Jeff Goldblum Critiques Jeff Goldblum Tattoos | Tattoo Tour | GQ

When you become as iconic as Jeff Goldblum, fans are going to get portraits of you tattooed on their body. We asked Goldblum to rate his likeness in ink.
"I like to look at #jeffgoldblum on Instagram, which my wife makes fun of. And then I take pictures of the things that interest me. [Pulls out his phone] There are many paintings and pictures of me, some nice and some very primitive and bad. People get tattoos of my face. This is me in a banana split, where I’m the center of a dessert. People made a balloon out of me…very nipply. Quite nipply." - Jeff Goldblum, 2017
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Jeff Goldblum Critiques Jeff Goldblum Tattoos | Tattoo Tour | GQ

[@victorkong82]

He talks like a jazz musician plays

[@deutschbagnl]

He actually plays jazz on the piano, fittingly enough.

[@victorkong82]

ya i've been to his jam sessions many times

[@billieribot6339]

That could not have been more accurate to describe exactly the way he talks 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@dangitdoodles]

*Victor Kong* as a jazz musician I am very confused as to what this means. This could just be me being dumb though 😂

[@natalie8212]

@@dangitdoodles He doesn't use regular speech patterns, like words are emphasized in places not to make a point, but that's just his pattern. It's very unique and follows no rules. Like jazz.

[@RandomPerson-jg5qm]

He talks as if he's always trying to explain something to a blind person.

[@leacristina821]

Random Person perfect description.

[@fruitygarlic3601]

All of us are blind to his majesty.

[@Mika-rx5ji]

He’s just trying to explain to us the world in his eyes which is obviously the superior way to look at life

[@SimoneBamboo]

I guffawed lol

[@MikeGilroyMusic]

I know someone that reminds me of goldblum. What a compliment.

[@alreadymad5376]

Goldblum: *sees an image of himself* This is very very beautiful

[@howardmckenna]

It was an exceedingly good likeness.

[@WalterLiddy]

In fairness though, it was.

[@HOTD108_]

Please refer to 0:02

[@daartist2256]

I Guess Jeff Goldblum Wasn’t Acting When Playing The Grandmaster In Thor Ragnarok.

[@michaelvino8679]

Of course not

[@corvidaedalus]

This man doesn’t act, everyone just hires him to be himself on set.

[@jessicaprumm2494]

Lol 😂

[@SockDrawerDemon]

Sometimes The Grandmaster pretends to be an actor.

[@poesiefumeur]

Actually, most of the movie "Ragnorak" was unscripted.

[@TomBombadil168]

"Skin like a freshly peeled apple." That, is an incredible way to describe pale skin.

[@superanimegamer01]

I never figured Guts would be a Jeff Goldblum fan, but it makes me so happy that he is.

[@trlb5671]

so creepy

[@alexandresobreiramartins9461]

Quite creative, I'd say.

[@Lalala-fz2ci]

Kiah C. I’d pay him to eat me lol

[@-belue-6697]

La la la ...WOWIE WOAH WOAH WOW WOW! 😳😏😳

[@sarahperkins6421]

He rated them out of Goldblums. This video couldn't have been more perfect if I dreamt it.

[@cnsummers4086]

Sarah Perkins Tell me about it. This man is perfection lol 😍

[@dizzyvalentine]

Sarah Perkins Right?!😂😊

[@ScottyB0AllDay]

He did the same thing on First We Feast. All of the sauces got 10/10 Goldblums except for the last one, it got 11/10.

[@GuadalupeGuacamole]

My tombstone will read: 10 Goldblums out of a possible 10 Goldblums 🤣🤣🤣

[@moccachino7961]

So lovely 😂

[@butimscaredofthedark3895]

"what kind if limb is that?" "some kind of fleshy appendage"

[@RoyaIArtz]

Lmao this is one of the reasons words collapse to describe him

[@JonasPolsky]

Jeff Goldblum is at once flamboyant, and subdued. Truly a fascinating character.

