Tub Nyab Tiam Tshiab/To visit them, you have to make an appt 6/21/24

[@NtxhaisHmoobUSA]

All my daughters in_law are super Good nyab Good Manners Respect us 100%. Good daughters Respect the in-law will get Good luck in future.

[@BB01138]

I understand this mom. I don't mind if my parents or in-laws show up unannounced. They do that once in a while and its ok. At least they still show up and know they are welcomed. They dont expect to have a whole meal, everrrr when they come unannounced ever. So im happy they still come over once in awhile.

[@jasmineflower7115]

I bet she only requires an appointment with the husband parents but if it’s her parents, she wouldn’t do that . Your Nyab does not like your family only.

[@maryly09]

100% guarantee she won't do that to her own parents.

[@xeevang3907]

I love this story! Ua tsaug rau tus niam tais uas koj xa koj zaj no tuaj. Yog ib qhov ntsia lus zoo los sib qhia sib kawm vim peb sawv daws, laus/hluas tseem xyaum sib yoo txoj kev peb coj li Hmoob nyob xyaws lub neej khwv noj khwv haus hauv teb chaws Meskas. Sister Jenny, you always do a fantastic job on your storytelling. You're emotional voice at certain parts makes the story as your own and powerful. This goes for those other stories when you paused and giggled/laughed as you tell too.

[@kyaj5781]

Story like this gets on my nerves! If you already know that your kids are like that towards you, THEN STOP HELPING! LET THEM LEARN TOO.

[@lalalalalalalala4264]

Hmong parents like the act like they're the victims. No one force them to babysit. My parents are like that with my sisters, they slave themselves babysitting and complain that no one loves them. I tell them all the time, they can easily say NO.

[@nouyang3166]

Xab maim cov nyab no lub siab me me. Lawv tsuas hlub txij li lawv tsev neej tsa xwb. We are mothers need to teach our daughters to be fair and love both parents equally.

[@diavang3633]

Kuv muaj ntxhais xwb. Txhua2 zaus Christmas los holiday kuv yeej nug seb kuv cov ntxhais npaj ua ab tsi thiab li cas yog lawv npaj mus lawv n pog ua ntej kuv lawm ces kuv ua twj ywm yog kuv ua ntej kuv yeej qhia kom lawv mus ua rau lawv tsev neeg ua ntej mam tuaj ntawm kuv. Thiab kuv yeekom kuv cov ntxhais hlub n pog ntau dua kuv

[@Doodoo578]

Time to turn the table and have them make an appt if they want you to baby sit or have an emergency....Time is important to you and them ..😅😅😅

[@miabhlub63]

Tiam no txhob ntshaw me nyuam lawm. Kav tsij rau siab khwv nyiaj es mus nyob nram tsev laus xwb.

[@kxiong9030]

I believe in giving advance notice when visiting but your Nyab took it to the extreme. Glad she realized that she was also in the wrong. Parents do need to learn some boundaries and stop showing up unannounced.

[@macymango4134]

It’s better to let them know you’re visiting to make sure they’re home but in your case you didn’t but that doesn’t mean your daughter in law can turn you down and tell you to go home since you didn’t make an appt to visit ! You’re there and she’s home so just freaking let you in.. if she need to do other things she can just let you know that she have somewhere to go and you’ll be in your way out !! Simple as that 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@user-bw9ro3jz4v]

I mean, your oldest son Pao isn't wrong. My mother-in-law and the younger brother has no manners. They come and goes as if they live with us. Never notify us. Sometimes we have plans and they show up.. we have to entertain them and wait until they leave for us to continue our plans. To me that is just wrong. What is so hard to just call and ask if they can come? I never show up to people's house without calling first. I even do that with my family, especially my parents. I'm not that mean. If they come unannounced, I have no choice but to open the door. Please just have manners. Hmong people do not have manners when it comes to other people's house.

[@maimoua1371]

Hahaha txaus luag nrog txaus tu siab thiab .tiam tshiab no ces cov nyab hmong kiag los yeej yuav muaj coob zuj zus

[@meemeeh33]

Your son is right. In today's day, whether young or old, we have to call to make an appointment before going to anyone's house or to do anything, especially for those who work. It must be weeks or even months. Just because we are Hmong doesn't mean we should not make an appointment. We need to. It's called courtesy. Your nyab isn't fully wrong, too. That's how she was taught and raised.

[@krystalyeu799]

We live in a new world and new time, appointment is required😊My husband and I requested our parents from both side to check our schedule first before planning anything otherwise we will not be there unless it is emergency!

[@mayxiong1166]

Glad I'm not related to you. Woohoo. You are not on my list.

[@Doodoo578]

​@@mayxiong1166....lol....i need an appt for emergency tooo...time is important...

