Johnny Figures-It-Out (182) | Congratulations Podcast with Chris D'Elia

[@SupergoodStudios]

For the UNCUT EXTENDED EPISODES GO TO patreon.com/chrisdelia !!!!

[@AndyMac259]

Thanks again for another great episode Chris, you rock man!

[@fletcherc6585]

Dude I never cry but when dmx died I dropped a tear

[@BabaBooey88]

S'insecure to post the patreon link twice

[@HarryBreyfogle]

Your headphones were more extended on one side. And that. Pisses Me Off All good

[@fletcherc6585]

Yeah head phones are cool but fuck Head phones we should have bluetooth headphones 20years ago

[@_elan__]

Need to talk to management about Chris making us laugh for an hour then catch us off guard and make us cry.

[@fishingdownsouth1256]

You should Probably talk to your doctor about medication .

[@miikeyg123]

Innit! great name btw x

[@mewkatlol]

Only pussi cri

[@ArctorDarkly]

@@mewkatlol Someone that cries in front of an audience can't really be called a pussy man. Just saying.

[@betteryou7hanme]

Yo, Chris tearing up at the end seriously had me bawling. I lost a son when I was 24, and the last few minutes of the episode really fucking caught me off guard. 34 year old man crying silently in the bathroom at 4:30 on a Friday? eeeeehhyesssssss!

[@theleogeckoguy]

Wow dude that’s crazy. So sorry to hear. Much love to you man keep on laughing and living 👍🏼

[@ColorfulMindedGoat]

So so sorry for your loss! "Life rips if you want it to!"🙏🏼

[@ginnyhaynes7472]

So sorry to read this...you’re so strong to make it through that, crying and all. 💪🏼

[@CecileTellier]

I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you got some catharthis.

[@davidcpearson]

So sorry to hear this man, it's very sad. Thank you for sharing it though ❤️

[@arxcinoss]

"it may be dark and hell may be hot, but we're here together" i fucking felt that

[@BrokenGodEnt]

RiP ;(

[@barakobama6474]

I might be slippin and I might be fallin but I gotta bounce back to my feet

[@snavisTM]

Your like vin diesel but instead of living life one quarter mile at a time you live life one corny "quote" at a time.

[@nikbj23]

"what a doofus" "baby reconize baby" lmaooo your parents are hilarious

[@danielb8001]

Chris, you could make these podcast episodes 8 hours long and I would listen to every second.

[@fuaddd]

Me too💯

[@nehanzimohohlo6349]

I get mad when I miss a word he said & have no problem rewinding the whole shit.

[@Michael-wn3rh]

He'd now have it hidden behind 2 patreon paywalls.

[@HasanPikerIsADouche]

@@Michael-wn3rh it doesn’t even make a dennnnnt

[@plamoretti673]

Same

[@TheBlashMusic]

The group chat about nobody reacting when Chris’ eye was burning on Christmas proves that everyone in his family is basically the same person 💀

[@erindenny297]

The funniest shit he has said since he ate Hilary duffs cookies

[@swampperson2577]

Hearing Christen(?) laugh really quietly sometimes has become my favorite part of the podcast HAHA

[@Jay-cw5bx]

It's Christopher Edit: like Reaves

[@effyoo6081]

My name is cristen

[@guyty5731]

Croissant *

[@jessicacooley9653]

I'm definitely glad she is a part of everything❤

[@blakebonanza]

"I'm not crying cause I hurt inside (like I did today)!" God damn these little inserted side comments on his emotional personal pain is the most absolute purest comedy plus tragedy.

[@itscarriebomb]

He's opening up to us and I am here for it. I bet there's a lot of us who have gone through dark times and can sympathize hard. (I literally refer to mine as The Dark Time, LOL.)

[@ErinJeanette]

My inner MONOLOGUE* constantly says EEEE-YES DUDE! 🤙

[@errands8253]

Fml I’m not alone then

[@FearOfGod444]

Let's fucking goooo

[@ZeroCash91]

The real quick no shit and "cha, doin?" Pop up all the time 🤣🤣🤣

[@august6389]

Can you not say the D-word? It's very offensive..

