Jerma Streams - Thief Gold

[@JermaStreamArchive]

5:41 Olive Fingers 14:27 Thief Gold 2:30:14 Brb Ends

[@mauropereira187]

My phone: 0:38

[@HungryVIDEOS-YT]

1:58:47 lol 😂

[@HungryVIDEOS-YT]

Very funny no?

[@Bluehawk2008]

30:30 - Lord Bafford's Manor 1:18:18 - Cragscleft Prison 2:22:00 - Down in the Bonehoard 3:16:17 - Assassins (Ramirez's Manor) 3:52:28 - The Thieves' Guild 4:53:40 - The Sword (Constantine's Manor) 5:33:30 - The Haunted Cathedral (plague quarter)

[@eddmower2297]

So glad this 30 something year old man finally got his hearing back after laughing at a car explosion.

[@beegyoshi6525]

That got 8000 upvotes people genuinely fell for it. I love Jermas community

[@theo1216]

@@beegyoshi6525 Top tier tomfoolery

[@tatererer9747]

So heartwarming, what a lovely story

[@kadiss3512]

@@beegyoshi6525 8k upvotes on the jerma sub? Or some other sub where people took it seriously ?

[@SeedyZ]

@@kadiss3512 8K likes on the mademesmile subreddit before it was removed

[@ChemicalKittenz]

honestly, Jerma calling Listerine a "breath potion" was the most enlightening part of my year so far

[@Namiszon]

thats sad

[@ez-ru3do]

@@Namiszon LMFAOOOOO

[@Tinlion09]

_Do not quaff the breath potion._

[@stinkiepopsicle224]

then he called a pressure plate a “depressing box”

[@endlesswanderer1753]

That one chat member who called Thief a random game no one has ever heard about. Man, Thief is pretty important in the history of games. It was one of the first innovators of stealth and immersive sim genres, and the dev Looking Glass had Ken Levine who split off to form Irrational (System Shock, Bioshock), and then Irrational themselves split off into dozens of other studios. You can hardly throw a stick without hitting a developer with members who came from Irrational. The game itself is crazy big for 1998, too. Another chat member told him he couldn't miss anything in the tutorial. There's a hidden playable basketball court in the tutorial area. And man, Thief 2.

[@sleepy-yyy]

What did you expect from twitch users?

[@dimitri674]

even if I've never played this game I wouldn't be like "lol jerma stop playing this stupid random nothing game.... no one's ever heard of this stop playing" dudes zoomin in life

[@facelessman0656]

I'm in love with this game, thanks jerma.

[@studiogimli7645]

chat is 13 year olds who think old games are PS3 era

[@bluegum6438]

It's like calling The Wizard of Oz some random film no one's ever heard of, all it demonstrates is ignorance

[@Bronxbug]

Chat: Vod watchers skip Jerma: dont skip, you needa help me.

[@Le_dank_memez]

Jerma its me front the future here to help you

[@charrlie514]

Mark grayson..

[@Bronxbug]

@@charrlie514 conquest jumpscare

[@thearchitect5405]

Jerma trying to put Olives on his fingers... 5 minutes later: "Hey Jerma, you should stick an Olive up each nostril!" Jerma: "No, that'd be childish."

[@blankpage9277]

Keep asking until he does it, it'll be funny.

[@sweetpeaon3]

Shoutout to everyone who kept saying neck light in chat, and then when Jerma started talking about being a cartoon someone said "NECKELODIEN"

[@fuckthevoid]

I was there :] Truly a magical moment.

[@Kekkle-]

2:35:31 was almost my first one guy moment. I said "Jerma, thoughts on dog milk?" and he started to read it but was too afraid to finish the sentence. My day was ruined.

[@Alyakismydutchname]

:(

[@leavewe]

you're never going to top that

[@joonakoskue5317]

robbed

[@EsPaRtAnO2009]

Don't worry you will appear in those deranged compilation, "Jerma reading twitch chat comments".

[@ayoutubechannel1492]

He was afraid we might learn the truth

[@__________________________Fred]

"There are no zombies in this game!" 5 seconds later "There are Zombies in this game!" That was too funny

[@Flambingo]

His best streams are always the ones where he plays old ass games like this, I love it

[@hydrnt9449]

Agreed. These are my favorites

[@RetrOchannel]

20 years is "old ass"?

