32 years old: I have NO friends - Is it Social Anxiety?

[@JoshHitti]

WOW. I'm absolutely blown away by how receptive, kind, and helpful all of you have been. To be completely honest, I stopped checking this video after a few days. I felt sort of lame for posting it, however, it's very evident that thousands of others relate to my struggles. I had no clue this many people would end up seeing it, let alone be so supportive about it. There seems to be a very common theme with many questions and comments, so I'll make a video this week to update y'all. Cheers.

[@Freddie1M]

Looking forward to it.

[@40miperkins]

Hey bud, thank you for your vulnerability. So many people go through what you are going through and your sharing gives others the courage to reach out. Get yourself a somatic psychotherapist, with a relational point of view, like Hakomi. There may not be many therapists like this where you live, but with tela- health, you have more options. Wishing you the best

[@Freddie1M]

@@40miperkins Will look into this thank you

[@humanrel]

Yes we relate to you. I like to hear more from you in future videos.

[@ritahahahaaha]

Sharing is truly caring, by you Sharing your story we are learning and you are healing. We all need friends in our lives .💜

[@goldentsar9388]

Having no friends is sometimes better than having the wrong friends.

[@DX-d]

"Sometimes better than having the wrong friends"? So, having the wrong friends sometimes is better than having no friends?

[@goldentsar9388]

@@DX-d Having NO friends is sometimes better than having the WRONG friends aka "frenemies", people who will stab you in the back.

[@inactive2190]

@@goldentsar9388 so true!

[@Marc-ox2rj]

@@inactive2190 yeah friends can be a blessing and a curse. Once youre completely alone for a while tho youll eventually start to miss being with people

[@fwashortz1252]

Ya

[@johnkellett2669]

If your wife is not only your only friend but your best friend your doing better than most....

[@shamfagrey]

Totally. Vice versa

[@Nepthu]

Yeah, but it's a cop-out really. You can't make one person responsible for your entire mental and emotional well-being. It's too much to ask and can be a burden. At least having one friend aside from your spouse is a good idea.

[@johnkellett2669]

@@Nepthu I guess you didn't understand what I was trying to say.....That's Ok

[@fromeveryting29]

@@Nepthu I think the point was that some people have neither, which means 0 affection, 0 shared burden, 0 corrective feedback on negative thought patterns, 0 belonging. That's very hard on a naturally social animal like us.

[@Bankz12]

Agree.

[@anirudhsharma8912]

im 64..i have no freinds.. i can feel my age taking tool on my body.. i live lonely in a van, no wife, kids, relatives.. im a nomad.. but im happy

[@olderbadboy]

i happy you are happy man :P .

[@kubasniak]

are you really? how your days look like? what do you do?

[@04dram04]

This is the way that eastern mystics live. Go in a cave to live for years alone. To get to know and learn to love themselves

[@carlosfernandopradagarcia6415]

That´s amazing

[@oc5515]

I also live in a van down by the river.

[@Turnamonkey]

Bro you are an INSANELY good lookin dude. Smart, fit, articulate, well-mannered. Easily in the top 10th percentile. You just gotta believe in yourself bro. There’s hope out there. Whether it’s board game clubs, Facebook groups, or just meeting people at a cafe, you got this if you believe in yourself. Keep going at it bro, you got this

[@macaroon147]

@@distantraveller9876 Yeah im also quite attractive and usually have no friends

[@xmaverickhunterkx]

Sadly correct. @@distantraveller9876

[@nickmckenzie9686]

yeah he seems like a very attractive person, just goes to show social anxiety shows no boundaries or discrimination, i would consider myself to be fairly attractive and was popular with the ladies especially in school, but i too suffer from social anxiety, and have trouble making and keeping new friendships, and often feel very nervous around people at work.

[@Rokinevythng14]

I guess it goes to show that it’s not because we aren’t good enough, it’s that the world doesn’t make sense, connecting with people is always a challenge

[@Mikael-jt1hk]

The thing is... Men dont want attractive friends in general. It is of no benefit to us. Especially if we have a girl. His looks might even be the reason he has no friends. A LOT of beautiful people are fucking miserable. Did you ever wonder why?

[@Sonia-jk7lf]

37, no husband, no friends, and no family around me. I've been living abroad for the past 12 years of my life with no friends at all. I choked up when you choked up.

[@Angela-un2tx]

I feel you... traveling. We travel for a reason.... I call myself a mover and a shaker. Friends mean relationships, and relationships ultimately mean pain.

[@jones2277]

same story, except i'm not abroad.

[@playstationtwo877]

I'm 20 and don't have any fucking friends

[@badass_omelette5166]

Same here

[@unknowndriver6652]

I had lot of friends when i was in my 20s cause i party a lot but those were not real friends i realized that friends will always be there as long as you are economically and mentally well its all about bullshit interest now i am 42 and im abroad working 7 days a week making tons of money and even though some times i feel very lonely ain't gonna stop working for anybody now it is first me after the rest.. don't fucking waste your time for anybody who is not 100% there for you keep moving , growing, working in yourself , thats the key of success

[@encompassvideo5429]

Bro: At 30 I was the following: broke, jobless, friendless. At 55 I am married with two great kids, have plenty of resources and all sorts of friends. You life is just starting, but you must take it a step at a time. Have faith.

[@AndreOliveira-cu3fy]

this is nice to hear

[@cyclops9202]

same but im 20 and i feel like my life is over... i hate this feeling im so young and idk what to do

[@mitchellvp1]

@@cyclops9202 bro you're fine. You dont have to do anything. The term 'friends' is just relative. You lose some, you win some. 💪

[@UnexpectedAmy]

That's so amazing, I love hearing this inspiration! Can I ask what changed for you?

[@Zeosth]

Wow your age is like AR in genshin impact

[@quietbelle8662]

This is actually a very comforting. Nobody talks about this like its a taboo. Thank you for making MANY of us feel not so alone.

[@dp6970]

So true👏🏽🙌🏽

[@jmj1546]

^ this

[@noverschi24]

Exactly

[@charliedays]

People can say whatever they want, but I strongly admire those who post these videos. 100% raw emotion here, and as an SA sufferer all my life, I totally relate.😞

[@shytisefitness8743]

Right. I literally didn't have friends my entire life and felt so alone.

[@otaviooliveira2836]

Having no friends is hard. Loneliness hurts so bad. I bet there’s a lot of people out there taking selfies with their “friends”, but deep down they too feel lonely inside.

[@gaurs230]

Yeah I am really glad I exited that friend group maybe

[@WillThomas-hs3oj]

Oh yeah without a doubt, there are so many ppl our there, who fake it to make it, and try to put out a persona like everything's great, when in reailty, there not happy at all in the inside, i would much rather have a couple close friends that I know are my real friends, vs having a bunch of friends that aren't really real

[@iiCounted-op5jx]

"The issue with being a lonely teen or young man is that the defining feature of your crowd is antisociality. Couple that with crippling social anxiety, depression, awkwardness, a lack of established connections, and constant doubt and self-deprecation, and you will never meet people like you outside of online echo chambers unless you are extremely lucky. You will dislike almost everyone. All of your mental issues will immediately manifest in your appearance and demeanor and make you an incredibly unlikable and unenjoyable person unless you’re very good at masking. If you are, you will always feel like an impostor in your own skin, you will never connect with the people around you beyond a surface level, and you will worry constantly. If you don’t, most people will either think nothing of you, or see you as boring, or maybe an easy target. The world will make you mature without growing up, and you will end up tense, defensive, and incredibly lonely. You will always feel like an intruder, a third wheel, always feeling you’re missing out but never willing to do anything about it."

[@monk3yboy69]

I do not equate having no friends as being lonely. You can have thousands of friends and still feel lonely. For me, the secret is to be very comfortable in your own surroundings and space and to be able to enjoy your own company. Being alone and being lonely are 2 different things. If you are happy in your own mind and happy with your own thoughts , you will never be lonely. I have reduced my number of friends right down to below 5 purely because the were toxic and meaningless friendships built up through clubbing and partying ( unstable foundations). I can go for weeks on end and not speak to any of my friends and that is great for me. I know they are there and vice versa. But we all have our own experiences. Being secure in who you are is key.

[@spideranansi929]

I don't know what's worse, not having any friends or having a lot of people around you, who you cannot be yourself around.

[@jf6636]

The 2nd option is worse because you are just there and being someone you aren't. And then you feel bad. Better to be by yourself doing something productive until the right friend comes along.

[@moatasemkassab4517]

@@jf6636 Which isn't pragmatic.

[@jf6636]

@@moatasemkassab4517 maybe. Part of me gets what you may be saying. Can't isolate or you won't find a friend. But I was thinking more like saving myself a lot of hardship/time not wasting it on ppl who I don't align w or are initially dismissive of me. I feel you can sense well-meaning ppl from those who you just won't click with.

[@moatasemkassab4517]

@@jf6636 I entirely agree.

[@CharismaStrategies]

A person not feeling like they can be themselves in ANY situation, no matter who it's with - it's important to understand that that is YOUR own issue and not the other person(s). You should be yourself at all times no matter what, as an act of self love towards yourself more than anything. It's how people react to you BEING yourself which is what is important to observe. Then you know who respects you or not. But you should always be yourself and no one else is to blame if you choose not to be yourself. It's a choice. It's important to take self responsibility.

[@OriginalArqi]

one of the weirdest parts of being a live is having stuff like this going on and no one talking about it with you. we just kinda sit there and deal with it on our own.

[@tiwiogunye]

Its crazy right ? Because its something that a lot of people experience so you would think people would discuss it more

[@tiwiogunye]

@J T shouldn't you be playing with lil uzi

[@inactive2190]

I think that many people feel shame for admitting this, but it's completely normal! Here's to finding great friends someday in the future🙌🏽

[@cat_atouille]

im 21 and getting more and more scared everyday. with the pandemic and stress from working from home, it hits different when you realize you have no one to talk about things with you. i hope i can still get an opportunity to meet new people

[@tiwiogunye]

@@cat_atouille you will

[@endoroboto]

The irony of all this is the more connected the world becomes the more isolated individuals also become.

[@StefTechSurfer]

True.

[@geraldgale6785]

exactly why the corporate central bankers released this technology instead of the real Nikola Tesla free energy. nope we got these crappy ass coal burning slave phones. darn.

[@tackyvanilla6725]

Social Media can be used as something to hide behind. Instead of facing your fears and talking to someone in public you can just look down at your phone and avoid it all. It doesn't connect you as much as make a whole entire world just for you. People need real connection and sometimes the hardest and first step of that is to put the phone down.

[@dev.morrison]

This is relatable for many of us men! Your courage is admirable. You’re speaking for a lot of us.

[@rubiesofgold7698]

As a 50 year old wife and mom, I can assure you that it’s not just you. Society and culture has changed so much. People are taught to associate with people that check certain boxes. We’re now in a very status oriented society and our culture tells us to present our accomplishments…usually online. I remember back in the 80s/90s, people would just hang around who was there. Sure, there were quirky ones, wild ones, silly ones, but we would just accept people for who they were and enjoy the moment. It’s called unconditional friendship and it is indeed hard to find in our ‘self’ focused culture.