[@jelleschotanus1842]

Haha same 😂

[@chases7547]

Chris getting more and more comfortable every week. Love it

[@dannydeltoro43]

Starts by talking shit on his dads toaster, then right after... Chris: “I’m so lucky to be a father I’m crying”

[@Smokeyxz]

You’d understand if you were patron

[@ripdroson]

LoL.... Dad fuck yo couch & toaster!....

[@miikeyg123]

@@Smokeyxz OOooo is that a challenge?!

[@golfoftonkin]

@@johnroff9869 hahaha you got issues man

[@rainedelaze708]

This “work in progress” Chris is my FAVORITE version of him.

[@jibblyghibli1668]

Oh my god, that Ja Rule "Murdaaa" after the JFK hair line killed me. Holy shit

[@douglo3676]

The podcast since you've came back is hitting on different levels for me than it ever did before. I love how real it feels, and to see you break down a bit...as someone who's made some serious fuck ups recently in my life, and trying my hardest to change through it all...I appreciate you a lot Chris, thank you for being you.

[@chrislewis8549]

Bro it’s amazing seeing him bounce back.

[@BTDB28]

I LOVE this Chris.

[@hall3a]

@@BTDB28 are these comments being screened?

[@traveller2378]

Dude... the world is full of dents right now. Glad to have the youngest man alive back at it.

[@tyl3raz7]

He’s been back for like 8 episodes, where have you been

[@n-wordheelflips2648]

Late

[@traveller2378]

@@tyl3raz7 5 = 5, not 8.

[@Psycho_Spock]

@@traveller2378 hell yeah, I'm stoked too. Even after 5 episodes. Also, the fuck is wrong with people these days?😆

[@traveller2378]

@@Psycho_Spock The world is burning. I just want the dude to know hes appreciated.

[@ericfasulo4259]

Bro never realized the happiness you bring me until you weren’t there. I feel blessed to have you back. Look forward to it every week.

[@johneasterday6112]

Literally makes my day to see a new podcast episode is posted. Don’t go away again man we need you 💪🏼

[@johneasterday6112]

@@johnroff9869 well he still made the decision to take a break. No one literally stopped him from making episodes. He just probably wanted things to blow over and do some self assessment before he came back. But you do you brother I hope you have yourself a phenomenal day

[@Mbodia]

He said DMX WAS LIKE BUTTERS 😂😂😂

[@jhunt32004]

"What a person wants from somebody" literally took me out 💀💀💀💀 stomach ballin histyrical 😭

[@moos9019]

😂😂😂

[@inigomontoya619]

"The struggle you are going through today, develops the strength you need for tomorrow." Earl Simmons/DMX

[@dropdeadalina]

Never knew he did such a good Ja Rule impression.

[@andrew9654]

It was spot on lmao

[@MissViki96]

DMX as well 😟

[@eoinmcdonnell8629]

Man, this whole cancel culture movement is da shit! No more KZbin ads interrupting my tubing every 3-5 mins.

[@stiltz86]

ad blocker is free and i don't see ads

[@NunYaBiz1313]

Haven't seen a youtube ad since i downloaded Ublock. Ad Blocker sells your shit, Ublock doesnt

[@rakaikereama-thomas2259]

“A baby always recognises another baby” had me in the foetal position.

[@rubenpagan3983]

only chris would make a podcast where at least half of it he talks about toasting bagels😭😂

[@pappa_paulie]

S'friggin happy ya back chris

[@austin25go]

S'happy rn

[@Louey_]

Been back like 6 months

[@Eh71017]

@@Louey_ iz ih?!

[@relaxationstation7634]

hopefully he quits forever bc he's in jail. can't believe you people can look past what's he's done, what's on his computer, and what he admitted to

[@austin25go]

@@relaxationstation7634 I'm sorry what?

[@miikeyg123]

"Leave Food - NO Ring" that needs to be on a TShirt

[@RedThirty9]

Im a pretty simple guy, Chris uploads a video, I like it before it starts. S’Loyal.

[@globerunner5660]

S’loyal asf

[@CoachSteveMoney]

Bill D'elia is just the ultimate dad. Y'gonna tell me Chris isn't going to be hovering over when Calvin is using Chris' new $300 (inflation) toaster?

