Jessica Benko - A soulmate who wasn't meant to be (s l o w e d)

[@deanwinchesterswife9251]

Every time I hear this song, it makes me think about the first boy I ever loved. Before him and after him, I’ve never experienced anything like we had. He was always on my mind. Every day. I woke up to him and fell asleep to him. We held hands, hugged, had those small glances at each other. I loved him. But then I found out it was all a joke. He only did it because he wanted to show off. And I found out he had a girlfriend the whole time. I went home crying that day. I cried in the shower, I cried getting dressed, and I cried going to bed. The next morning I couldn’t even get out of bed. My heart felt so betrayed and broken. I ended up confronting him, letting him know how disappointed with him I was, and how I really thought what we had was important to him. His expression was so blank. He didn’t even apologize to me. Ever since then, I don’t think I’ve been the same.

[@Octobin]

I'm sorry. He was a horrible person and you deserve so much better! I'm here for you, okay? {:,'

[@kimiskim7882]

Someone 10 times better will heal you and fix your pain, trust me :)

[@gaygurl9988]

I know its hard but ur really better off without him, u deserve someone that loves and respects u and treats u as well as u treat them

[@boi5659]

I recently got my heart broken and this song describes everything I'm going through right now

[@rachelroseg1775]

I got my heart broken 2 years ago, and this is everything I'm going through. Hopefully one day it will end.

[@zeerobin7177]

Me too I just did today

[@haileyy6896]

this song is the most realistic song ive ever heard. i always told him he could leave whenever, and he pinky promised he would never leave. he left 2 1/2 months after that promise because my mental issues were too much for him.

[@ashleyperez886]

I’m very very sorry. I told him he could leave because I wasn’t good enough and that my mental problems would get in the way too. 2 years later he left me for another girl...

[@ashleyperez886]

BODERO CELLERI ALAIS TAMARA thank u but it’s still hard for me 💗

[@solowanderer4613]

Had the same experience, I wrote lots of thing that I couldn't post my genuine comment... I'm sorry for you

[@pekkikii255]

Same hailey, same :(

[@BKRules9YT]

Im sorry to hear...my ex left me for a more masculine man....it makes me feel like shit to the point where my mental was fd up hardcore

[@Luke-yt3zr]

“ i never should have said i love you because you never said it back” “ stranger who knows all my secrets” hit different

[@julissacarranza9130]

this song breaks me

[@bia77737]

please dont let tiktok find this..........

[@Moniquelove00]

Fr

[@serex9757]

it's already on tiktok

[@erennn9961]

FR

[@wallewalker6611]

Fr

[@JMemski]

Omg this

[@analisag.5517]

it's already sad, but when it's slowed, it's x9036473 sadder

[@unknownnightmare690]

love...a word not many people know the true meaning behind...according to the dictionary the definition(s) of love is: noun 1.an intense feeling of deep affection. verb 1.feel deep affection for (someone). "he loved his sister dearly" 2.like or enjoy very much. but from a person who has felt true love before i can tell you right now..love is more than just a deep affection or intense feeling..its much more than just that...when you are IN love..it can make you do crazy things...you think of that person 24/7 and you want to talk to them every second of everyday..you are willing to do anything for that person to make sure they are happy and smiling..when you say you love someone you mean that you are willing to stay loyal, honest, and trustworthy to them for as long as you live...no matter how much damage they cause you mentally, emotionally, and physically, you still want to make sure they are ok even if they do not care the way they used to you still care for them the same way...you still want them to be yours even though they are in love with someone else now and you cannot take them back...you still love them the same way till death..and you are still willing to be there for them...that is how you know you fell too deep in love..even when you caused them damage...you fixed your mistakes just for them even when it was too late...they are so far out of your reach..they are so close but so so fucking far from your reach...you want to grab a hold of their hand but everytime you are close to grabbing a hold of their hand they vanish...they are gone...their love for you is gone...it breaks you but you still suck it up and continue trying to find and search for them...you want only them and it feels like that will never change...it feels like you can never fall in love with another...it feels like you wont ever find another like them...you think of all those happy memories and cry realizing they really are just memories now...no longer moments...you look back and wish you would have cherished those moments more when you had the chance...you wonder what you did wrong everyday and you blame yourself for not changing...you think its your fault they left..you think its your fault they are gone now...you want them back so bad but you know they arent coming back and its the worst feeling in the world...love is the best thing to learn from...it causes you a great pain that you wont ever forget...and therefore teaches you alot of things...thats what love truly is..