[@luknowit475]

That's the best way I've heard him described. Love him. Truly unique

[@rotcod2886]

I give Jeff Goldblum 10 out of 10 Jeff Goldblums!

[@RachaelHughes]

Bless

[@ThisOldHat]

I give Jeff Goldblum 6 out of 7 Chaplins.

[@xLeon]

hahahah u deserve more likes

[@ackminecrer9165]

Only 10?

[@FreakinFred08]

Perhaps "The Goldblum" should replace "The Star" as the new standard of measure.

[@zachpetersen5699]

#9. Looks at picture of self: 'I'm in shock. This is very, very beautiful'.

[@Spo8]

Zach Petersen he's not wrong.

[@Orangeflava]

haha he just sits there staring. hilarious!

[@paradoxpizza]

Lol I watched the video too

[@ma.8436]

XD I love that part

[@lukeism2]

That tattoo was very beautiful though. It’s the best out of the lot

[@NESherv]

Alternative title: "Jeff Goldblum Critiques Jeff Goldblum Tattoos in the Most Jeff Goldblum Possible Way"

[@Rafael-mh6yz]

Well it is jeff goldblum so I'd imagine its very jeff goldblumy

[@frankie458]

some notes: 1. why cant the entire american government be jeff goldblum 2. i love watching jeff goldblum talk about himself 3. is there a book of just jeff goldblum quotes and if yes, where can i purchase

[@eugenegrewing2587]

He is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs.

[@Vampwars]

Eugene Grewing, AGREED!!!

[@delilahfox3427]

Eugene Grewing Someone call Nicholas Cage.

[@ramazantekin4144]

he is not a national treasure, he is a planetary treasure. all nations world wide must protect him at all costs.

[@dragonfly6908]

Eugene Grewing I would like this national treasure in my chest.

[@timetodeliverapizzaball]

Jeff has beautiful speech cadence.

[@sheevpalpatine1105]

my history professor talks a lot like him, i like to close my eyes during lecture, so it's kina like im listening to jeff goldblum talking about roman orgies

[@MelissaRae1975]

lol i read this just as he critiqued #7 mentioning his speech cute

[@Cheesurius]

@@sheevpalpatine1105 Yeah, sure. You are sleeping during lecture and you want to get away with it :P

[@AirborneAshes]

he needs his own late night radio show

[@doughliciouscookies8830]

@@sheevpalpatine1105 😂😂

[@sapphic_sophie]

I love that he keeps saying “I’ve never seen this” like he tries to review every tattoo people get of him

[@idocare6538]

Haha I was thinking the same thing and he seems so experienced at it!

[@norge0209]

I think he pays attention to fan art online - or is, at least, aware of it.

[@Somelikeitthrift]

Lmaooo

[@amarlover5381]

He’s so judgy but at the same time so unnecessarily polite and respectful ahaha

[@TheOne-bv8wi]

Yes!!!

[@blindeyes9385]

Im now convinced that in the new thor movie they didn't give him lines they just dressed him up and let him loose and he was just bieng himself

[@supr33]

Some of the lines were in fact improvised I think

[@bethysboutique]

Most of his lines were mad libbed

[@artonline01]

In fact those were not costumes, he just showed up on set dressed that way, probably just frésh off a rave.

[@artonline01]

Jeff Goldbluming about is just the best

[@atsum3053]

Blindeyes tons of the movie was improvised, so you’re not wrong

[@daltonmoen1404]

So Jeff plays a slightly less weird version of himself in most of his movies. I love ir

[@mcfreeddom958]

This resonates so true.......

[@canguelomortal]

Jeff Goldblum saying "huevos rancheros" is my jam.

[@GoofyGooberMars]

😂😂😂😂😂 I haven't gotten to that part yet but I already love it

[@benjaminpatron9132]

*looks at picture of himself* “I’m in shock. This is very, very beautiful”

[@debbiethemadbee]

That one is amazing though.

