Asians Rank Their Childhood Trauma

[@JimmyZhang]

last week’s episode: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZLTfJmcmdCEabssi=yOuY8cni1IlwlOZN

[@wolfieg8658]

Hi I love you jimmy give me a kiss will you

[@PePe_and_MeiMei]

@@JimmyZhang Jimmy! Do a video about us kids who grew up in nyc ! Show the Chinatown apartments we all live in, the neighborhoods, food etc!

[@braniefanie4938]

why they tryna be black

[@braniefanie4938]

why are asians trying to outsource validation from blacks and every other poc? cringe ash

[@johnhess9530]

@@PePe_and_MeiMeieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee😢

[@bettsboo]

This is traumatic and therapeutic at the same time

[@HudaPardes-c1h]

1.3K likes and no replies? bruh

[@faithfullilac]

frr ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

[@rachael5611]

God loves you! You can repent and believe that Jesus paid the price for our sins! Because He can give you so much love, joy and peace! God bless you! You are worthy in His eyes!

[@Kpopstansince2018]

The only thing therapeutic was the feeling i had when i realized me and one of the guy (idk his name) almost died/ went to the hosiptal.

[@Zaina_Aw]

@@rachael5611bot

[@bensonwang1417]

They weren’t kidding when they warned us last video

[@icespiceate]

Hmmm

[@rachael5611]

God loves you! You can repent and believe that Jesus paid the price for our sins! Because He can give you so much love, joy and peace! God bless you! You are worthy in His eyes!

[@1L1KEP0TAT0ES]

@@rachael5611 💀this has nothing to do with god

[@Wonisdearx]

@@1L1KEP0TAT0ESno need for this negativity

[@하늘-l7l9i]

@@1L1KEP0TAT0ES Everything has to do with God. He is the creator of all things, and he loves you, even when you shun him, when you reject him, when you curse him, when you ignore him. He is always there, and will always be waiting for you, whether or not you decide to accept him. He will always forgive you and will never treat you any less than others, no matter what you think about yourself., No matter what you do, NOTHING could ever break his love for you. I pray that he may bless you, and that you may feel his loving embrace and forgiveness. May you live a successful and joyful life. :)

[@itsloki9426]

I find it interesting that Nina claims that she doesn’t get emotional and that she only gets mad when anger is a secondary emotion meaning that she’s kind of ignoring that primary emotion and turning to anger instead. Most likely subconsciously

[@Frhke]

mhm, well yeah she grew up being taught that beatings are an effective way to discipline and communicate. First few years of a kid's upbringing is vital to the rest of their lives. Sad to see how it affected her and further on her brother.

[@REChronic54]

It sounds like anger is a shame response.

[@rita8274]

@@REChronic54anger is a survival response. She learned in a volatile and physically abusive environment that anger would protect her better than anything else, it is the "correct and best" response subconsciously. She should go to therapy eventually because anger is often an emotion that conceals sadness, fear, comfort, lack of control, shame and more.

[@Kpopstansince2018]

Same

[@marmedello]

What I don’t get is why she, or the other girl thought that her abusing her brother was more traumatic to her than the girl and guy who’d been abused by siblings. She should’ve been the second to last person. I don’t remember the guy at the end’s trauma so I don’t know where he’d fall. The virgin would be at the end though. He made me laugh

[@Nanancay]

Nina is such a victim of generational trauma, but she continued the cycle with her brother. I hope he's okay.

[@covejuice6948]

The thing that seems weird about her case is that she never felt any remorse towards him she would constantly make excuses for herself like "oh I was a kid too" yes I understand that but you at least need to acknowledge that what you did towards your brother was disgusting as literally he held a knife against himself , we never heard her once say that she had said sorry to him or tried communicating with him instead she tries to paint it back to herself and stuff. ( not blaming her for any of it because I get that it must have been tough for her)

[@Nataliobrando5]

@@covejuice6948then again this is a 30 minute video split up between 7-8 people we don’t know what is going on in her daily life and how do u not know that she had this talk with her brother, cuz I don’t think she would say this publicly if she isn’t at a good place with her brother, as her brother can see this video it’s public lol

[@Nataliobrando5]

⁠@@covejuice6948and I don’t agree I feel like your being way too judge mental what if that was u and ur trying to change but people just keep boxing u in as disgusting, what do u want her to do beg on camera?😭😭 u don’t make any sense dude

[@lylabogan8759]

@@covejuice6948I’m I don’t what what your saying she definitely felt remorse she didn’t exactly say she did but she tired, and we all know that saying i was a child is not the best of excuses, but she was a child and she really didn’t understand what was wrong, and I hope her and her brother are both doing ok now.

[@xaquariix]

@@covejuice6948 Didn’t she say she apologised to him before he went to college?

[@Nataliobrando5]

Ngl I think it takes balls for Nina to come on this public Plattform and say the things she said, admit and acknowledge the trauma she caused and be remorseful about it, not many people can do that and definitely still are actively doing it, some never apologized and just choose to sweep it under the rug, but hope the brother watches this and realizes that her sister has grown and loves him very much and hope he’s doing great in Collage and happier! Definitely being in foster then growing up as the oldest sibling in the house then finding out u have a brother out the blue is not something that happens to lots of people lol. This might help a lot of people who was in his brothers shoes like Justin and Sandy in the video where they can get a insight to why their older sibling acted or did the things they did. Thank u Nina for being vulnerable and open it’s not easy! 💕

[@leahgeorge1656]

I completely agree!!!

[@Nataliobrando5]

@@leahgeorge1656thank you for having a brain holy crap 😭😭

[@JackKeph716]

She has big balls for sure

[@maki_lover123]

I agree with thissss

[@kanjihan8279]

i agree with you. some people are really dumb lmafo saying nina didnt say sorry when she say she did. i know it took her 6 years but its the fact she did that counts

[@thedude633]

Nina’s brother is probably still dealing with the trauma he went through. He probably doesn’t realise why he does certain things

[@Virkyy]

Yeah fr. When she was talking about her Trauma I was like nah man that's your lil bros trauma you fucked that kid up.

[@evelieningels9408]

@@Virkyy She developed that type of behavior some type of way tho, she probably thought that was normal bc of the beatings she took and now feels extremely guilty for what she did to someone she loves

[@Virkyy]

@@evelieningels9408 Yeah for sure. You can see she has remorse for her actions and how she treated her little brother.

