink would be a great way to blend in with the boozing and schmoozing without actually getting really drunk.

[@PosthumanHeresy]

Maybe his grandfather named both his sons James Bond. My grandfather on my mom's side named both of his sons after himself.

[@nathanthompson4613]

PosthumanHeresy How’d that go? Sounds confusing, unless they had different variations of the name

[@rustedthunder6488]

George Foreman also apparently named each of his five sons George Foreman.

[@baliyae]

I remember this show. I wasn't a James Bond fan at the time, but it was okay for the time that it was around.

[@stakefr0mjatefarmvods534]

Wait! I know why GoldFinger has so many accents! He's the alternate universe version of Tommy Wiseau

[@trunksrocks1]

I did not kidnap her! I did NAUGHT

[@VeryPeeved]

so how is your sex life

[@Bauglir100]

I don't have one. Not since you castrated me with that laser!

[@jeremyusreevu237]

No. That would be Neil Breen

[@jackmonaghan8477]

Given Gert Froebe's original voice was dubbed for the movie, there's so many jokes you could make about Goldy's wandering accent.

[@jeremyusreevu237]

don't forget the robocop series, the police academy series, the dumb and dumber series, the ace ventura series, and the mask series.

[@Fiery891]

I used to like this cartoon as a child, and I remember seeing this episode... Looking back, it was not very good. But at the time I didn't care, there was tanks, explosions and an evil villain, and I was a kid.

[@spookyrosev6467]

I completely forgot about this until now. Also show of hands who wants the Nostalgia Critic to cover this on WTR?

[@calebmayfield3326]

You're talking about the cartoon right?

[@DinosaurFan88]

There's a Rambo and a Conan the Barbarian cartoon shows? Man, the networks really like to throw all sorts of crap at the wall and see what sticks, don't they?

[@Delta4280]

pretty much...

[@dukespubber741]

The Conan cartoon had little to do with the movie. Conan, his little phoenix pal, and a bunch of ethnically diverse compatriots battled a dark evil that can only be harmed by a special metal called "Star Metal."

[@islamroks11]

***** That policy hadn't changed to the present day.

[@islamroks11]

***** That policy hadn't changed to the present day.

[@Bauglir100]

***** There was an Aliens toyline marketed to kids.

[@johnkirby8939]

This comic left me shaken, not stirred. (rimshot) I'll see myself out.

[@UltimaKeyMaster]

James' voice actor can't seem to decide if he wants to be Americanized or have a poor imitation of a British accent. XD

[@TevyaSmolka]

10 years linkara reviews james bond junior number 1 damn time flys

[@Inlelendri]

As far as the animation goes, apart from the animator having a bit of trouble with how legs bend, it looks like they were scrimping on drawings (less than 24 per second, far less) apart from the key drawings which creates that choppy effect.

[@WangoTiags]

After all these years, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought he looks like Wheeler...

[@rorylumley4727]

Kids shows made out of non kids things also facanate me. Also did you know robocop had two cartoons. The teenage mutant ninja turtles is probably the most famous example as the orginal comic had extreme violence and other very adult things. The cartoon was so sucesful that it is know as kids franchise.

[@TF2Fan101]

Rory Lumley And then we have the 2003 cartoon, where people are killed off-screen, and an evil demonic creature feeds on the fears of the Turtles. Not exactly what would be seen as 'kid-friendly'.

[@AllieZelda]

James Bond Jr looks like Peter Venkman from Real Ghostbusters

[@troodon1096]

I've ran into so few people that remember the James Bond Jr. cartoon that for a while I wondered if I just imagined it.

[@CX462]

Actually one of the weirder things about this show is who apparently worked as a storyboarder on it. Dan povenmire.

[@Daminite]

Honestly if you look at the bond films Jr here comes of how I'd picture bond acting as a high school student in the 90s. Albeit with less horn dogging than the actual bond would be not just getting away with but succeeding at.

[@brianlewolfhunt]

Rewatching after the most recent episode. Good times.

[@spookyrosev6467]

I think I comment on how I found Peru's portrayal questionable as a third generation immigrant ,but I can now confirm that I have been to Lima and while it's not AS wealthy as America, it's better than what the comic portrayed.

[@FNGLHR]

Try not to be so hard on yourself, Lewis. The Bee Gees made Stayin' Alive! Who can possibly compete with that? XD

[@thewalrusclown]

Dose anyone else think Linkara's "007" voice sounds more like the "Challenge of the superfriends" Green Lantern than it dose Sean Connery?????

