Annoying things people say to Asexuals

[@JelliesWorld]

Pride month sale starts now!! jelliesworld.etsy.com

[@Cornstarchrr]

I was talking about being ace to my brother, and now I get this in my reccomendations; youtube is recording me I swear

[@Whyareweherejed]

@@Cornstarchrr Same! Last night I was talking to my mom about how I was gonna be Chara for Halloween, and 3 minutes later Amazon is recommending me a retractable knife.

[@aim0404]

My mom when I was 16: "you will when your older" Me at 19: nope, still ace Me when I'm a 75 year old virgin: nope, still ace

[@peril746]

omg thats exactly how i am lol

[@SkyeID]

me at 47: still ace

[@saix_unicorn]

omg lol, when i was 14 i was like "ew, sex is disgusting" and everyone was like "wait until you're older!" and 5 years later, i know i'm asexual sex-repulsed lol

[@peril746]

@@saix_unicorn i’m sex-repulsed too! i’ve never actually met anyone else who is, though, so this is cool :D

[@saix_unicorn]

@@peril746 omg yes! :D friend!

[@angelic_writer]

Another annoying thing is, "When you do it, you won't be asexual anymore." Try saying that to a bi man and a bi woman together and ask them if they're still straight.

[@ShinTriAce]

Ah, but bisexuality doesn´t exist either, they're just confused about their sexuality./s

[@Ammy-q4w]

@@ShinTriAce I think the only one confused about sexuality here is you.

[@donutswithlotsofsugar]

@@ShinTriAcehuh????

[@kami_duuuh]

/s means sarcastic btw ​@@donutswithlotsofsugar. So they was just using sarcasm.

[@VinVin_31]

@@donutswithlotsofsugar Bimbo

[@ZeeZeeWee]

it's so fucking funny that some people think a grown ass adult is going through a "phase" and that they can't make decisions for themselves

[@schlamuffenimperator9460]

- "I'm gay." - People: "It is a sin! You must stay in celibate and never have sex. But you can live your life to the fullest without it, because you have family and friends." - "I'm Ace." - People: "NOOO! You must have sex! You have no life without sex. You'll die unhappy and alone."

[@alliekat1431]

Yep… that’s about right 😔

[@wafolfackermeme4624]

Another thing I hate that people tell me is “im so sorry that your missing out” it vexes me so😭

[@mikeval1525]

Asexual is a weird concept to most people, so to them they think you are missing out when you aren’t.

[@mazhermehdi8793]

Those same ppl would be crying about their ex like 5 times a day

[@ikaniitoshi]

I hope no one ever says that shit to me

[@monochromeink.]

literally my ex (⁠눈⁠‸⁠눈⁠)

[@Saratheartist]

Missing out what? Pregnancy? No thanks

[@D_Artella]

I laughed at the part when you said you're a hypersexual asexual. I'm like "Bro, you get me." 😂

[@AlexKurtizzz]

Ima be honest as an ace dude I didn’t even know that existed (I thought that like COMPLETELY contradicted what ace meant) like until watching this I thought ace people couldn’t be very sexual because that’s how I am (and my friends who are also ace are) but it’s cool to know that asexuality isn’t as black and white as I thought it was.

[@Silver_Coyote]

I'm confused about that part. How can you be ace and hypersexual? /gen

[@Scarlet_sketches]

@@Silver_Coyote So, like, I'm not ace, so I might not be entirely right, but, You can be both. Asexuality is just the lack of sexual attraction towards others. You can still get in the mood and do the self deed. I'm no good at explaining so if this doesn't help much, I suggest doing research.

[@wombat4583]

@@Silver_Coyote It's usually libido instead of attraction. You don't need attraction to have sex or have sexual urges. Comparatively, people have had sex with people they aren't attracted to because they wanna do it with a person, or people have sex with others to try and conform like someone gay having straight sex in a straight relationship trying to fit in. Similar idea in that there's no one is a target of attraction (except maybe some greys and demis) but can still have physical urges. You can also think of it like being hungry but nothing looks/sounds good in which case you might ignore it for a while or eat something anyway because the hunger isn't going away and the food won't become more appealing.

[@Silver_Coyote]

​@@Scarlet_sketches ahhhhh, tysm!

[@Em_1101]

from one asexual to the other, you did it!!!!!!

[@fusehoundow]

So true

[@Hi-js6kz]

🖤🩶🤍💜

[@LunaRaiden204]

I agree

[@Lilystarcrow]

You did it!

[@Ace-Aaro-Queen]

After watching this video, I what garlic bread.

[@GreenGuyGeno]

Mom and Dad: "Soon you'll have a family of your own." Me: My bloodline ends with me. My brothers got this.

[@neff6185]

so glad my parents have multiple siblings with kids, that way when them or my grandparents ask I can just say “[insert cousin] can do it for you :)” who cares about bloodlines anyways, you’re here enjoy that.

