What To Do When You Can’t Change Other People

[@jenica1388]

I stayed home for a few years after my daughter was born. Never did my husband say I was “unemployed “. He would tell people I stay at home with our daughter. It sounds like he demeans her and then wonders why she doesn’t want to engage with him anymore and is depressed...

[@annag467]

These are fantastic calls to help the rest of us ask ourselves important questions. I never, NEVER actually invested in a life with another person anywhere near what these callers have with their partners, or ex partners. I've felt hurt by breakups in my past, but I've never actually attempted a future together with another person. That's what I realize from the level of emotion and distress, and from the hopes and encouragement in these calls.

[@terintiaflavius3349]

This one feels off. Dr DeLony is right something is missing in this conversation

[@donnaallgaier-lamberti3933]

Often the husband only thinks about the money...and that the wife should work (with a newborn or young children) no matter what. I often wonder IF the man TRULY has any real idea of what it means to work fulltime and take care of a newborn and a home and all that that means. This is two fulltime jobs for the woman! Unless the man pitches in in an equitable way, every single night, every weekend the woman cannot be pregnant, give birth followed by sustaining two full time jobs for very long.

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

If I were her I'd let him do everything for those kids and work 2 jobs and see how he functions as a normal human being. I did that work and take care of my kids and it was freaking hell.

[@Amy-vx9lz]

Preach!

[@kellyeverett]

Exactly the lady probably had 3-4 hours of sleep total

[@CM-xu6bd]

My situation as well: I have 6 kids and he wants me to take care of all of them, errands, clean house, cook, finish my degree, and work.

[@CM-xu6bd]

He travels a lot for work too

[@hansendesigns]

The soldier picked two of the three biggest things, babies and religion (money is the third) to get her unsteady because it was the easiest way to dump her without her seeing it like she was dumped.

[@jamiebanys2816]

When I was listening to the husband, talk about his family and his wife. I wanted to know how old their daughter was when his wife went back work and did the wife have time to heal after the birth of their daughter.

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

Probably not because he seems to care only about the money

[@abbyxiong3931]

​@@aprilchow-chee5281So true. His wife being pregnant and having a baby got in his way.

[@nema151]

Now thats a cool idea! I was an awkward homeschooled kid and my parents were truck drivers growing up a podcast explaining some of the basics of life would have helped me out. Maybe the Ramsay group can start something to teach "What is the correct way to roll up your sleeves?" Maybe they could take questions like the other shows.

[@grateful7420]

Just ordered a variety of “Cards for Humanity”. Great price, nice to have them in my gift closet- when a birthday comes up, I have a fun gift handy. 🎉Thanks John!

[@Stzuber1234567890]

Already listened to the midnight podcast release. Love this show. Please keep doing what you're doing, Delony and Team ♡

[@bettybutterbean5759]

My friend had a type. Dark shiney hair, brown eyes, no exceptions. He came into work one Monday and said he'd met a girl on Saturday. Blonde hair, blue eyes and she was great. I told him he'd marry her and he did. 30years and counting. He thinks I'm a witch! 🤣

[@noodleMoodle253]

Honestly I’m confused by the overwhelmed husband, especially when he reveals that the wife is now working. Does he expect her to work, be fully responsible for the baby, and run the entire household herself ? It sounds like he resents her for not being a modern woman/wife (working) and a traditional one (housewife) at the same time 😶. Sounds like he needs to do some work on himself.

[@debbielockhart7762]

Why on Earth did it take 20 minutesnfor 1st caller to finally say wife has severe depression (which I was thinking all along it was post-partum or something going on).

[@brandyk]

Yeah that was a little strange. I know people are nervous and many sound like under 30 but so inarticulate many are. They don't seem to know how to speak forthrightly, which even the men have been conditioned not to do now. There's a difference between being uncertain about what to do but it should be simple enough to give the fact of the situation. I was not a fan of the wife not so much with the money thing bc I think they could have discussed further n got on same page but the fact that she said she didn't like him being open n honest or something like that. I did not know where John got the sense that the guy had an anger issue or something else was going on but I think they sometimes have more background info from when the people initially request to be on the show. Not sure. Certainly he would be frustrated with the wife now.wanting to opt out of the Ramsay program but the other things she said. If he only suspected she had depression I could see him not mentioning it but he makes it sound like she's got an actual diagnosis of it. He also didn't say he.was.gping to counseling until far in..Was she not?

