Dark Dungeons - JonTron

Go to www.Audible.com/JonTron to get your FREE 30 DAY TRIAL and FREE AUDIOBOOK!
Will Jon go to hell because he played Dungeons and Dragons?! No...but probably for other things...
Social Media:
/ jontronshow
/ jontronshow
Cast:
Jon - Jon Jafari
Cult Leader - Gys De Villiers
Young Cult Apprentice - Jay William Thomas
Homeless Richard - Joseph Hernandez
Party Girl #1 - Brooke Comegys
Party Girl #2 - Emily Mathwich
Extreme Party Boy #100 - Aramis Klein
Pikachu LARPer - Sergio Torres
Credits:
Director/Writer - Jon Jafari
Assistant Director - Sergio Torres
Director of Photography - Nick Oliver
Assistant Camera - Dylan Lopez
Gaffer - Mike Shayne
Sound - Matt Nissen
Makeup/Practical Effects - Melanie Licata
Set Designer - Lynell Vinuya
Production Assistant - Aramis Klein
Post Production:
Lead Editor - Jon Jafari
Assistant Editor - Andrew Reynoso
Visual Effects - James Russo
Music:
OST 01 Tutorial - by sawsquarenoise
Colossal Trailer Music - Civil War - Nick Road
Title Cards/Intro/Art Assets - Michael Azzi : / michafrar
JonTron Logo: Keanu Modeseven Jones + Shane Gill of / dykgaming
Thanks Ross and Holly for the sick recommendation :3
Go to www.darkdungeonsthemovie.com/ to purchase the film for yourself!!
www.normalboots.com

[@skookyskellingtons]

"We don't have to kill him do we?" "At it would cost is your gold and your weapons!" That's a really shitty DM.

[@TheShadesOfBlack]

she also assigned them names and characters.

[@MadmanEpic]

Fallout 4? (Joking, I actually love Fallout)

[@forgetfuldullahan5468]

+slayertakim1 there is none. It's like playing saints row but as a normal looking human, instead of some mutated hippo with a cockney accent that's skin is a dark blue. It just doesn't feel right.

[@tails230]

This DM obviously hasn't played Undertale... ... .. or any RPG games in this world.

[@ThatNewbZed]

This was terrible DMing. Giving the players characters instead of them making their own. Not letting them show mercy. I don't know if its just me, but they Leveled really fast. And not letting her save her friend, and saying it would be breaking character. like what?

[@blazerona1329]

I can't even tell the difference between the actual movie and Jon's additions.

[@holyfollower4]

It took me a while at first to realize that the demon scenes weren't Jon Tron. I was like, wtf? computer screens, haha, oh wow... oh no... that's... that's the movie... that's the movie....

[@tronical7276]

+David Koster ya lol

[@HellishSpoon]

this is how you differ, if a scean has jonton its jontrons clip if it doesn't its not.

[@aidanburch5283]

IKR

[@JacketCK]

is the first part made up or part of the movie? like the begining

[@flargarbason1740]

I love how she didn’t handwrite a suicide note. She PRINTED one with selected font.

[@raybob8668]

Ha

[@Maphteah]

Thing is: it is one to one the same font the note uses in the comic The entire film is taking the piss

[@danielplatts9446]

This whole thing felt like the setup to a well scripted adult film. I kept waiting for the sex to start.

[@creeperhunterD]

Yeah, especially the whole "We'd have to spend the whole Saturday together alone in our dorm room, and there's totally nothing fun we could do there :P" bit felt like the intro to a porn.

[@placeholderdoe]

Omg yeah, when the guy was like,”that was the best Rpg-ing in I’ve seen in 15 years!” I thought I miss-remembered this video and I almost left. Also when they’re talking about RPG-ing in their dorm I straight up thought the next shot would be them together in bed. Their always a second from making this movie NC-17

[@riskisulthan5386]

I'm still waiting by the way....

[@johnnybyrd300]

This does have Skinimax vibes.

[@tinobemellow]

Would've been worth a lot more of my time and attention.

[@znull3356]

"ARE YOU READY FOR THE MAIN EVENT? ARE YOU READY TO RPG?" "YEAHHHH" "Okay, everyone roll for initiative."

[@thefreshemperorofsacredter572]

16

[@hypnosemblem8829]

Damn I got a 1

[@thefreshemperorofsacredter572]

Yadriel Vento bardic inspiration add a 1D10

[@mondelsson]

@@thefreshemperorofsacredter572 can I borrow your dice? I forgot mine.

[@flamingcroatan3739]

I got 10 ... What can I do now?

[@danielbrazell]

Every single shot in this movie looks like the start of a porno.

[@aasisch]

Daniel Brazell best comment ever

[@wizardvozk5874]

Especially the scenes with Cthulhu

[@handson4580]

you know what it does. Im waiting for this DnD session go into irl erp

[@bakuraryou2159]

Cause pornos and Christian movies are both low budget.

[@outtolunch1310]

Damn, why are you kind of right?

[@rexcelsior5415]

“I have no mercy, for I am Chaotic Neutral!” “Excellent RPGing!” This is satire. There is no way this is not satire.

[@JimmyJohn89808]

It literally is! 🤣

[@emanuelefieni5761]

I crack up every time I watch it 🤣

[@Mediados]

And the guy who took it dead serious approved it even

[@wingponymedic2360]

It became satire at "Those are the RPGers" i choked laughing at that line

[@Ba11leFieldAce]

@@Mediados there's no way. He had to have known that this was a giant joke.

[@FourthDerivative]

"All she was good for was reading the Necronomicon and summoning Cthulhu." What an amazing line.

[@Dumbledoresarmy13]

"been trying to throw them off the campus for years.... but they're JUST TOO POPULAR" omg dying xD

[@ziljin]

Dumbledoresarmy13 they hold some dope ass frat parties. not surprised.

[@ai-dooffical2907]

Dumbledoresarmy13 wait they are not the cool kids?!?...... that explains the insults.. better leave the group..

[@dove805]

ARE YOU READY TO ROLE PLAYING GAME?!

[@Linosek279]

Dumbledoresarmy13 Why arent i this popular D:

[@sauce242]

Everyone knows if your popular, you can't be punished!

[@TeamDragoonX]

Reminds me of a post somewhere "DnD Fearmonger: you serve a dungeon master and summon demons." "DnD dungeon master in reality: please stop trying to seduce the river, I'm begging you."

[@CygnusTheSilly]

I rolled a natural 20 you can't stop me I can seduce whatever I want

[@TheSp0kesman]

DM: The river prefers being on top. Did I mention they were rapids?

[@jx7945]

@@TheSp0kesman with bardic inspiration they can do whatever they want.

[@lazyliongames5858]

This makes me want friends to play D&D and seduce a river

[@doctahhobo]

"No, you cannot molest the barrel, it's a fucKING BARREL YOU MORON."