[@Talmorne]

lol same, at this rate out of my siblings and I it'll only be my brother carrying on the family lineage XD

[@shroombloomgloom]

same here. except i dont have any siblings lol. no more bloodline 😈😈😈

[@SillyDizzyIzzy]

Real You got two other 2 kids who can can give you grandsons.

[@KiraJ-ru7ll]

The only reason I hate being an only child.

[@XBlue_BunnyX]

being ace means you can still feel „corny…“ we just dont wanna do it w/ another person like reading BL or doing a solo

[@Kayta-Linda]

Yeah. I like reading, but any visual stuff is automatically gross unless I make an effort to enter the “academic interest” mode. I don’t even want to *think* about actually doing anything of the sort, that’s just.. ugh. And yet, I very much enjoy reading. It’s weird.

[@GensChilledCola]

@@Kayta-Linda i feel that, I'm ok when I'm reading a story and the couple gets touchy or flirty, but when they go at it? ehh idk not a big fan

[@ayomichanisapalestinesuppo8729]

@@GensChilledCola ​​⁠​⁠ the chills!!! It’s as if you're talking about me and describing how I feel. I completely and utterly lose interest in the story if the main couple even so much as kiss unless there is something going on that compels me to read further, which is mostly not the case.

[@Kayta-Linda]

@@GensChilledCola Oh, no, that's not what I said. I actually read the whole of it. I am perfectly fine with it as a story. Sometimes I specifically search for it, if the.. theme I'm interested in is written well enough. I have favourites that I reread a lot, too. What I'm saying is that I am perfectly fine with written stuff. But I do not like pictures, videos or, god forbid, actual real life stuff. Like I said, *visual.* But if it's written, I can, in fact, enjoy it. As long as it's good enough for my tastes. Otherwise, or if the scene is too long, I actually get bored of it and start skimming it to get back to the story :D..

[@GensChilledCola]

@@Kayta-Linda oh ok! yea i get that

[@jesterdays]

The medicalisation is crazy. My mother spent more money than it's worth just to try to prove that something was wrong with me, only for it to come out that I was actually healthy and normal. I will never let her live that down.

[@zetafish7347]

I will never understand the people who don't see us as fellow lgbt+ members. Like were clearly not straight and zero is still a number. A lack of something is still in and of itself a something, yet these people think being ace makes us nothing at all.

[@cloudyskyz2237]

Wym ace people are “clearly not straight”? You can still have romantic attraction even if you have little sexual attraction. So…of course you can be heteroromantic asexual, romantic attraction to the opposite gender, but no sexual attraction.

[@Tired_Rose_Garden24]

I'm sick and tired of being excluded from my own community

[@BisexualBean49]

They also do the same shit with us bisexuals and I'm sick of it 😭 like they talk about talking the B outta the community and I'm just like this is why we need to be here bc yall are oppressing people in the community 💀

[@mackenziebauknecht5111]

In my experience being a young asexual, my stepdad calls me immature and says that when I mature, it will go away. Honestly that is easily the worst thing you can say to me

[@mason9721]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, I hope that your situation gets better and your stepdad becomes more understanding ♥️

[@Tired_Rose_Garden24]

When I told my dad I don't ever want kids or a romantic or sexual partner he called it a phase and I'm seriously debating on whether or not to come out to him as Aromantic Asexual

[@mackenziebauknecht5111]

@@Tired_Rose_Garden24 That’s honestly a tough decision. Honestly, if he respects your identity, that’s great! If he doesn’t, cut contact. People who don’t respect you for who you are, usually don’t truly care. I wish you good luck and I hope he does respect you.

[@legalmel]

i have no idea where this idea comes from that "you have to be romantically/sexually intimate with a special person to be happy." there are SO MANY PEOPLE- including many people who aren't aro or ace- who are living happy lives without any of that

[@michaelgum97]

​@@mackenziebauknecht5111 Calling it a phase already means that he doesn't respect it.

[@pixelsbykris5494]

As someone who could also be considered a hypersexual asexual it’s always nice seeing others admit to it. Makes me feel less alone because even among the people in the LGBTQ+ community who accept us aces a lot of them think you need to actively be sex repulsed or something. But when you’re someone like me who’s thinking about it almost constantly but adamantly NOT wanting to actually have sex it can be a struggle to feel like I’m actually ace and not just a weird flavour of pansexual of something. So as silly as you admitting to be hypersexual making me happy may sound, the validation still feels real. So thank you for that!

