John Gray - Beyond Mars and Venus - How to get more from Relationships

nlightningartz...
John Gray's 2017 talk 2 during the "A Journey of Love" Beyond Words Cruise.
Filmed and Edited by Fritz Heede and Nijole Sparkis
Music - Fritz Heede (from Illuminated Manuscripts)
NLightning artZ Productions
Property of Beyond Words Publishing presented here as an example of NLightning artZ production skills.

[@annettefluit3496]

I am going through Dr. John Gray's videos and I'm gaining so much understanding now.

[@anacod9114]

Appreciate Video! Excuse me for butting in, I would appreciate your opinion. Have you heard about - Lammywalness Beautiful Marriage Guide (should be on google have a look)? It is a smashing exclusive product for learning how to find a husband without the hard work. Ive heard some awesome things about it and my GF finally got cool success with it.

[@caroldearcos1043]

Annette Fluit i

[@MusicSpounge]

Me too

[@kitkat129]

Same ! It's changing my relationship completely

[@alaalfa8839]

No sex - decreases testosteron, too much sex or watching porn - decreases testosterone. enough sleep, watching football increases testosteron. because men are siungle -focused. Women are multi-tasking. It would be interesting if The biggest Don Juans would be "a feminine men"... because no smoking, less drinking and enough sleep, increases testosteron. Testosteron, makes man to be calm, and focus better on goals. which mean Don Juans have no goals, no sleep, and less testosterone.

[@Stella-kx3lt]

This is so good so informing. Thank you so much Dr John Gray!!!

[@LoveMoneySecretsTV]

This is a super valuable power packed 1hr 33 minutes of hands on how to between men and women. I read men are from mars women are from Venus when it first came out, I wish I would have known this info to. I'm glad I found It now. John Gray this is brilliant information, I love how you tie in the mechanics of how our communication and behavior gives an end resulting in the rise or fall of our hormones and how we compliment each other and how to do it mindfully despite our societal conditioning. This is brilliant! I'd love to have you on my show Love&MoneySecretsTV.

[@alaalfa8839]

Do meditation, you dont have to fix other partner, if both practice meditation and metacognition. Metacognition is about observing thoughts, feelings, actions, and also observing ptrogress.

[@BboyGraphicx]

This video is intensely insightful and very much helpful

[@hrealthyfoods6032]

I love Dr. Gray nd ALL of his books, even the some of the weird ones. He can get a little off topic but always comes back to the real teachings. I am so happy to hear he has remarried after his wife died. He married Lin Wang on May 4, 2020. She was long time translator and tour guide in China. I am also married to a younger woman from China. My wife is 28 years younger. John's wife is 30 years younger than him. I hope his next book will discuss this age difference and the cultural difference he has learned.

[@Gigi-Anai8c7l]

gross she must need your USA passport and financial security she'll have to become your nurse soon, you old fart it says a lot about you that you married a woman 30 years younger, and desperate for your passport and money so a normal woman not needing your passport wouldn't marry you because you have nothing to offer. You didn't even wotk to earn you nationality, it was given to you by chance...what a loser you are you are absolutely disgusting hopefully you have decent hygiene and you shower off the repugnant old man scent ...yikes!

[@nathalie5238]

Love it! Just bought 2 books... can’t wait to read them

[@ginacarroll8630]

@ 50:30... So a man needs to pull away after sex. We are supposed to allow that without taking it personally so he gets what he needs. Meanwhile, the woman needs cuddling and closeness. So she is left not getting what she needs in order to give the man what he needs in that moment. Am I getting this right?

[@klynn1009]

Gina Carroll this is confusing me as well. When my s.o. retreats to his man cave I feel unwanted. Consequently I’ve been solo camping frequently to get away from feeling unloved. As a result, his retreating doesn’t hurt my feelings anymore I’ve just lost interest in him altogether.

[@jenA8609]

Meanwhile our oestrogen elevates, his testosterone decreases. Causes disconnections.

[@vitaliysheva3568]

It's interesting how almost all of the comments to this video are from women. That should tell you something right there. From a male perspective, John is correct that after orgasm a man loses SEXUAL interest in the woman due to testosterone going down. However, it doesn't mean he has to run away (or roll over and fall asleep) immediately. If he cares at all about the woman, he will gladly embrace her, hold her and let her fall asleep on his chest surrounded by his strong arms. He can rebuild his testosterones in the morning by chopping some wood. The challenge for women is finding a man that understands this and lives it. A man that would actually watch this video.