[@TheDarkstar3601]

This highly depends on your place, culture, and/or practice(hobbies and shit). I grew up in a Christian environment where people get along very well regardless of status. My dad is an engineer, and his best friend is a guy we call "Nonoy". Nonoy is a poor carpenter we met at church. He is also very well-known & well-respected in our church despite his low status in the career field. We greet each other a lot there, do activities, and have a very family-like relationship with the church members. Outside of our church, the world is a rat racing competition. Unless you belong in a good community where people know each other, do stuff with each other, and doesn't give a flying fuck about whatever u do for a living, you can only see the world of competition. This is only my opinion based on my experiences. Bye.

[@musical.theory]

It's funny how people like to say that "now is bad" (no hate towards you, Original Poster, that's just my personal pet peeve!). Society has ALWAYS been status oriented, starting from our primitive ancestors, the alfa would be DA man. People stuck up their noses in XV c., XVII c., XX c. and now. What's important is to find people YOU feel good with. I was fortunate to grow up and come across very normal people; if it didn't happen for you guys naturally, the FIND THOSE GOOD PEOPLE, ditch those that let you down/don't see you for you.

[@Momo212]

wow THIS

[@PEPSIMAX2013]

i relate to much to you and also i think he has no friends ......because his wife ...i swear my experience and im 40 and okay with 12 friends

[@mikeo9074]

I actually think its more of a collectivist society that you're desciribing, not 'self' focused. More 'detached from self' would be correct; all for the sake of being liked

[@yadetnare]

Shows how powerful mental health is, this guy could literally be a model and looks so good from the outside. You'd never think he has internal battles. Shows you how challenging it can be. Respect for opening up, this video definitely helps a lot of people.

[@justonlyjohn6596]

He's likely blowing smoke up everyone's ass... Meh, I still won't delete what I wrote as THAT'S TRUE.

[@dueth2508]

He looks like a model because he’s overcompensating for the social issues. I know that because I do the same thing. And people like John are why its even harder to open up and recover from this. They simply see us and say nope nothing wrong there. Not knowing its just a shell to fit in. Or at least try too, but I think it has the opposite effect.

[@dnegel9546]

Yeah guy is tall and handsome and is complaining about not having friends. 🙄 Now imagine being short, fat, ugly and poor oh and not having friends. Welcome to life on ultra hard mode. Not only will you not have friends or a relationship but you will constantly get passed on in the workplace for leadership roles or promotions.

[@chelsmartin2393]

I thought the same thing sometimes good looking people are intimidating!! It’s no fault of theirs but you automatically assume they have lots of friends! Or I couldn’t compare to his/her exciting friends when it’s just assumptions that keep us from building good relationships! Or a lot of us have had bad experiences with friends and family!

[@prosimian]

@@dueth2508 true. I always go out of my way to look good. I get a haircut every two weeks, trim and shape my beard twice a week. I take time deciding what I will wear. I have social anxiety.

[@tiarahines]

I’m 30 and struggle with the same thing but it’s so beautiful to know that we’re all here experiencing the same human experience and we’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with us.

[@ChristianDominique]

Nothing wrong with you Tiara. Cheers and be well.

[@quinncreel6091]

I've been told my whole life there's sth wrong with me just because I have trouble connecting with people.

[@ZosiaSamosiaOo]

It was so refreshing to me when I saw these "I have no friends" videos recently, I actually thought I was the only one in the universe, next to elderly people who at least have something to look for (end of life) and here I am at 29 with no date of end to this excruciating loneliness. I feel for you and all of us, but at least we can find comfort in knowing we are not alone.

[@billsimms2511]

Yes but I’m becoming more aware of how damaging the internet is in regards to this issue. It’s way too easy to dive into the internet for hours and chat on there as it sort of feels like socializing but it’s really not at all. It eventually worsens our ability to socialize face to face

[@Stardust3567]

@@billsimms2511 the world would be a much better place to live without modern technology.

[@SlabSweptClean]

Nah bro. You are a good dude. You’re helping people here, even if you can’t see it, you’re a friend to some people here.

[@marinwillow23]

A man who shows vulnerability makes him more of a man. I admire you.

[@parisiansparkle]

it makes him more of a friend too lol

[@theprotagonist926]

How?

[@misstigerbubbles]

Anyone who shows vulnerability lmao don't make this a gender thing

[@Keplaris]

When you open yourself up, other people will often find it easier to themselfes tell more about themself

[@noble604]

He seems like a really nice guy. Agreed

[@BudzzableRides]

I’m 61 & all my close friends have passed away recently. I’ll never have people that close again, so enjoy your few friends while you have them. I miss my old buddies every day!

[@jaydenlee6573]

Sorry to hear that. Stay strong

[@randall2158]

[@ShikokuFoodForest]

Hello, you are still young! I’m turning 60 this year. I’ve been living in the countryside of Japan for going on 12 years now. My goal was to integrate into Japanese society; however, I discovered it to be impossible. I don’t have a single friend in Japan. Haven’t in almost 12 years. Spend all my time outside of work, by myself. Can’t wait to return to Canada in the future.

[@ShikokuFoodForest]

My point was, of course we miss our family and old friends who are no longer living. That is natural. Almost all my family has passed away and I have no friends. Only a sister and cousin living in another country that I can’t easily visit since it’s a 10-hour flight and I have 4 pets. Let’s just have an open mind, that we can always make new friends!

[@leavemealone7108]

Rip to them 🙏🏻 💖

[@satinek]

The worst question at work is: „What did you do on the weekend?“ You realize at this moment that you once again spent your weekend alone. You end up making up a story, because who wants to share that? Whereas the other guys tell you stories, like they met up with this person, went to this birthday, whatever normal guys with friends do... Does anybody else relate to this?

[@catherinejohnson4002]

I can completely relate. I've grown confident with my introversion, though, and now fearlessly share what I 'didn't' do. I've come to learn that those of us without a social circles are as normal as those with a large friend count. Try to worry less about what the cultural norms try to dictate to you. You're doing ok.

[@LaudauteDominum-er2mr]

Yes. Very much so.

[@jaijai5250]

@@catherinejohnson4002 exactly. If you enjoy your own company and use the time to heal and rejuvenate your soul. How wonderful ❤️🙏🏾

[@andreag4477]

I just say I did nothing lol

[@Sophia-U]

@@catherinejohnson4002 I could agree more Catherine.

[@GalaxyCat42]

I'm 32 as well and this resonated with me hard. About a month ago I saw wedding photos on facebook of 2 former close friends that got married and I wasn't even invited. It fucked me up, but then I realized I hadn't even hung out or spoke to them since 2017. It made me realize that I don't reach out to people, which is an essential part of building friendships. I feel incapable of doing this and I always felt impostor syndrome like you've described so that makes it even harder. Idk what else to say, other than I feel the same and you're not alone.

[@yetunderachael7170]

I’ll be 25 in July, with no friends and no boyfriend I feel anxiety and depression most days this days, but sometimes I’m fine. This is real and relatable so glad you spoke about it.

[@JilldeHal]

This is why we have social media, it's designed to give us the illusion of being part of a valid social system. He has taken his first steps into the 'unknown' 👍🏼

[@you2449]

The government is our friend. They're looking out for us. The media says so.

[@Disney65Fan]

I'm 30 and I have no boyfriend either. Sometimes I feel like a total weirdo but I've learned to accept it.

[@MultiVishnu55]

I will be your boyfriend, pretty little thang!

[@yetunderachael7170]

@@MultiVishnu55 no thanks

[@ntovar2088]

Same here.. 31 years with no friends, no bf, dealing with body dysmorphia, and trying to heal from past traumas. At times, it gets hard, but I know I'm strong, and I take it as a sign to keep pushing forward

[@baldconvo5269]

Stay strong!

[@shamelessvideoeditor3839]

That must difficult ro deal with 'body dysmorphia' and yet you talk about stength. After losing my leg I too struggle with how I look at times, but I believe that to move forward you never look back, always smile, when it rains you say "is that all you got". So strength we have, which is great what is had is not having a good friend you can unload on, so just tell them how your days been. I wish you well

[@brittterry3982]

You are beautiful! Healing is a process but the rain waters beautiful gardens.

[@hanskazan7403]

same 30 years no girlfriend no friends and never buff enough going to the gym, i want to meet people and trust them but after some time most people arent loyal

[@lifeisbeautiful903]

I have felt this way sometimes in my life. I have gone to an extent of sabotaging relationships because of anxiety. I think you lack self worth, that feel of not being enough and you wonder why someone would hang out with you. I would suggest doing self affirmations every morning. They focus on self love and uplifting yourself. All the best.

[@L-jm9mq]

I soon realised growing up that I only had “friends” because we were in a common situation. Like school or work. We had to spend half the day together most of the week so naturally you form a relationship but once I left school or those jobs I never heard from those people again and I realised I didn’t even want to talk or see them again because we’d lost that one thing that we had in common. I always seen friend groups posting stuff on social media hanging out and going on vacations together and my brother is always at a friends house or a friend is always coming to pick him up and for years I felt like a failure of a human being for not having any friends, any real connections. There’s not a single person that I could call and be like “wanna come over and hang out?”. And I’m not a socially anxious person! I’m happy to be around people and have conversations but it’s just never worked out for me. For a while I tried so hard to force friendships and realised that unless I was the one making the arrangements or making the actual effort to make myself be included and inviting myself to things then it wouldn’t happen. And I’d rather have no friendships than fake friendships. I can’t tell you how many times someone has said to me “oh you should’ve come!” And I’m like…. Yeah I would have if I was invited??? I’ve just come to terms with the fact I’ll never have friends. I have interests that aren’t common with other girls or even boys my age and if I don’t have things in common with other people then what’s the point? I’ve got to a stage where I don’t even care anymore I’ve realised over the years the friends I thought I had weren’t actually real friendships because once we went our separate ways with life we never heard from each other again. It sounds so cringe but my mum and dad are my best friends. I do my favourite activities with them. I go hiking and shopping and lunch dates with my mum and I go racing and watch F1 and stuff with my dad. Those are things I enjoy and I share these interests with my parents and I think that’s okay. I have a boyfriend too now of 6 years and between him and my parents, those relationships are enough for me. I spent years longing after having friends but realised I don’t need them for anything and don’t actually want them. Because I’ve been let down too many times with the feeling of people not actually wanting me and not inviting me or including me, why bother anymore. I’m comfortable with my own company. I have no shame in doing things by myself. I’ll go to the cinema on my own, or shopping on my own, or explore a new place on my own, I don’t need a “friend” to do that with. Whilst it would be nice to have a meaningful friendship I’ve just come to terms that I was in love with the idea of friendship more than friendship itself.

