Jennie Allen on Untangling Your Emotions and Leading When You Feel Numb

Jennie Allen talks deeply about recovering from feeling numb in life and leadership. She and Carey discuss untangling your emotions, Gen Z revival, and why there are no fake Christians left.
Plus, Jennie touches on the value of being raw and transparent.
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Welcome to The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast, a podcast about leadership, change, and personal growth. I hope this episode helps you thrive in life and leadership.
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Intro Music:
Song: Alexey Anisimov - Always Be Beautiful
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Chapters
00:00 - How to Help a Leader in Depression
02:57 - Do We Really Want a Revival?
10:07 - The Worst Talk I've Ever Given
15:47 - Wonders of the Next Generation
20:29 - Gen X and Millennials: The People Who Rebuild the Church
24:17 - John Piper on Gen Z and revival
29:16 - Exploring Your Own Emotions in 'Unlock'
40:56 - How to Be More Kind to Your Wife
42:49 - How to Get Out Of Anger
43:25 - The First Time You Remember Being Scared
55:21 - How To Deal With Conflict
56:09 - How to Love Your Emotions
01:06:52 - How to Get Through a Season of Burnout
01:07:43 - When Did I Go Numb?
01:16:21 - How to Get Out of Numbness

[@CareyNieuwhof]

What stood out to you from this conversation with Jennie?

[@ryanlund1868]

When you were describing that event with the dog. Then Jennie tells you what she sees - had me crying while I’m washing dishes. And then my little 5 year old boy comes down the stairs and it just hits me, “What event would he say - this could have already happened?!” And I know I can’t stop those things and there will be lots I’ll be unaware of that I’ll apologize for in 20 years when they’re grown. But how she spoke “to” that little boy was so touching.

[@agnesjan-peterhoffmeister2588]

What a powerful interview! Both of you were very vulnerable and that is what touched me and strongly supported your message of being authentic. Very touching, had me crying. Thank you for all the insight, hope and wisdom in that talk! Greetings from Germany

[@ryanlund1868]

Jennie is going FULL Curt Thompson on Carey right here. 1:04:18 Such a good episode. Thanks for not cutting the real stuff out, Carey.

[@CareyNieuwhof]

Thanks for watching

[@user-ex6mw5gi9i]

So much in this interview! Wondering if Jennie had heard of "Return to Real" by Chalis Butler? She talks about her journey of healing in such beautiful detail. I thought of it when Jennie was talking about how little literature was out there about processing emotions and revisiting the hurting child. Chalis does a great job with this. Thanks for the vulnerability on both sides of the microphone!

[@stevenhaworth4838]

Bless you both. What a great interview. Such a privilege to be in the room with you both as you allowed yourselves to be vulnerable in a deep and meaningful way. May God continue to bless you both in life and in ministry.

[@CareyNieuwhof]

Thank you! and thank you for watching

[@garykingsbury4758]

Wow! Very powerful discussion by two open, honest people. Lots of applications for me and for the people that I am helping/pastoring. Thank you both!

[@CareyNieuwhof]

Our pleasure!

[@loriturnbull3356]

I REALLY enjoyed this. As I listened to this many different situations came to mind. Some thoughts: Grace. I struggle with this one. I'm learning to accept His unconditional love for me. Having grace for myself is HARD. I'm learning to be more self-aware... and with that comes emotions that I don't know what to do with. Recently I have been feeling overwhelmed alot. And I feel that part of it is learning/choosing to process emotions. Recently the Holy Spirit has been leading me to fast more regularly and that's led to me seeing things I didn't know before. His timing is much different than mine.😅 Younger me. That part when she asked you about why you were acting that way at dinner... and how by asking probing questions that led you to talk about your younger self when you were 2-3 years old.🤯 I think it's so interesting the things that stay with us from our childhood. What do I feel in this moment? Recently the Holy Spirit led me into a "connection" time. Where He wanted me to dig deeper into memories... almost drawing them out of me and telling me to say what my emotions were with each memory that came up. It was quite interesting to see the connections He showed me. At first I was VERY hesitant. Why do I need to dig into these one by one??? But I leaned that the healing can't begin until you name things. To look back on things with no guilt or shame... that's a powerful thing! Thanks for sharing this. It gave me ALOT to think about.🙂

[@CareyNieuwhof]

Thanks for being so open

[@andrearush6209]

This is a good listen, thank you. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share your vulnerable, tender spots. I would be interested to hear insight or experience related to the shadow side of being well known by others, not in a fame sense but authentically. How do you navigate the temptations that may have a tendency to creep in regarding people pleasing, image cultivation, and control of narrative, especially if you have had your vulnerability weaponized against you? What are the accountability safeguards you have in place to keep you from the edge worry/fear about this which may lead to sin? I have great compassion for leaders in today's church and also expectation for their accountability regarding actions which fall short and are causing harm to others because of impression management practices common in business practice but which have no place in a healthy Body of Christ. Could you address "life in the fishbowl" and how you maintain a healthy perspective about public spaces? TYIA

[@CareyNieuwhof]

Great points, thanks for sharing these thoughts

[@markroyall248]

Carey... did I just see you in the Gordon Lightfoot documentary, "Lightheaded"?

[@CareyNieuwhof]

I don't think so??

[@markroyall248]

Go to 9:32-9:34...I am pretty sure this is you and Toni. On Prime, "Lightheaded: A Gordon Lightfoot Stat of Mind".