Why Modern Dating Is Such A Mess & How To Find Love That Lasts | Dr. John Delony

[@romyvv8258]

I hope every person who's working on themselves to be a better partner will get the same thing in return , a person that can matches their energy.

[@kayligo]

Thank you!

[@binti-mfalme]

I receive it, yes

[@bluwater1422]

Facts

[@anaibisworld]

I have done so much work on myself. I live in Australia. Im over 50. Cannot find anyone to match my energy. They all like u but they are un heal and not ready to find love again. Its unbelievable. Im on my own until someone matches my energy.

[@Sarcasm9000]

Thanks!

[@utubefreshie]

Gawd. More people need to hear this! Im a Gen Xer but I grew up in a different country where relationships, family and community are still valued. So I grew up with a different value compass. I've finally met someone that seems to be working out and will work out long-term. But yeah, dating here in America is a nightmare! People treat each other horribly like they're disposable commodities. It's a lack of valuing the other person and mostly because people also don't value themselves. People have so much trauma they're carrying around and imposing upon themselves and others. American culture needs to take a pause, reflect, and heal itself so it doesn't keep going on this self-destructive downward spiral.

[@Beautytrends77]

I’d like to ask which country because my ex was from El Salvador where they were very family oriented and he still seemed to be dating and relating like American culture. He’s been here for at least 15 years which isn’t long so I believe it’s the person and not where they came from!!

[@utubefreshie]

@@Beautytrends77 I'm from the Philippines, where we're still mostly Catholic and traditional.

[@sarahmacdougal2117]

Well said.

[@Becky_Cal]

Great objective perspective from someone who is not American! Thanks for sharing. I agree! I’m American but have lived in other countries and can see how our society is so broken.

[@Batirtze-b6x]

It's just amazing, isn't it??? His knowledge and integrity. You're a goldmine, doc!!!!!

[@kaili1094]

"How can I love you this week?" I love that Dr set up a meeting to discuss/review the week. That's very beautiful to see some of the families doing this.

[@jenniferleigh9275]

So good!

[@jenniferkelly5753]

It says You are Myne and I want to Serve You

[@GG-ul8ne]

If I get into a nice romantic relationship with someone, then, one of my weekly journal/silent questions (to that person, in this case) would be, "How can I Love you this week?". Such a wonderful weekly (but not so regular, that it eventually comes about, without true emotion/loving intentions). This is such a sweet and beautiful question, to silently ask yourself to your loved one (without them hearing you actually saying it out loud). It's like acts of charity, which are acts of true love & caring: always go about the love, silently. This way, all that Love energy goes to the intended; and not toward your own spoken/acted out agenda &/or reputation. Love privately, not publicly.

[@KuchniaIzy]

Here in Poland, like everywhere, there are challenges with dating and relationships because men's and women's expectations often don't align. However, I've noticed a positive change among some younger men-more men who have children are becoming more involved fathers and making greater efforts to maintain good relationships with their kids, which wasn't as evident in previous generations. Some couples are truly sharing parenting responsibilities.

[@julg7996]

Yes I noticed this also in the Polish Canadian community. Younger men are stepping up and breaking the cycle. More mental health awareness is improving this I believe

[@MikeyPaper]

Translation: Women's standards are too high, but Id rather blame men because everything is a mans fault.

[@terilynnelincoln3247]

I feel like a large part of the problem is relationships have become disposable like almost everything in society these days. And everyone wants instant gratification. I loving, mutually respectful and long lasting relationship takes time and effort and most folks aren't willing to put in the time & work.

[@dudewhathappenedtomycountr9099]

It appears folks want instant gratification, but could it be that everyone is seriously starving? Lack of time with their own parents, lack of time for friendships, etc. If someone has one chance to have sex that year, can you really blame the person for jumping at the opportunity? We need a societal reset of sorts. The deck is so stacked against us all.

[@EdelweisSusie]

John should make his next book entirely about love and relationships: how to find love, how to navigate relationships, how to heal the grief of a betrayal, how to deal with no closure and abandonment etc. I’d buy it!!!