[@arianeswelt]

I feel you! I'm an only child and my parents and grandparents are definitely my best friends too

[@username-pd6vd]

It feels like I have written this text myself!!! Its just the same with me, i have friends at school but we dont really hang out outside of school and I know I will lose these friendships after school and so I'm already scared of it. Its hard to make friends with anyone because I dont share the same interests for example i like to watch sports or paint but that isnt really something that I could really talk about with anyone. So I feel like I am able to have fun just by myself and dont need anyone to entertain me or anything but I don't know how being alone will affect my mental healt overtime.

[@123spoon7]

Same here! I somehow find it difficult to maintain a friendship once we do not have anything in common. I think it takes two to put in effort to maintain that relationship but sometimes you gotta let go when it doesn't work.

[@abhijeetsekhon5032]

You spoke my soul T_T

[@hdomingues7380]

Hi Lauren. I relate to your story, even though I do have a couple of friends. But overall it’s so hard to make new friends. I would like to ask you: do you plan on having kids? I’m just curious to know.

[@hojo70]

I'm 53 and here to tell you, it gets worse actually the older you get. People are all in different stages of life so its hard to find couples to hang out with. Plus the older you get the more you become reclusive. I never had a problem with having friends from a kid up to mid 30's, but friendships are seldom lifelong and the people I used to hang with have all moved on either by circumstance or we just diverged. I have a best friend but he lives 400 miles away, wish I could see him more often. I don't have anything in common with all the men in my neighborhood who watch sports obsessively in their garage, smoke, and drink themselves blind.

[@albertmarnell9976]

People start to drift away in their late twenties. People come and go and we are truly alone in this life. I'm 68. I don't want to be a 3rd wheel with a couple. People, die, move and we out grow many people. If people have a "Bubble", they really don't want others in it. What you wrote is so true.

[@nobodyhere9258]

I agree the older the lonlier I am.

[@albertmarnell9976]

The external void has to be filled with an internal comfort of knowing that your own company and activities are enough. Of course even I on occasion have to go out and do chores. Usually even a short interaction with a cashier and seeing other people is enough for me. I enjoy coming home and being with myself.@@nobodyhere9258

[@شربلمانزا]

I'm with you on 💯 percent. I can relate.

[@Sy2023hk]

True, the older one becomes the harder it is. Suggest to keep in touch with those in similar situations and stay with God, since I feel it gives essential comfort when the time comes.

[@lesleybaughman697]

I’m 41 and still struggle with this. I have 1 friend from high school that I still keep in touch with, but even she and I don’t see each other often. I’ve always felt like I was looking for like-minded people and have never in my life found it. I feel like I care too much or maybe it’s just that others don’t care enough. Hard to explain. I’ve also pushed a lot of people away in my life. Sometimes it has been easier to be alone than to fake it with certain people. All I know is I totally get it. Having friendships as an adult is a lot harder than as a child.

[@makeitcount2985]

I associate with this as well. I always felt like I was very different to everyone else...

[@rkem1000]

I know exactly what you mean! I’m in the same boat! I’ve always felt like I was looking for more than just hi and bye!

[@BelleMamaDesu]

Same feeling

[@roboutaboutintas5444]

You are not alone with these feelings!

[@kazyboo5774]

I can relate too. I seem to attract "fair-weather friends", the kind that just want to hang out as long as I provide some sort of use to them ( like if our kids do activities or have play dates together ) but they're superficial and eventually fade away for whatever reason. I'm 45yrs now and I must say, I take no shit now. If I feel I'm being used or that I'm always the one making the effort to contact them and arrange meet ups, I'll back off. Genuine friends reciprocate and it's not all one-sided. I have too much self-respect to chase after people. I consider myself a kind and loyal person but I feel like I actually repel people sometimes and that they see someone completely different to how I see myself. It's a challenge!

[@jaimeernestoaltamira]

I'm 32, I know what you feel man. It's hard being a man with emotions, morals and standards. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in these feelings...

[@lovejetfuel4071]

Im in my mid 30s, I have never had friends, mostly because I dont want friends, always kept my distance. I have my family and a gf. Thats enough for me. Friends are just people, and people = problems. Less people, less problems.

[@DJeMo]

Avoid the noise, you ain't missing a thing.... People = Drama The WE in society was taken when the mobile device said hello, then it was all about ME, and us WE folk see this in folks and lone wolf is the only way, and 1 or 2 is all you need that find a level.... This world is a mind soup and the humanity in people is lost for ego, look after yourself on the inside, life is only as complicated as you think it, when it comes the quiet times..... That's when a hobby is great..... Stay sane, stay classy.... Love you

[@repentandbelieveinJesusChrist3]

Repent to Jesus Christ “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” ‭‭James‬ ‭5:16‬ ‭NIV‬‬

[@inasmal3996]

You are SO right. I you want a lot of friends you need to hang out in nasty places and doing nasty things....

[@ltaurus2105]

@@lovejetfuel4071 absolutely correct...

[@AmyR0202]

It’s hard seeing you emotional Josh, you’re an inspiration. I’m also 32, a mum with no friends. I have my husband. He’s my best friend but sometimes I do miss having girl friends to catch up with. You’re a brave man doing this, well done x

[@paleobc65]

I’m really glad people are finally talking about this. Especially men, the pain of losing friends and it’s affects on our self esteem is something we rarely talk about

[@ocwill]

This is especially true for men. Culturally speaking, it’s still sort of taboo to have feelings like this about friends.

[@Nepthu]

I'm glad you mentioned this. Men aren't "supposed" to care about not having friends, but we do.

[@christopher31ck]

@@Nepthu this is why sooo many men are struggling thru life alone. It’s sad that men have been made to feel like it’s not cool to talk about their feelings . Men need friends !

[@maccarnold]

I am almost 46 and believe me, I don’t have friends too and I am not even married. I guess I got used to it but it is hard sometimes. You seem to be a nice person so many people would love to have you as a friend. God bless you man.

[@GoonCity777]

If you’re in a small town, move.

[@firdausismail5646]

But David you’re so handsome 😅

[@carlospretel204]

We are in the same page. No friends. 3w years old

[@emzywillrich7243]

David, I met some of my best friends reading at Starbucks. Join groups that interest you and find someone with something in common with you. You need a great smile to go along with your good looks. I am lucky to have inherited my mother's beautiful smile. I have fantastic friends of many nationalities. My best friend is Indian. We met at Starbucks almost 20 years ago. Good luck dude!

[@crystallight4657]

@@emzywillrich7243 Starbucks Is A Great Idea Also Volunteering Somewhere Like Red Cross Or Animal Shelter Wherever People With A Good Heart Work... I Put My Career First & Ended Up The Same Way... Isolated With No Real Friends... My Co - Worker Says His Phone Never Rings ... He Had The Same Situation So He Volunteered For A Photography Studio In New York Mahn & He Started Making New Friends & He Is In His Mid 50's ....

[@Thesketchmonkey]

Glad this showed up in my recommendations, thanks for posting this. I moved to the US in 2012 from Sweden knowing nobody. Being an introverted INTJ my entire life I've struggled to make deep connections with people because I just can't deal with small talk or being "idle". I don't like to "hang out". Waste of time. I don't even think I'm capable of it anymore. I'm 35 now and what I'm starting to realized is I've just been hanging out with the wrong people. I need people around me who are goal oriented, driven, focused, wanting to grow both mentally and physically. Otherwise I'm happier on my own, building and creating. I always want to go deep fast as in let me know who you really are, tell me your story and your dreams. Let's skip the shallow stuff, there's too much of that everywhere you look anyway. However I think that's probably the wrong approach to meeting new people in most cases. But that's ok. Sometimes you just gotta play the social game I guess. But man, small talk is exhausting.

[@thesig301]

This is accurate, partying is overrated, I’m trying fo focus on goals and have the type of friend group that also has goals like you mention. Settle for a group of people that genuinely want good and to do good.

[@angelaatwood46]

TheSketchMonkey I personally love Sweden and wish I could go there. I understand where you're coming from. I am also a deep thinker and don't enjoy small talk unless it's natural. I'm not superficial and would rather have a few close friends than aquantainces.

[@alaiaomanu6318]

He died live on the stage kzbin.info/www/bejne/a2KqlHyOZd5lgrM

[@toqa6735]

As a fellow INTJ , same .

[@louera]

Yes. I'm growing apart with some friends of mine exactly because they're shallow, and don't know how to form opinions of their own. They seem to regurgitate whatever popular opinion there is and I'm so sick of these people who just seem like drones. Their presence doesn't provide meaningful impact to me anymore, and I wish I knew more people who are more self-aware.

[@aliciacatherineegan]

Your very brave for putting this out there. You have 33k friends following you now on this channel. Thanks for making this video, Internet friend.

[@shahid8545]

I'm 44 and I lost all my friends by 33yrs old. Some of them grew up and moved on, some got married and vanished, some I cut off because they were foul and treacherous and some I just outgrew. I've spent easily over 10yrs alone... I wasn't even married until 3yrs ago so I spent a good portion of my late 20s into my 30s pretty alone and isolated, at first it was hard but then I grew into it and sometimes not having friends is a blessing man. Nothing worse then having bad people around you or people that will influence you to do bad and it will likely be the case that they WONT contribute positively to your life however I understand your plight. Friendships are best when people are working towards a common goal together. Join a BJJ gym or Jujitsu class or volunteer to do something for good and you will meet good people and go from there but as we age and get older, life becomes complicated and finding good people to get around becomes more and more challenging.

[@taoist32]

At least you’re married. At 48, I have three friends and that’s it, and I see them maybe three times a year. I’m also autistic so it’s very difficult for me to connect and talk with people. After a few minutes of some conversation it dies. I ask questions, I listen, and try to engage. Never quite makes for any length. Only with my friends I tend connect a bit although they connect better with each other. Never had a friendship or relationship where I felt completely connected on an intellectual and emotional level.

[@shahid8545]

@@taoist32 Keep trying to connect with people and be a good human being. You actually have more friends then me. Hope you take great care of yourself and never give up on life

[@patricklouven2023]

I can feel that.

[@courtneyjackson7181]

Great advice

[@thekingempire1]

Lol. Wonder why your "friends" story is exactly like mine!

[@markatukula9459]

I am also 30… in Seattle , no friends no wife …. Just appreciate the fact that you at least have a wife

[@ObibiniAfrikan]

big man..you still young..

[@ObibiniAfrikan]

big man..you still young..

[@pinky-ud1rt]

Mark your soo young hun you'v got plenty of time to meet people x

[@StackXBT]

Ay fellow Seattelite! I'm on the Eastside

[@doomerdoomson912]

Totally man but yeah I’m in the same boat kinda, hope things start looking better for ya soon brother

[@jjspendalot4597]

Dude I’m in the same boat. I’m 30 and have no friends at all. I slowly drifted out of my social group of friends around the time my kid was born. And now I have no idea how to make friends at 30. Your not alone man.

[@derek_3054]

Do you have any hobbies?

[@Rationalist123]

Same.

[@lightless]

I made friends by finding topics, hobbies and other aspects of life i enjoy. if you want friends you have to put yourself out there no matter how hard it is. trust me. Edit: went to uni and started talking to people today and they saw me later on and asked whats up.