[@Nataliobrando5]

@@VirkyyI think that’s why she said it because she is very remorseful and that shows how much she has grown tbh

[@lullabhys]

@@Virkyyyou gotta realize that it was her tramua aswell 😭 for her to do those things to her brother she had to go through it herself..

[@dathunderman4]

It was nice seeing Justin open about his experiences. I’m used to seeing him joking around every time.

[@oliviaconifer]

completely agree! i would’ve had no idea he went through all of that seeing how close he is with his parents and sister now. of course no one’s childhood is perfect, but it meant a lot to me that he opened up about his life like that :)) ❤

[@kaitlyndiep9526]

Ikr

[@KAYSEAmusic]

i'm currently a senior in the same school district justin was, he was a senior while i was a freshman. its so true how our culture in the bay is toxic, competitive, everyone is burnt out, depressed, and if you arent any of those then you won't be able to achieve good grades and get into college here, that's just our environment so yeah

[@oreochocolate_lavacake9960]

Same here. Justin is one of my fav creators it's pretty sad to know he went through similar experiences I hope he's doing alright.

[@inalielrose]

Having Viet as a host for this was the right call, he has grown so much and him sharing his healing journey has been wonderful to witness. Mental health is still so taboo and I’m here for it being normalised and spoken about in this vid. Thanks to all the guests for sharing their stories 💗

[@lazzi2462]

Definitely was a great host for this! Hearing his stories & seeing him cry it all out on the UTI podcast before, hurts to hear the things he's been through & how it was eating at him mentally.

[@PK-kitti]

​@@lazzi2462 what ep was he cry can you tell me see that show but don't remember that

[@lazzi2462]

@@PK-kitti It was on the Under The Influence channel, when the guest was a woman named Victoria Song.

[@PK-kitti]

@@lazzi2462 Thx so much

[@camillastyrbk9135]

A taboo? It’s not even possible to open any social media and scroll for more than 2 minutes without seeing someone speaking of their diagnosis or traumas. It used to be taboo - now it’s a trend.

[@rjibril]

I feel like everyone isn’t acknowledging that Nina said she was beating him from age 8 to 13. Parents are responsible for protecting children and teaching them what’s right and wrong.

[@Nataliobrando5]

THANK U PLZ SOMEONE WITH A SANE BRAIN HOLY CRAP

[@keifer7813]

Yeah but she bears responsibility too. I was the exact same as her at the exact same age range. I'd be lying if I said I didn't know what I was doing.

[@MayumiOkubo]

I was beaten my whole life by my older sister. My mom tolerates it. They don’t know how bad it affected me. They keep on telling it’s for discipline. I’m literally 20+ year old and I still get my ass beat. When I moved out secretly my sister was friggin mad like how the heck doesn’t she realize that I moved out because of her? She still thinks she’s right.

[@lemotion3771]

@@keifer7813 You know what you're doing, but at those ages you don't truly understand the consequences of your actions. you know you're hurting them in the moment, but you don't understand that that pain can last a lifetime.

[@keifer7813]

@@lemotion3771 Doesn't change anything. I liked the power I had over my younger sibling, just like any bully has over their victim. I knew it was wrong and she knows full well she did too. Just because you don't understand all the consequences doesn't matter. A kid might steal toys from a store on a regular basis. He/she might not understand that it could lead to a criminal record and ruin their job prospects/college prospects etc in the future, but they still know it is a very bad thing to do.

[@IfrahKhan-dd7cg]

I love the way that jimmy and nina always fight and act like they don't like each other but when nina started crying he was the first one to realise and comfort her.

[@sdy.cheeks]

Never shared this much online .. but happy that we are all here and not letting our trauma define us 🥹💗🫶🏼

[@Maddie-rv6sp]

thank you for sharing ur story, i had no idea all you've been through, ii'm sure it was really difficult to be vulnerable , all of you guys in the video just made us love you all even more

[@romper0_067]

No worries, usually Asian family will says "sorry" when they grow older or before they dead

[@hellodddd33134]

We can tell you're traumatized because of how you treat your boyfriend just because he's short

[@Maddie-rv6sp]

@@hellodddd33134 most of their videos about short guy tall girl are all jokes

[@TheTinyOrc]

It feels like your older brother got a lot pushed on him. He could only survive and he kept that way because it worked for him.

[@tisyasharma8097]

tbh i love fanfan i loved that she didnt judge richie on his trauma because that doesn't really define how mentally fucked up a person can be

[@icespiceate]

Hmmm

[@StrawberryCat-str]

So true

[@MarBeanTrees]

25:00 broke me even more... about the lack of apologies and communication in asian families. growing up in the west with asian love really is something...

[@Adam-sm5zf]

I'm not Asian but my family is the exact same and I started crying when she said that bc it hit so close to home. Sweeping under the rug, justifying things that are brought up, gaslighting. When you bring something up their reaction makes me feel like I'm being abandoned all over again. I asked myself a lot 'why are we doing this'. I went no contact from my family last year and it has been so painful but staying is even more painful. I had to choose to abandon them or abandon myself.

[@braniefanie4938]

why are asians trying to outsource validation from blacks and every other poc? cringe ash

[@camillastyrbk9135]

I know what what you mean. Peoples comment make me furious. I have a mix of all these peoples childhoods including a “Nina”, so seen people defending her and feel sorry for her makes me wanna gag. She’s fully grown up and STILL hasn’t said the three words “I am sorry” for literally ruining her brothers life, and she justifies it with him “doing good” bc he’s going to college. She made all of these peoples traumas about her, and people are to blind to see how toxic and horrible she is. Abusing someone at age 15-17 is NOT “just being a kid” . I was chocked that they moved the ones with the worst traumas for fucking nInA just bc she kept yapping

[@ketchupHuh]

Nina chose to address something so brave, she prolly wanted to take the opportunity to apologize. But there is a story before that and she not being able to mention it because she is so deep in guilt thinking she prolly deserves it is so sad

[@Nataliobrando5]

I think so too she is trying but everyone just kind of making her not able to even more

[@QMS9224]

Yea alot of comments getting on her, and I understand but that's really her parents responsibility/fault since she was so young. People dont realize there was more layers to the story and she actually took this time to admit guilt and her brother's trauma, while still hiding her own. You are right there's so much more here

[@braniefanie4938]

the non passing mtf is really disgusting then and now

[@hamster-t5v]

@@braniefanie4938what in the world are you talking about

[@J-tt1lu]

@@hamster-t5vI mean I think most of us know what they are referring to but Nina is honestly (a) really pretty (woman) and probably a good person when it comes down to it

[@myrthelensink4679]

Nina is like the perfect example of “hurt people hurt people” I also really relate to her not being able to cry and turning the pain into anger

[@Maddie-rv6sp]

as someone who lost an ex bf to suicide, watched my mom lose her life to cancer, got beat when i was little and watched my dad beat my mom, got molestoled at the library when i was 8....i realize there's a reason why i'm not very sane and i should give myself more credit for just being alive and waking up everyday and going through life accomplishing all that i've done. sometimes i feel like i'm not good enough but , u know what, i'm alive and i'm keeping it moving and most days, that's more than enough and i should be proud of myself. it was therapeutic watching this and knowing that other people who seemingly have it all together can relate.