[@Rapunzel-pp5ec]

@@debbiethemadbee very amazing 😘

[@suoppsdn9751]

Jeff Goldblum is a trooper. No matter how hideous some of those Tattoos looked he made light of them.

[@-belue-6697]

Steve Rabon "EVERYONE GETS A TEN OUT OF TEN, YOU'LL SEE!"

[@-belue-6697]

😎

[@lunarleona]

I don’t know why, but I lost it when they showed him the hyper realistic tattoo and he just went, “I’m in shock”

[@funguy8801]

"Reflections ... uhh .... find a way!"

[@prphawke]

Your inquisitor is beautiful!

[@michellelosoya4720]

I read your comment right as he was saying that in the video and thought the same thing 😂😂😂

[@thenameisv6586]

Does he have a podcast? He should have a podcast.

[@holdtrue2021]

IKR he been doing apartment commercials so0 lame 💩

[@CowboyBoomBoomSlim]

Look up 'Conan needs a friend' on Spotify ;)

[@reagannn6211]

“my lips are full, in a way that mine aren’t full exactly”

[@chioma916]

"i played a detective on television, so i notice things that others may not" pROTECT THiS PURiTY!

[@escapistfromhell1543]

chio uruakpa how i miss zak nickols

[@RoNinja]

Made me laugh cuz he didn’t notice it was a leg

[@LadyJ_88]

"I like it's obtuseness" 😂 God I love this man

[@thecaptain2281]

I can't stand tattoo's. However, some of these were really very good.

[@LadyJ_88]

TheCaptain agreed captain

[@LadyJ_88]

TheCaptain #9 is particularly gripping

[@Davidovar34]

I really hate that man.

[@LadyJ_88]

Davidovar34 Booooooo

[@truestory5695]

A blind person could understand everything in this video awesome

[@faithtomorrow]

Had the exact same thought! He's describes things so eloquently.

[@FangsMcGee]

10 Goldblums out of 10 Goldblums would highly recommend

[@meadowfrance]

Jeff Goldblum should start a podcast

[@Bookworm-ye9qi]

I could listen to him talk about toothpaste ingredients and it would be interesting

[@LilTina]

Oh my god yes!

[@sherryli6596]

ramona lynn yes.

[@DAN420.]

Yeah, but your Tattoo artist were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.

[@Htownblokhedz]

Dan lmao

[@tira2993]

I don't understand why this comment doesn't have more likes! Lol

[@jondunmore4268]

10 Goldblums out of 10 Goldblums for this Comment.

[@damaryscesani7743]

Omg 😂 I have never laughed so hard reading a comment. Dan that was brilliant! Thanks for the laugh!

[@monty3927]

Best comment ever!

[@Wolfstar26]

"the colour of skin like a freshly peeled apple, beautiful" i love this man

[@envyrem]

"That is a very manly arm" That would be a leg, Jeff

[@123misou]

He's talking about the arm that the tattoo artist "drew" for him

[@hectorvieira4368]

His enthusiasm appears to be so genuine that I actually believe he can appreciate simple things in life, which is always a great personality feature. Oh, and he's very entertaining. Congrats, man, you're GOLDblum.

[@567poppyseed]

Can he PLEASE host a kids television show? His cadence is perfect for an eccentric educational host

[@LetsGoFlyers2011]

Imagine if they reboot Mr Wizard and have JG as the lead.... in his lab coat... and pink scarf.

[@shazzer650]

Mr. Goldblum’s Neighborhood. 15/10 would watch.

[@ciarahelton8444]

I love how most celebrities is like “why would you get a tattoo of me!?!?” And he doesn’t even question it. He knows he’s great.

[@spooky.dorito]

*if you go on **_the youtube_*

[@lindzay5359]

Wait, so Jeff Goldblum IS the characters he plays? Fascinating

[@starwarsroo2448]

All I see is a more outrageous version of Ian Malcolm

[@DstrtdMnd]

I met him twice, and all I have to say is "yes". A delightful guy that seemed just as excited to meet me as I was to meet him.