[@MrDman21]

IF LOOKS COULD KILL did the whole teen spy thing a lot better. Ironically it came out the same year as James Bond Jr.

[@SebastianLundh1988]

Man, I just had this random thought to search for this video, and it turns out it was originally uploaded _exactly_ 12 years ago.

[@SharpForceTrauma]

Hey Linkara, if you are still doing this I think you should review some of the Bloodshot series. When I was a kid I got a HUGE ass stack of old comics, some of them rare special issues with different covers, anniversary issues, original first prints, the whole 9 yards. Superman, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman, (W)Ren and Stimpy, but then I found a Bloodshot issue that I can't recall the number of. Anyways, it seemed out of place amongst the kids comics because of excessive civilian violence, dark theme, it was like a frigging slasher comic to me at that age. But looking back at it now, I never understood the story short of what's explained. And I think you will find the art to be just as cryptic as the story

[@Sfactor1990]

Does James Bond Jr's uncle aka 007 ever appear in the cartoon?

[@WhiteJarrah]

5:38 Coach Mitchell is ex-FBI.

[@mimkyodar]

Wait, I only JUST realised. Bond is an orphan!

[@Tareltonlives]

I thought we were all orpans

[@mimkyodar]

He's an orphan and an only child. He can't have a nephew.

[@Kodaemon]

Right, so I have a nasty cold right now and I'm watching EVERY SINGLE At4W episode I haven't yet because reasons. That said: 1:08 BRAND NEW COMBINE HARVESTER

[@FallofCyber]

I am the LAW -Doug Walker

[@TimothoNuva]

Regarding the description, I think Linkara is more entertaining than The BeeGees!

[@MicrowavedAlastair5390]

James Bond Jr. also has colorless irises. Creepy.

[@noir-214]

3:53 BANG "ow my eardrums why did if fighter with my head out side the tank, that was not a magnificent plane I didn't read the tank book"

[@inspectorspinda]

I guess they couldn't get the rights to Lupin III then.

[@eartianwerewolf]

I hate stories that are about an important character's kids or relatives -3-. It's just dumb. It's dumb to assume I should give a damn based on who they are related to. Unless the kid/ relative actually contributes to the main character's universe/story or they can stand on their own maybe it can work, but a lot of the time it seems like just a lame excuse to try and garner attention. It's just laammeee. I don't care if your uncle or father was super awesome. YOu aren't them! booh!

[@McBanditHope]

eartianwerewolf Ya know, the problem here can be solved *very* easily...just make them younger versions of the main characters. Since these cartoons and comic books rarely have the younger relatives of the main hero's given their own unique personality; settling for pretty much copying their uncle/aunts/fathers/mothers personality *VERBATIM.*

[@KitsuneAdorable]

I don't remember that cartoon from when I was a kid. I guess it was on an US channel that we didn't have at that time. But then I think I might have watched it as a kid. :P

[@animatrix1490]

Actually, the whole cast is colored "white-person" color. If you look in the panel where Odd-Job's pointing to the destination sticker (5:12), he looks really caucasian. I'm assuming it's mostly because of tight deadlines and colorists who didn't read any of the scripts.

[@Magitek1112]

At the very least I like you better than the Bee Gees. (Though that's probably because I had to listen to them every time I went to school. It kind of grates on your ears having to hear the same songs every week for hours)

[@bardocksboy2840]

*Sinks in seat because I actually enjoyed James Bond JR.*

[@AceAttorny]

Joe Don Baker IS Coach Mitchell.

[@Bauglir100]

0:27-0:45 At least Conan the Adventurer still resembles Robert E. Howard's original character and stories. Unlike shows today, like for example My Adventures With Superman, which feels like it was supposed to be an unrelated parody/tribute to classic anime but somehow got the Superman brand slapped on it at the last minute, because nobody wants to even try making new IPs anymore. Man, I hate what modern media has become.

[@genesismultiverse4896]

To be fair rambo could work with gi joe and Conan could work as the founder of eternia home to he man

[@garethspotfur1]

Either the school is a secret training ground for the next bond (if you subscribe to the code name theory), or its the British version of clone high

[@eddyeldridge7427]

There are certain things that are too mature, in their source material, but can be toned down into acceptable kids shows (at least in material, quality falls on the writers, animators, etc.) Rambo: If you can makes shows like GI Joe work, why not this? Conan: Its like He-Man, but with a fraction of the magic. James Bond Jr: There are plenty of kid spy shows that are essentially "James Bond Jr," this one just got the name. But what's JB other than a fantasy? "Men want to be him." Just take out the sex that kids aren't interested anyway, and leave the action, and its as much a fantasy for them. Robocop: Its about a cop who becomes a cyborg to fight crime. Much like the others, you can take out the mature stuff and have a fine show. The one exception I know of is "Little Shop of Horrors." That got a kids show. But you can't remove the violence from that without effecting the plot: Alien plants lives off human blood, shenanigans ensue.

