Jerry Is Unable To Resist A Woman He Can't Stand | The Nose Job | Seinfeld

"It's like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game."
From Seinfeld Season 3 Episode 9, 'The Nose Job': Jerry muses over whether to let his brain or his libido rule him in affairs of the heart, while George dates a woman with a large nose.
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About Seinfeld:
Seinfeld stars Jerry Seinfeld as a stand-up comedian whose life in New York City is made even more chaotic by his quirky group of friends who join him in wrestling with life's most perplexing, yet often trivial questions. Often described as "a show about nothing," Seinfeld mines the humor in life's mundane situations like waiting in line, searching for a lost item, or the trials and tribulations of dating. Co-starring are Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Jerry's ex-girlfriend and current platonic pal, Elaine Benes; Jason Alexander as George Costanza, Jerry's neurotic hard-luck best friend; and Michael Richards as Jerry's eccentric neighbor, Kramer.
#Seinfeld #LarryDavid #TheNoseJob
Jerry Is Unable To Resist A Woman He Can't Stand | The Nose Job | Seinfeld
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[@cabaret25]

The "I'm Nelson!" gets me every time 😂

[@audrasitarek9113]

😂😂😂

[@SoleaGalilei]

It slays me when he says "I don't think this is working" and she looks down at the script with confusion 😂

[@janeskey5042]

Yes! That was the best part : the way she looked down at the script! 😂

[@jarrodbarkley9061]

Kramer throwing the bits of paper 😂😂

[@Lucian-mg9mw]

It’s so dramatic!!

[@bhharsh]

Forget Football or Tennis, Jerry here played the most relatable sport for any man in this universe.

[@jussikankinen9409]

What about up hill skiing, real man Juha mieto

[@EvanG529]

The way she checks the script is incredible

[@andresbordoni9277]

Gotta love that in Jerry's mind, he was still playing using a cool figurine chess set.

[@BDUBZ49]

What were the "figurines" ?

[@johnb1150]

Yeah what exactly were the "cool figurines" with the transparency effect you can barely make them out let alone know what they are.

[@baalsaak]

2:34 "I'm Nelson..." 🤣🤣🤣🤣 2:53 "Well, you just need to relax..." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@josemaria8177]

Jerry is having a reverse George moment. He can't resist a woman he can't stand while George can't resist a woman that can't stand him

[@jebus89]

Tbf George couldn't stand Susan and stayed because he was scared

[@michaelj.r457]

Not just Susan. The woman who Jerry wanted a massage from. George even dumped a woman who liked him for that.

[@jaymike3302]

@@michaelj.r457 George would take a big dump at a party and sink up the whole apartment...and say it's natural.

[@SimsMoyal]

Wow Josè ever since you from the war you've changed...

[@Krana-rt2yy]

"A woman that hates me this much comes along once in a lifetime... This woman hates me so much, I'm starting to find it irresistible."

[@BtheOutLIer]

Kramer is hilarious. I need him Every time I think about taking another drink.

[@amonralice]

Kramer, the best psychologist. 😂😂😂

[@mandiebox7945]

I am surprised Kramer held onto the little bits of ripped papper... lol

[@blasphemer_amon]

Kramer the voice of reason

[@boisterousbillyclub2772]

Tawny so great, bless

[@skyjockbill]

What a great comedienne Tawny was in this. So sad she struggled so much in life and died too young.

[@seven92023]

She was physically abusive to her husband and coke head.

[@MrBmick79]

been there before many a time. Seinfeld was such a relatable show...

[@taxidancing87]

Kramer's speeches are low-key so good

[@IHWKR]

The regretful part is jerry begrudgingly got through the acting bit only to turn her down right before the best part.

[@shonda79able]

Jerry scrambling for that paper. 🤣😂😅🤣

[@audrasitarek9113]

😂😂😂

[@rafaelmartinvannostrand2084]

This is one of early episodes when the series really looked completely different from anything else on TV. Kudos to the actress who played the girl

[@keraptisblackrazor2658]

Tawny Kitaen, most famous for the whitesnake video Here I go again on my own, and Bachelor Party

[@Bart-holow-mew]

God rest her beautiful soul. 😢

[@fromthehaven94]

She was briefly a baseball wife.