[@Zzz-vh3mu]

Holy shit you’re a real trooper you should be proud of yourself

[@FULLMETAL5.0]

@@Maddie-rv6sp Good job.

[@freeloguy3387]

Holy fck... Yeah to the top of the line you go

[@Northstarboysvsp]

My grandma died from cancer I watch her be in pain it was sad she die when I was 16 im now 20

[@granblueau5113]

Maddie that mindset is absolutely golden, and to go through all these tribulations and to come out on top - takes true strength. Stay Strong Maddie and know that you are LOVED AND WORTH IT!! ♥

[@sly5177]

Fanfan poking about her past trauma so easily is comforting. People always say how terrible it is that i can joke about something so sinister. I don't share my past like this to friends usually (moved around a lot, not worth mentioning), i forget sometimes they don't really know the other half. It's great to hear someone with a similar story, although I don't wish that kind of upbringing on anyone. Sending love from MA! 🇰🇭 🇨🇳 🫰

[@sherine9033]

The way you're making fun of your dark past is actually a coping mechanism. I hope you're already receiving the right help. If you haven't, please get a therapy.

[@djdb1214]

I could never poke fun at my sexual abuse

[@Nicki-sull9m]

When Nina said “looking at me to see if it’s okay to laugh”, “I want him to defend himself”, it reflected a lot of the twisted dichotomy Asian parents have. The ‘if I attack them hard enough, they’ll defend themselves’, but the opposite often happens. It made me a people pleaser & pushover cus the mental & physical stuff messed with my self confidence. Made me normalise or become tolerant of other forms of abuse. I’ve broken out of it & learned to set boundaries, but it took me a while to find a voice. The tough approach works for some, but there’s a difference between toughness & abuse. Toughness sets discipline, abuse fks you up. Glad Nina is self aware & has tried to mend it with her brother, but you make someone stronger by building them up not beating them down. Like how do you expect someone to not become a pushover when you’re training them to keep taking hits & not talk back.

[@oishikaray2767]

"Like how do you expect someone to not become a pushover when you’re training them to keep taking hits & not talk back." ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@maple59]

😢

[@iineilii]

I'm a victim of the "if i attack them hard enough, they'll defend themselves" asian parenting - however this turned me into an overly defensive person who gets worked up and emotional easily than I should be whenever I try to explain myself or stand by my opinion, and I would tend to victimise myself. Trying to unlearn all these unhealthy notions that has been ingrained in me since I was young. It's a journey...

[@8infinity8206]

19:18 got me 😭😭 i could tell when nina heard her story she was thinking about her younger brother and how he mightve felt the same way

[@camillastyrbk9135]

Yeah poor Nina the abuser made it all about her again with her fake crying

[@8infinity8206]

@@camillastyrbk9135 yeah

[@AspiringDancer_Minqi]

@@camillastyrbk9135wtf r u on abt

[@Luvinjanellee]

@@camillastyrbk9135 What’s wrong with you? lol

[@willdandcrazy]

Justin han and richard sabiaga are the LEAST expected members of this style video 😭

[@Grace-xw7nx]

LITERALLY

[@ProfoundDarkness1]

I know Jimmy chose these individuals, but it still goes to show that everybody has a story to tell. We all have trauma in some way and we all are going through life together. This shit is tough yo.

[@oreochocolate_lavacake9960]

Starting to think life is meaner than death

[@mikehunt5106]

Something so cathartic about this video, it really humanized everyone

[@dluu25]

Damn I feel bad for Nina's little brother.

[@rubthesleep]

He probably knows it's because she was treated so bad too. It's a chain and kids can't help it

[@Ayzster5648]

@@rubthesleepyeah I feel bad for Nina

[@Nataliobrando5]

I feel bad for both tbh they both don’t deserve what happened, Nina seems like she can’t forgive herself and is punishing herself maybe that’s why she can’t receive affection too well.

[@NickG409]

@@Ayzster5648 ahhahahaah

[@ComedyGlor]

​@@Nataliobrando5idk she seems to have forgiven herself okay with the "I was a kid too"... like not when you were 17 but I get it. No one is blameless. My heart goes out to both of them but especially to her brother who has to reconcile having a sister that he loves that is probably also the number 1 driving force of all his problems

[@benyaminlatifi4855]

“HOW AM I AGGRESIVE, HOW AM I AGGRESSIVE!?” - calm person

[@blue_summer0814]

asians don’t tell their stories much even to their close friends but this was really really really insightful and I’m so sad that I relate a lot and feel their experiences…. I wish asian kids and every kid that exists in this world gets all the love they deserve I was not wrong and I was not “sensitive” I am strong and independent and I am capable to do everything I want to do and I deserve so much be safe out there everyone and you are so precious plz hang on if you’re feeling like ending this life because good days will always come I waited and waited and waited and fought for my life to be where I am right now and I have 0 regrets I love u

[@ccccccccccc222]

Lowkey thought this was a jubilee video from the thumbnail

[@beverlypeng4721]

High key

[@WildlifeShorts123]

They did it on purpose. Now it helps the algorithm in this video. this one has more views than the few videos uploaded on this channel before this one. The Charlie Kirk vs 25 students on Jubilee is blowing up and this one is benefiting.

[@chickennoodlesoup3301]

Oh I’m 24 minutes in just realizing it’s not

[@limcrystal6150]

i was raped by my dad at 10 years old and everyone blamed me for telling school and got him in trouble. its been 7 years since the exposure and they still think im wrong but ive healed by repeating so many times at therapy bc they always had therapists quit or i dont like the therapist so i had to change one

[@limcrystal6150]

i became suicidal as well and my dad also told me "keep that knife out of sight when we go outside dont have the cops see and come question me"

[@joshualim423]

sending you love stranger

[@MyoMaster]

I hope you’re ok. Sending hugs and love

[@yerri5567]

@limcrystal6150 Im so sorry to here that. But your mum also blamed you instead of defending you?

