Judy Garland Speaks | The Autobiography Tapes

[@Kayla3.0]

I found these recordings to be raw, honest, and real. She's been injured but she's still fighting. You can truly feel her love for her children as she records this. Thank you for all you gave to the world. Rest in peace Judy garland.

[@p-mac8413]

21 years ago when I was in college, I had a roommate who had this whole thing on cassette. She guarded that thing with her life and no matter how hard I tried, she never let me make a copy of it. Crazy that it's here on KZbin nowadays.

[@sarahbrownawell7401]

On June 22, 1969, Judy finally got over that mystical 'rainbow' and I hope she found peace at long last.

[@anthonycharles1185]

“It all comes down to the unholy dollar.” Best quote I have heard in decades!

[@imgonewiththewindfab]

The fact that she thought Mark Herron is the only man that loved her truly and just ended up physically hurting her after the marriage, it surely added tons more anguish and frustration in her last years

[@valeriestolper7570]

“When my number is up, I want another one.” Oh Judy, I wish that could’ve been true….RIP beautiful soul 😢🥺🙏🏼💔

[@hrj4898]

I relate to her diatribe. Life cuts you away from yourself. You're born a angel and then life marrs you up. Being born is a palette of pains. This reminds me of myself. Wasted talent. Isolated, wrongly judged, abandoned, alone, scarred, heartbroken , lost. Abused and neglected, wrongfully rejected and fired. Life is the shadow of cruel, degrading mockery. To be born again I hope will be quite the relief.

[@JenniferLloyd-h9g]

Absolutely 100% feel the same.

[@iTsEfFiNsTePhh]

Even ignoring this being Judy Garland and just focusing solely on her as a human being it's so fascinating to me hearing someone talk about their inner most thoughts and feelings while they're alone when there's no outside interferences because when you think about it we're never 100% ourselves when we're around other people and it's not until we're completely alone that we are so this is a really rare insight into someone's mind that we next to never get to hear because how many recordings are there of people talking like this? Usually it's forever locked away in someone's mind and forever lost when they pass. I grew up in an abusive home on top of going through other traumatic things in my life and have suffered from mental health issues and for whatever reason when I was a younger teenager probably 13ish to 15 I had a short period where whenever I was alone i'd record myself talking out loud just talking about how I was feeling, my struggles, what I was going through, relationships, my feeling towards those people, etc then after I got done recording i'd listen to it and weirdly enough it was really therapeutic because instead of bottling those feelings up like I normally do/did because not only did I not have anyone I could confide in but I was also bad at talking about my feelings so I was in a sense letting those feelings go in the only healthy way I could at the time. I haven't thought about that it years completely forgot about it until this video reminded me of it so thank you for that ❤️ I just hope that it brought Judy the same comfort as it did me.

[@bigbandsrock1]

I’ve loved her all my life. My heart breaks for all she’s had to endure. But in spite of everything, dear Judy could say two things that many people could not and that is that she was a good mother, & her children loved, and respected her and have never trashed her name. I have such admiration for her dear children!! They are wonderful, talented, & caring people. These three alone, and who they are speaks endless beautiful things about Judy! “We still care, dear Judy. Our love and admiration lives on & on.” ❤❤❤

[@jimrick6632]

I AM 83 NOW AND HAVE BEEN A GARLAND FAN SINCE I WAS A CHILD.....ALWAYS FELT SHE WAS IN PAIN MANY TIMES BUT ALWAYS DELIVERED....SAD HER CHILDREN COULD NOT HAVE HELPED HER IN HER LATER YEARS.....

[@TrangPakbaby]

I’ve always wanted to ask a fan who was alive when she lived. When did the public become aware of her issues and did the public judge her or was it not spoken of?

[@stormbringercoming8105]

Although it would be pointless, but every young girl who still dreams of becoming famous, should have to listen to these tapes. It’s the sound of an amazing talent who died a mess. She entertained millions. She made billions of dollars for others. All it cost was her soul. Taken advantage of by anyone that could do so. And died a lonely drunken, pill addicted mess. A very cautionary tale.

