We Tried an Open Marriage (It Didn’t Go Well)

We Tried an Open Marriage (It Didn’t Go Well)
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[@davidgerke7150]

If your partner so much as suggests that they want to sleep with other people, the proper response is, "You can sleep with whoever you want because you're single now."

[@brandydejesus1675]

Love this.

[@joea9222]

Yep, get the hell out while it's still early. Especially when no kids are involved!

[@David-fw4ly]

That’s exactly what I did to my ex girlfriend. Once you find yourself dealing with a whore, kick them to the curb immediately.

[@coryascott]

@Jacob Rodriguez wow big strong guy here, super tough

[@216trixie]

@Jacob Rodriguez Dork

[@Lankston101]

Marriage is hard and we’re struggling. Let’s make it harder and improve our relationship by complicating it with more people.

[@ahmorgan]

Lol exactly

[@drawingdead9025]

It's crazy thinking this could help, gotta be 1 time in 20 it doesn't lead to disaster.

[@Joel-pg4yi]

She's crazy. He's even crazier with going through with this

[@andrew8168]

@@Joel-pg4yi hes not crazy, just weak. Hes for allowing it and weaker for staying.

[@rapsack7058]

Nah, the marrige is not struggling, most likely there is allready atleast emotional cheating not physical. WIth that the relationship is dead allready to a big part, the former relationship is terminated.

[@AVG336]

It's always funny when an open marriage backfires on the person that initiated it

[@kensmith2796]

True. I'm glad this man got away from this self-centered woman.

[@Dark_Souls_3]

It really does make me feel warm

[@themoongateofficial]

It’s the way it always should be to

[@midlifecrisis7888]

She’s for the streets

[@midlifecrisis7888]

Like 90% of the time the woman initiates it. Because already has somebody in mind.

[@tunkytunky]

If my husband even suggested it, I'd instantly lose all my love for him. It's such a slap in the face 😂

[@mikeanderson4555]

Yeah nothing says i love you like saying i wanna sleep with other people.

[@emilyslaton2100]

Yeah my ex fiancé suggested this and I gave him back the ring, packed my bags and moved out. I was totally done.

[@theirishcailin333]

​@emilyslaton2100 at least you weren't married

[@kwadwog8168]

What about your body your choice? Don't you deserve all the loving you can get in a life time?

[@escapethematrix10]

Ain’t no man gonna only use your useless ass

[@amandadean3948]

I had a former coworker years ago try this. She was the one that initiated it too but her husband ended up leaving her for the other woman and they got married. She was devastated and said it was the worst decision she ever made. It was a little hard to feel sorry for her when she opened that Pandora’s box in her own marriage.

[@carlaritchie331]

Exactly. She invited that risk into her marriage by turning to another man instead of working on her marriage from the beginning. Her values were not with her husband and the vow she took. There are consequences to poor decisions.

[@DannyD-lr5yg]

Aaaand that’s why people should never engage in polyamory 1) to fix a problem, or 2) by coercing or convincing the other person. Sounds like your coworker’s husband is still monogamous by nature, and she gave him permission to basically interview her own replacement 😬

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

this is typically how it ends when the wife basically forces a husband who is monogamous into this situation. This callers marriage is over. The husband doesn't look at her the same anymore, and now that he has realized he can replace her, its done. Very hard to get a man to change his feelings when he is just basically done. She is only calling in bc i have a feeling she knows this and realizes she blew up her marriage for a guy who was just using her (shocker no guy is going to take a married woman who wants to sleep with them serious).

[@letsgetjackdup9952]

Open marriages never work

[@DannyD-lr5yg]

@@letsgetjackdup9952 First, that's just objectively false. I personally know many successful nonmonogamous couples; some have an open relationship, others are polyamorous - they figure out what works best for the people involved. Secondly, a huuuuge percentage of _monogamous_ marriages don't work out, either, so.. But, thirdly, I think it'd be best for everyone - monogamous, and otherwise - if we started seeing relationship success in terms of things like: did we learn/grow alongside each other, are our lives both better for having been involved with each other, etc. While finding and maintaining a lifelong partner is the ideal/ultimate goal for most romantically-inclined people, I think we do ourselves a huge disservice by implying that JUST because a couple splits up, it means that relationship was a "waste" or a "failure."

[@ithinkigottalent4047]

It's okay to be single. She thought she was missing something until she realized she wasn't. The grass is greener where you water it.

[@jordyjustine]

She overlooks that SHE will be in that new fling which is why it won't turn out. She needs to fix her own delinquent mindset before she starts thinking it could ever work out with anyone.

[@joyaustin6581]

She realized the dating pool had pee in it.

[@camxdidxthat]

@@joyaustin6581 hilarious

[@suen5006]

No she's still missing something. Her husband isn't paying any attention to her. It takes two to make it work, and it's work.

[@trishdiggins]

The grass is greener over the septic tank, too

[@toscadonna]

It’s sickening that all of these married people are screwing up the dating pool. I’m sick to death of the married men who ask me out. You’re MARRIED! I do not want to be involved in adultery! Polyamory is NONSENSE. There is no love involved in cheating on your spouse and using single people who want to get married as emotional and physical tampons.

[@courtneyfaithmis]

I was reading this so intently until I got to “tampons” and then I burst out laughing 😂 but you’re right, that is what it is

[@williamdacosta9026]

I agree I had a woman ask me to be in an open relationship because her husband and her agreed to it well I did not say goodbye

[@Chosen302]

Exactly. Here in San Diego it is rampant

[@latulip100]

Omg yes!! Couldn’t have put it better myself I am not a living breathing sex toy/therapist who has to listen to your marital problems. Sod right off!

[@mynameisnobody3931]

Im also sick to death of all the married women asking me to come f them. My neighbor wanted me to comw f her while her hubby is away on the night shift.

[@samuelstrachan2726]

Who ever listens to their friends marriage problems and then suggests they can be their side-piece has bigger balls than anyone I know.

[@proper.role.model.819]

Sure it happens way more than we know. Not everyone gets caught.

[@Matt-cr4vv]

I hate to say they have big balls because that infers a positive quality over how big of a slimeball someone is to pretend to be a concerned ear to listen to all the ways that his supposed best friend falls short to use that as a weapon to win over his wife. The closest thing to courage he had was going to ten home that he did contribute one thing to

[@AurumBlossom]

😂😂😂

[@MRkriegs]

That's why she said YES to him lol!

[@kwadwog8168]

Balls full of jizz 😅. Their "mutual" friend suggested it, and I am sure that friend tapped it really well.

[@ashleyb1091]

She only cares about her self and her needs, then when you ask her about her husband she just says he is there. Divorce him, spare him and the damage you’ve done.

[@petesfohn5659]

SURPRISE SURPRISE

[@catherinep2034]

That's sad she doesn't even know how he feels. She wants to rebuild her marriage, but she doesn't even talk to him?

[@abbyxiong3931]

I get your point. She doesn't see being married to her husband as a union between man and woman. It's going to be hard moving forward. I hope they can both be happy.

