Joe Goldberg's In-Depth Analysis from YOU - Therapist Reviews

[@HeatherThomCounselling]

Want more analysis videos? Make sure to subscribe to this channel and drop any suggestions of shows or movies you'd like me to analyze in the comments below! 😊

[@JenM878]

Yes, please! I really enjoyed this video and the one about Love Quinn. Can you do an analysis about them as a couple? Also, why didn't he accept Love? She loved him for the real him, unlike the others.

[@HeatherThomCounselling]

Working on that video now, should be posted later this week 😊

[@JenM878]

@@HeatherThomCounselling omg! Tysm!! 😁

[@bzboi]

do dexter

[@mariec6272]

Please do videos about characters from Bojack Horseman and the two main characters from You're The Worst!

[@Crazylissee92]

I've also noticed that Joe doesn't have any friends

[@AnxietyRat]

Yup. He absolutely has no social circle.

[@ElizahMendoza]

What about Ethan?

[@loosecIit]

@@ElizahMendoza he was just a coworker

[@misojimo2154]

@@ElizahMendoza they worked together, but didn’t keep in touch when he moved. i don’t think joe considers him an actual friend

[@jennydelreal8267]

@@ElizahMendoza It seemed more like "friendship" through circumstance, kinda like how you stop being friends with people once you don't have a class together anymore. It would have been strange to not be friendly with him and Joe is noticeably irritated by ethan in his thoughts but he had to be friendly to uphold the appearance of the nice well adjusted guy

[@itseveary5756]

I like how season 3 showed way more about his past

[@valeriedanette3612]

yes !!

[@jacellavore4523]

Love your takes on both joe and love. I think we need more of these for guinevere beck. Sure she's "unspecial and mediocre" as Love had put it but there is a lot to unpack between her daddy issues and trauma.

[@HeatherThomCounselling]

Totally! I'll be talking a bit about Beck in my next YOU video! Hopefully I'll be posting it later this week, so please stay tuned 😊

[@sabinamohan2415]

Please also do the character of Peach as well in S1.

[@fatimaolumee4517]

I don’t think Beck was unspecial or mediocre at all. She was a talented writer who experienced writer’s block and a tonne of personal issues throughout most of Season 1. Her Bluebeard story right before she died was incredible and written while she was in a CAGE.

[@roseanneelliott3817]

​@@fatimaolumee4517I agree.

[@zoe.m.e.w]

He also might have OCD, his obsession being finding the “perfect” sole mate, and his compulsions being him stalking them.

[@sudburyshore]

just because you have obsessions or a compulsion doesn't mean you have OCD

[@F_NerdShark]

That’s an interesting idea :D

[@HorseNamedHotAir]

Thats not how ocd works

[@honeyxbees]

absolutely loved your take/analysis on Joe Goldberg especially using the season 3 content! Could you do one on Love if you aren’t already planning to? I’ve always been interested to see how she came to be how she is. Great video ❤️

[@HeatherThomCounselling]

Great suggestion! Yeah I can make one specifically for Love in the next few weeks! Stay tuned 😊

[@animalloverrr2000]

YAY thank u because literally no one has done one for love!!

[@erwinfelis4613]

I'm glad not to see the cliche overused/misunderstood labels of psychopath and narcissist applied to him. A lot of armchair Facebook psychologists overuse these terms and apply them to real life situations and people in their lives. People do terrible things sometimes, but that doesn't mean they do them for the reasons people think they do them for. Good analysis!

[@Robust-d7u]

People who use the terms psychopath or narcissist like that don't even know what the words mean.