[@DoubleATam]

I mean... you say it's dumb that they have a city with a name that is literally the word "port", but that's literally the case in Portugal. Only foreigners know it as "Oporto". I mean, it's not thaaat stupid. Ports are important, and at least in medieval times people weren't above naming a city after its purpose.

[@DMBLaan]

Some other R rated movies with kids cartoons include, but are not limited to - Robocop, The Toxic Crusaders, Alien Colonial Marines, Tales from the Crypt.

[@Psychicduelistrbd]

I always thought James Bond might be a code name

[@jakebryant3445]

I always thought that as well

[@callawolf531]

I never thought that, myself. Too many constant threads to make him a single character (such as his wife being referenced, either directly or indirectly, over three different Bond actors, and etc.)

[@88riperick]

Ah how far we've come 9 years

[@DeeManDrawsIsTheBest]

Maybe his sibling thought "Wow, my brother is such a great, cool spy guy that I'm gonna name my kid after him!" or maybe they lost a bet. I dunno, and I don't really care, never even heard of this crap until just now.

[@UltimaKeyMaster]

+Mr. Sammich Problem with that being Bond's an only child. (No, we're not counting Spectre, there's an obvious reason why that would never happen in that canon)

[@DeeManDrawsIsTheBest]

UltimaKeyMaster Thinking about it... saying Bond is his "uncle" would be a lot easier than explaining that mommy was just one in a long list of women that birth-daddy banged but never really loved...

[@UltimaKeyMaster]

Mr. Sammich I have a feeling everyone who acknowledges Jr. as a character just says he's just one of those million bastard kids.

[@robo-nidai4236]

Where do you think the commenter you mentioned in the ruminations is today? You think he ever goes on the internet and sees just how many episodes you've done?

[@DigiMega351]

20:45 - Oh no, he's turning into a Dingo Pictures character! AAAAHHH!!!!

[@jeremyusreevu237]

Most of these comic books are sooooooooo stupid!

[@RaptorofRex07]

Mitchell! keep your eyes on the sandmuich

[@Taraka1]

Man Linkara's head would've exploded if the Aliens Cartoon was released. Its why in 93 they made all the toys. But they never released it because no matter how tehy wrote it, something was going to die. (mainly through chest bursting or outright getting shot or melted.) And I hated James Bond jr. as a kid. Mainly because of the theme song.

[@Dynaman21]

+Taraka1 That theme song is so terrible. They were only four years removed from "The Living Daylights." They couldn't just use that?

[@Taraka1]

It just annoyed me, especially because I was in first grade and because my actual first name is James, I kept getting called James Bond Jr. (3rd Grade it went from that to James and the Giant Peach. ugh.)

[@Dynaman21]

+Taraka1 Well he is a little twerp. Coming off the Dalton Bond couldn't have helped.

[@BenCol]

+Dynaman21 what are you saying about Dalton's portrayal of James Bond?

[@Dynaman21]

+PixelBro64 That Dalton was a harder, darker portrayal of Bond. Going from him to a kid spinoff, a bad kid spinoff, is jarring.

[@L1701]

...I liked James Bond Jr. as a kid. It had an awesome theme song.

[@genesismultiverse4896]

Actually james bond jr looks more like captain planet

[@msmwkc]

this all sounds uncomfortably like the lost second season of Jonny Quest. Though at least their comics had William Messner-Loebs.

[@23oliwierstarosta42]

MAYBE THE COMIC BOOK WOULD BE BETTER IF THEY WOULD MAKE HIM WOODY ALLEN

[@jeremyusreevu237]

What?

[@23oliwierstarosta42]

@@jeremyusreevu237 Never mind. I too don't know what I meant by that.

[@thecollector527]

so... after almost seven years, have you finally became as special as the BEE GEES?

[@samuelbarber4154]

What?! How dare they not use Felix Lighter.

[@dakotadoyle7573]

9:09 so you could say "There's gold in them their hills"

[@damonr.1098]

Don't forget about Robocop.