[@trent210]

Divorce is never the answer

[@rapsack7058]

As the husband, and i get asked, my answer is go with your plans but i will also start the life of a single aswell. You obviously did alreay in your mind if you not already has been cheating. I would end the marriage/relationship right if i get asked. I may give her a a very very smal chance for reconsiliation, if i get the whole story and she is willing to do a lot of work on her self in the right direction.

[@andreweaton9021]

“I murdered our marriage but now I want to bring it back to life” holy heck…. The guy is gone, just accept it.

[@jarrod752]

A classic example of when the branch she tries to swing to breaks and when she reaches backwards the branch she let of has swung out of reach. The ground is going to hurt this one methinks!

[@mr.j3371]

For real. The woman is an idiot, husband is gone.

[@Astro95Media]

I agree ... a guy will never look at a woman the same once she sleeps with someone else.

[@midlifecrisis7888]

She’s for the streets

[@000vijackson000]

Yes it never happened to a man in a history 😂

[@honeyfurfarm2182]

I know a couple that's done this and it was obvious the wife wanted to have a relationship with someone else and the husband went along with it to try and keep her, the husband dated one lady and then hasn't ever again. Watching him suffer from the outside is terrible. He's basically staying for his daughter while his wife is literally dating his best friend. Don't do this to your partner just leave.

[@ascent8487]

She’s garbage but he’s an idiot. I’m sorry but if he’s not okay with this he should get out. Staying for the daughter? A lot of us are products of parents staying together for the kids. Divorce is sometimes better. Also does the daughter know? Kids are not as dumb as most adults seem to think. If she knows (if she doesn’t yet she probably will eventually), what’s that going to do to her? She might end of very messed up and quite frankly disgusted with her parents. I would.

[@Tgogators]

I know of something similar too. There was context to it. The wife already has a “business trip affair” with her boss, once she confessed to that being the real motivation for the “open marriage” idea. She nixed the idea but said he could have a “revenge affair…I’ll set you up with one of my friends.” Turns out part of the affair was from encouragement from her friends. Then they compromised and said they could sleep with others, long as it’s kept away from their house, etc. he got with 2 different women in 2 months. She got jealous and was taken back he was a “ladies man” (he was 33 and hooked up with some 23 year old college softball athlete). Then she wanted to call the whole thing off and move to a new city together (away from his family, no less). If you haven’t noticed it was all about control & isolating him.

[@becky5569]

​@Tgogators let's not infantilize men though, he is making his own choices too

[@alexr6470]

@@becky5569 yes, this type of men are very weak and feminized.

[@randybobandy9828]

Wtf??? She started to date his best friend? No... That is no friend anymore..

[@MamaDisco1313]

My husband tried to pull this on me, and when I said no, he started cheating. He’s became my ex really quick.

[@MarluART]

I can only imagine how hurt this guy felt when his wife said she wanted to openly cheat on him.

[@Stantorr]

No kiddin... I yet have to read a single report of a man doing that to his wife and being applauded for wanting to "explore". John seems quick to excuse her behavior on the assumption that her husband is a scumbag... "Build something new from scratch, which is awesome." FFS John, let see how you'd approach it if there was such a breach of your trust like that from your wife...

[@David-wo9un]

@@Stantorr I have yet to hear a situation where John holds a woman responsible for choices she made; there is always something that excuses the behavior.

[@MarluART]

@@David-wo9un That is something I have noticed, a bit in the normal Ramsey show too where most of the responsibility is on the guy. Good thing that their baseline advice is good or else I'd drop them instantly.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

@@David-wo9un TBH it was the husbands fault for agreeing, i would have told her "no problem i will contact divorce attorneys, best of luck."

[@ineedhoez]

To be fair, it isn't cheating.

[@chasityeverett2753]

I hate to break it to her but her husband will never think of her/their marriage in the same way again. Once you cross certain lines there’s no coming back from it.

[@David-wo9un]

💯

[@jarrod752]

Yeah people seem to think of open marriages as a switch. In reality, it's more like a fuse. From an old 1940's building. And you don't have a replacement. And you can never get one.

[@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559]

She married at 18 - that alone shows how immature they were/are. It's like the blind leading the blind.

[@ASmith-jn7kf]

@@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559 just because they married at 18? I don't think so. People get divorced at high ages and maturity is not only about age. She was obviously not wise though to marry someone in the army if she knows she wants a certain type of attention that someone would have to be present daily to experience. I think anyone who married someone in the armed forces is not wise in general though and is short sighted.

[@PunkMartyr]

This...

[@audreym3777]

Had a guy ask me what I was into (I’m single) and I said “monogamy”. He replied with “oooh that sounds kinky, what’s that!?” 🤦‍♀️

[@eesynopsis7393]

wooooooow

[@Locdluuv]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Megan6772]

He's illiterate

[@AurumBlossom]

😂😂😂🤭

[@aleeshal.9160]

Hahaha he sounds funny he might be just sarcastic clown

[@pandabear7177]

I've known 10-ish couples who chose an open marriage. Only 2 are still together. I think the only ones that "work" are those that realized it wouldn't save their relationship. If you are stepping out to "save" your relationship, your relationship is over.

[@kwadwog8168]

Perhaps you can share the details that kept the two couples together so we can learn from them. Maybe you could even let us know the details if you have tried it with their direct support.

[@MR.33133]

@@kwadwog8168 you don’t have to know because it’s a matter of time before everything falls apart

[@elfascisto6549]

​​@@MR.33133what

[@scott4825]

I've seen a few that worked, and I think the main thing is that they aren't going outside the marriage to fix the marriage, but rather they believe that sex is just sex, or they feel that it is normal to romantically love more than one person. I don't agree with it, but its very different from cheating with permission from someone who is afraid of losing their wife.

[@ludmilamaiolini6811]

Yeah, when you really think about it logically, seeing other people is something that will strain the relationship. People have to make more effort to manage their feelings and to stay connected, and if they are already having issues, they probably won’t have the resources and commitment to do that

[@Thesussysuscat]

Women who talk to another guy about marriage problems are inviting trouble and seeking for outside marraige attention

[@jilogarcia5979]

Married women shouldn't be talking to other guys period.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

This is called emotional cheating. Just like if a man talks to his "female friend" about his marriage problems. How do people not realize if you are married its supposed to be between you two. You become one. If you can't work it out then you divorce and go your separate ways.

[@karenjones8713]

Same with husbands...my ex is still married to his confidant 35 years. Although, I'm glad I'm not married to him anyway! LOL!

[@haleytruslow7200]

Exactly. She was going to cheat either way.

[@jones2277]

definitely. and the same can be said for men who talk to women about their marriage.

[@lynnreeves7748]

Marriage means absolutely nothing to so many people anymore. Just sad 😔

[@MagickIsPower]

It means everything to me.

[@KathyAlice7707]

Me too

[@kbanghart]

Lol as if cheating is a new thing. Some people have no clue.

[@ElimEx1]

Let's take to take the non hollywood approach. What do you think marriage was historically? If you say anything other than a means to improve a man's finance and politics, you need to open a history book. People have ALWAYS had a marriage for money and kids and lovers for romance, lust and love.