[@angstydoodles1101]

"ARE YOU READY TO RPG?!" "Sorry, I can't do the usual time this week, how about Wednesday?" "Wednesday doesn't work for me, how about Tuesday?" "What if we did a late session?" "Sorry, I can't. I have really early shifts this week." "Can anyone do Thursday afternoon?" "Oh, yeah." "Thursday works." "Definitely, I can do Thursday." "Thursday afternoon it is, then." **Thursday afternoon** "Where is Josh?" "He said he'd be five minutes late. Has anyone heard from Cindy?" "No." "Pat?" **Two hours later** "Hey, guys, sorry I'm late. But I brought food!" "Josh!" "JOSH!" "Oh, where's Cindy? And Pat?" "Sigh. Guess it's another one-shot this time."

[@belafeldbusch3397]

I hate how accurate this is 😂

[@gracet6533]

Stop 😭

[@darrienjones8917]

This did make me actually sad.

[@gokuxsephiroth4505]

Oh no... Who knew being in a demon cult was this hardddd

[@AppleOfThineEye]

Damn bro. Too real, lmao

[@emyron1843]

Fun fact, Narnia actually has a ton of religious references in it so the fact that it was considered witch craft here just sends me.

[@kevinkenealy1179]

And lotr has catholic values

[@dragoninthewest1]

@@kevinkenealy1179 Yup. Aragorn for instance really takes inspiration primarily from King David but also Jesus. He's of a bloodline that stretches back to a legendary golden age of their civilization (Numenor). His reunification of Arnor and Gondor into a single kingdom following the war has parallels to Judea and Israel in the Books of Kings. Both King David and Aragorn are known for their musical talents.

[@zangl2955]

I didn't grow up christian, so I didn't pick up on the christian allegory in narnia until I reread all the books as an adult.

[@corphish129]

Occult books also have a lot of religious references, so that doesn't really mean anything.

[@abelrussell5556]

It’s so hilarious. My parents banned C S Lewis when I was growing up because, magic. Oh and also he was “Catholic or something” and my good protestant parents weren’t having any of that robe-and-incense bullshit

[@Lalatina13]

The most unrealistic part of this was a D&D group meeting that consistently.

[@RainyDaiz69]

Amen. Especially IRL. It's easier online but even then it's hella inconsistent

[@Atamosk-bu7zt]

oof

[@maskedkitty7350]

CrimsonChick exactly, my group ended up on a cliffhanger with my character the last time i played and i haven’t heard from one player in almost a month. can’t start because her pet mount is important to the plot.

[@Ubermensch9240]

*sad DM noises*

[@sandakureva]

And not going off on insane bunny trails.

[@blokmotion]

I died when they showed the kids playing D&D as the cool kids!

[@dracocrusher]

Watch out... those are the kids that play Dark Souls! You don't mess with the kids that play Dark Souls!!! No matter what you try, You. Can NOT. BREAK. THEM!!!!!

[@limontree476]

Do their rave parties involve praising the sun?

[@deviljho9995]

+dracocrusher u mess w/ a souls player and they make you a casul

[@ardeneritter8182]

+Limon Tree No, lots of skeletons though.

[@kiandyrinokripperino2004]

+dracocrusher Hey, wanna do some ashen estus?

[@ZashuCrash]

I still love how accusatory the dean or whoever is. "It's just imagination." "Is it?" "Well obviously, wait, did you think-" "Where are the bodies, Debby?"

[@goldenpig6453]

TWENTY EIGHT FIREBALLS. YOU DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE THEM A SAVING THROW, DID YOU?

[@user-me3ge8de4o]

@@goldenpig6453 i didn't expect that reference

[@hectorryan7591]

​@@user-me3ge8de4ome neither

[@testedhawk]

@@goldenpig6453 DID YOU DRAIN YOUR SPELL SLOTS? METAMAGIC? THEY WERE TAKING FIRE DAMAGE, BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY. BUT YOU CASTED IT, AGAIN AND AGAIN

[@toxicdemon1315]

​@@testedhawkJUST SAY "I CASTED THEM!!" IS THAT _SO HARD?!_

[@TheyDarthElmo]

You know, as someone who is both a Christan and a D&D player, I have never been able to figure out which part of me should feel more insulted by this movie.

[@adelin76]

Ikr this stupid film is like those type of toxic Christian Karen mothers who think that everything that is not Christian related is Satanic lol

[@mohammadalialomari3692]

Let's hope it's your religious side

[@bitgh0st]

As a satanic D&D player, I have never been able to figure out which part of me should feel more insulted by this movie.

[@KopperNeoman]

@bitgh0st Satan is far more pathetic than this movie portrays, so the D&D side.

[@Dovah_Slayer]

Both? Yes let's go with both

[@ApocalypseMoose]

"You can show him mercy, and all it would cost is your gold and your weapons." Why?

[@Mino1777]

Cause I said soooo! >:)

[@bubermarcus8607]

Um...how does that work? If I spare him is he entitled to everything I own?

[@Raven_Frame]

A Moose So are you trying to incentives me to kill him then?

[@polstrey]

Villains don't show mercy. Duh.

[@sparksparklez]

I'm more confused as to why they get the option; didn't the enemy run out of hitpoints?

[@Sweettooth1231]

it's funny how one can't tell what part is Jon fucking around, and what part is the actual...."movie".

[@rock9154]

Yu Narukami His stuff was better than the movie... although the movie set the bar a biiiit low

[@someschmuck5105]

Here I was afraid I was the only one.

[@volcanicA333]

When the scene looks like it's been polished at production grade, features coherent plot and invests into the continuous character development - it's Jon fucking around.

[@jotarojohlynekujo9222]

Yu didn't you lose to jojo

[@okamileek006]

+the doctor what

[@joem1480]

Yes Jack Chick gave his approval for this but what a lot of people don't realize is that it was legitimately a group of Gamers that made this movie and they played it perfectly straight to jocks chicks vision because nothing they could come up with would make fun of it any better. This movie was actually first screened at Gencon

[@Heidenspross]

as a fan of "the gamers" i loved this!

[@MintyArisato]

The satire truly wrote itself

[@Dovah_Slayer]

Yeah, you literally can't write anything better than this pile of shit

[@MaudlinDreams666]

Hahaha THANK YOU for the clarification! I figured that people (like me) would have made a movie like this to screw with people.

[@thetuftedpuffin1025]

As an actual D&D player if my DM throws my custom character mini in the fire I really WILL be committing a murder

[@DylanSimmonspercussion97]

Like dude those get expensive quick

[@OfficerHotpants]

_"Go get it,"_ and then you toss him in.

[@mattpace1026]

Jfc, murder over a piece of plastic?! God help anyone who knows you.

[@OfficerHotpants]

@@mattpace1026 The good ones have nothing to fear.

[@mattpace1026]

@@OfficerHotpants Dude, your apparent criteria for whether or not someone deserves to die is whether or not they play with your toys. You should be locked up.