[@IndigoBellyDance]

I’d find the book that tells me how to attract a man like this

[@ratherboutside2]

Me too

[@IndigoHazelnut]

Generally speaking (and this is a generic statement that might not apply to all) most broken families ended up so through emotional dysfunction.. And rather than looking inwards and asking 'what was my part in this', most decide that 'this person was wrong for me'.. Without realising that dysfunction was on both sides. And as long as we point the finger outwards instead of healing that dysfunction, the problem is recurring

[@VioletEmerald]

This is very insightful as part of it. But both people need to be interested at looking at their own part of it. It's always both of them and it usual isn't an even 50/50. Often the problems are 75% one person and 25% the other.

[@jaffrey1319]

Yep. 💯

[@KatarinaNolte]

That's 50% of marriages plus out of wedlock kids. In other words most people.

[@JustMe-b1u]

My husband died last year. We were married 50 years. I miss leaning on him and just hugging each other. In the last year of his illness we would get lay in bed at bedtime and sing the same 3 hymns every night then we would pray and kiss and tell each other I love you then fall asleep holding hands.❤ He used to tell me I was one in a million, then he would say one in Five million and then I was one in TEN million! He also said he would never divorce me . I can't believe the Lord was so kind to me. I think we had an argument every day for the first nine years of our marriage !

[@ratherboutside2]

Hearing that gives a lot of us young couples hope! I’m sorry for your loss but happy for your win! 50 years is something to be very proud of! Such a legacy to leave your family!

[@JustMe-b1u]

Thank you! I appreciate your comment and comforting reply!

[@WilliamCo-oy7ge]

I wish Everyman was like Dr Deloney. What a KING on earth!

[@SandraBender-iy8fe]

Yes,he really knows how to make his Queen know without doubt that she is loved! ❤

[@karen-if7zq]

Home should be your sanctuary, period!

[@susanreed2000]

I agree with that completely. I think that's what he was talking about though... HOW TO MAKE A HOME A SANCTUARY FOR- BOTH PARTNERS... AND ANY CHILDREN! NOT just a sanctuary for the man... and creating one takes effort from EVERYONE in the home.

[@Jess-T]

Three issues that I see: - Men struggling to adapt to women being financially independent, not *needing* to be with them, women not tolerating weaponised incompetence in the home etc. So clearly more support needed for men on how to be equal partners but recognising that women have different needs. - Online dating has polluted the early stages of relationships, making people expendable, like commodities. - Men and women being unwilling or unable to work on themselves, mental health conditions and personality disorders not being treated.

[@ebriggs3498]

“Weaponized incompetence”, what does that mean!?!

[@Katlgraczyk]

@@ebriggs3498 An example could be: I don't know how to work the washing machine, so I'm going to expect my partner to do all the laundry. Rather they could instead learn how to do the laundry and share the load. In essence someone might be "incompetent"/inexperienced in a certain area and instead of working to learn how to do that thing or get better at it, they leave it to someone else to compensate for their lack of effort.

[@trish87563]

Where does one even find a man willing to put work into a relationship like this? I'm 43, and the well is dry even just for availability, let alone actual viability.

[@yvettegg1806]

I wonder the same thing

[@crystalbee9706]

I agree

[@deepaknambisan3251]

Me! I am 51yo and divorced. Sadly, my 31yo GF of 2.5yrs and I parted ways on Thursday. Relationships require hard work, constantly. Each of you needs to be prepared to communicate and compromise. If not, ‘Houston, we have a problem’. Sigh.

[@thedarkstar7045]

​​@@deepaknambisan3251I'm sorry for your loss bro. Unfortunately, most of us younger women are still trying to find ourselves, so we're definitely not really in the market to date older men and more so want someone our age to grow and build a foundation with. I think that's why relationships fail today, because one party is prioritizing money while the other is prioritizing youth, knowing that financial stability doesn't make a man a good partner, and were all going to grow old and ugly. Long lasting relationships only lasted because both parties were in the same stages of life and slowly became a unit by growing together through those struggles. Best of luck!

