Live at The Apollo 2014 | Joe Lycett

[@musiciansteve7785]

Joe’s voice should be an option for Siri

[@nancypalumbo8836]

"Hey Siri, what's the weather to-" "I'm not a homosexual!"

[@nebelungpixie9373]

YES !!!

[@orange9107]

YES - I would pay a scary amount

[@ItsMeSami]

YES! NOW!

[@wisteela]

Even better: For Google or Amazon devices

[@Saltywinterchild]

I love how Joe carries himself like a middle aged mom 😆

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

Joe takes his natural "Karen" energy with him throughout life, repurposes it as the frustration with petty bureaucracy we all feel, gives full vent to it often and I am here living for it.

[@pip-pip5029]

Legend

[@MahouKat]

If Karens weren't busy berating sixteen year olds in customer service and ethnic minorities just existing, they would be a formidable enemy 💀 (Obvs not talking about Joe there)

[@Emma88178]

For him it would be Kyle

[@angemaidment5640]

Everyone has an inner Karen. The difference is how she manifests 🤣🤣🤣

[@katietoole8345]

The way he describes people is the best..."A bit of wet scrambled egg in a chair." It doesn't mean anything, but you know EXACTLY what it mean.

[@laestrella9727]

Like someone constantly pissing into a hot tub and getting away with it ahaha

[@EagleScout2019]

“I’m bisexual so you’re all at risk” As a bisexual man myself, this is my new catch phrase

[@politemenace5781]

Yep, I'm going to be using that from now on. Too often people go "oh, are you gay?" No, I'm bisexual, none of you is safe. RUN.

[@gwinniboots]

😂

[@joshyoung1440]

I'm just assuming your username reflects you accurately, and I also am an eagle scout who later came out, but I was in scouts when it wasn't okay to be gay. I was "straight" back then anyways lmfao

[@yuki97kira]

*awkwardly wink at anyone whos bi... In hopes of one would be interested in me*

[@joshyoung1440]

@@yuki97kira depends if you're into Americans lmfao. I'm American and I'M hardly into Americans 🤣

[@shelboyyy]

I will never not re-watch Joe’s stand up

[@lilyhargreeves4374]

I messed up the likes, sorry. They used to be at 111 But I agree

[@shelboyyy]

@@lilyhargreeves4374 😂😂😂

[@lilyhargreeves4374]

@@shelboyyy i ruined it

[@eta2670]

Yup, I saw it in my recommended, and yeah it’s been a while x)

[@BeauKillaB]

I have lost count of the amount of times I’ve watched this.

[@mariperez8337]

Joe really is an absolute lad

[@jak7826]

*Choking seal noise*

[@fayesummerill5100]

OI OI

[@lilyhargreeves4374]

Oi oi oi

[@fleuelise1852]

More like uwi uwi!! ( Sorry i dont know how to spell it)

[@Worm.soup666]

Chaotic good karen

[@shineepinee6761]

"I was just backstage having a lager and... punching a woman" one of my favourite lines XD

[@maddiewood2486]

omg stream atlantis !!

[@jjb4531]

@RestWithin get over it

[@lisahenry20]

​@RestWithin it's funny because it's punching up not down. It's making fun of people who punch others, not the people who get punched.

[@portaldolphin13]

shinee!

[@kavyareddy8711]

I like how he is constantly and aggressively hitting on that dude in the front row🤣

[@supersexygal01]

What was extremely offensive about it was they didn’t show the poor guys face whenever he did it so we could see his reaction immediately.

[@tubalooney]

@@supersexygal01 because he wasn’t there….

[@BobGymlan]

This guy is literally how I’ve always imagined my cat speaking. And my cat is a she.

[@susie9893]

Simon's cat

[@sarahc643]

😂

[@BarterTom]

I was just watching a Ricky Gervais video and I thought you meant him lol.

[@Dizz2K7]

That says more about you than either him or the cat.

[@BobGymlan]

@@Dizz2K7 that is very true.