[@mroneill1000]

Seriously.... Is no one gonna mention the fact they were playing dnd at a fucking rave? Like.... Who... Who does that???

[@austingole4861]

Moreover how did they actually get enough people who had coinciding free time to have a rave on top of playing dungeons and dragons

[@m.m9076]

Nothing sets the mood for sitting there making voices and Rolling dice for a few hours like repetitive edm

[@Cactus_fucker]

@@austingole4861 ikr the most inaccurate part is how all the rpgers had time to constantly gather and play dnd

[@layzee3810]

Extreme dice rolling over extreme music Yes very real

[@feathero3]

Only the COOLEST D&D players do that.

[@ShadowTheLion]

I like to imagine the reason the school was trying to kick out the role players is because they graduated already but just will not leave

[@MadamFoogie]

Yes, this! _They never leave!!_ I run a gaming night at the comic book shop I'm employed at, and that is so insanely accurate. Every single session is a bloody struggle to shoo everyone out so I can lock up the store. It's gotten so bad that we sometimes play a little longer in the parking lot. Or if it's an adult group, we might even take it to the bar across the street. I'm just too kind to my players.

[@kevindube7096]

@MadamFoogie sounds like you’re the root of the problem, enabler 🤷🏽‍♂️ That’s what you get for running a store selling candy bars & caffeine instead of xanax bars & codeine

[@MadamFoogie]

@@kevindube7096 I'd gladly sell them that if it were legal. Some of those people really need to chill.

[@shortgiraffe700]

Would explain why they’re like 30

[@shortgiraffe700]

MadamFoogie Imagine walking into a bar and see a bunch of people playing dnd.

[@Mor1adim]

"I have no mercy. I am Chaotic Neutral!" Checks out.

[@mimikyoo]

4:40 i cant believe Jon actually found that same background curtain with the exact same pattern for this gag.

[@tinobemellow]

It's stupidly easy to get ahold of esoteric, cultist-looking rugs/tapestries and weird candles and candlesticks nowadays. Makes it easy for edgy Satanists to do their weird shit, and equally easy for neurotic Christians to do their counter-shit. Lots of shit, really.

[@bradensorensen966]

I think it’s just a green screen of a scene of it from the film.

[@Palachrist]

"-200 damage to DVD player" Now that's a lotta damage!

[@safi1460]

Thomas Whitlatch It's not that much damage.

[@DoctorSpacebar]

Flex Tape: Repair any object or construct for 50d20 hit points.

[@aaronhayes7247]

And I repaired it! Using only Flex Tape!

[@thejedisonic67]

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE MORE?

[@thejedisonic67]

*Hollow Tim If that number was in Pokemon, then that'd be a lot of damage

[@letrokid1121]

"You're dead, you can't play anymore." -Says the Cleric who didn't prepare Revivify

[@infinityzer054]

“Bullshit via deletion of gold and weapons=excuse” Never do that

[@schwindelier1449]

Maybe she had revivify but was tired of the rogue's player bullshit (saw that happen a couple of times)

[@Grim_Sister]

I feel that. As a healer in almost half of my games I feel that

[@Shadethewolfy]

Or Neutralize Poison (since Black Leaf died from a poison trap)

[@ellnats]

IKR!!!, she could still play, maybe pretend her character is a spirit

[@justdoodles9906]

Actual DnD parties are just sitting around a kitchen table eating chicken nuggets and talking back and forth about character lore- honestly sounds a lot more fun to me than the rave in the movie-

[@zachscarbrough2727]

Have you been spying on my DND sessions?! You just described it perfectly. Course not all the time. There was one time where one of our members went to our local fried chicken restaurant (not KFC) and ordered like a hundred piece dinner for our group of SIX PEOPLE!!

[@sabbathb6548]

@@zachscarbrough2727 That is a homie for life right there! Also yeah lore discussions sound sick as hell!

[@MintyArisato]

I’d like a rave where we talk about character lore

[@elegy.1226]

The part with the moon God and Jon not even wanting to comment had my sides in orbit.

[@prickwilde2044]

"We're--" "Just Leaving" "Oh hi, Just Leaving, I'm (whistle blow) RAPE" MY FAVORITE JONTRON LINE EVER

[@devildogwhite]

You think rape is funny!?!? Did you know 113% of women will be raped at least 3 times in their life?!?! Safe space! I need my safe space! FAT IS HEALTHY!!!!!!

[@girlinahat3407]

+Devil Theory calm down tina tumblr Hugh Mungus cant get you now.

[@prickwilde2044]

+Devil Theory lmao

[@CaptainCardsworth]

Nah I still gotta give it to "Never in my life have I said '''Goddammit I shot the wind again''' and meant it."

[@Zeztini]

I AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIN'T HAVEN THAT SHIT!

[@MoonPatch]

"If you don't murder this NPC I'll severely penalize you!" Spoken like a terrible DM

[@edcellwarrior]

That’s like, the exact opposite of what most DMs want

[@MoonPatch]

@@edcellwarrior It sure is

[@funybirbman3813]

The size of the party means I can't really blame her

[@theman6422]

What strange parallel universe is this?

[@aquamarinerose5405]

the same one where D&D summons Cthulu. But this film just makes me cringe so hqrd because it doesn't even try to show how the game may allure people to its 'dark side'

[@tuckerdidit42]

Them: “DND is evil!!” My players: “Quick get between the goblins and the angry villagers so we can negotiate a cease fire and figure out this misunderstanding so we can hopefully resolve this conflict as peacefully as possible”

[@alexeyvega987]

And after some time, we will mate with their women and eventually our differences will be forgotten.

[@jeremiahbristow7609]

that would be me...well, it would, if I was ever invited to my friend's rpg sess...

[@papayadoodlez9994]

My players just try to help npcs start their own businesses 😭 I created this one flower shop noc as a joke but they insist that he's the main character

[@Ziomaletto]

Caboose in profile... "as peacefully as possible"... Guys, I have a bad feeling about this.

[@Lucy_Ferrr]

This room is, what? 10 feet around? Yeah I cast fireball.

[@gandolf7849]

The fact that it was a party was the funniest concept to me because no one myself including who plays dnd goes to parties.

[@mattpace1026]

Good on you for keeping the stereotype of rpg players being antisocial losers alive. Really doing a service to the world there.

[@jamescolm1133]

Also they made them the popular kids as a football player was saying it

[@beggingbugger]

​@@mattpace1026Man you've been going around the comment section just spouting whatever would get a rise out of people and yet not a single person has actually taken you seriously yet. If you're gonna be a troll, do a better job.

[@mattpace1026]

@@beggingbugger Ah, so someone telling the truth is a troll in your eyes. I miss when that word meant something on the internet, and was helpful. Now it's just a crutch for any moron who doesn't want to admit they're a tool. Have fun going nowhere in life.

[@HeroKings]

"If you act you‘ll be breaking character" That‘s not even true. Chaotic neutral is neutral they can save whoever the blimey hell they want.