[@hydrnt9449]

@@RetrOchannel in relation to how long games have been around, and for as fast as they've continue to grow and develop yes..... 20 years is old

[@RetrOchannel]

@@hydrnt9449 Not even half video games' life-span. Do you call a 40-year-old "old"?

[@IHateSmilingFriendsTheTVShow]

@@RetrOchannel found the 40 year old insecure about their age and the fact they are statistically over half way through their life and despite their attempts time continues to March on

[@weregretohio7728]

The notion of Jerma playing a stealth game is so absurd. We all know it's just another excuse for him to enact his psychotic fantasies. We should all be disturbed.

[@Wintd1]

I think we all learnt this after watching him play Hitman like a complete psycho.

[@Grasses0n]

The fact that all he needs to realize his fantasies are two bricks, an extra large Huel, and a ski mask... I am very disturbed.

[@Dinofly4]

4:14:20 I'm just imagining ol' Jermy as a thief in the middle of sneaking around someone's house just spotting people playing blackjack and just rocking up to the table being like "Room for one more? hey hey!"

[@Ioun267]

I'll admit, I've never seen someone start trying to bunny hop in a stealth game.

[@3445Pokemon]

The issue is he looks like he keeps trying to airstrafe, which doesn't help at all in this game. Just spamming jump in a straight line can make you go very very fast in the first Thief.

[@pauloricardo-wn6ps]

you can get to ludicrous speeds bunnyhoping in thief gold, the only other games i can think of that you can get even faster is like quake or dusk

[@Ethman16]

Bro was trying to skate 3 nollie pop

[@Ioun267]

@@pauloricardo-wn6ps Interesting. Does jumping have some inherent forward momentum in that game which keeps getting added every ho

[@humanharddrive1]

@@Ioun267 that's right

[@vinicius1453]

Jerma crabwalks while munching on the world's hardest apple for 5 hours

[@brennanneaton3062]

I liked jerma putting his foot down and demanding respect when asked to put the olives in his nostrils

[@artympp7265]

i haven't seen much of jerma but holy shit this guy is crazy he is like 30 and is legit pondering putting a ring light on his neck for a solid few minutes 10/10

[@Philboh8]

Jerma is actually a rather spry 90 year old man

[@InsertSomethingStupid2002]

@@Philboh8 jerma is actually a millenia old primordial being

[@blooberri666]

he's closer to 50 than 30

[@kaizokuAUTO]

@@blooberri666 no

[@biigsmokee]

The funniest thing to me is how I just came from another Jerma Stream archive where the stream opened up with him having the ring light around his neck pretending it's stuck

[@Tr0tim]

crazy how well this ancient game holds up

[@FeelingShred]

even more so System Shock 2 (which uses the same 3D engine) the horror enemy animations in SS2 will MESS YOU UP the first time you play that game they really nailed the "survival" feeling in that game

[@blobbem]

@@FeelingShred Can't say that SS2 "messed me up" when I played it for the first time, but the -enhanced edition- game on GOG was a real fun time. Nothing like crouching around and smacking little monkey fellas over the head with a wrench. The OST is a banger, too. The track for 'Engineering' slaps.

[@FeelingShred]

@@blobbem "Enhanced Edition" is System Shock 1, with some quality of life changes like easier controls, etc. So many great moments in SS2, damn. It's really an experience. Probably THE game which made me take gaming more seriously and that they could have some true artistic expression on them. Huge impact

[@kinnikuboneman]

@@FeelingShred nah

[@blobbem]

@@FeelingShred Oh yeah, you're right. System Shock 1 is the one with the enhanced edition. You'd think I'd remember, considering I played System Shock 2 for the first time within the past 2 years. But yes, it's a fun experience that, while initially it can be overwhelming with its UI, has very few flaws to this day.

[@D3Z3R7]

The entire factory segment starting 1:39:50 , with the goofy NPCs and him just ADHD spamming the levers with the error buzzer mid-combat and being bewildered by the hammers, and the fucking sidewinder at 1:44:13 is undeniable comedy platinum

[@MetaWhiteYoshi]

The instant KO

[@humanharddrive1]

jerma joins the hammers

[@MDK-fo7jw]

2:56:45 - In all my years of playing the game, did I not once think to try that. Ever. Holy shit.