[@dermlover1]

@@deepaknambisan3251maybe dating someone 20 years younger is part of the problem…

[@Mmmmkaaay]

Relationships only lasted longer in the old days because women didn't have any choices. If they lost their husband or left their husband, it would mean financial ruin and poverty. Why is this so hard for people to see?

[@questiona7]

😂what makes you hate women so much?

[@Mmmmkaaay]

@@questiona7 I am a woman. I don't hate them. Why would you say that?

[@LionessKing-k6b]

That’s not 100% true.

[@questiona7]

@@Mmmmkaaay because you’re not 100% correct

[@crystalbee9706]

This comment is true!

[@leslieboles6439]

Wow! Where are some more men like this guy?!!

[@CaliCoast805_lovin_life]

Check out his show Dr John Delony show....its full of advice that helps with many different situations. It is helpful and often healing for myself.

[@mariagates473]

Pretty early on in my new relationship but I think I may have found one ❤

[@rachanafen]

I know I've been thinking the same thing haha

[@thedarkstar7045]

Not on the internet, I'll tell you that much. I've heard some guys saying that it's normal to be attracted to teenagers at 30 because of our fertility, despite our fertility being peak as soon as we start our menstrual cycles (8-13) and then slowly deteriorate until we hit menopause... Most guys aren't like that though, they're usually just focused on raising their own kids or trying to make money while simultaneously seeking a mate.

[@bobbiemichaelsNyc86]

John has so much wisdom and insight for his age he's helped me through a lot of confusion and relationship issues in the last 4 years. Awesome you bought him on your channel 🗽

[@johannacampos85]

This hit home so much. After 14 yrs my husband just stopped. Stopped trying, stopped wanting, and even starting saying I was controlling. He is right when having the feeling of a home and being safe with your person is important. This has been the most hardest time of my life, and he choice his job over his family. It sucks, but ce’ la vie

[@singmomalways6262]

I think it’s important to make a distinction between being loyal and being too loyal. I tried so hard to maintain my covenant with my partner that I totally lost my identity. I didn’t talk to anyone l, I accepted behavior that I never thought I would. I was married and I was promised that there would be a re-build and a change. It never came and it’s 20 years later with 3 kids. Everything is harder now. I’m not saying I disagree with what is being said, but I think there are some of us who try too hard for something that destroys us.

[@susancassels5887]

My husband had an addiction. That fact had me believing that my life, and our marriage, was toast unless he quit the addiction and changed. We finally began attending classes that dealt with addicted folks and their spouses and families. In the first class we attended the instructor said, "You cannot change another person, you can only change yourself. Other people tend to change in response to your change." I thought, "Wow, my living my best life is in my control." From reading your comment It sounded as if you may be trying to please and/or make your husband happy which I know from trying is frustrating and impossible. What do you want? Go for it. I wanted to know what love is, and I found my Creator. He has taught me and guided me ever since. ❤ Blessings from above as you press on to discover what Our Father has planned for you. ❤

[@PlayfulJoyful]

Podcasts show how much you like to gossip amongst each other about women.

[@gabrielachavez2781]

I agree bc there is a balance we should have for everything. Best of wishes to you!!

[@orianam9835]

Sometimes by being loyal we betray ourselves

[@Heidi_137]

Sounds like you're trapped in a narcissistic relationship. I am so sorry. I called that being loyal to a fault, thats me but I exited a few similar relationships after about 4 yrs, one lasted 10! Never again! I am ultra cautious and keep things slow. I luckily didn't get married and my partner at the time couldn't have children so I feel like I dodged a bullet!! I wish for you to regain yourself and move forward. What helped me allot is watching Dr Ramani's vids on here. Good luck!

[@RobynMStarr]

Design something new in a marriage through the various seasons....what a beautiful way to express this.