[@TJGAMINGSCOTLAND]

She's a legend.. absolute beauty and will never be forgotten. Suffering through alcoholism, but I'm not giving up. Everytime I think of judy.. I think.. cmon Josh.. get a grip! You can do this, you've got a voice and you can do them proud. I loved Judy's attitude and I'll always stand by it.. be proud! ❤

[@kylesteele3936]

Listening to these recordings has really helped me recently. I have never been used to her degree but with recent events I feel very much like people are trying to take advantage and her words resonate very strongly. When you get taken advantage of without any say you feel very angry.

[@laure4678]

It’s so beautiful to hear her talking about Liza you can feel the warmth and love in her voice

[@JenniferLloyd-h9g]

It's amazing how similar Judy's and Liza's speaking voices sound. Also, Liza inherited some astounding vocal chords. Judy Garland was an extremely talented woman. It's heartbreaking to discover her profound sadness and hurt.

[@elainelosee7974]

Oh dearest Judy Garland, The pain i hear Your life isn't Without the Love in your voice. Your children will always love you The world too You were torn Apart by many, Yet loved by Millions. So sorry for the Pain, you Are the treasures For you have given to the world. I will Treasure your Beautiful memories your Laughter, your Stories. Thank God for you, We, I love you, Remember you Always, with lots Of Love. Rest in Peace. Your fan, your Friend❤❤❤

[@niamhryan9677]

Wow I'm just in the first few seconds, I feel my heart breaking already.

[@jenniferstone4025]

i love this human being with my whole heart.

[@stephen9478]

Just listened to this while working, very heart breaking

[@biancamael.villalobos2685]

I could listen to Judy non-stop. This woman is truly a legend, and deserved so much. Including happiness and a peaceful life. Thank you, Judy. For you have touch each and one of us, through your art.

[@juliusmaloney]

I understand her anger, especially considering how hard & how long she worked for & for what reward. The shame is without an outlet for her rage, these tapes are more confessional than biography. It’s a hard listen & unfortunately it would have been hard for a publisher to pull any kind of fully formed book from these tapes. What would have helped would have been for her management (or friends) to give her a series of questions to work through within the framework of her life story. You can’t ask someone just to talk, without clear guidelines on what you’d want at the other end. Another example of Judy not having the right support or management in those final years. 💔

[@newsing33]

She's just telling the truth. Everything was told for everyone to hear about her vices, why can't she tell the truth about the vices of the vultures in her life that used her for money, a cash cow. Like Sid Luft? She has EVERY right to tell the truth!

[@Tee13-o8t]

An excellent and rarely candid document of an important personality..... Thank you for this.

[@07FreshMaker]

Wow….. to read about it is one thing… but to hear it come out of this beautiful woman’s mouth… wrapped in all that emotion… all of that fatigue… my heart breaks xx

[@joeysharp2613]

she needed someone there with her to help guide her through the process.. the tapes are fascinating, she is a true character

[@elainelosee7974]

Hi Judy, you are Amazing. Always moving forward. Wanting to be the best at anything. Wonderful sense of humor. Going to return to watch and listen. Love you. Judy Garland, your Laughter too. Yes. You do have talent. The best. So darling Judy, go on with your story. Live. Laugh and sing!! Hugs

[@derblae52]

I was up late, as usual trying to find something to put me to sleep. I came across this clip. I had heard about it some years ago, but never followed through on watching it. Seeing that it was almost 2 hrs. long, I was not prepared to watch all of it. I did. This was an unabashed masterpiece of an artist's soliloquy. Unrehearsed, Ms.Garland expresses herself like a true blues musician. Not singing, but just talking. It is all audio. A one-woman show par excellence. I have not seen the recent biopic yet. I am not sure how I will receive it after experiencing this. If you are an ardent fan, as I am, I would encourage you to make the effort

[@Allison_White]

Whew. Tough tapes to hear. Couldn’t make it all the way through. Be at peace, beautiful lady. 🕊

[@Verbsdescribeus]

the spoken voice and piano confession at the end is heart-breaking! what a timeless talent!!! thank you for uploading this!!!