[@joelobeck6214]

People have completely forgotten that the point of marriage is sanctification between both people.. it’s an institution where you can safely work out your insecurities, fears and lustful tendencies.

[@Jkaye13]

Such a mockery to marriage to think that adding another lover will fix all your problems..🙄 talk about twisted thinking

[@Melting_because_of_beauty]

Yess exactly!!if i get married I just want tell her every insecurity i have, cry on her lap ,tell her how exaushting work was today and yk what? I wanna have a real serious fight with her (unintentionally) when we are so upset at each other to a point of not seeing each other and at that point i just wanna take a deep breath ignore all the hate , go to her room and give her massive hug right to bed and while she is trying to get away I'll just stay still and kiss her then we talk all night

[@kbanghart]

You think this is new?? Monogamy has never been successful

[@edgaraf9411]

​@@kbanghartwhat a nonsense answer. It works for plenty of people and works way better than poly does

[@kbanghart]

@@edgaraf9411 I never said it doesn't work for people, I said it's not very successful. Unless you consider 40 to 50% failure rate successful.

[@juanbrand4736]

My ex wife asked for open relationship I divorced her on the spot, didn't regret it I know my worth...my ex wife never been the same...you cannot fix people with a broken childhood...the wholesome love you give them they don't know how to handle it as a man I can only complement my spouse's life not fix it....if you ever marry make sure you as a couple have the same values

[@gregnagy7569]

Done exactly how it should be done.....

[@heatherchandler1184]

Sorry that happened to you. That said, please don’t lump people with broken childhoods together. Some of us actually put in the work to end generational curses and heal.

[@elinat7836]

🙌

[@S2C8509]

"Blame Covid, or *deployments* " Not even a pandemic will stop Jody.

[@bee12355]

There’s no accountability for her actions. Covid did it

[@chucknv5482]

I just imagine some specialist weaseling his way in at the gym and convincing her he will solve her problems by sleeping with her, with his permission lol. Husband was probably done anyways and figured he would collect the BAH with dep while she did her thing 😂.

[@petesfohn5659]

ho ho ho

[@garrettmorano3038]

🤣 Only enemy the military hasn't been able to defeat.

[@Alibern7]

Who’s Jody?

[@same.7939]

Right out the gate she opens with lack of accountability- “blame it on this or that, just not on me!” Also, the only reason she now wants to work on the marriage is the idea that SHE came up with is no longer working out for her. Smh.

[@bongbong12345]

@9INE PLANETS It usually means she's already cheating.

[@ThatRandomDude400]

Facts. RIP K.S

[@marc9149]

zero accountability. It was all about making sure she got what she wanted. Making her feelings #1 not her marriage.

[@jarrod752]

@9INE PLANETS It's a marriage. You need about a year to set new financial patterns so that you can get divorced without any cancerous financial appendages. Let her go full affair fog and just get out as cheaply and patiently as possible.

[@mekeiawatson]

And she's going to do it again

[@ziahreid9269]

He came in and saved her from a broken home. Went on deployment providing for her, and she did that to him? He agreed to it to make her "happy'. What a joke. I hope he finds the strength to take his manhood back and tell her to kick rocks.

[@christinewatson1989]

If you're with someone who suggests an open relationship, you're with someone DEEPLY selfish and emotionally abusive. Period.

[@viviennedunbar3374]

Yep, your relationship is over. Leave.

[@debbiehopper5288]

Very true

[@charlienebrown4853]

That is not always true.

[@FilthyMcNasty69]

Delusional

[@vprez4925]

I have male friends who are in a sexless marriage. One in particular loves his wife and thinks she's a great mom, but they have sex maybe twice a year. He's deeply hurt by it. He tried to get her a therapist and couple's counseling, but she refused to resolve the issue. She's perfectly fine not having sex. He's not fine. She gave him the go to seek sex elsewhere, but he'd rather have it from her.

[@peterteixeira2893]

John's videos have the best titles on KZbin and they aren't even click bait😄

[@petesfohn5659]

you see the norms/expectations of BOTH males & females

[@Coastpsych_fi99]

Makes me so grateful to be single when I hear this 😆

[@skincareceo]

Right and his facial expression in the thumbnail also makes me click 😂

[@TheDaumWorld]

@@Coastpsych_fi99 yeah nah. Being 50s alone at a home with no children to grow and make more legends. Nah that ain’t it

[@offensivediscourse8514]

@@TheDaumWorld it's not great but it's better than being trapped in n abusive relationship.

[@jilogarcia5979]

He should divorce her immediately.

[@JP-uy9kq]

Pretty much this. If John was any type of real man, he'd tell her to have the husband call and he will work with it that way.

[@randybobandy9828]

He should have divorced her the first time she mentioned it

[@alexr6470]

​@@randybobandy9828exactly

[@TheAgentmigs]

I mean, she would get half tho. So there's that.

[@izziereal2010]

​@@TheAgentmigsit's a small price to pay to divorce her now, split the assets, then to stay in the marriage, later get the divorce, and give her more assets and alimony due to the longevity of the marriage. The guy needs to cut his losses.

[@davidw2857]

“Open” in “open marriage” means “the door is open to leave because I have one foot out.” Keep striding, sister.

[@brendamoon2660]

These situations start with ego. The one wanting an open relationship feels dissatisfied with their partner because they see themselves as being more desirable. When it turns out the partner is more marketable they feel ripped off. If her husband waited at home while she had a great dating life she wouldn't be unhappy with the open marriage

[@martymcfly88mph35]

Bingo! Excellent comment Brenda, worded that excellently.

[@hs5167]

Geez! I’m not sure how a marriage comes back from something like that… I’ve been married for over 25 years and I just can’t imagine even think how an open marriage could possibly make things better?

[@zainafyl]

@Bart Jenkins exactly!!!!

[@blahblahblah4544]

Some people don't have a good upbringing and example.

[@sarahgardner535]

22 years and neither can I.

[@davidlatting3789]

Things don’t get better, they get worse. I’ve seen so many stories about people who decide to try this and it ends in disaster, divorce and a lot of bitterness.

[@kwadwog8168]

What about your rights to experience all the love you can get? It is not like the equipment gets finished when the open partners use it too 😮. Let us encourage those who want to experience this to do so. We don't have enough numbers to make more conclusive. 😊

[@willarmendariz7663]

Translation: I wanted to upgrade, but the man I cheated with was a downgrade, now my husband upgraded and doesn't want me back because the woman he's with is better and younger and hotter than me and I'm going absolutely insane because I'VE BEEN REPLACED AND I CAN'T STAND IT AND I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE AND NOW I DON'T WANT TO TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY FIR MY ACTIONS!!! DELONY PLEASE TALK TO HIM TO GET HIM BACK!!!!

[@ryannau1756]

Exactly

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Yep!!!

[@AmitPatel_.]

💯 if he were my friend or relative I’m advising him to get rid of this garden tool.

[@Melissa.712]

@@AmitPatel_. "garden tool" lmfao 😆😂 that's awesome.

[@Hueyn42]

@@AmitPatel_. man that is a great one. I'm going to have to use that

[@avaglynn1]

I hate when people blame their failed marriage on getting married young. Plenty of marriages fail when they get married older. And plenty of marriages thrive when they get married young. It has nothing to do with age and everything to do with maturity.