[@BiggySmalzz]

If you drifted apart they are only one message away, who says you need to make new friends? Text them and meetup.

[@visionarystyle_]

Exact same boat 30 and no friends. All social friends drifted away over the years

[@babbaruff1045]

I am amazed to find this video. I am 48 and have one friend 😢 I have social anxiety and depression which doesn't help. It really is tough, especially seeing people hanging out together and having normal social lives. I feel very much on the outside of life. I am a healthcare worker which helps me a lot, helping people gives me a reason and purpose. Bless you, I relate very much 😊

[@Aliciae411]

as a 28 year old who has not had friends since aged 15 I'm quite surprised from the comments how many others are in the same situation.

[@Getcho33]

Feels. I'm a 25 female with no friends

[@MrMaaf]

@@Getcho33 30 same

[@edinramiro202]

22 same

[@playstationtwo877]

@@MrMaaf 20 same

[@sillau9]

28 too..same..hadn't had a 'Real' friend since my middle school days actually..(like i've had a couple coworker friends here and there,but I always usually flake on them,whenever they hit me up..so it's also my fault,on not making the effort to keep and make friends..my social anxiety sucks,lol..)

[@earlthomas5021]

I am 36 years old and no friends at all. I got bullied and picked on quite a bit when I was young for being sensitive and having my own way about me. I remember as a teen I would hear and see kids around me always talking about their friends and all the fun places they go and I COULD NEVER relate. I felt cursed and left out. I would also see at that time boys my own age hanging out in these groups of friends skateboarding and never felt welcome in those groups either. The only boys that I could know in school were the ones that were like me the boys that were on their own too and that was who I ate lunch with. As a adult man now at 36 I still have no friends. People still act strange with me and it's going on at the workplace where I don't feel cool enough. Some people are alright with me but lots of the other types forget it. You are not alone there are millions like you.

[@rushiraul4084]

It's my story too.

[@human1505]

It's my story too.

[@olgaignashova6736]

Same here ❤️

[@ABen-wk4uj]

Focus on your purpose. Workout. Be Selfish in order to improve yourself. Read books. Start new hobbies. Feel the motivation to buy an incredible sports car

[@jadebrice3869]

❤️ I get this

[@paulawarner6521]

Your story is like looking in the mirror. I'm 43 and still feel like an outsider. My husband is my only friend.. my best friend. You're such a beautiful person... anyone would be lucky to be your friend! Anxiety is awful

[@rfrancoi]

I can relate to you 1000%. Don't feel bad; sometimes its for the best. I lost hope on friends because of being disappointed in them too many times. Take heart.

[@FreedoPan]

People nowadays are so self-absorbed that real friendships are hard to develop. Everyone cares for him/herself.

[@TheSCPStudio]

Holy shit this is so true. I’ve lost so many friends in the last 2 years because they couldn’t give me the time of day to respond to my messages every so often. I didn’t want a big conversation, I didn’t wanna hang out all the time, I just wanted them to reply to me when they got the chance so I could keep up with them. Well it hurts like hell when friends of 10+ years can’t give you the time of day any more. The worst part is, I was there for a friend when he began suffering depression. I helped him through that shit. Then when I was going through some shit a few years later, it was too hard for him to even check up on me or play a video game together every now and then. Fuck people. Not many people think of anyone but themselves, as you said. Even if someone goes out of their way to be there for them or try to be their friend. It actually makes my blood boil thinking of just how selfish people are these days.

[@imnoemit]

See we are all "self absorbed" even the called, laveled spiritual people, thing is we are all always with ourselves, how you see world, is a thing of yourself, when you do something for others even without asking anything back, that is also about yourself. Our lives are about ourselves. This world is created by each of us, by our internal world. You can connect with others but that depends on your relationship with yourself for the connection with others being deep. Resume: yes is all about oneself😅

[@FreedoPan]

@@imnoemit true, but we don't live alone in a society, we have friends and family who would think would care or be there for you when you are in a difficult situation. I had a friend telling me my fear for my health, as I had a chronic undiagnosed issue, was making me toxic for her energy. That was my best friend. You can imagine when the people you thought were the closest to you don't really get what you are going through, especially when you are a young person. I don't want to pretend to be someone that I am not, so I had to cut many friends.

[@imnoemit]

@@FreedoPan yes, true but sometimes is better to be alone or ge end alone for different reasons so having a good relationship with oneself is vital and also to live well and have a good relationship with others

[@luciemacpherson]

I’m thinking the younger people have been on social media instead of being with actual people, being interested in them and how they think, what their lives are like and what their hopes for the future are. Start by being interested in others and striking up a conversation. It’s as simple as that. The younger generations text instead of being WITH others more. Texting is an abysmal last resort... just meant for small stuff, not developing relationships. Face to face. That’s your answer.

[@VoidedMirror]

You're definitely not alone. I'm also in my thirties with no friends and I've kind of accepted that fact. I find I put too much effort in trying to maintain a friendship, but never get reciprocated the same way so I just gave up. I enjoy doing things on my own now. Social media has also done much to perpetuate the idea that if you're not surrounded by friends or in a relationship, there's something wrong with you which is not the case for many people.

[@irishcountrygirl78]

Also that imposter thing is real, l am friends with my friends friends and even though l still get sucked into nights out with them and peer pressured l find l don't belong, l want out but l can't find the exit. I'm the opposite of all of them, believe me if your friendless and free sometimes you are better off. It can be toxic.

[@stieg_smith]

@@irishcountrygirl78 He always gives you a way out

[@lucskickweller3032]

exactly the same thing happens to me. I thought i was wrong but i cant let depression hit me because i have no friends. I started to be loyal to me and my wife, because, honestly, people are very selfish. So better alone than with wrong people.

[@dartymcphee6738]

Who went to your wedding if you had no friends on your end…asking for a mate..not really!

[@maryanne7161]

​@@lucskickweller3032 I swear i want my husband to become like u! I c him bending over backwards for literally every human except me.

[@CAMELOT331]

I made a video similar to this and got so much hate. It's mind boggling to me. It's nice to know other people deal with the same thing. So I'm not totally alone. Stay strong my man

[@JoshHitti]

It’s such a bummer to see other people projecting negativity when someone is just being open and honest. I loved the raw honesty of your video, brotha. You have a friend in me

[@janineleahy7329]

@@JoshHitti hi listen the people that act that way believe have no heart and they are the damage ones that's why we feel the way we do as I always said hurt people think they can keep hurting wrong karma is a powerful thing and believe and they will get theirs we are like them you are you you are believe in you there are better caring people out there. Believe

[@janineleahy7329]

@@JoshHitti hi people will always be that way until they sit with there self and truly see they are damaged and stop dumping their shit on other people we have to sit and heal from their shit because we are strong when anybody can't sit and fix their own shit and stop dumping when will they ever learn karma has to step in you and I and many otha

[@gracehall9199]

Some people can be jealous A'holes.

[@holger_p]

But maybe, you feel hate where no hate is, and that's the reason why you have no friends. Cause what friends do is, correcting you, telling you what you do wrong, telling you how to do better, it's ment helpful. If you consider this hate, of course you cannot have any friends. If you want support and applause to whatever you do, get on a stage; but be alone again when you come home. A real friend does critizise you, if they search superficial harmony, it's only for their own comfort.

[@mikevogler5455]

Don't feel bad man, I'm going to be 44yo in May, and I don't have 1 "friend", not one. I've just recently been thinking about how there are no such things as "friends", but only acquaintances. Back in September 2020, I had to have sudden/emergency/life or death brain surgery, and during my 3 months of recovery, I only had/saw my mom and a few people on her side of the family, but never saw, nor even heard from, not one, "friend", nor even my dad or anyone on his side of the family. That's when I finally realized that there are no such things as "friends", and even most "family" will not even be there for you when you need them, at all. Makes me so sick when I think back to how much I had been there for that particular side of the "family", and even people that I had previously considered "friends", and everyone ditched me when I actually needed them. I wrote off every one of those particular people, even the "family" members too, and don't even bother talking to anyone anymore, besides having to at my job because people are just a waste of time unfortunately. Sad, but also true.

[@petrospetromixos6962]

I think to make strong connections you have to live strong yourself, living life superficially will only create superficial relationships

[@mikevogler5455]

@@petrospetromixos6962 Very true. Most people are superficial, especially females, but it has always been that way, and will always be that way, too.

[@petrospetromixos6962]

@@mikevogler5455 i guess we must put the work in everything

[@mikevogler5455]

@@petrospetromixos6962 Not me, my friend. I don't, and won't, even try to make "friends", connections, or crap like that anymore because people are a huge waste of time. The only time most people want to be someone else's "friend", is usually, and most of the time, only, because they want something from that person. I finally got tired of being used, wasting my time on people that did not deserve it, and just flat out stopped trying to make "friends". It may be lonely, but at least I don't get used, and then, ditched, when I no longer have anything that someone else wants. Same goes for females, too, because they, too, will use you for every single thing that you have, and that they want, and then kick you to the curb when you no longer have anything that they want.

[@johnsundqvisttt]

I feel you are blaming others instead of taking responsibility for your own emotions, especially women. I don't know why you don't have any friends. But I feel you like the idea of being a victim. @@mikevogler5455

[@MsAntares1]

Very brave of you to post this video.

[@JoshHitti]

Thank you 🙏🏼 I’ve felt this way for quite some time, so it was nice to say it out loud.

[@DX-d]

Why brave? is it that abnormal and bad to have no friends?

[@w9s992]

@@DX-d well ask the society we live in.

[@AxleBoost]

@@JoshHitti Seeing you so emotional got to me. I understand. I know it may seem like no one does sometimes, but I really do.

[@htokid7299]

@@w9s992 DONT let society dictate who you are....

[@mmss8891]

33, single.. I actually made a few friends years ago, until they barely talk to me anymore. I'm also too tired to try making new friends as they just come and go. So I've come to accept that people do change and maybe they are too busy with their lives. Just focus on learning, improving ourselves. You are not alone :)

[@deepblue188]

Great!👏👏👏❤❤❤

[@哈哈哈哈-n7y]

36, single, no friends, barely had any in my entire life even back in the school days. Had like a very few before for a short time, in the end never talked again.

[@billsimms2511]

I am introverted and put energy into the last few friendships I had and they went Nowhere. I’m 36 and at this point I do not have the energy to start up another friendship. The initial stages of a friendship are brutal for introverts

[@murraysaucedo897]

Yeah problem for me is that novelty wears off rather quickly and I’m stuck working in the same field because I don’t feel like starting all over again and every hobby I pick off I lose interest 6 months later. I’ll give you an example about 3 years ago I went hang gliding and loved it and felt like it was going to be the glue that holds me together throughout my adulthood then fast forward 4th I went hang gliding I felt so bored and out of it and quit. I’ve picked up fishing and again first few times loved it by now really don’t care that much and suspect will be dropping it all together soon.