[@phrei9]

Hypersexual ace but I hate it… (cbeing hypersexual, not an ace)

[@Phoenix.Sparkles]

Try making out with a frying pan, then you'll know for sure

[@F_NerdShark]

Same!! ^w^ I’ve been hypersexual my whole life, but then I got into high school and started realising that I’m actually aegosexual and am VERY PICKY, and most of the things I like are fictional anyways. Because I’m not repulsed by sex and actually find it kind of comforting in a more emotional, non lustful way, I often feel nervous about identifying as asexual because I’m afraid I’ll be seen as a fraud or something lol

[@pixelsbykris5494]

@F_NerdShark Hello fellow aegosexual! I'm the exact same way when it comes to worrying that I'm "not really asexual" because of my hypersexuality. In fact, for the longest time I didn't even realize I even was on the asexual spectrum until it hit me that the only times I ever felt any sort of real arousal was with fictional characters and distinctly NOT interested in fantasizing about them with myself. Each other, sure, but me? Nah fam, it's good. Even now it's tough admitting that I'm on the asexual spectrum but finding people who accept me for me has been a godsend for sure. haha

[@Althedemonking1076]

I love it, myself, I just accept myself for who I am, so just because my thoughts are thoughts doesn't mean much, it's not that I hate the idea of having sex, it's that I don't care, it's not a good or bad thing to me, it's just something, like kissing or hugging, I'm not necessarily opposed to it, I just don't care to want it actively

[@TheMothman666]

I constantly get asked "Isn't it so boring though?" When I say I'm Asexual, and don't enjoy sex. That one will make me irritated for the rest of eternity.

[@dyingofdioxide]

you should ask them back "isn't it so tiring to have sex all the time?"

[@aiiiia9971]

Lol, if sex is the only thing interesting in your life, you need a hobby. There is so much to enjoy beyond sex that's just as "fun" and even more fun for us! It's a big world

[@lampekartoffel]

5:48 I remember once seeing a post from a lesbian where their sister told them they "just hadn't met the right man yet" and that was why they weren't attracted to men. Their response? Asked the sister if they were attracted to llamas, then proceeded to tell them they just hadn't "met the right llama yet" and began sending pictures of llamas to the sister. I think sending pictures unprompted and not just whenever the sister starts up on their crap, is a bit too much. But otherwise, it's a great way to both get the point across and get the "wtf factor" so they'll remember the lesson - now, whether the person you do this to will be receptive to this method or not is a whole nother case as I can definitely see someone say it's not the same since a llama isn't a human. But if that's the case, you can use whichever gender or type of human they aren't attracted to, to get the point across.

[@neff6185]

love this

[@DevilSpade]

i think people forget its not about not liking sex but not wanting it

[@Ammy-q4w]

It's technically both. Not liking sex and not wanting it tie together.

[@foxpro3002]

its more "i don't feel sexual attraction" than anything else.

[@SemekiIzuio]

Both right i feel digusted by it and don't want it but that doesn't mean it bothers me reading about or watching it, I just dont feel the lust to want it for myself

[@DevilSpade]

@@Ammy-q4w it is a spectrum, me personally I'm not sex repulsed but I still don't want to do it with anyone

[@Funny-NuMbE7]

@@SemekiIzuiosame

[@soramafuforlife7247]

"You haven't found the right person" is a sentiment even I can relate to as a non ace person. Never dated someone and theres always an annoying friend that is in love with their partner unable to understand why ive been single for life will tell me this exact line! Ive heard it so long im so tired of it, ace people, all people know themselves just fine about what they want in their life (relationship or no relationship)

[@Cage-CatYT]

I remember reading a lot of "it's not a real [romantic] relationship if there isn't sexual attraction!" From others and, as a sex repulsed/averse ace-spec girlie, it's always rubbed me the wrong way, cause me and my partner are happy together just being romantically attracted to one another 😭

[@Chigger]

My parents have the same viewpoint, and I'm also an alloromantic ace. They don't try to accept my ace perspective, let alone the split attraction.

[@thegamingbear4307]

Ive tried to explain to my dad once about asexuality, without saying the word, and he was like. Huh, weird. And moved on. He loves and accepts me for anything, and im lucky to have him as a dad. Even if he can't understand it entirely, he still respects it.

[@Seami-bz6bt]

Genuinely wonder why someone would think we're hopping on a trend when people are out there mistaking the A in LGBTQIA for ally 💀

[@JUST4SHYGUY]

Quick question: What does it all stand for? I assume A is for asexual and i know lgb(lesbian, gay, bi) So what does the rest mean? Edit:Bisexual btw no hate, im just uninformed

[@Seami-bz6bt]

@@JUST4SHYGUY The T is for transgender, the Q is for queer and the I is for intersex. The A can also mean aromantic and agender. I think there are also more letters but I don't remember them all right now. They are all represented by the + tho

[@Seami-bz6bt]

And don't worry you didn't come off as rude. I was uninformed until very recently too and curiosity is always welcome

[@geekchic8798]

I'm demisexual and if someone tries to flirt with me, I either miss it by a mile or my brain goes error 404 and I turn into a blubbering mess.

[@CandyThePuppy]

My mom has said/asked literally everything on this list to me.... for years. 💀 She still refuses to believe I might be Asexual since apparently she "felt similarly" too. Girl, you was kissin' the neighborhood boys in elementary school, got married at 21 (healthy relationship btw), and had five kids because you wanted em! Meanwhile, I'm 21 and have never had a boyfriend before.. by _choice_ btw! The ONLY kiss on the lips I ever had was when my grandma kissed me at age five! I never wanted to be kissed on the lips before or since!