[@vivwnv8228]

Sending you all of the love and prayers

[@FUZ2706]

I think Nina was crying because she was thinking about her brother wanting to k himself for her bullying him. I know she was a kid too but that's some fkd up behavior to be beating your sibling that bad.

[@FUZ2706]

Watched a bit more and that was exactly the reason. Yo that girl needs therapy, her saying that crying doesn't solve anything and that she hasn't cried in 4 years, that's a terrible way of thinking. Crying is an emotion that needs to be felt and needs to happen otherwise you're gonna end up suppressing it or trying to release it in other ways like anger towards yourself or others.

[@theaumguy1621]

@@FUZ2706 if you never learned how to handle/feel your feelings, it's really hard to learn it alone after being traumatized that much! Imagine being taken away from your parents to live and awfull life with strangers, where you get beaten and probably molested by people who should take care of you.. only to come back to your family after 8 years seeing they have another baby but they never gave him away.. imagine how rejected and unloved you have to feel.. imagine how much you probably hate your younger brother for all of that - even if hes not guilty, she was a little kid, thats what she was thinking/feeling at that moment...

[@FUZ2706]

@@theaumguy1621 Yeah at that moment ofc. Now she defs has time and money to see a therapist and learn how to process sadness as an emotion rather than something to avoid

[@ObadyahB]

Ehh as someone who hasn't cried in 3 years I don't believe it's THAT necessary (unless you've been through something traumatic ofc) and I think she actually cooked with that logic. With that being said, based on her story I think Nina is a broken abusive psycho who has little knowledge of how to express any emotion besides anger and doesn't deserve a hug but instead requires serious help

[@FUZ2706]

@@ObadyahB she deserves a hug because of her ignorance to how she is.

[@virclaire]

It was so sad that Nina could never gather the courage to truly apologize to her brother she couldn't help but joke, not only that but the fact her brother was too scared to even laugh worried she might beat him or scold him again. My heart goes out for the two siblings they both had it rough, maybe one day they'll build a loving bond.

[@keifer7813]

@@virclaire He had it rough, she didn't. Or at least nowhere near as rough as he did

[@virclaire]

@@keifer7813 they both had it rough not just him, she has to live with that guilt for the rest of her life all because she wasn't taught how to love correctly :C

[@keifer7813]

@@virclaire Oh boohoo, poor bully. Poor abuser. Poor criminals out there, and oppressors that have to live with the pain they caused. Poor cheaters. Poor backstabbers. Poor anybody who ever screwed somebody over. They're all poor victims 😮‍💨

[@virclaire]

@@keifer7813 ??? is this how you interpreted my comment... obviously shes in the wrong that's why I called her the perpetrator cause she wasn't the victim in that situation, you can still let me empathize for her cuz she also had a rough childhood. :/

[@keifer7813]

@@virclaire You said they both had it rough as if it was in the same ballpark. No, he had it WAY WAY worse.

[@REChronic54]

31:38 I appreciate her saying this. Although i still think the severity of a traumatic situation contributes a lot. I feel like people with less severe situations tend to feel a lot of guilt for being mentally messed up; because they feel their trauma pales in comparison. With the guy put on the "least", the verbal abuse still affects him long term just like how the rest are dealing with their trauma long term.

[@littleplaza6439]

Agree

[@Yellowfim]

I needed to hear that

[@mirandap00]

I don’t typically like jimmys past content, but I loved this video. U guys came through w a positive message out of a pretty unconventional fked up idea to rate trauma. This type of video doesn’t rly exist for us out there and it’s refreshing to see Asian kids get real w their emotions and process them. This had me crying every few minutes 😭😭 Keep going w ideas like this!! Def wanna hear more life stories from everyone

[@jadenicolequek3635]

wow, never judge a book by its cover! Based on fanfan looks and the way she speaks, she seems so demure and the least likely to have gone through anything dramatic. I can't believe she’s actually gone through so much. My heart goes out to her. At the same time, this reminds me that we should always treat everyone with kindness, so the world can be a happier place! Teehee ^.^

[@ImNotAYoutuber0]

So her name is FanFan, i hope one day I find my own peace but for now still at war with my own mind.

[@Patty_Shop]

This video is incredibly genuine. Gotta love the respectful and considerate tone through each person's story. I couldn't sense a hint of entitlement as no one claimed victim but objectively acknowledged their own trauma and offered sympathy to others. Thank you for sharing such intimate experiences and being emotionally mature in dealing with these matters!

[@GoodGollyMissMolly763]

Watching this, I couldn't stop myself from crying as soon as everyone started telling their stories. Being Southeast Asian, I also have so many traumatic childhood memories that are etched into my brain until the day I leave this planet. Horrific things that I have held in for decades that no child should ever experience, see or no. I wish I could go back in time and hug that little 8 year old version of me that was always scared, always alone, always sad, always on edge and tell her that I love her so much and I will be there for her. I'll wipe her tears and tell her that life will continue to be hard but that she will grow up to be strong, independent and courageous. Parents are supposed to love, take care of and nurture their children but unfortunately some of us aren't blessed with loving parents.

[@Wacko-iy9vb]

Wow I just want to say sorry I hope you are doing great now and healing ❤ you are so brave ❤

[@inayahaider7982]

It's the way Justin never smiled during their stories and understood their pain 😢❤ Also i hope they all feel better

[@hoowang9962]

One of the realest videos on the platform. I'm still workin thru my shit but to see the progress yall have made and esp with bringing on Viet to host, stellar vid.

