Jordan Schlansky's Douchebag Super Collider - 9/22/08

Jordan Schlansky's Douchebag Super Collider - 9/22/08

[@marycarla6245]

Jordan's ability to keep a straight face is really his super power.

[@RedBuffaloBull]

This is proof Schlansky is real, he can't act worth a damn. He's amazing in improv spots w/Conan though

[@ExtremeTG]

+Justin Lien he is definitely exaggerating, go watch his old videos, u can see jordan smiling a lot more

[@cosmonaut379]

he's an amazing improv actor and keeping in character

[@kelleyhice]

+ExtremeTG older than 08? Where? I can't find them on here.

[@NxDoyle]

Was there doubt that JS was real? Was it the same as the doubt that Karl Pilkington is real?

[@davidhavens5712]

iamnotfernando that's a proper profile pic bro

[@JohnnieDarko]

That was the most emotion I've seen from Jordan.

[@Goomba753]

+Johnnie Watts Then you should watch the newest Conan Scraps. It contains rare HD footage of Jordan Schlansky smiling.

[@colmmorris3966]

he's a deeply emotional man. sometimes moved to tears by a sunset.

[@TheVeregat]

You can tell Jordan's persona is real, just a slightly more exaggerated version of his off screen self.

[@k9nevienna]

yes, conan staff have confirmed on the internet (i cant remember where) that hes actually like that, but of course its a little exaggerated in the videos

[@eugeniocolombo8916]

​@@k9nevienna a fare il bonifico per il ritardo con cui ti parlavo al volo per il ritardo con cui ho fatto un po' di tempo che non è un saluto a te e famiglia un sereno Natale e un abbraccio a tutti voi e alle vostre esigenze e le auguro una buona idea per il ritardo ma ho avuto un po' in ritardo e grazie per la sua

[@rio_hates_handles]

@@eugeniocolombo8916 tf

[@ellis9505]

Jordan's mouth says 'capable of human emotion' but his eyes say 'dead inside'

[@manictiger]

Nah, it's not dead. It's just constantly processing external stimuli and analyzing tactical pathways, as well as target prioritization routines.

[@tomcruisemiddleteeth]

This comment gave me heartburn.

[@MarginalSC]

He's seeing the spirit of the moment. Participating in the moment is irrelevant.

[@FerretBarret]

He's a deeply emotional man

[@stevebrownrocks6376]

Jordan is thinking constantly, about various things. He lacks numerous friends, but has an ability to jump into a challenge & devise solutions. I witnessed this quality during the "escape room" challenge. Remember; Jordan's not like other people!

[@nsaiswatching]

I have met a person like Jordan. They are robotic, but they can play along in their own robotic way.

[@DanielVB04]

Yes four years late, but yes I completely agree.

[@lijo1830]

it must be some kind of autism. we shouldn't give them a hard time for it

[@SniffyPoo]

Jordan's personality here is less misanthropic than his recent stuff

[@MarshalTennerWinter]

ya, i thought that too!

[@blake1661]

Now I'm sure he is acting

[@WoZuiAiL]

I just fb-stalked him and his fb comments seem like 'him'. I think he is acting but still playing himself in a way.

[@TheTacticalMess]

Maybe he's going through a midlife crisis or some depressing stuff.

[@wilthomas]

His Twitter account is exactly what you'd think it would be.

[@JSPUFC]

A Jordan clipped I never seen before. Yes!! After watching it, this can't be real. Jordan acting funny?? On purpose? Wtf what timeline is this!!?

[@nohabloemojislosiento4930]

The special effects on Conan have always been top notch.

[@aperson2943]

I love the Oppenheimer quote at the end lol

[@johnwalsh6998]

I miss Max

[@AverageJane222]

Thats the first thing I always say to myself every time I watch these Late Night clips. :(

[@AverageJane222]

Thats the first thing I always say to myself every time I watch these Late Night clips. :(

[@pj101]

I think is one of the few things that I miss in NBC conan

[@eynchaglobus2694]

He actually pronounced conan's name correctly that time instead of saying conaan

[@maxcoluccio6493]

Thanks man

[@autumnleaves8660]

This is Jordan before his personality was taken from him during some MK ultra experiments.😂😉

[@Remember_Baker]

Crazy that Max Weinburg's son is the drummer for Slipknot

[@ezramotz8218]

Damn didn't know that that's pretty cool

[@Ibanezkoolman]

no. what!?!