[@moi8632]

as an aromantic the most annoying thing ever is when people say "oh you just haven't found the right one yet" :/

[@SHr00mS0m3]

I remember when I was in middle school, I questioned if I was Ace for a bit but immediately shut myself down with "you haven't met the right person yet" and "it's just a phase" type thoughts because of how mentally ingrained my homophobic parents' beliefs were in my brain. 2 years later and I'm a proud biromantic aceflux!

[@Fr00glet]

Asexuals! Tonight... we steal... DENMAAARKK!!!

[@AddiTheGrea]

CHARGEEEEE!!!!

[@factperson179]

Aww I missed it. Can we get a second night of the invasion please?

[@emmalynisstupidin]

​@@factperson179don't worry we regularly do it every other Tuesday.

[@monoduck]

Uh we need a schedule. Let's get out the dragon themed calendars!

[@Fr00glet]

@@monoduck plan accepted, I upgrade you to lieutenant

[@polarbear13092]

YOU DID ITTT yeahhh as an aroace tbh everyone is too focused on putting labels to their sexual orientation than actually respecting everyones sexuality 🤦 and that's why I don't say my labels to anyone 😅

[@motherwar3698]

YOU DID IT LETS GOOOOOO Also friendly reminder that even if your channels talks alot about lgbtq stuff, you're free to not educate people any time you want :3 happy pride month Josh!

[@labladylolo]

Happy Pride~!! And as an aroace I appreciate your honesty about also being hyper sexual lol I think a lot do ppl confuse sexual attraction with libido Edit: you did it~!!

[@Animesther]

the right answer to "so sorry you're missing out" is "I'm so sorry you have to experience the drama of getting a partner (optional add: through dating apps)"

[@SkyeID]

"if it's something I KNOW I don't want, then how am I 'missing out'?"

[@2Navalie]

@@SkyeID thats actaully real

[@lucymaycry7218]

I'm loving the sass. Mad respect for pointing out hypocrasy and stupidity in what's sadly the everyday person for a lot of ya'll

[@RavenWoodsDE]

Wouldn't even want to be part of a community that is so high and mighty they decide which flavors of "weirdness" qualify for their elite club.

[@animalobsessed1]

"You just haven't met the right person yet" doesn't even make sense for them to say, because I'm pretty sure that's NOT how it went for them. How many people actually end up dating - much less having a LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP - with the first crush they ever had (often as a preteen)? Not many. They didn't need to meet "the right person" to get crushes on people, so why would we?

[@animalobsessed1]

Also, my dad is convinced that I'm asexual due to the trauma of... being born. Being born via c-section a few weeks early, was obviously so traumatic that I've just never gained the confidence to dare have sex with anyone. Ignore the fact that I literally HAVE had sex, which is why I know I don't like it. (ANd then they start with "oh, well maybe the person you had sex with was just bad at it, and you need to try it with someone else..." Like, no. Just shut up. I don't go around telling straight people to have gay sex because "maybe they'll like it." Actually, I did do that once, in response to someone saying that to me. That successfully ended the questioning.)

[@BLACKNOODLE864]

"you just haven't tried the right opiates yet. try some black tar heroin and you'll change your mind about the drugs :)" there is no tangible difference between asexuality denial and the above statement

[@awl5451]

What even is the right person lol I wonder whether they have experienced it themselves or just blindly believe it'll happen 😂 Maybe it will but like, man, not everyone even needs that sorta thing Also wow that trauma of being born via c-section conspiracy is rly wild 🤨 wonder how he came up with that one Also as an aroace with high libido who had sex a few times with a partner who did have experience i can say(for me at least) that without sexual nor romantic attraction it's just like doing it on your own but worse cause the other person doesn't know what your body needs and what is an instant turn offl and what just unnecessarily distracts you Cause i assume sexual attraction is supposed to contribute to reaching the goal if sex happens with a person you're attracted to in that way? But i as an aroace i can only speculate lol But anyway that makes those kinda arguments annoying, especially cause like, do they not have their own life to worry about???

[@yame4467]

GOD THIS IS SO TRUE! I am in the aroace spectrum and by that I mean no sexual attraction (a bit repulsed actually) and just a bit of romantic attraction. I haven't told my irl friends about it since they actively mock people in the aromantic and asexual spectrums saying 'they just want to feel especial' or what my parents say which is literally everything you mentioned in the video. It seems like people don't understand the idea of not feeling attracted to people, which is wild to me.

[@hvideulv2617]

Sometimes, you world change and life, friends, family relations and stuff. And then there's stuff like these videoes that stay a stable in your life, and you see, oh Jellie has posted another video every few months, it shows up in your recommened videos. And you go watch it, and it's still the same good vibes. And honestly it's really nice with having something like this pop up and comfort you in random times.