[@8thhousealchemist600]

I fail at feeling enough or worthy. When I get a man's advice, it's the same answer. You got to be young, beautiful, confident, caring, nurturing, fun, plus have something special other women don't have. It's exhausting. I spend all this time meeting the baseline while not getting anything I require in return.

[@nmc5657]

Can I ask how hold you are?

[@Heidi_137]

Probably because you are a giver and dating takers. It has to be equally give and take. I have the same problem. I usually end the relationship (mostly after 3- 4 years) since as you said, it's exhausting, and for what?! There's a point where you hit a wall and can't allow being taken for granted and when you leave then they want to give but then I have nothing left to give that person when I end it, it's over! Been single by choice and I don't date either. I prefer meeting people and befriends a while before even thinking of dating, that eliminates a large majority of men who just wants to get laid. I conserve my energy for the right people now.

[@shans1986]

Men want what they want. You need to move on if you cant give them that. You are more than whatever they think of you and you need to just love you as you are and fix what you think can be improved.

[@JustMeNow-jMn]

Look for other type of men that you seem to be meeting. Relationship is a two way street ... Ask challenging questions from the get go ... If both sides are vulnerable enough at the beginning, it may be a potential for the long term relationship.

[@amyleigh7624]

Everyone I know who married their high school sweetheart is still together. The paradox of choice makes modern dating impossible.

[@ratherboutside2]

Same

[@flashthecorgi2053]

Thank you for having Dr. Delony back on. I always learn from him. He’s the BEST!!! You asked him some really great questions too.

[@MsPoppPopp]

That is the kind of guy I want to meet, Dr. John Delony. He is so right on relationship values. I am not very active on social media. Those who are addicted to it, can live without it. I love how he said "women now have more choices" NOT POWER. If most men think that way, then most men will have fears with women that had made something of herself. I am an ambitious careered minded woman and I have met some men that fear or intimidated by my life goals and ambition.

[@kimm5555]

This podcast got me so inspired i went back to my ex and asked him to do the hard work with me.....he didn't want to. 😢

[@ZNMelowLeloNeka]

😂😂😂I am so sorry but how you wrote it makes it sound so funny

[@beetle-juice]

Wtf? They're an ex for a reason. Lol

[@Himmiefan]

Early on, there's compatibility (along with the normal human issues), but soul-mates take years. Soul-mates are made, not found. Great video!

[@LindleyMatthias]

Exactly. Life is not a Disney fairytale. There’s no such thing as an instant soulmate. Soulmates are “made” and even come on a spectrum, so to speak. There is no “one person” for each person. People make a choice, they marry that choice, and then those two have the opportunity to define themselves as “soulmates” in time. But there’s no such thing as an actual soulmate.

[@Blacknight6577]

IMO, our society has been taught to be more selfish than caring for each other and knowing how to please the other person. Of course wanting our own happiness is important, but when ur in a serious relationship that’s not what it’s all about. I believe that’s the main reason why besides every other problem we have

[@jennyhammond9261]

Married at 20, divorced at 28, horrible experiences dating afterwards I just turned 39 and finally met someone late spring. He's a musician and I left my phone number in his tip jar. Surprisingly, he is perfect. Of course, nobody is perfect, but his flaws aren't red flags and I actually find them endearing. He is 46. It's the healthiest relationship I've ever had and was worth the wait and worth all of the tears thinking I'd never find someone. At some point, I learned to be happy single, so having him is just an added bonus in my life. If you're feeling hopeless, hang in there! I just started the video, but people know they have sooooo many choices and you're just like a t-shirt...she/he can swap you out whenever.

[@ratherboutside2]

Honey you’re still in the honeymoon stage 😉

[@ZareetheB]

Men have to learn how to communicate and stop cheating.

[@ZareetheB]

My son's dad didn't work or have car or change diapers or help around the house and if I asked for anything he blew up at me. Terrible last 4 years smh

[@thetastybacon21]

John is the one who probably gives the best advice on relationships and not only. Great guy, God bless him!

