My Wife Asked for an Open Marriage

My Wife Asked for an Open Marriage
Next Steps
📝 We want to know what you think-take our show survey! ramsey.qualtri...
📞 Ask John a question! Leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291 or click here: www.ramseysolu...
📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life: ter.li/TDJDPCBNAL
📝 Anxiety Test: bit.ly/460QXUp
📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future: ter.li/TDJDPCOYP
❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards: ter.li/TDJDPCQFH
💭 John's Free Guided Meditation: bit.ly/3MAGpEV
❤️ Money & Marriage Getaway: ter.li/nr4s8f
Offers From Today's Sponsors
10% off your first month of therapy at BetterHelp: bit.ly/3seoBCe
3 free months of Hallow: www.hallow.com...
25% off Thorne orders: www.thorne.com...
Save up to $250 on the Eight Sleep Pod: eightsleep.com...
15% off your Apollo Neuro order: apolloneuro.co...
Save 20% on Organifi orders: www.organifish...
Listen to More From Ramsey Network
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ter.li/3opzgn
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ter.li/iy4cj0
💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights ter.li/3opzgn
💰 George Kamel ter.li/9rrvlr
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ter.li/46pj7d
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ter.li/drmpbx
📈 The EntreLeadership Podcast ter.li/ux0fyw
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...
X (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( johndelony/) -
Products:
Building a Non-Anxious Life: store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Couples: store.ramseyso...
Own Your Past, Change Your Future: store.ramseyso...
2025 Ramsey Goal Planner: store.ramseyso...
Total Money Makeover: store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Friends: store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Parents & Kids: store.ramseyso...
Baby Steps Millionaires: store.ramseyso...
Get Clear Assessment: store.ramseyso...

[@needmoney666]

Divorce. The ULTIMATE open marriage.

[@GameChanger597]

That makes zero sense

[@DigiMyst]

​@@GameChanger597If he gets divorced, she can choose any guy she wants now in her open relationship. Joke explained.

[@magsi6570]

😂😂😂

[@zenlife321]

👏

[@mileyroe4877]

Agreed or simply not getting married and wasting people's time in the first place.

[@audz8219]

Nope. She had been cheating already and then asks for an open relationship?She can’t be trusted. Dude deserves better and I hope he finds peace.

[@rome2989]

She’s for the streets

[@sydguitar99]

What a hot take Edit: it's called sarcasm people

[@hector8491]

He needs to find some self respect. He knew of her actions and still chose to be with her. She has no respect for him, he has no self respect and confidence in himself.

[@nycoolj3]

@@sydguitar99 womp womp ratio’d bozo

[@sydguitar99]

@nycoolj3 you don't know what sarcasm is do you? 😂

[@MalgorzataDobrzanski]

She is not asking for open marriage. She is informing you in "nice" way she is cheating on you!

[@mildajasaite871]

And letting him know this never going to change. Guy needs to leave and never talk to this woman again.

[@masterstylistannmariekings9692]

@@mildajasaite871unfortunately they have kids together at least for now a dna test may change that

[@ITech2005]

​@@mildajasaite871Yeah, and he doesnt realize how much danger hes putting himself in. If she gets pregnant by another dude he could be forced into paternity and child support for the next 18 to 20 years. 😮

[@michellenash301]

You want an open marriage just know that DIVORCE is in your future 😮😮

[@Philsfaninnc]

She got comfortable enough after a year and a half that she was tired of having to hide her whole other relationship. Delaney is leading him wrong by tryna give him answers to make it work. Dude called him for guidance. Sometimes you just have to tell him its over.

[@the.magic.catbus9459]

anyone who cheats on you and ESPECIALLY does NOT use protection is putting your physical health at risk as well as emotional and mental health. That is not love.

[@Bdigital9482]

Protection?? So, if they wear protection it’s ok???

[@LaliladaAnamina]

@@Bdigital9482it’s something on top of cheating that shows how truly careless they are about their spouse, not that hard to comprehend boss

[@orimoreau3138]

Learn english before making an inflammatory reply

[@AS-yo2uy]

​@@Bdigital9482 yes it's to protect her husband from HIV, Gonorrhea, syphilis [if left untreated because if he never found out would turn to neurosphyilis], HPV[affects both men and women and can turn into cancer later in life its an oncovirus(cancer causing virus)] so yes if your gonna cheat use protection because kids during birth can get herpes

[@Colpane123]

@@Bdigital9482the person clearly said especially then dude. That wife is a worthless person

[@Girlgonewise]

He needs to DNA test those kids. This woman has cheated more times and for longer than he thinks. She will never treat him right.

[@Ja50nkAt]

Wouldn't be surprised at all if they weren't his. He's a beta provider c*ck.

[@maryansel932]

Absolutely! She owes him that much.

[@saladboy1465]

100%

[@fh1980ram]

He's not the kind of guy who would abandon those kids, even if they're not his.

[@leviacronym6770]

I think he should definitely dna test just in case those kids ever need his blood or kidney or whatever. I think he is the type that will love them no matter what but he needs to know.

[@onebeatsongs9326]

There is NO FIXING THIS. He needs to leave NOW. Hes basically a doormat and her safety net.

[@BetaBetaZZ]

He’s the problem too. People like him give excuses to behavior like that. They don’t have any self respect and live their life been victims. Overall creating extremely toxic environments for innocent people like the kids. Yes, his wife is also a huge problem, but that’s the thing people like him can only get it up with toxicity, normal relationships don’t do it for them. It’s just a circle of 💩 People like him make me so mad.

[@combat195]

The point is not to fix what was. It is to create something new. If she’s willing to pick up the tools and help build a new house after the hurricane then it’s going to be an amazing home to live in. With a strong foundation and good bones.

[@onebeatsongs9326]

@@BetaBetaZZ At this point I don't know what else she has to do for him to actually leave this makes my blood boil. He's a coward and he is trying to pin it on his kids saying that's the reason he hasn't left.

[@rubyblue7119]

​​@@BetaBetaZZ what the F are you mad about? He's hurting, he has low self esteem and thats not his fault. People like this didn't choose to be like this, they're brought up this way and have trauma. No self respecting person from a loving family will choose this life. You're right, he needs to take accountability, he needs to toughen up but why are YOU angry about that? You're the kind of person who thinks it's ok to bully or victim blame people who are already suffering. Fix that about yourself. You see weakness and it makes you angry, have some compassion.

[@texan903]

​@@rubyblue7119perfectly said!! 👏 🙌 👌 💯 👍🏾 People get themselves in a tizzy over things that aren't their business. It makes no sense whatsoever.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

I knew this guy was defeated by the sound of his voice. He sounds beat down by life. He deserves better

[@migalorsdarwin1930]

Im sure his wife sensed that weakness what made her cheat in the first place.

[@funicon3689]

@@migalorsdarwin1930or maybe she's just a wanton wh0re and you shouldnt blame the victim. shes cheating with multiple men without protection ffs

[@iloveplumpgrannies174]

​@@migalorsdarwin1930 Same with men. Men get bored with their wives who have nothing else going on in their lives aside from being a stay at home mom while they have a female coworker who's busy in life and far more interesting. I guess that makes cheating justified.

