The Towel Rail (Melbourne 2017)

[@DragonAbode]

"-knock it off." "Look man, I tried to tell ya. You were the one that went on a power trip."

[@swindlesmccoop]

Actually, you are.

[@jai-kk5uu]

It wasn't a man, she was a karen.

[@jennymathews4292]

James Veitch using the power of chaos for good in the world is something I am here for.

[@SplotchTheCatThing]

??? I think this was more like for evil. But the FUN kind of evil. ...or at the very best, chaotic neutral. Though, to be honest, I'd really like to hear that conversation Andrew had with his landlord.

[@svenimeier1172]

So his alignment is Chaotic good?

[@GwenTheWitch]

Class: chaotic good.

[@itsinviscitellal]

Ahem

[@itsinviscitellal]

Amen

[@PharaohMisa]

ACTUALLY YOU ARE. Homie didn't know he was about to get Veitched.

[@jdzspace33]

To be fair he DID tell him he's not Phil. From that point on it's 100% on him

[@hazukichanx408]

Like all those fool scammers who do not realize that within a month or so, they'll be begging _him_ to stop contacting _them._

[@haranguemeringue8957]

Exactly. And since he got all “I know better about who you are than you do,” he definitely had it coming. 😂

[@roscoe4943]

I would like this comment but but it’s at 222 likes so I’m not gonna mess it up

[@alvallac2171]

@@roscoe4943 Now it's at 420.

[@dhruvamehrotra1975]

@@alvallac2171 Nah, mate some 5 other douchebags liked it and now its 425.

[@rickrose5377]

And this was PRE-PANDEMIC Veitch. Imagine him now with time on his hands.

[@punninsans3774]

Dear god

[@Jeff-ej9mb]

I really want him to release a video on telemarketers and his cars extended warranty. So far I (a novice) have gotten one of them to cuss me out and hang up after an hour and a half of chatting on the phone. James (or Phil) would be able to make the poor person who called him wish he was never born 😂

[@alexandriaprime4503]

OH NO I PITY ALL THE SCAMMERS!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@anthonyscarfe4853]

@@Jeff-ej9mb I told one that I didn’t have windows, so they rung back after viewing the house on street view and I then convinced them that the things that looked like windows were a secret government shield experiment. One now thinks I’m a conspiracy nut that doesn’t own a washing machine because it’s used for mind control. I proved to one that all forms of insurance is technically gambling, so they hung up to end all their insurance contracts. I even convinced one I didn’t have a phone.

[@LuxicCardinal]

There's proof of it, the cardgamr he made (:

[@johncho8766]

After watching this, I had to do a Google Map search of 11 Dover Place. Looks nice. But I hear the maintenance guy is a bit dodgy.

[@Kate98755]

it's the back up guy wgo is dodgy 😁

[@JDT-Loadsamoney]

I like the lack of windows, nice stylistic choice, even if I was thefted

[@HMOCreations1807]

😂😂😂

[@BallDGull]

@@JDT-Loadsamoney I like the tower of ice

[@JDT-Loadsamoney]

@@BallDGull you’ve just brought me back to this comment. What the fuck does me saying “even if I was thefted” mean? God damn, I’m gonna have to watch this video again now.

[@arouraskeatch5903]

Ah yes, the child of chaos. Always happy to see him on my recommended once in a purple moon

[@louvie1066]

We do like that child.

[@VictorDeMeira]

I'm from Brazil and have no idea what a Towel Rail is and the bit is definitely still 100% funny.

[@ilkkat]

Not sure, but you can heat your towels with that.

[@jennymathews4292]

I may be wrong about this but I’m pretty sure a towel rail is like a heated bar that you put your towels on so your towels are warm for you when you get out of the shower

[@MattMann-cr2nj]

It's a radiator for your bathroom where you put your wet towels so they dry quickly and they are warm when you get out of the bath or shower.

[@darrenmacqueen9884]

Saw this video years ago, and only now thanks to these comments did I learn what a towel rail was. Didn't matter, still found the video funny anyway.

[@Garium87]

​@@jennymathews4292 You don't run it just to heat your towels. It's more like a nice extra.

