6 networking hacks for the nervous

[@InsertLiteraryPunHere]

This is perfect timing, thank you. I'm looking for jobs in New York at the moment and every time I meet people this voice in my head is screaming EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM IS MORE GLAMOROUS THAN YOU, COMMENCING PANIC STAGE ONE

[@jazeolo]

"The toilet never judges you." Leena Norms, 2017

[@LaurenAndTheBooks]

This advice is not just for networking, it is LIFE ADVICE! Thanks so much Leena! x

[@StrongImaginationA]

'I still hide in the toilet sometimes' OMG I was at an event last week and I only knew one person and my other friend was 2 hours late and I considered hiding in the bathroom and then I was like 'YOU'RE 25, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HIDE IN THE FUCKING BATHROOM.' :'D But yeah, it's actually a place where you can ground yourself, and my physical therapist even gave me a relaxing exercise you can do on the toilet (with the lid closed, that is), lol.

[@lermaline8233]

StrongImaginationA I love the "lol" you left at the end haha That type of exercice is effective for you then ? some sort of breathing technique ? :)

[@sweetganymede]

I'm also curious about what this exercise is! I can use all the help I get lol

[@eveblack4705]

As someone who's part of publishing circles, I will verify that almost every person I've met who works in publishing is actually really lovely. If you go up to them and are genuine, you'll get a good response. Also definitely use this when you're interning: go up to people and ask them about their job and how they got there. It's both really valuable info for when you graduate and as well as building potential friendships/professional contacts.

[@imkesalz8059]

Eve Black tru! I did. this all the Time Weile interning and that way I got. to Chat to everybody a little Bit and they also don‘t feel left out and also Night like you more

[@georgilosophy]

Lols anyone else w social anxiety watch this and just be like IM OUT I can live without a career right.... Seriously though I can’t fckn do this shit

[@georgilosophy]

Also in my experience, most people aren’t that nice aha like people don’t choose to include you, you reallyyyyyy notice that when you have a social anxiety problem

[@ArteoftheMist]

I've definitely noticed/felt that but I've noticed it depends on the event/group as a whole. I've had some really bad ones and some good ones - it's those that threw me off lol. I was surprised that there were genuine people out there at these sorts of things!

[@dorkabrain]

THIS!!! I'm incredibly socially anxious, and the times when I've worked up the courage to connect to people they usually treat me like garbage. I've tried to "fake it till you make it" by mimicking the actions of extroverted, overly-confident people who others seem to fawn over, but the results have always been abysmal. Trying to talk to a singular individual in person usually causes me to feel like I have an angered beehive inside my rib cage.

[@potattoprincess9708]

please, do you have any vacancies in MINISTRY OF MAGIC??!

[@GraceHebditch]

KZbin STARDOMMM

[@laurablackholly2121]

I've always been told that once you've asked for someone's name at a networking event you should repeat their name back to them so that they know you were paying attention and it makes people feel more comfortable because they are happy you are listening to them - also helps to remember it yourself, I get the most nervous networking when I have forgotten someone's name

[@muxajetaptocom]

honestly, thanks for the video, I love the community you've created and I relate so much to many things you said in this particular video and a 100000 others even if we have totally different lives. you is kind, you is smart, you is important

[@creativereindeer]

Hahaha this is quality - that boats big. The best piece of advice given to me was so plain obvious I couldn't believe I'd not twigged before... it was to go up to a group and ask if they'd mind if I joined the conversation......... 💡💡💡💡💡💡 Latest noooooz. It's worked a treat.😜

[@xxfrancesnthomasxx]

Man I love that dance story. My fave is "I have a spare ticket to .... because my friend's busy"

[@Sedw123]

You honestly don’t know how helpful this is for me right now! Thanks for all the great, and oddly calming videos hahaha

[@christinabartonart1072]

THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS. I'm in my second year of uni studying Painting, Drawing and Printmaking, which means its time to start hosting conferences and shows and networking with galleries and all of those nightmare things that I don't feel comfortable doing. Approaching people honestly and not bringing out my phone and things like that was such good advice. :)

[@ruthlouise95]

Thanks Leena! This was good a refresher for the CBT I had for social anxiety, very helpful!

[@nugal9320]

Love this! Such a unique idea for a video 😃 when I saw the title of the video I was like 'YES THAT'S SOMETHING I NEED TO KNOW BUT IT ISN'T OFTEN ON MY MIND' 😃😃 eyeshadow lookin' stellar by the way ✨🔥

[@imkesalz8059]

So helpful and comforting!

[@lucyaliceee]

I'm doing my first ever bit of paid journalism at a fancy event in Westminster tonight so your timing couldn't have been more perfect!