[@Lyntique]

​@@migalorsdarwin1930She chose to cheat. It's all on her!

[@erikhopkins9488]

SIMP ...it's a wrap.

[@emilykeepsmiling9465]

I wanna hug this guy. Sounds like he genuinely has a heart of gold and just wants to make his marriage work. I really hope he finds his happiness, whatever that may look like.

[@SanjuktaSahoo-cm6uh]

Why is it always that men who are the kindest purest and most innocent end up with most selfish, cruel and disgusting women imaginable ?

[@PeakDennisReynolds]

Can hear the defeat and misery in his voice. He needs to get away from that woman and never see her again tbh.

[@kiney4473]

Yeah this is hard to hear, wishing him the best

[@mjaybee]

He seems mildly retarded

[@naturalianoss]

Simp 😂

[@thevipez8740]

The instant your partner suggests something like this, it’s over, leave.

[@spikesecho724]

No it's not lol, it's rare, but for some, it's indeed a very loving and functional lifestyle. Stop judging something you personally can't understand

[@erudite1987]

The husband is in the marriage trap. Do as she says or get a nasty divorce. It's cheaper to keep her......

[@MisterNightfish]

Correct and don't let anyone gaslight you into thinking otherwise.

[@John3_16_]

@@spikesecho724loving and functional? You mean degenerate and irresponsible? Love triangles have a very efficient way of producing murder/jealousy and dead babies/child-abuse… you do you though I guess.

[@carllo3764]

Spot on!

[@nikkizetlian4421]

Leave her. She does not deserve you

[@corablah9809]

They both have no self respect and love for themselves. They are both ruining their own lives by not being true to themselves. They aren't happy in the relationship and need to separate asap!:(

[@micclay]

She might be a great person that is not having her needs met. He is the lucky one.

[@MrMooCow199]

I dunno, this guy seems pretty stupid himself. Wife sleeps with other men, and he asks her to collect data for a month, and tell him why an open marriage is good for them?? COLLECT DATA ON AN OPEN MARRIAGE?!

[@iloveplumpgrannies174]

​@@micclay Men cheat for that same reason. It's so nice to hear somebody justifying cheating.

[@mssophiad03]

@@micclayso be a coward go behind someone’s back rather than communicate with them directly? Notice how she was ALREADY cheating before she sold it as an open relationship. You can tell he’s not okay with it so they both have no respect for themselves.

[@ElleMakesAHome]

The guilt ISN’T crushing her. Getting caught and having to “behave” and do what he asks is crushing her.

[@sarahmilner8483]

Pretty sure there's a word for women like her!

[@pauljensen4773]

Thankyou.

[@infotechsailor]

If your wife asks for an open marriage just tell her sure and have her sign the post nup and tell her not to worry it’s just so you don’t run away with your hall pass. Soon as she signs it ghost her

[@pauljensen4773]

@@shevaspshojai6483 no she did cheat before she asked.

[@sarahmilner8483]

@@shevaspshojai6483 wake up and open your eyes and ears.. Seriously.. 🙄

[@gregdcross]

When anyone asks to be in an "open relationship", you aren't in a relationship. All good relationships are two people committed to each other.

[@tanL22]

Human beings are NOT naturally monogamous. That's a societal ideology, and guess what, it doesn't work. Most people cheat!

[@youtubefans510]

commitment does not mean sexual exclusivity

[@ItsTeezoUBZ]

Dude she cheated and made HIM feel guilty what a MASTER MANIPULATER

[@Cerase0]

Agreed. This guys self confidence is buried six feet below. And she’s knows that… pure evil.

[@catrinjones4238]

​@@Cerase0 pure evil doesn't even come close, as a women I couldn't even imagine ever doing this to my love, its absolutely disgusting! This poor bloke got his heart broke because a girl not a women a girl because that what she is, she a child in the brain, no real women would ever treat their husbands like this!

[@supernotnatural]

guy is so weak

[@Rainer125]

Dude that guy is autistic and bluepilled af. Imagine telling your wife „collect data for why that would help our marriage“ it is absolutely over for that guy, every woman he will ever meet will hate him.

[@Ryan-mg1nw]

The fact he said he sees how she’s changed and how what she did affects her, no mate she’s affected by the fact you now know about it

[@calebross3790]

She doesn’t love you man, grieve it, focus on your kids and move on

[@otrebla8944]

He needs to get DNA tests for all his kids. They might not be his.

[@GameChanger597]

He's nothing more than a comfortable pair of shoes she wears to tromp around in when she doesn't care where she's going

[@bonezbaaaby]

​@@otrebla8944True !!!

[@ralegade7710]

Make sure they’re yours first!

[@RandyWimbley]

If those are his kids...

[@tracym8952]

If your partner asks for an open relationship. Then you have the open conversation about the open door out of your house into the wide open world.

[@jillr759]

Perfectly said.

[@samanthayates8812]

Its not simple. Some times the partner being asked for an open marriage isnt putting out and makes no effort to

[@bahwickee]

yikes ​@@samanthayates8812

[@micclay]

​@@samanthayates8812exactly. Women are got the short end of the stick for eons and now the tables have turned. Patriarchy has been smashed.

[@OtisFlint]

@@samanthayates8812 Then the marriage is over.

[@enigmawpg9751]

It happened to me, I was approached with "I want an open marriage". I did the math and found out she had been cheating for a year, or more.. I never said "let's find a middle ground" I said No. I filed for divorce. It was absolutely the best thing I have ever done since getting married to this person of questionable character. The peace of mind I have now is priceless. That guy on the phone sounds defeated... he needs to get out of that "relationship" and live his life on his terms.

[@peekaboots01]

Why did you marry a woman of questionable character to begin with?

[@elijahpiere5324]

@@peekaboots01sometimes you can’t see the whole elephant because you’re standing too close to it

[@golfer435]

Him trying to make it work is living on his own terms

[@EvolutionIX219]

​@elijahpiere5324 good saying

[@ChillyIllie]

​@@peekaboots01🙄

[@KaylaRoseCampbell]

Can’t believe someone could disrespect their spouse this hard core. Heart goes out to him. I’m sorry:(

[@smalltimeoutdoors6112]

Yes..."this hard core" is so accurate. Very aggravated circumstances.

[@thundersnow93]

Yes, this man clearly had good intentions and got a big-time raw deal. He needs to go to a program like celebrate recovery where he can unpack his past hurts, strengthen his resolve and faith in God, and re-build his life post-divorce.

[@luiscasal3448]

this is very common, unfortunately.

[@Lifewithemerson323]

Most women do. All my female family members have cheated on there spouse multiple times. My Mom, all female aunts and female cousins for heaven sake my grandma is 92 and had 8 kids 5 different baby daddy’s. Why I have a rotation of women. Am a hoe and sleep around with women. Figure I do what women do to most men in the world.

[@Joenzinator]

I can believe it. This guy is a total wimp. Who could respect this loser?

[@lexkygirl1980]

My husband and I have our own issues, but I told him early on that if he ever wants an open marriage he is free to open the front door and never come back.

[@corablah9809]

This. It's okay to find a relationship where both parties desire an open relationship, it's not okay to AGREE to monogamy, then go behind someone's back, cheat because you aren't happy, and blame your monogamous spouse😭 it's so devastating

[@anthonyalbertini4097]

I agree your spot on

[@Bebedollie]

​@@corablah9809open marriage is never ok

[@BillDaBurgerEater]

Why would you bring that up?