[@K.J.Ray421]

As someone in the HVAC trade, I feel like this type of approach could have been used to answer a few questions I've had over the years.

[@everhartpetrichor]

You are too hilarious, please never stop doing what you do.

[@7-11thuniverse]

heheh, your profile picture gives me such nostalgia- all hail ;)

[@girlwheels]

@@7-11thuniverse ppp

[@girlwheels]

@@7-11thuniverse 0p of loop pop p0p of

[@girlwheels]

Oh

[@spikegorman1650]

Love the profile pic. ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD!

[@Zenologia4673]

I love how he doesn’t really finish a full sentence and he’s still funny as hell

[@palacefords]

Imagine being the landlord and trying to piece together the outrageous story demanding an explanation coming from your tenant

[@dame_nation]

the one dislike is from the tenant.

[@ElectrodeOverload]

The other one is the real landlord as well

[@fomoco300k]

@@ElectrodeOverload The third is from tenant’s mom who is worried he might catch cold.

[@ajparadise6649]

The fourth, fifth, and sixth, are the people that worked in maintenance and had to fix it on the end.

[@ElectrodeOverload]

@@ajparadise6649 The other 13 are the other tenants in 11 Dover place

[@nelsonthibeau4480]

@@ElectrodeOverload yeah construction noise really echoes in these buildings 😂

[@nastyagerukha7032]

I wonder how hilariously awesome the conversation with the real landlord went 😂😂😂 - «PLEASE DON’T REMOVE ANY WINDOWS» - «Are you high, where did you get that idea»

[@BitofeverythingViSA]

i wish all the people of the internet could get together and find this guy .. I'm desperate to see his reaction to the vid

[@rpv9226]

I just wanted to know if he stopped being an asshole after James Veitch gave him this lesson

[@nicolespiteriswain2453]

Forget that guy, I want to see Phil's reaction. Because I can imagine this guy storming to Phil's apartment and started to yell at him about the window plan for Wednesday and Phil being curious about what the hell is going on

[@billyanderson321]

I actually live in the same flat as “Andrew” (not his real name or even 11 Dover btw).He is aware of the video, every time we contact the landlord for maintenance all of us tenants joke about this. He’s actually not a bad guy. Said he was in such shock about the response that he didn’t realize it was fake till he asked another tenant if they ever had issues and realized it was the wrong number (had last 4 backwards).

[@JustEvelynAndArt]

@YouDontKnowMe I mean he does actually respond to scam emails and the like.

[@DoctorX17]

Send a letter to 11 Dover Place and see if he's still there

[@gordontheengineswifedr.nirmal]

The animation with sound is a complete riot!

[@computermdms]

ive seen this many times and ill gladly come back and watch it again

[@henntendo]

This is just James bullying some poor tennant for 4 Minutes 51 Seconds.. *i love it*

[@hazukichanx408]

And I mean, the guy did insist that he was Phil, James had no choice really, he didn't want to cause a fuss^^

[@polyphonicgherkins]

First he bullied the tenant over text, then some more by performing this routine and posting it on the internet for everyone to watch. :)

[@Rose-yx6jq]

I mean he did try to say that he had the wrong number, after that it was all on him.

[@jennymathews4292]

James Veitch is the epitome of chaotic good and I love it.

[@MaximizationDF]

chaotic neutral*

[@LiberMentis-LM]

@@MaximizationDF Nope, definitely chaotic good

[@TheBluestflamingos]

@@LiberMentis-LM I think his roomates would beg to differ

[@hazukichanx408]

Alignment aside, he has definitely attained Madlad 100.

[@margeryriviers3432]

Totally on board with Phil’s Four-step Plan! This is one of my favorite comedy routines. Never fails to crack me up every time. A brilliant takeoff on the pervading culture of impatience meets text messaging meets its match in hilarious delightfully quick James. Outstanding!!

[@spiralfirst6488]

It seems so straightforward and obvious but it really takes intelligence and effort for this stuff. Completely excellent.

[@THE_PLAYER_ZER0]

When you see the chance, you take it! And I respect James for that.

[@TesserId]

Very re-watchable. I'm sure I'll be back for this one. The ducks are due for another visit, as well.