[@Abletoth]

I needed the laugh I got from "What a person wants from somebody!"

[@kandicecypret84]

My husband and I laughed for several hours at "Johnny breaks it down" and "Johnny figures it out" we watched it once on your Patreon and again on KZbin, we're both just so ecstatic that you're back bro!!

[@dandreanthony1486]

“The radio version, What a person want from somebody” lmao omg I fucking lost it

[@stephaniekali7947]

I am female and straight and I don’t understand how general population doesn’t back this dude, when he’s guilty of nothing illegal. In fact thanks Chris for not f**king many women in their late 20s amd 30s... guys if you want to play and feed some addiction please go ahead with young girls.. that are legal. That’s the right thing to do... in addition, I appreciated Chris D. before, definitely top ten living comedians, but watching him humbled has elevated his soul and artistry and I’m here for it.. it super sucks that a guy who isn’t assaulting or r-ing amd had ZERO Crimes against woman can be taken down by some. Thanks Chris D’elia, for proving Facing the world when it must feel totally against you is the looooook.

[@TheRealKirkHammett]

Chris, I totally understand you. This morning I saw a video of my son on easter morning back when he was about 3 years old. He's 8 now... Anyways, seeing the video and hearing him talking instantly brought me to tears because it made me realize that even though he's grown so much, he's still just a fragile little boy. And he's MY son. And it instantly made me think of how I would literally jump in front of a train for him if it was a choice between me and him. It's insane to have that sort of a feeling inside your heart. I understand you man.

[@testpm-il7qq]

Brilliant episode, had to revisit

[@errands8253]

BEST of the new batch. He’s getting back to himself. So good

[@Nickydeee]

He doesn't talk about his kid for 35 min ? Maybe I'll listen

[@michaelroth6975]

Sssssu gud

[@richardraymond8]

@@Nickydeee sounds like ya listened to the last ones

[@Nickydeee]

@@richardraymond8 no one mentioned anything about not listening to the last ones. You're correct sir, One gold star just for you!

[@chychywoohoo]

@@Nickydeee who hurt you?

[@charlid00]

Remember when chris never wanted a kid and now cant imagine life without his son? How cool is it that we can change like that. We never know whats best for us until we have it

[@LucasS-eq6uy]

Shoutout Will "The Chief Engineer of Laughter and Cheer" Sasso

[@skillzset1066]

Is every episode so good that it can be a whole *stand-up special* in itself? eeeYes. Does it make me laugh more than anything? eeeeeeYes. Does it make me think and even cry sometimes? eeeYeess. But does it make me laugh again afterwards and put things in perspective because life always rips? eeeeYesss.

[@mindforcombat9316]

Here to ensure no Dents are made. Bring on the adverts 🔥

[@contentabouteverything910]

Great content, love your fight breakdowns !

[@mindforcombat9316]

@@contentabouteverything910 thank you. Much appreciated!

[@squeezeslemons]

@@mindforcombat9316 cringe

[@randomuser7395]

Your facing a cp charge,. Stop using your k!d to constantly try to deflect and portray yourself as a wholesome father.

[@hashishiriya]

@@randomuser7395 username checks out (kinda)

[@hollymack8855]

He wants to be chilling, he wants to be sweet. Aww. I felt that.

[@Lechatnoir3]

But when I say you know what you’re right I feel heat bubbling in my chest - LMAO

[@tglad20]

This was one of the best episodes Chris has released. The editing, the story telling, and the comedy was next level.

[@yu_uhglee]

"WHAT A PERSON WANT FROM SOMEBODY?!" 💀😂

[@1blackone]

"Ja Rule is the gameshow host version of DMX" [Morgan Freeman Voice] Never before, has someone's entire being been so succinctly rounded up in so little words.

[@B-RaDD]

Welcome to this week's episode of keeping my life sane

[@noco6666]

💀💀

[@B-RaDD]

@Matt Lucas ohh💀💀

[@josephdolph8474]

Glad you're putting these out! Glad for a silly goose time and also doing more sincere stuff. Love to see it

[@joshfreeman7081]

De’lia is getting me through 2021 ... That’s where I’m at.