[@Maddie-rv6sp]

viet was so professional and empathetic and tried to get everyone to talk. i'm happy we're making the right people famous

[@vladimirmakarov3058]

​@@Maddie-rv6spViet also had a hella traumatic life

[@umvemnyama]

I didn't know Nina could be so brutal. I'm glad she's maturing tho, and that she didn't actually lose her brother

[@camillastyrbk9135]

Maturing would be her saying the words “I am sorry and ashamed” instead of “I was a kid too”. She made everyones stories and horrible traumas about her. She’s a terrible person with no empathy idgaf

[@mishiak]

This is so important and meaningful, hearing about others trauma, and about similar situations that we've been in really helps.. asian families, whether its south asian, east asian, we all have famillies that never want to communicate. Videos like these are so helpful because it makes you appreciate yourself for gettung through it, and makes you feel like you're not alone. My dad has always blamed my mom for things I do; its like he wishes I was never born, because he could never handle the responsibility. He doesn't do anything and blames it on the fact he's 'ill'. He has caused so many problems, and I wish it was just me and my mom - he made ME the villain ever since I was little, and my mom would get angry at me too because she didn't know any better. A few years ago we talked more and opened up with each other, she has told me so much - I never hated her for what happened because I know how much responsibility she shouldered and still does. I just wish we could be in peace, my dad gets angry at everything and has to let his emotion out every time, then still expects love in return. Its crazy tbh.

[@uzubet6134]

i feel so bad ive never knew ppl go through this im happy you posted this bc it makes me think of how i treat ppl i love how this video made me emotional im glad that they are still here on earth

[@Bash-in-da-brain]

The fact that Justin shared a traumatic and personal moment where he was most likely very vulnerable and then didn't share anything else makes me feel like there was a lot more emotional and more internal conflict that he was probably struggling through during his youth. Of course I personally have no idea what he went through and can't speak for that but It's a really sad thing to think about when looking at all of your favorite content creators, And this goes for all of them. Cause we really don't know what anyone has gone through, even if you've been in the same situation. In the end its best to remember that everyone is going to process something differently and react how they've taught themselves to, I think its import to bring sight to the fact that in all odds, none of these creators had to do this video and get this deep into they're experiences. The fact that they felt comfortable enough to share such moments in their life to us is crazy and I give huge respect to that.

[@sanix08]

Nina reminds me so much of my own older sister, even if their personalities are different. She always got her way in our family because she was the oldest, and I know she obviously was traumatized herself, but I was always the first person she took it out on. So, it's still hard for me to empathize with her completely. When Nina said 'I was just a kid', I honestly felt like screaming SO WAS I. I tried to treat our younger sister differently, but then she ended up turning on me too, I think because I refused to power trip over her like my older sister, and so my younger sister saw me as an easy target and a way to 'get ahead' in our fucked up family dynamic. I don't blame her though because she was the youngest, and I get that we were all playing in the hunger games without knowing it and she was just trying to survive. And maybe I shouldn't, but I still feel responsible for her somehow, so I can't ever really fully blame her for anything. But I can't lie, she still hurt me too. Being the black sheep middle kid in an immigrant asian family is something else. Man, I don't know how any of us are walking and still alive, but this video actually reminded me of how resilient I am and how far I've come, even if I'm still processing and learning about my own mistakes. Reading all the comments, I realize I'm not alone, and I hope you all know you're so much fucking stronger than you probably realize or give yourself credit for.

[@keifer7813]

You sound like a wonderful person. I really hope you find nothing but joy in your life every single day from here on out

[@sanix08]

@@keifer7813 That’s so incredibly kind of you. But reading my comment again, I wonder if I have a victim mindset that’s making me blind to my own actions regardless of my intent, which might make me way worse than Nina. Thank you for the kind words though. This video was unexpected therapy for me, and then your comment was the cherry on top and made me bawl. Feels a bit weird that I’m so raw and genuine in the comments section but here we are. Life is weird, as am I. Thank you for being so nice.

[@abena8339]

Wow your story is so similar to mine. I love my little sister so much. When she'd get in trouble with my parents I'd step in to protect her as much as possible, which meant I got it even worse. I'd always try and talk to her about how she felt. Always tried to make her feel better. We're "adults" now and I feel like none of that matters. She was so young, maybe she can't remember or couldn't see the significance. I don't want her dying devotion or anything, but it hurts when I try and give her life advice and she brushes it off, or just small things like never sending me TikToks or instagram reels like I send to her. Sounds petty, but I guess like trying to have a real sister relationship. When we were kids we were in survival mode at home, so forming a sweet sister not really at the forefront because getting our parents approval was. I'm not perfect, but I feel like her friends got/get to know her more than I do, and I was always protecting her when we were kids. Never added to her trauma.

[@ObservantMantis]

Know that if she is grown she will apologize. Grown mentally not physically. You all grew up in the same home with different temperaments and perspectives and dynamics. Both your sisters were just kids but really that’s not an excuse. It should really be “we were kids and didn’t know we were dysfunctional. We didn’t know why we did it and didn’t show immoral we were”. The “just” makes it seem like you should just get over it. You should not. You need to talk to them and have them take accountability in front of you and apologize. If y’all aren’t close you should go to a psychologist to understand the underlying mechanisms for their behavior as well as to learn about and heal yourself too. You were a kid too. And you were the victim of their victim hood. You experienced other things that they didn’t as such. Do hold in your heart that you aren’t alone and there are psychological mechanisms at play here. You do not need to forgive them but if they are genuine in their apology do remember that they are victims too- just a different kind. Who should always be held accountable are you parents. They are responsible for teaching right from wrong. But also understand that your parents possibly are victims as well. Remember there is no degree necessary to be a parent. You just can procreate whenever you want. I wish you good health and healing for you and your sisters. Be multifaceted in your understanding but always hold people fairly accountable.

[@Aurorr]

You are an incredible person dear. I hope you find happiness ahead in life. Lots of love from this side ❤❤❤

[@theaumguy1621]

I'm really sorry for everything you all had to go through, you are all very strong human beings for persevering such childhoods! You should be proud of yourself for opening up and telling your stories! This will help a lot of people out there and yourself too! And a little sidenote, not only asian families wont talk to each other about problems/feelings.. Most families don't really do this, that's why our society is so f**** up! It is our generations task to stop family trauma and start having conversations about everything!!

[@hubey]

*FYI* The lasting effects of trauma isn't just a result of what happens to us, it's also how we process a traumatic experience, and whether we feel supported or not afterwards. And everyone will experience an event differently. 3 soldiers in a squad can have identical service experience, but can come back very different: one can be motivated to make positive impact in their home community, one can keep being deployed for more, one can be distraught and eventually end up taking their own life, etc. Often what determines whether we're heavily effected by a trauma inducing event is the life we've experienced beforehand: have we always been supported and encouraged? Or have we always been neglected and discouraged? Trauma is a phenomenon that exponentially grows through accumulation of experiences. It's also a spectrum; from big events, to little every day passing occurrences. And it's not just negative things happening to us, it's also the absence of good things happening to us, a neglect of fundamental nurture and love. Most parents were not informed how to properly nurture, so we're all walking around with subconscious trauma; the state of the world is a reflection of our unmet childhood needs. May we all be kind to ourselves and each other as we learn to patiently re-parent ourselves and heal into the people we were supposed to become. We learned that trauma is exponential, but also know that healing is exponential too. When we start being kind, forgiving and gentle with ourselves, we experience the love and safety we've always wanted. It was never out there, it was always within.