[@tammyicious]

Excellent point... it's like they are using marrying young as an excuse. 👍

[@Imissnormal]

It boils down to putting themselves before anyone else.

[@11118msn]

Immature and not having the skills needed to thrive, can happen at any age

[@RaeBehrs]

Amen! I was 18 and my husband was 20. We have been married for 10 years now, and we have a thriving, healthy, vibrant marriage and have been blessed with four beautiful children. Having discussed nonnegotiable issues, worldview, vision for the future, and having a biblical understanding of marriage was all established before we got engaged. That has given us a strong foundation. Lord willing, by His grace, we will be together for the rest of our lives.

[@jacksgl777]

I think the reason people blame some divorces having happened because they married young, is because they married young. When these particular couples divorce they realize the biggest reason is because they all along had issues due to a difference in values. When people are young they don’t realize just how true and to what values that really pull at them. When they become about 25-27, they’re getting a much clearer picture of how important their values are. So, yeah, that’s something that mainly occurs to younger couples but others can go the same issues, but not as highly as the young.

[@jamesdotson1080]

The good Doctor had zero issue calling out her "boyfriend" multiple times, yet he NEVER held her responsible for HER part in what was happened. How about a little honesty and telling her she doesn't have a marriage to save.

[@peekaboots01]

He's soft on female callers.

[@elfascisto6549]

You can start your own show if you want

[@brianmcdonald7017]

Because he's a simp.

[@brianmcdonald7017]

​@elfascisto6549 only simps are allowed to have mainstream shows. Being masculine is a big no no

[@lenitaa7938]

She already feels shame! She knows she messed up big time! Why beat her up more!? How would that help? He is a therapist and is trying to get her back on track! She is looking for guidance! She wants to save her marriage !

[@calebshipley4448]

“We had problems in our marriage, so we decided to fix it by completely abandoning all sense of commitment.” Huh??

[@zeal4god402]

the frailty of human wisdom

[@same.7939]

Lol the way you put it 😂

[@SidewaysEightSix]

The worst part of any disloyalty is watching the person you love give information you desperately need… to another man.

[@CE-vd2px]

What info did he desperately need?

[@SidewaysEightSix]

@@CE-vd2px everything she talked about. Her wants, her needs, her feelings. She hid all of it from her husband leaving him in the dark, but gave it all to the new guy, then threw it back in her husbands face as if to say “See?! HE gives me things.” But she never gave her husband that information

[@CE-vd2px]

@@SidewaysEightSix ah, i see.

[@Danny-sx6cj]

YEP

[@matt3247]

And then had the audacity to blame covid and deployments. Put her on the streets. Zero accountability on this one.

[@7somekindofsomething]

This channel is the positive influence so many of us need in a society devoid of morals.

[@jaber-id6sy]

amen

[@martymcfly88mph35]

"Polyamory is so new and exciting! It sounds so great!" I've never, ever seen it work out well lol. Not on the long term, and rarely even the short term.

[@javiermorales365]

Polyamory will never work unless you are just messing around with a bf/gf and having fun with it. If you actually care for the person 99% it should bother you if they even kiss another person.

[@user-mf4gz3sp1q]

...the "amory" part is the problem...

[@invisiblespirit5476]

Weird, it’s almost as if humans are a monogamous species…

[@Gentilejedi]

My parents knew a couple (back in the 70s) that had a 4some and 2 of them guy/girl started hooking up privately. The one friend my parents said, he was at their house in tears he made a big mistake but he and his wife worked through their marriage. The the other woman was a serial cheater.

[@TedFarabee]

Why was she talking to another man about her sex life? In most marriages there is a firecracker and a dud. No marriage partner can make you passionately happy all the time. That’s why the commitment is made. Sometimes it’s wonderful. Sometimes you fall asleep snuggling on the couch, exhausted. Sleeping with someone else doesn’t help anyone, but sure brings resentment and deep hurt. I would be devastated if my wife wanted someone else. She said no to me until marriage. That’s why I married her. Because she’s the real deal. 32 years and I love her more today.

[@bjkarana]

oh so true; but I'd say: _In most marriages there is a man and a woman_

[@Living4YHWH]

@@bjkarana In ALL marriages, there is a man and a woman. Marriage is a covenant between one man and one woman. 😉

[@letsgetjackdup9952]

That's so beautiful. Dont let that woman go.

[@bjkarana]

​@@Living4YHWH I don't exclude our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters from being married, hence the "most" qualifier.

[@Living4YHWH]

@@bjkarana Except that scenario isn't actually marriage. You can change a definition in a dictionary but that doesn't change reality. God made marriage one man and one woman and no power on earth can overcome His design.

[@SarahR2D2]

She went to the streets and got rejected by the streets and now she came back with a bunch of flea's. Her husband said he's done but I'm pretty sure pandoras box is now open no pun intended.

[@petesfohn5659]

XX NPC common sit

[@ineedhoez]

😂😂😂

[@ma8839]

She isn’t getting the action she wants, so she wants to end it. If the script was flipped, she would still have the open marriage. 100%

[@mattyyoungcloudsart3008]

When she said her husband was just "there" when asked how he was..that told me all I needed to know. I feel the poor dude.

[@Jkaye13]

Right..? That was just sad.. She's for the streets

[@jacksgl777]

When she said that, to me it meant he’s not very active in participating in their relationship. So, yeah, he’s just “there”

[@216trixie]

The guy she cheated with ended up not treating her well? Who'd be surprised? Why should he respect her. She was willing to sleep around on her husband.

[@humansvd3269]

And she still kept in contact 8 months after she stopped sleeping with him!!!

[@marteumar8429]

Yup and he was not evil and manipulative like John said, she wasn’t “taken advantage” of, she was stupid just that. He wanted to bang her, nothing evil about that. She, a married woman, wanted to be banged by him, that’s what is wrong. The other guy didn’t own her husband fidelity, they were not married, she was the one who owned her husband fidelity. I’m pissed how he excuse her bad decisions all the way through. She’s not a victim

[@elfascisto6549]

​@@marteumar8429 he wanted to bang a married woman. That's what's evil about that

[@tamelaparton1007]

And now she doesn’t like her husband having someone🤔

[@Rydrsv]

It makes me sad that many marriages don’t involve commitment anymore. Now it’s when things get tough, just go find someone else. How about choosing to love each other even when you don’t feel like it [cause our feelings change constantly] and fighting for your marriage / working towards reconciliation. I know there are always exceptions but still…

[@zeal4god402]

AMEEEEEEEN Revelation 2:4-5 Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love. Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.

[@Brandnnzzz]

It's more harder than that than you may think. When you you may feel you have your match but not having a need of intimacy is very challenging. It's childish to say but it's really like eating pizza at the same place every single day... Sometimes you need to try different things, It more than often doesn't work but It's a unrealistic standard to leave a fully invested situation for a short term sexual encounter. It doesn't justify it to be right or wrong, The perspective isn't fully understood or considered

[@SarahR2D2]

@@Brandnnzzz do those pizza toppings include hpv, HIV, gonorrhea, herpes..... Protection? There is no self control when you are out of control

[@nickstrapko7549]

some people cant ride a bike with 2 wheels

[@dr.bradshaw]

We live in an overly sexualized society, temptation is unreal these days and it’s easier than ever to allow it to control you.