[@nightlyboot4888]

As soon as I click on video I instantly hit that like button because I do what I want and I love you Chris.

[@matthewitt2276]

"Leavuh fooduh, no ring" LMAOOOOO

[@alecbedard7037]

Fucking read your comment as he said it lol

[@Marfmellow88]

Good to have you back Chris!

[@neskapz4530]

love seeing how much chris loves his son 🥺

[@13emilm]

Chris I became a dad in September of 2020, and every time you get to those emotional spots in the podcast it hits me right in the heart. You’re so right about being incredibly lucky to be a father. It’s the greatest feeling ever. Glad to see you back brother ❤️

[@thebrisaeflores]

I got pit stains because of how hot in hell it’s getting, but life still friggin rips dude.

[@MacAoidh4]

S'true 🤝🏼

[@theoddonebeats]

We love you man never forget your a good dude

[@rickyp1494]

My daughter is almost 3 months...you caught me right straight in the feels there man. Life certainly rips.

[@joshjordan1982]

Thanks for being here Chris as someone whos girlfriend of 5 years left me this week with no explanation or note or anything I'm glad I have some of these podcast like yours that can take me out of my head for a bit and alleviate stress and anxieties of life no matter how tragic or messed up I'm feeling. keep up the silly goose times for all of us

[@crystallopez4667]

💔💔💔 No words of comfort in these situations, other than, you gotta go through it day by day. Not having closure is the worst. 💔💔💔

[@MuddyGamingLive]

I can't wait to sing " What a person wants from somebody" to all my black friends.

[@antisocialantihero3464]

I feel like thats more offensive lmfao

[@gubbermint5756]

I'll also be singing "What these mmpfs want from a mmpf"

[@ThatNorwegianGuy-]

All 2 of them?

[@antisocialantihero3464]

@@ThatNorwegianGuy- lmfao

[@MuddyGamingLive]

@@ThatNorwegianGuy- don't really have a tally of what friends are what. I'll be singing this shit in general all the time now

[@ethananderson8205]

Can't believe I went without this podcast in my life for so long. Thank you.

[@HarrietThugman]

You're the best comedian/podcast host/cult leader.

[@Frobie23]

I love your focus on fatherhood; talking about your experiences with your son resonate with more people than you know. Harness this content into future comedy specials and you will overcome everything that you been through. Everyone deserves second chance as long as people learn from it. You clearly have. I can tell from this and your recent podcasts. I love being able to laugh and cry with you, it's a stronger connection than anything anyone else is doing. I love the new Chris.

[@mig3598]

Every time I listen to the podcast I always hear that laugh in your intro in my head for the next couple days after

[@gabemclaughlin4171]

I love hearing him talk about his son! It makes me, a stranger so happy for him. The love is palpable

[@mikebr9764]

“U think hell’s room temp? Noooo!” 😂

[@AshleyRenee684]

I’m a first time mom, my son is only a couple months older than yours- but that’s the same way I feel about my son. I can’t believe that he’s real and he’s so perfect. I’d do anything for him I love him so much he’s my world!!

[@Rios70]

Dude you pod and the workaholics pod give me life on the commute , appreciate your effort dude

[@BlueprintsForHeadaches]

I haven’t seen the workaholics one but I love those doods! Imma check it out now

[@dilcrau]

@@BlueprintsForHeadaches is called This is important if ya need it

[@mylesharris51]

I understand the whole wanting validation from your parents thing. My parents aren’t very affectionate either

[@youarnb]

Thank you for sharing your life mate. You're infinitely more real than ever before and I love watching you lean in to all that's real to you. Cheers from Australia. 🤘

[@teekman23]

New dad here to a seven month old baby boy and I share every feeling you do! Life Rips as a dad

[@chacearnold4899]

Chris, your killing it!! I never leave a comment but your show is awesome and I look forward to it all week. Glad your back and doing good

[@amianlione8070]

"Why's..Why is Bruce Willis hosting congratulations?" "It's MURDAHHHH"

[@wuitdew36]

“What a person want from somebody” Thank you bro 😂😂

[@dukeraoul6090]

For the next Podcast can you have your back too us, I’ve always wanted to see the Rocky Mountains

[@MRJimRoger]

Honestly the best comedian podcast these days, because you can say whatever the fuck you want. Noone cracks me up these days like you do. Keep it up, Johnny-Breaks-It-Down!