[@MichelleKennedy-sd5yl]

That man’s attitude is exceptional, tuned in and caring wants to be better😊 person

[@salinacalles3516]

We don’t love with our hearts instead of our eyes

[@farflownfalcon1076]

Good morning. How can I make your life better today? What a beautiful message. If only I had someone to say that to.

[@pris_pris]

Relationships are failing because men no longer want to be providers or protectors. They want to be the princess in the relationship. 🤢🤢🤢

[@flyawaybutterflyhealingchannel]

I agree

[@MMAStriking]

Exactly!

[@crystalbee9706]

Truth

[@niccolehill1275]

On the flip side of that...alot of women want to be a mans equal..you cannot have it both ways. Should he respect you yes..but alot of women have the mentality of I don't need a man

[@beetle-juice]

What men have you been looking at???

[@Nonfiction.Reader]

Wonderful advice when you are already in a relationship. How do you find that relationship?

[@rachelross5829]

Wow! Thank you! The first minute is confirmation! I don't have to be fully whole to have 1! This lie of a twin flame dynamic got me twisted real bad. Your so right! I'll never do internet dating. Ever! I don't even have social media😂

[@ResoluteRonin]

Ego rules the world and everyone is oblivious to it

[@michaela1541]

this is so true

[@ratherboutside2]

❤

[@karen-if7zq]

When my husband became extremely ill, I promised him that I would never leave him. He smiled and said that what I said surprised him. I asked why. He said that was rare that people always leave when someone gets sick.

[@aleksandrac9335]

Men leave. He was projecting coz he would leave you

[@commonsenseprevails1433]

​@@aleksandrac9335 Bingo!

[@DrPhilGoode]

I would be surprised too…Like why are you promising me you aren’t going to do something…that I never thought you were thinking of doing. 🤣

[@jenniferkelly5753]

Love listening to Dr John These points are such good morsels to help navigate relationships together. I Statements Wow so we can explain how I received vs attacking with you’re NOT…. Creates Safe Space to Talk it OUT as “One” ❤❤❤

[@athenamurphy1317]

I, as a true fan, can TOTALLY handle Pantera at 5 am. You are welcome at my house!

[@CynthiaHutchinson-c1m]

I'm a true fan too, but I cant handle heavy metal at 5AM. Sorry, dude!

[@tishataray]

Great interview

[@smallhouseinthemeadow6131]

When the other person holds contempt for you is when it is time to leave. Besides that, try to stick it out;especially if there are kids involved. I left my ex and screwed up my family and it has haunted me ever since.

[@ratherboutside2]

No it’s not. It’s a time to ask yourself what you’re doing to make the person you claim to love feel so defensive and scared to open their heart with you.

[@karen-if7zq]

Excellent information, thank you for all this knowledge!

[@makelifematter1896]

Yes, my grandparents same thing when my grandmother died my grandfather went down hill to join her was so sad I stull remember his comment when I came to visithim 1030 a.m. all drapes drawn when he answered the door I said Gramps (he was and still hus my hero), why a the drapes closed? He said I hope you never know the heartbreak, I will never know because my so called husband found out after 30 yrs was a cheater and Narcissistic Abuser..but for all of you listening there is hope stay with the one you love..listen and follow these guys are so educational..I so love your honesty..

[@alwaysyouramanda]

It’s a fairly recent phenomenon that men need their wives to like them. We can make money, get loans, have bank accounts now, own property.. we want to like our partner. That’s so new.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

Marriages between men have lasted longer than any other couple. So, hope isn’t entirely lost 🤭

[@MMAStriking]

​@alwaysyouramanda the average gay male has 500 sexual partners so idk about that.

[@ratherboutside2]

@@MMAStriking😮😮

[@karen-if7zq]

He is absolutely right about all he says. We have to always be on each others side,.be a team and always support each other and never, never let someone else into your marriage,.not even family. I wish I could have been this wise in my marriage. Now.I know better!

[@karen-if7zq]

Above all you must respect the other person. If they need time alone, honor it. Don't smother them, they will only.resent you!