[@Sarah-dq1fm]

Congrats…you played yourself.

[@michaelwoods4495]

This woman is nuts! Real adults make commitments and keep their promises. Wife and I have sometimes entertained a thought or two, or at least I suppose so, but we don't act on them and eventually fidelity becomes a habit. The satisfaction of knowing we're loyal exceeds anything I can imagine from playing around.

[@midlifecrisis7888]

She’s for the streets

[@rosas5365]

Wow MichaelWoods your statement is awesome

[@frank1fm634]

Michael Woods I saw your comment.This how I also think.This woman in certified 100% nuts.

[@johnhorner1969]

There is more to a relationship than just “you made a promise…” if a relationship isn’t working for one party, there has to be open communication. You have to say “I’m feeling this way or this or that isn’t working for me.” And then you address it or you will find that the relationship can’t continue. It’s so ridiculous to hold the belief that marriage is a binding contract that has to be kept regardless of whatever happens or changes during life. Your opinion about marriage seems so unhealthy.

[@michaelwoods4495]

@@johnhorner1969 It's worked for us so far. 54 years so far!

[@songohan9240]

This is typical , she decided she wants to have sex outside of the marriage so she allowed him too as well , her thing didn’t go so good , and she got jealous that his thing with someone else was going better probably. Now she wants to work on her marriage.

[@Yassin.ibn.farouk]

Yea exactly. And it was her idea to begin with. So typical.

[@ivanlogo4901]

Woman moment?

[@ericprieto4348]

facts

[@SnowOwlCNY]

Yea, she recked her marriage for a bad boy who abused her and now wants her good boy husband to take her back. She choose not to love husband and to disrespect him

[@xXVegetaXx]

I agree with kakarots offspring I hope the guy doesn’t take her back. Her little “need” to be with another man didn’t go so well so now the husband is plan B and she’s jealous that his fling was going well. I say it’s too late and the husband should leave her.

[@elainenilsson5472]

Nothing like having an open affair and expecting things to work out. And at no point did you think that this might not be a good idea.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

Ya she barely goes over the fact she was putting her "marriage problems" on a "friend". This is called emotional cheating.

[@elainenilsson5472]

@@johnsmith-kt7ef Agree, and she just happens to interested in having sex with this guy.

[@fancynancy2888]

You would think if she could/would not discuss marital issues with her husband, she should have sought out advice first from a professional (counselor/therapist/pyschologist) or a religious/faith leader, if she has one.

[@kpeggs82]

She already had the new partner in mind when she proposed this nonsense. The husband is likely out the door at least mentally already.

[@elainenilsson5472]

@@fancynancy2888 That would defeat her purpose. She wanted to legally fool around. Most likely will backfire.

[@karynpate800]

Dr John is exactly right...day to day make a decision to be alive with your husband, it is totally worth it, have happily married 48 years.

[@gmarie3053]

Wow 🤩

[@abubarrie88]

So you didn’t want to fix your relationship before when the open relationship was working for you but now that it’s not working for you is when you want to put in effort to fixing your relationship 😂

[@viviennedunbar3374]

100%. What a piece of work.

[@Jkaye13]

She's for the streets

[@elfua9158]

I wonder what’s worse… your wife telling you that YOUR friend suggested he sleeps with her? Her venting to the friend in the 1st place? Or your wife actually coming to you with this suggestion…

[@petesfohn5659]

well said brother

[@nickysunshine8734]

Damn it was her husband friend? She is ruthless. 😅😅… the whole thing is terrible.

[@landondean4701]

Or, you going through with it

[@Texan_Gal]

Yup. Yup.

[@YieldOfDreamz]

She was venting to him because she knew he wanted her and she already wanted him (you can always tell). She had a plan from the get go. She does not love her husband at all, she just realized that he treats her decently and the other guy just used her box so now she wants to fix it. If his friend was good to her she would still be sleeping with him if not already with him permanently. She hedged her bets because she knew the husband was weak.

[@misslinda772]

Remember: Into every relationship …. You bring yourself.

[@juarezk99]

Thats amazing. Plse elaborated

[@misslinda772]

For every relationship, you bring your emotional baggage. It affects the people you attract, and the way you react to others.

[@agricolaregs]

Yep. She’s the problem.

[@lolgriffin3243]

Despite what our culture tells you, we aren't made to engage is BS.

[@veronicav575]

She needs to acknowledge to him what she did, which was cheat, and repent of it. There’s no healing from that or anything else until she does. She can’t just decide “oh, I’m just gonna put down that shame and move on”. She damaged her marriage, she needs to acknowledge that. She’s ashamed for a real valid reason.

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

Relationships don’t solve problems, it reveals them .

[@davidandamandaboots]

What a mess! As marriages and families all around us crumble, I'm reminded to be so very thankful for biblical truth and wisdom.

[@sueblack5794]

Biblical truth...multiple wives and over 700 hundred concubines for one man. No one ever talks about those Biblical marriages do they? Bible loves talking about polyamory.

[@basednwhitepilld]

@@sueblack5794 old testament is there to teach us what not to do.

[@sueblack5794]

@@basednwhitepilld Yes...that is what Christians always conveniently like to say. Old testament is a whole lot more than just teaching us what not to do. It is the story/history of God and his relationship with people from the very beginning. Christ himself used the OT in most of his teachings and referred to it often. It is called "breathed by God in the New Testament in the book of John. You dismissing it as nothing more than "teaching us what not to do" is dismissing who God was and is.

[@BonnieM93]

@@sueblack5794 God always wanted it to be one man and one woman. Sin caused men to disobey God.

[@dianeathoacardinalridge8788]

@@sueblack5794 Christ reiterated the model - male and female, leave and cleave from parents, partnered for life and the nucleus for the family. I’m paraphrasing, of course.

[@OleGeezerCirca1941]

People can have an open marriage? I feel like a schmuck by being exclusively married to the same woman for almost 57 years!!! 👫💘💘

[@viviennedunbar3374]

27 years and still going strong. If there is more than two people in the marriage it’s no longer a marriage in my book.

[@Jkaye13]

No they can't have an open marriage.. a marriage is between two people and cannot sustain adding more people to the equation .. You have chosen the better way.. what you have is the real deal, and the way it was meant to be 👍🏻. This girl bought the lie that she could have her cake and eat it to..

[@andrewjackson9948]

The person who initiates these things already has someone they wanted to cheat on you with and theyre trying to find a way to also make it your fault. Its absurd.

[@otisdriftwood6723]

I had an open marriage to but my wife forgot to tell me about it

[@dgkallday9]

That’s just an “entanglement”. Celebrities do it so that means it’s ok! 😉

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

:( Glad you can joke about it.

[@jcvchristianson1161]

Same with my (former) husband. Alley cats gonna cat.