[@Remember_Baker]

+Anthony Fonseca Yep Jay Weinburg is the drummer since Joey Jordinson left the band in 2013

[@Ibanezkoolman]

Ohhhh!

[@ashraymfkr1438]

+Huggy Bear Holy crap i didn't link them together! Thx for this comment.

[@CalebGriffinEsq]

Jordan should have his own TV show.

[@sarah_b_555]

Young Jordan 😍😍

[@andywalnuts8342]

"complete douchebag evisceration" is one hell of a phrase 😂

[@petertimowreef9085]

Helium leak? Hahaha "Super squaky high-pitched voice* Errr Sir! We have a problem!!

[@mansionwb]

Hahahahahahaha your comment wins the Internet.

[@avocadomonkey4892]

Brilliant! Conan, bring back more of these amazing skits! ... with Jordan! ... he's so young! :-D

[@CaspisSinclair27]

The Writer's Guild strike was indeed a dark time for us all.

[@daveigh]

You know you are in early 2000s when Paris Hilton is there

[@rhyssanders9122]

this really lets me know that jordan was being authentic in other clips, if this is him just acting

[@pikkuadi]

"Conan I'm sorry I can't let you do that" I see I see

[@pikkuadi]

@@udaysharma8644 well its def a quote from it

[@kylesanders8276]

Conan, Jordan, AND model trains?! Triple win

[@nevets68]

O gauge!

[@radhika5802]

Conan straight pimpin with those shades

[@WaldoBagelTopper]

What is this!?! I thought I saw all the Jordan Schlansky abuse there was to discover! This is a great day!

[@julianherrera7547]

Does anybody else miss Max Weinberg and the Max Weinberg 7?

[@michaelgibson8873]

Julian Herrera his son is the drummer of slipknot in completely unrelated news. just interesting I thought

[@AverageJane222]

Yes, most definitely. Max & Conan had great chemistry. One of my favourite parts of late night was the Max Weinberg 7 number after Conan's opening monologue. Conan, Max and Joel together was just incredible.

[@sylvestercrowley8909]

Conan, Max, and Joel 🖒👍

[@p0llenp0ny]

Not really.

[@accentontheoff]

Seriously how long has this Jordan business being going on :) I thought it was a relatively new thing.

[@drunkensailor112]

15 years

[@accentontheoff]

@@drunkensailor112 Wow. Didn’t know.

[@drunkensailor112]

@@accentontheoff we first saw him on tv in 2008. He had been working for Conan since 1994 though

[@accentontheoff]

@@drunkensailor112 Cool.

[@vaaleri]

I wish I had a house band following me, always playing when theres that awkward "just have to move from point a to point b" silence. like making a snack at the fridge then "MAX!" babadiboom a little toonage and then youre sitting on the couch "yeah max how was your weekend....."

[@TexMexRustlinGirl]

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS BLESS YOUR SOUL

[@deathlarsen7502]

Excellent choices for celebrity DB

[@ant33rux]

The particle accelerator is real!

[@tejaskadam6032]

This was basically avengers end game

[@Lurdiak]

Conan genuinely mad Jordan is getting applause.

[@BoltUnagi]

they never aired this here in LA because at the time of this episode a train was derailed.

[@sarah_b_555]

😦

[@1997CWR]

I can't be the only one who got the "now I have become death, destroyer of douchebags" reference

[@jja77a]

1997CWR you are not. Though it is kinda obscure for late night

[@1997CWR]

But then remember that Conan has an iq of 160. So it's really hard to predict his actions or references.

[@Dominian1]

Actual Quote is "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" and it is Oppenheimer quoting Shiva... destroyer of worlds. Hooray for knowing things now what do we do with that information?