[@Leahmoonbeamflower]

Lol 😂 soooo he must want an open marriage if you said that to him.

[@TheTyyohe]

Man, that call really hit home. I really had to compose myself. It was pretty darn close to what I went through and how I found a way to blame myself. Thankfully the marriage eventually ended, I healed and learned. I'm doing much better now.

[@BlackWhite-tx2kb]

Looks like you're also from around Pittsburgh, as am I. (Or at least you're a buccos fan.) The womenfolk around here are something else.

[@emmashuffle6457]

I just wanna give this guy a hug… this woman has absolutely destroyed all of his self esteem, self confidence, and so disrespectful to her own husband!!

[@ERIKALLOYD-fs4en]

Yeah, I bet not one of those children are his.

[@stephenwandersonea1935]

Well put, both of you.

[@SirAlaska]

She didn’t destroy his self esteem. He didn’t have any in the first place which is why he’s in this position in the aftermath of asking for help how to stop feeling the exact feelings he should be feeling and has been ignoring for a long time. Divorce NOW

[@emmashuffle6457]

@@SirAlaska regardless it’s still on her. He took vows seriously. She did not.

[@NunYaBiz1313]

​@@SirAlaskadoesn't matter. She cheated. She destroyed it.

[@David-wo9un]

If she was not using protection with multiple people how does he know he is the biological father of the children? There is a 100% chance that this was going on for years and he didn’t know it. This is extremely sad; he needs to move on.

[@SonGokuSleepTherapy]

at this point it doesnt matter he signed the birth cert and the kids see him as the dad now. He has to pay child support and she gets half of everything if they divorce

[@otrebla8944]

AND, he needs to get DNA tests for "his" children to confirm paternity.

[@cayk9444]

@@SonGokuSleepTherapythat’s not true if he signed it under false pretences at the time , aka her not disclosing she was cheating, he can easily fight the child support if they aren’t his

[@otrebla8944]

@@SonGokuSleepTherapy the truth always matters.

[@otrebla8944]

@@cayk9444 for some reason, people think knowing the truth is useless because a piece of paper was signed. The children have a right to know who their biological father is, and the alleged father has a right to know if those children are his. If he learns that they are not his, he can get himself another woman to have children that are actually his.

[@MrsMathews]

Poor guy is completely demoralized. She's already cheating, and getting somebody lined up before she officially leaves you

[@TroyP20]

Come on you preaching…I thought the same thing 💯💯😂😂

[@Welcome28487]

Facts!!! 💯

[@HARwinsOUTagain]

As soon as those kids are out the house. Gone

[@micclay]

You only heard his side. She sounds like a woman of integrity who was nice enough to tell this weenie he wasn't cutting it.

[@tjmcavoy-jensen871]

@@Welcome28487she’s been cheating the entire time probably before they were even engaged she was cheating and she is still currently cheating with the Chad/Tyrone. She just need a nice guy provider to marry her and take care of her financially and give her security while she has sex with the Chad/Tyrone’s she’s actually attracted to on the side

[@YungPharoah98]

I’ve seen many situations like this where they stay together for the kids so they won’t damage them but the kids end up getting more damaged and the person with resentment.

[@jaydaniel9402]

Yeah. I might sound harsh but people with that mindset are terrible parents and role model. My mom and dad divorced before I was 6 and i remember my dad wanting to fix it but my mum refused due to past incidents of disrespect. Now I am older, I am glad they got divorced as it was much better for me to grow up in different houses where both parents are happier. It also made me realise I won’t tolerate someone who disrespects me or my boundaries.

[@megsley]

say it with me now...DIVORCE.

[@boston312]

the divorce courts will victimize him

[@corablah9809]

​@@boston312majority of states are no fault lol, none of that matters, theres no siding with anyone, it's all just paperwork and basic decisions they make every single day.

[@HARwinsOUTagain]

@@corablah9809that’s absolutely not the outcome of how divorce is handled by the court for men. I would also ethically say that her open marriage garbage is at fault.

[@vsfreddy]

No good reason to stay, no good reason not to divorce. Doesn’t matter if he gets destroyed in the divorce….its still better than staying with a diseased monster of a woman for another day. He’s definitely spineless…but most spineless dudes eventually come to the right conclusion….give him time ,reality will set in for him too.

[@boston312]

these basic decisions always seem to have a certain outcome. 95 percent of alimony payments are rewarded to women and 90 percent of child support is rewarded to women. Call it what you want but the stats dont lie@@corablah9809

[@whithartman1886]

This guy was given no help at all. He needed to be told to divorce her.

[@raulpardomorales7994]

That very thought has to born in his own mind. Telling a drug addict "you need to quit" has never helped anyone. The addict must want to quit for him/herself, this guy has to choose divorce for himself.

[@jamesmccloud1002]

​@raulpardomorales7994 Telling a drug addict that they need to quit absolutely helps people. That's what interventions are. I fully agree that he ultimately needs to be the one to make the call, but it helps to hear others say it first. If this wasn't the case, being an enabler also wouldn't matter, and you could just keep handing them drugs with no issues.

[@hughesadam87]

​@@raulpardomorales7994 ya but it's still ok to say dude you really should quit - everything else is not enough

[@carllennen3520]

This guy doesn't help men. Even when the woman is a complete scumbag, he figures out a way to elevate them. He told him that he can still, "build something beautiful" with this woman. Hes a typical gynocentric "therapist". The woman can do no wrong, and even if she is, there's a good reason for it, and the man just has to be better, is the advise he gives on every single call. Hes a dangerous person.

[@lewismackenzie3647]

100% ... terrible terrible advice given here. The caller is a weak weak man and the advice is just indulgence and reinforcing that it's OK.

[@ellenmatteo3254]

He should tell his wife "You don't know how to love me and I deserve better than you". That is what I told my first husband when I divorced his lying cheating ass. Best think I ever did.

[@JerseyDevilJerseyGirl]

Yes Ellen, YES!!! 👏🏽

[@barryc9115]

That such a factual and beautiful way to put it!

[@IchigoLazer]

My ex wife suggested the same thing. I said "no." She told me a couple months later she was cheating on me. Got divorced afterwards. If they say they want an open marriage, 100% she cheating.

[@youtubefans510]

or has the intention

[@Red_with_lead]

This is an issue i have with John. He's very sharp and helps a lot of people. That said, he has no problem telling a woman in an abusive relationship to run. But he still wants to give this guy hope like he can still save his marriage even though he's being abused. She's killing him without ever laying a hand on him. There is no fixing this. Ever.

[@John.Christopher]

Half the advice John gives I go "Man... What the ffff are you talking about?!?!?!?!" "Why would you say that?" But I still watch

[@tonyelbows]

the cee you en tee in the divorce is going to use the damned system to financially rape him. Maybe he is trying to mitigate that....maybe.

[@Spookyaki1]

John is a fucking simp who caters to women.

[@plywood7894]

Sometimes people have to exhaust every option and hope before they can leave. Telling someone to leave usually just backfires because you make them defensive. Telling someone to work on the relationship probably helps them get out faster.