[@I_Am_The_Social_Reject]

I quit trying to make friends cause they lose interest and I get sick of trying or being the only one wanting a friendship. Everyone is too busy. So why do I find so much time to have available to hangout? So yeah I don't bother. They might seem to like talking to me one day. Then they talk to others and ignore me.

[@deadhouse3889]

I deleted social media because everyone went fucking crazy the last few years. I'm just going to keep my head down and get my shit together and worry about friends and dating when I'm in a better place in life.

[@catatestrophe7499]

Dude same. I deleted my social media channels other than KZbin and it changed my life. I got my old group of friends back because I wanted to hang out with them again. I don’t see what they post every minute of every day. I actually get the chance to miss them and I don’t care about their political views because I blocked myself from that information, not being on social media anymore. It’s so toxic! Keep doing what you’re doing man. I think you will get back to equilibrium.

[@deadhouse3889]

@@catatestrophe7499 Yup, it's toxic as fuck. I will never go back. I am far less depressed now also. I was comparing my life to everyone else and it was messing me up. I feel like I have my own life again and not part of the borg collective anymore.

[@alexf9447]

I deleted my social media like 3-4 years ago when I graduated from high school. Wanted nothing else to do with it. Why would I want to keep up with other people’s lives. I have my own to worry about. Plus, just as you said, if it made me feel as if I wasn’t doing enough because I was comparing myself to others. Toxic af. Now everyone is like “you don’t have Instagram? Whaaaat??” It’s very annoying. I’m in search of a partner who doesn’t use that bs.

[@ryanblack844]

I'm in recovery from addiction and had to stop talking to all my friends. I have to taper off Methadone, get a job, a car, and go back to community college. Feels like I'm just starting out in life but with bo help this time and I'm 38. Sometimes it's necessary to shut the world away and focus on building ourselves.

[@deadhouse3889]

@@ryanblack844 I went through that a few years ago, stopped hanging out with everyone to get clean. Social media was the last reminder of my old life. It's not easy, and a lot of people don't understand but I had to do it to stop.

[@WarAndHistory.]

This touched home... More consistent content please

[@mariamilo487]

I am 29 and have no friends. It is really strange. I think about it often, I blame my self for not having friends, I feel ashamed for not having friends, I wonder what is wrong with me... and then I meet somebody who is nice but I never call this person, I don't keep in touch, I respond to messages days later, I basically shut off from this person. Recently i came to a conclusion that the reason why I don't have friends is because I don't like my self. I cannot connect with other people because I pretend to be someone else when I am with other people, I pretend to be happy and jolly, or adventurous, outgoing etc and it's exhausting. If I liked myself, i would express myself as I am.

[@oOcitizenOo]

same story, man

[@arnauburguera257]

Hey, Maria, we've been making a Facebook messenger group with some people of this video comment section. If you feel like it we'll be glad to have you there :) Send a friend request to David Güell in Facebook (the one with Michelangelo's David on it) and I'll get you there!

[@arnauburguera257]

@@oOcitizenOo Same for you, oOGeekITOo, we've been making a Facebook messenger group with some people of this video comment section. If you feel like it we'll be glad to have you there :) Send a friend request to David Güell in Facebook (the one with Michelangelo's David on it) and I'll get you there!

[@queenofalldamned3365]

This is a relevant point of view! I agree, there’s about that type of mental weirdness going on. Brain🙃🙃 But stills it isn’t always easy to confront Ms solitude itself. At least at times, wouldn’t be a miss to just exchange something, laugh, eventually know that you have one number to dial in case of sudden nasty emergency. A volunteer to test some receipts on it during a nice dinner with friends , or and family. Take care!

[@92Pyromaniac]

Hey Maria, what you said sounds so much like my own experiences. I find it incredibly hard to stay connected with people long-distance, and when I interact with people it feels like I am putting on a kind of mask; often quite different masks for different groups of people and situations. I found out a few months ago that I most likely have aspergers/ ASD, and that it's a tooootally different thing to what I thought it was (hence why I never even considered that it could be me). I've found it incredibly healthy and healing reading about different aspects of it and realising that I'm not a bad person because the way my brain is wired makes me behave differently in some situations. And now that I have a search term I've been able to find a tonne of useful information that is helping me improve my life

[@jonbarg5762]

Josh, all I wanted to say is that it takes massive balls to upload a video where you put yourself in a rather vulnerable light, expressing your discomfort about your situation. I hope you are in a better place in life now. :) Greetings!

[@Loosie_fur]

After having lots of friends. Going to parties, invited to lunches/places. At 36, I have no more friends and I am ok with that. Never had any drama with them - I just simply wanted to break away. I enjoy my solitude now. I’m discovering who I am. I always felt like I was presenting slight different persona. Now I’m real to myself. Don’t stress about having no friends. They’ll show up. Quality > quantity

[@susir2758]

Agreed with you 1000%. Lots of people on here say it's a sad feeling, it's only sad when you look at others and feel like you need to do the same. You just haven't met the right people with substance and qualities. I'm only 29 but never went partying or clubbing bcoz I just look at people they are such hard work with superficial minds, obsessed with virtual reality, what is the point of hanging out with people like that and talk about tik tok? It will only drag you down. Also there is no need to put people into categories extroverted or introverted. You can like going to festivals and road trips but you don't want to have to deal with people. It's a choice.

[@amandasandberg1543]

🙏🏼❤️❤️

[@HOLLASOUNDS]

I 37 and did have friends but over time some became more of a problem then a benefit so I cut them off, some friends I hardly see now now. One guy I was friends with his wife split us up and told him to not let Me around the house anymore, and that was the end of that, He was actually becoming a very good friend but his girlfriend ended it.

[@missglow2011]

This is very courageous of you to share and so real . So many people struggle with loneliness and are afraid to speak out about it and work on themselves

[@flamingrobin5957]

i love that you didn't edit the crying. you pushed through it and didnt go to shame. this makes you an authentic and manly person. men should cry, sometimes its the only option to heal. i realize you dont want to mess up your video but you're beautiful bro!

[@williamfuchs2754]

Very nice; love the empathy and support!

[@LaTericeallover]

I’m 41 with no friends. No husband so you’re doing better than me. I had social phobia really bad was a teen and young adult before I realized it. I worked at jobs and went to classes and didn’t knew anybody around me because I was horrible to talk to anybody. Id have panic attacks over walking pass somebody in a hall way or calling to make a dr appt. When I learn about social phobia and anxiety it help me to wake up. It didn’t fix me overnight but it help to know I wasn’t crazy or the only one in the world to have my problem. I learned that the fear is really self centered, like how you said you didn’t know why people that were friends with you. That’s a real self centered way to look at it. We think people are thinking about us or judging us, like we’re so important when the truth is they are probably just as self conscious or self centered as we are. Nobody is thinking about us as much as we think they are. And at 41 I can said I don’t care what they think at all. I did put myself out there more in my 20s-30s but all of the friendships I’ve had were initiated by the other person and I get exhausted with other people and can’t bring myself to nurture friendships even though I like the person and we have a lot in common. It’s sad that I want friends but I also don’t want them calling me with their problems or asking to go out all the time which mean I would kinda be a shitty friend🥲So I think I need one person that gets me and don’t want a lot from me as I don’t want or need a lot from them. That’s what I’m look for now at least. No luck yet but I hope you can find what you need.

[@monique6451]

I am 41 as well and have cut ties with everyone over the past few years. Most of them because they were negative influences on my life and were not generally trustworthy,but the rest because like you say friendships and dealing with people is exhausting and emotionally draining. Can so relate to what you stated and like someone previously said, having no friends is better than having the wrong friends.

[@crissymiller4951]

@@monique6451 Yes i agree people can be very draining at times.

[@andrasvarga8614]

When they have problems, you always have to pick the phone up to help them (ofc if those are real problems). This is what friendship is about I think. That is why they will also pick the phone up for you and listen for hours when you are crying.

[@playstationtwo877]

@@andrasvarga8614 i'm 20 and don't have any friends

[@aaronharris2144]

Stumbled upon ur video and thought I was the only person who experienced this. I’m 40 with no friends to hang out with. Also introverted and push people away. Great to know I’m not the only one going thru this. Thank u for ur bravery in sharing.

[@BenjaminBanks615]

Are you a Capricorn?

[@aaronharris2144]

Cancer. Strong connection to Capricorns

[@GLEAM0721]

@@aaronharris2144 as a cancer we get hurt alot ... and as we age ... we get tired of the b.s ... I learned that I'd rather be alone than be with the wrong crowd. Personally, even my family members have traits i dislike... like gossiping...

[@shahid8545]

Definitely are not the only one... probably way more then you think

[@mssummerrose1]

hi fello cancer ! im 52 with no friends... just company along the way... greets

[@lebail6505]

I’m 18 and just graduated from high school. I don’t have any friends same as you, but for a different reason. I got really bullied when I was 12 and 13 years old, since then I have stopped talking with the few friends I had and I’ve found it really difficult to open myself to new people or to just feel the interest to interact with new people. It doesn’t bothers me nowadays, I actually like it cause I’ve learned that I love being alone and by myself. Also, before your video I’ve never thought about it being a problem in the future to me. I think that now that I’m not in school I’ll be more open to people, I’ll just need to remember that not everyone has judgmental thoughts. This is the first video of you that I watched, I’ll watch the other ones and I hope you have figured out how to deal with the situation that one year ago was making you sad. Hope things got better for you.

[@ShyMplsMale]

Hey Josh. Your authenticity is beautiful. Being so vulnerable shows just how strong you are. We need more people like you telling their story because then we will see just how many of us are in the same position.

[@SaraVV]

I LOVE your comment!! and I totally agree.

[@Urobam]

@Conrad Helix True so true! Josh is so authentic and brave to speak about it. Watch Dr. Gabor Mate speaking about Authenticity, he is one of different doctors that I follow and Dr. Mate is great.

[@thomasjohn5133]

Hey man, there is nothing wrong with you. I can tell you are genuinely trying to be friendly and that you are a kind soul. You do not to be so hard on yourself and put others on a pedestal. Just remember other people need you as much you need them and that we are all flawed and need social connection.

[@jillg.2379]

So true and such a thoughtful comment, as well!

[@citycat2850]

Great comment too share 🙏🏼

[@paulhatzig7084]

As an immigrant to the United States from Greece I can relate to this. Always felt like an imposter, and although I've been getting invited to things all the time I always felt like an outsider because I never cared for the topics that we discussed. I never cared for sports, fights, and shallow conversation. Back in Greece, there is no taboo for men to talk about their feelings/relationships/difficult and emotional subjects, and having real talk instead of shallow conversations. There is a stigma here in the USA for opening up and talking about things that matter to you the most. It is seen as weak or too emotional. This is probably one of my biggest problems with the culture here. From what I can see you are man that feels strong emotions and probably wants to share them in a deeper level and make real deep connections. Here people do that only when they are drunk, so the next day it does not even feel real. I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone, and this is NOT how it is in the rest of the world. Cheers, and stay strong. Its better to have 1 good, real and deep relationship than 100 shallow ones.