[@krystalyeu799]

@@mayxiong1166 Me too😊It is a good thing we are not relate to each other😊Because you will never understand traveling & working between US & Germany😊Our schedule is booked months ahead! And we are in our late 40s with kids in their 20s, never once we ask and let our parents care for them because is our responsibility; The same apply to our education, wedding, & life journey!

[@ashton8878]

@@krystalyeu799Seems like the perfect life!

[@hersins]

I 💯 agree. In this world/country we live on time and there's never enough time. Even when it's not a matter of business, my husband and I also plan leisurely things and we should be able to do so without being guilt tripped or forgoing our plans to accommodate other's because of their last minute decision. In hindsight, its actually rude when you give people last minute notice. My inlaws have historically done this and they get very upset when my husband tells them that its too late of a notice. They're also unemployed so they don't understand. To the people that says tge dil in this story won't do it to her parents, how do you know? What if her parents behave differently and don't show up unannounced? Personally my parents don't not unless they need something quick or dropping things off. And they've also worked all their lives so they understand the need for peace and boundaries and when they don't, I remind them of the "why" its important and that its a "courtesy". Anyway, I'm sure this story is very one sided and even if the DIL tried to explain very civily to the mother, she would've still taken offense to it.

[@yangthao5242]

YES! Such good advises. It's what we need right now. Change to be understood and accepted. (And in this story, the MIL may have her "two cents", ;) ) We must have patience and forgive the young for they do not know and are just trying. Give them time and goodness will flow through. And, we must remember that not all personalities will match each other. It is okay, once you know each other enough, to decide if you should continue or move on. So long as you are fair, just, and respectful, it is okay. Pursue your real dreams and what is right for you. It is okay if others don't see and want to be with you. Good luck on life's wonderful adventures.

[@yinglee8513]

Kuv kuj yog niam pog txiv yawg muaj tub muaj Nyab ib yam li koj lawm thiab. Kuv yeej hu xov tooj rau lawv txhua zaus ua ntej mus saib lawv. Kuv los yeej nyiam kom lawv hu tuaj ua ntej lawv tuaj saib wb. Don’t just show up at the door…

[@pangyang7551]

I’ve noticed that most of these kids don’t love parents story is the parents complaining about the Nyab. These parents need to understand that we, as Nyab, are also daughters, mothers, sisters, friend, & employees. We are very busy & most of the time, we don’t even have time for ourselves. So understand when we don’t have the energy to do what you want or want you over.

[@TubLaibVaj]

These Hmong OGs need to find personal hobbies and focus on themselves and stop worrying about their kids or grandkids. As I get older I realized kids will grow up and find their own way so I’m mostly focusing on my own personal happiness and go vacay whenever I can!

[@mayxiong1166]

Good for you. Your missing the point. This daughter in-law is just evil. She's different if it's her parents. Only treating his parents this way. The son is a bit*h.

[@ThePrincessWorrior]

@@mayxiong1166 It’s not missing the point. If they would have their own hobbies and life, they wouldn’t be regularly unannounced showing up and beg to watch them grandkids, beg to do things that they haven’t been asked to do and want see them grown sons who are already moved further away and have their own lives. They chose to live further away for a purpose - to stay away from them no life OGs.

[@ginamoua9989]

I agree! OGs need to stop living for them kids and live for themselves! They kids old enough to do adulting stuff.

[@YajMorey81]

If my parents or in-laws just showed up without notice, I don’t mind bc I know that’s just how they are... But if I’m planning to go over to my tub/nyab’s house, I always text them ahead to make sure they’re home and so they know I’m planning to go over. It’s about manners, we never showed up unannounced. They do the same to us before they come over.

[@xuelee7339]

Tu siab kawg😢😢😢😢😢

[@moa-maioutdooradventures483]

I'm glad I'm a old school nyab. You don't need an appointment to come see me. You're always welcome. Yep these new generation are like that but don't worry remember you will always need your parents. Karma is very near what goes around comes around. Glad she learn her lessons. To those new nyab out there remember you don't always need to be a rude to your in laws. Explain to them they will understand. Your nyab will regret for cheating.

[@MrsKervang]

I have to make an appointment to hang out with my friends too! Life is really busy, so we need to be more understanding and respect the boundaries.

[@chaiyang6646]

Agree

[@mariaeuv7694]

I have to make appt. With my husband too..We both r busy. 😆

[@keith2o9]

Friends and in laws are different.

[@life4dummies2023]

Old folks are not used to the busy life, they are used to last minute planning and extreme flexibility in terms of time, but sadly not those misogynistic traditions and mindset will not change until the elders and first generations passed away.

[@nancymoua4982]

tus nyab tseem tab tom ua lub El cheater es tsi pub neb paub xwb... lol

[@wingcobra]

Life in the America, our time free time daily time, monthly time are very precious have some respect. Family or not schedule is scheduled we make plan day to day week to week months the months. So get with the programs helloO lol. And I’m a OG here.