[@ciara7172]

There was a woman whose husband was caught touching a 13 year old inappropriately and he advised her to work on things with him. Granted, with very strict conditions for him to adhere to...

[@LadyintheLake9]

My ex husband pulled this on me. When he suggested an open marriage, i knew right away all his cheating was confirmed after he denied quite a bit. I was crushed. I am separated now and will be divorcing.

[@jillr759]

Sending you cyber strength.

[@natela_mk]

Sending additional cyber strength. Thanks for choosing yourself. You'll always remember having your own back when it mattered the most.

[@mimimonster]

I’ve been there. My ex admitted to sleeping with 30 women during our marriage. Best thing a therapist told me was that I was in love with a figment of my imagination. He never was who I thought he was. It’s been 12 years now and my life has never been better!! Things get better! Hang in there.

[@michellerock3543]

Hugs ❤

[@marciabernard3820]

U can move on.. strength to u.

[@godknowsimstupid7848]

This is not fixable. He needs to divorce her. To say otherwise is to waste the rest of his life

[@GameChanger597]

Very well said! Completely agree!! I think everyone can sense that it's not going to work because she clearly doesn't care. She may even be bipolar. Either way she's not normal.

[@notreallyafamousartist695]

@@GameChanger597damn you’re right I didn’t think about that. Definitely sounds like bipolar or borderline

[@Anna-cx4tg]

Nah. Bipolar is a mood disorder. This woman has a disordered personality. Poor guy needs to leave. ​@@GameChanger597

[@leviacronym6770]

@@GameChanger597Eh, being a cheater doesn’t make you bi polar. I’m bi polar and never cheated or wanted to cheat. Was I cheated on before? Yep. Stop blaming crap on mental Illness already. Plenty of “normal” people do terrible things and aren’t mentally ill. Mentally ill or not, you are responsible for your actions.

[@brandoninhofer6592]

The woman doesn't respect this man. If you are a man you put down your foot and lay the law down, your partner will respect you for that. Remember a woman will always be faithful to her emotions.

[@richardbullwood5941]

Anyone asking for an open marriage is asking for a divorce, but a divorce where you stick around and keep giving them companionship and Financial support. But it's still a divorce. It's just that you don't get to go away.

[@timhendricks8913]

As a man who has been through a similar experience. There is no forgetting or getting over it. Just simply move on. Be strong for your kids. You will survive this.

[@Seamonkey1981]

this poor guy is an abused spouse. she is just stringing him along.

[@avocadoaficiando]

When people have no self-respect, they can't expect or demand respect from others

[@iloveplumpgrannies174]

​@@avocadoaficiando So the guy has no self respect that's why the wife cheated on him? What was it that the guy did or didn't do that diminished his wife's respect for him and the reason she started cheating on him?

[@adshaj]

​@@iloveplumpgrannies174his lack of self respect didn't cause the cheating but it's amplifying his pain. He cares about losing her more than he cares about losing jims

[@deanwitt7903]

@@avocadoaficiando plenty of self respecting people have had a partner dump on them . He may have had all the self respect in the world but when a piece of trash decides she wants to lead a selfish life it’s a reflection on her lousy personality not his .

[@12yearssober]

And he's weak so at this point he's a willing participant

[@wkiv7946]

The pain of divorce is nothing compared to the pain of someone you love repeatedly shitting on you, your marriage and your kids and having to look at that person everyday!!!

[@rianamohamed300]

My mom told me, are you going to go through this pain over and over again, or just separate yourself from this, grieve about it, and then move on. Thats what eventually helped me to let go and move on.

[@WillE454]

I’ve never understood the concept of open marriages. If you’re in an open marriage what’s the point of being married in the first place?

[@davidbgooch9587]

They get their cake and eat it to is why

[@lindajackson2382]

It's an OXYMORON

[@WillE454]

@@lindajackson2382 exactly

[@spikesecho724]

Well, it actually takes an incredible amount of respect and love and maturity to have a successful open marriage. But I can understand how most couples fall short of those things and therefore it's out of the question

[@John3_16_]

@@spikesecho724stop comment spamming the same degenerate/irresponsible talking points. Nobody is buying it.

[@downtoearth1950]

A ring is the symbol of a relationship, it encloses and excludes all others. Once broken the ring can never be repaired.

[@youtubefans510]

you can put a ring around a woman's finger but it is not a lock on her **** when she really likes and feels very attracted to another he too will have full access she will break all rules for him , you will never own someone or their feelings P.S. a woman acts on how she FEELS not on any vow (that is the law not her feelings)

[@youtubefans510]

when esther perel says my partner doesn't belong to me it says you do not OWN your partner and you do not OWN their feelings and you can NOT make their decisions for them they are theirs to make, they do NOT need your permission or approval to do whatever they want if that happens to mean infidelity it is THEIR CHOICE to make you don't have to be happy about it whether you stay with that person or not , often it is the latter , if you act on an attraction towards another you are out which is why people keep secrets and lie as long as people are judgmental it will never change, people are judgmental and possessive and have a zero tolerance towards infidelity , but people do have feelings for others which they cannot always and do not always ignore and this is why it is a taboo subject people do not want to believe that it may be their brother or sister cousin or wife or a good friend that may be guilty of infidelity and they are oh so judgmental when it is someone else until it happens to them (hypocrisy) this is the problem why you often cannot be open and honest

[@Scp123-m7o]

Man don't gaslight yourself. The rage and betrayal your feeling is a survival mechanism. Protect yourself from this narcissist

[@laine_rich]

Cheating is the ultimate betrayal that can rarely be looked past. Divorce her and find a woman with integrity.

[@RobertIsmyname]

Good luck in America 🇺🇸

[@badgerden7080]

Good luck in the west.

[@badgerden7080]

Not just America, but any country where feminism has planted it's ugly flag.

[@jimheidl1272]

Good luck. Very rare

[@klikkz4496]

Woman with integrity 💀💀💀

[@TrthBHld]

A husband like this is gold! Why are all the good people missing each other and marrying snakes 🐍

[@truthfinder6932]

Exactly!!!!

[@gordocarbo]

I hear ya. The takers can smell givers, good people and will exploit them til theres nothing left without a care. THere are many that are led to believe their spouse wouldnt do it to them cause that would just be evil. Really sad to see

[@Mr-214]

Because snakes are fun. Opposites attract.

[@tristankerr3655]

@@Mr-214 Love a snake with big tiddies

[@Tony-bp1nr]

​@@gordocarboBecause the evil ones are the better charmers. It's hard for one evil person to charm another evil person. Which is why 2 good people who are married is a rarity

[@Stphnwrt]

What’s sad about this is the children are being taught that this is how relationships are supposed to be. The children are soaking in all these behaviors, fears and insecurities that the parents are displaying.

[@amandahugenkiss]

This is what we call "Backdating the Papers." She's already been cheating and she wants to get permission for the stuff she's already done.

[@fear_regret_only]

By not telling him to leave, you’re setting him up for failure. Infidelity is grounds for divorce… PERIOD. There is not stopping rumination, only time heals. He is choosing to continue to trust the rattlesnake

[@giaktilli]

Agreed. Any advice toward 'building something new' or 'replace the bad images with happy images' is absolute BS and a disservice to this gentleman. That relationship is a wrap. It's tough but you just gotta walk away.