[@lstarbuck20]

I love how he comes out and literally just owns it from start to finish! Literally a laugh almost every second

[@trustmeimaphysiologist]

"A boomerang with psoriasis" might be my favourite line ever.

[@plebontheweb]

I never get bored of this set

[@evangeline819]

‘i saw a ghost in morrisons’ has to be my favourite line ever 😂

[@belamoure]

I never tire of listening to Joe he is a complete show voice, walking steps fleeting hands, walrus ring, name it. refreshing facts of daily life, based on true devastating observations.

[@renfcook]

no joke, last night i was lying in bed in the dark and I just thought of Joe saying "i saw a ghost at the end of my bed... i saw a ghost in morrisons"

[@rikux27]

I must have watched this set no fewer than 100 times and it's still just as funny as the first time.

[@Loctorak]

"Kill them" was and remains one of my favourite punchlines of all time - first time I heard it I was like "😲 WOW that's a brave joke" and its hilarious when you consider the social context at the time. Definitely this set is what made me sit up and take notice of Joe as a comedian- amazing stuff 👏

[@amynicholson9993]

now i'm just picturing joe wandering the streets asking if anyone wants a cookie haha

[@sooverthis6941]

I feel like that could be a segment on Task Master.

[@niseplank4527]

I've done that. Doesn't go over with the normal folk.

[@lenagreen4031]

I could listen - watch this wonderful comedian forever - he is so funny and unique, just makes me feel that whatever life throws at you its never so bad.

[@cookieemunster]

I've watched this apollo gig a few times but I've never heard the babbie to Abu Dhabi & the 14 second fart bit. They must have cut it. 🤣😂🤣😂

[@rboekholt]

I noticed that too!

[@BrianThrives]

Oh yeah! Now that you mention it...

[@loopstationyt]

I didn’t even notice until now 🤯

[@watermelonsandal4206]

I'd never seen either of them before so of course they killed me.

[@jul30ie]

Yes!! Me too, I laughed so hard.

[@thehangmansdaughter1120]

Years ago my late father and I were accosted outside a restaurant by two lads, whom I threatened to spank. They ran, and Dad laughed so hard I thought he was having a stroke.

[@maecarpenter69]

😂 😂 😂

[@sampunnett2131]

Omg that made my day!

[@carolynworthington8996]

Fantastic story!

[@lonewolfheart1697]

How does Joe not have a million subscribers?! Absolute comedy gold!!

[@paulinemoriarty552]

I first saw joe on great British sewing bee, now I found him here, joy, joy, joy

[@steveb1972]

I’ve seen this clip so many times, but I still end up crying with laughter! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@SomeOne-pg2js]

8:13 "You had the perfect alibi. Where were you when the murder happened? I was in Leeds!" hahaha this is brilliant xD Edit: because I loved the bit so much I actually calculated how fast he would have to be to travel 120 miles in 8 minutes - it's 900mph (or 1448km/h). The speed of sound is 767mph or 1235km/h. So he actually would have to break the speed of sound to make that possible xD

[@AekoTheWolf]

People like you are why I read comments. I wanted this kind of info! thank you!

[@SomeOne-pg2js]

@@AekoTheWolf Hahaha you're welcome :D

[@laestrella9727]

Yeah.. I'm sure he did his research...

[@Chimera_Photography]

*Myth-Confirmed!*

[@SomeOne-pg2js]

@@laestrella9727 yeah, I just thought it was something you say to emphasise how ridiculous a situation is. "I would have had to break the speed of sound, Sharon" sounds to me like "I ate a billion hot dogs today" :D

[@johnmurkwater1064]

Joe always cracks me up, I first saw him on 8 out of 10 cats and completely lost it at some little quip he made, I don't even remember what it was, but after that I will sit down and watch anything I see him in.

[@rebeccagoldscheid3746]

Have you seen him in Taskmaster? Brilliant.

[@duderyandude9515]

7:33 I did the maths and he actually would have had to break the speed of sound.

[@maecarpenter69]

Yes

[@oscargr_]

And that isn't a problem.