[@pleaseenteraname6590]

Yeah but I don’t think I will

[@BenDover-dk2sp]

@@pleaseenteraname6590 truly a chaotic rogue

[@pleaseenteraname6590]

Ben Dover but I like bards and clerics more

[@jx7945]

I hate the “breaking character” argument. Like it’s my character I can do whatever I want with them.

[@spiritbx1337]

I think they meant that in the way that they weren't together, so they would go OOC if they did that, breaking character.

[@Nijadj7]

Cleric ~ "I use magic missile to attack the darkness" Me ~ But she's a cleric? Dungeon master ~ "How shall you slay your defeated foe?" Me ~ But she's a cleric! Cleric ~ "I will slay the defenseless foe!" Me ~ HOW? Thief ~ "I stab him with a poison dagger!" Me ~ DO CLASSES MEAN NOTHING?!?!?!?!?!

[@38procentkrytyk]

Aren't in 3rd edition Clerics allowed to use this pointy knife?

[@MaxonerousX]

"I will waterlog the for with god damn water I just so happen to be able to create"

[@Epicrangerpig]

in 5e dnd Magic domain clerics learn magic missle, and she could have multiclasses, or picked up the magic initiate feat, but I'd suspect she multiclaesses as wizard because the DM said she wanted to be a priestress and witch

[@38procentkrytyk]

Epicrangerpig Are you all really analyzing stuff where author definitly didn't even touch the manual?

[@Epicrangerpig]

+Franciszek Rychlewicz Nah, I was just fucking around

[@naturalist4life396]

Debbie: who are those people? Mike: those are the "RPG-ers". Marcy: "Rocket Propelled Grenadiers?"

[@olsonusmaximus]

"Converting the Muslims who were worshipping a moon god." I distinctly remember reading that Chick tract as a kid in junior high and it made me realize that I actually didn't know what Muslims really believed. It was the first time I went out of my way to research something on my own without it needing to be assigned to me as schoolwork.

[@feliciavale4279]

Nice, what did you learn?

[@olsonusmaximus]

@@feliciavale4279 that they worship a moon god.

[@feliciavale4279]

@@olsonusmaximus Very interesting. The Catholics worship a Hindu god. Mary is called "queen of heaven" and defied.

[@Fully_Certified_Idiot]

​@@olsonusmaximuswhat

[@Fully_Certified_Idiot]

Oh damn, there's a Wikipedia article.

[@lauraacevedo1308]

"DnD is evil because you use spells to kill people" Meanwhile, the cruel goblin rogue, along the rest of our party, taught the 15 year old half orc fighter how to write so that he could send a letter to his mom, telling her he was ok and was having a lot of fun with his new friends.

[@lorenzobellachioma8160]

I love that, your party is so pure

[@lauraacevedo1308]

@@lorenzobellachioma8160 It's actually pretty funny because at the start most of us were trying to be mean, but at the end we just gave up completely and now we're nice. The mean lonely rogue started helping his new companions, the grumpy cleric started having fun with the party, the young half orc bard who feels abandoned by her mentor and father figure now thinks of the old tiefling druid who lost his wife and son as family, the half orc fighter is having fun with his new friends, the lonely elf druid is starting to trust people again, and the grumpy human fighter has made friends with a goblin, a dragonborn, an elf, a gnome, a tiefling and a couple of half orcs and is starting to realize non-humans are actually kinda nice. It's been a really fun mess.

[@chumbucket3475]

@Laura A Villegas That’s got enough character development to be a movie that I would 100% watch

[@lauraacevedo1308]

@@chumbucket3475 Actually it turns out that most of the players in my party study animation and are also really into character design and storytelling. I believe that helped a ton to make the story of their characters so interesting. The whole thing feels like watching multiple movies at once, and I can't for the life of me say I have not enjoyed it.

[@Nitz1066]

My Grandma Ended up making the Same Argument but 20 minutes later I was helping her (89 year old Human Cleric)Find her (Dead Husband’s) Grave She Fell in love then 8 minutes Later Then the DM made it so She was my Real Grandmother

[@ollanius_papyrus80]

Dnd according to this: dark, addictive, seedy frat party Satan worshipping ritual Dnd in real life: Dm, with his head in his hands: no, you can’t have a “chicken crossbow” and I don’t even want to know what that is.

[@Pastartes047]

And a player trying to yeet a horse to a horde of goblins and rolling a nat 20 causing a tear in the space time continuum destroying the session.

[@rexjolles]

He is satire so kind of makes sense nothing makes sense

[@SollowP]

It's obviously a crossbow that fires off chickens instead of bolts. Imagine how angry the chicken would be after firing it off, it would maim just about anything it hit.

[@SpanishBroomaker]

I once used an iron door as a shield after I punched it off it's hinges with a natural 20 for the rest of the campaign! DM was nice enough to make up stats for it too.

[@Bowserjr-wi4dn]

@@SollowP This is what Link does when he's had enough of getting his ass kicked by Cuccos. He just straps one into a crossbow and shoots it at his enemies. XD

[@VxW2020]

As a Christian. This is absolutely absurd. I laughed so hard at the Larp scene

[@alexhollon7526]

You're telling me. Even my extremely religious aunt looked at D&D and said, "I don't get how this is satanic." You can even be a cleric.

[@arleccino1313]

As a Satanist. This is absolutely absurd. I laughed so hard at the C.S. Lewis part.

[@Measuresderepo]

As a Pentecostal, my DnD character is a half ork ranger.

[@beggingbugger]

As a random guy with no particular beliefs, this is sequence of visuals, that I saw.

[@Dovah_Slayer]

I think even as far as into the 90s, fearmongers like Jack T Chick were the minority and did this to feel like they actually meant a fucking shit and since then their relevance just keeps going down as people get more and easier access to information

[@michaelwahl7810]

Did Jon buy a full suit of armor, a sword, and throne just for a 5 second cutaway bit? I can't say I would do the same, but damn, I respect him.

[@emperorcalus5020]

The funny thing is, I was introduced to dungeons and dragons at a Christian youth center lol

[@danstrikker6465]

Then there's my entire group that are all Catholics that play it

[@faerhazar939]

Thats how they getcha

[@cannedsas]

same lmao

[@APotatoMan]

So was I, kinda

[@noisyninja3479]

My sisters pathfinder club would meet up in the basement of a church, not sure if they were Christian or not

[@aspenyoung2914]

I lost it at "motherfucker i was born ready."

[@aspenyoung2914]

and the Muslim part killed me, thats it, rip.

[@xXxDoctorSpazoxXx]

SAME XD

[@seannahaire]

Aspen Young same

[@angrytwxgaming8423]

Aspen Young same

[@slayre88101]

Aspen Young NICE BREAKING BENJAMIN PROFILE PIC BRO BB FOR LIFE

[@theoo.2019]

I like how the pastor says to burn rock music, like how am I supposed to burn a whole genre of music?