[@antoinerossignol9355]

Your explanation about a level of artistry that, for a brief moment, makes you feel like you'r living it...very well put. Chris's artistic chops are seriously underrated, I can tell he understands more than he lets on..

[@shelleymckenzie1964]

From the first time you been back... it's now good to see that you're back back. (Seemingly more yourself this episode than the ones previous) happy to see it.

[@juleecarpenter1106]

Awwwwww YAA! I watch him on Patreon and then I watch him again on KZbin on the flatscreen in my living room. And then I rewatch various episodes throughout the week and go nutz like everyone else, waiting for the next episode. ❤️💣💪🏽😎💣❤️

[@rubyredfrog]

I have the same toaster and every time I have to use the button I think of your dad

[@IrelandsShame]

Is he emotionally tethering himself together? AAAAAAYES! Is he looking more like a goofball? AaaaaYES dude! Do I still love him? AaAaAaaaYES DUDE!

[@benpenrice765]

This is the greatest podcast in the world. There’s nothing that can make me laugh and make me cry like this can. We all love you Chris I’m extremely grateful to you for making the world smile and forget it’s problems for a few hours a week ❤️

[@TheB0SS229]

Anybody else just wake up excited to listen to Christopher?

[@yurrickhunt9707]

Ja Rule is like some messed up offspring of Steve Harvey and DMX

[@keysthomas1966]

I'm so glad u decided to come back, Chris. Your depth is a BEAUTIFUL flip side to your ability to be SUPER SILLY! I laugh so hard, Dude... but then u get REAL, and I tear the fuck up. We don't get to do those 2 things together very often. Thank u for that. So far, you're one of my favorite things in 2021 Love u, Boy Keep it up!

[@erickcoffin6848]

I didn't breathe through ALL of the contacts rant. Y'ALL DONT UNDERSTAND, I haven't laughed so hard IN MY LIFE!

[@taylorrpaigee]

one time I had essential oil on my hands from making candles and i took my contacts out and literally thought i was gonna lose my eyesight 💀

[@crystallopez4667]

Omg yikes!

[@AlchemicalTransfiguration]

The only man that can make me cry and laugh In the same breath. Love you Chris. Life rips dude!

[@paiger6058]

Ok but I wasn’t ready for his DMX impression I’m screaming

[@MrFightfan3000]

Respect dude. Being a dad is THE game changer I needed. Pitty it's over in a flash so enjoy every second

[@stormzrule4]

Did this episode remind me and break my heart that my daughters Mum doesn't let me see her and I've missed most of her most important moments? Yes, did it also make me feel lucky to be a Dad at all? Yes, Is everything thing fine? No, butwillitbeeventually? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS DUDE BECAUSE LIFE FUCKIN RIPS

[@mjimenez4667]

How can toasting bread be so fucking funny LMAO.... Glad you're back !!!

[@AJPrieto444]

This podcast is my therapy had the worst day ever. Sounds cliche but I really appreciate your podcast it cheers me up always.

[@arsaeterna4285]

I'm so happy that you're happy because I'm 30 and I'm feeling the fatherhood clock hard and I can't wait to do it right, and to do everything my parents did wrong the right way and to be happy : )

[@SOCCERTV123]

We love you Chris.

[@BEERBOMB113]

That's what art is honestly. Its making someone experience something they haven't before though your music or whatever the art may be. Art is everything and music is all art.

[@NYGRLINTN]

💀💀💀💀 Probably one of the best episodes, ever!!! S'glad you're back!

[@Factory132z]

The end of this was like, welcome to this past weekend w/chris D'Elia

[@ff9813]

Laughing so hard at the contact lens part. "I know I'm 40,but how about some compassion" hahahahaha

[@TheJCinator]

The thumbnail looks like Chris just sobs nonstop between episodes

[@domqueens]

Chris being himself with us and letting himself be transparent. Man we could never change on you 💯

[@homesickNovalis]

Holy shit, when he started crying about his son... highlight of my whole day..