[@ansh9236]

Once you have a child, everything changes. The child deserves two unconditionally patient parents. The child will be around for 100 years. Stressing over money will upset your child. I would rather be a pauper than live with that man. He is stressing his poor wife and his child. The hours spent as a teller might be better spent working with your child so that child will have no academic problems in the future. Your child will get full scholarships to the best colleges for the childs future. This man's duty is to his child because the child did not ask to be there. The men on this show are whiners and no help to their women or children. I am older and have raised 4 children and they have all gone to medical school. My husband took a leap of faith with my raising of and teaching our children. I never got up at night to tend to the children. He insisted that it was a joy to help me with the children since he never knew his father. He was raised by a single mother. We had no television in the house. It was way before the Internet era. I dont envy today's parents but not having a TV in the 80s was as radical as not having Internet or video games today. Love your show, but you are too easy on the men.

[@brandyk]

@Ansh2396 I'm not sure I agree he is too nice on the men. Certainly not something that jumps out at me and I am a woman. I'm not married with kids however so it's certainly possible I'm not understanding everything from that perspective as I would if I were. That said I'm also not projecting my own better situation or worse situation on to the various calls but that's what makes the comments worth reading as so many interesting and sometimes varied opinions. Great job you're husband n you did by being brave enough to go against social norms like TV in the house and raising good n productive kids. I don't think I would have had no TV but definitely reduced n no doubt it seems much more difficult for parents today in oh so many ways.

[@nicolekramer2405]

To the mom of the 15 year old, Everything Jon said is perfect. But also over parenting create sneaky behaviors. So going through his phone causes him to act more sneaky and to find other ways and to learn that nothing he says between him and his friends is safe because mom is going to see it and yell at me about it anyways no matter what I do. So maybe quit going through his phone?

[@aembusiness]

Adults should ALWAYS go through their minor children’s phone!! ALWAYS. Child predators are wayyy more prevalent than you’d ever begin to believe… until it’s too late and you learn firsthand bc it happens to your child. Boys and girls alike! Don’t listen to this person and ALWAYS check your child’s phone!! Other children can be bullying your child, other children who are older can be taking advantage of your child, etc; So many different people have access to YOUR CHILD the second they get a cell phone. Be the adult and see around those corners for your children AND ALWAYS LOOK THROUGH THEIR PHONE! Do so without them knowing! Have a rule where they turn their phones into the drawer or basket next to Mom’s bed at this time every night until off to school the next morning…. And then when and only when your child or children go to sleep, you look through their phone and take time to do research on the people they are communicating with. If you come across someone who’s an adult who you do not know… BLOCK THEM!! You are the parent, the adult and you need to protect your children!

[@anhbarker]

ALWAYS go through your teenagers phone! There are too many creeps and psychos out there.

[@TomiaMacQueen]

It sounds like the fiance said what he needed to in order for her to end the engagement. Maybe he just decided he'd made a mistake and wanted a out that would be less painful than "I don't want to marry you"

[@Whosonthird]

His initial statement that she was unemployed then went on to say that she was working..?

[@LisaLisaCJ]

So if they looked at the numbers and it wasn’t feasible to stay home, why did you have a baby? Make it make sense.

[@curiouslights7111]

I can tell he regrets nutting inside

[@mandypdx]

90% of humans?

[@LisaLisaCJ]

@@mandypdx if he knew he could t afford a baby he and she should not have had a baby. Now he’s complaining and mad at HER. And whining

[@nikkisigmon8090]

What do you suggest as the alternative, kill the innocent baby? Wasn't the child's fault the parents aren't financially stable. The baby was alive before mom decided to stayed home

[@ineedhoez]

Lmaooo@ as if people plan their families 😂😂😂

[@gladysfrancom2252]

Excellent advice

[@SharonOnTheNet]

IF you live abroad, you can purchace through The Book Depository

[@alexianeves]

56:12 Ouch that hurts, I once met someone who did the same it wasn't a couples relationship but in the end the person always seemed to be the victim and I kinda got confused on how to deal with it, so this person would in the moment tell me what I shouldn't have done but I wasn't aloud to work out the issues I had with the individual. It's very frustrating because there's a false sense of friendship and it's very harming. Your left wondering was it you or was it me.

[@aniastelm]

Great one!

[@ruz6135]

Shout out to whoever picked Marshmello 🥰

[@Burmeseti]

The first guy is not very bright: gets with a single mother, has another child that they can't afford, then expects her to work right after having a baby. He dug his own grave.

[@TammyPurdum]

I think the first caller is already done with his marriage. He is just looking for someone to say it’s all her fault and you should leave.

[@Glabe87]

Brooke's fiance sounds like he was trying to get Brooke to end the relationship... I've done it, too. It's cowardly, and it just leads to confusion when they don't immediately take the bait, or try to talk it out like Brooke did.

