Skyrim with Terribly Translated Dialogue (my goal is stupid)

[@Joov]

Your browser is holding you back. Level up with Opera GX: operagx.gg/Joov2

[@Joov]

ALSO IM LATE BUT I'LL HAVE THE MUSIC PLAYLIST IN DESCRIPTION LATER SORRY IM VERY TIRED WAS UP LATE EDITING TALK SOON BYE LOVE U

[@Tuyrz]

@@Joovhi daddy i miss you

[@JM-mg4el]

I don't need some 1337 epic gamer browser I'll stick to firefox

[@RudiHartinger-hp7zc]

Level up with next gen spyware? No thanks! Firefox Ublock and Sponsorblock

[@lbgstzockt8493]

Firefox is better

[@samvimes9510]

_"You have to pay in advance to get the crack"_ That sounds completely on brand for a Riften guard

[@davemardrov777]

Sounds like a manslayer video

[@Bigpep69420]

@@davemardrov777 manslayer. Certified hood classic

[@karlsnod2784]

Replace crack with skooma and it's technically lore accurate

[@TalexTheLich]

"Are you ready to see the world as a deaf person?" Is probably the most random and intimidating thing someone can just say lol

[@readlater8962]

If you see the world as a deaf person you just see people all around you moving their mouths, not able to hear sound

[@Inexpressable]

​@@readlater8962 no shit, Sherlock.

[@yokaithedumb]

that'll imply that "are you ready the hear the world as a blind person" is also a valid threat

[@TalexTheLich]

@@yokaithedumb Could be genuinely worse honestly lol

[@AerialFrameworks]

The Dragon saying “conversation” just to unleash absolute destruction is so Skyrim canon

[@Stitch_666]

Bro I read this as it happened 🤣

[@manooxi327]

​@@Stitch_666 Tame Impala mentioned 🔥🔥🔥

[@blizzardthewizardlizard]

That doesn't mean you can't find good bread in the desert.

[@theodst9861]

I read this as soon as that came up in the video

[@hundvd_7]

By _Flour_ of all people

[@YShiishening]

51:57 words to live by

[@reguluscummins878]

because of all the sandwiches there >:)

[@o80y1]

@@reguluscummins878the Starfield special

[@raynorzeraph953]

"both consciously and unconsciously. Do you know your problem?" goes hard.

[@georgehouliaras7239]

This is where the real game begins.

[@jacobjacobboi]

Mitten squad? 😢

[@therevenant40k]

May he rest in peace. We miss you, Paul

[@georgehouliaras7239]

@@jacobjacobboi Yes. RIP Paul 😞

[@razeguy9639]

This is where the real game begins

[@JackVice]

Rip Paul

[@FormerlyBlue]

This is an abomination of a Skyrim video, and I'm glad to have been a part of it. Thanks for checking out our mod Joov!

[@TheHK_47]

Idk if its already there but is this on creation club?

[@wiimotecactus3124]

@@TheHK_47 it isnt

[@emeraldkoala2]

​@@TheHK_47 I sincerely doubt Bethesda would put Badly Translated Skyrim on the creation club.

[@psyedk]

but why is everyone horny 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

[@unbeatable617]

@DomCombatVids I'm trying to get it on console but the tools for porting mods are so ass its really hard.

[@lucienmoolman8017]

39:56 I love how nonchalantly Dolphin transitions from telling you to kill yourself to WW1

[@Bram_Duin]

Esbren was a member of WHAT, Dolphin?!!

[@cinnibarbrenneka]

@@Bram_Duin Don't ask Esbern what he was doing in 1916

[@dono2926]

This is a crazy comment without context

[@TheGreatThicc]

​@@Bram_Duin he was a member of a Canadian rench raiding unit. That's why she couldn't finish, his crimes were *that* horrifying

[@HangmanOfficialUploads]

Must be a HOI4 player.

[@lordkrythic6246]

"If you're going to give me milk, give me something special." Damn....