[@trockodile]

Just popped in for my daily dose of Lycett, a much needed antidote to the world at large! Thank you. 💜

[@ItsMeSami]

I cannot put into words how much I adore you, Mummy...haha You’re just the absolute best.

[@jwsuicides8095]

On parking insanities: I parked entirely legally and came back to see a policeman putting a parking ticket on my car. I pointed out I was parking legally and he said that the council had decided to change the rulings...the road markings hadn't been changed though...I got exempted from the fine...soon afterwards I saw the police park illegally on he same road so that they could collect their Chinese takeaway.

[@Talana477]

He's a true child of chaos ❤

[@flumbz5266]

This guy is in the most simplest way possible to say it is.. awesome.

[@scottyd2262]

I only found out about Joe 3 days ago. So I've been binge watching everything that he's done. I've never LOL'd so much in the past 3 days. Hardly anyone in Australia knows about him... Which is a shame

[@anushka_bananushka]

😂 what are you talking about? All his sold out shows in Australia know him. I hope you went to his show this year, it was THE BEST!!

[@scottyd2262]

@@anushka_bananushka I wish that I did! I didn't even know that he was touring... Well thanks sucks to hear that I missed it.....

[@Mic181267]

Whenever i get down and need a laugh i always head to one of Joe Lycett's routines. Fantastic guy. Would love to meet him.

[@Rose-ry6gm]

Omg same

[@JohnSmithShields]

Possibly the greatest "kill them" joke since Armstrong and Miller.

[@joshyoung1440]

I sincerely hope the "walrus says you can piss off" line was real

[@jordananniej]

Joe if You’re reading this you make this small Canadian very happy

[@JulieWallis1963]

I have met him and he is truly adorable in real life. I told him my daughter is totally in love with him, so he made a short film on my phone wishing her a happy Christmas. I’ll never not love him! My husband follows him on SM and got invited to try for tickets to the ‘opening of joes new kitchen’ .... A long story, but if you want I’ll tell you the short version . Joe wanted to invite the mayor to open his new kitchen, but he had to make it a public event to get the mayor. It made local news, anyway we never bagged tickets to this exclusive event.

[@charlottem.1477]

And another Canadian. Possibly not as small but that’s no matter, lol.

[@georgiewalker1069]

Thanks for showing this ... I think I have watched it 10 times. My absolute favourite funny guy! Woohoo! Best regards from South Africa 🇿🇦💫🐘

[@Cludnugget]

To be fair, if you're going to spend your afterlife haunting a supermarket why would you choose a Morrisons? Surely all the grocery ghosts are at Waitrose..?

[@Martyn1999]

@@prva9347 I love you for this comment 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@danniq4278]

@@prva9347 😂🤣😂🤣

[@maecarpenter69]

Definitely! But why not just haunt the Rheinland for their wines?

[@sampunnett2131]

Knowing my luck I'll end up in bloody Lydls or Aldis.

[@Simon1985_]

@@sampunnett2131 often the Prosecco at Aldi is better than the one in Waitrose. Follow your own path.

[@3ch1dna07]

Laughing so hard that I couldn't catch my breath! I nearly choked on my own saliva once I took a breath. I tell my husband that hippos are my spirit animal because they look so fat and docile but kill more people than lions every year.

[@aliconnolly]

Hippos are the best for not taking any shit. There's a vid of one who saves a gazelle (I think) from hyenas. And because the gazelle causes the hyenas to stay around the hippo thrashes the gazelle and kills it. They're like "don't be annoying me".

[@roseatkins7565]

They need yo be appeased with chocolate

[@ruthrichardson9717]

…. So you kill people? 😰

[@3ch1dna07]

@@ruthrichardson9717 So many times I want to but am afraid that I will start to run out of places to hide the bodies. Just kidding. But the urge is strong when I meet a stupid person IRL.

[@TallSilentGuy]

The reason hippos kill more people than lions every year is only because they hardly ever kill lions.