[@lilynxa1209]

Good luck :)

[@mooostlymegan]

Wooow I love this so much, I'm quite new to your channel and just going through some of your old videos but I feel like this kind of thing REALLY fills a gap that I'd love to see more of on youtube. I would LOVE any more career related or just general socialising/confidence related videos, having found this I'm aware of a huge gap on youtube that I would love to see you fill for those topics! xx

[@Creating.in.hibernation]

I think this is helpful in any social situation, even if it's not networking. Anxiety can take control of me and having an escape route is one of the best techniques I can use. Also going alone to art galleries like you said is so calming for me. x

[@pureheartbadass]

this is really, really helpful, thank you so much xx.

[@teamakesmehappy5399]

As an overthinker and 1st year bachelor of arts student this was a welcome video. I am sadly not just worried about networking but job oppurtunities and career paths of my future (or the lack thereof) as an English major. Anyone else panicking about their future like this? Questioning what I'm doing and where I'm going but really liking English class!

[@lilynxa1209]

Don't worry too much, I'm in my last year of university and panicking too! I think it's perfectly normal. I really hope it goes well for you :)

[@johnnymissesme7464]

Thoroughly enjoyed the video. I'd love to hear more advice on how to successfully interact with other humans, please! For after the lockdown, I guess

[@aejlindvall]

This couldn't have come at a better time, I'm looking for interships in journalism for next term and it's SO exhausting... Okay, let's just watch it again and write the points down. Thank you!

[@annalina-we]

Such a helpful video 😍 i'm really trying to work on being more open when i dont know anyone at the moment as well, perfect timing 👌 and i love your eyeshadow!

[@annatucci7631]

How do you get invited to these events in the first place? I've always been a very nervous/shy/introverted person and so i have a super limited social circle, and basically no connections to the "corporate world" besides, like, my parents... I'm graduating uni next spring and have no clue how what's going to happen bc getting a job seems so impossible! idk!

[@bellehamster]

this is vvvv useful, not just for career-related networking, but also just social situations with people you don't know well!!

[@Frazyie09]

Really appreciate the advice! Also I hate to be like that but your eye make-up looks particularly mesmerizing, mind making a small beauty thing m a y b e..??

[@emeline_4]

Lolz the last advice is definitely me, I'm supeeer bad at meeting people and socializing but definitely the only time I manage to do it is me going to people and being like "Hey, please pretend not to notice I awkwardly just joined" or something, since I'm not able to naturally talk to people I'm very honest about how awkward the situation is

[@LauraDFTBA]

On the subject of little white lies and anxiety loo breaks, if anyone does question why you've been gone for 10 minutes, either say there's a queue or that you bumped in to someone. Escape plans - arrange with someone ahead you can text a word or phrase instructing them to call you so you can use them as an escape. The clap is still useful if you're using an internal mic, sometimes sound/image get out of sync by a frame or two after being put in to an editing software.

[@lucycoppard2509]

the story of you in the bar was iconic

[@lilynxa1209]

Ahahah I'm definitely like you and overthinking it ! Thanks for the advices ! They were great :) My tip is just to form a team with some other alone person and then I already feel like I'm a bit less out of place and it makes it easier to talk to a bigger group later in the night.

[@Louisyed]

lilynx a This is a great strategy. If you bond with another lonely person early then you have someone to join at any point during the event. I've done that at conferences and then we end up parting ways to go to different talks, but then later when it's lunch say, if you haven't found anyone else to stick with and are feeling awkward then you're basically friends with them now and can just join them and whoever they're with! Or also once you're with another person it's easier to add people to your group in a relaxed way, the other lonely people will be really grateful

[@lilynxa1209]

Exactly ! You said it better than me :)

[@zoe4706]

Update: had to pause half way through because of my awful internet but now that I've searched the end of this video THANK YOU FOR THIS! This has reassured me that I might be okay in every social situation.

[@Emgreen19]

This is actually the most helpful video on getting to know people I have ever watched! You also just took so much of the anxiety off of me because I want to go study in a different country - alone. And like I sort of know I can do it and that I want to do it but I was always scared of being alone but now I'm like so what I'll go to an event or a bookshop or I don't know and I'll make some friends :) Thank you!!!

[@jennyhelen406]

Could you please make a video showing the sorts of things that you wear to these events?

[@Emgreen19]

omg I just deciphered the quote on your profile picture and WOW IT'S GREAT

[@jennyhelen406]

Emgreen19 Thanks, I'd like to find something with a similar sentiment that is easier to read, for now this will do!

[@lucyrutherford]

It’s funny, I’m relatively good at making small talk with strangers at work because there’s a formula and politeness to it. It’s when it comes to making actual friends I start floundering haha

[@dontminchinit]

Thanks Leena! I have a weekend away with strangers this weekend so it couldn't come at a better time!

[@shangoshango2471]

As an introvert these are LIFE hacks haha.

[@pile333]

Never forget: "Homo homini lupus".

[@danaal-sheyyab8720]

what if I AM the CEO of the world

[@sweetganymede]

Lena, you are such a gem! I have been feeling so anxious about networking and going to events recently that I just haven't gone. I made notes of all your points in my notes app so I can do a quick once over next time I'm on my way to an event I'm nervous about. Thank you!