[@JoshHitti]

Hey, Paul. I never knew that about Greece, that’s fascinating and something we can learn from in the US. You’re absolutely right about the stigma factor - that’s one reason I was very apprehensive about even posting this online. Thank you for the kind words and for sharing your experience, add me on IG if you’d like and we can chat some time.

[@MimimiMcArthur]

This is why I loved my time in Europe when I visited from Texas. I was able to finally have real deep conversation with men and felt connected. I had amazing conversation in one week compared to years in the states. I can’t wait to go back to relocate there one day.

[@lahicks9773]

I now know I want to meet a Greek man, thank you! ❤

[@Leelanau03]

you must be what they call an 'intuitive' they always feel this way. shallow conversations are for sensors, it stimulates them. For me, as a intuitive, ENFJ, I need deeper meaningful insightful all over the place conversations! Look up the myers briggs, many don't care for it, but there is some truth to it to help you gain a better understanding of what your processes are. Good Day :)

[@elyseeblackstone4597]

This is SO fascinating to me, your comment. I just had a fight with someone who believes US is the greatest country on earth. I don't. It definitely has it's good points, but your comment validates my feelings. Thank you for sharing. I would love to pick your brain but I wont for your sake.😊

[@Richy.Boi.]

Can totally relate. Changed schools 9 times throughout elementary and high school. It really does mess with your ability to trust people. Thanks for sharing ❤️

[@karlarodriguez3193]

I’m 41 and extremely introverted … I have had people always think I’m a snob even a conceded bitch but I’m terrified of making friends that will eventually just walk away. I’ve done ok in life but totally understand where you are coming from. Thank you for this video I think it’s important for people especially man to show their vulnerability. ❤

[@heavyweightlifted171]

I agree with you. What's the point of trying to make friends when your track record shows that literally EVERY single person eventually leaves?

[@what2saynow]

Same!

[@dianaeldon7201]

Follow your interest - join a club or volunteer you will then find people of similar interests eventually. Even if you regularly walk in your area you will eventually see people who will pass the time of day. It is not about being vulnerable but being brave and finding yourself and going out into the world and meeting other people and friendship will follow. If needbe see if you can get CBT via a psychologist, but don't sit back and do nothing at all to help yourself to develop your life and to be happy - at only 41 you have a life time ahead, don't waste it.

[@shirleylane4792]

@JL ??

[@HOLLASOUNDS]

I get girlfriends of My male friends destroying My friendships often to the point of having next to none left. The only people I'll spend any time with is people from work about 4 people are work colleagues. At least this guys got a girlfriend, I haven't even got that lol.

[@holly3147]

Thank you, from the bottum of my heart, for posting this. I'm 34 years old in the same boat. Grew up in poverty, toxicity, and abuse. I'm diagnosed with complex PTSD. I entered adulthood with below average social skills and an inability to form healthy relationships with those outside of family. To this day I still struggle. I have aquaintences, but genuinely no friends... I have been in extensive therapy for over 2 years now. I'm taking steps in developing proper relationships with others, but every day comes with its own challenges. This video has given me relief that I am truly not alone in this. THANKYOU.

[@cristinaevans139]

Just can’t connect I find people very draining I have cptsd I relate to you and would love to be your friend much love from Australia ❤

[@Feeling-fussy]

I can completely relate!

[@SaltySouthTexan]

That cycle,is hard to break……but you need to be the one to break it. If you don’t, it passes down to the next generation.

[@pufffymac]

I hope u keep improving holly and I also wanted to point that I am glad I came across this video. I am currently 16 and in school and forget about adults having social skill problems etc. This video made me realise not to put false or high expectations for teachers, people(adults) in general.

[@williamquinn9381]

Im in the exact same situation as you Holly. It’s been a hard life for me since childhood.

[@agentjonburrows9595]

25 years old here. No friends, no girl friend, no family. Right after highschool my friends all stayed in their group but I never had the money bro go on the last minute ski trips. Then after awhile I wasn’t in the loop. Haven’t been apart of a group of friends or had a girlfriend or parents to go see on the holidays since I was 18. I work in a shop for a guy all by myself most days. I live in a house right behind the shop so I don’t drive anywhere unless it’s down the street to the store. I go to a lodge meeting and church every now and then. I don’t like going out to bars or places with loud music. I enjoy music just not blaring when I’m trying to talk to people. I deleted social media because I just can’t help but get angry at how fake people act on there. So I just deleted it all. I try to focus on my passions and goals but sometimes the fear of not having anyone who cares for me makes me go into scary head spaces. Yet when I do go out I feel like I’m “the weird one” or that they pity me. And I feel awkward. It’s not like highschool buddies anymore.

[@tom4412]

Message the woman from Japan, she’s about 5 comments newer than yours.

[@nathanw9770]

Have you tried reaching out to your old high school friends yet?

[@ThankyouJword]

sounds like ur a musicinan/artist who doesant know it yet i would invest in these areas of life if i was you it may take time to get good at but u will be gratefull u did its never too late to learn

[@helicopterhelicopter8651]

@@ThankyouJword what a stupid take lol, he's just an introvert, there's nothing he said that you could lead you to believe he is an artist

[@ThankyouJword]

@@helicopterhelicopter8651 where all the same bro individulism is a lie to keep ur ego alive

[@elliemerc01]

I am alone and don't have family nearby or friends. I've really given this much thought and realize that since the cell phone came out people just want to text and do not want to talk on the phone. This is a real conundrum, because not hearing a human voice, the tone in which the message is coming across is often misunderstood and how can you feel close to anyone when you're texting! I really appreciate what the cell phone can do for me, and how many things I can accomplish on it however, it does not replace a person, it does not allow me to see the other person's body language, nor can I look them in the eye. Today I felt very sad and almost in tears, because I couldn't reach out to anyone, so I decided to come to KZbin. Thank you so much for making this video, you're brave and you care so continue to do what your gut tells you to, and God bless.

[@Dezzz241]

I m a 35 year old male. I have to say, your Video really broke my heart and made me so sad. You seem to be so nice. I wish i d had a friend like you. I hope you will be able to find a connection to people who will be your friend. Its important to try to not doubt yourself and allow yourself to really be liked by other people. Greets from Germany ☺️

[@batatakhizou4509]

hey marc there is a killer of a software made by some german company under the name of zorro trader a game changer bro :D germany is a great country because they made this software man

[@EuanWhitehead]

Here's to new freinds 🍻

[@georginajovanovic]

I would be too

[@Amber24426]

I definitely have trouble connecting with people and maintaining close relationships. It sucks. I’m in my 20s and I feel it is difficult to find people who are on the same wavelength as me, so to speak. But even beyond that I know I have trouble being a consistent friend to others...I think it’s partially because in my childhood I always felt like I tried so hard to be a good friend yet I didn’t really get much back from my “friends” in return... Anyways, thanks for being honest and authentic and posting this.

[@JoshHitti]

Amber, thank you for the kind words and being vulnerable as well. I have the same issue of dealing with childhood concerns, it's frustrating that they still linger.

[@Quit3Cut3]

When I was a kid I never had friends. As an adult I have them and I’m married, but I’m still a loner at heart. Can’t beat quality alone time.

[@thelastofgus]

I feel you brother. I've self-sabotaged and lost friends because I did not keep up with them. I've learned to accept myself and given the opportunity, reach out to them again. If they accept me back or not, to keep moving forward. Like a plant, nourish with good water to relationship to yourself and friends, and it will grow. It takes time.

[@rm3869]

Exactly bro I wish I could turn back time because no one told me I need to these kind of things

[@jordannietos]

​@@rm3869We always wait to be invited maybe because we don't know if these people actually enjoy our company. We waste time because we never learned how to believe

[@alanpayne7656]

This is one of the most brave and real video I’ve ever watched on KZbin. You have just changed your life brother. Wow x

[@lizlind7440]

Im 45 and have no friends….But at least its nice to know that I’m not alone.

[@sebswede9005]

But you are alone. You have no friends.

[@lizlind7440]

@@sebswede9005 Thank you for taking some time of ur day to reply …Enjoy ur day! 😊

[@yinhoukhor7109]

@@lizlind7440, that's not necessarily a bad thing at all! Not having friends is just about always better than having bad friends!!

[@Patates2024]

I hope you have family, relatives, ..they can be friends too🌿

[@jimams_jamz5518]

@@sebswede9005 wtf 😭

[@anupamc3510]

having less friends is a sign of genius

[@jesusisking3814]

If you die tonight, do you know where you're going? Did you know that Jesus Christ is the only way to Heaven and He loves you? Through Him, God offers you a FREE gift - forgiveness. All you need to do is repent, turn away from your sins and evil ways, from now on put your faith completely in Jesus Christ and be obedient to Him. Explanation: God doesn’t want anybody in hell because He loves us, but you must understand why we deserve hell and why those who refuse to live under His authority will go there. (Matthew 12:30) ''Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.'' He gave us the law (Ten Commandments) not to make us righteouss, but rather to show us our sin (Romans 3:20). God gave us free will and since Adam sinned in the garden, sin is the nature of our flesh and we’ve all sinned. (Romans 3:23) and the law demands death to those who sin (Romans 6:23). For someone to be justified before God they have to be sinless, that's why everyone need Jesus Christ. None of us are good in God’s eyes, because for God good means moral perfection. We all have broken God’s commandments, we all have sinned in our lives so none of us are good. ‘’For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.’’ (James 2:10). ‘’For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.’’ (John 3:16) That’s why only Jesus can save us, because He lived a perfect and sinless life and is the only worthy sacrifice and died for our sins. We aren’t saved based on our good deeds/works, but only by the grace of God through faith. ''For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9) He said ‘’it is finished’’ (John 19:30), which means He paid the fine for our sins (past, present, future) to be forgiven if we repent and trust in Him. ‘’Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.’’ (Acts 3:19) Biblically, a person who repents does not continue willfully in sin. Repentance is a turning from sin, and it always results in changed behavior (Luke 3:8). While sorrow from sin is not equivalent to repentance, it is certainly an element of scriptural repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10). Do not play a hypocrite. (John 3:3) Jesus replied, "Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again." If you confess that Jesus is Lord (John 10:30) and believe that God raised Him from the dead, then you’ll be saved. (Romans 10:9) You are born again with the spirit of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him. (John 3:36) Bible is the Word of God. You may ask how so because it is written by men. Just like a letter is written by a pen, so is Bible written by God using men. Bible/God's Word was written over 1600 year period by 40 different authors and 66 books, all leading to the coming of God's Son - Jesus Christ. There is consistency of revelation throughout a long time of period, many prophecies being fulfilled. In the Book of Isaiah you see details about how Jesus Christ suffered even if it was written a long time before His coming. In the Book of Daniel 500 BC you can read about Alexander the great who lived 300 BC. We are living in the last days and Jesus Christ will return soon. 2 Timothy 3:1 ''But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty.'' 2 Timothy 3:2 ''For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,'' Luke 21:11 ''There will be great earthquakes, and in various places famines and pestilences. And there will be terrors and great signs from heaven.'' 1 Thessalonians 5:3 ''While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.'' Matthew 24:39 ''And they were unaware until the flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.'' Luke 21:31 ''So also, when you see these things taking place, you know that the kingdom of God is near.'' 2 Thessalonians 2:3-4 ''Let no one deceive you in any way. For that day will not come, unless the rebellion comes first, and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the son of destruction, who opposes and exalts himself against every so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, proclaiming himself to be God.'' Revelation 13:16-18 ''And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.'' Matthew 24:21 ''For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been from the beginning of the world until now, no, and never will be.'' 1 Thessalonians 4:16 ''For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.'' Matthew 24:19 ''But woe to those who are pregnant and to those who are nursing babies in those days!'' Matthew 24:42 ''Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming.'' Mark 1:15 ''The time has come," Jesus said. "The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!"' Get right with God and start your relationship with Jesus Christ right now before it’s too late, because there’s not much time left!. "But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.’’ (Mark 13:32) You may start with a simple prayer from the bottom of your heart, TRULY believing that God listens and cares. (Jeremiah 29:13) ''You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'' Get to know Christ through His word. At first I recommend reading Gospel of John and book of Romans. God bless you!