[@kuvxwb9555]

Forget about them kids! Let them come to you when they need help and when they do, tell them to go find help elsewhere.

[@ginamoua9989]

Its call respect how other like to live their lives. If your son loves his wife and it works out between them, who cares! You did ur job already! You raised him and now he’s taking care of business. Know your boundaries in-laws.

[@menavue9633]

At times i do feel bothered my parents come to my house unannounced. I live in the country side. I would talk to my mom on the phone, then 5mins later she popped up in my backyard gardening. I would get annoyed at times because i would be like ‘Mom, why didnt u tell me u coming over? I need green papaya. Over here is hard to find green papaya.’ My mom always laughed at me ’Oh, i didnt know.’ Lol 😂 But i tell my mom whenever u come over, let me know in case i need something. Lol 😂 But i always welcome people coming over but let me know ahead so i can gate my dogs so they dont see u and bark like crazy.

[@mariaeuv7694]

I agreed 100% what your son said.

[@Leevang6727]

Nyob zoo tuaj koom koj os

[@goodlife916]

Why do some older hmong people feel like they can just do and say what they want and their kids can’t say anything about it. And God forbid the kids can’t accommodate what they want. It’s disrespectful of someone’s time. You want respect, give respect. Everyone is busy, have jobs, kids activities, vacations, other obligations. If you want someone’s time, communicate and coordinate with them. What’s so wrong about that? You cant just show up and expect people to clear their schedule for you last minute. Im 52 yo and i would never just assume my kids are available. I always send out a text months or weeks ahead to make sure my kids are available before planning anything or going to visit. And there are just going to be times where all your kids are not going to be able to make it. They are grown and have their own lives.

[@lalalalalalalala4264]

I can understand people coming over unannounced back in the days because there's no cellphone, and they usually stop by on their way to the store or running errands. BUT, everyone has access to a cellphone now, it's just common courtesy as you never know what or how that person is feeling that day. Life is not easy going like back then, now most have work, take care of the kids, cook, clean, sit in traffic for hours, etc.

[@harmonyolivia8494]

I'm a nyab too, but I dont mind if people just show up even if its my parents or n laws. If people show up and I'm not home oh well tough luck...next time. It's just a common courtesy to call so that way you will know that the people u want to see is actually home and u dont have to waste your time coming.

[@whatheck6797]

“Oh well tough luck” 😂

[@whatheck6797]

Nothing wrong by making sure your nyab and son are available before visiting. My mil would always come over unannounced which gets annoyed but doesn’t mean I won’t let her in. Thinking about it, heck my mil even stole our spare key and argue about it. At the end of the day I can’t blame the nyab and son.

[@pajxyoobvajchannel1040]

Koom koj❤❤❤❤❤

[@touthao5795]

Cov nyab es coj zoo li no es tseem tau make appointment mus saib lawv thiab ces yog tus nyab tsis nyiam niam pog los yog tsis nyiam leej twg tuaj daib lawv li... cov nyab coj zoo li no kuv tsis nyiam li thiab

[@MissYing80]

Tus niam tais, koj tus nyab twb tseev kom koj make appointment ua cas koj tsis siv nws lub maib rau nws thaum nws need koj mus saib mi nyuam. Yog kuv yog koj ces kuv yeej hais kom nws hu tuaj ua appointment ua ntej kuv yuav mus zov mi nyuam.

[@scha4945]

Tsuav nws paub xav thiab thov txim ces okay lawm mog.

[@xuelee7339]

Yus tsis yog luag niam yug luag ces luag yeej tsis oky li os lawv 😢

[@gynnsworld]

What a good story. It’s very true, until you loss a parent or ua tsuag with no parents you won’t understand

[@shongyangxiong3573]

Npam pim lawm tiag puas paub

[@mosvaj1385]

Koj hais yog kawg, niag Nyab no ces kuv yog koj los kuv yeej tsis mus tsis vam lawm thiab os, what goes around it will come around rau nws thiab xwb mog.

[@Doodoo578]

😂😂😂😂...this should be nyab appointment poj liab...lol😂😂😂😂😂

[@maryly09]

I wish i had parents who dropped by unannounced and brought me food. 🥺

[@KuvTseemhlubkoj1]

Nowadays, no matter who we are, it's just a courtesy to call if they're available before planning a visit. Lol.

[@whatheck6797]

Nothing wrong by making sure your nyab and son are available before visiting. My mil would always come over unannounced heck she even stole our spare key and argue about it. Can’t blame the nyab and son.