[@vivienneoneill5400]

I love his voice, and he is so funny ❤❤😂

[@uchster9]

Seen this in it’s entirety and I’m watching it again.

[@garethbull5303]

He was gold ten years ago and still is.

[@sebastianboeddinghaus3505]

"I was just backstage having a Larger and punching a woman I don't know"

[@mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm4663]

“I found this ring online by chance, after searching 4 hours for one”

[@booknerd4303]

Joe is what happens when Karen energy is repurposed for good, chaotic good but good

[@CoveNeedsSpoons]

I live for how snarky, trolly he is and his delivery!

[@superdrwholock]

Joe Lycett, James Acaster, Drew Lynch and Bo Burnham are the best comedians atm imo

[@watermelonsandal4206]

Just what I needed tonight - thanks for uploading!

[@michellepetersen5121]

Inner voice “Kick that toddler”🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@danielbloresingersongwriter]

I met him in kingsheath in Brum a few months ago. Nice guy. Hilarious

[@angemaidment5640]

“That’s the weirdest imagery I’ve ever heard”. It’s a close second to “a bit of wet scrambled egg in a chair”, for me 🤣🤣🤣

[@RPGLover87]

joe, I think we all know what Subway girl did - she successfully upsold you an unwanted cookie and manipulated you into getting one that wasn't even part of the deal and so didn't save you any money anywy. I think YOU got lycetted by HER. She won that confrontation.

[@Owen.Fallon]

SUBWAY GIRL ALWAYS WINS

[@kentbrooks3227]

You've got a new fan! This was absolutely HILARIOUS!!! All the best to you.

[@bubblegum8959]

"Where were you when the murder happened" I am dead

[@successfulpsychology4393]

I cried laughing watching this. You’re amazing Joe.

[@PaisleyParkGirl]

This man is a comedy genius. Always has me creased up laughing! 😂🤣

[@marilynmcdonald9962]

As a Brummie I want that accent lol. Seriously he's such a funny guy. His diction is perfect too. Love him

[@Andrewoll68]

Thanks for that. He's hilarious. 🤣

[@shealaghcynfal5397]

So....... this lass out smarted you 🤣🤣🤣🤣not only did she get you to take the cookie! She also got you to pay extra too! Genius 😎

[@thisdjchick]

This guy looks like Hugo Boss.

[@lilywaite-wright2256]

Walrus says u can piss off 🤣

[@gangstamum]

Love the boomerang with psoriasis lol

[@MaxineAndrew]

Literally eating a Subway meal as I'm watching this... xD

[@ms.t7614]

I have to ask…. Did you get a cookie? 😂

[@pixle500]

2:48 the way he looks back to see if they were keen or not!!! :D

[@JosiahGould]

Joe has very quickly become one of my favorite comedians. I do wish I could see him, but being in the US I doubt I'll get a tour any time soon... But if he ever does come to the states I'd be sure to give him a great time. Just look me up Joe.

[@futuristica1710]

Joe is a gem! ❤ Greetings from 🇩🇰

[@rw6391]

I'm a brummie.. wasn't born better 😂

[@benfarmer-webb1016]

"Nobody ever goes I saw a ghost in Morrisons" Probably because that would involve people being in Morrisons

[@oobjoob5169]

That entrance was legendary tho 😂

[@emilymcfarlane2391]

genuinely my friend saw a ghost in Specsavers! the irony isn't lost on me haha

[@skzchaos]

Hilarious. Also for anyone wondering he would have to travel 888 mph to get from Leeds to Birmingham.

[@saggytittus5205]

Omg thanks 👍🙏

[@lazilexi]

Oh, lovely! Hello!

[@Asracloud]

L your here too?!

[@lazilexi]

@@Asracloud Hisoka?!? Damn, you still got that thing for kids or what?

[@Asracloud]

@@lazilexi nah I have illumi now

[@lazilexi]

@@Asracloud k, cool

[@FredericaFazbear]

Doing well? Wonderful!

[@stuartkseels]

Mr. Joe. You are bloody hilarious!!!