[@BurningRabbit666]

Jeff Goldblum is the perfectly eccentric older man. I like him a lot, he is amazing in inverviews and such xD

[@whyjordie]

“Once again, our friend the velociraptor” 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Stylesinner]

that dinosaur with life uhh finds a way is just pure genius. Love it. Want it, but don't want to be unoriginal.

[@FreeMan-zb7xe]

misspelling genius is not very genius

[@Stylesinner]

ah thanks!

[@TickleThatMonkey]

@@FreeMan-zb7xe They weren't claiming to be genius but praising someone else for it, so get off your high horse for correcting someone's spelling as you completely misunderstood the meaning and usage of the word genius in their post

[@michaelvino8679]

Then make it a raptor?

[@apollyon7617]

He looks damned fantastic for a 65 year old man.

[@MrsStinnnsfire]

he looks damned fantastic for any man over 35 really lol

[@Iaredantastic]

He looks maybe 35

[@user-pg2vz9qr1m]

My math teacher is only 60 and he looks like a freaking corpse! Why can't every old guy be Jeff Goldblum?

[@remingtomi8212]

Wait he's 65??

[@baekksong3970]

HE'S 65???

[@beths3288]

Jeff looks awesome. He holds up very well. And he's just the right amount of weird.

[@bethysboutique]

Beth S he’s beautiful.

[@Bookworm-ye9qi]

We should all strive to be like Jeff Goldblum

[@Misspadthai]

“2:14 this is a manly arm. I may be wrong. I played a detective so I notice things that others may not” Does realize it’s a leg 😭😂 He’s so precious. I can’t 😍

[@km-kl3lg]

He's talking about the tattoed arm/Hand.

[@rebeccamatthews4641]

On my resume under hobbies: “Watching Jeff goldblum react to Jeff goldblum things”

[@TheOne-bv8wi]

Yes!!!

[@cperez8919]

Need for more GOLDBLUM! This guy. This guy is priceless. He’s incredibly smart and humorous too. I like to listen to him when he’s interviewed-so funny. And let’s not forget, handsome.

[@anders671]

C Perez that's for sure. He and Mr. Jeremy Irons are always lovely to listen to

[@bethysboutique]

He’s an absolutely treasure to this earth! I saw the photo shoot he did with his wife and little sons recently for a magazine and it melted my heart

[@Turbogirl90]

"Skin like a freshly peeled apple" lovely.

[@Nerdicronia]

turbogirl Yes, it was. :3

[@wishbone529]

I need him as an art teacher

[@iuhiac548]

He would actually be a good critic of ANYTHING basically

[@captainteeko4579]

I had a dream once I was dating goldblum and I don’t know whether to be proud or disturbed by where my brain was going with the concept...

[@cnsummers4086]

Captain Teeko Omg I had a similar dream last night & here I am checking out vids of him 😂 My subconscious knows I want him lol

[@DigitalDuelist]

Both depending on which side or sides of the fence you play ball on! Go with what feels right. . .

[@thatsthat2612]

No matter what team you play for, be proud...the man is a legend which means your brain is working on a genius level.

[@jjlatinopedia]

Me too!!! He bent me over and showed me the 50 states

[@maartengoetheer3148]

Proud

[@kassandrajasso]

The foxiest of all the silver foxes EVER!

[@zweij]

Cassius RICHARD GERE

[@user-mb9nm7bq5e]

juliazwei that's a gerbil

[@thedahaka4544]

I'm a silver fox but i'm only 18 wtf???!

[@ashleypayette1009]

Definitely

[@lori2721]

I never felt like I needed a Jeff Goldblum tattoo until now...

[@kaydynjael3234]

Who else wants Jeff Goldblum to have his own KZbin channel??? 😂

[@doodoodoometal]

65 years old? no way !

[@alexsilva28]

In any other planet he would be millions of years old but here... Uh...

[@Babytronians]

Alex Silva *awkward wink*

[@bethysboutique]

SlothGiraffe Thor: “LOKI. You... you didn’t... oh god you did....”