[@Rambutan.]

I agree, it seems like Dr John gave the solution to a different problem. You shouldn't just decide to trust a person like this, you just simply shouldn't. The advice on how to reduce rumination was good, but it wasn't the right advice for this caller. I think the caller felt unheard because he added at the end how she had been emotionally cheating on him for years prior, and that wasn't acknowledged. The poor guy got swindled and scammed out of years of love, support and the idea that he had a life partner. She doesn't deserve a marriage, open or otherwise.

[@TheRealHerbaSchmurba]

Its from his personal belief that anyone can change if they want to. He believes that if both people truly want to fix the relationship that it’s possible if they do the right things, which is why he never tells people directly to leave or stay. He wants them to have their own agency with the facts at hand. It’s why, even though he didn’t directly tell him to leave, he framed her as a tiger and a predator that he will have to learn to be comfortable with. He didn’t understate her impact on him. It’s the callers fault for lacking agency and not making the right move.

[@ronhall5395]

Well he would be irresponsible to tell him to leave. This has to be his decision alone. Pointing out how disgusting she is, that is the way to proceed. He has to make that decision on his own.

[@kylel7158]

​@@ronhall5395Sure, but he wasn't even playing that as an option. This guy is getting walked all over. Imo, the only way for him to get any respect back from his woman is to finally stand up and leave her.

[@figgityfly]

Someone I dated told me his live in ex-girlfriend of years who he shared a child with came home one day and asked for an open relationship. Meanwhile he had been taking care of her child from a previous relationship (very close in age) and their child. He said he knew his relationship was over the minute she asked. Be careful because people push boundaries. I lived with an ex-fiance and we share a child together. He came home one day and stated to me how lucky his contractor was because his wife liked women and brought home women to be intimate for them both. I knew my relationship was over then after that statement. He was testing the waters to analyze how I would respond to him.

[@randolph7214]

"And did that make you feel any better?".... I laughed so hard I got dizzy🤣 🤣

[@MarkTrueblood]

“Sure. The door’s open and I’m shutting it behind you.”

[@reddoorman]

❤

[@bxboyxw17]

That rattlesnake story is actually an Aesops Fable of the Scorpion and the Frog. Where the Scorpion asks the frog to take to take the scorpion across the pond. The frog responds with "no you'll sting me" and the scorpion convinces the frog that he won't. So the frog takes the scorpion across the pond, and halfway there, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog asks "why did you sting me? Now we'll both die." And the scorpion responds "Its in my nature".

[@aaron199]

Texas version

[@aahz42]

The real ending to the story is; Then the scorpion says... "Ah, but I can swim." Scorpions can survive 48 hours underwater without air and have some ability to swim. So, F the frog.

[@bxboyxw17]

@@aahz42 Yes I know that scorpions can swim. But it's an Aesops where animals can talk. Realism is less important than the overall message.

[@mikasasukasa4479]

Way to miss the point... lol​@@aahz42

[@djmaster1995]

No one asked

[@pskarnaq73]

She hasn't stopped cheating. She's just been more careful with it. Get out of there, dude!

[@intellectualgladiata]

Most of them never stop cheating, they just go into bunker mode covering their tracks. I was monitoring my ex-wife with all sorts of things like GPS trackers, keyloggers and hidden cameras. There were times she'd drive back from work because she wasn't 100% sure she had cleared her browser history. An incredible level of paranoia to allow for such was her priority to cheat.

[@SanjuktaSahoo-cm6uh]

​@@intellectualgladiataanother strategy they use is they'll actually not lie about where they are going or what they are going for, for example she'll say she's going to get some things from the market and she'll bring those things but she'll find time to cheat in between. Best lies are hidden in between two truths.

[@tjat5]

This will never go away. They need to separate, the kids don’t deserve this.

[@FloridaManConstruction]

Give it to her. Open the door and walk out brother.

[@SUZANNECARPENTER-ou3je]

Exactly

[@abcede6421]

Yes!

[@michaelmelaragno1207]

No, you walk HER out the door.

[@ericabrewer9220]

My thoughts exactly on open marriage!

[@bereniceeyebrow9541]

Walk HER out.

[@meganbaute4254]

This guy sounds like a sweetheart. I would give anything I had to have a loyal guy like him in my life.

[@missl9348]

I wouldn't. He a doormat and a passive wimp. I have zero respect for a man who won't stand up for himself.

[@thundersnow93]

You are a rare species. Most women/people blame the faithful guy for being a "simp" (just look at the many comments in this thread!), even saying that he CAUSED her to cheat. I say B.S. to that! They just need to control their impulses and prioritize life's goals better.

[@AlbertisFamily]

Lolll all women call men like that sweetheart 😅, you’ll cheat in the first week with a guy like that

[@meganbaute4254]

@@AlbertisFamily I wouldn’t but maybe you would if you think like that lol

[@lucianaromulus1408]

Same. Its DEVASTATING as a woman seeing good men treated like 💩. I H A TE these types of women

[@dianabialaskahansen2972]

Dude needs to grow a spine, go to a divorce lawyer and file for divorce. She betrayed him in the worst way and there is no way back from that.

[@tcantrell5301]

It sounds a lot easier when you're on the outside of it.

[@gwenrichard7507]

The fact that she let him blame himself and not go out of her way to tell everyone involved what she did, she is having momentary laps of character.

[@RealRickCox]

An open relationship!?!? That's a sure sign that the relationship is over. I wouldn't share my wife with anyone and I wouldn't expect her to share me.

[@spikesecho724]

To each their own dude. For some, it's a thing that saves a relationship and strengthens it

[@martusia4594]

​@@spikesecho724😂😂😂😂 no

[@aMae-zing]

This language of sharing makes it sound like y'all are property😂😬😬 Closed marriage is lovely, enjoy it!

[@AnarchoPunkChad]

​@aMae-zing No it doesn't lmao. Imagine using this logic in another scenario. Are your kids property because you won't let someone else parent them?

[@maryansel932]

@@spikesecho724 Only if the crisis leads them to a place where it won't happen again. Affairs generally don't help anything. Open marriages are essentially a form of polygamy and polyandry. There are societies that practice polyandry, wherein a woman has multiple husbands...that's an intriguing concept to me!!!

[@ering7733]

She only asked for an open marriage so she wouldn’t have to continue to work at sneaking around.

[@LB-gz3ke]

I'm sure she also feels like a good honest person now too, lol.

[@skyfall1481]

Yep. Keep the husband as a stable backup while her hookups come and go.

[@SH-ds8uo]

I have been in this guy's exact position, always trying to go the route divorce is not an option, but was slowly killing me inside. Eventually went to divorce and that was the most relieving thing in my life. Now with someone else godly and loving. Wish this guy the best.

[@maureenclement2553]

Guilt? She feels guilt?…I don’t think so.

[@pirate254]

The great philosopher Future said it best "She belongs to the streets"

[@anddudewaslike]

An open marriage is not a marriage

[@montymython754]

Yeah it’s an oxymoron

[@trublu3483]

She married him for the ability to manipulate him and get whatever she wants. But she is a hornball. Those guys are smashing in closets at work. He sounds soft AF. Need to be a man a stand up for himself She does not love him

[@tomk.2601]

Agreed.