[@caaspasvang7427]

Sister don’t care about those nyab like that🙏🏼🙏🏼your nyab lwm care only her side

[@mosvaj1385]

Txhob tu2 siab os sister!Kuv cov los bithday, mother’s day , Father’s Day Christmas los yus tsis pom lawv os. Lawv tseem mus koom thiab nqa khoom plig mus rau lawv cov phooj twg es tsev yus ces tu2 siab los khaws twj ywm rau yus lub siab es txog Hnub yus mus ces yus mus yus xwb os.

[@huahang5460]

Me viv ncaus, txhua lo lus koj hais los no kuv twb taug los lawm. Kuv hnov koj cov lus ces mloog tsis taus li, kua muag los lub ntaus lub. Ntiaj teb no ntshe muaj koj thiab kuv xwb pob.

[@maivang6987]

Cov nyab zoo kos tsis tas pab li os yuav zoo dua os mog .

[@ThePrincessWorrior]

Lawv twb tsis tau hais kom pab ne

[@pangxiong8615]

This is a great example of generational gap/conflict between the parents and their children. Both the party needs to meet each other halfway, the parents need to be more mindful that in today's society everyone is very busy and sometime appointment based is sometime necessary just to stay organized. However, the nyab and tub need to also be more understanding/respectful of the OG's perceptions and feelings. Everyone is going to get old and will go through the same/similar ordeal. As orphans on my husband side, we would do anything to have our parents back, please don't take them for granted, they are getting old so cherish them even if they can be more nagging- lawv thiaj yog tus hlub yus tshaj mog.

[@tubleejthoj6595]

They have to make appointments to see you guys too

[@Fromspam09]

Right!! Parents need to stop making the kids and grandkids 100% their world....they need to go enjoy life and vacation too. Life is short....love yourself first even if the kid is your own. They will grow up and never be able to love you the way you love them.

[@tubleejthoj6595]

@@Fromspam09 agree you. American people don’t even do this at all. Some Hmong people are just thinking too far. We Hmong people don’t have to be like this to our families. American people don’t even think or except us as their own kind.

[@whatheck6797]

😂😂😂

[@ashton8878]

Geesh, my MIL just lets herself into my house because she has her own code to my smart lock. I don’t appreciate people invading my privacy so, I purposely always lock the manual lock underneath.

[@lalalalalalalala4264]

Why not just give her a day code?

[@khouher5412]

Yus yuav mus saib leej twg ces ham tsis yuav tau hu teem caij saib lawv puas khoom es mam li mus las mas cov laus nruas kus kes hwv maj thov tsis txhob coj cwj pwm dlhuav dlhuav siab maj

[@hersins]

Tu niam tais koj tus tub pov mas hais lus yog tshaj li lawm. Nws twb ua tib zoo hais tog2 kom koj nkag siab los koj lub siab pheej qhwv2 tsis kam lees txais nws cov lus ne. Koj tias cov hluas ua li lawv siab nyias xwb ua li koj ne, koj zaj neejneeg no thiab koj cov lus twb txhab txhais tau tias koj nyiam ua li koj siab nyiam thiab xwb ne 😂. Txhob chim os yuav tau sib yoog. Ua li kuv niaj hnub hais rau kuv niam os, nyob rau xajmaim no ces laus2 lawm yuav tau ntxim hlub thiaj tau kev hlub. Koj tus tub hais yog lawm kuv xav tias koj txhob chim es rov muab nws cov lus coj los xav. Lwm tus ntshe luag yuav tsis ua tib zoo qhia koj li nws qhia lawm

[@ndzaeumoua7006]

Ntuj os niam tais aw,kuv yog koj kuv yeej tsis mus os,cas koj tseem mus tsuj niag poj dab ntawv lus tsev thiab os.😩

[@seethoj2082]

Qhov hu mas yusv tau ua ntej seb lawv puas nyob tsev mam mus xwb. Tab sis muaj ib co mas hu lawv yeej tsis tshua kam koj mus li yog thaum lawm kam mas lawv tseem muaj xaaj kom looj mask tib si mam mus no hos.

[@Peter123969]

Some of these comments. Lol, I was going to say she isn't fit to be a Nyab Hmong to begin with. Her personality and lifestyle says it all. Everyone is busy, and I get that communication is important. And yes, the in-laws should have called ahead to give a heads up before visiting. Sometimes, people show up uninvited. Never open the door and not let them in. Especially if they are your in laws/family members. To say that, that is how her parents taught her is bs. I don't believe that. Yes, don't open the door to strangers, but to your in-laws? How disrespectful. The world is changing, and we all need to adapt to it. It's ok if you're not fit to be a nyab Hmong. Every woman has her own inner beauty. But at the same time, you don't have to be a nyab Hmong to show respect for yourself and others.

[@Niamhuabtais24]

I don’t blame your nyab. Our Hmong parents needs to learn manners. U can’t just show up without notice. Just because you’re the parents it doesn’t mean you can invade your grown kids privacy.