[@TesserId]

Yup, still re-watchable. So, funny.

[@Taikeb0]

The 4 step plan is legendary

[@Christopher-vj2ie]

I think this is one of my favourites you've done. xD

[@_Hajar_]

This and the ducks.

[@admirallily]

Dear, tenant. The next time someone tells you they are not the person you think they are, maybe believe them.

[@slyking214]

To be fair to the tenant he thought Veitch was referring to not being the guy in charge of maintenance.

[@janise01]

He actually didn't say he wasn't Phil tho.

[@Chazer5]

After reading the description I can tell you that I'd never heard of a "heated towel rail" before I saw this, and assume it's some sort of fancy version of a towel rack, as in a rod or bar hanging out of the wall in a bathroom that you hang a towel over for it to dry which also heats the towel to dry it faster. That's just what made sense in my mind but who knows, I could be entirely wrong and as a result completely missing the punchline. I doubt it though. Then again...plausible deniability.

[@daroldcarold3443]

Croydon is a large town in south London, England. It is 9.4 miles (15.1 km) south of Charing Cross. The principal settlement in the London Borough of Croydon, it is one of the largest commercial districts in Greater London outside Central London, with an extensive shopping district and night-time economy.[2] The entire town[3] had a population of 192,064 as of 2011,[4] whilst the wider borough had a population of 384,837. Croydon P1490912 The Old Town Hall,Katherine Street.. Croydon...jpg Saffron Square Tower, Croydon, London.jpg NLA Tower.jpg Grant's, High Street, Croydon - geograph.org.uk - 33228.jpg Clockwise from top: the Old Town Hall and Clocktower (with the Spreadeagle in the foreground), Katharine Street; No. 1 Croydon building; the Grants Building, High Street; Saffron Square and other blocks Croydon is located in Greater LondonCroydonCroydon Location within Greater London Population 192,064 (2011 Census)[1] OS grid reference TQ335655 • Charing Cross 9.4 mi (15.1 km) N London borough Croydon Ceremonial county Greater London Region London Country England Sovereign state United Kingdom Post town CROYDON Postcode district CR0 Dialling code 020 01689 (Addington and New Addington parts) Police Metropolitan Fire London Ambulance London UK Parliament Croydon Central Croydon North Croydon South London Assembly Croydon and Sutton List of places UK England London 51.3727°N 0.1099°W Historically part of the hundred of Wallington in the county of Surrey, at the time of the Norman conquest of England Croydon had a church, a mill, and around 365 inhabitants, as recorded in the Domesday Book of 1086.[5][6] Croydon expanded in the Middle Ages as a market town and a centre for charcoal production, leather tanning and brewing. The Surrey Iron Railway from Croydon to Wandsworth opened in 1803 and was the world's first public railway. Later 19th century railway building facilitated Croydon's growth as a commuter town for London. By the early 20th century, Croydon was an important industrial area, known for car manufacture, metal working and Croydon Airport. In the mid 20th century these sectors were replaced by retailing and the service economy, brought about by massive redevelopment which saw the rise of office blocks and the Whitgift Centre, the largest shopping centre in Greater London until 2008. Croydon was amalgamated into Greater London in 1965. Croydon lies on a transport corridor between central London and the south coast of England, to the north of two high gaps in the North Downs, one taken by the A23 Brighton Road and the main railway line through Purley and Merstham and the other by the A22 from Purley to the M25 Godstone interchange. Road traffic is diverted away from a largely pedestrianised town centre, mostly consisting of North End. East Croydon is a major hub of the national railway transport system, with frequent fast services to central London, Brighton and the south coast. The town is also at the centre of the only tramway system in southern England

[@rdouthwaite]

Yeah, you pretty much nailed it.

[@peter_smyth]

Exactly. A frame of horizontal rods attached to the wall, either electric or connected to central heating pipes, designed to dry towels and heat the bathroom.

[@EvenTheDogAgrees]

Well, granted... You could speculate about this and share your speculation with us in the hopes of someone either confirming your suspicions, or correcting you. Or you could do an image search and know in 10 seconds. You took the only sensible course of action.