[@vLunia]

This is beautiful i almost cried reading this

[@jas4666]

this describes my love for someone right now. This is so beautiful and I’m Crying like a baby

[@dbbek1773]

you wrote everything i feel

[@hehe-zs4fh]

omg im not even sad why am i listening to this 😭

[@your_mom.69]

cause its a good song

[@candycanelover101]

Right person, wrong time. It’s even worse when their your best friend.

[@vspgrp]

It’s funny how they all said “I love you” and end up breaking our hearts and move on🥺

[@sairraj8040]

i exactly did that :) i lost feelings for her i still dk why.. we both liked this song.. i said her "I love you" but broke her heart..

[@athenamajlo9913]

We shared so many memories, sitting besides him at the bus. Making a heart with my hands towards him, just randomly waving for minuets and smiling, playing basketball after school and laughing at our weird remarks about someone we didn’t like. Showing each other memes, making my heart flutter each time he spared me a smile. Sharing clothes, listening to music, waiting for his piano lessons to end just to walk him home. And then I kissed him, I know I’m a boy and he’s probably straight. Crazy how we went from that to strangers, not glancing at me even once. I know I loved him and I still do, even wringing about him makes my heart beat like crazy and my ears heat up. I hope he’ll someday talk to me again... yours truly

[@zubii7685]

That gif is a mood

[@skyjeon3066]

I miss her:(

[@itsEvangelyn]

[Verse 1] I never should have called 'Cause I knew you would leave me But I didn't think you could do it so easily And I never should have held your hand On that cold rainy night 'Cause, further along, it would cause another fight [Chorus] Stranger, that's all I see When I look into your eyes A soulmate who wasn't meant to be Stranger, who knows all my secrets Can pull me apart and break my heart A soulmate who wasn't meant to be [Verse 2] I never should have kissed Kissed your hand I am under your control I will never understand I never should have said "I love you" You never said it back So why do I still care for you? [Chorus] Stranger, that's all I see When I look into your eyes A soulmate who wasn't meant to be Stranger, who knows all my secrets Can pull me apart and break my heart A soulmate who wasn't meant to be [Bridge] Wish I could go back to the day we met and leave you be Sit and look pretty Never should have called Never should have helped Never should have kissed Never should have said [Chorus] Stranger, that's all I see When I look into your eyes A soulmate who wasn't meant to be Stranger, who knows all my secrets Can pull me apart and break my heart A soulmate who wasn't meant to be

[@basu07.23]

🖤

[@Jackson-yp3ex]

Needed this💔🖤🚬🥃

[@jamie8966]

this hurts me so much bc i broke up with my gf thru the phone last year bc i was in such a low place and i didnt wanna hurt her while i was feeling that way and i promised myself id go back to her if i really did still love her, once i was able to get myself back together and felt even better, i knew i wanted to treat her better than before. we got back together and we were perfect soulmates... we loved each other so much. i still do, but due to my great fear of the future and self doubting of how i really am and how she is as well, i couldnt handle either of us going through so much pain. a few months later, i gave her an option whether we wanted to take a break or to just officially end it. and once things calmed down, and we still love each other, then we'll decide what to do with our relationship. here i am now, 1 month after the "break" crying because i don't even know what it feels like to love anymore or how to love the way i loved before without her.. i can see her improvement and im proud for how shes become a little more dependent on others instead of only me, but.. i dont know why but it hurts whenever i think of any other outcome that might happen, like what if she falls in love with another guy.. one of our close guy friends, i know shes his type and they get closer with each other by the second. but i guess just that feeling of jealousy and confusion just consumes me since i thought shed always love me as a lover but now it just feels like were friends. and i really truly thought she was my soulmate. now i dont even know, i just want her to be happy now so ill bare the pain i inflicted onto myself.

[@dziendobry5713]

Today my heart broke

[@nojimmyprotested2834]

everyday, im broke

[@shawonbhattacharjee5666]

Genuine one is more touchy 🙂

[@iliyah5913]

POV: your soulmate dies without the chance to tell you how they feel. (when i thought about it this way and heard the lyrics it got to mee.)