[@NtxhaisHmoobUSA]

Emily xiong One day will be your turn it will hurts you too. This nyab no manner no respect no good nyab

[@BB01138]

The mom did it one time and knew once the daughter in law said make an appt! Yes, she's pissed and kinda wrong for showing up that one time.. but afterwards, she did try to make an appt with her daughter in law, but she refuse to respond. So they're both wrong.

[@yaajpete]

I don't know about you but my parents can come whenever they want! There is no inconvenience for me. If I'm home, you just a shitty kid

[@vanghang7825]

Depending on the person. Me and my wife enjoy having our parents over even if they just show up unannounced

[@NtxhaisHmoobUSA]

@@vanghang7825 yes it true. Respect all the parents are the most powerful love and luck will come into your life.

[@PM-oe5mk]

This now ex-nyab Lwm is just RUDE! Please don't think that Miskas act like this (ONLY the rude ones), so STOP saying things like, "they/we act like Miskas". Yes, it's POLITE to call ahead before going to visit someone (even immediate family) if you plan on staying longer than just a few minutes, but it's not necessary to call for every little visit (however, if you don't call, you run the risk of wasting your time going over if nobody's home). Having been with my Miskas husband for 30 years, I can say I've NEVER heard of his family (or other relatives) needing appts to visit each other, EVER----the calling ahead is just to insure people are home and to see if they are available for a visit since you do not know if they are busy at the moment, that's all, people! Sheesh, Hmong people need to STOP blaming Miskas for their own rude/bad behaviors! The make appt thing is just taken to the extreme by this rude nyab because she has no manners and is just plain selfish (look at what she did, ultimately, to her husband AND children)! As for planning for events (big or small), it just makes sense to plan based on people's schedules and choose what works for the majority.

[@MsPangY]

That’s the dumbest thing a nyab is doing!! I have 5 sons and if one day their wife says this to me, you think I ever would go back to visit them again becuz I hate making an appointment to the clinic already, why let anyone disrespect you & you “mama” go tell ‘em to make an appointment back at you when they drop off them kids!?! It’s fair enough… 😂 Don’t ever agree to their rules but never visit them! That’s their problem if they go on vacation, they just have to let you know… How rude & who does this to an elder?! And why is another daughter in law is telling you make an appointment!? What right do people have … is to married your son & stop making excuses and contract!?! Who does that in USA?! Even I don’t do that & nobody comes over! These are the nyab whose never been hurted by the husband and his family!! I wouldn’t want poeple who hate me over but good people, don’t need to make an appointment!! I swear, I promise myself if they treat me like this; GOOD BYE BABYSITTING & GOODBYE with my INCOME!! This isn’t right… 😢😮❤😅

[@lalalalalalalala4264]

Maybe you're the type of people that is not ashamed or embarrass when your in-laws walked into your home and see you naked because you just got out of the shower, or you and husband doing the nasty, or don't care if they see your house messy. Some people care about their privacy. If you agreed to babysitting, doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want.

[@MsPangY]

@@lalalalalalalala4264 No, it’s stupid for a nyab to do this! They don’t even have a key to your house! Whose so stupid to do this is dumb Asf!! Nyab nowadays is a joke and a looney baloney! They coming in won’t kill me! Anyone wants a appointment with me have to answer to GOD before disrespecting me is a dummy!! I don’t even like to talk on the phone, if it’s an emergency you have to call someone to make an appointment for you to come to the hospital! Mostly nyab who do this CHEATS so she use the “NIAM, Please Make An appointment” ok, becuz she know she needs to know when someone is coming! I knew it has to be her cheating so she being funny Asf to her mom in law! Only a cheater would be this ridiculous seriously mentally dummy!! I knew it why she did it too & at the end before I finished the story, damn, I was right!! Remember guys, don’t be an idiot! So, do better!! 😂

[@lalalalalalalala4264]

@@MsPangY Wow, you have issues. I don't think you need to worry about people coming over to your house. You talk about respect, but have none for others. You must be the perfect DIL, based on the way you speak, I know you're just very good at pretending to be the perfect DIL. You're the type to talk and act so nicely in front of your MIL and talk sh*t behind her back. Taking the "APPOINTMENT" word to the next level, that's what I call a drama queen. I think we all know if it's an emergency, no need for an "APPPOINTMENT". You must be one of those people who speak of GOD, act so wholesome, but really, you're not. You telling others to do better but you have a potty mouth a major attitude issue. LOL!

[@tiaxiong4805]

I do understand that you have to make an appointment but if you already let them know before you start. But if she doesn't want to see you that means doesn't like your family. That's why when you have anything else she don't show up to GG help that mean she is an opposite person not liking family.