[@ITech2005]

Yeah, and he doesnt realize how much danger hes putting himself in. If she gets pregnant by another dude he could be forced into paternity and child support for the next 18 to 20 years. 😮

[@mags2847]

Marriage is a legal binding. It doesn’t dictate how you should live your sex life. Let others live.

[@tomk.2601]

Been around for 60+ years, and *not a single open marriage that I knew of ever lasted,* no matter how much marriage counseling once the couple realized their stupid mistake. They always divorced, and *none* of the divorces were amicable. Daddies who wanted them usually got the kids, but no child support, and in half the cases, "mommy" wasn't present on a regular basis. Get into individual therapy, dump her, realize that you never deserved how you and the kids were treated, and eventually move on. (It's better to not date for 2 to 3 years once divorced to ensure you're clear of the mess that your wife created.)

[@stevezelaznik5872]

You probably do know couples that successfully are non-monogamous, but they’re discreet so you have no idea they’re in an open marriage.

[@tjrichez4297]

You’re a smart man but people in marriages that cheat don’t have no accountability

[@sjg5994]

Such wise advice! Thank you! The others who disagree are hypocrites who do not understand the ramifications of such things. The hypocrisy of someone saying they want a marriage commitment but then "poking" multiple people shows the depravity of people's hearts. Just be single and have a roommate. Why twist what marriage is....geez.

[@tomk.2601]

​​@@stevezelaznik5872 Interesting that *you're* telling *me* who I know and don't know about what. Keep your comments *to topic,* buddy.

[@tomk.2601]

​@@stevezelaznik5872 Interesting that you're telling me *who* I don't know and about *what.* Stick to topic, buddy.

[@theodorusrexicon5760]

How can she respect him? without respect, there is no love.

[@onebeatsongs9326]

If your partner suggests something like this 9/10 time she already has someone in mind. And just doesn't want to lose her safety net

[@LB-gz3ke]

Yeah, no one is potentially blowing up their marriage with this conversation over a hypothetical person.

[@Cymricus]

She’s got him in more than her mind most of the time…

[@ST-rj8iu]

I bet the guy is broke, but hot.

[@Mr-214]

Honestly she probably just wants a train ran on her and maybe she would be open to bring another woman in with both of them as well she's just afraid to make it crystal clear and thinks atleast this way it will be fair and he can get his too.

[@sushimamba4281]

more like 999 times out of 1000

[@CodeDusq1]

When “I do” becomes “I do… also with others.”

[@delightschwartz2155]

Or "I do.... Anyone"

[@drakezen]

Whenever she asks for an open marriage, 99% of the time, she's got someone already. she just wants a safety net in case it goes sour.

[@abztraktt6403]

BINGO

[@ronhall5395]

The guys at work were just passing her around. How disgusting.

[@miken2968]

99? No... 💯

[@gordocarbo]

Her way of saying I wanna cheat and not have to hide it. No way this cant destroy his confidence and self esteem.

[@ronaldbennett5996]

The problem is that when a meek and timid man is pushed too far and snaps, he usually does a 180 and goes to the opposite extreme.

[@youtubefans510]

that can be a fair analysis and even prediction

[@williamj.dovejr.8613]

It is never the cheater who goes through hell, its the one who was cheated on

[@steffibaker6121]

The cheater's hell is never ever being able to trust anyone.

[@neoloanderson6676]

@@steffibaker6121 I can confirm that 😩.

[@hitthurdeaux]

Cheater goes to hell, the cheated goes through hell

[@fil4648]

Bullshit, people can feel genuine remorse and guilt after doing something wrong.

[@Skindred727]

@@fil4648 is that during the first guy they bang or the 100th guy?

[@DigiMyst]

Dude, please...you *must* drop her. She's everyone's wife now...

[@ziahreid9269]

He needs an std test for him and a paternity test for the kids. Then contact a divorce lawyer. He's delusional if he thinks this can work. She is far too selfish and addicted to male attention to be anyone's wife. It's not his responsibility to rehabilitate her. He needs some friends to knock some sense into him.

[@devadii24]

🎯🎯🎯

[@lukegraham5105]

Boom! Perfectly said! 👊

[@roberts4426]

Amen

[@kristopherbenner3730]

She's been cheating on him for who knows how long, if she's asking for a open marriage, she just wants to legalize her cheating.

[@GreenGrasshoppa]

My friend, if you're reading this, you need to divorce her. For clarity, I'm a woman but I had the same situation. My ex was having an affair, I found out and he issued an ultimatum.....open marriage or it's over. I didn't skip a beat and said I'll be retaining a lawyer tomorrow. It was a real hard couple of years but I came out the other side of it with more confidence and self respect. Soldier on my friend and take the high hard road. ✊

[@leedolian4482]

my man, for you to think she feels guilt.... you have a heart of gold

[@rorycolgan]

😅

[@ashfordj81]

Is gold a euphemism for naivete?

[@voxpathfinder15r]

My last girlfriend was genuinely the nicest woman I was ever in a relationship with. In the end, she broke up with me over the phone after a year and a half. And of all my girlfriends, she sounded like the one with the least guilt in her voice of all. I was so floored.

[@samanthasmiles9112]

​@voxpathfinder15r There is no reason to feel guilty over ending a relationship that is not right for you. You are not entitled to someones body and mind... just because you think it belongs to you. Guilt should never be apart of break-ups. Just two adults deciding to move on to better things. That's what dating is..... It's figuring out if you want to stay or go.

[@voxpathfinder15r]

@@samanthasmiles9112 typical female response…..She told me she didn’t feel it was right of her to continue using me. I didn’t know that is all I was to her. I was serious. Men are sick of the bs from women. We have woken up, we realize women aren’t capable of actual true love for us, we’re just a source of resources to them. And when we no longer provide the resources they want, we get dropped like a dried out husk. Like I said, this attitude was from perhaps the kindest woman I ever met. And I still got the light switch treatment, she walked away from me with as much sadness and regret as someone that closes a light switch in a room before going to bed….which is to say none at all!!!

[@JaneDoe-s5u]

Why do people want to rebuild a relationship with someone who betrayed them the first time. At some point, you have to take back your love the other person and give it all back to yourself!

[@goinggaga4ladygaga]

Unfortunately it’s trauma bonding and attachment issues. It’s a living hell. Until that trauma bond is broken he will put up with this abuse and blame himself for it.

[@bigbiggsreaction5349]

Sometimes it works other times it dies. We don't hear much about it because people judge or call people stupid, navigate, or plan outright weak. Some people have different beliefs. In China, people cheat all the time even women it just isn't widely talked about.

[@mynightmare3798]

Agreed. But this becomes incredibly hard when you have children together. Letting go means accepting that you still need to rebuild a cordial relationship to co-parent effectively. You can’t just delete their number and never speak to them again if you want a healthy dynamic for the kids. All the emotions you had to confront but couldn’t fully resolve to try and save or leave the relationship now resurface. You’re forced to co-parent with someone you no longer trust or love in the same way, starting from ground zero to redefine what your relationship is. Navigating those unresolved feelings while protecting your individual bond with the kids is incredibly difficult, especially without the clean break needed to fully process and grieve.