[@Mondscheinelfe]

Amen

[@rin-n4i]

it also IS out there, though; being without love is also really awful yk

[@hubey]

@@rin-n4i Any suffering you feel is totally valid. Just remember that love is like mathematics, you can't multiply 0. So all love we ever experience, stems from what we have inside, and sometimes multiplied by others. Without others we can still experience 100% of our love. With others we can experience multitudes beyond that. But whatever is amplified by another, is simply mirroring what we already have inside. Part of the human experience is to intentionally have our connection to our love disconnected, it's a cosmic game of hide and seek. Finding our way back to our love is a journey of learning self compassion. The surface (light/yang) experience of love is joy, the substance (shadow/yang) experience of love is compassion. We have to learn compassion for our experience of love to become full bodied. And we can't learn compassion without first being disconnected from love. It is painful intentionally, because compassion is the antidote to suffering. Can't build muscle without lifting weights, can't nurture compassion without an experience of suffering to be compassionate towards. When we lift weights we tear our muscles and actually make them temporarily weaker. Then with the nurture of nutrition and sleep, they repair stronger than before. Emotionally we're meant to do the same thing. Compassion is our protein shake. Progressive overload of emotional challenge, followed by compassionate nurture, makes our heart glow with strength and vitality. That is the primary purpose of the human condition, learning to share kindness and nurture for self, enables us to be able to share it with others.

[@hubey]

Typo correction: Shadow is *Yin energy. As in Yin and Yang ☯

[@jameenl9149]

Really needed this. Thank you

[@kiracollins6582]

Nah they weren’t joking but this will definitely bond all of them for life

[@SandhYaaa-bp7yj]

This video is so therapeutic I swear I just love the concept 😭

[@Maddie-rv6sp]

this was an amazing video. i'm really glad everyone felt comfortable enough to open up. i had no idea all the stuff each of you had to go through to becme who you are today ... our past shapes us and explains why we are the way we are. it's really nice to be able to connect with all of these creators on a diff level, i was really touched by nina/sandy's stories

[@canonogic]

Damn, can't believe Jimmy was a virgin, so traumatic

[@sherine9033]

He kinda elaborated that as "lonely," and while I don't know whether it's classified as trauma or not, but I know for sure that being lonely is detrimental, as humans are inherently a social creature.

[@groovyzombietingz4804]

he’s explaining how he was so depressed bc of being blamed for causing his dad’s cancer, he had no sense of identity except distractions and felt very insecure so he didn’t experience intimacy which made his feel further ostracized from his peers while already being bullied. you’re slow

[@Bigpussy.sloppp]

@@groovyzombietingz4804 theyre joking yeesh

[@ilovebowlnoodles]

Right, such a struggle 😢💔

[@UrBigFan]

o7

[@captenmurica8843]

What I find so sad is how muted their colors are. Notice how they are all wearing either gray, black, or dark blue.

[@jararca9847]

That's an interesting observation actually!

[@celenial6009]

Uhm, not everybody wants to dress like a pride flag

[@s7z7gy]

@@celenial6009bro dressing in light blue or white aint gonna make you look like a walking hyperpop painting

[@moran-gq8rv]

not that deep 💀 that’s what’s trendy bro

[@Milly.32]

Wow so so sad…no pink clothes:( save them from neutral colours

[@mickatt3106]

Trauma shouldn’t be rated on a scale I feel like trauma is trauma. It affects everyone differently, because we are all different with different experiences as well as how much you can take mentally and physically. We all deal with things differently but in the end it still hurts and we need to be kind to each others :)

[@l3tsalllovelain]

as a younger sister who has sometimes experienced abusive behavior from her sister, i hope nina's brother is doing well, but i can't feel any empathy for her. i don't blame the child she was because she probably had the same experience with abuse, but the most vulnerable person around her doesn’t deserve all of this happened to him i just hope he can forgive her and live in peace.

[@lastnamefirstname2390]

Wow. This is so touching 😢 I hope everyone is doing better and overcomes their history.

[@domo63098]

I relate to this video in soo many ways. Grew up in an Asian household, as the eldest. Went through emotional, physical,and sexual abuse…. Y’all are soo strong, being able to speak your story without breaking down. Just thank you.. I needed to see this video more than I thought

[@mxlkylxtte]

Family trauma is so fucking tough, when i grew up and fully learnt about everything in my family i genuinly didnt know how to feel. But thank you guys for showing us such a vulnerable side, we appreciate it 💕

[@cartr4236]

Her philosophy on crying is quite sad and toxic... I used to fear crying (coming from a very traditional orthodox family), but as i matured i realised it was the only real way i could connect with my emotions and feelings. Crying relieves all your built up anger and stress- people ask me how i manage my work, my assignments, my care for my dogs, and it really is just letting myself be sad when I want and be happy when i want. Tears mean that you're trying your hardest!

[@gamiedabryan1120]

Watching this video had me crying because I too was a bully towards my younger brother and our two closest cousins. I probably have apologised to them before, but it made me realise that I should do it again. And after spending a while in a mental health institution, I realised that the reason I was acting out back then was because of undiagnosed BPD which stemmed from being sa-ed by another cousin when I was between the ages of 4 and 6. And I know that that isn't an excuse for my behaviour towards the three people who mean the world to me. Thank you for posting this video and helping me come to the realisation that I need to apologise and take action for my behaviour. This video made me do some self reflecting. And thank you to the seven of you for sharing. I wish you all well on your journeys 🫶🏾

[@Arcanis200488]

Hi Jimmy, in my opinion this is your best video yet. So meaningful.. Thank you

[@xalxchax6989]

Honestly I find it nice seeing Nina’s perspective as the abusiver, I always wondered what their perspective was when doing that as I was the victim

[@alishakarriem3127]

I agree. I think we tend to understand trauma differently from the victim than the perpetrators. But in reality you don’t get to choose how the trauma affects you. As someone who wasn’t very nice to their siblings when I was younger it is a guilt I carry with me always. Even though I have apologized and made amends and received forgiveness from them. It is still my deepest shame. I have been in therapy since I was 14 and learned I had many undiagnosed mental illnesses alongside emotional neglect. It is not an excuse but it has made it easier for me to soften my self hatred as I was also a child and could not help myself at the time. No one is perfect and I don’t believe our mistakes define us, only what we do with the responsibility of hurting others.