[@sandeesparkles5135]

I love Judy, she was forced into having her mind, body and talents exploted by just about everyone in her life. Tragically she lost it all just trying to be a good mother, I will support her truth as long as I live. God see's everyrhing, and he certainty saw this. ❤ U JUDY

[@cheyennebrennan966]

All she wanted was to be loved and looked after. And what did she get? A lifetime of abuse, neglect and lies. I truly hope her life over the rainbow is much happier than the life she endured down here. ❤❤❤❤

[@jjlove13only1]

All Judy ever wanted was to be Loved, Cherished, and understood for who she really was. Everyone failed her right from the start. And It started with her own mother. And then when she was falling apart no one really truly seemed to be there for her. I will always L❤VE you Judy. ❤️💔❤️

[@timmy841212]

I know most of the audio is sad and tragic but that part about Sid Luft's mama making the machines and making Sid "from the Red Seas somewhere" was a READ!

[@aifricbrennan473]

God love her, seriously. At least she got her words out. R. I. P Judy xxxxxxx

[@rizzo3170]

adore her. miss her. love her

[@jm5180]

I've read a lot of the comments on here and I think it's important to keep these recordings into context: These were taped over a short 3-year period of her 47 years on earth. A very tumultuous period where she'd just gotten out of an abusive marriage with a man (Sid Luft) who milked her for everything she had. The court proceedings were ugly, the IRS was starting to come after her because of how her ex-husband had mismanaged (stolen) her money; and yes, he was successful at getting custody of her children, too. On top of that, you add the pills and the alcohol and the toll they'd taken on her at this point... But Judy went on to fall in love late in life, just before she died. She'd finally found the love she'd been seeking her whole life in Mickey Deans. And by all accounts, from those who knew her best, she was a loving, joyous, funny and extremely happy person. So it's unfair and cruel to take recordings from someone at a low point in their life and make judgements. Was Judy Garland an addict? Yes. (And who wouldn't be with the cards she was dealt?) But she was also a magnificent talent, a warm, wonderful mother and a true legend whose light will never go out. There will never be another like her.

[@katlynsparks477]

Maybe, but the weren't given habit forming pills from the time they were young kids by someone who was supposed to live and protect them. ​@tz3218

[@stephenag1]

Man this recording really makes me feel for her!

[@richardmcleod5967]

"It all comes down to the Unholy Dollar".....Judy Garland

[@lindseysanders3656]

Truest words ever spoken, regardless of what these tapes sound like, or who people thought Judy Garland was.

[@lindseysanders3656]

This is the first time I’ve listened to all the tapes in succession. I won’t pass my judgement on them because I didn’t know this woman or anyone in her life, and her children are still alive . All I will say is that you can listen and take it from many different angles, and draw your own conclusion. May she Rest In Peace.

[@ElvisandAmy8]

„My wounds I’d like to tape ..“ love that . I can relate to that feeling .

[@scorpioguy3234]

I just love her laugh,.. she may of had some faults but by God she was pushed to the brink and used in abused but the one thing she loved her babies and she did the best that she knew how and you have to love her for that I know I do!

[@mysterytrain3]

When she sings "My Man's Gone Now" from Porgy and Bess, in a cappella at the end, if it didn't make your eyes watery, then you're as dead as a fall-down tree in a cemetery.

[@Sweet_and_Southern]

Even the way she talks sounds like a song. Masterpiece

[@LoveinCarolina]

God love you Judy, and remembering you today the day you passed on home in 1969 you are still missed and still love by many of your adoring fans!

[@briannabautista8709]

It broke my heart to hear her bring up Over The Rainbow and rainbows in general in her life. You can really feel how much that role and song had impacted her. This poor woman who had known so much hardship, betrayal and gaslighting just wanted her happiness that was just out of reach somewhere over the rainbow…

[@jamesconnor1826]

Bryan, thank you so much for what you do. Sincerely. x

[@bh9225]

RIP Judy Garland. You are beautful and very missed. I love your perservering soul.