[@PieSauce1994]

Homelander ahh line

[@lucienmoolman8017]

Ulfric Stormcock was probably the funniest translation I've heard

[@GodYeetosis]

"Alcoholic Tumors"

[@kaptanm_and_d5579]

That is Jarl Ulfric Stormcock to you!!

[@Maleketh42]

*Alfred and Stormcock

[@Ron_Jambo_]

@@kaptanm_and_d5579" Watch your tongue ! You are talking about Ulfric Stormcock, the True High King of Skyrim !" 🗣🔥🔥🔥

[@vlexonkol8466]

Ulfrim Stormcock, Sigma of Wilhelm

[@Jamaso.]

“I wanna show you something. Just with my hands.”

[@ya_fbr]

just gonna skip over the "i love you" part of that quote? how shallow... /j

[@gobbo1917]

The genuine "..c'mon.." at the end of that segment is what really made me die 😅

[@lema0925]

the courier is feeling a little *freaky* after traveling from the mojave to skyrim

[@MagisterialVoyager]

If anyone said this to me IRL I would’ve run. 😭💀

[@JustAnotherPilgrim]

Funny thing is, that works surprisingly well as an alternate title for this video

[@SimplyNotReally]

48:00 The timing of transitioning from alcoholic tumors, to good bread in the desert, to Stormcocks was a fucking laughing gauntlet. Well done

[@Jailathorne]

i was literally crying 😂

[@csquared4538]

I haven't played Skyrim in so long, I'm struggling to remember what they're called if not Stormcocks.

[@powdermelonkeg]

"Your boos mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer" has no business going as hard as it does.

[@Stitch_666]

Rick moment

[@guy-]

I read that in my mind in Rick's voice😂 Mid episode but hard AF quote

[@Balen-]

@@Stitch_666rick friend

[@Stitch_666]

@@Balen- rick ross

[@HangmanOfficialUploads]

When my grandfather was on his deathbed, he wanted to speak one final time with me. He said "You've grown so much... And become such a good man. Keep at that... and the world will become better around you..." and with his final breath, he said... "Confirmed...!" Rest in peace, grampa.

[@Kwauhn.]

KILL CONFIRMED

[@jinari1509]

Trimble!

[@tylerjantzen7621]

Ulfric's flawlessly casual delivery of "Bit." to peace out of the conversation feels like some actual next gen slang.

[@Winasaurus]

I honestly thought he said "I put Skyrim between my legs, bet." in the slang way like saying "no cap" or something.

[@optikalF]

Man I'm loving the green screen skits at the start of the videos

[@aamu3]

theyre hilarious

[@underscoreben]

“I have a recipe for you, his real name is pendall” is a bar of unbelievable cookage

[@Winasaurus]

I like to imagine the letter to Camilla is literally just "Faendals real name is Pendall" and immediately she has no interest in him. Name reveals are the ultimate relationship killer.

[@Swm9445]

One of the loading screens says Alduin is the best waifu. 43:48

[@Cheese-Whe3l]

I saw it and couldn’t stop laughing for some reason.

[@revilno]

37:28 in the words of slimecicle, “It’s called White run, not white float 10 feet in the air

[@rikstan15]

"That doesn't mean you can't find good bread in the desert." Wise words from Flour.

[@129140163]

49:04

[@ezgarrth4555]

> Potion of Develop Patience Me turning my face like a dog refusing a pill

[@kayalei30]

"your boos mean nothing I've seen what makes you cheer" is so fucking raw dude

[@RhysOfTheGrove]

8:21 "I am better than what god sent me" Actually iconic!

[@TheMusicHavenV2]

Yea I'm gonna start using that line

[@prophylaxis24]

I’m forever going to mentally insert “Snake Dogs” whenever I hear anyone mention Dragons.

[@Winasaurus]

I thought they were talking about Nightstalkers from New Vegas for a moment.

[@herpderpsami8275]

Don't forget how Dragon got changed to Carry on. What a pun.

[@YunoTheFearless]

27:50 The way you folded “There is A Better Way” into the chest had me laughing so hard I fell out my bed, she really ate the chest with that one.