[@MarcTaker]

RUMINATION COMMENT : and here you are, four years later, making a living off of your "little Internet show"... not necessarily a /great/ living, but I don't know you personally, you could be more than comfortable for all I know. point being, that commenter must be palming his face to hide the tears ;)

[@AquaFan1998]

actuary a martini shaken is a drink called a branston

[@georgemiser]

If this character was made into a comic today you can bet they would be better written than this. Call me an idiot but I would actually like to see Jr. have a crossover with his uncle. Maybe have a storyline where MI6 is trying to forcefully recruit Jr to their ranks, what with him being rather skilled in certain talents himself and his little cliq using tech that A:Is unlicensed and B:They could use for their own missions. 007 is opposed to this and tries to get his nephew to give up the unlicensed spy work. Considering the fact that his nephew is allot less of a womanising, licensed serial killer than he is, It could create great character development for JR. Showing him the harsh truth of the lifestyle his uncle's job requires and helping him stand on his own as a hero without blindly idolising the man he bases himself around, but still appreciating and admiring him for what he does right. But I'm not a writer and this is probably a terrible idea so what do I know? :P

[@karda009]

Y'know, that doesn't sound too far off of The Secret Service. So I guess Kingsmen is the closest we'll probably ever get to a movie adaptation of James Bond Jr.

[@Bauglir100]

***** Actually, the 1967 Casino Royale would be a LITTLE closer, since it actually does feature Bond's nephew, Jimmy.

[@karda009]

Huh. Well, I haven't seen many James Bond films, so I didn't know that.

[@UltimaKeyMaster]

+Jonathan Szuhai ..I mean, that's supposed to be a PARODY, though. XD

[@Tareltonlives]

James Bond Jr is climbing a Mountain Why is James Jr climbing a mountain?

[@1989Goodspeed]

15:36 What does it say on Oddjobs medallion… ?!

[@jeremyusreevu237]

OJ for Odd Job.

[@1989Goodspeed]

@@jeremyusreevu237 ...5Yares in the making...wow.

[@jeremyusreevu237]

@@1989Goodspeed Yup. 5 years and that comment is finally answered.

[@Tareltonlives]

Let's not forget the MORTAL KOMBAT cartoon.

[@Bauglir100]

Honestly, that one's not as surprising. The DOS port of the original game came packaged with temporary tattoos (thank you, LGR), and the movie was rated PG-13. An animated series for kids was guaranteed to happen.

[@Tareltonlives]

@@Bauglir100 And it gave us Phelan's reviews.

[@inotaishu1]

The whole percentage of white people in Peru can only be estimated and the percentages I found range from 5-18 %, roughly. However, in either case, especially considered where this "village" is, they really shouldn't be this pale or at least have a wider range of skin colors since Peru's main population is undoubtly mestizio. Plus isn't it great how progressive Americans spew out "ethnic" whenever referring to something not All-American... as if that changes anything about their own unchanged racism.

[@princealigorna7468]

I remember this cartoon! I cannot remember though why I liked it. It's so stupid in restrospect, but when I was like 8 this was cool shit! I want to pick that kid up and see if you can give an 8 year old shaken baby's syndrome now. Now a good James Bond style spy series with an underage protagonist, that would be the Alex Rider series of novels. Or there's Totally Spies. Or Kim Possible. You can never go wrong with Kim Possible. Ever. That show was fucking amazing!

[@BrandonRaske]

yes Kim possible is awesome

[@GarlicPudding]

I'm gonna look up that Rambo cartoon. XD

[@Riutanharju]

It's not unusual that a man has same name that his uncle. Take for example race car driver Jacques Villeneuve - guess what his patriarcal uncle's name is! 😏

[@thephantomoftheparadise5666]

Would you be against reading Anarky?

[@chefspiral]

It's ok linkara. The Bee Gees are not as big as the bee gees.

[@disneyfan85]

Is Goldfinger voiced by Jim Cummings?

[@eamonndeane587]

That's Jan Rabson. He voiced Tetsuo Shima in the original dub of Akira.

[@Mazaroth]

"Screeching sound" *REEEEEEEEEEEEE* Oh god :D

[@DigGil3]

Pfft. You can laugh all you like, but the second biggest city in Portugal is called "Porto" (which english speakers insist on pronouncing "Oporto") which literally means "Port" (as in for ships). Afteral why do you think there's "Port Wine"? It's the wine made from that city.

[@oliviawilliams6204]

ah come on everyone know Eldorado is Wonkanda *chuckles*

[@WeirdoOfWeirdos]

I think you're special like the Bee Gees. ...What's a Bee Gee?

[@AquaFan1998]

im british and that comic is full of bollox

[@TheSirenNymph]

I love this! XD

[@Christian-ml8lg]

the fuck