[@keifer7813]

​@@alishakarriem3127Nah bruh. You suck. And so do I because you, I, Nina, and every other person like us knew full well what we were doing. Cut it with the age excuse. People like us don't deserve to be happy. Our bullying likely messed up our siblings for life. Be real with yourself

[@keifer7813]

@@alishakarriem3127 🎻 🎻 🎻

[@jonathanhamlet1942]

I know it's not easy sharing and discussing trauma and things that have stayed with us so thank you again for being brave and telling us what you've been through and you're never alone!❤

[@lilyrubyleo]

This video really made me realize how lucky I am in life to have a loving family and great friends. Sometimes I forget that not everyone has it as easy as me.

[@tweeze123]

I have never met an asian person who said they had a healthy upbringing with 2 loving present parents.

[@Aurorr]

There are many, I've seen numerous around myself but sadly doesn't include me.

[@shunie.bunnie_]

I actually thought I was that until I realized that I wasn't :'D

[@AishasLife4U]

My best friend ❤❤

[@zaisxu]

This is true!! I think the ‘with’ is a very important factor. You can have 2 loving present parents but still have an unhealthy upbringing

[@destiny108-j6b]

That girl described her younger brother's trauma that she inflicted on him, (because of her own shit she went through) and not her own traumatic experiences, would of been good for her to explain how she ended up in foster care and what she went through for her to become so angry and desensitised/anti affectionate

[@ObadyahB]

That's what I'm saying I didn't understand why Gabe told Jimmy to hug her cause tbh based on her story she seems like a broken abusive person who doesn't know how to express herself...similar to an abusive dad

[@rayannorval7003]

@@ObadyahB I can see why someone would think that, but I think it's important to also understand that she explained that she feels remorse for her actions and that when asked what her biggest trauma is, she gave that story. It goes to show that she does massively regret her actions, and is having to live with the trauma of doing that to someone she loves, even if she did it when she was younger and didn't know better. The fact that the prompt was "What's your biggest trauma" and that's what she shared, shows the impact it has on her.

[@keithmutamba1395]

@@rayannorval7003 it’s very easy to say that if you aren’t the younger brother in her story.

[@muh4229]

The trauma doesn’t just lie in what happened at foster care, but also that entire experience of being the abuser and dealing with the shameful fact that your brother is suicidal because of you and yet you can’t apologize and express love because it was never taught to you. An analogy for this is having social anxiety where you just can’t bring yourself to talk because of a mental blockage.

[@someotheralias]

She was parentified before the age of 8 to two special needs foster siblings in an abusive environment that she carried over to her biological family. I think it’s pretty brave of her to diminish her own trauma and highlight her brother’s in a video where she’s supposed to talk about hers. It shows true remorse that most abusers are too egotistic to feel. Was she horrible to her brother? Yea of course. But that’s between her and her brother, and it seems like they went to a place where they both overcame it.

[@christianshim6204]

Nah honestly this video is so fucking raw n genuine. I be in everyones shoes. Life is rough even now. But all I can do is keep my head up high and make the most of it. N share positivity with other ppl. Thank You Jimmy for this video. My eyes are red but fuck it. We need to cry too

[@heyanhho]

The idea of comparing trauma is problematic but if this is what it takes for people to share how they've been hurt or have hurt others, count me in. These conversations are so important to have to gain different perspectives not only on our own experiences but also to get a better sense of how people and the world work. I also used to view the world as a scary place with violent people who only care to tell me what to do. Turns out there are so many others who care and know how to better support me than the ones I was born to be with.

[@Eunbababbabanann]

I feel so bad for Nina and her brother. I can't imagine the pain of realising what she really did

[@CjAlly]

I just want to say thank you for sharing all of your stories and being so brave to share your story online with like so many people watching because that’s not easy.

[@Cw-hj5mx]

Nina's brother went from wanting a sister, to never wanting to ever see his sister again. Going to college away from the environment would probably be the most relief he got. Regardless of her saying sorry, she should leave him alone and never talk to him again. Or at least change her demeanor to a kinder one with no expectations when she is interacting with him. Everytime he interacts with her, there will be the trauma triggers. He needs to rebuild himself. Hopefully he will find a way.

[@Nataliobrando5]

Idk about never talking to him again……. Wouldn’t that just cut it deeper? How old are u? Just asking lol

[@ketchupHuh]

Bro is unaware of the term “healing”

[@Cw-hj5mx]

@@Nataliobrando5 maybe, maybe not. The brother needs to do some internal work. He has to let go, and forgive. But it would be hard if Nina treats him in a harsh way just as before when they see each other. She has to treat him better and slowly expose him to kindness, but I doubt that she would because it looks pretty much ingrained in her of how she acts. I guess the sorry from the sister may help in the final stages of his internal work to heal himself.

[@agustinramirez377]

You assuming a lot brother, you dont even know the dude's face

[@REChronic54]

​@agustinramirez377 exactly. This person doesn't know what goes on between the brother and Nina's private relationship

[@MrThedr1975]

this was a really good video. i hope that speaking about all of this trauma has helped you all. i wish some of my friends from the past had opened up about things maybe they'd still be here today, people need to be more open about life and stop trying to mask stuff.

[@davidx.1504]

This vid was uncomfortable and sad, but I like how it humanizes our idols. I feel like its important that everyone realizes these funny and famous people are humans too, and they aren't perfect, and they've been through some dark times in life just like all of us.

[@bl00dykiddo]

Bro I just cried so hard watching this video, I didn't know I could relate to some of this stuff so much. Love you guys.

[@spicyhoufun]

this video was actually so healing for me, I went through my own traumas but I see that I am not alone in it, thanks Jimmy!

[@AlanSoulShow]

this was deep and so relatable. thank you for sharing and making this video

[@fouaxiong08]

This video for sure brought back so many trauma memories. Took me 29 years to get over that trauma and for sure, I am doing a lot better now. Still learning to overcome little bits and pieces but I’ve been able to overcome most of it.

[@ShadowRealmZ373]

Hugs to all y’all. Much respect and love to y’all. That line of the sin of being human hit different.