[@Xerxes1337]

Circlejerk ?

[@flatearth2741]

Shiva as the statue at the super collider? can't be coincidence, we are doomed

[@ginolorenzo4117]

That explains why Ellen is no longer around

[@yashtrips91]

why is conan so awesome.. i will spend my entire life in awesomeness.. but he’s belond life.. he’s amazing.. 😃😃

[@yashtrips91]

i wish i could meet him someday.. him, Chappell (spelling might be wrong i dunno) and jake g-something (i couldn’t write the correct spelling cause am high).. this is my bucket list.. also to become one of them.. p.s. paul and ringo too of i get lucky (i went to paul’s home in london, he wasn’t there 😢)...

[@akshatanon238]

jordan's first public apperence

[@codienedreamin7439]

YOUR SHEPHARD wrong. He was in an episode way before this

[@aaronsmith1676]

I feel if this really happened, America would be in a much better place.

[@johnthegreek1980]

Jordan was actually smirking!

[@virginiataylor5593]

I miss Max!

[@stlcardinals251]

I was thinking the same...

[@AverageJane222]

Virginia Taylor Same :(

[@cstubbssubs7746]

Virginia Taylor his son drums for Slipknot

[@auunnfkristjansson6738]

+CStubbsSubs What,Joey jordison Max weinberg son. Noooooo

[@narutokiba10]

Damn, playing that Marv Johnson tune in the beginning

[@AozoraUltra2006]

I had a French teacher in middle school who spent a whole class lecturing us about how the world will change after they run the particle collider.

[@drServitis]

+Aozotra And nothing significant has come out of the super collider. A massive waste of money by the Europeans when they should have been spending their money on military defense. Currently America pays for 75% of European's military defense. It's time for America to withdraw from NATO and force Europe to take care of their own house.

[@creamybass]

+drServitis nothing significant? so new particle discoveries aren't significant? coz fuck physics, right?

[@swlk9996]

One of the main goals of the LHC was to discover the Higgs-Boson. Which was finally detected in the LHC in 2012. so the LHC did exactly what it was built for with great success. I understand people in the US lack education but that’s pretty common knowledge. Maybe you should read about it before writing nonsense @drWhatever

[@nondescriptbeing5944]

@@swlk9996it’s really interesting stuff but did it produce anything of practical use outside of science? Curious

[@bobbleheadconan]

LOL 0:55

[@RepaKTANET]

Jordan is real. I know a person whom is very simmilar to him

[@brucedepenha]

Is this Jordan's first appearance?

[@user-bn7rc9uv1m]

no

[@zero2nill905]

I have become death destroyer of douchebag's

[@josephbenobasa]

this is frost wienberg of collider news was born

[@MIsterSojaBohne]

well now i am certain that Jordan Schlansky is fake

[@pateleporter]

+MIsterSojaBohne I can't stop watching these tho

[@shellsy515]

Well you could tell he was reading from a cue card here, when normally he doesn't seem to be.

[@MIsterSojaBohne]

+linus515 yea you could be right

[@0427581]

+MIsterSojaBohne he's totally real, but for this bit and a few others he does go along with it and read from cue cards. He's extremely socially awkward in person.

[@rem299]

+MIsterSojaBohne Conan swears over and over again he's completely real. i believe him.

[@greg55666]

Man that was really unfunny. What did they do, raid Jimmy Fallon's vault?

[@judiebarbieri8847]

+greg55666 LOL!

[@SaintJimmy72]

+greg55666 Even the worst Conan bit is funny, especially much funnier than fallon's crap ;) get a sense of humor

[@alanamcconnell2977]

I love Conan so I'm just gonna blame it on a writer who had an off day

[@byron2745]

It's funny for anyone who actually managed to complete 5th grade physics and have an IQ above 100..

[@Liztivien]

You're bragging about completing fifth grade physics and having an average IQ on the internet? You've defeated yourself good sir.

[@Bitshitter]

Oh my God, Conan puts on some orange sunglasses, and they immediately disappeared! I can't see them anymore!