[@LuminearHD]

copium

[@ZomBMarketing]

The I must be absolutely, off the chart, fucking brilliant.

[@fraxizztv6433]

It's in indicator of high intelligence yes, but not the sole variable, ofcourse. (: But then again, intelligence can really be more of a curse than a blessing, if you fail to properly implement/use it, that is. Often, people with high iq, have (relatively) low eq, you just can't have it all. So yeah, we're social creatures, even the most introvert people are. Those few interactions can make all the difference and I wish Josh the best.

[@Juangalt]

Sure hope so

[@somedude2420]

46, no friends. Family ignores me. When I was 30 I was finally diagnosed with Manic Depression/Bi-Polar, an affliction I battled since childhood. Yes, rare. Usually begins late teens into early 20's. But Dr.'s think severe head trauma at 9 months of age opened the door to childhood manic depression. Which made kids run because I was super weird. Spent first 30 years trying to find a reason and appease everyone. Found out, they don't care. If you have nothing more than friendship to offer someone, 99% of the time they move on. So it goes..."Friends" are people usually using you to benefit their life: job, status, drugs, alcohol, etc. Give me nature, my dog and cats. The rest is just static.

[@angelachanellehuang5663]

Making friends is easier when your young

[@WorkoutRockstar]

I'm 27 and undiagnosed bipolar, lost all my friends during severe depression episode. I had a lot of friends when I was younger even with my introvert personality type we hangout and support each other a lot and now it's all gone. I'm not fit anymore into friendship but there's hope to find someone, a soulmate.

[@Tracy-qz8ps]

You sound similar to me, it's so damn hard 😢

[@ArtTipswithJohnS.-ty7nr]

hope your doing okay

[@DRay23322]

It's crazy how relatable this is... I just graduated college a month ago, and had no one to sit with at graduation. One of the most subtly humiliating experiences of my life. I had plenty of opportunities to hang out with people and make genuine connections in college, but I experienced that same "imposter syndrome" and engaged in self-sabotage behaviours. I have friends from back home, but going to college felt like an opportunity to "test myself" and see if I could make friends outside of those I grew up with. I hope that as I go on into my adult life I can learn to value myself and allow myself to believe that people can actually like me.

[@Fatima-no9lg]

ur cute

[@pereinarolsson3928]

Well david having arrived at 65 I understand that there is so much programming about what is good and bad - right or wrong. When I was at your age I did a lot to please my parents - now I please myself. I know it hurts but that is how we learn - it is only feelings it is not you...

[@IWantToStayAtYourHouse]

i made one friend in college. I used to have a lot more but I ghosted most of them since they were pretty toxic. I also was pretty depressed after pandemic hit so I'm thinking of reconnecting with some of them. Genuine friendships are the best investment you can make

[@aprilm6136]

It's harder to make close friends as you get older, so what I do it's just really enjoy my time and conversations with neighbors and strangers you just happen to bump in to where ever you go, and believe it or not alot of them really enjoy having you talk to them, some are very lonely and you made their day so I just talk to people and have fun , having a loving pet really helps me too

[@josephinawilliams61]

You are good looking

[@juliagraf]

Moving around a lot as an adult and losing touch is really, really difficult for maintaining existing friendships. As we get older it gets harder and harder to make friends as we have less opportunity and less time to meet likeminded people. What's really helped me is getting actively involved in a hobby that you enjoy, and try to join some type of group activity surrounding it. You look like you're really fit, maybe try that mountain biking you said or something like Crossfit which is amazing for meeting lots of people. But join an actual group activity, not just do it by yourself, because it will still be hard to meet people that way. There's also online places to join group activities surrounding your favorite activities, so you can actually meet up with those people in real life. Also making genuine friendships takes time and investment - you need to put in the work to get the benefits. Sometimes that means going out on a limb and taking the initiative to invite someone to hang out with you, come over to your house, etc. Good luck!

[@JoshHitti]

I completely agree that it makes it less difficult to establish friendships as we get older. But to your point, it’s on us to figure out a new way of making it work. I definitely think joining a mountain biking group has helped me to at least have some people to reach out to, now is the challenging part of actually investing the time with these new people. Appreciate your insight, Julia! Cheers

[@SergioCaprara]

You're totally right! Sometimes I have the same feeling of loneliness and I'm trying to do exactly what you just said.. looking for groups in my area to do activities with, hoping to make new friends.. and again, the reason I feel like this is the fact I left my hometown for work and it's really difficult to make friends easily when you move in a new place.

[@ETBrooD]

​@@JoshHitti Michael Jordan missed way more shots than he scored. As long as you put yourself out there, you'll figure it out eventually. And don't be afraid of getting scratched in the process of making friends. Women like a man with scars hehe

[@williamfuchs2754]

Well stated, Julia...on point.

[@timescale9326]

Try moving around a lot as a child. Never managing to keep the same friends. Going to a different school and starting over . It affects your adult life

[@Leon_K_24]

I’m 41, I have about 1 friend from college and a long-term girlfriend. That’s it. It’s enough to get me by, but I’ve struggled to make and keep friends my entire invisible life. One thing though, it makes walking the spiritual path a little easier, with fewer social distractions. But a lonely life is no good, and I pray that in the next life, things will be different. Thanks for sharing, brother.

[@markmushyguy]

You. Go. Boy. I LOVE this soooooo much. I worship God & I feel EXTREMELY alone. Other ppl that I worship w seem jaded. I feel worshipping God is amazing, but no matter how close I get to God it doesn't satisfy my desire for friendship. You put this into words dope you go boy

[@emh8861]

Sometimes I get really lonely. But most of the times I’m ok 👍. I refuse to have fake friends.

[@iliketotrade]

I've noticed that in life... 1 is enough... stay strong gents💪💪

[@maxschultz6318]

you only have one life on this earth

[@sofiyarini]

Agree.. i hope i have friends in the afterlife 😭

[@hakonmjelde]

I have the exact same scenario, it's almost like I could've made this video myself. I struggle with a peculiar form of social anxiety where I can be social and everything, even come across as bubbly and cheerful, but I feel like an outsider in the world. And I get these almost intrusive thoughts where I question their motives, "am I too odd?", "do they think I'm bothering them?", "am I too annoying?". And I just kept saying I was too busy with school or whatever, the years go by and suddenly here I am, utterly and completely friendless. Similarly to your story I've never felt truly grounded, always came in too late, and the few really great friends I've made in life have always drifted away from me, either because of moving somewhere else or because I stopped doing a hobby or whatever. I hope you find joy in whatever you do, though. You deserve happiness, and I'm still on my own journey. We'll figure this out, I'm sure of it. Sending you lots of love! ❤ 🎉

[@ChristianArnoldMusic]

I’ve struggled with friends throughout my life too. Almost 36 and it’s a tough thing. Good for you for posting this. You’re not alone.

[@dylanischilin]

I've been there brother. At one point I had no friends for the exact same reason as you. I moved around a lot growing up, didn't maintain relations, and had a constant feeling that no one really wanted to be my friend/hung out with me out of pity. Through therapy, I learned to meditate to slow down my negative thought patterns and I also began visualizing myself having friends. My therapist guided me through mediations where I would mentally feel, smell, taste, touch, experience having friends who truly love and want to spend time with me. After about a year of consistent therapy, everything changed. I started making friends, going out, and having fun. My life today is sooo different than how it was 7 years ago! Work on changing your limiting beliefs and never give up! Much love

[@katec9893]

This is so lovely, when I get a therapist I will ask to do something like this. Thanks for sharing.

[@samrichards8251]

Great therapist and fantastic advice

[@mindgoesbodyfollows]

Great comment

[@TheeRighteousOnee]

It's not just simple as "going out" for those with a history of social anxiety. Myself for example, I don't go out by myself beside to the grocery store. I can't just go out to the bar for example, alone and stand there awkwardly which would make my social anxiety even worse. No thanks!

[@grips2u]

I’m 43 and have no friends as well, for me it’s partly due to not wanting to “just Hang and drink”. I have a mind that craves discussion of ideas and topics that I have yet to find elsewhere in a solid friendship. I had it long ago in the past but I’ve moved away for work

[@FrancisMcCaffrey5]

I’m 43 basically think the same as your comment

[@LuzdoSol00]

Same. Thanks for sharing!

[@grips2u]

@JMW that’s who I’ve always been, I won’t change that for anyone. 😉

[@Froglet1968]

I've hung out with drinkers, I don't really drink...I like different types of conversation but love deeper, inspiring and authentic connection...I hate shallow...

[@grips2u]

@@Froglet1968 I hear ya, I love a good convo. It makes connections where you didn’t know it would lead.

[@minnybiker4505]

It's amazing to realize that no one has the life you think they do. Everyone is battling something. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope just being open about it has helped you overcome the struggle, even just a little bit.

[@Tubeytime]

I'm 29 and I also don't have friends. My theory on how it happens is that every person starts their life open and friendly, but as the world beats them down through many little experiences, they start to build defenses & coping mechanisms. Some people are more resilient and it takes a lot more to break their spirit, but others like you & me are more sensitive to judgement and criticism and reach that point of no return much faster. I have the same issues with imposter syndrome and self-sabotage. I've just internalized over the years that it's impossible for anyone to like me for who I am. Eventually they will realize how I'm horrible and leave. Because of those thoughts, I'm incredulous to any positive feedback and my confidence is in the toilet. It's a cyclic feedback loop which sends you deeper and deeper into isolation and you eventually give up all hope and stop trying. All of this because of a lack of support through childhood. I think parents have a role to play in this; if they give their children attention and make them feel supported and loved, it probably decreases the chances that a child will tell themselves THEY are the problem and prolong that period of openness. We just got unlucky to grow up around the wrong crowds, deprived of emotional support and left to fend for ourselves. To undo that damage and re-wire your brain would be such a huge undertaking, likely requiring years of focused therapy and nobody's got time (or money) for that. I've just learned to enjoy people's company while they're around, live in the moment and soak it in as best I can. I try not to be resentful and remember there is always someone who has it worse.