[@lisafoster4468]

If you have the depth and commitment, the longevity will take care of itself.

[@dawntaylor535]

Wow. This is soooo refreshing. Thank you so much. So much overthinking and under feeling AND lack of risk taking. Yes, down with the "power" trip. 💯👍

[@dallasscott2317]

So so good.

[@yvonnepittman7525]

I loved this soooo much.

[@AllisonGT]

Women have learned male skills out of necessity to survive but men are not willing to learn skills more inherent for women. People want more jack of all trade skills these days.

[@mcawesomest1]

I wish I could just watch people.. like healthy relationships just to see what they look like

[@VioletEmerald]

Befriend happily partnered people! You then get to witness it firsthand. It's truly amazing to witness. And inspiring to see in action.

[@ANGeLEk1_89]

Two of my friends are each in very healthy relationships. Seeing a specific interaction between one of the couples was enough to make something click in my head that helped to lead me to finally end a very long and toxic relationship.

[@averagejane09]

If both people are healthy, this type of work can and is often welcomed. I am not a statistician or a psychologist, but it also feels like part of the problem is we as a society have become incredibly unhealthy and are not even capable of such work. I just ended a 2.5 year relationship with someone I still care about because this person is so unhealthy. I don't need perfect. And I have no problem sticking it out through learning together. But, not if the person is not doing their part and is using shaming and emotionally toxic techniques in an attempt to get only what they want. I tried. I really did. This last time I just had to leave it. I count too. I can work with someone who makes mistakes. What doesn't work is when the person can't discern that they have made a mistake. I know that a mistake is perspective sometimes as John gave the example of how his picture of helping in his mind was different than his wife's picture. I don't mean stuff like that. For example, if your partner can't discern that it is wrong to get mad at you because your sister came into town on short notice and says some awful and insulting things? Again, I could handle it if he reacted that way, but caught himself and apologized for it after, making it clear he sees that was not ok....it is when he doesn't even see it at all....That type of stuff. Can't work with that. This is the unhealthy where these things you are talking about just can't apply.

[@Iwillsurvive95]

Aw, I know it feels that way but studies prove that kids with 1 stable parent are much better off than 2 unstable unhappy parents. The effect of bathing in emotional violence in a contentious household is worse than that of a split family unit. You did the right thing.

[@ginger.that.]

“how can i love you today?” ❤

[@allil87]

John is great

[@francesbeth2077]

I agree with everything stated here. Value yourself snd value the other person. Yes, there will be twists abd turns or oroblems but you can get through it if you communicate and stay committed to one another. Dont be afraid to learn from each other and appreciate one another. Grow together. You are a team in the world. If you hurt one another with words or actions, you are hurting yourself. With God all things are possible. Lives matter and so do marriages, but it takes two people all in creating a solid foundation and a plan or vision for the family. Two become one with God"s ways at the head. How your family treats one another speaks loudly. Small respectful words, creates a loving environment. Your wirds remind you how to treat one another. Even if you are angry watch what you say. Never belittle family. Try to sit down with them and discuss concerns. Remind them that you love them. Together you can come up with a plan of action.

[@amyfigueroa1911]

I couldn’t agree more. The notion that all of our friends and family and couples we admire or not, were fully whole, healed, and thrilled about the prospect of living life alone, (so that they finally deserved to be part of a couple), before they got together is just wildly unbelievable. The constraints and standards, the rules we have made up for single people now to meet before they can shamelessly look for a partner is so unnatural.

[@DrPhilGoode]

That “notion” didn’t exist to begin with. It’s just rhetoric people use to argue an opposing side by acting like it’s bigger than it really is.

[@Jean-g7m]

I don't mind if the call comes or not but the video filled me with a beautiful sense of calm ❤

[@The_future_looks_bright]

This was really good! Thank you

[@parnellmarketing]

This was excellent! Thank You!

[@lyndagrace3044]

Loved your conversation. Thank you so much.

[@JudithRandall-vz1zk]

You have to BE the person you want to marry before you can attract that in a mate. Why would you deserve a partner like that, if you aren't like that?