[@tarfmuhsin7314]

Pretty accurate in my opinion, however you seemed to have missed some things as: Why does have obsession after obsession and when the woman (Love for example) loves him back he doesn't want her anymore? Personally, I think it is because when he sees the real them as a person and not more like an 'object' he doesn't want them anymore. He likes the chase and likes to romanticise the situation and put them in a certain box, when his views of that box seem unreal, he even hates them and sees them as the evil thing he was trying to protect them from. He likes to see them as 'innocent' and something to protect because they can't protect themselves. That's why he also kills for children such as Paco. This stems from the situation/relationship with his mom and the nurse. What do you think about this? Also, why doesn't he have any genuine friends? Maybe because he was bullied and now sees older boys/men as bullies and an evil thing to protect from. Maybe that's why he mostly kills men. And also because he never had any appropriate friends in his childhood, so he simply doesn't know how to form such a bond and what it would look like.

[@19Rena96]

Maybe the thing with love could have work longer (not for forever) if she hadn't murdered Delilah and Candace because every since then, Joe was disgusted by her and called her crazy lol. He forced himself into this marriage due to her being pregnant, but we all knew it wasn't gonna last since he had already moved on from her and lost interest in that specific moment he realized she was just as damaged as himself.

[@cicihouston6965]

I think he fell out of love with Love when she no longer needed his protection; in fact, she was "protecting" him. He was done with her after Delilah....ya know.

[@specialtwice4975]

Joe is a sociopath. The book "The sociopath next door" by Martha Stout will answer the questions you seek. Also check out Dr. Ramani's/Med circle sociopath/psychopath video on KZbin (2hrs long but very good) Cluster b or otherwise known as "personality disorders" are known to have struggles with interpersonal relationships which affects EVERY aspect of their lives (friends, lovers, marriages, bosses, co-workers, etc) This is why Joe does not have any close friends or family and never will. In my own words though, sociopaths/psychopaths are an anti-social species. They are what is called "non-society" by nature. It is somewhat in their DNA to be this way, however, like Joe, it can be nurtured too.

[@palmspirit1833]

As for friends: i think he actually doesn't form real social attachments to anybody. The women he loves, he doesn't actually love. He just develops an obsession with certain characteristics he ascribes to them. This explains why he gets disappointed by them, and why he kills them when it becomes clear that they simply don't fit the ideas he spent so long creating in his mind.

[@alecevison3336]

Splitting... He idealizes them as perfect and then when he gets close reality sets in, they're no longer perfect, they're just a normal person a mixture of good and bad, but he splits them into either all good or all bad, his perception is screwed up because of his childhood.

[@samsmith1395]

I don't think Joe is a sociopath, he is not impulsive. He's calculated and calm. Love on the other hand demosntrates major traits of sociopathy throughout the show as she commits acts of murder and violence without a plan leaving Joe to clean her messes.

[@helendiaz5440]

Ive kinda noticed that Loves friends would be better friends for him because they had more of a healing aspect about them, he didnt really criticizes them as much as Becks friends or the friends that Love makes in season 3. If he could meet the right people to become friends with, that could be be good for him. I see that he also doesn't truely see who his girlfriends really are. If he did he wouldn't try so hard to be in their life and be "the knight on a white hourse". I find it ironic. In Snow White and the seven dwarfs there is a theory that Snow Whit had actually died and that the Prince was actually Death showing himself as a trust worthy friend and taking her to heaven. The Prince road in a white horse and so does death. Joe doesnt need to be that. He has to let things happen naturally and stop controlling the situation that interferes with his plans when ever he can't get his way. This is life, we can't always get our ways. As for the break ups, the girls did take it too far but Joe doesnt need to over react. His first 2 girl friends did cheat on him and the right thing to do is actually talk it out and if his girlfriend refuses to talk about it, then he should consider letting her go. There is no relationship if its just one sided. Then there is Love, who is just as manipulative as Joe but worse. She is spoiled, narcissistic, overly protective of her brother. If she had to choose her boyfriend over her brother then im sure she would choose her brother. Yes I know that family is everything but if I have to babysit my brother like Love does then I would have no life. Joe should see that and he didn't. And she even tried to get Joe to kill for her in the 3rd season and he was trying to improve himself. I couldnt help feeling bad for the guy. But that doesnt mean I would let him get away with the bad things he has done. The correct guidance, love understanding and discipline is what he needed.