[@sweetganymede]

Also, I'm moving to London in January (from Sydney, Australia), and was wondering if you have any advice on where to find communities of digital creatives that hold meetups and events and such? I'm going to network the shit out of London ^_^

[@swatiswami598]

this was a good video💙

[@TrapezeLeader]

i needed this so much

[@TheReadersAthenaeum]

These tips were really useful, thanks! I can't think of anything more nightmarish than going out dancing and initiating myself into another group, though, haha. I'd absolutely hate it!

[@thefrancophilereader8943]

Perfect! This is the kind of video I need to watch nearly every week. I am generally a pretty introverted person but I care about what I do and get excited when others care too. It can be intimidating though to strike up a conversation with someone who is the super famous professor.

[@merlinHPtwilight]

I JUST SAW YOU IN A POTTERMORE VIDEO! So cool!! *In Rons voice* Bloody hell! Wicked.

[@francesca4961]

Lena, where you talk about us being a whole people, I've been thinking about this for days. It's something I needed to hear. I've been wrestling with my work self and my me self, and a bunch of other selves and trying desperately to keep them separate; which is, impossible. So anyway, I just really wanted to say thank you.

[@thingslaurasays9995]

Thanks so much for this video. I saw networking as this cold, impersonal, "what can i squeeze out of you" interaction... and thought it might be for some people, i want to network like u do!

[@strawb2811]

I liked your advice :) though I have really bad anxiety and being relatable doesn't usually cover crying or panic attacks unfortunately. I also don't see networking as different to making friends or getting to know people. I'm glad you pointed that out. I just struggle with all human interaction lol (thank God for self-serve checkouts!)

[@loop123]

Absolutely fantastic advice. Took a few years but I myself am a no-longer-nervous-networker and can vouch for everything said here :)

[@catrinevansmusic]

This is so good! I'm just starting out as a musician and from going to a few of these kinds of events I've noticed that I stick out a bit. I'm not super smooth or articulate and I'm a bit pudgy and normal looking. These things aren't massive insecurities for me tho so very early on I decided to make sticking out my mo and just kind of roll with it. So I bumble and laugh awkwardly at myself and people usually respond quite well. And even if they don't take me seriously at first, my hope is that my music will speak for itself. It's way more articulate than I am.

[@chebey93]

Great video - I'm currently a PhD student and the importance of networking is always stressed to us. I definitely will try and avoid pulling my phone out as a reflex! Thanks for the tips.

[@ArteoftheMist]

I love this - networking tips are always useful (so many people have different ones) especially for those (me) that abhor it. Thank you!

[@zoe4706]

Whoo! First comment! (Hey Leena!) You're so giddy in this video I love it! This topic is literally me in every social situation. Could you do a video on anxiety? What your opinions are on the mental health issue, whether or not you have some form of it, and how you think anxious people, like me 🤣, can get themselves out of the rut?

[@FloralFidelity]

THE TOILET NEVER JUDGES YOU thank you for that

[@theliteraryexpat9852]

Loved your networking advice, so perfect as I feel like I'm bad at it. Nice to know everyone's in the same boat.

[@Zyswest]

I love your videos Leena! thanks so much for this! I hate taking anything from anyone, so networking is naturally unappealing to me, but this helped me sort through a bit of that brain funk! Thanks!

[@bluebayou9467]

7:38 actually made me laugh out loud. In my family home of 6 people. In the middle of the night. So thanks for that. Still adore you though, no grudges here

[@emilieeast8788]

I've been in love with this channel for so long not even kidding. you're basically what I want to be when I grow up.

[@IKY94Zac]

You're such a genuine person. In peace with yourself. I love you xD.

[@merlinHPtwilight]

Great video!! I'm going to think about three good anekdotes now

[@annafre1789]

Ohhhh yeah, I'm really bad at being by myself I'm always so tempted to go on my phone

[@kimchrysanthemum]

That was extremely helpful. Thank you!

[@chloerosewescott3097]

I NEEDED this thankyousomuchhh x

[@pureheartbadass]

*wildly gesturing* me: same

[@MissTwilightHater]

Your hair though

[@suranjanpattanaik8871]

is that you ma am , ?

[@joannahenry7112]

THANK YOU SO MUCH! This is so what I need! I have to do lots of networking because I've just started uni a very industry focused degree course and they keep making us go to confrences and talk to all these high up rich white middle aged men people and I know I should ask questions but what questions do I even ask and I don't want to look ignorant and I don't want to get in their way and then doing all this thinking and being with all the people is just exhausting af. Also LINKEDIN what even is that can you make a video about that please because I just feel awkward about the entirety of it :)

[@AlwaysEatingDeath]

Love your story about going to a club, that sounds terrifying to me, but like drunk people can be so friendly haha. Love these tips though, I really want to network to just expand my knowledge of the industry, and yeah make friends haha

[@WaistHighView]

I feel like you somehow observed me at my few experiences of networking situations, and specifically made this for me; thank you! Seriously, I almost feel like it could be fun now? :P