[@ChordCr4ft]

9:57 girl really said he got stomped on respectfully😂

[@ThisIsKio]

I wanna hug everyone in this video. I'm Filipino-Chinese, and I've been through crazy things from childhood up until now. I just keep gasping every second in the video.

[@LeBeautiful]

The title and then watching the video gon to have the people like: 📈📉📈📉📈

[@FATMANDD1]

You know what’s crazy the fact that they all opened up and talked about their trauma each and every person here has gone through something that should make them wildly crazy and different, but they’re all in front of us composed adults still dealing with it, understanding it, but also live in their lives. The ranking part of it I was looking at that like damn, but the honesty of seeing everyone here and hearing them talk, makes me understand their stories, more and love all these people as creators because they’re just regular individuals have gone through their own problems. It takes balls to open up in front of a camera and everyone else right here and talk about some personal shit like this. Everyone, he’s got some balls dead ass

[@z.s.7761]

I think her name is Nina... it's rare that someone admits to being an abuser. Definitely not praising you for admiting to it but no one can cast stones because many people are guilty of bad things. Since you know your shortcomings at least change for your brother and how you are with him. For instance, as an adult (39) I realized that when I hear a certain family member raise their voice from another room I get scared. I realized I must have had gotten this trauma after so many years since a child but just this year noticed myself getting scared. It messes with a persons mental. We just don't realise we have become numb to it and that's not healthy. Sometimes I wish I were apologized to. I became a person that was hurtful to others on occasion but later told myself it's my fault because I can change the way I act. I felt bad when I would sometimes say hurtful things. It reminded me of my trauma. I let go my ego and apologized. An apology without telling the person I was like this to you because this happened to me or I was hurtful because I didn't want you doing this. That is not something they need to hear. Just one that is sincere and confirmation it wouldn't happen again can mean so much to someone.

[@darude1420]

Thank you for opening up to each other and sharing it with us. Its such an insight and I can relate to a few of those situations whether they happened to me or people I know. As a son, the eldest brother and now a father it is amazing how this reminds me of all the different perspectives and stages growing up, especially how I was, who I am now and even how I can still further improve as a father and a friend to my children. Thank you! ❤

[@jaziray4621]

Nina I pray your brother saw this and truly understands you were a kid raising a kid. Prayers of healing for you and your brother.

[@AnEntiity]

Dude I just watched the previous video last night ready for this

[@ozanbirinci1654]

Dang, this eps really resonated with me to some degree and helped put things into perspective. We all go through our hardships in our own way. Think it's great to talk about it with friends / psychologists. Great vid, thank you. However, it didn't have to be ranked necessarily xD Also, idk if the 'Asian' tag was needed as well.

[@ethansou]

Khan's story is so sad. I just want to give bro a hug. I love his music and have been a fan since he first came on the channel 5 years ago when Jimmy was still in New York.

[@whocares897]

I’m surprised more people aren’t talking about it! His story was really messed up

[@aaditisurve3305]

I never knew how many people cut themselves or had family trauma until i watched you all open up bout it. Cuz the fact that what all we see on Insta is like a tip of the iceberg. Like that person could be around you and be all smiling and laughing while going through shit we would have no idea about. This really changed my perspective on how people are so much more than the way they present themselves to others. Be kind to everyone guys 💗

[@rentherial]

this made me cry so much, as someone whos growing up with asian parents right now, i relate alot to what they are going through, just like hearing it from others made me realize so much on how it impacts other/my life. its just so heartbreaking ❤️‍🩹 hope anybody who is going through with this knows they arent alone ..

[@katoeezz]

Thank you for this jimmy truly.... this meant so much to me to see and connect to.

[@CindyBlueWho]

I’m crying. My heart is sad. But so proud of these humans for being vulnerable and sharing their shadow moments. We all need love.

[@Emmy-l8z]

This video just really shows you never know what people have gone through in life and have experienced it’s crazy, Thank you for sharing this it takes real vulnerability to share trauma like this in private let alone on the internet

[@sadikshya8609]

Thank you guys for making this video. Really needed this one. Hope we all will get better someday and live out of the traumas. We will be a fine line.

[@Xoxo-Sara43]

Justin looks like he's about to cry in this video 💔

[@JJ-gl3qr]

19:20 Jimmy realising that hen should have done a background check on them right here lol

[@tatiabkk]

I am breaking my families generational trauma. We are Thai Chinese - American, living in Thailand. I have my own kids now and am the middle child out of 3 girls, was the scapegoat growing up. It becomes more clear when you have your own babies to protect. Going through the journey of having to accept how much so many grown ups in your family enabled abuse, is going to be long but important, especially when you realize what YOU would never let your own babies go through, how you would never treat them. Learning about which role you probably played in your family dynamic would be eye opening.. so many things click because Narcissistic Family dynamics are textbook. How siblings are pitted against each other is definitely one of them.

[@kirbiehollows4744]

For the whole video I was trying to figure out where i knew Fanfan from and i just realized she was in a video with Maya Higa at her animal rescue. I never would've imagined the things she talked about happening to her- even from the video I saw with her in it at the animal rescue, she seems like the sweetest and most loving human. The strength it takes to remain gentle after being treated so badly is truly incredible.

[@ehsansiam3123]

This was the best video Jimmy put out. At some point my eyes teared up as I could relate to a lot of there trauma.

[@DomoDolo]

Fanfan and Nina in the same video. Thanks Jimmy. Oof should have finished the video first lol

[@btw_eddie]

Trauma Olympics is sick work

[@bryanto5067]

i wanna give all yall a hug holy crap

[@avocadoesarenice4206]

This video is so raw and vulnerable I can’t stop crying. Kudos to all of them for opening up and trusting each other like that

[@ollythemollyy]

This video really connected with me, to be honest. Hearing Nina's story reminds me of my brother. He's like the "Nina" in my life. He doesn't physically hurt me, but he definitely tries to control me, which causes a lot of mental trauma. Growing up, my parents weren't financially stable, and my brother stepped into the father role (which I’m really grateful for). But being the "perfect kid" in my mother’s eyes has made his ego high, and the connection we once had is no longer there. I know he just wants me to succeed and do well in life, but I have to admit that I can’t be like him. I hope one day he realizes this or we get a chance to talk and free ourselves from the traumas we've been through. I know he's sacrificed so much of his life just to be the "good kid" and provide for us, while I feel like a disappointment in comparison. I got really emotional watching this, haha. Hope everyone has a nice day! :)