[@JmDGamez]

Put simply; its a less powerful radiator that is purpose built to hang towels over the rods and when on helps prevent black mould from the extra moisture in the air

[@sidewinder27]

Was there to see him live. One of the funniest shows at the festival that year!

[@aussiea1972]

This is one of the very few comedians that can still make me genuinely make me laugh 😂

[@FaceInTheCrowd]

James , you always manage to dispel any gloomy moods! 😂 Your humour and presentation is spot on; nice one. Thank you.

[@hesdeadjim66]

Holy cow the 4 step plan... I was laughing so hard at step 1 I had to pause the video.

[@nadiehtje10]

I will never tire of these video’s no matter how many times I see them. They’re just so entertaining and fun

[@donwanna3906]

James is incredibly helpful to this tenant.

[@hazukichanx408]

"The customer is always right", they say... so when he tells you you're Phil, you really have no choice but to become Phil.^^

[@Alfr9302]

This man needs a tv show or something it would be glorious

[@elhopper3735]

James Veitch is the definition of Chaotic Good and I’m here for it

[@framebrain]

I could watch this about once a month... love it.

[@antigrav6004]

Glad he's reuploading. Keeps him relevant

[@Dmdragonslayersquad]

Every time I watch this I almost die. It’s the most perfect thing of ever. I’ve watched it like 20 times but I just watched it again and I couldn’t breath for several minutes.

[@tonguepetals]

This never fails to make me die laughing.

[@KaRLa66626]

Have seen several of his videos. I LOVE HOW HE DEALS WITH THEM!!!

[@quokka0.0nraven]

I always send my friends who appreciate humor to this guy. How amazing... I love his one with the pool company

[@Doomdriver1468]

This was the best laugh I had in awhile

[@michaelgrey1503]

Glad to see this up as, when the TBS version went up I couldn't find the original anymore.

[@dgpsf]

James this is still as funny as it was years ago

[@unscentednapalm8547]

Usually with a wet heating system the bathroom towel rail is left open to the system and without a regulation valve to avoid the possibility of the boiler circulation pump 'dead heading'.

[@user_3460]

I hope they became friends cuz that would be one hell of a story to tell at the dinner table.

[@sylviacarmichael7525]

At eight years old I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said a hermit, that was sixty years ago and I'm still working on it so don't text me! Love your humour!

[@lukewarmwater6412]

sometimes people just NEED to be messed with. good to know someone is out there taking care of this when I dont have the time!

[@eclairlu7586]

“By this point, I had plans” XD XD

[@LukewarmPizza]

3:50 love that guy saying "WHAT'S TWO?!" in the crowd

[@majingazetto5147]

You must be one of the most hilarious people to walk this planet. Yet I bet your friends and family love and hate you at times for your unique since of humor. Keep it up. 👍

[@zoleroid7027]

The first time I watched this I spent about an hour trying to figure out how a towel rail was making it warm

[@amaan7745]

"Chaos is not a pit it's my Breakfast" - James Veitch

[@malachy5121]

wow that last bit was an emotional roller-coaster

[@Tredenix]

Can I just point out, what kind of terrible house plan is this where the en suite is a solid 3x the size of the main bathroom??

[@gamegeeks4243]

He did plan to expand the bathroom.

[@centerflag982]

And most of that space appears to be empty floor

[@TheSlayerDiary]

I find this is pretty common where I live in Canada. The en-suite here is actually called the master bathroom. (Connected to the master bedroom, just largest bedroom)

[@jezeski2011]

Thank you for posting that; I really wanted to see it again.

[@brandieo6165]

Dude you are too funny! I love your sense of humor!

[@Wicksta473]

Hey there James! random dude on the internet again. Sorry, I haven't commented much lately since last time. I hope 2020 got better for you. The year just keeps getting harder for us medical professionals. I wish you the best next year and can't wait to see whatever new material you've cooked up! Best Regards!

[@joshualally2883]

Hey there James! Random dude on the Internet commenting on a random dude on the Internet again. Sorry I haven't commented much since last time. I hope 2021 was better for you. Last year just kept on getting harder for medical professionals. I wish you the best for this year and can't wait to see whatever new matarial you've cooked up! Best regards! And don't forget the ducks!