[@lovedolly4093]

nice music

[@MrMotherfuck123]

Jordan is 50/50 real.

[@Nerfherder3]

2:00 Helium leak? They had a magnetic quench event and it ignited the helium and caused an explosion and fire

[@ktxed]

+Rick Meyer How can helium be ignited? I thought it was inert.

[@greg55666]

+Rick Meyer It ignited the helium?! Wow, that must have been quite a fire!

[@greg55666]

+ktxed YOU'RE inert! (that's what Arnold would say. :) )

[@ktxed]

+greg55666 I'm not inert, I reacted :D

[@SoNoFTheMoSt]

+Rick Meyer look up noble gases

[@joaquinblanco9858]

Jacket killer stable even stair exception value wise.

[@dednburied]

they didn't show mahoud amidinijad

[@Bimshwel]

the video was cropped in a strange manner. the top, right and bottom edges are cut off.

[@williambrown8249]

this aired one week after lehman brothers' bankruptcy

[@joebaumgart1146]

I wonder what my handle is?

[@eduardochavez8486]

A Jordan with sense of humor????

[@ryancarrion782]

And that’s how Jordan became a robot

[@JonasC22]

I was waiting to see the pile of ashes that Jordan turned into

[@Moon-ki4rd]

I actually think it was funny! It changes from all the same topics we hear on these shows

[@SmugSuspenders]

Conan wakes up as Bill Cosby.

[@mr.chipwhitley8770]

Lmao at the fire extinguisher at the end!!

[@SaulTamalez]

jordan is scripted in this but doesnt seem so in the recentvids

[@Fliphistory]

sex collider was still the best

[@samuelvelazquez4096]

haha..man these people are pushing this..

[@iamalive82]

Whoever wrote this was cynical and mean, but justified it by being jealous of other people’s undue fame. That is actually kind of funny though.

[@GreenbeanFloyd]

Listen closely around @5:58. Does anyone else hear someone scream “What the fuck?”

[@00bean00]

"The douchebag continuum", ROFL

[@prorobo]

Waste of two Lionel locomotives.

[@prorobo]

keel09889098 That made sense...

[@KaizokuShojo]

+robo931 The video was iffy, are you sure they weren't Bachmann or something? I mean, if they were Lionels, totally was a waste, something else should've been used (although, nothing can be done now...)

[@prorobo]

KaizokuShojo Definitely O scale. Maybe not Lionel but odds were good.

[@JMMT7022801]

I used to follow Spencer on Instagram. 😃

[@domydishes]

wow, jordan is really bad at emoting, no wonder he stopped

[@stevebrownrocks6376]

Ok, Jordan just read from a card, proving he's really a fantastic actor & straight man, perfect for a comedy duo with Conan!

[@danielc8614]

damn forgot about max

[@SuperWoodgod]

Clickbait title. Let's be honest here.

[@kuziokundera]

Who the hell is/was Spencer Pratt LOL?

[@user-ht9oc7gw1f]

he's from a famous reality show..

[@brianharris2434]

wanna play lucky strike?

[@TardRepellent]

was this before he was popular? because it seems like a completely different character, Jordan Schlansky.

[@Zetsuke4]

Lol

[@lethe56]

Jordan was making a joke, there, so who's to say he's still not in character today? Hmmm...

[@damiansaucedo8177]

Exactly! To all the people who really hard ass thought he wasn't acting GAWD! This and the writers strike vid with him are proof Done.

[@mali22]

lethe56 If you look at his eyes, you can see he's just reading it off a card, but he does seem more normal than usual...

[@vividhkothari1]

Misleading title

[@privateprivate6459]

Doing the physics in my head before the inelastic collision and thinking “ this will be weak”. 🤦‍♂️ I was a fool to take the experiment seriously and not thinking they would do a remote detonation. The nerd instincts overcame the common sense.

[@curiousgamer9343]

How did Conan survive?😀

[@not_riley]

This skit was just boring. And having Jordan in it was just a waste of time.

[@Enkiadu007]

Lmao my jewy jew brother also thinks and trys to act like he an Italian.. it's hilarious