[@luemas2766]

We live in America we do things like Americans. But I think the daughter in-law was wrong for not opening the door for the parents.

[@ThePrincessWorrior]

If she’s opened the door and that mil got inside, the story wouldn’t be nyab appointment. This story would be nyab lazy, nyab disgusting, nyab mooching off of her son, instead. These mil won’t be satisfied regardless, because she thinks she’s God.

[@meeyang8411]

Nyob rooj teb no txawv tim ub lawm. Koj txawm yuav mus ntawm leej twg tsev los qhov zoo tshaj hu ua ntej sib qhia thiab make sure kom luag nyob hauv tsev thiab khoom xwb.

[@seexiong9985]

Remember what you did to your parents then your kuds will do the same thing to you too. We need to respect our parents doesn't matter new generation or old. We can't use it as an excuses. Parents is like our god to us kids. We treat them right then our kids will treat us right too. Its like mokey see monkey do. Good luck to those think or tell their parents to have manner.

[@whatheck6797]

And that’s probably why it repeated itself 😂

[@sceneAriye]

I’m a nyab and I would like my in-laws to let me at least know before they come and not just show up cause I’m half naked all the time. We have a code door lock and my in-laws knows the code, sometimes they just show up with out telling us and make their way in. Thank goodness I was dressed on all those times. One time my husband and I were still doing the deed and they came over unannounced and invited themselves in, hubby and I had to rushed and get dressed like we were sneaking around. It’s our own house and we still have to be cautious lol. The code was given to them for emergency only, but they abused it and come whenever they want unannounced. 🤷‍♀️

[@lalalalalalalala4264]

When I was with my Hmong ex, his family would show up unannounced all the time. We'd be in the middle of doing the nasty, or when we both had the flu and the house was a mess, one time I was on my period and took out my tampon in the shower and forgot to throw it in the trash and my MIL went to use the bathroom. OMG, it was embarrassing!

[@sceneAriye]

@@lalalalalalalala4264 same!!! I don’t wrap my pads up in balls of toilet paper unless there’s guest cause it’s just hubby and I, so sometimes I forget that our bathroom trash is full of my period pads until they had left. Of course I would empty the trash if I know I will have guest. There would be times where I’m just home alone and minding my own business and pop goes my in-laws out of no where. Sometimes I’d be coming out of the bathroom and find them just sitting on the sofas or in the kitchen….Gave me so many jump scare. Even on days that hubby and I are still sleeping in or is hung over and not up and we be hearing them talking in the living room. Like pls call or give us a heads up first god damn.

[@lalalalalalalala4264]

@@sceneAriye Exactly! That's how I am too!

[@ylt4072]

If we are "family" and i can't just knock at your door, then we dont need to be family

[@mosvaj1385]

Vuag tus sister , cas koj yuav txawv tsis deb kuv kiag li os! Kuv mas tseem kho ntev tshaj koj mam muaj os😭 kuv ces quaj222 tu siab tag li os! Kawg txog rau qhov yus tus viv ncaus hais tias yuav yug kiag 1 tug rau yus tabsis thaum yug tau luag ho pauv siab mas thaum ntawd yog 1 lub sij hawm uas tu siab tshaj plaws li thiab. Kuv kho2 tau yuav luag 10 xyhov hos. Ces yus twb yuav muaj 30 xyoo mam muaj es tsam no yus muaj los cov minyuam tiam no cev…. Tsis muaj kev cia siab li lawm os mog😭😭😭

[@diannaxiong693]

Cov nyab kws zoo li no ces yog kab nteg qia tsi txog es koj tus tub mag lawm xwb es kav liam tsi thab kiag lwm hnub lawv nrhiav nej tso mam li pab xwb mog.

[@shathao24]

You don't have to label as "appointments," but calling them ahead of time is best. They aren't always home. The tub here isn't wrong. Sometimes our house is a mess and so we don't feel ready for guests. Guess what? When the OGs visit and your house is a mess, they'll give you a lecture or scold you or even talk shit behind your back.

[@hmongremark2686]

Coob tus tub nyab los yog ntxhais vauv yuav tsum tau teem caij nroos rau nkawv ua ntej mus saib nkawv. Tej yam zoo li no kuj tsis yog ib qho phem rau 2 tog siv vim nuj nqes yog nyiaj txiag ua rau sawv daws tsis khoom nyob sib pauj yam tsis suav caij nyoog.

[@mlee7800]

Good things to learn in this video!!!

[@lalalalalalalala4264]

Back in the days, there were no cellphone and people show up unexpectedly because they're probably on their way to the store and decided to stop by to chat. People look forward to having guests because they also have more free time, a lot of Hmong were on government assistance. Nowadays, everyone has a cellphone, it takes two income to make ends meet, on top of taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning, etc. It has nothing to do with respect. This MIL in full of drama.