[@savannahbrewer6161]

Hallmark copyright struck this comment.

[@monikaleszko5343]

Exactly 🎉

[@julieevans3110]

ive heard that before. Honest sentiment, however; if it were true, then 1/2 wedded people, would still be single.

[@monikaleszko5343]

ppl make each other better together ! ❤

[@crystalbee9706]

So, I have to be a bread winner, financially well off, kind, forgiving, mild, assertive, loyal and loving in order to attract a man like that? Ok. I am all of those things so why am I single?

[@rapunzelz5520]

Men under 40 are KNACKERED!!!! Hyper feminism killed them. No sane man wants to have more expectations that he cant fulfill, way more financial stress, and kids on top of it. Romance and the dream of love and family are DEAD. One positive is that when you stop being obsessed w a relationship, you start to enjoy life and your own interests freely. Well see what happens.

[@ratherboutside2]

What sucks is it hyper feminism did the same thing to women!

[@kimmoussa4994]

People don’t trust that they can be honest with themselves and can’t trust their own feelings enough to be ok so they settle until they see bitter

[@masaniazura2131]

"Choices"! Much better word. I'm not trying to overpower a guy, but I have options available to me and I want to putsue those options...and do them...very well...without a guy feeling over-powered or not needed.

[@RiannaMarieMentality]

I would actually love if a man came up to me randomly and said, “I think you’re beautiful, would you like to grab a coffee some time?” Wow, I honestly think most women would love that.

[@nnekagodwin2922]

I wish for more people to listen to this ❤❤❤

[@1metuka]

I find this insight so powerful! I wish I understood this a long time ago.

[@dennydude3737]

As long as technology is around relationships will fail hard over & over. With the internet, texting, emails, messenger, social media, dating apps, hookup apps, etc. around then people will stray because of relentless options of others. Along with being influenced by seeing things that cause FOMO on social media. It's choices much like a restaurant menu and you don't know what you want to try first.

[@E_swi]

My parents recently got divorced after 35 years. I felt like they stayed together that long even though they didn’t seem happy. They were seldom happy. Seemed like they didn’t want to truly admit how bad it really was for years. They got counseling in the beginning but it never really got better. I get that you need to try to make your best effort to make it work, but sometimes there isn’t enough there to hold things together. People change over that much time and sometimes it’s growing apart

[@annabanzon313]

Also, I notice that when u sabotage and envy others marriage or relationship, it comes back to you.

[@TCAPRecipes]

I need to get back out there. Gets harder by the day.

[@golnazkhazeni9976]

This is incredible

[@karen-if7zq]

Women have become equals and most men can't take it. My husband died and now a big piece of property is now totally mine. Finalized couple weeks ago. I now realize that I don't need a man anymore, I have really become moderately wealthy and it feels.pretty good for the first time. I'll never marry again, just flat out enjoy my life. Just be happy for the first time and not have to answer to anyone anymore. A

[@heathernewman3804]

Excellent podcast

[@dfateekh]

24:42 I totally agree with this. You either choose the person, decide to be with them. Or not Because there is an utopia to have someone who 100% matches with anybody. So, for me conflicts and the most important - working on them and trying fix one of the partners meaning - one of them he or she - JUST DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH each other of simply doesn't love

[@IndigoBellyDance]

So basically u have to choose a man who chooses to b kind & emotionally mature …. There is a scarcity of those

[@ResoluteRonin]

I have never known true love outside of the love my dog has for me.

[@JusticeSleuth]

28:18 powerful statement.

[@JohnSmith-ij4xe]

Well I have better luck in person than online but 20 years ago it was the reverse. But I let them pick me then I agree or I don’t. Since I get lots of attention I have options so it works. I don’t do social media other the KZbin. I prefer deep conversations so for women it’s hard to keep my attention. Most are not used to guys like me where I give them 0 attention and I’ll just walk away. Looks only good so far but if I don’t feel anything am out or if you rub me the wrong way you can’t fix it.