[@suyitecno]

Yeah, it's nice :)

[@partybugz]

im a young aroace, and this is so relatable lol. i've stayed in the "im in puberty, and since in puberty is the sexual peak and i still dont feel it, i dont care abt it." line for a bit long, but this helps so much in understanding some questions people make me

[@MoistCrumpet]

I’m asexual and aromantic, and one thing some people love to tell me is “You’re awesome! Why are you still single?”

[@miraculous_lady_noir2179]

I'm closeted demi and my dad is seriously aphobic. He thinks it's a medical problem, or that we're lying, and that it's not possible to not experience sexual attraction and we're just repressed or picky, and that we're messing up kids' development by making them think they're ace and conditioning them to repress themselves and want sex less and have messed up sex lives. It's insane 😭

[@aiiiia9971]

Bruhhh 💀

[@neff6185]

Someone once described being ace with a high sex drive to me as being ravenously hungry at a table full of food but none of it looks edible to you. I’ve never heard it put better in my life 😭🙏

[@foxpro3002]

when i tell people i don't want to have sex they tell me i won't have a choice then wonder why i'm afraid of being in a romantic relationship.😭😭😭

[@hearmeout1767]

This is painfully relatable, society practically tries to force it on everyone with that whole "sx is a need" mindset

[@skylafoxgirlForever]

But seriously people always try to act like we don't exist or think that there's something wrong with us and or think that it's inhuman not to have these specific thoughts and feelings. Everyone in the LGBT community feels accepted So Why Can't We?! Also you did it!!!👏👏👏👏👏

[@AnonymousCheshire]

Story of my life ohmygoooddd I'm also a hypersexual ace, and have sex with my partners - because it's fun, they feel good, and I can feel good! I have a VERY different experience than my allosexual partners during sex however - and that's fine! But the amount of invalidation I get from it ohmygod "It's cruel to your partners!" "Well if you have sex you're not REALLY ace" Or they ignore me completely and just apologise directly to my partners. URGH

[@SkyeID]

people don't believe that sexual attraction and sexual behavior are two different things.

[@Noen-999]

Within the ace spectrum, there is a term that describes me perfectly, autochorissexuality, "A sexual orientation characterized by a disconnect between the self and sexual arousal or fantasies, e.g. having sexual fantasies that do not involve oneself, or experiencing arousal without an active desire for partnered sexual activity." I was surprised to find out that there is a term that describes me so perfectly. Since this term is so specific, I just say ace when people ask.

[@evarinagarmguardian113]

Same! But I use the alternate term aegosexuality. It means the exact same thing, but without it being a mouthful lol! Plus, you can make aego waffle puns!

[@Hazelliliies]

I've had to explain it to ppl before and it gets kind of awkward. They're like "But how does love exist without [the thing]!?" and I have to explain the whole thing. Like, I can be bi and ace too??? I realized I was ace when I was fourteen, happiest realization of my life, especially bc I had this dread for having that kind of attraction ever since I learned about it. That's probably one of the only reasons I didn't want to grow up. Looking back, it was pretty obvious I was ace lol I'm the kind of ace that's genuinely repulsed by the idea of... the thing... and don't feel any attraction of that kind AT ALL. Only romantic attraction for me, thank you very much.

[@Taylie]

I also found out when I was around 14, and repulsed as well! I once actually saw a comment somewhere saying "you can't have love without *that*." If that's the case, I REALLY hope that person doesn't have any parents, siblings, or pets...

[@Hazelliliies]

@@Taylie ghgjggfjfgj I might steal the parents, siblings, pets thing next time someone says that to me lol I want to see their reaction. My dad said something similar to that and said without *it* it's just a friendship, but eventually he let me explain and started to understand.

[@hearmeout1767]

I also dreaded the idea of that attraction suddenly happening to me lol, although I think I've gotten to an age where, considering it didn't happen yet it's pretty obvious it won't ever happen 😃

[@Creatura_TheAnarchist]

Something I'd like to add on the whole "Is it because of trauma" thing. Even if I did suffer through that shit, so what? Hm? You're the asshole currently reminding me of it and what, just because you're saying this, suddenly my trauma is healed and gone? Congrats, Dr. Therapist Stranger, you cured me of my trauma, I'm still ace, can I go now?

[@Mithical_C]

As someone that is asexual, my DAD, who is 50, intoduced me to the term. It aint a trend if it was already there 35 years ago (most likely even earlier) bae.

[@maomia9620]

after a looong relashionship (6 years) we broke up, after that you can't imagine how many boys say to me "maybe he wasn't good in bed, come with me and you will chance opinion" because yes, if i, after a long relashion, understand more myself and how i feel about sex it's just a problem, because there is something "wrong" with me. You can't just have different needs, you are just wrong for the others. I will never understand why people, if you like or not like something, feel the responsability to change your mind about it because their opinion is "correct"

[@Whyareweherejed]

People would say I'm not LGBTQIA until I told them I'm bisexual as well. wtf.