[@trje246]

For serious?!!? omg, if you stopped me in the street and asked me I would've said 40 maybe 50 max. I'm still living in the 90's!!!!!

[@loveharrydaily]

Green Grohl and has a 34 year old wife....

[@TheMovieMyLife]

This was truly special, in the best way. 😊

[@giaa2884]

TheMovieMyLife - He's a fun guy.

[@demettressw84]

TheMovieMyLife love him!

[@cristiep7377]

Agreed, must watch again, in fact. How fun is he?!

[@beautifulballerina8360]

TheMovieMyLife I swear to the lord, I see your comments on every video I watch, so I clicked you channel a couple of months ago and I subscribed!

[@cornhole9165]

u are a internet legend

[@KarunaSatoriASMR]

@4:32 “wha- what the heck is going on there” *LMAOOOO*

[@schymark8392]

He's quite a guy

[@jessel4life]

Jeff Goldblum has always been so delightfully strange. I just adore him. Not enough to get a tattoo though...

[@veggiedumplinn]

Jeff Goldblum is so daddy

[@natelwood7606]

KingKirbo SO DADDY. his outfit is incredible too

[@Moi_81]

Right!

[@nikkixob7946]

Zaddy,I think you mean zaddy😂

[@TobbeC85]

Absolute legend. Such a fun and polite person

[@zacharyeskelson6229]

The Tom Ford dinner jacket one is amazing.

[@Sketch_Study]

The amount of tangents....perfect

[@Prateek500000]

you know i wont bore you with the details..well you know i was in Australia for that thor movie... anyway i had this food truck. so many tangents in one though. this man is still a treasure though

[@JoshBurcham104]

Some sort of rappers chain

[@KenzieKaddl]

Jeff Goldblum is one of the realest dudes out there, what a guy

[@MetalizedButt]

Jeff is right. #9 is absolutely amazing. Perfectly done.

[@LaLaLaAllDayLong]

This is the content the people want

[@hognigk96]

These are all Jeff's tattoos irl and he's just pretending to be surprised

[@sawdust798]

hognigk96 he has lovely thighs

[@kevinmathewson4272]

Jeff is permanently pretending to be surprised.

[@JeriBerryph]

Jeff : "This is a manly arm... maybe not" 😂😂😂 made me lol

[@Beedler]

"artistic extrapolation of my face" .....I hope every time I butcher a drawing someone critiques it this way. xD

[@Rickyralph]

Number 9 is spot on.I need that tattoo artist info

[@austenpearson]

It was done by Steve Wimmer, based out of San Diego.

[@user-pd4hl3jh6e]

send me a message on twit twit @havingafielddayandgettinghigh

[@CShivery]

2:12 "This is a manly arm. I may be wrong." It's a leg. LOL!

[@maze3086]

Oh Snap!!! the arm in the tattoo

[@ivaanwut]

He was referring to the tattoo image of his hand.

[@EatTwinkies13]

Oh Snap!!! Delete your comment 😂

[@c.james1]

How can it be about the tattoo? There is no arm in the tattoo.... only a hand. Plus the MANLY hair all over the leg, he is talking about the person not the tattoo 100%.

[@rasmusslagsvold6180]

Chris James is me leg. thanks for standen up for me

[@speakZarathustra]

I was today years old when I learned that kind of shirt was called “tattersall”, thanks Jeff Goldblum 👍

[@crystalclearUK111]

I love the way he forgets why he was in Australia, then remembers he was filming Thor

[@lancerfour]

Jeff Jeff Goldblum is my favorite Goldblum, regardless of what people say

[@arsonfly]

What about Mark Goldblum? I saw you say he was your favorite on Instagram.

[@lancerfour]

it's true, i'm a fickle Goldblumer

[@CheshireCesare]

This was so great, he gave them all 10/10 loll... 😂 Also, I swear Jeff Goldblum ages like fine wine.. 😍

[@B355Y]

Claudi' H. I had no idea Jeff is such a hit with the ladies.