[@robertjensen1048]

@@keraptisblackrazor2658 I first saw her in "Bachelor Party" in the theater. Me and all my 18-yo buds thought she was incredibly hot.

[@joddle23]

tawny kitaen and jerry dated kind of under wraps for a few years

[@RockU2Death5150]

Love you, Tawny. Rest in peace. 🌹 🪦

[@shrapnel77]

That chick was gooney birds.

[@nicktubara]

Who was she

[@averydaymond1560]

@@nicktubara She was the video vixen in many Whitesnake music videos most notably in the video “Here I go again”. But she may have very well been Gooney Birds because she was one of OJ Simpson’s girlfriends while he was married to Nicole.

[@Farley__]

Tawny.....one gorgeous woman 🤩

[@JoeChillton]

Kramer and his food stealing lol Priceless.

[@deadvodka]

But they have an agreement. Kramer gets to take anything from his fridge and Jerry can do the same from Kramer's fridge.. when there ever is something in there.

[@youknowwhoiam2771]

“I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally and so attracted them physically at the same time” How sadly relatable…

[@lovewhitey4462]

Many Men and women wrestle with this dilemma

[@sirackcitytv]

The way Kramer rips up number 😅

[@athena7042]

He played some of those scenes like a movie from the forties.

[@jeremytung1632]

My question is, why did he still have the pieces?

[@TheLivewire18]

I think we’ve all had this personal chess match at some point in our lives

[@DeesonJame]

Every day.

[@crzzymnn911]

Im currently going through it. Hence why Im here lol

[@neonfroot]

This is why I say relationships are worse than a few casual flings.

[@ВладимирКруглов-к9о]

I didn't.

[@yavitvexe9997]

Still having 😢😂

[@jtirello3_111]

The struggle is real.

[@u47mkbg]

RIP Tawny, beautiful woman

[@christopherdieudonne]

Yes, absolutely !!

[@BigRW]

She destroyed herself with plastic surgery.

[@SR906-r2e]

we've all been there Jerry...

[@ВладимирКруглов-к9о]

I wasn't.

[@Lopfff]

Here I go again on my own

[@PerryHowell-h9v]

Going down the only road I've ever known.

[@jakejoselitoramirez5988]

Isn't that Tawny Kitaen?

[@shonda79able]

Yes. RIP

[@g.ecoleman5910]

Was

[@nicky2coats]

My brain would never win that battle.

[@whiskeyhoarder9587]

@@nicky2coats so true she was a 10 in her day

[@frenchdefence199]

My new favorite line. "He wins until you're forty but it's not a blowout"

[@e.lfudge4690]

I hope Tawny got some of that Whitesnake money. Those videos she was in sold that album.

[@lovewhitey4462]

She married lead singer so Yes

[@yavitvexe9997]

Jerry's response to a stupid George's analogy😂😂

[@MCC876]

Great to see Tawny. Loved her since seeing her in Here I Go Again music video. RIP. She is special.

[@kreion]

Amazing how I don't remember this episode and I had a crush on Tawny

[@dCaddyshk]

We all did!

[@t-rexbatman36yearsago]

3:52 this whole scene 😂😂😂

[@Bart-holow-mew]

God Rest Your Beautiful Soul Tawny! ❤️🕊️🙏🕊️❤️

[@narajuna]

you one of her husbands, boyfriends?

[@Bart-holow-mew]

@@narajuna I could only imagine to be so blessed. She was a favorite of mine and she was taken way too soon. Very Sad, but Heaven Gained another beautiful Angel.

[@marichiarra8495]

Like it would be that many pieces of paper🙄

[@sustainfem]

But that makes it much funnier.

[@rjathar]

Give me 1 hour! What about tomorrow morning?! 😂

[@mobus1603]

"Crop circles? Why don't you buy something?"

[@bencoleman8171]

Way to much paper thrown on the floor for the size that was ripped up?

[@gsmith207]

Tawny Kitaen!