[@jaynhawk2724]

I just love Joe Lycett.

[@kellie5476]

I can definitely relate to the accent thing, I was born in Leeds but you'd never realise as I also know better and if you need me to complain to the Leeds office for You, just let me know. 😁

[@debradavitt5457]

A pint of wife beater! Stella night 🤣🤣🤣✌️

[@amynicholson9993]

drinking larger and punching women.. seems pretty accurate to me haha

[@JulieWallis1963]

Ha! I have a daughter called Amy Nicholson. She’s getting married soon and will soon be someone else 🤫

[@MarleyBu]

Love Joe, wish he was still on the Sewing Bee. 😊

[@FoxFire4125]

"I never had the accent, I was born better" 😂 I came here specifically to see him slag off the Black Country, I've lost my accent now and it's hilarious to watch

[@Saraseeksthompson0211]

I can’t believe it was 10 years ago he was already doing comedy!!!

[@profhortsunlover1536]

speaking of ghosts in Morrisons, i just found out my neighbour died suddenly, and his body wasn't discovered for 3 days, neighbours got worried and raised the alarm, fell in bath or heart attack, and yesterday, of all the docs i could have watched, i chose to rewatch a doc on Joyce Carol Vincent who lay dead 2 years, 1 month, before being discovered, a skeleton surrounded by christmas presents as if the universe was trying to let me know i was feet away from a corpse...weird huh i never got to ask him how he felt about queen elizabeth passing, we always had good chats, rip

[@RealBradMiller]

Aww, RIP neighbor! I am going to look into that documentary later, though... 😛

[@MsGnor]

@profhortsunlover1536 RIP your neighbour, sorry for your loss. In the documentary JCV is discovered "surrounded by Xmas prezzies", perhaps this was a reassuring message from your neighbour saying he's safely in Heaven, probs having tea with Her Majesty! Just my thoughts, Happy Xmas 🎁💝🎄

[@angelakeane4987]

Hilarious 😂love joe also has me in stitches.

[@christineparsons2384]

Never heard of this chap, refreshing to hear a comedian who doesn't need to resort to constantly the using the f word to get a laugh. Great commedian.

[@davelangford2439]

An absolute national treasure

[@RIXRADvidz]

oh good, Walrus. !!

[@JeffreySinghMedia]

Been a while since a comedian made me laugh out loud. Well done Joe 👍🏽

[@gc2009able]

The pettiness, it's glorious.

[@Lifewithdotdotdotdot]

I’ll give you $20 in cold hard cash to come to the United States

[@s_nunyabiznez]

I’ll chip in!

[@BrianThrives]

Make it 20 British pounds to sweeten the deal...

[@Diviance]

If your cash is cold and hard, you might want to stop storing it in the freezer.

[@charlottebest7023]

That’s only £14:55

[@AR-iu9jv]

@Brad Miller How Big is the paper clip?

[@DSGodiva]

I legit want to see the whole "Leeds murder" turned into a film. Is it a horror? Is it a comedy? Who knows!

[@MsGnor]

@DSGodiva me thinks it's a Blackadder 😂🐍

[@jean-francoisdaignault9612]

"This is my voice, this is actually happening, don't worry..."

[@moymo6125]

Why did I know he was gonna say I saw a ghost in Morrison’s 😂

[@stephanieseahorse7931]

Erm the title is a give away

[@markyh88]

Me and Joe are the same age I always wish we went to the same school I think he'd be a cracking friend to have. Laugh a minute

[@aberteau2]

He’s... he’s wearing a different shirt

[@erintraylor6794]

Pen on a string, wet scrambled egg, so many parts of this are just unbelievably funny.

[@davidplenderleith4176]

Love his style, pure class.

[@n.m.2174]

Joe is hilarious. Greetings from 🇺🇸.

[@BMX-retex14]

Wet scrambled egg 🥚 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@noctuaryfahy1509]

8:48 my dad used to take me too subway before I stopped seeing him lmao

[@johnwhitcombe4522]

In my opinion one of the best out there... Actually funny