[@doubleRRking]

@@colmwhateveryoulike3240 Time 😇

[@otisdriftwood6723]

@@jcvchristianson1161 🤣🤣🤣 it would be nice if they had left us in on it huh LOL

[@nikkole9951]

What is wrong with people? This is crazy. Why be married if you want to sleep with other people? Doesn’t matter what the circumstances are.

[@quelquun2018]

@WheresPaul#1981 right!!! they had their own issues prior to covid.

[@Evil-Rod-Farva]

Because the family court system has a 50-year record of incentivizing women to have poor behavior in marriages because no matter what, they win. They can have Chad’s pipe and Brad’s money. If no-fault divorce disappeared, so would this behavior.

[@ineedhoez]

I mean... I am not opposed to it. I am sexually attracted to other people all of the time. I can understand why you may want to explore. I just couldn't imagine doing it when my marriage is a hot mess

[@sobeliever1638]

@@Evil-Rod-Farva pretty sure there are other factors involved here. This is a morality issue.

[@Evil-Rod-Farva]

@@sobeliever1638 Which is why it’s important to have a court system that enforces them and is just for the greater good and not just for a woman’s whim at the time. If the party that initiated divorce 4/5 times suffered a little more from that decision, they would think twice before entering and exiting marriages. Thankfully young men are doing a lot of the court’s work for them and just aren’t signing the marital contract.

[@justinc.3385]

Ouch, I feel bad for that guy. That’s rough. I had an ex want an open relationship and I went with it. Luckily she stopped it as I was out looking for someone. Learned my lesson, when someone asks this then the relationship is over. Time to move on.

[@billyjohnson9166]

Dr. John don’t blame it on the other guy. It’s all her fault 100%.

[@javierhuizar4207]

The grass is not always greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it. She chose to stop trying with her husband.

[@cosmiqshy8941]

🎯

[@janelleg597]

The same patch of grass gets really old after decades of use

[@javierhuizar4207]

@@janelleg597 No, you just choose to not put effort into watering and caring for the grass and let it get old. Flames run out when you stop adding fuel to the fire. You cannot expect the fire to keep going if you aren't putting effort into it.

[@magnusmagnusson146]

@@javierhuizar4207 But what if the man is just trying to lay some seed in other soil? Maybe he has enough time to tend to other grass. Why cant they both be green?

[@hannahmcintosh5343]

@@magnusmagnusson146 You have a finite amount of water in your bucket. If you try to make it stretch over twice as much grass then neither patch will flourish and you will begin to crumble over how hard you are working for diminishing rewards. You could perhaps go through the motions with 2 partners, but it is impossible to have a mature and fulfilling relationship with 2 people at once over a meaningful length of time. It's not sustainable.

[@justlivelovelaughfrugally]

If I was him, I would divorce her. She wanted fun, thought the grass was greener on the other side. It wasn’t. Now, she’s looking for sympathy.

[@7somekindofsomething]

All my friends in open relationships who tell me “It’s the way. Monotony isn’t natural”, all I see is them arguing about situations with other people in clubs, jealousy etc. I’m there are some open couples who could prove to me it sometimes works, but personally not for me, and not for most people who think it’s right for them either.

[@viviennedunbar3374]

@@troyhaileyexactly, who wants “friends”like that? Not me!

[@paulmckenzie4103]

It's not uncommon in other societies for a partner to have more than one lover.

[@geometerfpv2804]

​@paulmckenzie4103 ...you mean like the kind of societies where women can be stoned for adultery? 🙄

[@invisiblespirit5476]

@@paulmckenzie4103 That’s the minority. Children do best when their parents are monogamous, and that’s why humans became that way.

[@viviennedunbar3374]

OMG we have been married 27 years, both of us would be horrified and devastated if the other suggested an “Open Marriage” the marriage would be dead on arrival. I have such an awesome husband and he is is crazy about me, why the hell would I do such a stupid, stupid thing? People are insane.

[@lenitaa7938]

Now, u are just plain bragging and acting superior! Many married people are hurting for whatever reason , feel ignored or mistreated by their spouses, etc! Just because u got lucky with ur spouse, do not devalue other people’s bad experiences in their marriages! People do not explore the idea of an ‘open marriage’ when they are ‘happy’ in their marriage! As u ought to know! Try to have empathy for people who are hurting and disillusioned with their relationships! Telling them how ‘wonderful and perfect’ ur own marriage is , is definitely not the way! It’s like pouring acid on their wounds!

[@kpeggs82]

Single or married these stories are always a dumpster fire you can’t turn away from.

[@kcourtney6826]

She acknowledges the marriage was broken and she now wants to fix it, I wish she’d come to this conclusion before suggesting sleeping with other people. Marriage is a covenant, it is not easy by any means, but it’s a commitment and trust and loyalty are a big part of it. I hope their marriage survives.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

she was already cheating by confiding in a "friend" about her marriage problems instead of her husband.

[@davidlatting3789]

She should’ve never discussed her marriage with another man. If you have issues, you talk to your significant other. Once again it’s the woman who suggested opening the marriage because she already had a guy waiting that she thought was so great. She finds out he isn’t great at all and NOW she wants to work on the marriage like she should’ve done in the first place. These things always end in a train wreck.

[@vladnation]

I hope they find people they deserve, this marriage can't and shouldn't be saved

[@ascent8487]

Why would you ever want this marriage to be saved? This woman should be and stay single. She can bone everyone she wants that way. Casually boning is made for such people. No real problems to ever have to work through. No real commitment. It’s perfect.

[@janeeyx5672]

She had options then. Now she doesn’t and wants to work on the marriage 🤣🤣

[@BRV2728]

Crazy how life works. Sometimes these are the stories that keep me away from getting married, seeing my parents relationship doesn’t help either. I feel like I’d be happier single than married

[@LisaLisaCJ]

You would be. I’m single after many years of marriage only to have my heart stomped on. I don’t think I could ever do it again.

[@ntmn8444]

Life is one big risk. If you avoid something just because it’s risky and hard, you’ll never grow as a person and you might as well never get up from bed. Marriage is good. But it requires discernment, commitment, and maturity. Marry a woman who shares your values, not because she’s hot or because the sex is good. Those are usually the reasons why people choose to marry another, and they’re not valid reasons. Those things tend to fade with time. If you marry someone who shares your values, you’ll never have to worry about something like this.

[@ineedhoez]

It is a risk but dying alone with no family will suck way more. I am going to take my chances. Do the hard work of being emotionally healthy and finding another healthy person to build with. I will follow Delony's advice on how to create good communication and not get caught in a rut. If it fails, so be it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You can't trust that you will never get hurt. You just have to trust that you are strong enough to survive. This situation could be avoided by doing the following: 1. Don't pick a broken person. If you have to send the person to therapy, so be it. Do your best to make sure the person is healed and able to be in a real relationship. 2. Have standards and boundaries!!!! You wont be able to protect against everything. However, you should love yourself enough to walk away. You love yourself and value your life enough, NOT to let your relationship fall into such disrepair. You have to love yourself enough to say NO! Yes, it will suck, to have to end your marriage, but you will do it because you love and value yourself. You will sleep good at night. You wont allow your partner to sleep with other people because you are codependent and are scared to be alone.