[@og-rollzufccentral8535]

The thumbnail looking like Jerma showing gold so he can yell”ALRIGHT POG, LOOT GET!!!”

[@meandartin1195]

I would listen to an entire jerma audiobook

[@Robbymunny]

Thought I recognized the voice... This is the same guy who voiced mercer in the thieves guild from Skyrim. His name is Stephen Russel. I guess he likes voicing thieves

[@amicableenmity9820]

I can't help but feel they intentionally picked him for that role. Thief was basically the granddaddy of stealth games. Or it at least influenced them a great deal.

[@donlad]

He also did some voices in Fallout 3. Such an icon

[@jillsandwitch67]

He also voiced Corvo in Dishonored 2. Corvo himself is pretty much an homage to Garrett anyways.

[@TheGrimSmile]

He also voices a lot of other characters is Skyrim, though his voice is nigh unrecognizable when he's doing the "shopkeeper voice". You'll recognize him as Lucan, the guy who runs the Riverwood Trader in Riften, along with many others. If you want a real trip, check him out as the voice of Karras in Thief 2

[@TheGrimSmile]

@@jillsandwitch67 I loved the reference to the Thief 1/Gold training mission near the end of the first DisHonored game. Those games are definitely the closest anything has gotten to the original Thief games for me. The robots who talked by using clips of their creator's voice also seemed very familiar ;)

[@ls-rk6hw]

he could have done the full olive fingers bit if he truly cared.

[@imitationcrabmeat9901]

“I don’t care about olives.” -Jerma985

[@stiinkysocks6354]

He doesn't care about us........

[@syok1107]

i have a weird feeling this wasn't the end of it

[@GrapplingHookJones]

I think he forgot that it was for $10 million off the debt

[@katzea.a7880]

@@GrapplingHookJones have patience, man is 65 yrs old after all

[@familyguygaming_]

*gets molten metal dumped on his head* “what happened why am i screaming?!?”

[@alexlokanin3312]

I loved this stream, he's so insane. though I think he played Mugger Gold

[@peperonypeperony7955]

he played home intruder psycho gold

[@Freedo69]

1:57:56 Jerma is the only person that would tell an inmate in a cell "Let me in"

[@troglodytee]

obsessed with the fact that for years jerma claims clowns still go to childrens bday parties

[@bearlyhardley]

Okay I know I’m just at the beginning of the stream, but every single time Jerma is in a “weird mood” you know it’s gonna be great

[@SkeleTonHammer]

Why does Jerma think "stealth" means jumping out in front of guards and then sword fighting them

[@Gamner1]

Can't be spotted if nobody is there to spot you

[@mjfreddyboy2976]

Loved this stream, a real fun one to watch

[@MDK-fo7jw]

The further this game progresses, the more fucked the music gets, including some of the cutscenes. I can't wait to see how he reacts to the weird 90's breakbeat that's completely out of theme and spirit of the game.

[@ayoutubechannel1492]

He kills an innocent person and his first reaction is "can I loot their bodies?". We can only pray his neighbours know what kind of monster they live near, or they might be next...

[@Infeckted-mp4xp]

As an aside, if anyone has not told you: the Cutscenes are hand painted btw. Not cgi or fake, an Artist literally painted those cutscenes

[@leavewe]

cgi is real

[@dylmm]

Fake?

[@bubrub5564]

Thats not very impressive, if impressive at all.

[@Sk8rGamer]

@@bubrub5564 you give npc vibes

[@Infeckted-mp4xp]

@@bubrub5564 Your mom wasn't very impressive either.

[@Smiley3269]

Jermas best streams are when he plays old games like this and nothing can ever change my mind. They're just so perfect and I love every single second watching them.

[@miserylovesyou7540]

in typical jerma fashion, he is absolutely the least sneaky thief possible lol

[@guymann1660]

there was something really amusing about everyone telling him that thieves guild is balls, and then two minutes into the mission he's like "I CAN'T EVEN EXIST!?"