[@johncrespeno9157]

She tried so long and hard to get her life story on tape so ghost writers could transform her thoughts into a best seller. It just didn’t work, but at least we have her voice to witness her pain , anger, and lots of happiness. I was always surprised she managed to make it to age 47. The girl just wore out.

[@martha-anastasia]

Do not judge. How would you like your private stream of consciousness confessions made public? Her addiction was thrust upon her by her mother and MGM. Imagine years of drugs impacting an adolescent developing brain. I only love her more for this. Love you Judy. You were too special for this ugly world.

[@Ovinnik714]

It breaks my heart to hear how highly she speaks of Mark Herron how much she loves him and how much he shows love to her children, the only father they ever had. These recordings had to have been before the events of her mentions of Mark abusing her. Its really sad that she found true love with this man, and for this happiness she had to have also been taken away from her when shes already been stripped off of everything she had.

[@timmy841212]

And didn’t Judy eventually divorced him when she found him in bed with his lifelong partner? I could only imagine how that affected her.

[@je3720]

Powerful, Poignant & Heartbreaking.

[@Meltdown555]

We will always love you Judy 💛

[@mmcost]

INCREDIBLE FIND!!!!!BRAVO!!!!I couldnt believe what i was hearing so RAW so REAL so POWERFUL and the face pic says it all a woman fighting demons!!!!!THANKS so much and this book would have never ever been published lol

[@nightpoolproductions5747]

I wish they knew about the effects of drugs these had on people back in the day let alone on children. Maybe they still wouldnt have cared but who knows maybe she would have lived as long as Betty White did. People want to blame her for not getting more help and taking accountability, but how can you mentally have the strength to do so when youve been addicted for that long and there is no advocacy for mental health. Im so mad at her mother for not protecting her and for her husband’s and so called friends repeating that cycle. She was never treated like a person just as a cash cow. How can you not feel like a victim your whole life when everyone you thought ever loved you just wanted to use you. She never chose stardom she was flung into it and because the stage was the only place she felt valued she continued to work until the day she died. Her children were the only people that showed her any respect and unconditional love and she did everything for them. So sad to hear this beautiful soul be so broken. Like she said the Trolly ride ended for her a long time ago and there is no more over the rainbow. God bless her soul i hope she is finally at peace

[@newsing33]

You said it perfectly! 😭🎯

[@pattibrooks1907]

Judy was a very nice honest senstive person with feelings ! I think that is nice to hear her speak honestly but think who ever stole the tapes she made of herself was not being kind ! But same time it s good to hear her voice telling about her life ! She should of written a book on herself ! Judy was smart sweet and had alot of humor and wit !

[@marilynsdiary3553]

Hilarious 😂This Nazi Machine! Priceless Judy💞🌟

[@joeluft8969]

Nobody should judge - this stuff is very personal and the full complex story will never be known by the public.

[@taliyatofilau6029]

Sidney luft stole her money constantly that contributed a hell of a lot to her unhappiness

[@99Desecrator]

@@mattmammone2338 It was the electrician working on her house that saved her from the fire and later became a friend that looked out for her.

[@Rodrasroom]

It’s crazy how much Michael Jackson reminds me of Judy Garland. In some way, he even looked like her! I wonder if that was a choice of his. They had the same life in a sense. He only made it to 3 years beyond her 47. Fame kills. They had such a deep talent given by God and such a powerful capacity for love and it was exploited to very possible ounce. I wish MJ could have been as honest and just speak freely as and she does here.

[@chrissybarr7508]

This makes me feel so sad RIP JUDY G 💐🌹💕

[@bejoyful]

Another damaged soul by "stardome"'; what a waste; wishing Judy all heavenly peace.

[@CR-vj6vv]

This woman never had a chance with all of the vultures in her life.

[@lizsmith3132]

Happy 101st birthday, judy!!! 😇

[@יעליעקב-ת4מ]

I LOVE you...wherever you are ❤💔🙋‍♀️🏆

[@christinahuie3944]

Judy is very articulate. She could have made some money with writing her biography.