[@ntmn8444]

@@ineedhoez I disagree on the broken person part. All humans are broken. Everyone. I suffered sexual abuse, and my husband suffered from an abortion his ex girlfriend had. Of the two of us, he’s more broken, because abortion is devastating. It’s so much worse than what I could’ve ever experienced as a sexual assault survivor, and my experience was pretty bad. We are pregnant now, and he is still dealing with the effects of that abortion. It hurts. But I think this baby is an opportunity for him to heal his wounds and move forward. I’m deeply spiritual, and it’s things like this that have gotten me to understand the devastating effects of sin. More compassion for our fellow man/woman is needed. Everyone is deserving of finding love tho. What that looks like is different for each person, but if you’re called to marriage, absolutely it can be a healing experience with the right person.

[@Cesar-pq2ck]

Everything that has potential to be amazing will have risks. I’ve been with my wife for 25yrs and I love marriage. But that’s only possible by understanding that that same person could be your worst enemy; “it’s a very thin line between love and hate” is the saying and marriage is a great example of that. So because of that marriage is what you make it intentionally. YOU are not your parents, don’t make that an excuse. You know what they did wrong so just make sure you don’t do those same things. And find mentors that love being married and get their wisdom.

[@aruglaempire2518]

I'll blame HER.

[@hupomone0609]

Once it’s open it’s no longer a marriage, call it something else🙆‍♀️

[@LisaLisaCJ]

Once a third party enters its no longer a marriage period

[@AliPi7]

An entanglement 😂

[@jarrod752]

_Open: accepting of outside influences._ _Marriage: A legal agreement between a man and a woman to live together and share resources for the sake of children._ I think _Open marriage_ is the correct phrase to use, unless you think something like _pre-divorce_ is more descriptive...

[@ellydenis6821]

Like a house without a roof and only 3 walls

[@jarrod752]

@@ellydenis6821 that's called a lawsuit.

[@bazd313]

Let me resolve my marriage issues by sleeping with my husbands friend. This is arrogance to a whole new level. There is no perfect marriage so you might as well work on the negativity in the relationship instead of finding it somewhere else. I dont think he's gonna look at her the same.

[@zainafyl]

The whole idea of open relationships just makes things worse, whether it’s affecting the person who wants to go along with it or their partner or even the person they’re looking to for their sexual needs, it’s all gonna end in a mess !

[@GameChanger597]

The respect for her is gone bc of what she was willing to do to their marriage, while he still retains respect in her eyes bc now he's the nice guy who didn't treat her like her crummy bf. This is disgusting.

[@sagauer]

Yeah, and then come back and be "honest" about the details... this is another level lol

[@daisywares1]

I'm 65 years old and have never once heard of an open marriage that was good for everyone involved. Or even OK for everyone involved. Open marriage = single.

[@awesomeninja9433]

It's a really good thing that I don't have the job Dr. John Deloney does, because if this girl called and told me she started an open marriage, I would've been like, "What are you, stupid?"

[@vanessaescoto3887]

The Lord is the only marriage healer. Nothing else will work and will Still leave you empty.

[@JaketheJust]

There’s a reason why one of the vows says, “forsaking all others.”

[@kevkev2380]

Good sir I agree completely, but I'm pretty sure these people aren't following biblical principles in the least.

[@ramcharge2704]

Most often "Christians " who go to church all the time are the ones who make the big mistakes like this ( not always) but but they make bad choices and sometimes want to work them out

[@alex225able]

Kudos to John for listening and getting through this call. So many people are already calling it for what it is .

[@jayfaisa3171]

My ex-girlfriend basically wanted this but fortunately the other guy she was chasing didn’t want her… and neither did I. Pathetic.

[@Jkaye13]

Sweet! 😂 ..you dodged a bullet there!

[@GardenerEarthGuy]

The husband has no respect for her any longer- she broke marriage vows and there's no fixing this.

[@drazicmilosovic1065]

Play stupid games - win stupid prizes. Obligation is what an adult uses to balance off gratification, so as to not destroy what is already a challenging endeavour.

[@CherryLipgloss1000]

Marriage is not easy!! The lust at the beginning goes. Stepping out of your marriage with someone else is totally pointless, as pretty soon that lust will fizzle out too. What are you left with then?! Be faithful. If you’re frustrated - SAY!! There is SO much you can do. This is coming from someone who has been with my husband for 15 years. I’m ashamed to admit at one point, I was repulsed by the thought of sex with my man. That scared me so much. So, I put my big girls pants on and focused on making it work. I was totally honest with myself and with him. He is a good man, heard me & we committed to improving things. Day by day. Marriage is a dance, it needs to be learned and relearned.

[@wildonez3076]

Don't build on lust! That's the problem! Lust has no place in marriage. Lust will never be satisfied. Replace lust with love and healing!

[@Jkaye13]

Agreed! I've been in the same spot with my husband.. married 35 years. Love is a choice to stay with the man you made a commitment with, despite changing feelings... I have gone through dry periods where l didn't feel like l loved my husband.. but l knew that it was because we were both running 100 mph in what felt like opposite directions.. him trying to work hard to provide for his family, and me trying to keep up a house full of five children.. there are some lonely times in every marriage.. not once did l ever think that bringing another person into the marriage would help it.. I thought we should separate for a short time just to think things out, but my husband was adamant that separating was one step short of divorce, and that living in the same house would force us to work through our issues.. we never did separate.. we worked it out.

[@hmmlemeeshink]

So, only reason she "got back" to her husband was because the "boyfriend" treated her bad. No. Goodbye. I would not have you back lassie.

[@hansonallie]

I feel like some ppl forget that shame can have its appropriate place…

[@belindagarza3958]

I keep telling people that shame can be a healthy , useful emotion.

[@fauxbro1983]

Lol. The husband was getting more play then her, so now she's upset hahaha

[@juneelle370]

You have an active imagination😂

[@mr.j3371]

Been reading a ton of reddit stories and in open relationships men end up winning.

[@dianeathoacardinalridge8788]

@@mr.j3371 tell that to Will Smith

[@mr.j3371]

@@dianeathoacardinalridge8788 lol, but in my comment I did say “men” haha

[@fremontpathfinder8463]

People seem to be getting more and more superficial. It makes me grateful for the parents I had

[@xfaroutzx3637]

Wow...this woman's husband loves her to no end. For a man to step aside and allow you to have a boyfriend who he has to listen to you talk about and sleep with, that man must be so in love. I can't even image the pain that he suffered watching all this. He only went and found a partner as a way to numb the pain and distract himself. Poor thing. Girl you better grab onto that man tight, kiss him and tell him you love him every single day and spend the rest of your waking days making it up to him.

[@nryanmusic]

thats not love

[@jborrego2406]

No he needs to leave he dumps his gf . Next month she will find another man lol

[@stevecarey2030]

The husband doesn't love her. He loves not being alone and it's easier to stay with her than finding someone else. he has low self esteem.

[@lenitaa7938]

He is way too passive about this!

[@wongtong6315]

Don’t say we! You said it yourself, you told your husband and he agreed just to make you happy.