[@nbdysfool3]

Why would anyone want to change someone else! Seems selfish! IMO

[@NeurodiverJENNt]

I love your show. However I do wish you would let the guests talk a little bit more so we could hear more of their story. Allowing the listener to hear more of the guests story with less interruptions allows all of us to feel some sense of normalcy and compassion through hearing the struggle of a fellow 'average Joe'. Obviously the crux of the show is your invaluable feedback, advice, investigation, intuition, and intelligence... But there is a lot of relatability and enjoyment in hearing other people's stories

[@Cathy-xi8cb]

This is a show. He is selling a product. He has to be the focus.

[@donia7331]

I think the majority of the time he does let the listener speak. We all perceive things differently, but that's my perception

[@got2liv4him]

That's interesting, because I thought one of the guest was going on and on... completely different perception...

[@NeurodiverJENNt]

@@donia7331 I agree. We are a species full of unique and individual opinions, preferences & perceptions. He does let them speak of course, I just wish I could hear a little more of the callers stories but it's definitely just a perspective based observation

[@NeurodiverJENNt]

@@Cathy-xi8cb I acknowledged the importance of his expertise and opinion. It doesn't HAVE to be any one way. I wasn't trying to be critical, just sharing one listeners thoughts.

[@pamkramerkohut3616]

I don't mean to be rude, but you never let him talk and tell you what the problem was.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ 18:49

[@debturner2055]

I’m guessing the wife unhitched to the budget wagon when she felt coerced to go work, probably hates her job while seeing him love his job, now he picks up the daughter so her time raising their baby is also cut into so she probably figures fine I’ll work and spend MY money however I want to out of resentment for not being able to stay home and raise the baby. That’s how it eventually rolls in marriages unfortunately. My money, your money. If you don’t have a job it’s not your money.

[@Foxie635]

My husband spent over 200K and now has $10K in the bank. Getting a divorce now.

[@CaliCoast805_lovin_life]

Sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing alright

[@Foxie635]

Thank you. We are heading to court in a couple of months. Messy!@@CaliCoast805_lovin_life

[@Feliciations]

Red flag 🚩 Get out man.

[@David-wo9un]

In the long run it will be cheaper to get out now!!

[@LisaLisaCJ]

He may be the red flag

[@murderofcrows7738]

@@LisaLisaCJ Sure. Most red flags are calling into therapy shows and going to therapists looking for ways they can make things better. Stop projecting.

[@LisaLisaCJ]

@@murderofcrows7738 gtfoh. You don’t know me.

[@LisaLisaCJ]

@@murderofcrows7738 if you stupid ass listened to the call Delony basically said it was him. 🤡

[@nicolestanford4955]

I think the guy (abt his wife being unemployed- but working) is straight lying

[@kita3256]

Do you have cards for church groups? Like church youth groups or people in ministry?

[@CarinaAbramovic-sh8ej]

❤❤❤

[@allil87]

Nonstop advertisements are sucks

[@jacqueline8566]

Parents need to take their power back Either this ipad has limited access to apps or he will no longer have the ipad If the school cant submit to one of those options, i will be down at the schoolboard casting out hell Or my child is effective immediately unenrolled from the high school There is atleast 4 options this mother has and she hasnt done any of them Parents, you have the power concerning your child!

[@murderofcrows7738]

No way is that mom going to stop trying to micromanage her son. She couldn’t even let Dr John get a word in edgewise at first. What she sees as the other parents being more permissive, could be a better connection and communication and those parents trusting their kids.

[@KetoCookingwithKids]

Totally agree. Dr. John gave great advice. I pray this was eye opening for her that she needs to let go and give her son love/connection and talk WITH him, not AT him. Seems she is trying to fix him.

[@thirdintegra]

Yea she sounds like a real picnic lol

[@jamiebanys2816]

You should watch the dad podcast challenge.

[@murderofcrows7738]

@@jamiebanys2816 I have seen him. Are you thinking this mom sounds like a Mormon vlogger?

[@jamiebanys2816]

I don’t know if that is the case or not but I was thinking of a podcast that was recent on the Dad Podcast Challenge where Josh asked his son/ stepson about trust and crossing boundaries, when he was talking about a mom (who is controlling and before I watched him, I watched one of the KZbinrs who wouldn’t bring her five year old a lunch because she forgot hers, and that’s where I drew the line watching her channel.) Yes he does talk about how Christianity can go to extremes and other organized religions, but he does talk about himself too and who he is.

[@DorothyM45]

John 😂 left handed tattooed girls

[@Gram-f5x]

Can tell that mom is a massive annoyance

[@emmarose6590]

John it’s bold of you to think those who are dating are having third date dinners 😂😂. Dating is dead John

[@snoozyq9576]

Dating ain't dead there's stil people in the restaurants when I walk past them

[@InfernoKillZone]

He's gonna grow up and hate her like I hate my dad, horrible advice, john

[@brendondowdy5651]

I always assumed he wasnt a christian.