[@Safferpsyche]

Love makes you behave totally out of character...control of emotions is a superpower. The few times I've been unexplainably in love it's been a scary experience. Not being in control of emotions is the worst. Long term true love is a totally different thing to unexplainable obsessive love.

[@Diego-kl2ng]

Love the video and the analysis, keep it up!

[@sojournerrose7787]

I know everyone hates joe but I feel sympathy for both him and love. They both did bad things but I almost feel like they both want to be good… they just are really fucked up from their pasts. Also love deserved so much better than him

[@nurkio5087]

I have sympathy for Love. Joe reminds me to much of Ted Bundy. When he kills it’s like he becomes a different person, he becomes so evil and vile. He never atones for his sin. He literally killed the mother of his child framed her for murder just to start his cycle of obsession all over again. There’s no telling how many women Joe might hurt because it all depends on how they respond to him. Joe in season 3 made all my sympathy for him vanish.

[@clared5812]

@@nurkio5087 Love would have done the same if she was the one who survived. Maybe even more people because she’s so impulsive. She literally stalked and obsessed over joe the exact same way he did to her (and other women). You can’t have sympathy for one without having it for the other, they are cut from the same cloth. The only difference is that Joe happened to win their last fight.

[@misojimo2154]

me too, i have a lot of sympathy for them. maybe i shouldn’t have that much sympathy but honestly i just get saddened seeing the effect of people’s past trauma on them. i also see that they (espeically joe in season 3) want to be better. joe kept wanting to be better; at first it was for Love (“i want to be a man who deserves you” something along those lines) and then for henry (“i will become a man you’re proud to call dad”.) he and love both kept saying “okay this won’t happen again” after each murder. they just couldn’t stop, because it’s not that easy to stop. i hope joe gets a good therapist that will help him at least start to unpack some of that trauma. honestly, i want him to redeem himself.

[@niademiogundana24]

Season 4 gave me literal goosebumps

[@palomavm815]

I love your analysis videos! I'm really curious about what you think of Joe in season 4!

[@mariec6272]

Great analysis!

[@HodajuciParadoks]

What about his hallucinations? They happen more and more in later seasons

[@alishasrishtee9116]

Joe has mommy issues.

[@jimin1800]

damn ive only watched the first four episodes. The amount of spoilers ive just got.. i probably don't even need to watch anymore lmao

[@HeatherThomCounselling]

Lol sorry 😂or... you're welcome because I saved you so much time? Although I still recommend watching the series especially before season 4 comes out!

[@uglyrobot1975]

It’s worth the watch. Sure, its tags are like “phycological thriller” and “horror” but I firmly believe that show is a comedy and mostly consists of social commentary

[@nomahlubigumede]

Well all this will come in handy for some of my Psyc assignments, thank you💗

[@mig2cool982]

This was a crazy show to watch. Um.. very unfortunate to say the least. It helped me understand the abandonment part tho. My Mom was in and out of my life growing up and people have always been over critical of me so yea I guess it got me feeling like if someone saw the real me they would leave.

[@jfrmdagee]

i feel you bro

[@entertaining6860]

That's so good, I'm so cratful this video popped up to me. I really love psychology!!

[@Kurucnik]

Also would say BPD, the fear of rejection and damnation.

[@saharaofthedeep]

Joe is addicted to limerence which he uses to self regulate due to having unmet needs for love and connection. He has a dismissive avoidant attachment style. He believes he will not be understood by anyone who he reveals his true self to so he spends most his days in almost total isolation. Hes disconnected from himself and his emotions which results in a flat emotional affect and a calm demeanor in highly tense situations. He uses books as an escape, and he also escapes by living in a vivid fantasy world with girls he projects his desires onto where his needs are actually getting met. His relationship with love didnt work out for 2 reasons. 1, he cannot express his needs as he denies having them at all. He says repeatedly to himself that if hes unhappy he is wrong. 2, hes addicted to escaping from reality through fantasizing about people who are still not known completely and therefore can be rewritten as a perfect person in his head.