[@robins2119]

Hey there James! Random dude on the internet replying to a random dude on the internet replying to a random dude on the internet again. Sorry, I haven't commented much lately since last time. I hope 2021 got better for you. The year just keeps getting harder for us medical professionals. I wish you the best next year and can't wait to see whatever new material you've cooked up! Best Regards! And don't forget the ducks or Solomon!

[@isabelgee5062]

Honestly this man just brightens up my day

[@RatherPratty]

I’m now using this power of Veitch to respond to spam emails, and trust me, it’s hella fun!

[@theyearwas1473]

Closure was the best part 🤣😆

[@paulripp8802]

How is this guy not bigger of an act? Get this man a Netflix contract.

[@SoNextJenn]

Because he did some unsavoury misdeeds in the past and deletes the comments that mention it. Speaking of which…👋 Hi James! Keep up the censorship!

[@teebee9903]

I ABSOLUTELY loved the way this man thinks!! And he's cute too!

[@jeffersonsharp2292]

Always fun to watch the GOAT of trolls.

[@613aristocrat]

We all love a happy ending.

[@weatherwitchandfelinefamiliars]

I'm just imagining if Andrew was actually in the audience 😂😂

[@samtuttle4103]

Simply fantastic, as a renter I fully understand his panic

[@nyotamwuaji6484]

The guy was probably like "yeah, i did kinda start this. I'll tell him"

[@elliotmcguire7769]

Your comedy is amazing

[@baggyleinhunter539]

I watched this video so many times and it's always funny. 😂🎉

[@karend99143]

I cried My eyes out with Laughter! Thank you!!!!!

[@Whovian103]

This story: *large book* This story if James had told the dude he got the wrong number in the same text: *small book*

[@Alex-qh8lo]

Can we just appreciate the lengths that he goes to? Like, awesome

[@bostonblackie9503]

Glad to see he has been on Letterman and The Tonight Show! I watch these videos over and over again, it is just so funny!

[@dreed138]

This man is a national treasure

[@greeber18]

His timing is impeccable

[@2muchtalk173]

One of his best bits ever!!

[@electrofonickitty823]

The force is strong with this one

[@RemoraDFC343]

I was in tears. Brilliant.

[@grantkruger3689]

"...so you can knock it off", hey, HE started it! XD

[@lisabinhawaii]

I can't watch this enough.

[@chr13]

2:59 The automatic subtitles say "you should send an anime to give firearms". Okay, whatever you say.

[@SeptillionSeven]

3:40 You managed to kill me with humor, Im phuquing dead

[@arescue]

James, you are so devious.

[@jenniferdegrote3298]

Love James Veitch. Always makes me smile 💞💗

[@ellabella2603]

I have to wonder, when you remove the walls, don't you also remove the towel rail? Where I live, they are usually attached to the walls. So removing the walls should solve the problem and step 3 and 4 are not really necessary. I can't say much about step 2 because, well, bathrooms are always too small, so expanding them is not a bad thing.

[@DinoLoverGaming]

the funny peaked at "remove all four walls" for me

[@dreaminlayers]

I loved this the first time I watched it, still good the second time! 🤣

[@isaackay5887]

This gets me every time 😂

[@johnglad5]

I need more of these!!!!!

[@JensPilemandOttesen]

Seen this 10 times... Still funny.

[@JensPilemandOttesen]

11

[@pear7777]

Kudos to Andrew for being such a good sport

[@pear7777]

If I was Andrew I'd invite him for a drink.

[@jennymathews4292]

NOBODY GIVE THIS MAN A SLEDGEHAMMER

[@SerialAnkleBiter]

I love how he comes out and just starts talking like he’s greeting his friends

[@mzimmma]

Come on man. We need something as good as those goodies

[@Т1000-м1и]

So much 2018 nostalgia

[@albertalbert4333]

You my friend, are a genius 👏

[@cheriemonami]

You are a funny guy, James Veitch.

[@kristinepfs]

I wish you would do more like this!! This one was hilarious!

[@veljkostejic9594]

the four step plan killed me