[@MsAdreaL]

Wow - You said a lot, and it all deeply resonated with me. Thank you for taking the time to write all of this out. It has helped me tremendously..

[@kubasniak]

Wow I can totally relate.

[@shakirapickens9374]

Truth

[@shakirapickens9374]

Thanks and u ain't alone

[@fs3180]

Buddy, we have had a similar life story except I have a large family and I do connect deeply with people. You seem like a super nice person. You didn’t go for shallow friendships as most people, you looked for quality. It’s not your fault, our society is toxic

[@a32tl]

I'm 52 and have no friends and never have had any. I've never been in any type of romantic relationship either. The loneliness is BRUTAL!!

[@joycecardinot9284]

:(

[@olivere9772]

nice, ur a independent strong man!

[@viviandarkbloom100]

You are FAR from alone in this respect. If that helps.

[@hueyseale4253]

Join the club man.

[@hannahlennertkristiansen4797]

I wish you and everyone who relates to this the best, for your mental health, life and in any form of social life. You are all worthy of being friends with. everyone is, it's just that as a loner, you usually don't realize and think about it like that.

[@SpiritowlTV]

100% relate to this. I've moved house 20 times and I'm 27 now. Multiple different schools. I had to adapt and quickly gel with people to create or join friendship groups but nothing really felt secure and I always felt like the outsider. Even into my adult years mixing with my wife friends, I still feel like the person who rocked up to a party out of pitty.

[@bizznick444joe7]

I moved around a lot as a child and teen as well it really damaged me.

[@petrospetromixos6962]

Thats how this world works, there are many different groups and the void around them to break into them you need to be able to dig hard without any care

[@KishBish]

it's truly amazing how lonely and isolated people feel these days.. with all of this technology and available channels for ease of connecting and communicating- we feel lonelier than ever.. it says a lot.. hang in there, everyone ❤️

[@paradiseb5950]

Because it’s not normal to comunicate through technology, it has made us more distant and everything online is fake anyway

[@thebackpainmiracle]

It’s all because Mark Zuckerberg decided ‘If I can’t have friends… then no one will’.

[@richardparker3273]

@@thebackpainmiracle lmao it seems that's about the size of it

[@Eis4Electric]

It's all about instant gratification and unrealistic social expectations.

[@GodIsLove7377]

Dude be HAPPY you don’t have fake friends who bring you down, take advantage of you and hate on you. Your wife is your best friend and that’s 100% perfectly fine!!! #noapologies

[@Veronicarosepoetry]

You’re not alone or weird, or “have something wrong with you.” You are never alone. There are so many people out there, (including myself) who feel this exact same way and wonder why we can’t make friends easily or at all. Everyone has different challenges in life, this video resonated with me a lot because this topic is one of my biggest challenges that I face in life as well. I believe we can try and cultivate relationships with others, but we’re also not defective for not fitting into all the societal norms. Maybe it’s a matter of wanting deep connections and for whatever reason you haven’t found those deeper connection (yet). All the best, just wanted to say you’re awesome and not alone on this crazy journey called life. :)

[@rsier007]

Josh. I can relate tremendously. While I do have a couple friends, moving around a lot has left me with no friends in the day to day life. It gets VERY lonely at times. And as I've grown older I am far more protective of my personal space, and what I allow myself to get involved with. This is where to a degree that "social anxiety" kicks in. You are not alone, much less "pathetic" or "different" in any way. You seem to have a great life going, a big heart, and a very healthy sense of self. Perhaps being in a space of helping others is an avenue through which you can continue to socialize and meet other likeminded individuals. Don't overthink it. Sometimes the best friends are the ones that just sit around with very few words. No need to entertain or be a larger than life human to have others around. Anyone would be blessed to have you as a friend. You have a lot of gifts to share!

[@surge337]

You’re not looking for just basic friends, that I’m sure you can make. It’s that deeper, more authentic level of friendship - that kind of friendship that actually matters. I have friends and then I have “a” friend. My bestie. That one person trumps all friends because she’s real and I can be my true self around. Great vid! Thanks for sharing.

[@maaruf1]

Hey bro. I can share this with you. I'm 52, black male married father of 1 in Brooklyn. I grew up through poverty and six years of having to constantly move. I've felt and still feel a lot of what you feel. After 50 years, I started journaling it. Turns out, I came to rely on the shame of poverty; it provided the curtain I needed to "hide" myself from anyone "seeing" "ME". That led to me being the loner I pretty much still am. The lesson I learned from moving so much is that people are not a permanent fixture but passing. I learned to form "friendships" with that in mind. "You're passing thru my life". What I DO about it are several things, the biggest of which is having a life which forces me to be in other people's lives and they in mine. Again, this was not meant to crowd out your story. Just sharing and hopefully answering some questions.

[@SaudiHaramco]

In the back of my head i'm kinda scared that once my parents are dead i will never again be able to form a real bond with anyone. There are people that i like hanging out with, who will invite me or even have very personal conversations with but there always comes a point when things slowly degrade and we move on.

[@katec9893]

I totally understand and feel the same. It's difficult not to feel very scared about this. All of us need people around us who care about us and vice versa.

[@leeneedham782]

Thank you for sharing so honestly. I’ve had therapy a few times. Really helped me realise some of issues I had which were effecting my life, I had no real idea before. Find a good therapist would be my advice. Remember you are beautiful soul. Maybe just a bit of track.

[@PianoHits]

As someone that can relate to alot of your experiences and comments on your videos, here's my thoughts as i try to take wisdom onboard; years go on people "friends" come in and out of our life and i realize people's needs for us change, we try to work on getting better at meeting our own needs. A dependency on other people will always hold our happiness prisoner, A love affair with ourselves is forever. The relationship with our mind is the most important along with gratitude. On a fears level, i can relate to your experiences and feelings but that is just one small voice in our minds. Instead of telling ourselves, we are unlovable, unable to make friends we change the words to we are independent, we meet our own needs, we live authentically to who we are, we don't need anyone's approval. Powerful statements to be authentic in what is true to ourselves. These words right now might feel like a lie but it's a better lie than the ones we've told ourselves for years. Big respect to you Josh for having the courage to share your truth, i think we need more of this in the world💖 this a leap towards genuine connections

[@williamhodgson6250]

My thoughts entirely, could not agree more.

[@FloridaTesfay]

Agreed!

[@audrey846]

Love this

[@Conormcnproductions]

I know I'm not unlovable, but I'm definitely unloved. I've always been one to avoid people though. When you're a young person, you'll be friends with almost anyone because you try to learn from people and understand them...as adults we want to meet emotional needs, and it's hard to find people that you even want to talk to. It's fine as long as you know it's ok, and there is love always out there.

[@MargoMartin1]

Love this!!!

[@idraculaa]

I’m 32 and I have no friends, also. However, it’s been a conscious choice and I don’t feel bad about it. The friends I had throughout my 20’s weren’t the best for me. I have a partner, who’s my best friend. And I’m making friends with another girl my age at my new job. I can definitely relate to the feeling of imposter syndrome. And regardless of how many friends you have, or don’t have. At least you are in a place where you are being 100% authentic - with yourself. That’s worth a lot. Massive respect for your insight and introspection and for sharing your journey and getting to this place. You are a boss

[@tikemyson8541]

Just a tip if your partner suffers from anxiety, don’t say that your other friend is your best friend because they might take it personally. Luckily I’m quite aware of my anxiety and have it under control for now LOL

[@that1monk]

being human is painful. partner or no partner. friends or no friends. thank you for your deep honesty. you have helped me and many people. i think the best thing, for me at least, is to be content and loving. 💗

[@carriegaye3403]

A courageous, truthful and sensitive man. I was a young woman during the seventies and eighties and I had pleasant friendships with my work colleagues and two women in my life whom I considered my very closest friends. All of those friendships faded as time passed. Sometimes it was a mutual failing to keep in touch, and in some cases it was because we moved far away from each other and could only communicate by mail or telephone - although that hasn't stopped one particular friendship. Also, some 'good friends' chose to disappear when my daughter passed away. Overall, I found people to be more sincere before we entered the 21st century, and I have no idea why that should be. (Is it that they prefer social media?) In recent years I've found many more people to be highly self-absorbed, repeatedly unreliable and quite fake in their approach to friendship. I don't know the reasons for this change in people's attitude. I think genuineness is important even in a casual and lightweight friendship. And so is respect for the other's views, although I find this is missing too nowadays.

[@orlandocarrillo5552]

Friends come and go, it's part of life. I was in the Navy for over 20 years and made tons of friends, but after retirement I found myself back home with hardly anybody I know from high school, they all moved to different cities. I now have to travel to multiple cities to visit people I met in the Navy and the chance of them visiting me is very slim, so I have to deal with that. I am 42 and this is the loneliest I have ever been. Being lonely has never been something I thought or felt until now, but I am ready to embrace anything life throws at me. Now I am going to take care of myself, learn new things, travel often, and complete unfinished projects. I am sure along the way people will be a part of my story. Embrace life even when alone, as I learned that even those with many friends are not entirely happy or genuine. Don't feel bad about not having friends, most people are in the same boat. My wife and my two beautiful boys are my best friends.

[@666tiger7]

"Friends come and go" I often hear this statement. It's a nice, somewhat reassuring statement suggesting that, although you may lose friends (the ones that 'go'), you will always make new friends as replacements (the ones that 'come'), pertaining to a balanced equilibrium of friends 'coming' and 'going'. However, in my experience, I have lose far more friends than I end up gaining. So I don't think the notion that "friends come and go" is entirely accurate.

[@paige172]

Thanks so much.

[@iamdeathstreak]

Thank you for your service. I have much respect for the military ✊

[@Sebasveg]

@@666tiger7 I’ve thought about the same. Friend is a complex word, I rsther to think is people you met, learned things from them but it’s a stage only and those people you might see them in the future and still can add good things to your life and you can add to their life too, but their freedom to chase their dreams might end up with both separately.

[@merivalefreya7064]

so many people feel this way. i have four kids and i know that some of them feel this way. social media makes it seem like everyone has friends but you. the truth is everyone is lonely. it just means you are a genuine person who doesnt fake connections. connections are so hard to find. its not just you. thank you for this video.

[@skurinski]

Im 35 and no friends. For me growing up closeted, I rejected male friends, and had a hard time truly opening up 100% with female friends. Ended up without any friends, just acquaintances. I've learned to be my own best friend.

[@andrewsantos7572]

@skurinski Aww man that’s terrible. I know exactly how you feel. As a man who grew up closeted himself. I could be your friend. I’m 22

[@andrewd5135]

@@andrewsantos7572 I'll be your friend we already have the same name

[@chrismirwnitis2029]

Me to same im 32

[@jorgeterrinca4084]

I understand you. I'm 35 and I don't have friends. I had friends in my childhood but not anymore. It's strange but for me friendship is the most important relashionship and people don't understand that. Bro force for you. Thanks for your video