[@bibipixels]

Actually screamed out loud, my favorite unhinged man playing my favorite game 😍

[@bibipixels]

41:24 LMFAAAAAAOOOOO

[@scytheshogun2683]

Jerma is the world's worst thief, yet he is the world's best jester🤣

[@Andy-413]

1:06:38 "WHAT?! How is that possible?" IDK, Jeremy, maybe he heard your loud footsteps directly behind him because you sprinted on a tile floor while wearing hard-soled boots. LOL!

[@Geno746]

We did it. We finally did it. We got olives on his fingers.

[@doubleomurfy8739]

I haven't watched the VOD yet but I just finished this game last year and I cant believe hes playing it :)

[@Grasses0n]

The fact that Jerma doesn't know the wonderful taste of a Honeycrisp apple is a crime. They're the best apple imo.

[@Kovac_]

I think Jerma was mistaken about the game's intended genre, it's not an action first person shooter where you mow down the guards and civilians, but then again, who knows what this PSYCHO is thinking at any given time.

[@joshuadowning8172]

jerma playing every stealth game like hotline miami both annoys me and cracks me up lmao

[@Vizimech]

I was the one guy that called his fan a urinal originally and it brings me such joy every time the urinal comes up again

[@shredjward]

I love this new headcannon - that the constant is garret a few thousand years after and handful of parallel universes away from when he was in thief

[@moonlightning8269]

Convinced jerma intentionally sniffs glue before streaming any stealth game, the tubeist of tubers have better awareness

[@hooty8703]

This? This is where he draws the line? Olive fingers? That's too far?

[@_KRose]

As an apple nerd, I have to question this lunatic's choice of McIntosh as the best red

[@Bluehawk2008]

They bruise so easily, always mushy and brown. Yech.

[@cheyannei5983]

Pink lady, honeycrisp, really any braeburn variety, gala for cooking...

[@razt9776]

"guys I don't have bloodlust" 2 seconds later *literally burning men alive*

[@MDK-fo7jw]

Imagine being born around the 90's and old enough to play Thief, and then not having enough patience to clear the Thieves Guild mission, while playing most of the shitty 5 buck sidescrollers back then.

[@theo1216]

The guy that reads the blood meridian audiobook on KZbin does a great job with character voices. Recommended if you're too lazy to read and want to get into a dark, realistic take on the western genre.

[@1.3trilliondollarman]

Wow

[@1324Potato]

Imagine being too lazy to dive into a book, but watch hours of a streamer. Fuck you

[@theo1216]

@@1324Potato Butthurt librarian

[@doktorwyvern2883]

@@1324Potato I can't read a book in bed with the lights off.

[@gagne6928]

@@1324Potato most people have streamers on in the background. I listen while I draw

[@hannes6318]

I actually fell in love with this game because of this

[@1234jdwind]

After not knowing the difference between a fucking sword versus knocking someone out with a blackjack, the PSYCHO burns his unconscious victims alive. Why am I still surprised?

[@warwolt]

Just stunning how he just barges in through the front door in the second mansion mission

[@Reel95]

Never thought I'd see him play this

[@REM_sheep]

Jerma forgetting the word for pressure plate and calling it a "depressing box" made me laugh way too hard, what a psycho Edit: omg he called Hotline Miami "Boardwalk Empire" I'm dying

[@judydodd3673]

*jumps off* "why would you jump off?" *jumps off again*

[@Noahthelasercop]

Jerma at the start of 12:12 sort of sounds like a dad explaining what it means to be an adult to his children

[@alexeverett308]

>Sneaks into a person's room while they're asleep and kills them for no reason Chat: "That was just an innocent person" Jerma: "Was it? Can I loot their body?"

[@humanharddrive1]

also the part where he put knocked out people in a fire

[@1.3trilliondollarman]

I know all stream people are doomed to DSP void existence eventually BUT this guy has been more than watchable for a long time eh?

[@woverniox]

people call him an anti-streamer because he is as close to a normal person as twitch will ever see

[@Flambingo]

the difference is that DSP has always been a shell of a human being, and only succeeded when he did because he was more or less the only one doing it

[@1.3trilliondollarman]

@@Flambingo hey, DSP has his place in my heart too...but I only needed one DSP.