[@USSRDragon]

My no thought response to the sex question/to try it is “no its gross”. The longer response is “I hate touching things other people touch, I dislike being accidentally touched, I hate being intentionally touched, everything about physical intimacy is nails on chalkboard levels of horrible, why would I intentionally ‘try’ it?”

[@arceusinsanity301]

We're also pitted against each other on if we are open to activities or not, while this does mainly come from outside pressures it still happens

[@hearmeout1767]

That's how the asexuality subreddit got ruined lol, it used to be chill but then it started to devolve into a lot of the sx positive and sx repulsed aces suddenly hating and complaining about the other's existence. Although maybe it isn't like that anymore cuz I haven't been back in a while

[@Danap-mykaykat]

People don’t understand the struggle of keeping up appearances to mask being ace around allos, especially in my younger years before I knew what asexuality was. I had to pretend to have a crush, pretend to ogle body parts, pretend to want to kiss boys. Imagine if you’re gay that masking you had to do to straight people, but to everyone because if you don’t feel sexual attraction then you’re just “weird” and !wrong”. The social anxiety that already came with my autism was too much, so I would always pick random “crushes” when talking with my friends as they swooned over boys. I’m more inclined to ambiguous and feminine presenting individuals, but that’s just because of familiarity. I’ve still had to pretend to be interested in girls and theys when I used to call myself Pansexual (pan-romantic asexual now)which is when it finally clicked as I got older what I actually was. ✨ I’m ace, and that’s outta space ✨

[@alltheworldatmyfeet]

Omg, yes the pretending! Idk if I'm neuro divergent but I wanted to be normal so badly around my friends I would go along with whoever they thought was sexy. I also made up crushes and tried to convince myself i loved them because I found them pretty but then if they ever talked to me I'd get ice cold in my stomach and spine and wanna run away from them. It definitely helped me get into my "I'm not like other girls" phase bc I wasn't love crazy.

[@thenamesilkmoon1366]

What's an allos?

[@kiku-goldenflower7731]

The annoying thing about the past trauma question is that, as a woman, the odds were never in my favour. The shear number of women who've been sexualy harassed or assaulted means that alot of ace folks will have trauma, making it all to easy for folks with a confirmation bias to connect the two when there is no statistical difference.

[@CerozHeroz]

Honestly when someone says to me "How can you know you don't like 'the deed' if you've never tried it?" I usually tend to just hit them with "How can you know you won't want to eat a food if you haven't tried it yet?". They're usually quite silent after that.

[@unlikelygamer]

Ace represent! 🖤🩶🤍💜

[@acedreamer2004]

Ace represent

[@Endrgamr262]

Why can’t people just mentally comprehend that some people are physically incapable of feeling sexual attracted to anyone it’s not that hard to understand

[@JaydenWilliams-lf4pp]

Not everyone needs to be in a relationship to be happy people can bring their own happiness

[@013.zlengy]

I’m an asexual lesbian , I would love a relationship in the future except I wouldn’t want to have a sexual relationship and a relationship in general I have mixed feelings about. I love making characters have relationships though

[@_kaazukado]

aside from being acephobic, “if you haven’t tried it, how will you know that you don’t like it?” is just such an annoying question in general used to shut up anybody who doesn’t want to do something others want them to. it’s a good philosophy to have for yourself, but it’s when people start pressuring you with it that the problem arises. i know what i like and what i don’t like. no means no; stop pestering me

[@hearmeout1767]

It's like they never learned about consent

[@christimorgret7818]

The benefit of not realizing you're ace until age 53 is not having to explain to anyone (including yourself.) I did a lot of "later! I'm busy!" handwaving.

[@unlikelygamer]

Also, another ace who likes BL! Can we be bffs?

[@skylafoxgirlForever]

OMG you too?!

[@Aniware]

yooo here's another one

[@vincentnightray750]

hello my people

[@doorstopperizsilly]

Me too :D

[@davanchiii]

I'm here too❤ I'm aroace tho 😊

[@TeasilaNova]

the trauma argument is hella rude even if a person had gone threw something awful that doesn't invalidate their orientation.

[@lolidva3807]

I strongly agree

[@desvile_]

never had "romantic and/or sexual relationships" cross my mind at all when i was a kid, like i knew it exist, but i thought it was.... fictional.... because i never had crushes...... i thought it was a myth or something....

[@Midnight74751]

I remember once trying to tell my dad I was asexual, and he flat out told me, "Uhh, no, nonsense, everyone does the deed at least once in the life." :/

[@oddly_icarus]

This was one of the shortest YET most spot-on videos about Asexuality I've seen! Also, hilarious video/editing as always :)

[@deskolive]

as a fellow ace i can confirm *sighs pitifully at those people*

[@Luna_17946]

Or being told “I can fix you” that is such a pet peeve of mine, I’m not just ace, but I’m aro too, and explaining is so hard sometimes but I gotta all the time 😭

[@ToriQu.]