[@ANGeLEk1_89]

Yep, same.

[@DLM1063]

I love that Dr John's wife is the female version of my partner.. From George Strait to waking up quiet, to the conflict resolution tactic... I bet she is pretty cool, we have good taste 🤣

[@bulbulchandwani3581]

Well said 👏 👏

[@kirthijankypershad8583]

i like how John mentions that men are still banging their heads on the same wall.

[@destroso]

Your grandparents were probably virgins when they married

[@allil87]

Thank you

[@scottebear]

Smart phones internet

[@teresanaron9064]

Artifical intelligence matchmaking is the point of the problem in humans interacting

[@justinesnyder9677]

My husband and I are struggling because I feel like he does not love me anymore. I have been expressing myself for over a year. After his last relapse..he has been unwilling to go to therapy or give me the things I told him I needed to rebuild trust.I was gentle at first, I was forgiving, I was understanding..but now I am angry.. so now I don’t blame him for not liking me, I don’t care. One day he wants me to sit down and relax and tell me I don’t need to worry about dinner and cleaning and the next day he tells me to shut the f’ing kids up, look around and clean the things that need to be cleaned and calls me lazy. And I wanted so hard to rebel and build into being soulmates. I’m sure he thinks that soulmates are meant to be discovered…atleast as much as he logs into bumble now.. I just wanted it to work. He doesn’t think it should be work. He’s rather be with an ex he hasn’t spoken to in 6-7 years, because with her it was easy… I just can’t live my life on this guys flip flops anymore.

[@ratherboutside2]

I can hear the pain in your post. You want to be able to depend on him, to feel safe with him. By his actions, he doesn’t seem to want you to depend on him to do anything but continual shift gears and lead the marriage into a wreckage. There is something deeper going on with him and I think it may be the wrong expectations of marriage, family and home. He wants easy and fun. Marriage and family can be fun but it’s definitely not easy.

[@salinacalles3516]

Exactly they respected eachother it’s all about sex today so sad

[@2224johnjohn]

"men haven't developed new skills" vs um wtf does this mean men create literally everything by their labor 😅⚒️.

[@tamtamz8733]

What happened to those per-pandemic singles meet up groups that would go hiking, running, etc.? I think that’s a good way to meet ppl the good old fashion way.

[@OptimalOpinion]

Simple - XX ride the CC when their value drops they seek out the XY to TAKE $$$ - THAT IS THE ANSWER

[@renew9016]

John you are right... It's aligned with the Bible.

[@rogerrippel48]

No man whats a boss lady.

[@ThroughHe]

They are annoying

[@Trapz4Dayz]

He should ask who’s ending these marriages and why.

[@mufasahm8238]

The devil

[@Sarasarah3]

Church

[@mollywhitman5219]

I think the dating sites are too easy. Meet someone new with just a swipe and move on. As an older person don’t get caught up in this trap. As you age all the work in a marriage good and bad is worth hanging onto. Walking away is easy until you look back. Sitting in front of a computer on a dating site in your 50’s all alone is unbelievably lonely.

[@suzyerichsen6184]

Yes, where is the man that is *willing to work on a relationship. To nurture a relationship.* I haven't found one.

[@vixter28]

People are just lazy. They don’t want to put any effort on the dating sites. Pictures are crappy they don’t talk I HATE IT !

[@meatmoneymilkmonogamyequal5583]

As a gay man I sometimes envy straight people because they're so relationship driven but then I scoff at them for their obession with monogamy as if it were some kind of scientific fact. They dynamic for gay men is almost completly different from what you're descibing. A've had a lifetime of crazy insane fantastic, lustful, horrible, horrific sex and yet at the relationship level, it sucks! I've tried countless times to start a relationship withe another man. I find it virtually impossible.

[@akferren1]

I’m constantly asked out by married men and the reason for their cheating is always the same.. the wife is cold and non sexual

[@plumsmom8043]

So they say….are they giving emotionally to her or meeting any of her needs?