[@Doodoo578]

You don't need an appt to see family but it depends on which family...i bet she would not do that to her own parents.....I would just ignore them... if they want an appt...if they have an emergency...you should tell them to make an appt with you too...😅😅😅

[@m.muaslis6902]

It's appt= appointment Apt= apartment

[@suexiong537]

Txhob tu siab tas tas vim tib qho yus tus tub ua tsis tau txiv xwb...

[@Lunamochi4]

What a sad ending....to this story.

[@HumbleGolds]

Immediate family visitation is not a business. Only appt are required for business or special situations only. Absolutely need attitude adjustment.

[@lalalalalalalala4264]

The MIL in being a drama queen by exaggerating and using the word "APPOINTMENT".

[@ThePrincessWorrior]

Neb nyog niam pog txiv yawg tiam sis yuav kom lwv chawj neb cuag tswv ntuj na. Tswv ntuj kiag twb tsis mus nkag neeg lub neej yog neeg tsis caw tsis qhib kev naj, es kojj yuav ua cuag koj yog poj tswv ntuj os niam pog aw. It’s call respect, privacy, and security. Unless it’s emergency of life and death, I will never show up to anybody’s place uninvited or unannounced, period. And so random people or relatives who just show up at my door won’t get into my house either.

[@Fromspam09]

For all these kids who need an appt from your parents.....when yo @ss needs them for anything you better make an appt too....this game is a two way street!! I understand the new generation is this way....BUT you don't need to be so rude about it. There is a more kinder way to talk to your parents.

[@ThePrincessWorrior]

Sounds like they didn’t ask for any help though

[@Fromspam09]

@@ThePrincessWorrior The son and DIL? They asked the parents when the DIL had her surgery/infection.. I don't hear an appt was made? haha

[@ThePrincessWorrior]

@@Fromspam09 The mil said it herself, it was the other son that asked.

[@lalalalalalalala4264]

The MIL can easily say NO to babysitting. But she wants to act like she's the angel. I don't blame the daughter-in-law for leaving.

[@Fromspam09]

@@ThePrincessWorrior ..directly or indirectly thru others is still asking. They didn't have the balls to ask directly so they went thru the other brother who they knew would ask the parents..It doesn't need to be said in the story. When pep don't ask directly its cause they know what they did wrong.

[@kellyyang1628]

I don’t mind if in laws show up here and there unannounced but all the time really does get kinda inconvenient. I think it’s just right to call someone when you are going to go over no matter your age or what. And it’s normal for you to call people ahead of time, it’s not a disrespect especially towards elders. Hmong elders just made shit so hard back then especially when it comes to privacy and respect toward younger generations.

[@hlubyang4072]

Cov nyab tiam tshiab no yog nyab neej tsa thiab nyab phooj ywg xwb nawb....

[@ShouaTojsiab]

I am a Hmong mom as well as a nyab. I don’t mind if my parents just drop by and I’m home, regardless if I’m ready or not. Sounds like this nyab doesn’t like her in-laws and making excuses. I can’t stand nyabs like this. Cov nyab no thaum nws need yus ces yuav tau need appointment ib yam. She only welcomes you on her terms, when she needed you.

[@mayxiong1166]

Agreed 100%

[@NtxhaisHmoobUSA]

Me niam tsev aw koj niag nyab ko yog nyab evil tshaj plaws. Your daughter in_law no love No respect Not a Good daughter in_law she is evil heart but one day karma will come to her. Txhob tus siab nws ua rau nws xwb os.

[@tinalee1657]

Being parents, every generation changes, and you just have to imply.

[@nkaujhmoob3961]

It's common courtesy. I have to make an appt to see my doctor 😅 but it seems like your daughter in law don't like your family too.

[@molly24777]

I understand the importance of advance notice for parties or events and respect boundaries. However, her Nyab is too much. It's your immediate family and in-laws, how can you turn them away like that at the door.

[@msgnay6193]

It's all about communication and lenient with each other. The newer generation are more complicated so I don't expect special treatment. Not gonna lie, I'd be traveling after all my kids are grown so I ain't gonna be anyone's babysitter.

[@hl6615]

i am also a mother in law and i don’t care about their schedules if i need to see them or visit them i just go. i don’t believe anything about appointments because that don’t simplify my family values. when they need my money they don’t give me time or when they need a babysitter they don’t check my schedule so why should i make an appointment. quav dev!!! twg thiaj li make an appointment first. they are my children i have qhov rights to visit them at my own time regardless of. yog kv tseem yuav ua appointment ces tus nyab thiaj tub ntawd muab lam kiag pov tseg tsi ntsaws nws ua tub nyab. tus twg hlub yus hlub tus ntawd xwb. tsi need yuav zam rau nws vim nws yog menyuam. yus yug nws los hlub yus tsi yog yug nws los ua yus tus boss.