[@veronicafior2714]

Sex is enjoyable for both , you’re not giving him anything that he’s not giving you . You shouldn’t have sex just to please a man

[@Gigi-Anai8c7l]

a man should last at least 30 min with a hard erection, give her several orgasms before he climaxes. it's not 1 climax for him and we remain unsatisfied For that he must stop watching p0rn and drop all other addictions (to videogames, weed, drugs, gambling, etc). And we must speak up, we give after we are given, not before, especially in sex. This is why it's paramount to not chase the guy during the dating stage and not do all the work and not having sex with him until after marriage, so he earns it and he's eager to please. Otherwise they get lazy quickly and we feel we have given so much and not received in return.

[@rosejacks8662]

Thank you, great info for couples.

[@TheMattJacks]

When a man climaxes, it's like all sexual desire and connectivity is just shut off. We get extremely tired and somehow desire space. I know Women need the cuddling and closeness after and feel used if that is not given. At the beginning of relationships, men are totally capable of cuddling and affection after the climax, so it must just be a reduction in respect and care that gets worse over time. Men: Cuddle your woman after she has agreed to have sex with your primitive asses. Its called effort. Not easy sometimes, but try anyways.

[@Gigi-Anai8c7l]

a man should last at least 30 min with a hard erection, give her several orgasms before he climaxes. For that he must stop watching p0rn and drop all other addictions (to videogames, weed, drugs, gambling, etc). Men today can do neither of the above

[@vivienrhodes4248]

Oh that's so funny I teach people to hug and relax into it

[@seemeup8]

I want to be a wife someday but while im not yet merry to someone,i keep on searching and studying about Man,... #thank you Sir Jhon Gray for ur wisdom,..im so excited to read ur books soon...

[@YogawithAliBeale]

As a single woman I really enjoy his work. I learn so much about myself and how to understand how to live in a healthy relationship. Although at 42 I am losing hope 😂

[@Gigi-Anai8c7l]

how dating and marriage have been going?

[@joonambeauty3161]

Amazing video!!!

[@Gigi-Anai8c7l]

every time I watch this video it baffles me how John's wife talks back at him in public in front of everyone in his own presentation, denying what he was saying, it's such a put down...then to save face he mentioned "I'm not bothered by what she said" and followed by a mental gymnastics statement was this woman like that all the time?

[@nathalie5238]

Don’t know if I’ll get an answer but still shoot it here: In nowadays society both men and women have stress, both working quite hard. He needs space to lower his stress by rebuilding his testosteron. She needs connection to lower her stress building up her oxytocin. How do you combine this? I notice I have tendency to leave my man in his cave, but internally building up some resentment towards him cause I feel left alone with my stress, that even builds up... How can we come with that??? Should I bargain? Tell him I leave him alone but request connection, huggs after 30 min in his cave? Sometimes really frustrating. When coming home he needs to go in his cave... still diner has to be prepared, I am still in my “testosteron” mode.

[@lynettewilliams2379]

John teaches when you're frustrated, and feeling resentment. You have to go do what makes you happy. Remember the 90/10 he's not responsible for your happiness Preferably before you get to that point of frustration and resentment.. don't complain about him TO him.. find a girlfriend so you can raise your oxytocin. . If it helps any I feel you

[@teresitaramirez9628]

*Could a part time job help you? *training him to clean after you cook *cook ahead once and /or partially for the working days but still leave things undone and possibly hug him and tell him you also need some me time or the honey to do list. *go to your own cave too if necessary. If he asks, what's for dinner? Oh let's go I'll prepare x and you y. Wish you success

[@nathalie5238]

Lynette Williams ow yes I get this. ‘Do what makes you happy’ If I did, well there wouldn’t be dinner on the table at night and the house would be a mess! I mean, I do have a stressful fulltime job, like he does! Yet when I come home, I have my second job waiting for me... mom/wife/cleaninglady... I would like to just sit in the couch and read a book or call a friend or go to the gym.... go into my ‘woman cave’ I think though there is some man (my man) that wouldn’t be happy to come home in a messy house and no food on the table. I could give it a shot, I can assure you he would be pissed! Yes emancipation is a big issue nowadays, our natural needs are hardly met.