[@johnirvin7880]

god bless her, watch her body of work, she was amazing

[@katenewton9751]

Wow Judy you go for it

[@Holidaygirl7]

I believe her 100%

[@TransVangal]

She was so intelligent darn.wow

[@richardmcleod5967]

All people know about today are such machines..............and they know how to operate them masterfully. Thank goodness Judy hated them also.

[@franbone]

This is so soothing.

[@johnnaylor823]

Bloody heartbreaking. She should have been left to be a child. Just a cash cow for her greedy grasping mother RIP Judy 🙏🙏🙏

[@jeannie341]

Judy is one of the strongest souls that ever blessed this earth. She lived through a time period where people had nothing else better to do than sit down, read the smut-rags (gossip magazines), and write hypocritical, judgmental, sinful, hate-letters, to entertainers.. without getting the full story or the truth of the matter. Entertainers are human beings who love, laugh, cry, and feel pain like everyone else! I wish I was there for Judy and the kids ...we would have called a camera crew over, lit those evil letters on fire, and danced around singing about rainbows at the top of our lungs.. We would have given those hypocrites something to write about!

[@aprilhaywood3306]

I love Judy, listening to this made me sad 😢

[@cosmicbaddieee]

Just finished “Get Happy” and the whole book was so readable and I found I could really relate to her in many ways. She was a beautiful soul who was pushed to this. You could never judge her because you have never been through what she has. She deserved so much more grace in her last years even though she was so explosive to those around her by then. She also needed less snakes around her and to have the kind of therapy she maybe only could have gotten in these days. I’d be damn angry too. She was robbed and stepped all over. She was so sick and hurt in her last years that she cannot be judged by this at all, especially speaking of her as a person, this should be taken in as the consequences of beating down a kind woman for her entire life.

[@lorihoop3831]

I don't know why I'm so drawn to anything "Judy", the only movie of hers I've seen is the Wizard of Oz... Any time I hear of a new book etc. I simply have to read it, listen, and so on. Maybe it's a protective instinct of some sort knowing what the business did to her? It always leaves me feeling sad when whatever I've started has finished yet I can't look away. Natalie Wood and even Elizabeth Taylor draw me in like that as well since they were child stars and not allowed to be children, and how the evil industry and greedy/selfish/fulfilling their own dreams through their kids parents ultimately destroyed or damaged them.😢 Some just couldn't recover, like poor Judy.

[@artbowler9095]

"I was trying to be a singer..." XO Judy Garland

[@LoquaciousByNature]

Judy was the real deal. I love her, and Hollywood didn't deserve her.

[@harpervalleypeeteeay9708]

Married only 5 months before splitting....Judy divorced Mark testifying he beat her !

[@SomeGuy-mg5jy]

This is so HAUNTING. Like listening to someone speaking from beyond the grave. I couldn't finish it. It felt like I was listening to something I shouldn't be hearing.

[@gabe-po9yi]

I have never seen so many abuses and negative events heaped upon one person. Her tribulations rival Job’s.

[@TomMaze1]

Judy Garland speaks! I am so glad a psychiatrist asked her to make these tapes! ...It is funny beyond belief! ...Then you start out her can't working the damn tape machine with a couple of drinks. Then you start out you with her flying in a plane... (which I have been watching airplane crashes all week long) ..."Even the birds don't fly this high!"...which is made funnier the way she sang "if happy the little blue birds fly" in her famous song..."Somewhere Over the Rainbow" in "The Wizard of Oz" made in 1939 ...it is so remarkable that they cut it out several times thinking that it would make the movie slower...thank goodness they that left in! ...and Toto too! ...It is the most wistful & hopeful song ever! :)

[@TomMaze1]

Here is my favorite performance ever of Judy Garland...as she is singing to her father whom she knew was listening to on the radio... (while dying in a hospital) ...he is must have been so proud! ...Judy Garland: "Zing Went the Strings of My Heart" recording in 1935...LINK> kzbin.info/www/bejne/jnvGd4WIebqgptE

[@kevinchrisner5756]

My...she was incredibly honest! She was angry, hurt, felt totally violated and used. But you can also feel her empathy, sadness, love, and still funny ! The ONE and ONLY JUDY!🎉

[@T4531600]

