5 Common Myths About Forgiveness: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL TV's Studio 5

[@elyssa583]

I love Julie Banks. She is amazing and her advice is powerful.

[@alisafisher5103]

I fully agree with everything said in this video, and especially with the point about forgiving and still wanting a divorce. I still hear people ask me if I've truly forgiven my ex-husband for the abuse and infidelity because if I had I would not have sought a divorce. What I don't think I realized until I gave myself permission to seek a divorce was that my constant effort to forgive constant abuse and dishonesty had absolutely no bearing or power over my ex's desire to seek improvement. When I hear people criticize me or attack me for getting a divorce in an ultra-Christian society that frowns upon it, I realize that these people may have control issues and believe that forgiveness is a form of control of the forgivee (is that a word???) rather than an agreement between the self and God. I had someone say they thought something was wrong with me because I seemed too happy to be getting a divorce. If being happy about getting away from constant dishonesty, negativity, nitpicking, nagging and never knowing when I'd get kicked again is cause for concern, then so be it. One can truly forgive, and do so from a distance. I believe the rates of domestic violence would decrease if we gave ourselves permission to forgive within the context of safety of mind, body, and spirit. Forgiveness and safety are really separate issues.

[@joncena168]

Amen!

[@alcudiababe1]

i just want to comment on the last one and or myth - i can do that if all is what i needed to hear was a heart felt appology...

[@alcudiababe1]

and i dont want to hear justifications or their reasons to defend themselves... like oh well we thought this etc. Like you made a video on those steps to a powerful appology - i am hurting, that person has upset me and if they cant focuss their energy on saying they feel guilty or they didnt mean what they said an appologise then its like in ingrained and when it gets touched upon at a family dinner down the line and because i havent been allowed to deal with it - to get the appology or to feel the right to be angry then they feel intense anger toward them that doesnt really match the situation.

[@mirellewittig8468]

Thank u ❤️

[@Webbgurl2000]

The amygdaloid in the brain doesn't allow you to forget. The only you can choose to do is refuse to release it to God to take care of the situation each time, and make it right. Is it going to hurt? You betcha! But as time goes on, practicing forgiving without pressuring yourself. It's good to know that it's normal to FEEL THISE CRAPPY FEELINGS, process them and This helps with forgiveness. It will eventually come. But to expect forced forgiveness to come out with peace it won't. I can't do it. I'm processing walking it out. Nice if someone can forgive quick, I don't trust it!! It's usually a process

[@paulcooper5748]

I want the woman in green shes beutiful.