[@JonnyDIY]

5:01 *#9 WOW!* Would love to to get that artists info!

[@randonceccoli8428]

He and his new show are incredible. Love when hes telling the story of the sandwich one and just brushes over that he was in Australia shooting Thor but for some reason operating a food truck?

[@TheMovieMyLife]

'What the heck is this?' When Jeff said that I couldn't help but reply out loud. 'Your face, Jeff! 😄

[@gabrieldarkr1]

TheMovieMyLife wow you are so funny....

[@claireunderwood6447]

TheMovieMyLife- I thought along the same lines.

[@cosborne06]

Is Goldblum on drugs? wtf is wrong with him?

[@unmixedunmastered2810]

TheMovieMyLife You are everywhere in the KZbin

[@saratadesse8048]

Lmaoooo

[@ninjaahjumma]

My new favourite expression is "Why'd you go and jelly yourself up like that?" 😂😂😂

[@MittyPoots]

I'm perpetually flabbergasted at how effortlessly charismatic he continues to be.

[@Rainy-In-The-Desert]

The day he dies, and the following 100yrs, will be dark days. He's such a wonderful interesting man, I wish I could interview him on anything. He's just special ❤️❤️

[@juliaehlert8127]

'go on the youtube'

[@mrpokiesmeister6525]

No 9. is absolutely brilliant

[@wheelzwheela]

Can I see a conversation between Goldblum and Christopher Walking? Just imagine it.

[@LetsGoFlyers2011]

Who's Christopher, and where would they be walking? J/K Hopefully one day there will be a scene in a movie or show that has the two of them analyzing something. Too bad no one thought of that when JG was on Law and Order.

[@georgewang2947]

Christopher "I'm Walken Here!"

[@Tar-Numendil]

Do you mean Christopher Walken?

[@devour1372]

That tattoo with the bowtie was very beautiful indeed!

[@MrSpriken]

Jeff Goldblum is the man. He really should have said is signature movie line though "must go faster"

[@meadowfrance]

I think he could talk about any subject and crack me up 😂

[@Skittles1988]

“the KZbin” - Jeff showing his age

[@mellymoko4617]

"You'll have to be a special kind of adult man if you want to show your feet in public and wear a sandal."

[@demettressw84]

He is handsome

[@rhymeswithbinda5166]

Nafrini Ali I thought I was the only one 😔

[@shahdkamel57]

Goldblum is goals

[@mylacoleman8464]

5:04 OMG this precious bean of a human!!!

[@Francois2144]

I just love this guy. One of my favorite actors in the world. I love every word that comes out of his mouth. It was so awesome to see him in Thor: Ragnarok as I'm a huge fan of the movie and Marvel Studios.

[@Taylor-jv5od]

hes just one giant dad joke.

[@mercedesheisterberg299]

Taylor but he’s the best dad joke

[@Ani0227]

"i played a detective on tv so may notice things other may not" as if playing a detective and being one is totally the same experience. lol silly goldblum. precious. i give him 10/10 goldblums

[@rileym538]

hes so in awe of all of the tattoos, even the bad ones 😭 hes so happy & flattered with all of them its so sweet

[@hakonandreasolaussen1949]

This guy is like a mix of the Joker and a that weird kid form kindergarten

[@larjkok1184]

Håkon Andreas Olaussen A weird kid form? Like a childlike thing? What?

[@captainteeko4579]

So Sheldon cooper?

[@starwarsroo2448]

And Ian Malcolm

[@michaeljames8329]

I had a boss once, that met Jeff Goldblum at a sci-fi convention - said he was the nicest guy ever, accommodating & very friendly!

[@stephaniehensley346]

This is hilarious 😂 I couldn’t possibly love Jeff Goodblum more than I already do. I could watch him do anything.

[@ryder389]

“The color of skin like a freshly peeled apple-very, very beautiful” ~~Jeff Goldblum 2k17

[@ekho5712]

Sorry, I was just imagining 10 Jeff Goldblums. #Smitten