Gosh I NEEDED THIS I HATE PEOPLE WHO SAY "Oh you need someone in your life! You'll be so lonely!" I NEVER SAID I DIDN'T WANT SOMEONE I JUST DON'T HAVE SEXUAL ATTRACTIONNNN-

[@monoduck]

A thing I hate that isn't really about being ace but relates to it is "well just because X character is canonically ace and/or aro doesn't mean they don't have sex/romantic relationships!!!!" It's so annoying to have like 4 characters that are canonically ace or aro, and people basically ignore it just for shipping purposes. It gives me the same vibe as a female character canonically being into women specifically, and people still shipping her with men because "they don't explicitly show her not liking men!" Like geez. Just leave the small, *small* rep we get alone! This is a rant, but it's just so exhausting to deal with in Fandom spaces >:[

[@monoduck]

Like yeah, some ace people have sex but you can't use it as a get out of jail free card every time someone doesn't agree with you about it

[@melasnexperience]

Yep. They took that tiny big of info and used it as a wholesale eraser. It's one of many reasons I just don't bother with fandom anymore.

[@aiiiia9971]

Oof yeah I felt this. Like sure you are *technically* right, not all ace people refuse to have sex at all costs. But it's just the broader context of the situation make it feel like these kinds of fans are deliberately burying the characters identity because they just don't like it or can't handle it.

[@monoduck]

Yes I'm talking about that hazbin hotel guy specifically

[@khaliyahjefferson832]

I literally saw basically corn on here with Lilith and Eda from TOH getting Massages in a comic dub with AI voices

[@BurriLuvsHistory]

I identify as Ace & Aromantic and people keep saying "It's just a phase" or "you're too young"

[@hearmeout1767]

Even if it is just a phase, these labels are still relevant and accurate to describe who you are right now. If they stop being accurate in the future you could simply stop using them. But for now they do describe who you are and they might describe you forever and they might not but either way, it's okay. :)

[@nellywabash6014]

My family has often told me “oh, but you’ll change your mind in the future.” Not like oh, you might, no “you will.” ?! Like, this is my life and they can’t decide what I will and won’t like or do in the future.

[@meglawv6150]

I am areoace because of trauma but I still have problems with all the other questions. Like “you haven’t met the right person” the last person I met ruined my experience with it!

[@tiredgacha_artist]

As an asexual who has trauma, i have to explain right after i say its partly trauma, is that i found out AFTER the trauma, not that i turned asexual FROM the trauma. Even if its trauma based someone is ace, it doesnt mean anything. They change their sexuality when they want, no one can choose or change the mind of someone else.

[@TwelveNotes87]

First of all as an asexual my self SO relatable. I had an experience one time where I told someone I was ace and they were all " you can't just say no" and I was all watch me!.

[@hearmeout1767]

That's actually super weird and predatory for them to say 💀

[@Music_studios26]

@@hearmeout1767 fr like you can't force someone to have sex either 💀

[@LemonQueenTM]

I hate when people think you “don’t know it if you haven’t tried it” AND ALSO think that “if you’ve ever tried it, you can’t be ace.” LIKE, WOULD YOU SAY THIS ABOUT TRYING *FOOD!?*

[@Cr3Ek_l0v3R]

I'm not ace, but I'm watching this so I don't end up saying shit that's gonna upset an ace person. I already know the "You just haven't tried yet"

[@sleepymoron]

"You just haven't meant the right person yet" "You haven't tried it yet. you don't know if you'll like it" I'm internally screaming

[@animestuck4213]

You did it, fellow ace!

[@legalmel]

I've always just been confused as to why so many people feel distateful towards asexuality, aromanticism, and polyamory, when they never question why they believe monogomy is "right" in the first place. It's really just "I'm right and you're wrong because we say so."

[@EdensStar]

0:04 best opening line

[@arcious60]

"You just havent met the right person yet" It's annoying... I hear it too much

[@LunaEclipse-cy6ue]

Can relate my Mom says you just haven’t found the right person yet every time and it annoys me to no end.

[@That0neBr1tishRat]

thank you so much for explaining this to people: being asexual and having a low libido/sex drive are different things, someone can be asexual and still feel a desire to have sex, just not specifically with a person, similarly, people may be sexually attracted to someone, but that doesn't necessarily mean they always want to have sex with them.

[@seraphsstorycrew2598]

My parents have given me all of this except the "it's just a trend" and "it's just a phase" (however my mom did tell me that when i told her i wanted to be an animator. Several years later i still do wanna be someday.)

[@Reggie_DTI]

Honestly ever time I hear asexual I think of people who just there like standing there menacingly looking me straight into the eyes and says “brother…..I don’t feel anything.”

[@TheGovernorsJester]

As an Ace I'm often told, "that's a lonely way to live life". No, I just value other parts of a relationship more, like companionship, trust, love, respect. I think relationships looks different from couple to couple. Sex isn't the center of every relationship and I feel like some people needs to understand that a little better.

[@kevinbishoff1903]

3:50. As someone who is 52 and ace, I can tell you they keep asking stupid questions.