[@QuintonCrisman]

“Are you ready to see the world as a deaf person” is the most threatening line I think I’ve ever heard.

[@RaggedVentures]

I like how the NPCs all "confirm" their own kills.

[@benthomas5532]

44:16 Paarthurnax the therapist prescribing anti-depressants fr

[@AceWolf456]

43:18 I love this conversation. The game became self aware for a second and just had to be like "I don't understand what's happening either."

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

"This is an example of sky haven temple" No Esbern, that is a book.

[@brandoncolemire4220]

27:38 “ever wanted to punch an old lady in the face? Well, now you can.” I’m pretty sure that’s Floridas State Motto

[@hundvd_7]

49:05 "That doesn't mean you can't find good bread in the desert" - Flour

[@Youraveragecultist]

“Ah yes… Jarl BIG BALL”

[@ri0tgh0ooul89]

JARL BALLIN’ 🕺

[@propergander8374]

Krosis....cirrhosis....alcoholic tumors?

[@MagnumCarta]

You are Dragonborn because papa Talos got a bit too wasted one night...

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

@@MagnumCarta Talos is just like Zeus

[@peaceofcrap]

"BASED DOLPHIN?" made me laugh so hard man. I pretty recently discovered your channel but I really enjoy all your content I've seen so far. You've got real charisma and the challenges you come up with are so fun and creative. Hoping to catch a stream live soon!

[@reggiegarcia07]

“I love you sir” Thank you, I needed that today

[@chancewoodruff7095]

This is what I imagine Cicero hears on a daily basis

[@raffiffar9873]

"How is it stored?" "in the balls" I died xD

[@abrownwhiteman7796]

Dude when I heard that I sighed and opened the comments. Lol

[@onionrangerduck7024]

What about 200g worth of "special milk" tho? 😢

[@TheJuize]

"Tell me"

[@dennissmith1072]

The interaction with that guard had serious "a girl totally flirted with me she just goes to another school" vibes. And then it turned out that alduin was trying to sell us on a timeshare the whole time.

[@Shiki_Ale]

38:38 "Immigrants have no rights. Let's help the poor" killed me omggg

[@firstGrunt]

That horse was the living manifestation of " i didn't hear no bell"

[@pokesaurusinninjago9631]

Now combine this with door randomizer and a Loot randomizer and you have a ultimate Skyrim randomizer

[@revilno]

3:27 its named that because thats what every alcoholic would say

[@justinowens2077]

I haven't laughed this hard at one of your videos in a long time. Phenomenal stuff

[@AquaticBlossom]

why is the 4th quarter of this vid slap so hard. i loved the first parts but i was crying from laughter in the 4th quarter

[@mrnobody8294]

The random bar brawl fuckin sent me💀

[@IdiotontheInternet-o7q]

Came for the translations, stayed for Multi Melee man

[@OutragedVirus66]

me: playing Skyrim Joov: it’s one dragon no big deal Me: gets attacked by a dragon literally 2 seconds later. You have cursed me Joov.

[@manooxi327]

Holy shit I was gonna clown on u for buying the drop zone spell so much. I screamed in joy when u used it 😂

[@pimmohs]

This might have honestly been the funniest youtube video I have ever watched

[@justinwoods535]

28:08, Rufus looking up at you like "What have you done!?" XD

[@sladevalen]

I did this style of build when lockdown happened and it was the most fun ive ever had playing an elder scrolls game! Dodging all the time to avoid losing your major buff from damage is such a high risk high reward style and i love it

[@0rangutann]

I swear half of all your videos is you fighting some falmer over and over again and I fuckin love it! Keep it up Joob!

[@missmara4980]

Omg that intro alone! 😂 I would love to see more Joov edited into the game, this was hilarious.

[@danielwisell3836]

“I don’t know if I should hit him” talking about the goat on the road 😭😭😭 oh noooo

[@thetwo-armedman]

10:32 "If you're going to give me milk, give me something special." had me dying! 🤣

[@harryemmott8597]

Loving the Skyrim content recently, such complete chaos but so watchable... This started off on the second monitor on the VOD channel and quickly became first monitor material

[@jinlee2737]

Love the higher production quality on your recent videos. Keep up the great work!