[@nathalie5238]

Teresita Ramirez I do have a fulltime job and luckally do sports once a week. To manage to have free time for my hobby, I do more on the other week days. I would like to be able to go in my ‘cave aswel’ sometimes to just read a book or call a friend to rebuild my hormonal levels, though do you think he’ll be happy to get back in a messy home, Novgorod on the table and crying kids? Nope. My big frustration is that men go to work, have stress and need their ME-time. Still want a tidy home, dinner and a smiling wife. Women go to work, have stress aswel, take care of the home the dinner the kids and are supposed to be happy and smiling. What about our ME-time? When are we supposed to get that? In the middle of the night after our lovely husband expected us to make love with passion, while we were left with our testosteron built up in our body? And yeah I wasn’t that passionate while having sex, I was exhausted and felt alone when he was in his cave rebuilding his testosteron. And so it became the clash of testosteron and we separated 😣

[@annettefluit3496]

I see where you are coming from and it's quite understandable. I find that giving him space and respecting that time will allow him more energy for you. I find that talking it out without expectation and omitting certain words like should (they hear their mother 😊) and asking first if he would be open to talking about it or when would he have time is a huge respect factor. Once he receives that, he may be more open to talking. Talking right after work isn't beneficial. I find also that talking while doing other things is a more relaxed atmosphere.

[@babajaiy8246]

Strange - it's the other way around. The male side of us is what gives us Wisdom and the Female side is what gives us Compassion. The reason is that Wisdom arises from the mind and at it's highest is what gives us Bliss. It is the masculine which tends towards dwell within the mind. To think rather than feel. This is how men operate to be goal oriented. However, compassion comes from the heart - which at it's highest gives us Love. Woman naturally have an affinity for feelings and intuition all of which are related more closely to compassion. His mistake of his example is the very example he uses to understand women, ironically. Just because one moment they may be 'cold hearted' doesn't mean compassion is something foreign to be learned through the masculine. It just means the realm of feelings is rich and diverse, and woman naturally shift through those different realms of the heart. Just as men in their minds shift through different solutions to problems, the final one not necessarily being the wisest.

[@toomuchinformation]

Wisdom has greater perspective and is more to be shown through the right brain hemisphere, rather than the left brain hemisphere.

[@MuseSunflower]

Hard to take a mans "wandering eyes" not personal... I get it that newness is intriguing and its just biology and nothing personal. But it does hurt a womans feelings feeling like she's old news or not as exciting to her man as some stranger.

[@Tamarasknitting]

I agree. It's disrespectful. Jesus spoke about adultery: Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

[@SergioNikitaLialin]

You are speaking for all women in that comment: "But it does hurt a womans feelings..." but it's really your feelings and only your feelings that you can speak to...

[@athomemum8004]

Getty Rd got Rd ter thtghtttgmgq&k we

[@laurakosch]

@@SergioNikitaLialin It can be a red flag. If you ignore it and then find out it’s something more :/

[@eileenstack255]

I wish he did a talk about how to get on with women too 🙋‍♀️

[@oldladybird8528]

What do you do if the relationship never was romantic .my first husband an I had a head over heels love but my second marriage has never been that way.we were both older when we married but I had to get over not having romance.Its more companionship. But not always good living with a bipolar O.C.D. partner.Hes back in therapy so hopefully it will help.

[@MuseSunflower]

Have you studied anything on polarity and how to bring out your feminine side? That could help

[@Gigi-Anai8c7l]

why did you marry him? (the 2nd one)

[@Gigi-Anai8c7l]

his wife couldn't borrow a steamer and straighten up that shirt? he usually looks disheveled unless it's a TV program and he brings a jacket...the wife also dressed disheveled, not sure why he says she was really organized, the 2 cleaners twice a week were the ones keeping everything clean and organized in their house

[@vivienrhodes4248]

I normally gave my husband 48 hrs like money going into a money box

[@HairstylesbyCarol]

Great talk, but I don't think the hormone argument is true.

[@mariabannova6838]

Carol Benton yeah, sure)

[@ImranKhan-tj3dr]

I m single 💝💝❤❤🌷🌷🌷🌷

[@debbiesmith1978]

Wow the comment about the Asian woman is not humorous, especially for woman trying to heal. Things like that perpetuate bad male behavior

[@ImranKhan-tj3dr]

🌷🌷❤❤

[@nxo-wp4bs]

♡︎