[@lalalalalalalala4264]

So if they ask you to babysit and you agreed to it, that gives you the right to show up whenever you please? If they ask you for money and you agreed, again that gives you the right? Wow. I guess your children's marriage will not last very long with a MIL like you. Good luck.

[@jrshow152]

Nyab siab phem li ntawd tsis thas hlub nws mob ces kom Tais yuam txiv lawv tuaj tu xwb mas ua cas tus. Nyab dab yuav txaus txhub tas npaum li

[@deryang9328]

Mus ua si tom park xwb os 😂

[@kathao5695]

Nyab lwm phem xwb os

[@chialee3459]

I can't stand my husband's side. They want you to drop everything when they are going to do jingle bell. I hate jingle bell it's always a last-minute thing. Jingle bell every weekend.

[@shaggythao7538]

Tim tus tub

[@tusiabmoua9169]

Koj tus nyab lam muaj2 plhus tias kom muaj appointment xwb, yog twb tuaj txog ntawm qhov rooj lawm los tsev los yeej tau, tabsis vim nws muaj2 plhus xwb,,, koj tus nyab txawm caum suav lawm los cia nws mus es lwm hnub suav mam li muab nws xyuas ces nyaj nws yuav nco2 koj tus tub Lwm xwb yuas.

[@xsm83]

I understand you but you need to stop pushing it. I hate that our older Hmong folks don’t like to show manners. The least anyone can do is respect and show manners when it comes to visiting people. I find it very inconvenient when people show up out of nowhere. It throws my schedule out of balance. So, I don’t do that to others. I always text or call before showing up at their front door. Please, people, have respect and manners. If you don’t, then don’t paint that person the bad one.

[@lalalalalalalala4264]

Exactly! I'm with you 100%

[@moa-maioutdooradventures483]

Sister she just don't like your family. So forget about her. Love whoever loves you only.

[@LymeeCha]

So the parents needs to make an appointment but she doesn't need to make an appointment when she needs them? Ok 😂 What disrespectful DIL! I wonder how her parents are, they must be just as rude and i bet if it was her parents showing up unannounced, she wouldn't be so rude! My parents taught me better to respect the elders unless they're rude but showing up unannounced is not rude when it comes to parents!

[@ntsaisliasvaj2053]

Niam pog los phem phim nyab thiab os Cas yuav muab ib los lus los hais tas li xwb nas cov niam pog niam tij phem phem li no mas ntxim cov nyab thiab cov poj niam heev heev phim nws mas thaum ntawd nws thiaj li tsi hais ib los li os. Niam pog los phem kawg li os

[@thestoryofmylife6979]

I agree with the nyab, nowadays we have to adjust to this new generation. Hmoob older folks need to understand this. This is not in the 70s and in Laos anymore.😅

[@meexiongvang3373]

Koj tus nyab yog cov niag neeg tsi paub cai tsi paub hai lus zoo rau tus sab nraum.yeej yog lis koj tus nyab hai thiab tiag tiamsi yus yuavtsum tau hai lus zoo rau cov sab nraum kom luag thiaj tos taub zoo thiaj tsi muaj kev tusiab thiab yuavtsum muaj kev sibyoog tsi hai cov lau cov hluas yuavtsum paub hai tia yus yog hmoob ce yus yeej coj txawv li lwm haiv neeg kom peb to taub zoo es tsi txhob khav hai tia yus tsi coj li yus hai neeg.vim yus ntse ntse lawm ce yus yuav hloov tsi tau txawm yus lau, yus hlua los yus yeej yuav txawj tuag no nawb thiab qhov nej ua zoo yog nej cob kom nej cov me nyuam paub ua zoo coj zoo xwb nawb.cia nws mus nws tsi txhob khuvxim cov nyab zoo lisko Lawm vim nws xaiv lawm nws nyob los yuav muaj teebmeem rau tus tub nkawd thiab.

[@tublojleebfaabkis1900]

neb ob niam txiv ruam thiab npwb dhau lawm, kuv li yog cov me nyuam tsis kkk kuv los tsis kkk lawv thiab, nyias nyob nyias muaj ib hnub twg ces yeej yuav paub thiab yeej yuav pom xwb, tiam no peb yuav tau hloov thiab yuav tau pauv thiab ov mog hmoob,

[@NtxhaisHmoobUSA]

I have one cousin sister she married the in_law live with them the daughter in_law hates them soo much kick both in_law out the father in_law so sad he get sick the son and daughter in_law they never go visit and take care the parents the father passed Yes he come back harm the son he passed too. Yes the daughter in_law hurts them bad the father passed come back to take his son away so that's will hurts the daughter in_law like she has hurts them.