[@silverhand9965]

@@Flambingo DSP is also bulletproof tbh He's been going for years with thousands of people shitting on him daily and getting banned and cancelled from various places and he ain't slowing down DSP will be the first and last streamer

[@blankpage9277]

Persistence pays off in the end.

[@pauloricardo-wn6ps]

23:55 20 years of thief fan mission and i've never seen someone use broken glass as a loud surface in a mission

[@gattsuchan]

he's so crazy in the prestream today

[@maximummdamage4973]

I joined this stream halfway through. Didn't realize the milk joke started 30 seconds in.

[@septicnaus]

"I don't like forward facing webcam" -The man who changed his Webcam a year later to forward facing Webcam because he liked it better

[@tzardnickolasthelitromanov]

I like how Jerma plays "Assassin" 1 instead of "Thief" 1.

[@VovaliumsThings]

This game honestly looks a LOT more fun that generic AAA crap we get from big studios these days. I think I'll go play it, along with the sequel

[@AJ_MUR]

Based. Go and have fun with the Thief series, brother. They're absolutely worth your time and you'll come out of your playthroughs as a better person, knowing that you had the opportunity to experience these gems. The only other thing I would recommend is to exercise caution with the 2014 reboot.

[@snakesareprettycoolifyouas756]

Why does this PSYCHO use the stuffed olives and not the black ones?? The pearls brand literally has olive fingers on the front of the container. Im losing my god damn mind

[@aaaaaahhh9537]

jerma may be the funniest guy made yet

[@gonzaloc4711]

Local thief steals the lives of the entire security team posted at a rich noble's mansion.

[@pearish]

biggest "one guy moment" for jerma awards 2022: olive fingers

[@doctorgears9358]

Always fun to play older games before all the game developers got together and decided to standardize controls schemes.

[@rune5416]

Glad grandpa got around to gaming on the ol compy box

[@Daniel-gj7uw]

spoiler, he puts a ring light around his neck.

[@Sk8rGamer]

i did not know he played thief this game is my all time favorite

[@krave2789]

I swear to god he put olives on all five fingers and slurped them off. Wtf

[@timesnewroman-]

Finally playing Thief!! Such a good series.

[@HugeCockAndBalls]

Only the first one is good haha

[@jillsandwitch67]

the 2nd one is way better you foolish person@@HugeCockAndBalls

[@CzlowiekDrzewo]

Just regained his hearing and already streaming

[@hydrnt9449]

Man this is the 4th night in a row I've tried watching this stream

[@wawa6711]

Will Jerma ever complete another game? Really wanted to see him play through all of Thief...

[@kinnikuboneman]

He's gotta beat Monster Rancher first

[@wawa6711]

@@kinnikuboneman Isn't that game endless

[@Chance0]

@@wawa6711 he promised s rank

[@wawa6711]

We need to make a poll for him to play Arx Fatalis

[@cookieface80]

It'd probably only take one more stream, since he's rushing through and killing everything anyway. Plus if he gets too pissed off at a level he can just skip it.

[@plzifan3773]

RIP Monster Rancher 2 each stream we stray further from Gods Light

[@syok1107]

listening to him describe how he barbecues made my sould leave my body for a minute

[@cozzycosgrove3361]

Olive fingers is character of the year olive hands down

[@CozyBanana]

jerma playing thief was something i never knew i needed until i got it

[@jillsandwitch67]

"i haven't looked at a compass in 20 years"

[@armandoguerra7658]

I love this guy, hes the light while Darksy dePhilis the complete and utter darkness

[@harvey_jane]

DSP is still relevant? I thought he fell into obscurity ages ago

[@Flambingo]

@@harvey_jane He's so irrelevant that his extremely dedicated troll-base even got bored of him

[@armandoguerra7658]

@@harvey_jane if you check the detrahktor channels you’ll see he’s fallen even deeper into the toxic realm, constantly begging to actual handicapped people to keep alive his gambling addiction, banning everybody that doesn’t follow whatever he says…truly disturbing

[@harvey_jane]

@@armandoguerra7658 oh damn, that's rough. I didn't believe he could get any worse

[@harvey_jane]

@@Flambingo it speaks volumes when even trolls stop caring about you lol. By that metric KingCobraJFS is doing just fine for now

[@italianpc4119]

NEW JERMON STREAM !!