[@Ema-pb6no]

Banana fish

[@iliyah5913]

@@Ema-pb6no omg yes

[@stxrawberyvera9114]

not me literally writing a fanfic like this rn

[@hlee7724]

@@stxrawberyvera9114 give the link rn 💀

[@emptyminded4862]

I cry everyday but never told anyone about it because I wanted to seem like the rejection didn't bother me even though it meant that the stuff I've planned for us to do together was pointless. I lost the person I made the future with and It just hurts lmao.......I'm literally crying over a person I've never dated and that just makes me feel stupid to do so but it just hurts.

[@vaibhavidave1613]

Same. He made so many promises about being with me and never leaving me. Later on he chickened out saying that he has a commitment fear, so we can't be together. Everything fell apart before it even started. It's been 3 months since and I don't know what to do with all this hurt and pain. I hope you feel better!

[@sofi_4444_]

To think that you said we would glow up together, live together and have fun, that we would never leave each other, you became my lifeline... you were there for me and I was always there for you. Yet you still left me, was I not enough? Was I not enough for your parents? I miss you everyday...And I’ll never stop.

[@holly289]

this song brings me utter pain. the lyrics are just so relatable and it hurts

[@Griff.photography]

FINALLY I BEEN LOOKING FOR SO LONG

[@janetbrandel9587]

So beautiful! I haven’t had. Chance to listen in a while. Keep moving ahead!

[@unknown_ct0882]

i miss you. this pain is so unbearable

[@AllysaMaeGOjas]

found this while finding a song about not having a soulmate or your friend that's not your soulmate that i can listen while writing a letter for my friend.. this song breaks my heart into pieces.. T.T

[@evolet0806]

first time listening to this and i already felt like crying before im-

[@serenitywoods8805]

You met her on a boardwalk. You were with your friends and she walked up to you grabbed your phone. "Call me." She walks away. 5 months later your yelling back and forth with her and she walks out. You call out to her but she doesn't stop. You go back home to mom for a weekend to get it off your mind. When you get back to the apartment you share and see her with another woman. She looks at you with a look in her eyes that says "I know what I did and I don't regret anything." You yell at her to get out and cry. You ball up on the floor of your living room that you and her set up and cry. 3 hours later you play this song and realize that it was never meant to be. You hoped that this wouldn't happen... You knew it would though.

[@unknown_ct0882]

i just cried.

[@moonrocks6478]

Plz dont ever take this song down....💔🖤🥃🚬

[@Octobin]

This makes me think of my first boyfriend. I had a crush on him for a long time and near valentines day, 2020, we started dating. I loved him so much. He made me feel wanted and beautiful. Then we were separated during the quarantine. I missed him so much and would try to text him every week. We would talk on the phone and it was nice. Slowly but surely, he stopped contacting me. I would text him every day and he wouldn't respond. Not even an "I can't talk right now" or "I don't want to talk,". Just no response... He called me in late October. He said that his mom hated me and was going to call the cops on me. My friends and I had made a joke and she didn't take it lightly. He said it would be safer if we broke up. I agreed but I was broken... I couldn't bear thinking about him. We haven't talked since... it's fine... Anyways, how are you doing? I'm here for you! Don't worry :) I love you. You're amazing. Don't ever let people make you think you are any less than an infinity/10! Because that's what you are! No one is perfect, and that's why all of your perfect imperfections me you, you! Bye! -Violet

[@kimiskim7882]

nani, are you okay?

[@Octobin]

@@kimiskim7882 What do you mean? I just kinda wanted to vent and let people know that there was someone there for them. But yes, I'm fine :}

[@kaden587]

i listened to this alot when i was reading 'in another life' so this song really punches me in the gut, especially the ending.

[@ainii99]

why do i still love him? after all he did. we didn’t even ever date. we were just friends. he hates me now. i just had to ruin it like everything i do. after two years, i still cry over him, his words still hurt me and i still have this small hope in me that, maybe someday, he will see me the same way he saw me long ago.