[@Amaryryry]

In the spirit of the video, I decided to run my comment through a handful of different languages, ending with "Breton". Thanks, Joov, I hate it. :') "I’m a computer, but when I worry about you, you become a puzzle. Shida Raja, Juva

[@icyphoenix2401]

19:07 Octatio's recital is your friend, havent watched the whole vid but its one of my favorite ordinator spells. (Casts up to like 3 spells when you enter combat automatically)

[@Whosaman0]

When Paarthurnax asked him “why do you want to know about garlic.” And then flew in a spiral directly upwards I lost it 😂😂

[@burkedigital]

This will be the first time I've ever watched an entire project from streams to main channel video! Love the work.

[@matthewchandler7845]

One of the BEST videos you have done yet! THANKS JOOVY!~

[@SkyBlueFox1]

Honestly, the machine-translation's whole obsession with WW1 references is really fascinating to me. Like, if I'm remembering my history classes right - in-between WW1 and WW2, people referred to the former as simply "The Great War", because of how widespread and destructive it was. The term "World War" didn't come into use until after WW2, and once it did, it completely supplanted the earlier "Great War" moniker. So the machine-translation recognized the phrase "The Great War" showing up all throughout Skyrim's dialogue, and assumed it was referring to WW1... but because nobody's called WW1 "The Great War" in decades, it just replaced the phrase outright. And on top of that, said references made it through all those repeated translations, from language to language to language, mostly-intact. There isn't... really much to take away from that anecdote, but I do find it to be a great example of how weird and wonky machine-translation really is.

[@sweynskarilsen9105]

The production quality is growing stronger

[@daemonburns-waight2421]

It is a misconception that people should not smoke -the High king

[@georgeoldsterd8994]

The bit where Ulfric says "It is a misconception that people should not smoke" reminded me of all those yahoos on youtube that say that keeping good posture is bad.

[@TheAlmightymidget1]

Absolutely loved watching these on the VOD channel!! So funny!😂😂

[@willtews955]

So I thought of a new challange where you use north, south, east and west of tamriel where you have to stay in that area doing all the quest. Adding the center point of the map to a spin wheel. You can't pick up, fight or do quest outside of your area unless you picked it up in your area before hand. Also, you can only stick to the roads to travel to quests. No fast travel, su4vival mode and legendary difficulty. To make it even more challanging you can have to choose your primary weapon you are going to use if you use axes you can only use axes. It doesn't matter if it's one handed or two handed. An axe is an axe. You need to choose one type of armor or go with only clothes and one crafting skill only. It is similar to a locked area challange and iron man challange. You can only talk to vendors if they gave you a quest. It can be a simple task or a big one. If a vendor is part of a quest chain then it is still within the rules. You can only use a horse if you are traveling on the road, no off roading. Also, you especially pick 3 skills and create a class around it. Sneak will only be used as a means to hide, this means no dealing damage. But if you choose it as a combat skill then that means unarmed damage only. No skill stacking is allowed which means fists will count as your main weapon. The only effective way to really increase unarmed damage wound be enchantments. Khajits do 22 unarmed total. Argonian to 14, they do 5 times more damage when a vampire. Everyone else does 4 which is just so very sad. Anyways, I think it would be fun to see how far someone could go. With these perameters it would make for a interesting mod. Alll other skills would be locked. Sneak damage perks would be locked. Does anyone know if one handed damage increase unarmed sneak attack? Also it seems a stealth unarmed vampire argonian would be overpowered early game. You would need to start level sneak at the start. Use money to buy enchanting levels and boom. You deal alot of damage without breaking the game.

[@olaftheviking14]

Tom is the chillest dragon ever.

[@GumusZee]

I've seen the whole VOD. I didn't hesitate for a second to click this video anyway - for the edit. First minute in and I'm already glad I did.