[@corystovall3544]

"Scorpion and the Frog." Frog carries scorpion across the pond, scorpion stings frog thus killing it. Despite the scorpion telling the frog beforehand, "Don't worry if i sting you, then we will both drown."

[@randomsmall-governmentguy2221]

My brother ... I am sooo sorry to hear so. The same thing happened to me. My wife asked for an open marriage. I tried to be understanding for a while and get the crazy ideas out of her head. I did not succeed. I divorced her and that was that. We are still on friendly terms. Do not hate, but YOU MUST PROTECT YOUR OWN SOUL AND DIGNITY. Your marriage is over. There is no fixing it and there is no moving past this. She must go. It will hurt, but you will look back and thank yourself.

[@stephaniereich1098]

I like this advice

[@MustyGrapes]

Oh that's an interesting point. Dave talks about an individual getting a job and paying their own way giving them dignity. I wonder how that relates in the relationship world. How does one recover their dignity when their spouse has been unfaithful? I've never been married so not much experience/knowledge to build on.

[@KS-cl8br]

Leave anyone who cheats on you, your relationship is over.

[@Mila808g]

This man SOUNDS down in the dumps, wow. I feel for him immensely. How sad.

[@neberboi]

Dr John called the caller's wife a rattle snack in a bag and then proceeds to teach the caller how to pretend it's not a rattle snake inside the bag🤣🤣

[@ikepodell5022]

I think it’s only because the guy continued to repeat that he wanted to make it work despite that John basically told him that it won’t work. At that point John could have said “sorry can’t help you. You’re screwed!” Or he could do what he did which is try to give the guy the healthiest way possible to try and make it work since this guy seems dead set on doing so. I just feel bad for the guy that he can’t see the correct choice in leaving her

[@natela_mk]

The rumination advice to just STOP it, could backfire. The more you suppress it, the more it eats away at you subconsciously. He needs to leave NOW, while there's a shred of fight in him. He's on the verge of giving up his whole soul to maintain this sick bond. The sheer volume of betrayal she's inflicted on this guy is demonic. He sounds broken. I want to cry. And then help him find a new home, go to the gym/ join one and get pumped about how he's gonna make his future HIS and only accept authenticity and loyalty in his life. This man is dying.

[@sds6303]

Agreed! Dr. John missed the mark on this one a little. She is so insanely toxic, he needs to leave. He needs to break this trauma bond he has with her, lead by example & show his kids not to put up with anyone who cheats on you. His wife is a narcissist who needs attention & fresh validation bc she’s so insecure with herself.

[@kingdele01]

One word: DIVORCE!!! She was already having an affair and she has checked our of the marriage.

[@AlbertisFamily]

But in the country he lives in , he is gonna lose everything kids , house and it’s sad

[@kingdele01]

@@AlbertisFamily That is not always true in every instance! In some states, one is not obliged to pay alimony or lose too many assets to an unfaithful wife. He just needs to check the laws where he lives. Either way, that marriage is over! - And even if he loses everything to her, sometimes you just have to lose everything before you can start to rebuild. - Also, staying with an unfaithful spouse is risky and disgusting. Because she can be convinced by her lover to mur-der you so that they could get everything & be together, or she can catch a terrible STI and bring it home to you. Also, you might be coming in contact with another man's juice inside of her, which is almost as disgusting as catching STI from her.

[@clarafernandezgonzalez-yn2ql]

He tells her to stop and she says "No". Wtf??? She does not understand what trust and respect means, she does not deserve a relationship.

[@John.Christopher]

I couldn't believe it ... I really can't believe it

[@AnnSmajstrla]

I’ve literally never heard of *one* instance where an open marriage worked and was healthy.

[@Itsjrob_]

Dam bro she’s already been cheating ….thats fucked

[@0rnery0verwatch]

Typically the case. The balls it would take to ask that of your spouse, means they already have someone in mind... or they've already cheated and want to retroactively make it okay.

[@thehoteldeveloper]

Umm... I think that's her..... Lol

[@tjmcavoy-jensen871]

@@0rnery0verwatch she’s been cheating the entire 15 years she just needed to marry him to be the provider and give her security while she gets piped down on the side by Chad/tyrone

[@InteractiveIdea]

Why was she tho? Perhaps he ain't good as a husband

[@ecasino29]

​@@InteractiveIdea If he isn't a good husband. She needed to walk away and ask for a divorce. The husband may have lost his way, but the wife is both a coward and cruel. She's a terrible wife and person.

[@jestfuldemigod]

this guy is emasculated. Unreal.

[@jones2277]

he never became a man. he's still the teenager he was when they met. gotta wonder what that dynamic was like.

[@ganymedehedgehog371]

Those kids are doomed if their father is gonna soon be saying “my wife’s boyfriend sent me to bed”. He’s gotta leave for his and his kids sake.

[@cur244]

This often happens in marriage. Women very often emasculate men.

[@jones2277]

@@cur244 you can't be "emasculated" unless you're weak to begin with.

[@12yearssober]

​@@jones2277 He bought into that happy wife happy life nonsense

[@tequisaholloway1738]

Cheating and not using protection! Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

[@christianpounds4693]

Man I was with a chick that was married smh never again but she was the one that said she wanted to stop using protection smh it’s an evil world

[@adnanorochi3761]

​​@@christianpounds4693You are a man after having fun, at least tell her husband to get her ass out of his life.. you really don't want to end up with someone like that, So, him knowing about her is the best thing that happened.. You can just send him a msg without revealing your identity.. You would help this poor husband.

[@Kinglore2000]

You do OPEN things, your partner will want OPEN things.

[@TheJoedonbakerfan]

An open marriage is really just one partner wanting to keep the other in their back pocket because they can't, or won't, enforce boundaries.

[@karri8998]

You are so right. He is her personal babysitter while she is out f**king around on her husband.

[@J3susWithaGun]

Open marriages defeat the whole purpose of a marriage

[@ronhall5395]

She gets to run around after work while he watches her kids. He has no time or chance to date. She knew this when she asked. She is a snake for sure. I would have taken the kids while she was out hooking up and went to.ahotelfora few days. See if she is happy or if she panics. Then if he wants to stay married lay down the law. The best thing he did was out the two married men to.their wives. Now he needs to lay down the law. This is how it is going to be or we are done . ( I would have been out of there the first time I knew she cheated.) She has mental issues and it is not something he can fix.

[@1dingerr]

It's basically a way of keeping a parent around while you do whatever you want. She keeps him around to pay the bills, babysit the kids, manage her responsibilities. Meanwhile, she can do whatever she wants.

[@EuroTechReview]

I feel so bad for this guy 😢 heartbreaking. The raw pain in his voice...

[@Wezo6666]

Yeah it's so sad ; he probably blames him self cause he was gaslighted into to believing his at fault

[@Lotus1111]

💔😔😭

[@ihateutube1143]

I don't..

[@nevadatan7323]

​@@ihateutube1143so _you're_ the cheating wife huh 👋HIIIII

[@wolfmancool]

When he says he can see the guilt in her eyes, what she’s doing is manipulating him into feeling sorry for her so he doesn’t leave her. He needs to cut the cord & leave her for good because she’s not going to stop cheating on him.