[@MDK-fo7jw]

Oh my god one of my favourite childhood games. Oh no, he didn't do the setup. Oh no, he probably didn't install the fan patches. Oh no, he's playing on normal. Oh no, he didn't configure the settings. Oh no- Well hey at least SOMEONE interesting is playing it!

[@jahrfuhlnehm]

It's probably best he plays on Normal. You fail a mission if you kill anyone on a difficulty higher and considering what a homicidal maniac Jerma is when he's trying to play "stealthily" this difficulty setting is more his forte.

[@innoclarke7435]

@@jahrfuhlnehm Failing a mission for killing someone only happens on Expert, not on Hard.

[@jahrfuhlnehm]

@@innoclarke7435 Ah, OK. When I played this game is with some mods made to improve the game (widescreen and updated textures, better lighting I think, and included some gameplay improvements from Thief 2 I think?). I actually don't remember the difficulties being divided into Normal, Hard and Expert. I don't know if any mods changed it to Easy, Normal and Hard, just that the hard/hardest difficulty required no deaths. I played on Normal, or whatever its equivalent was on the screen. Are there mods that changed things as such? (It seems it would make sense)

[@innoclarke7435]

@@jahrfuhlnehm In future, I humbly suggest not trying to modify a game you haven't experienced yet. Tfix is needed to get it running properly on modern systems, and since Tfix uses T2's engine, some of (minor) changes made for that game are carried into T1, but mostly it's the same game. However, I've tried all of the texture mods for Thief. 'HD' is awful and straight up has baked lighting on the environment that doesn't line up with where the game says shadows are supposed to be, increasing the number of situations where it looks like you're lit up or hidden, but the light gem says the opposite of what you think it should. 'The Necro Age' is also bad, just being primarily the 'Enhancement Pack', but with muted, muddy colours that make reading the environment substantially more difficult. The aforementioned 'Enhancement Pack' is the best of the texture mods, adhering closest to the original art design, but even it doesn't always manage to faithfully recreate the original colours and atmosphere. None of these mods improve on Thief's lighting, either. Thief may look old, but the art design is absolutely impeccable. I promise, you'll get used to the low-res textures. They have charm and they match the low-poly models much better. I say all of this because I think it's very important that people respect the game they're playing at least for the first time. I find that a lot of people, if they play the game first in as pure a form as possible, end up appreciating it substantially more than if they start throwing visual mods and such around first. You end up cheating yourself out of getting the intended experience. Sorry for all of that. In regards to the other part of your comment, I don't know of mods off the top of my head that change the game difficulty names like that. Some fan missions may change the difficulty names, but that's a separate thing. It may just be a simple case of your brain taking the traditional Easy/Normal/Hard naming scheme from other games and replacing Thief's Normal/Hard/Expert with it instead.

[@bitterleafcastle1552]

2:02:41 Guy falls uncontious, Jerma asks "what happened to you" and immidiately slashes the guy, killing him.

[@hahe7350]

Best talking about snapping someone's neck moment

[@jahrfuhlnehm]

Only about a couple hours in but it seems he's paying too much mind to the darkness in the environment and not on the light meter in the bottom center of the screen that tells you exactly how much light or lack thereof you're exposed to. Does he figure this out eventually?

[@weir-t7y]

He's too busy looking at chat

[@micromints1735]

Jerma is a goblin who steals things so this game fits He should play Styx next

[@sydney_pepper]

i like how he keeps the olive fingering just out of screen at all time

[@justinbrosam]

Jerma Streams - Assassin Gold

[@shoebox6741]

29:07 granny smith or gala jerma made me flip off my screen by being so wrong

[@MDK-fo7jw]

3:55:00 - The story beats here are pretty good, but if you want to 100% this mission it's a pain in the ass. if you blow past it on normal it's absolutely nothing.

[@gabriel0742]

damn never thought Id watch anyone play this game

[@broken6656]

One of you talented jermamites out there needs to make an animation of 1:16:51 to 1:16:58

[@swampnutz5201]

I'd like to see jerma play all 3 of the thief games

[@wawa6711]

PLEEEASE FINISH THIS JERMAAAA PLEEEASE!