[@ne4681]

Me in front of people: 🙂 Me when i’m alone: 😔💔

[@catpuccino1943]

after reading aot 138... here we are 😔

[@soysauce8810]

I love her but she doesn't feel the same

[@eley2134]

This song strikes my heart tonight

[@Tabby_is_cool]

Vent time because I need too 🕺🏼 I hate how the only two people I’ve built up feelings for have left me, it hurt so much and still won’t go away. The first person I truly loved was a best friend, we loved the same things and even got into the same shows / books at the same time together. They were perfect and eventually they kissed me, even if it was just at lunch and on the cheek I felt truly loved and cared for. We even held hands and cuddled, we accepted each others feelings and got together as girlfriends, but I couldn’t tell my dad because he’s Christian. The last night I got to hang out with her we watched anime edits ands cuddled, after that she moved and lost contact with me, I was absolutely torn and blamed myself but at the same time thought there was some hope, maybe she’d come back.. she didn’t. After that I vouched to myself I wouldn’t fall in love again, it only hurt. That was until I met somebody online, They were so nice and we’d play almost every night, this carried on for about a week before a “friend” of theirs joined the game we where in with their buddy, they started making fun of me and being rude towards me for being friends with them, I eventually said bye to my friend and left. After I messaged him I was crying because I was, he replied apologizing and I told him it wasn’t his fault. He explained that they were purely jealous and being protective. They kept talking to me about how rude they were, it seemed just like pure jealousy until he said they threatened him with self h*rm. I pointed out how they were toxic and needed to ditch them, they said the would eventually and said goodnight to me. Not even a week later it happened again, except this time I just stayed silent in the game and didn’t even try to talk, I can’t handle confrontation even if it’s online. He eventually unfriended the toxic friend and I congratulated him, but not even a few days later they popped back up on their friends list. The cycle repeated for a month before he started venting to me, of course I helped him with it, but the entire time I was ignoring my emotions and prioritizing theirs. We eventually stopped talking, I still have the option to message him but I don’t have the heart too, especially because I always have to start the conversations. It took me a few days to realize it but I finally realized I had feelings for them, I beat myself up for it so much and couldn’t get them out of my head. I just wanted to have a friend but I fell in love to easily and I hated myself so much for it, I hated how I just magically caught feelings after promising myself I wouldn’t, I hated how I actually loved them. It wasn’t their fault they got pulled into a toxic friendship but it hurt me that I couldn’t help them, that I couldn’t get them out of it after trying so hard, giving so much advice and help for it to just be useless. And just to see the person I had caught feelings for practically repeat what happened before to me made it hurt even more, the last time I messaged them was on the 1st of June, I just want people to stop stepping out of my life as soon as I get attached to them.

[@AmirSezayesh]

great. now i can cry longer....

[@m.ameng54]

This song don't break my heart. But thosr memory does.

[@ak__haiiisseggsy3542]

i miss him :/

[@akasunnasasori2621]

I fell for her too deep, and forget I can't swim.

[@emmascott1429]

"all we said was nothing but the feeling of goodbye in silence" ~Emma Scott (me)

[@junlucas69]

Jess is the best songwriter, she started doing music since she met Billie Eilish 😭🤚✨❤

[@cannicole]

I'm confessing to my crush in a few weeks. She's so talented, smart, funny, and cute, but I'm pretty sure she's straight. She treats me weirdly though. One moment, she'll be all flirty (mainly when we're away from the friend group) and the next moment, she completely ignores me. I don't understand, and I don't wanna end up in a toxic relationship or manipulative situation. But I'm scared that I'm already experiencing the manipulation, because knowing that I've liked her for years despite her knowing has torn me up inside. I have to tell her, even if she sees me as a disgusting person afterwards. Even if she doesn't wanna talk again, I have to let her know. I'm telling her on the last day before summer break so she can have some time to let it sink in and hopefully the awkwardness will be less severe when we come back for our junior year.

[@gisellemartinez4702]

I’m just here bc I’m in love with a 2d character

[@arielsamir3163]

Todos os dias eu escuto essa musica, aos fins de tarde, sempre sozinho .