[@WingMaster562]

DVD burner

[@fbit7613]

@@WingMaster562 take my like and leave right now

[@Dovah_Slayer]

Does this include Christian rock?

[@Videogamer-555]

It means burn any cds or tapes that you may have that contain rock music.

[@Gogeta1337]

when they repeat the word "shadow" overdramatically, its an inside joke by the filmmakers that refers their previous works. Their previous works are comedic dungeons and dragons movies.

[@dolphinboi-playmonsterranc9668]

Saying "I kill him, for I am Chaotic Neutral" is like saying "I'll commit war crimes because I grab change that people drop and forget at the store.

[@CooperGooper]

Oml you are amazingly smart

[@Zorro9129]

"Chaotic Stupid"

[@herlocksholmes-uv5qw]

I'm not the best with the alligments but isn't chao neutral just a person that values their freedom a lot, doesn't believe in the government but ALSO can have friends and be loyal to them? WHY IS SHE BETRAYING EVERYONE AND COMITTING MANSLAUGHTER AS A FIRST OPTION-

[@arieson7715]

@@herlocksholmes-uv5qw Chaotic neutral is literally just "I do what ever I want."

[@Nuggette]

@@arieson7715 kinda but even then their first option shouldn't always be "I kill the fucker" that's more of a chaotic evil territory

[@rexyrex1599]

As a RPGer I can tell you this is 100% accurate,we are indeed the coolest kids in any school,spreading the RPG mind set to all we come across,praise cuthulu

[@seeingstarsyet2478]

Rexy Rex PRAISED BE OUR LORD OF EVIL LARP BRAINWASH!!!

[@rexyrex1599]

Seeingstarsyet? PRAISE HIM!!!!

[@WATDAHFLICK]

Why worship cthulhu when you can worship me?

[@nicolochanleo5730]

King kek

[@nerdherd1819]

(That was an SCP reference)

[@Legal-Canadian]

The acting here is impecable, almost as good as Charlie, aka Penguinz0, in his popular role as District 8 helper in The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 and even in his titular role as Officer Greg in Last of the Grads.

[@epic.6608]

Nice

[@LordyT34]

The 'roleplayers' in this movie are the exact type of people D&D was created to avoid being around

[@KopperNeoman]

And the type of people who now run (Grand) Wizards of the Coast.

[@konnosx1213]

"I have no mercy, I am chaotic neutral" this movie is definately self aware

[@brotheraracon3646]

Any DM worth there salt: GODAMNIT you will not kill the other player because WE didn't agree to it THAT IS YOU, ME, AND HER DIDN'T ALL AGREE

[@Lunar1us]

I read catholic neutral for some reason. Eh, same shit anyways

[@konnosx1213]

@@Lunar1us Lawful Christian: Catholics Neutral Christian : Orthodox Chaotic Christian : Protestant Lawful Atheist : Secular Humanist Neutral Atheist : Nihilist Chaotic Atheist : Misotheist/Antitheist Lawful Satanist : Satanic Temple Neutral Satanist : Lavayan Chaotic Satanist : Order of the 9 angles

[@metaforth1271]

@@konnosx1213 well you can be all 3 of the atheist things at once-

[@evangerthemediamogul1055]

@@konnosx1213 Oh my God, I identify with literally all the Lawful alignments in some way! The hell does that mean?

[@imstupid880]

"I have no mercy. I am chaotic neutral!" Yeah, they knew exactly what they were doing.

[@goroakechi6126]

*facepalms in chaotic good*

[@aidandavis6530]

I legitimately died inside a little bit

[@-.DIO.-]

*laughs in chaotic evil*

[@blacklightredlight2945]

Dms are always worried about evil alignments, when neutral alignments just be burning orphanages just because.

[@Vice_Verse0]

What a non-committing loser. Can't even fully commit to be evil.

[@dungeonpastor]

Hey I have this one! This is what got me to check out DnD. As a Pastor now, I run groups with the kids in my church.

[@gachadoddles6320]

Nice

[@protectwhatisours6895]

pls no diddling thnks

[@KopperNeoman]

@protectwhatisours6895 Unless he says Trans Rights, you have no need to worry.

[@Nautiloch]

my favorite bit is when they keep repeating "The Shadow.." because it's a reference to Zombie Orpheus's first movie (its called The Gamers, it was made in like 2002 or something and is honestly still pretty solid. I remember loving it as a kid)

[@NeroThacher]

'Convert the muslims' "I ain't.....I ain't even going near that" How many years later and that still kills me

[@nicholassingleton6488]

The moon God shit was the funniest part

[@chahineboudemagh9596]

Fun fact, the writers of the movies actually got the moon god from an honest god chick tract that was made unironically where chick tries to convince you in all seriousness that Muslims are secretly worshipping the moon god

[@greywalker505]

I can vouch for that. Ol’ Jack tried (and hopefully failed) to convince anyone considering converting to Islam that “Allah” is a false moon deity.

[@chahineboudemagh9596]

@Toxic Delirium the star and crescent in Islam were used as a symbol of the Ottoman empire in around the 13th-14th century and never before, the were then considered as a symbol for islam by most people since the Ottomans were the defacto rulers of the Muslim world (the religion itself has no symbols), as for the Lunar calendar, that has been used in the Arabian peninsula centuries before Islam existed as well as in many other places around the world.

[@patrickstump4681]

Toxic Delirium Dude, Christianity has a firm base in paganism as well. No one’s saying Christians are secretly worshipping zeus or some shit. And as for why Islam continues to use the symbol, the Ottoman Empire was one of the largest and most influential predominantly muslim empires to exist. The Ottomans, and thus their symbol, basically became the face of Islam.

[@WhaleManMan]

Jon could reveal that he actually just made Dark Dungeons himself, and nobody would argue with him.

[@pabletoday9782]

Ikr, its so ridiculous and his cuts fit so well with it he might as well just have produced it.

[@tompor561]

HOOHOO

[@MrNickPresley]

You coulda called this film dorks v. cthulu, and NO ONE would've argued with you.

[@benji8648]

I would. Jon's skits are much higher production

[@beelzebubcrumpethorn]

Hoo, hoo!

[@jrgoriginal569]

I just noticed that the whole translation of the “necronomicon” that Marcy reads is a bad adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s quote: “That is not dead which can Eternal Lie, And with strange aeons even death may die.” 😂😂😂

[@calmkid479]

It's really funny how jon's videos has a better quality than the movie

[@prehistoricpal5215]

I love how they got some dark edgy characters while me and my friends legit had a game where we were all Spongebob characters.

[@jamesmoriarty2329]

Me and my cousin when we were younger played as Courage the Cowardly Dog characters. So don’t be embarrassed 😂

[@creditsunknown7974]

Every goody gansta till squidward spawns Cthulhu

[@yasquishyboi902]

omg please invite me next time that sounds amazing

[@andyroobrick-a-brack9355]

My character is literally a self worshipping cleric who tried to fly to impress a boss character. I nearly got killed in the process. Hell, I'm not even a Christian, and yet I based the character off of the "be your own God" mentality because it was hilarious.