[@maryjohnson4189nnkb]

Forget About It 🤣🤣

[@Patrick3183]

Jerry was so cute

[@neonfroot]

I can relate to this.

[@drunkweebmarine9492]

Stormed back in for cereal

[@WolfMajic]

Hilarious! Down on floor like digging for drugs 😂

[@hellobeautiful5225]

Can’t believe this is from season three. This has got first season written all over it. So awkward, and kind of dirty.

[@xploration1437]

Release the whole episodes!

[@BDUBZ49]

They're on netflix

[@xploration1437]

@@BDUBZ49 lol, I don’t support pedo’s.

[@BDUBZ49]

@@xploration1437 Then buy the dvds.

[@xploration1437]

@@BDUBZ49 no. Nobody uses dvds anyway, lol.

[@redfordreddington8834]

​@@xploration1437 then move on

[@rjathar]

Aah. The age old battle between cranium and crotch! Depicted in the way only Seinfeld can 😆

[@darger3]

I watched MASH with my parents. I watched Seinfeld with my girlfriend. I watched Arrested Development with my wife. Some beautiful television.

[@nomaamguyplusseinfeldandco2870]

It's like going to the bathroom in front of everybody and not caring. - George Costanza

[@michaeldover]

This scene was some of the best comedic writing in the entire series.

[@andybenson2971]

It's like going to the bathroom in front of a lot of people. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@DavidTa2]

Im 43. The analogy is correct 😂

[@rudy6884]

Some real emotions out there.

[@luckynedpepper9030]

Tawny Kitaen was so hot but apparently had quite the temper.

[@bigreed67]

@@travismcdonald6576 yep. With a shoe if I am not mistaken.

[@seeharvester]

@@bigreed67 He had it coming.

[@shrapnel77]

She was insane, a total lunatic who ruined her life with drugs and plastic surgery.

[@narajuna]

@@seeharvester while driving? WHAT he do???

[@davidgeier5827]

Redhead...

[@LauRa-re9un]

Why do you keep cutting the ending??????? whyyyyy???' I always get frustrated with this videos youtube suggests to me. Put 5 minutes more of program and let us watch the rest of the dialogues. You always cut them. So frustrating.

[@bobg6638]

I’ve played that same chess match per several of the ladies 😂😂😂

[@shonda79able]

RIP Tawny Kitaen

[@toptenguy1]

Thanks, I was trying to figure out who that was, I just couldn't put my finger on it. And yep, sad news about her last year. :(

[@shonda79able]

@@toptenguy1 you're welcome

[@joycampi7233]

She was gorgeous!

[@saifonlawrence2044]

OJs chick

[@mobus1603]

RIP, Joseph V. Perry.

[@raddastronaut]

Quite possibly the best scene in the show ever. The woman is annoying and it’s not Sidra but the brain winning the chess scene is just so epic and you know it’s coming. 😂😂

[@waryaawariiri1812]

Not even in top five. There are several other scenes that are clear standouts.

[@yourkiwimate]

not for me, show about nothing has the top moment for me

[@monkeyboy4746]

With the time/events that have passed, this episode is a bit spooky now.

[@upland77]

Tawny Kitaen is the name of the red head

[@TheStuport]

Isabell or any other "Girlfriend" of Jerry's could NEVER match The Perfection Of Mulva❤

[@blabla-rg7ky]

*dolores

[@BDUBZ49]

Mulva was fn gorgeous.

[@redfordreddington8834]

There were some others that were better looking

[@yourkiwimate]

thank you i love some mulva

[@beeilve]

@@redfordreddington8834 Like Katarina the romainain gymnast.

[@jeanmont]

Yup, been there.

[@12classics39]

Jerry and Kramer turn into Larry David's versions of Frasier and Niles Crane in this episode.

[@fromthehaven94]

I'm guessing the lines being read are not from the play Flesh Wounds in Ithaca.

[@KidPersepolis]

Is that Tawny Kitaen? I think she passed away a few years ago.