[@uni4u484]

Sorry if there is any grammar mistakes in advance. This song will always remind me of this one boy. I really loved him. He made me think we were soulmates. He would always tell me he will love me forever and that I was the one. We would hug, hold hands, say I love you, and one time he carried me bridal style. When he held hands, he would rub his thumb against my knuckle, show each other songs that remind us of each other and would mean forever, stay up on ft all night and even fall asleep. We would always talk about our future together. How we would want our house to look like, where we would live, what job we would have, if we'd want kids. He knew about my mental struggles and family problems but he tried his best to help me. This is so basic but, he really did saved me. Even though my parents, especially my dad, didn't really approve of it, I didn't care. They'd say I was too young to understand love and that I should've ended things with him. I should've listened to them. I made so many sacrifices just to be with him. At first, it was somewhat toxic. The people around us would always say lies that one might've said about the other and it would lead to me getting mad at him and then we would argue. But thankfully, it stopped. We had bumps along the road at first but when we started over the third time (yes. the third time.), it was so much better. We kept it private and dealt with no drama. But then he just didn't talk to me (it started happening after a school dance that I wasn't there for). So I thought maybe we should give each other some time apart. During the break I knew I instantly regret it but out of nowhere he was saying how he wasn't feeling the same way anymore. I was so devastated. He said I don't want to make you cry but you wont find someone at our age and grow old together. I told him I did everything for him and made so many sacrifices and he didn't even care. The rest of that day I cried until the morning and cried almost every night. To make matters worse, all the new friends I made that year, didn't talk to me anymore and stayed friends with him. It also only took him two weeks to move on. When we were basically together for two years. What made it harder to heal, there was this one girl who said he only dated me because someone paid him or even more crap that was said. I changed a lot and was never the same. I'm pretty sure he knew that as well. I got into this relationship with this one person and I obviously wasn't ready so I ended things with them. But then, covid hit. My mind was focus on school and he left my mind completely. I threw out everything he gave me and it was such a relief. I finally moved on. I do get sad when I think about it but, only in that moment. I sadly have two classes with him right now but I really don't care. He isn't even remotely the same person I knew but, that's his problem. I'm happy living the single life and focusing on my own thing. Even though you may "hate" me and I "hate" you, I wish you the best and to always be okay.

[@sabbirkhandaker4343]

❤️ love it

[@pennnyyydr2203]

okay but what if my soulmate is from another galaxy ?

[@eatsleepliveio]

I love her but I knew we will not be happy together. Its most painful thing to leave someone you love if you don't see any future with them. Love is sometimes just not enough.

[@LisabUesig]

Might have been enough for them tho. It didn't have to be forever

[@kae148-bae]

i met a guy a couple years ago at an event in my town. he had an amazing sense of humor and was very attractive. he had a girlfriend at the time and was very invested in her. about a year or so later, they broke up and i started snapping him, not knowing they had broken up. after a couple nights of just talking to him, i felt a connection between us that was stronger than anything i had ever felt. he was me. he was my best friend. he was a soulmate. after falling in love so fast and so hard with each other, we dated for 8 months. then he cheated on me with his ex girlfriend and broke up with me. hearing the words “this isn’t going to work” sparked the worst pain i have ever felt. i never wanted to be in love again. i wanted to die. a year later and i still miss how he made me feel. i feel like i’ll never feel truly alive again.

[@sodapop813]

this song breaks me cuz i dont even know at this point if ive found my soulmate...

[@cocogoatxx2993]

I miss him

[@kierstenjolly8327]

He was probably the first one I was truly in love with... he broke my heart... told be he wasn’t good enough for me and started dating someone else right after and I was dumb enough to get back with him. Now he has a new girlfriend who is so fake. We were best friends but his girlfriend turned him against him so when I test “hi :))” I get “what” I miss him but it wasn’t meant to be I guess.

[@jcproductions4882]

she broke me. my first love. i did everything with her 💔 from sneaking out to fall asleep together, showers together 😓 i don’t know why our story had to end like this... it hurts so much. 💔😭

[@melanie7758]

This sounds like Billie eilish when slowed down.

[@basu07.23]

I used to have a pfp like you have now🖤

[@celestecuestas4237]

it reminded me of him..

[@mayoi_ayase.smoocher]

Can someone tell me why I’m afraid of love? Even though I have a lover who I care about very much they also said that they are never gonna regret that decision they made,when they confessed to me they won’t regret that ever and neither am I but somehow I’m still quite afraid of love why?