[@IN_ari]

Me and my friends just recreated the hobbit

[@connorbegley8464]

It took me a while to figure out what Jon had edited in and what was actually the film. For example, at 4:45 he matched the set so well I thought maybe the other guys were acting in his bit and not the original film. Just goes to show how much effort Jon puts into his videos.

[@jackofclubs6229]

If Satanism means you get magic powers, they could honestly just be up front with it and get over half of the earth’s population to join. “Join Satanism” “What? No. I’m a buddhist.” “We have actual magic powers like fireballs.” “FIREBALLS?! HAIL LUCIFER AND GET ME A T-SHIRT.”

[@gokuxsephiroth4505]

Ironically, if being Christian gave people superpowers, it'd be just as people to convince people as well, I think.

[@zachscarbrough2727]

I think any religion that gives you actual magic powers would convince anyone to join.

[@sweetcinnamonpnchkin]

But we have to follow the law of equivalent exchange. What must we give up?

[@BROXBasher]

@@sweetcinnamonpnchkinThat’s true. Life for a life.

[@KopperNeoman]

Become Christain, rebuke Satan in Jesus' name, and behold the epic tantrums when the magic powers disappear.

[@arbiter11171]

DnD is a Christian game if you align yourself against demons. But the Christian game I recommend is Doom because you protect the world against all the forces of hell!

[@ToastyMozart]

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your super shotgun and Your plasma rifle, they comfort me."

[@garedtuttle3649]

Is it wrong that I read that in Coolio's voice?

[@WilliamRobertHixon]

don't forget in the original DooM the Doom Marine (Canon wise is the decendant of B.J Blazkowitz from castle wolfenstien) killed the icon of sin, and in doom 2 saved earth and so on.

[@JustinQuinn623]

And in E2M1 in Doom you lose health if you stand in the upside-down cross

[@cyberblade505]

Huh I didn't realize that

[@ZacharyBlunck]

"those are the RPGers." What fresh hell is this?

[@Otaku_Sama]

i feel like the creator was shitting on everything that wasnt religious but the RPGers are true satanics completely no not that they spend days upon days on a game slowly wasting away at their life grinding yet almost beating that one boss so you can go to sleep UGH FUCK YOU FF10

[@PichuLover]

Which boss were you grinding for? Omega?

[@thee20thdoctor18]

No, the mountain in FF15!

[@funybirbman3813]

Nessus.

[@RealCoolstriker64]

When the line “the RPG’ers are too popular” played, I laughed out put for 5 minutes straight. Not even an exaggeration

[@elisabethtenbrinkkelley8044]

Yeah, because that's how college campuses work. XD

[@thehaloscrolls391]

Imagine if this dude discovered Warhammer 40k

[@gabriellittle2827]

SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!!!

[@crimsonwizahd2358]

​@@gabriellittle2827BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!

[@hectorryan7591]

​@@gabriellittle2827Blood for the blood god

[@mitchellenderson7194]

D&D in this universe: “Our dice are tools of the Devil!” Real D&D: “If one more person rolls to seduce the horses pulling the cart, I’m dropping the Tarrasque on this board.”

[@misterbook9786]

Hah, peasants, flirting with the horses. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘢𝘵~

[@THEONEPIEEECE]

@@misterbook9786 >play DnD >choose bard >DM sighs

[@329link]

I'll roll to seduce the Tarrasque.

[@SirBlackReeds]

Real D&D: Evil races are bad game design because they marginalize real-life races.

[@SimplySerpentine]

@@329link Nat 20

[@TheMrWillje]

Can we please acknoweldge that the suicide note font and formatting works in the tract, but in real life I can't ignore that instead of writing her suicide note by hand, Marcie went to the trouble of actually opening up Microsoft word and picking a font, thinking "yeah this one looks good for my suicide note", typing it out, turning on her printer, printing it out, and then stepping up on a chair to hang herself. Amazing.

[@dezmobluefire8217]

As a tech nerd I’d so do that

[@SomeoneYouDontKnowOfficial]

I mean, I know if I would do it by hand no one would be able to read or so what's the point of even writing one of no one can read it.

[@TheDiego908]

And she also chose the right font size and line spacing to make her suicide note particularly aesthetic

[@TheMento98]

@@TheDiego908 You wouldn't want to die like some loser who doesn't have a e s t h e t i c would you?

[@seankearney5472]

Also the fact that she clearly got changed before hanging herself but after black leaf died so she got home and got changed into a dress, because you got have suicide style am I right, then she printed the note and then she hung her self

[@Hypherius241]

10:05 I can hear Brennan Lee Mulligan and/or Matthew Mercer saying "Um Actually, you can't cast magic missle as a cleric."

[@fifinostalgia]

Also she didn’t even roll for it, the DM was just like “You struck him down, how do you want him to die,” If this was a real game this is how it would go down: ‘I cast Magic Missle’ ‘You don’t have Magic Missle, you’re a Claric, you have Sacred Flame, would you like to use that?’ ‘Uh, yeah, I do that’ ‘K, roll for it,’ ‘*rolls dice* 16,’ ‘That hits, roll 1d8’ ‘*rolls dice* 8,’ ‘You do a good about of damage and he’s down to 20 hp, next up is…’

[@dundy212]

@@fifinostalgiauhmmm actchually, sacred flame is a DEX save on the target's part not a spell attack on the caster's

[@zachjohnson8944]

It’s been years and I still think about what a horrible DM that definitely-college-age woman is

[@sweetcinnamonpnchkin]

Exactly. She would have been thrilled that she didn’t have a blood thirsty player.

[@329link]

"Spells, poison, battles, maiming" Dude I literally played an RPG where everyone was a sentient bear and nobody got maimed.

[@30noir]

Honey Heist?

[@329link]

@@30noir I think that was the name! Only played it once, so my memory's a bit fuzzy.

[@knuxiellombardiybur8645]

@@329link ha HA, "fuzzy"

[@lifeisgood5619]

Was there posion, spells and/or battles?

[@329link]

@@lifeisgood5619 no poison or spells, though there was a bit of a scrape with some cops.

[@user-rs3zs9mo7i]

You're not really playing DnD if the GM is not inserting their bizarre fetishes into the campaign.

[@deceptiveauto]

Rusty Shackleford want to enter my magical realm?

[@boisol81]

Pissy threes as far the eye can pee.

[@ohjeezitslee4043]

Gerald: and then you walk into a dark wet room with giant white boulders the room was humid and the ground was squishy but then then he realizes it is not a room it is Mario's mouth! Mario pushes h- will: GODAMMIT GERALD.