❤️ Judy love her as a person so heartbreaking 😌

[@Susieq26754]

So sad for her. Nobody helped her. She had lots of resentment. ALOT

[@matthewwilks6268]

This is going to be extremely controversial to post on here. But I'm going to do it anyway. . . In spite of all her brilliance and talent Judy was an addict. As a recovering addict I can tell you that one of the first real steps to recovery is admitting your own fault in where you ended up. It's so much easier to blame others. From what I have heard here, it was always somebody else's fault. And I'm not saying Judy wasn't taking advantage of. Not at all. She was abused and taken advantage of By her mother. By her husband's. By the studio. By greedy agents When someone is looked at through money making eyes only it does horrible horrible things to their sense of self-worth and spirit BUT at the end of the day I believe we are all responsible for our own choices. Wherever she is now I hope she is finally at peace

[@lucyroth2671]

Thank you!

[@Be12397]

All you 12 steppers are ridiculous. Get real.

[@jewelzb1402]

She did marry Mark Herron and divorced him just 17 months later, for beating her. Smh. This is all so very sad. I fully understand what she is talking about without saying anything more than…”Ohhh Boy!”

[@laure4678]

Then add the fact her children were taken from her when she needed them near.. absolutely awful.

[@jjf8862]

Her mother started it all!

[@MARIANSCATLIFFE]

Judy was one in a million the studio had no compassion for her at all her mom was a horror show but the caveat is without Ethel we wouldn't have a Judy which would have been a tragedy for the world God bless you Judy rip

[@lilkey9209]

Goodness, I sure hear Liza's voice here.

[@allanmacmillan7823]

@@mattmammone2338 Liza's stint in rehab was immortalized by Warren Zevon's classic "Detox Mansion"...a song that utilized the most complex musical term I ever stumbled upon. Warren called it "the ol' wibble-wobble".

[@andrealove2689]

I’m a huge Judy Garland fan but she is in a lot of denial. Why would her kids want to live around an alcoholic and a pill popper. Mark Herron was only with her for less than a year, she needed a lot of help, part of healing and moving on is excepting your part in all of this drama. I do think a lot of people took advantage of her, but she was her own worst enemy and you cannot deny that. I felt so sad for her listening to this recording. I don’t think she wanted to get help, she had a lot of anger in her and a lot of resentment. You can tell she loved her children even if she had a skewed reality of how they may have felt about her. Liza the oldest daughter was responsible for using a stomach pump at home to get pills out of her mother system, what child wants to be around that.

[@erichwyatt6554]

So she still had five years to live as of these recordings ? I only wish she could have made it into the 1980's where addiction / recovery were much more open and the community of her followers would have been brutally honest with her . I think in order to heal from anything you first have to trust & it is clear she was void of trust here . I pray I am never a part of such neglect . Someone had 5 years of tapes to review Judy's truth .

[@JerryTemple-d6n]

A lot of friends she had were said to just tired of her…that’s not love..she needed more love than she never got personally.

[@richierichnumber1]

"She sounded like she needed impatient treatment for alcohol abuse.

[@thebrideoffrankenstein2415]

Sad 💔

[@carrieroderick5574]

This is soo incredible sad!! U cam hear the pain in her voice! All the money this amazing 👏 woman made though out her life,an all ple around her stole, or got rich off her,,,but she got shit. She was let down sounds like everyone around her..she should have been a millionaire!!! Smh rip 🙏 ull always be the true queen of music an movies Judy...love you. I still love ur music 🎶 an movies!!

[@carrieroderick5574]

Well said...!! Rip Judy 🙏

[@kahlanmarcus]

This is so insanely sad. I can't believe she was only 41 and already so burned and abused by everyone around her

[@geraldbostic4833]

Just like listening to a train wreck! So sad!! She really needed someone to look out for her!!

[@eddieg2828]

As a Gemini. I to feel like the people around me are boring or we just don't have anything in common, but yet I read books, keep up with current events, but people just have nothing to contribute. So I'm come off as weird or socially awkward.

[@lizsmith3132]

She couldn't think of the words maid of honor.