[@nightfangs2910]

The fact that he agreed to this is what bothers me, obviously this guy has zero self worth and respect for himself

[@JP-uy9kq]

Regardless of his answer, its over. Saying yes might buy him time for a proper escape plan.

[@ineedhoez]

That is on him. He is grown. She asked. He lied.

[@avilla4013]

I'm starting to see this more and more, mainly with couples who got together very early. It's like they feel like they're missing out especially nowadays where the majority are single and having multiple partners. She found out the grass ain't greener on the other side. Now she's trying to backtrack and say "SIKE. I was just playing"! Her husband probably had a better experience and she probably thought she was gonna be left behind. Maybe she's better off single. These are all my guesses though. Just sucks that marriages are broken up for some temporary fun.

[@sueblack5794]

Here is the sad truth...a LOT of women marry men they don't love. They marry to marry, marry because that is what you are supposed to do, marry the first man who asks. Then end up miserable the older they get because they married an idea rather than the person.

[@petesfohn5659]

"they'' you mean ''she''

[@chrissmarie455]

I mean I have been with my husband since I was 16 I don’t really think that’s the issue I think it’s more of her lack of maturity in general, if she thought the grass was greener on the other side that just shows she is naive and didn’t take accountability for issues in their marriage, blaming childhood trauma seems like a scape goat. She wanted to try out other men that’s it. She was bored and needed a hobby that didn’t involve sleeping with someone else

[@belindagarza3958]

Dont blame it on early marriage. I've seen plenty of young marriages work beautifully. Its immaturity thats the problem.

[@jones2277]

i think you're spot on. i saw this situation from the other standpoint. a colleague's husband asked to open things up. she didn't want to but felt she had to. they even had a spare room for their trysts. his flame was hot but it burned out fast. he basically had an excuse to sleep with his hot coworker, but she wasn't interested in anything beyond a quick hookup. turns out she just got off on the flirting. anyway, the wife eventually met someone and they're still going strong while her husband's tryst is over. he can't find anyone else. i think he just comes across as trying too hard and creepy. meanwhile, the wife's boyfriend practically lives in their spare room bc he's over all the time.

[@Jonathan01233]

So she expects open marriage when she wants now she wants to close the marriage when she wants.

[@terriekaufman3681]

I had lived this lifestyle for several years back in the 80's and I feel as if I am the poster child for this insanity. Soon my book, "You Want to What", will be out and explain this does not work and why! Yep that was my comment when my "former" husband told me what he wanted to do.

[@Diana734]

If you cannot be faithful...STOP getting married!

[@Jkaye13]

But she needs someone to support her.. so sad for the husband, who is being used to the maxxx!

[@David-wo9un]

How could anyone be OK with their wife being intimate with another dude? Even if he went along with it to keep her happy, how/why would he want to touch her when she came home from a rendezvous?

[@petesfohn5659]

nope.....monk--mode

[@ineedhoez]

Right? Just gross

[@Jkaye13]

Sewer pit! 🤮🤮

[@lenitaa7938]

His passivity was his downfall! She may have interpreted it as his not caring about her nor their relationship ! If he had acted decisively and rejected her suggestion outright and instead discussed together how to improve their marriage, etc, she would have likely been impressed and agreed with him, recommitting to each other!

[@Psyshimmer]

@@lenitaa7938 Or her lack of commitment was her downfall. You're assigning zero agency and responsibility to the woman and all of it to the man.

[@michelleeaton9282]

I cannot comprehend criminal minds… and the destructive nature of the choices “bad actors” make… like killing another person or robbing a bank. It’s absolutely unfathomable to me. Similarly, I have no ability to understand the purposeful destruction of a marriage relationship. There is no recovery from the profound betrayal caused by infidelity. This woman is a toxic, dysfunctional, danger to herself and all others. Her only option is to continue with therapy and hope for the recovery required to be a functional, safe, and productive member of society. This situation is completely horrifying. I disagree with the therapist here.

[@fuse911]

Man here we go my boy john tryna keep this world right by answering the craziest questions

[@carlaritchie331]

She still sounds like she is filled with excuses, blaming everything/everyone else, justifying her poor decision and the consequences she's now facing. Is she sincerely remorseful that she turned away from her marriage or still just wanting what she can't have in the moment? If she doesn't even care enough about her husband's feelings to have pursued a deep understanding of what she did to him and how SHE needs to repair the trust she broke in their relationship, her selfishness is not going to turn this marriage around.

[@petesfohn5659]

this is normal: excuses, high expectations, over-valued....

[@mxusa8383]

Standard female behavior is what you see played out. The husband needs to kick this chick to the curb. She’s a master at rationalizing poor beliefs and behaviors. Classic female statement. “I don’t FEEL emotionally connected” female translation: I wanna PHYSICALLY sleep with someone 🥴 straight delusional thinking

[@rapsack7058]

Exactly this woman is still a total selfish selfcentered woman. AND now when her main partner her affair partner ended the relationship, she wants now close it again and back to normality and now she cares that her husband has still outside fun. This woman has still only her own needs in focus. She does not care about her husband at all. ALl about what she cares is that she get attention and validation from out side to boost her own very fragil ego. I dont know if she can repair anything. She need to learn to build up a stable inner self esteem to be not depnding on attention and validation from out side. If the husband has still the patience and good will with her, than she might start to see what demage she cause at him. She might start with care ,mainly for him and than he might give anything back again. Now this husband has a seperate emotional satisfying life with another woman. They are only married on the paper and maybe FWB. I think she destroyed the marriage and when she asks about closing the relationship, he will go for seperation.

[@mmccown1]

This call was hilarious. I usually watch car videos and somehow ended up here. What a mess.

[@normantheforeman9866]

“I don’t like it as much now that I’m alone and he’s happy without that connection with me”; is what you meant to say lol

[@antilaw9911]

Easy to take things for granted when you have options. This is sn important lesson that needs to be taught earlier in life

[@zoraster3749]

If anyone suggests an “open” relationship, man or woman, you open the door and send them on their way. They’ve made a lifelong decision. When you take the garbage to the curb you don’t bring it back into your house and sift through it. It’s done. Move on.

[@janemonroe7547]

🙏

[@cb4354]

Thats a big generalization. There are many couples who feel more so connected with each other who are involved with swinging, threesomes etc. A lot of people can seperate sex and love. To a lot of people sex is just a fun activity and doesn't need to be an emotional thing.

[@BlueStreak706]

That’s good! Nicely put.

[@mmaybee2353]

@@cb4354 “having fun” is exactly what emotions are. Saying to not have emotions during sex is ridiculous.

[@same.7939]

💯

[@annam4313]

In my opinion, the marriage is not open to others, it is open-honest between two people. Every day my husband and I practice gratitude and act of kindness. I must be very selfish but I can't imagine sharing my husband with others.

[@100jakkk]

I love when she came up with the idea but when she was dumped and her husband is dating suddenly she doesn't liek it anymore :) RUN man, RUN!

[@timnichols7760]

If my wife suggested that we sleep with other people...she's gone!! There's nothing else to be said.