[@WorldWalker128]

My first group's GM didn't need to. Half of our group was a lesbian half orc paired up with an elf and a male dragonborn that would screw anything willing as long as it was female. Both people playing those female characters were dudes. Mine was a dwarf with no clan because they all died of disease, and my sibling was a dragonborn monk who didn't know how to keep his mouth shut on touchy subjects due to not being around many people during his monk training. At one point we got our mitts on a big beast-of-burden lizard, and three kobolds. Our gnome-wizard's player suggested to name it 'The Short Bus', and after we all agreed the dragonborn contemplated rutting one of the kobolds, and then 'The Short Bus'. That was a weird night for RP-ing.

[@Twinkle_Toes123]

We had an undead who controlled undead himself. Through a cursed ring that turned him into a woman and an oil that prevents things from aging (meant for items but rubbed it on himself to stop decomposing), he began to fuck local townsmen with his disease ridden corpse body and raise them after they die. That's how we got all the men to pilot our ship that the king gave us. The very ship we received after we gave the king a cure that would save his life from a terrible disease but was cursed by the pit fiend that originally told us to go to the king in order to keep him alive but weak, so his paladin son couldn't take over and cause problems for the pit fiend. We may have went a little on the evil route when given the choice, but at least it didn't cause any penalties to our classes...

[@hansofaxalia]

I had my first dnd home brew session at a church camp. It was a zombie themed campaign that featured a catholic priest and a alcoholic janitor

[@sonofsparda657]

my first dnd session ever was the "shia la beuf" pickup homebrew game where your entire objective is to kill or escape from shia la beuf. and it was absolutely hilarous, i played a japanese schoolgirl on holiday that only spoke japanese and nobody in the party could understand her.

[@RandyCivilized]

10:00 the fact that this video is 7 years old and that line still holds up is crazy

[@kellysmith7357]

XD

[@bastianalsoknownasagoddamn3647]

I love that the cult boss in the beginning is acting better than the actual cult boss in the movie

[@Naokarma]

Forget the boss. Babarilias (or however the hell you'd spell that abomination of a name) is the real actor.

[@ChromiumDome411]

@@Naokarma I mean. He does some decent work in the lack in a normal name.

[@benjaminespinoza9093]

also jons party looked at lot more then the movies party

[@ianrumbaugh2075]

@@Naokarma rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrff33rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr4rrrrr is a gt4 ffffffrftfrffrfffffffffffffffffffff 4ff and rfree fffffffff4fffffffff rdd fffffffffffffffff4fff 4ffff

[@samuelrodriguez4374]

@@ianrumbaugh2075 you good?

[@zer0stars]

Did an actual DM just literally bring Tiamat, the Dragon Queen, on a lone Level 7 Rogue. Not gonna lie, if the DM did that to me, I'll kill myself too.

[@faerhazar939]

Well, if they did it to the cleric, tiamat would've died!

[@SpookySquid14]

I may do this as an April fools

[@garfoofian8507]

Tbh the player sounded like a "that guy"

[@ilovepandas1246]

They might’ve referenced the old Babylonian daddy that the dragon’s name is derived from.

[@trypl3372]

You, sir, are a dumbass

[@naradac841]

I shouldn't try to tell this story, it's sad, but I'll tell it anyways. I was in a roleplaying game while I was very depressed, and it felt like the game had become my only form of escapism and enjoyment in my life. Then, my character died. I almost shot myself over it, but I was talked down and ended up going to a mental hospital. I came out, and ended up becoming much, much better off then I had been on that night. I still like to do roleplaying stuff, I don't think the game or the character were the root cause of how I had felt, so I kept playing it. A friend of mine who I liked to joke with told me that I "went full Blackleaf". I was actually realizing that I never gave my character a last name, and then realized that 'Blackleaf' was perfect. So, as my way of kind of taking it back, Blackleaf has become the character's last name.

[@tiggytheimpaler5483]

Completely silly side note but my church's pastor actually knew chick. I never knew if they were friends at one point but in the baptist community (the kjv Bible community as a whole) he's actually pretty devisive. Any ways after a spat between my pastor and either chick himself or one of his employees my pastor started a D³ night every Thursday that was D&D and Doom night just to annoy chick and would send him pictures of everyone playing d&d to chick just to troll him. Miss that old cranky bastard Another side note, Doom is sold at my local Bible stuff store because it's considered a Christian game because Doom guy fights demons because it's the right thing to do and because he's a devout catholic (which is cannon but caused problems between the staff because most of them were Mormon but you know, meh) They even tried selling little stuffed rabbits with the game in little hand made Doom helmets but the owners of the IP actually got a little mad about that because the proceeds didn't go to charity

[@tnt_rebel2796]

That’s a fun fact for sure

[@brandoncarlson1565]

No one told Marcie she could just reroll a new character, no big deal.

[@EmeraldLance]

Nah, the DM picked the character for her. She never even rolled the first one. ;_;

[@brandoncarlson1565]

@@EmeraldLance What a lame DM. If anything in that film is sinful it's the DMing that goes on.

[@danielclark-hughes692]

Didn't even get to roll death saves smh

[@tahirmukic5460]

"You need it to convert the Muslims,who didn't realize they were worshipping the Moon God." "I ain't even going near that." Yeah. Me neither.

[@Johndoe-jd]

I anit either

[@quack-tastictictac1630]

Yeah,Yeah No.

[@n3nt2nd464]

I remember being all like "WHAT THE FUCK?!" when I heard that

[@shivanshna7618]

And also what's wrong with moon god that you need to convert people?

[@tahirmukic5460]

@@shivanshna7618 Nothing against the Moon God. But he is not the god of Islam.

[@non_brewed_condiment]

6:54 damn that's one hell of a daytime party

[@tnt_rebel2796]

I was thinking the exact same thing like even if it’s Saturday who has a party at 3 in the afternoon

[@joshitricara3407]

"I'm losing the fight!" Always cracks me up. 1:37

[@sirgideonofnirtheall-knowi1881]

"I have no mercy, I am chaotic neutral!" out of all the things they got wrong, they mange to correctly depict chaotic neutral players as murderous bastards. truly, a stereotype that transcends boundary

[@funnyvalentinedidnothingwrong]

Chaotic neutral is shorthand for "The DM wouldn't let me be evil"

[@majorblitz3846]

Lawful evil's Slightly less evil cousin.

[@sd5371]

The only alignment for a true Murder Hobo

[@satorukuroshiro]

I still have issues explaining to my group that Chaotic Neutral does not equate to murder-hobo or asshole.

[@funnyfella8198]

@@sd5371 underated reply

[@kramalukes]

I think this started as a pornographic parody, but when they realized they couldn't legally release it they cut the sex scenes and made it closer to the comic book.

[@judekeir6490]

Kram Alukes It was also a satanist ritualistic production.

[@Ashamedofmyself]

That makes a lot of sense

[@alithia2264]

-Should've been a lesbian porno-

[@judekeir6490]

@The Dead Peterson Kid fuck if i know dude this was three years ago

[@davidbanan.]

@@Ashamedofmyself how does that make sence?