[@JackOfAllTrades0404]

Do one on Villanelle please!

[@AmberWoodMusicx]

Would love this

[@palmspirit1833]

I'm currently in season 2. So far, I suspect ASPD, BPD and OCD.

[@jasminemoonwolf1335]

I also believe this to

[@sarabayfromParis]

I say a touch of erotomanie and sociopathy and little ocd with little zip of fear of abandon and codependency

[@collectionbotanica]

Yeah no. He care WAY too much for someone with aspd.

[@lunaxxx674]

Why ocd?

[@erinj.4291]

@@lunaxxx674 Probably because of his obsessive tendencies, but the way Joe obsesses is very different from the way people with OCD obsess. The thing about OCD is that people with this disorder (myself included) realize there’s a problem, and it’s something that is quite distressing and aggravating to us. Joe, on the other hand, doesn’t think he has a problem. He loves obsessing about these women, because he has a very delusional concept of love, and he lives for the chase. If anything, I would say that his obsessions are a bit more on par with OCPD, as opposed to OCD, just because of that fact that he doesn’t believe he has a problem...but even that, I’m not so sure of.

[@tofu8688]

@@collectionbotanica That's not necessarily true. Antisocial Personality Disorder certainly limits one's pro-social emotions (Emotions such as empathy and sympathy), but doesn't mean that they cannot form meaningful relationships with individuals.

[@growupanushka]

Loved this!

[@mehmeh6105]

THANK YOU

[@yuk1r0_33]

Couldn’t he also have quiet bpd or smth like that?

[@softlife45]

He's a sloppy killer in my opinion

[@uglyrobot1975]

He kills impulsively a lot more than people make it seem

[@cyb3rstalker]

obviously not if the police haven’t catches him yet. lmaoaoaoa 😭

[@oratiletsimatsima9643]

Love was sloppy.

[@melilol2796]

But if Joe is Sociopath how does he care for people? Aren't sociopaths supposed to not care about poeple🤔

[@vanessamarlene4579]

I feel that goes for more of a pyschopath a sociopath has manipulative tendencies to get what they want to grab you and keep you so they put a persona of “caring” I learned recently…

[@vanessamarlene4579]

Also sociopaths are made thru trauma & usually most psychopaths are born that way

[@thematthedral9304]

There’s always either an ulterior motive or it’s his desperate attempt to feel like he’s a “good” person.

[@midnight687]

you re right, he s unrealistic

[@clared5812]

Some people with ASPD can be overly protective of their “favourite person”. It’s not true empathy, it’s their desire to keep control over the person who is meeting their needs in some way.

[@bellarose1562]

Pretty solid, agree :)

[@roseanneelliott3817]

In all honesty, his Mother was horrible. She neglected him and treated him badly.

[@brodythegoat03]

review dexter morgan

[@itseveary5756]

I think Love is still more annoying and dangerous than Joe

[@clared5812]

I agree. I hated her in season three. She was so obnoxious and entitled

[@reikun86]

@@clared5812 Also kinda dumb in certain situations. She wouldn’t have gotten far if there wasn’t somebody to clean up her messes.

[@juliedd57]

That's because she is very impulsive.

[@mariegricourt6865]

@@reikun86 she clearly have BPD that’s why.

[@sh3nyan]

heh, this is interesting but joe would absolutely hate you for this ;)

[@jamesmitchell9872]

Holy shit

[@Clarity0yx]

Borderline with very bad background working like that

[@ElegyVio]

Jesus Christ is the truth reach out

[@ElegyVio]

Jesus Christ is the truth reach out if you ever feel empty or like you have nothing left, he’ll accept you no matter who you are or what you’ve done

[@MsRed-dr4pn]

Please analyze 50 shades of grey