[@MagnumCarta]

It was not the punch that killed Alduin. It was the alcoholic tumors.

[@TheMajorWatson]

joov thx for the content. People don’t realize how much funny videos can brighten their mood.

[@whydidiwatchthis5174]

Go see a movie!🥶

[@MinnowTF]

It is a misconception that people should not smoke 🥶

[@s03ran]

You must drink, you must drink!

[@dougyofficial8142]

Please let us know I am right

[@somedudeonyoutubefrfr]

43:50 _"Alduin is best waifu."_ Literally the best quote

[@Wulfjager]

29:00 the funny part is that sheogorath would adore this mod if he knew he was in a videogame. Like, im surprised he doesnt speak like this normally

[@hazeltade3679]

I mean doesn’t he know he’s just part of a dream? Kinda similar right

[@celestialrodent]

this has to be the funniest skyrim-related video ive ever watched, i don't remember the last time i laughed this much

[@Noxlla]

Love sleeping to your VODS, man.

[@hotspidicey]

only a minute in and this video is incredible! the intro was so well done! as a long-time viewer it’s been awesome to see how your content improves and evolves over time

[@Manwelllll]

Your videos never disappoint dude. Amazing video as always.

[@surelylune]

this is so funny i fell asleep watching a joov video. i wake up and apparently you uploaded literally minutes after i fell asleep

[@dominateeye]

7:07 Delicious, delicious American Airlines.

[@Jailathorne]

Please do a part 2 of this… this is GOLD.

[@allenellisdewitt]

I kept yelling "the Wheels HUNGER" whenever their was a carriage kill. LOL

[@mayorglalie]

Was not expecting Iowa State strays in my Skyrim video but I'm here for it

[@SaulFemm]

Your edits are insanely good.

[@maxauz99]

I absolutely love when you release the video. And I can't believe you worked in the good bread in the desert quote, that was legendary

[@Zack-d3u]

“He knows violence against women” made my stomach hurt

[@rtyuik7]

i love how the "final battle" with Alduin starts with an argument on whether or not to go on a vacation...'Come to Lake Moore' "NO! were staying Home Sweet Home!!"

[@tommeakin1732]

1:43 What a Limmy reference 😂

[@zacedwards8828]

woah you have come so far. i absolutely love the intro on this. i literally sat playing skyrim watching this

[@alainadingee2322]

29:32 bro said hello to sovngarde 💀

[@The-Blue-Knight]

"In the balls" I spit out my water lmao

[@nightlistic8012]

I watched this the first time after eating some eatables, and I have not laughed so hard since I saw George Carlin live in D.C. back in the early 2000's. I Spent half the video wiping tears from my eyes. This has got to be one of the best comedy Skyrim videos ever. Think I've watched it a dozen times since, and still laugh. Thanks Joov for all your epic Skyrim and Fallout videos. I really enjoy watching them in sync with my own playthroughs. Your challege videos always give me idea's on how to challenge myself in the game. Helps keep everything fresh.

[@michaelclark09]

"Alcoholic Tumours" is a sick heavy metal band name

[@olddiggy4800]

"Your boo's mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer" is such a good line

[@MrPhantomIXYT]

"Download unarmed hotkey" how about just pulling up your favorite menu (the best favorite menu when compared to any other Bethesda title) and just unequip your weapon/spell while time has stopped?

[@MrPhantomIXYT]

I'll answer for him because I already know what he'd say "it's for speed running purposes"

[@SleepyKurisu]

IT'S FINALLY OUT! And I'm finally free enough to watch the twitch streams of the next Skyrim series let's gooooooo! At first I thought this was another mod but this one was still funny enough to be entertaining and the one punch twist made it all the better Maybe that's a future joov idea though because I've seen a mod (idk if it's open to the public yet I just saw it on a reel and that the guy got it made I think) where twitch chat can control what the npcs say

[@yungsigurd]

small chair 💅

[@JandKDuo]

Joov and his team are amazing, i watched live this entire run. Great job Joov and team!!! Tell me.