[@shonda79able]

Yes

[@westsidejatt]

This scene was recycled in Curb where Larry david wouldn't let a woman eat cake who told him not to let have it under any circumstances

[@johngonzalez4298]

Kramer cracks me up 😂

[@RachelDavis705]

They must not show this one in syndication lol

[@livingshadows6731]

I have that same chess set/board lol so cool

[@user-gk9lg5sp4y]

One of my favorite scenes in the whole series 😂😂😂

[@AMC442]

No matter what

[@alexmapp5444]

I love this scene!

[@sirackcitytv]

It’s not like that at all 🤨😄

[@maryjohnson4189nnkb]

Classic tv 🤣

[@arthurwatts1680]

Let's be honest - most of us would recite the complete works of Shakespeare if it meant the Little Emperor got his way ;)

[@miamitten1123]

That’s not a bad script

[@narajuna]

yeah okayyyyy

[@f.frederickskitty2910]

Is that Tawny Kitaen???

[@u47mkbg]

yes

[@tobuslieven]

Those early seasons were pretty weird. Pretty, pretty weird.

[@joeharris3878]

Never saw that one. Or knew about it.

[@walternullifidian]

Fuhget about it! 🤣

[@Soul.Is.Willing]

Why in the heck would Kramer keep the torn papers in his pocket 1-2 days later? 🤔

[@holyghoststories]

It's Kramer. Clearly, he hasn't changed pants all week.

[@Soul.Is.Willing]

@@holyghoststories lol, I guess Seinfeld knew that?

[@narajuna]

think he expected a reversal, pretty obvious from the promises he asked.

[@markgendala5689]

That's exactly what 'Kramers' do!

[@charlie-obrien]

@@holyghoststories Do you mean that the only thing between Kramer and that note was a thin layer of cheap Gaberdine..?!?

[@Nill757]

Who’s the actress?

[@u47mkbg]

Towny Kitaen RIP

[@dtz1000]

Jerry looks like Sasha Baron Cohen when he has that headgear on. Apart from both being of the same tribe, are they related?

[@JumpingWatermelons]

Yeah this happened to me once with a girl who was..... she... she was a flat earther. Yeah really. My brain lost the chess game but it worked out great. No regrets on that one

[@miamitten1123]

You married her didn’t you? First child on the way too😐

[@falcon-ng6sd]

So... she didn't turn your world upside down?

[@lazyartiste_2357]

Bravo

[@martyc2637]

I would have read lines all day to get Tawny

[@srami004]

Tawny Kitaen?

[@ryancampbell5039]

Yes

[@srami004]

@@ryancampbell5039 thanks

[@LB14745]

I'm Nelson!

[@yyndsai]

she's confused about what's not working

[@robertmccully2792]

Been in a love hate relationship before, not fun.

[@redmed10]

How did they get away with the head wear in chess game in the 90s.

[@slicktheslickster]

This is really an odd episode.

[@stoneylonesome5826]

His helmet should have been painted purple.

[@johnnyawesome9492]

Circumcised!

[@johnb1150]

Thankfully never had this problem cos I've never had a gf...

[@ВладимирКруглов-к9о]

You didn't lose much, really.

[@jeffreese5977]

This isn’t to say I haven’t enjoyed my time with previous girlfriends, but you have saved yourself a lot of drama.

[@johnb1150]

@@jeffreese5977 yeh maybe

[@dalecarney2581]

Jerry date her in real life for months

[@LauRa-re9un]

Really? wow. I see so much chemistry between him and Julia.

[@rachaelinav]

Ya until she got preggers with another dudes baby.

[@saifonlawrence2044]

Is this a new episode?

[@jayrobram55]

I'm 50.. the point is I actually loved Seinfeld...A show about nothing that is so funny... I watched every episode even when the last one were they all were going to jail

[@gipperbanana]

Not much of a point really

[@henrywallacesghost5883]

Jerry and Tawny actually dated in real life.

[@Lucian-mg9mw]

Shouldn’t he be wearing a purple helmet?

[@AndrewsOpinion15]

GOD GIVE US BACK TAWNY KITAEN AND WILL GIVE U AMBER BORZOTRA !!!