[@bignickenergy723]

A woman's tears are only real if she is alone. If she cries in front of somebody, it's manipulation.

[@donnawestbrook8992]

​@@bignickenergy723 what happened to you that you believe such a thing? Imagine if someone said that about all men. Neither is a monolith.

[@lenitaa7938]

@@bignickenergy723Whoa! Overly simplistic on ur part and rarely true! I hope u are not in a relationship, bc ur reasoning is off and is cruel! It is ur excuse not to feel any empathy or compassion! Of course, there are some manipulative women out there! Just as there are manipulative men! You have to know if a woman is generally manipulative, dishonest, lacks integrity! Then, she may use her tears as a tool! Often, there are no real tears! She may pretend to cry even when ‘alone’! Most women are not manipulative and their tears are genuine, bc they are heartbroken and unable to hold them back!

[@lenitaa7938]

Her guilt may be genuine! It seems this Dr John had not considered that there may be other reasons for her brazen infidelity! I’m really surprised he didn’t consider this, esp since her behaviour is very extreme! Is he a Psychologist ? If so, he ought to know better! There may be physiological reasons for her behaviour that she may not understand herself! It’s the first thing that occurred to me due to how extreme she is! Her body may be over producing testosterone, such as the Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome! Or she may have a brain tumour or a brain damage from an accident ! Or have a Bipolar illness with a Manic phase that makes her sexually compulsive, have a bad judgement and very impulsive! If so, this can be effectively treated with the meds to control it! Or she may have a Personality Disorder! Or have a Sexual Addiction! Or, I could be wrong! Either way, her motivation and reasoning were not explored ! It was presumed to be her lack of morals and lack of commitment ! We don’t know her history, whether her behaviour suddenly changed! A brain damage can really screw up one’s behaviour, a change of a personality, also!

[@lenitaa7938]

You may be right ! If she is just manipulating him, then she won’t change ! He knows this, but is not ready to acknowledge it, yet!

[@mulchy85]

Wow. Pretty much exact scenario with me. Such good advice here. Grieving and recognizing the bear. The hope you want will get crushed. Grieve, cry, workout hard, and be kind to yourself. Find the influences that give good perspective and ways to get geared toward the thoughts you can control. Hang in there all to have been betrayed! It fucking hurts but don’t waste the fuel it gives to become better and attract better people.

[@LauraSnow-in3nx]

Good for him for standing up to these other men by telling their wives! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@crazyfirebender15]

I just want to hug this dude, nobody deserves that. Someone cheats on you, you leave. He’s holding onto this horrible relationship when he could be way happier not in this relationship.

[@katlynn744]

Sorry but I think he gave the wrong advice to this guy….he needs to get out of the marriage asap!

[@mistermister9510]

He most definitely gave him horrible advice!

[@andrewgrudzinskas5778]

The marriage is done dr. John from what I've seen is a total simp and spreads simp advice

[@Orenoryori]

@@andrewgrudzinskas5778 I couldn't believe what I was hearing from him. Dude, the wife cheated on the guy countless times. She is being taken care of while cheating on him. Why is the husband even going to counseling... for his wife's hypergamy?! 304 material and has no regrets. Evil woman.

[@benmyers9030]

Dr devorcey unless the wife is the town bicycle. Then you need to just love her more. Buy the book. Own your past, cuk your future!

[@Kayla-hs9rt]

Are we watching the same video? He said that the marriage is over and that he should move on

[@streetsiswatching9660]

1:03 she collected more than information 💀

[@ZumbaZINJPanda]

😂😊😅 you are shady. Hahaha

[@mmueller1021]

If there's anything Dr John's show has taught me it's that my decision to stay single has probably been the right one.

[@adamhardeezy8476]

A woman who approaches her husband for an open marriage already has someone in mind.

[@james-lj3ev]

mine suggested that and I divorced her sorry ass

[@JudarianGaming]

same thing happened to one of my friends.he was with someone for 15-16 years she wanted to have an open relationship talked him into it and she up and left to a different state. to be with another guy

[@youtubefans510]

indeed, regular infidelity in any case becomes very hard to tolerate, when esther perel says my partner doesn't belong to me it says you do not OWN your partner and you do not OWN their feelings and you can NOT make their decisions for them they are theirs to make, they do NOT need your permission or approval to do whatever they want if that happens to mean infidelity it is THEIR CHOICE to make you don't have to be happy about it whether you stay with that person or not , often it is the latter , if you act on an attraction towards another you are out which is why people keep secrets and lie as long as people are judgmental it will never change, people are judgmental and possessive and have a zero tolerance towards infidelity , but people do have feelings for others which they cannot always and do not always ignore and this is why it is a taboo subject people do not want to believe that it may be their brother or sister cousin or wife or a good friend that may be guilty of infidelity and they are oh so judgmental when it is someone else until it happens to them (hypocrisy) this is the problem why you often cannot be open and honest this is my analysis of the entire subject of infidelity so I would say occassional reluctantly acceptable for both parties regular occurence not acceptable

[@SherryEllesson]

Much as I understand and empathize, being the "cheated on" partner is like a cancer to the soul. I really think he needs to get a good attorney and look forward to being a divorced dad.

[@Savemysoul45]

Feels so good to be single, listening to this makes it feel much more pleasurable. I’ll never get married

[@youtubefans510]

I empathise with your sentiment, when esther perel says my partner doesn't belong to me it says you do not OWN your partner and you do not OWN their feelings and you can NOT make their decisions for them they are theirs to make, they do NOT need your permission or approval to do whatever they want if that happens to mean infidelity it is THEIR CHOICE to make you don't have to be happy about it whether you stay with that person or not , often it is the latter , if you act on an attraction towards another you are out which is why people keep secrets and lie as long as people are judgmental it will never change, people are judgmental and possessive and have a zero tolerance towards infidelity , but people do have feelings for others which they cannot always and do not always ignore and this is why it is a taboo subject people do not want to believe that it may be their brother or sister cousin or wife or a good friend that may be guilty of infidelity and they are oh so judgmental when it is someone else until it happens to them (hypocrisy) this is the problem why you often cannot be open and honest this is my analysis of the entire subject of infidelity

[@youtubefans510]

marriage, relationships , monogamy , expectations or even demands of others etc. etc. my god very often nothing but problems , sometimes a dog or a cat is better company

[@robbie6128]

Cheating without the guilt. Pretending to be an honest person.

[@aMae-zing]

You can still cheat in open relationships! She violated the boundaries that they set so this is just cheating, open or closed

[@Clembo]

​@@aMae-zingthere is no such thing. It is all cheating.

[@paira23]

caller loves his wife, but love and respect for yourself have to be greater than the love for your partner. betrayal like this should never be tolerated

[@rotcaka]

Got Damn!! I saw the short, but the full interview is waaayy worse. This B a H fo sho! 🤮

[@meesh1002]

Call me old fashioned but you might as well get the divorce papers out when they ask for open marriage

[@hanamas6239]

You are not old fashioned open marriage in nonsense and stupid

[@angelatandfam9308]

That’s not “old fashioned.” That’s the definition of marriage.

[@ZumbaZINJPanda]

1:33 sir. You are too passive. You need to move on. Your marriage is burned to the ground.