[@magpiesoddities]

Damn I've heard every single one of those😅 Sadly, by an equal amount of people that are in the queer community as are against the community. Wild.

[@lucid3773]

Personally I’ve had success with “Think of someone you did find hot. Not hate, they’re fine as a person, but you just don’t find John Doe hot. That’s how I feel about everyone, they’re not ugly, they’re just _not hot_ shrug “ Though that doesn’t stop people from saying annoying things like “Still I hope you find someone”

[@fandomfreak139]

The only thing that made me realize I was ace (and possibly aro, tbh) was finding a video talking about the different pride flags posted for pride month. Then I found another video actually talking about the various forms of asexuality from the same channel. It was eye opening, like "oh, it's not that I haven't found someone that makes me feel this way that everyone else does, I LITERALLY don't feel that kind of connection." 4 years of happily being out as ace!

[@CaptainUnikitty]

This video speaks to me 😂 But I hated being cat called (by people YOUNGER than me too in high school) then my brother talking about all this ick about some being in a relationship (like they go too far and experience “it”) and I’m like why. I am scared to say I’m asexual, I only have told it to online friends and close friends outside.

[@Lovely-love-]

You did it, we have time to shop for the sale! Breathe, you did great dear!

[@ivanbraginsky2896]

A couple of days ago it suddenly turned out that my friend group (which I call family) is all on acespec... With one person being aroace, the other being ace and with me being demisexual. It feels so nice to be with people who understand you, instead of being told, idk, "oh but everyone's like that, everyone needs a bit of a connection first". Well I've never had any celebrity crushes and it makes people baffled, so I guess not everyone is like that...

[@MonicaTheWerewolf]

"Please don't Jump off a Cliff I love you the World needs you Mwa." 😭😭

[@anuamir2107]

Had an ex who was FULLY AWARE I was Ace. About 2 months into the relationship, they tried to get physical and I told them no. Their defense was, "I have needs too" Um, so do I? Food, water sleep. Sex is just a luxury and a way to reproduce. Neither of which I want! He got upset and broke up with me.

[@hearmeout1767]

It seems like the "sx is a need" people are the same people who don't value consent, it's terrible that happened to you 😔

[@TheGreenAuthor1231]

In college, i met a girl who's lesbian and have a girlfriend , and when i told them that i'm aroace , she was okay and even was pround of me 😊 My art class was so nice 👍

[@kamishin7135]

I'm not even Ace (I think), but I still get comments like "you're gonna find the right one" or "you just didn't meet the right one yet" and its annoying. If I end up in a relationship in the future, fine, but it comes when it comes and if not then not

[@MurderDroneKat]

I feel bad for you as I understand what it feels like as I’m actually aromantic and had to deal with a few comments like this. I mean, I very much not asexual but I feel the struggles by being aromantic. My mum would often say that ‘I have not found the right person yet’ and I know she isn’t meaning this in a bad way since that isn’t how she is as I understand since she’s like in her mid 50’s while I’m younger than 20 so naturally I am the one somewhat explaining the LGBTQ+ community. Though being aromantic and being typically older than some people can have its advantages as one time a boy a couple years younger than me tried to get me to be his girlfriend (probably due to a dare or something as this sort of thing has happened to me so many gosh darn times), I of course politely declined as I didn’t know him and had said to him “I don’t think it’s legal as I feel like I’m definitely over 24 months older than you”. Luckily the boy politely left (probably in slight surprise) and in turn made me eternally grateful for knowing laws as it made the situation more funnier for me in my mind afterwards. (Extra info, I looked a few years younger than what I actually was and having a short size as I’m just barely below 5ft 2’’ tall doesn’t help at all.)

[@lolipka]

I never questioned people who are asexual. When I heard the term the first time, I understood it at once. Well, I come from a catholic household, so maybe it wasn't that weird to me for someone to be celibate/not be attracted to anyone. Btw my best friend is ace and I think she's the coolest.

[@shadeypipxd6677]

I feel bad for y’all because even when characters are represented as ace in shows people just don’t care and will paint them in a light that is just out of character for them, an example of this would be like rule 34 art or just ignoring their identity in general. I personally don’t focus on it much but for others it can be degrading as they really like the character in question, for all the aces out there I hope you get the representation you deserve if not already found. We need more ace appreciation in our community and I hope they get it, because they deserve it ❤

[@hearmeout1767]

Thank you, you're awesome

[@MysteryCorgi_VN]

Great video, ace solidarity~! As a kid, I deeply considered being a nun since the expectation of marriage + having kids was so stifling. Turns out I dodged a bullet, since the horrors of the clergy isn't limited to just priests. 😬 (Also going to parochial school for 13 years turned me into an atheist, but that's a whole different topic.) Also, you never see the same "it must be trauma" people acknowledge or respect people who experience hypersexuality after SA. They just won't consider anything outside of their preconceived notions.

[@hearmeout1767]

I used to want to get married without doing the deed but I was told that this is not possible