joselita

may 30th 1969
the day you were born
march 2nd 2005
the day i was born
my father was there
you were there
as you needed to
because you are my mother
you taught me how to walk
taught me how to talk
what to talk
and what not to talk
if i spoke a word i was not supposed to say
my father would laugh
youd cover your mouth and chuckle
and say that i was not supposed to say it
as you needed to
because you are my mother
when i got old enough to go to school
you would teach me about the good people
the bad people
how to introduce myself
what to eat and buy
what money is and was
what path to take when it was time to go
id take your hand and drag you inside the school thinking you studied as well
but you didnt
obviously
because you are my mother
as i grew up more
you taught me how to cook
then made me cook rice
cook beans
eggs
you taught me how to make a meal for myself
in case you werent home and if there was nothing to eat
and it was obvious the reason why you wouldnt be at home
you had a job
you had to give the best of yourself to clean the floor
and clear the windows
and even when you got tired
you needed to get back home and do your best here as well
obviously
because you are my mother
as i grew up even more
i saw you grow up as well
not on a good way
i thought it was just a cold
a bad day
then it affected your body
it affected your heart
and you could not stand up for longer
only for a short period of time
you would dismiss it and still try to be the figure you were years ago
you had to keep it at that
because you are my mother
and then it got worse
you went to the hospital
you couldnt do the things you could do years ago
you could only stay in bed
only laying, moving your head and arms
as you took more dosages of medicine
eventually your heart slowly couldn't take it anymore
you needed a new heart transplant
i offered myself, and you dismissed it obviously
because even if i'm your son
you are my mother
you have a more delicate body
my heart is small and fragile
and willpower isn't enough to bring your whole body to life again
eventually you worsened again
and yesterday you had to be intubated
and today
your body gave up
your heart turned off
your brain is permanently sleeping
but your soul is set free
youre not in pain anymore
i couldnt save you
yet it was not my fault or your fault
you're not only my mother
you're a figure i strive to be
you're the objective i want to achieve
you're the path i want to take
you're the vision i dream of my future
so what if it means i'll also die the same way
so what if it means i wont be doing the same things i could do years ago
so what if it means i wont be forever young
i dont care about the date of my death
i dont care how i'll die
i care about what can i teach
i care about what can i do before i cant
life is about doing what you can at your own pace and learning how to let go
living off the past doesnt bring a future
and i know damn well you'd tell me to stop crying
you'd tell me that life is this
you'd mention how i saw your own mother pass away too
and your brother's sister
and i cried too there
but i stopped and i started to cherish their presence
so why cant this happen to you
youd ask me this
and my answer
is that this is why youre my mother
and my follow up
is that i would never ask for a different life
if i had 100 lives
i would spend all these 100 lives alongside you
learning the same exact lessons
because its not only about the lessons
its you
its always been you
so
from the bottom of my small and fragile heart
i will forever shout that i love you, joselita
30/05/1969
11/08/2024
i will take a break from gd
big break or small break

[@sgamet9010]

108942870 read the description

[@Audieo]

❤thoughts and prayers man

[@maschuy6558]

This made me cry. I only wish the best for you...

[@Zanexous]

Powerful

[@gamingwiths2110]

beautiful tribute, may she rest in peace, thoughts and prayers for you and your family ❤️

[@GDMilesTails77]

Absolutely stunning stuff. Take it easy and take as long as you need, we’ll be there for you ❤

[@fivepebbles]

beautiful

[@febrizz1759]

this is absolutely touching.

[@mango7766]

incredible level with a beautiful poem. wish you the best dude ❤

[@folddyy]

man, breakcore songs and these types of visualizers just makes me really feel.. something that i can't describe. also sorry that happened to you ): man

[@Baylow]

i am so sorry for your loss

[@IamWas_]

I had never excepted this level to have a sad backstory. This level is amazing 10.14152653/10

[@CutTheVioletWire]

Im so sorry for your loss. Rest in peace 💜

[@Bl3nDi0]

It's amazing that you were able to show emotion using only shaders and no gameplay

[@gequigd]

i'm really sorry man i'm sure was a great mother

[@ryuu.62]

Nossa cara, sinto muito, não sei como reagir a uma perda assim

[@xetto]

this level is absolutely magnificent, i'm so sorry for your loss 💙💙

[@ILikeVirtification]

The emotions i felt playing this level were something different, horro of loosing somebody you love. Take care man

[@GATOCHATOKKKKKKKK]

sinto muito pela sua perda.. ela está em um lugar melhor agora, ainda do seu lado, mesmo que vc n veja, espero que vc se recupere

[@latiagtiag]

I would have hoped to have known you earlier as a creator because you seem to be a brilliant and touching person on a human level. Obviously the incident lends itself to it but it shows that it's too early to happen to you, life is so unfair. Unfortunately we hardly know each other but I wish you all the luck, and to stay strong, we all hope that it won't harm you too much. you are the best I have absolutely no doubt (not talking about creation or anything, you already know all that and it has nothing to do with it apart from your level, I'm afraid I have the awkwardness of talking about it when it doesn't necessarily have a place in my message) Stay strong we all support you

[@GM360]

sorry about this man ♥

[@wallywalrushd243]

First of all, im deeply sorry for your loss, I hope her soul may rest in piece in heaven. But id like to say that this level wouldve been just that little bit cooler if there was invisible auto gameplay that somewhat synced with the crazy breakcore music. Id be down to make it for you if you are interested, but its understandable if you wish for a project like this to stay a solo or in its current state considering how personal it is.

[@sgamet9010]

leave the level as it is

[@x.future]

I'm so sorry for you loss absolutely stunning work

[@eduardosrj]

Não consigo nem imaginar, cara... Que Deus conforte você e sua família de alguma forma nesse momento, meu amigo... Um abraço do Edward0.

[@eswatomo]

♥

[@PIexx]

Im sorry for your loss, losing a parent is a sorrowful and heavy change in life The description is beautiful and brought me to tears

[@andrejthestickman531]

this is absolutely stunning

[@flakeygd]

🤍

[@Ligtat]

🖤

[@Malam_NightYoru]

I'm so sorry jonas. Everything will work out... I promise... I will always be by your side, friend. I know it hurts. And for you, it hurts in an incomprehensible level. I hope you can trust me going forward. I wish i can help you 😔. Take care, jonas. You are a good person, and your mother wouldn't want you to get harmed. My condolences, the world sometimes aint fair...

[@dx9scope]

windows media player visualisers:

[@BuffGekoYT]

Rally cool (still trying to make a level myself lol)

[@kikisamo]

beautiful