[@Orion_Byrd]

The scene before the episode with the crystal ball gets me every time. You can see the older gentleman trying his damnedest to hold back a smile that briefly slips through.

[@JoJoZiddy]

I've watched this video a lot of times but how am I only just now noticing the abundance of Shin Megami Tensei music? Love it though, makes the video even better.

[@TheConnorWing]

"Don't be a Richard" Processing.. Processing.. OHHHHHH

[@jailorjailor1212]

I don't get it

[@TheConnorWing]

'Dick' Is a shortened version of 'Richard' (Don't ask me why.) Thus, 'Don't be a Richard' = 'Dont be a dick'

[@jailorjailor1212]

+Connor Monie (batboy) aaaaahh

[@GrubbJunker]

I'd have spent an entire day trying to figure that out.

[@jeffrepac8197]

+Defalt47 you ask nicely

[@ProfKranc]

I swear to god the production on Jontron's videos match the movie so well I'm finding it hard to distinguish what is Jon's footage and what is the movie. For a minute I was like "is he punking us? Did he make this movie?" XD

[@megamage911]

I kinda felt the same way actually haha xD

[@praxibetelix1664]

I thought 4:25 was still Jon's parody until he started making fun of the homosexuality line.

[@ByteDeity]

I understand you ProfKranc.

[@jlprizm]

Same. I thought the first shot was his footage definitely not the movie.

[@SC-hj3hq]

Lmao

[@TheSektorz]

0:57 I just LOVE that guy :D he's so close to laughing because of how ridiculous this scene is

[@BorgztheDutchCyborg]

...you know what *is* evil? Not letting people believe what they wanna, not letting people enjoy what they wanna, not letting people LOVE WHO THEY WANNA

[@Haxy811]

what the fuck? Clerics can't cast magic missile!

[@Archibaldh1pp0]

Haxy she got that REAL power tho

[@daebelly9844]

They also don't roll dice despite mentioning natural rolls(also a stupid slogan, an unnatural roll(if there's a + modifier) is better than a natural roll). They also have that BS house rule that somehow blinks their belongings out of existence if they dare show mercy. Also creating characters for players and forcing them rigidly to not break character while breaking character themselves. Also no character sheets were given or made for the characters. I know it's a parody but if this stuff was mentioned in the original tract then it'll bother me that much more.

[@huntergman8338]

Oh they can. It just below the belt.

[@Archibaldh1pp0]

Haxy Maybe it was a scroll, we don't know what her use magic item skill is at.

[@umbrellabirb2959]

YOU GOT TO REMEMBER DAT REEEL POWERRRRRRRR

[@michaellooks8397]

The "Don't be a Richard" hat is criminally underrated.

[@lifeisgood5619]

What happened to him 🥺

[@gefehede7783]

My friends name is Richard.

[@akirakurusu861]

Gimme your Richard

[@ShurilVolari]

@@lifeisgood5619 Death

[@codyallen2838]

I've seen that hat so many times in the wild

[@HOPE_ERADICATED]

5:19 best musical number of all time

[@timey_103]

"I have no mercy! I am Chaotic Neutral!" does does this movie actually know what chaotic neutral even means

[@mayhare9754]

I'm pretty sure that was on purpose. The people who made this are D&D fans.

[@callousTelegnosis]

This entire movie is just a joke on the Chick Track about DnD bc everyone involved in the productions are DnD players/DMs themselves

[@goroakechi6126]

This movie was made out of cheese, just so you know. I’ve seen the bloopers for the cuthulu worshippers, and they can’t take it serious either.

[@PassTheMarmalade1957]

I can't believe Chick Tracts actually endorsed this movie. Everything about it screams "This is a joke."

[@123darkelf]

Thanks for letting me know that exists. That’s some funny stuff.

[@SammyK728]

Didn't know you were a DnD fan Akechi

[@ansrfururactions]

@@SammyK728 for some reason the abbreviation DnD looks like an emoticon.

[@TheDracoStar]

@@ansrfururactions Ya know what... yeah that makes sense.

[@PatheticJedi]

"TODD HELP ME" Yeah, I'm usually screaming that when Skyrim starts glitching.

[@timewellspent8137]

"Todd Damnit!"

[@David-Starwarsfan]

Apathetic Jedi XD

[@kenbee1957]

Also what Fallout 76 screamed

[@sachiel197]

"it just works"

[@Christoph-ce4hj]

Todd and the Book of pure Evil was a pretty fun show

[@goobermcnoober8140]

Honestly if the Dark Side offered me a DnD group that was that rad I would join in a millisecond

[@Jaster_Mereel]

The real irony is that C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien were both devout Christians and filled their stories with allegories and symbols pointing to Christ.

[@Meggsie]

Soooo what is a good Christian boy doing in a girls' dormitory alone anyhow?

[@celvro796]

They say "Spank me." So he hits those bitches with the word of the lord.

[@Crowlum]

The "wood" of the lord? :P

[@Crowlum]

I misread your comment. ._.

[@angrytheclown801]

+Skittle Hero If you misread the comment wrong, I say we change it so you're right.

[@hamfranky]

You. Don't. Need. To know.

[@gamerrfm9478]

The only cultish behavior among real “RPG-ers” is the insatiable need for new dice.

[@ozone2629]

Without throwing out the old ones.

[@blurredvision96]

Goblin Brain says shiny number rocks go clickity clack

[@MidoriNatsume]

And findings new flavours of Pringles.

[@apollyonnoctis1291]

I play as a warlock of the Fiend Patron, and my patron is a demon princess who routinely sends me and my party little chocolates shaped like imps, candy canes shaped like pitchforks, and bottles of milk from demon cows. She even sent my character a cake on his birthday once, and even helped one of our party member’s cheer up when they were sad. She has ironically been the kindest reoccurring character in our dnd campaign, and has been kinder than even some of the angels we’ve met. Her name is Malciora.

[@callumleslie1680]

@@apollyonnoctis1291 I mean no surprise against the angels currently my angelic parent wants to kidnap me and torture me forever 🙂

[@Duothimir]

I legit had someone come into the Dollar General I used to work at and leave a Chick Tract booklet on a shelf. I was so proud I took it home as a trophy.

[@MikeOcksmallClips]

“Jack B. Nimble, Jack T. Chick. Jack be writing a pile of shit” -JonTron Been stuck in my head forever.

[@titanjakob1056]

“ARE YOU READY TO RPG” Pulls out rpg “muthafucker I was born ready”

[@jamescgallo1540]

7:50 for the bookmark of this beautiful meme

[@bottheskitarii8881]

*pulls out character sheet* "Is this the wrong type of rpg?"

[@bottheskitarii8881]

@StudiosOfAwesome and I'm only 15 or is that the crack in my my brain brain tells me

[@danstrikker6465]

I wanna know where he got that

[@aimeeboyde1819]

@@bottheskitarii8881 *pulls out ds with pokemon* Wait what?