[@atlas7495]

this is haruki shiga and sakura yamauchi's song

[@toobslol]

this song makes me think of my ex. when we dated it was rainbows and unicorns. thats not how a relationship should go. we never argued and if we did it was about how much we missed each other and how much we loved each other. i loved this boy with all of my heart and more. he was my first love and my first kiss. and longest relationship. it wasnt a long time but it felt more than enough. one day he just changed. i just remember crying because i was worried about him too much. i wanted him to be hapy not mad at me. he changed somehow just in a nights time. it broke me. ik the day would come soon where we would break up but i didnt think it would be on valentines day. the day i should be spending with him. but i couldnt. I remember crying to my mom saying he broke up with me over and over again. letting out every emotion i ever had. i had many break downs after the breakup and to add my pawpaw, my very best friend had died not long before. i coyuldnt take so much all at once. and dealing with school. idk how but i smiled through my pain. crying for months. its almost been a year since then. it still hurts to talk to him but hes happy by himself. i like seeing him happy and smiling. face times are weird but also not. we dont want to hang up on each other so we usually just fall asleep there and waking up to see we are on ft and waiting for the other to wake up so we live the day, crying the minute after the hangup. its hard. life is hard. ive tried to commit two times. failed. and got back. ive got a new thing to fix on; i will never give up, no matter the situation.

[@jawshigo]

I went through something like this. i broke up recently with a girl that i dated for a year and a half. the last thing in that relationship was toxic. i had to leave her, but now i cant stop thinking about her at times. I am with someone who makes me happy, but the girl was different. I shouldnt think about her, but i do. i want to be happy with the girl im with, and i am, buti don't know what i feel about my ex. Its like she formed my personality and helped me realize who i really was. And now i feel kind of pointless, because i formed myself around her just for us to separate. When we broke up, she told me how much she hated me, and how she lost feelings midway through the relationship. she said she stayed with me just to be with me. Not because she loved me. She said she hated me. She said i was a horrible person and that i used her. I never did and never meant to make her feel like that. She said she manipulated me into think i was a horrible person. and now thats how i feel. I dont know if i miss her. I dont know if i hate her. i dont know. I hope i can fix myself before i fuckup this relationship im in. I didnt think i would cry about her. I didnt think i would miss her. I didnt think i would remember her. She now calls the boy shes with what she used to call me. and it hurts. i dont know why. a year of memories, stuck in my head.

[@Bluntfairy444]

This song reminds me of when I was with my ex, and I couldn’t sleep and they would play this so that I could sleep and wouldn’t fall asleep till they knew I was asleep, now I can’t sleep without it…

[@imjustasimp4731]

Holy shit this hits different when you just broke up

[@elevazgar]

😭😭😍😍

[@charlottec7423]

i know this video was uploaded like 2 years ago but it was on my bday :(

[@michael_who]

Happy belated birthday

[@lomasimple]

😢

[@devanshisharma8247]

My boyfriend said he's tired of us.... I loved him with all my heart.

[@philippa6624]

i always think of my ex-best friend who i was in love with. i think she was in love with me because we were the only ones to kiss when everyone was playing spin the bottle. if she sees this she’ll def know who she is😭🔫

[@purnashrestha7054]

🔊🚬☺

[@adnisbiggestfan9205]

I wanna be yours so bad it hurts. I just want you to know how much I like you. You don’t understand how much i wish we’d be together. You said that we were soulmates, I never thought you meant it platonically.. I loved you. The way your smile makes my day, the way your hair looks amazing on you, the way you laugh, the way you’d spend your time with me.. I want to hug you so bad. I want to date you so bad. I’d kill for you, i’d sacrifice myself for your happiness.. That’ll prove my love for you. I’d do anything. Will you please love me back like how much i love you? Please, Grey. I am so in love with you.

[@bleepbloop311]

i never shouldve called \:

[@honeysucklefroggie8235]

Ace. You we were soulmates. We were just not meant to be. I miss you so much. But I really hope u don't see this😶

[@esmeraldasantana1022]

I didnt know know could get slower

[@shanksff7427]

Sad

[@helend6812]

Any Bokuaka readers here

[@siriuslyqwynn]

I just want to sit here in silence.. but I realised I'm the only one making noise, I dont know what im fucking saying tbh I think I quoted someone but I forgot who but one things for sure this isnt original

[@kaylee6781]

This song reminds me of flowers from 1970, iykyk

[@strxwberrym0om0o5]

This reminds me of the Wattpad flowers from 1970... im sobbing rn (You guys should read it