Karl Pilkington Tells Real Jokes

[@mankytoes]

I love how at 4.57 he just repeats his joke, just like a child often does when you laugh at something they say.

[@076657]

:

[@Olliefouracre]

:

[@inconsistentinternetvideos]

Too muc lying low

[@RyanDownes000]

"Was it a dark time? Well it was for me cause I worked nights" Genius

[@louisasmiles]

RDGaming 0

[@adampowers6423]

You’re setting a pretty low bar for genius

[@RT-ks2zi]

@@adampowers6423 well there’s no difference between genius and mad

[@ANDY123SON]

​@@RT-ks2ziThey say there's no difference between and idiot and a genius

[@Faz-86]

Who else has listened to all the xfm shows a bit too much? Lol

[@L33tw0rk]

to the point where I remember the order of Ricky's laughs in each episode

[@jbri1]

that's impossible

[@bobsmith3291]

Every night for years

[@hellodave5389]

Definitely, I'll have a drink and listen to them when I'm cooking, my wife's never happy when I return an hour later pissed and giggling with a plate of shite

[@rampager1990]

Way too much but at the same time not enough

[@01rai01]

2:47 That laugh nearly blew the roof off.

[@AaronSmith-hn3ud]

Its even funnier at 0.5 speed xD

[@todddickinson3262]

@@AaronSmith-hn3udI actually listen to a lot of the shows at that speed! It’s like sitting around with a bunch of your stoned buddies!! It gives everything an entirely different vibe!

[@danieltanure8738]

One of my favorites is when Karl was talking about ghosts and he asks Ricky what he would feel like if there was some mysterious thing wandering around his room, Ricky said something to the effect of "I would know it was just my cat" and Karl went "No, that's probably got its own room".

[@mburzzzawa]

i just love Ricky's " oh a actual joke! look at his little face! "

[@Animaja001]

Too much layin' low!

[@archiethedog4515]

Karl's smiles cure cancer.

[@BrandonWillWin]

Jaffa cakes

[@bajer111]

the attitude (hat he chewed) pun was brilliant though. to weeks in the proces, no problem!

[@lextube]

"Not whilst Coldplay are here" was genius, but you missed the bit before it to get the joke!

[@ValkyrieDaisy95]

I know XD! The bit where Ricky and Steve were mucking about. XD Steve was being "The interviewer" and Ricky was impersonating Chris Martin XD

[@jamessharp5001]

Could you please explain it, or tell me which XFM show its from? Cheers

[@Toms00]

James Sharp would also like to know what show this is from???

[@trachtaire]

head to Pilkipedia, and look for Karl's quote. Google: 'Pilkipedia "not while Coldplay are here"' and it'll come up surely.

[@DSevenn]

James Sharp 5 years late to reply but just incase anyone’s wondering this now... Ricky and Steve were doing an impersonation skit pretending they were interviewing Chris Martin from Coldplay a few minutes before what can be heard here so what Karl said was funny because it was kind of an inside joke from earlier in the episode.

[@windibd]

"He has a friend named Oi." "Is his surname Comehere?"

[@passiondpete1624]

dark tower?!

[@Gyrbae]

@@passiondpete1624 No billy-bumblers here.

[@nuttysnpdg]

1:40 it's even more funny because Karl hadn't really said anything for about 5min before that line, Ricky and Steve were having their own discussion then Karl jumps in with that.

[@cal1050]

Warwick: "If you could be tall or short which would you rather be? Put yourself in my shoes perhaps..." Karl: "... Wouldn't fit..." *Ricky Chuckles* :D

[@alanheyes694]

Such a brilliant retort.

[@philipmango3288]

One of my favorite things Karl ever said was during a time he was complaining about not being able to put a couch out on the sidewalk in front of his house for the trash collectors to take away. Ricky and Steve pointed out that a blind person could trip over it. Karl loudly said, "What's the dog doing?!" referring to the blind person's seeing eye dog.

[@WhiteSleevedStu]

0:52 The punchline here, in its context, was one of the most brilliant lines ever from Karl.

[@ryanholmes3055]

My favorite is when they are discussing the phrase 'you can't have your cake and eat it' and Karl mentions a time when he saw some erotic themed cake and then says 'that's when you can have your cake and eat TIT'. Genius

[@LjubicaServaas]

The "hat he chewed"/attitude line is genuinely brilliant.

[@reshmapatel325]

All 3 of them work so well together. I wish they did more programs.

[@xigbar1994]

I love his joke at 4:40. Karls so pleased he repeats it. Love him

[@WinglessHydra03]

"Look at his little face!" I love Ricky's love and fascination with Karl XD

[@afrohoney]

"She's a right ropey little woman". Karl is talking about a 12 year old at a talent show. He's got such a way with words. We love you, Little Karly Pilkoids.

[@ftterguf5799]

@2:47 best ricky laugh of all time

[@joshfish2]

+Fætter Guf haha, he either sounds like a screaming banshee or a vulture! Best laugh ever

[@welshbeef3]

Must of been a dark time.... Ermmmm, well it was for me. I was working nights. LOL

[@jesslovesrammstein]

Look at his little face!!

[@Jack-qp9ky]

"Put your self in my shoes perhaps" ... "wouldn't fit" haha

[@GhostofRhurValley]

he gives you a literal response.

[@Webofscience]

Warwick: "Put yourselves in my shoes" Karl (quietly): "They wouldn't fit" Love it

[@Saisinkolimonadin]

You can just hear the grin on his face when he says that. Brilliant.

[@ElvisLivesUpstairs]

LOL Ricky's so proud of Karl sometimes, like he's his son.

[@NF2K]

It's amazing because you can't tell if some of these are him genuinely cracking jokes or just typical Karl logic XD

[@comface]

"Get me in the book!"

[@brooksbrooks6805]

karl telling real jokes is the greatest thing ever lol

[@Dannyboy89spurs]

“Well get me in the book then”is utter genius reply from Karl

[@uyy7uhy]

"too much lying low."

[@GhostofRhurValley]

Its like a kid who tells a joke that made everyone laugh.

[@ChristopherPoirierVoiceActor]

The second time: "....lying low"

[@ih82r8]

Anyone else wish there was more animated episodes to this brilliant trio??

[@jimmysofa9215]

"Oooh...I love Karl, I love you..."

[@Stuart154]

I've always thought that the 'Get me in the book' line was one of the sharpest responses i've ever heard. You missed out my personal favourite which was when before the show Derren Brown had tried to guess the number he was thinking (42) and he opened a letter which turned out to just be a women's dental inspection date 'Yea, but she could have a FAWLTY TOOTH'

[@benjaminlloyd1144]

Best personality combination on radio without a doubt. carl is legendary

[@TheMaleRoleModel]

Karl smiling is one of the greatest things to see

[@rikurodriguesneto6043]

Ricky says he doesn't like puns, but he sure laughed hard at 'at-he-chewed :D

[@Nicallica11]

love how Ricky talks about Karl like he's not even a human being. Look at his little face! It smiles!

[@jakesdaddy08]

Here's a tip. Don't be listening on headphones at 2.48

[@ech-pi-el]

TLAAAAAAAAAA

[@craigchristian1277]

Haven't got that far as I write this but I'm guessing its Ricky's fault

[@LaoTze151]

+jakesdaddy08 thanks mate

[@liamjd1]

"Thats a fable" lol he loves his fables.

[@adampowers6423]

The one about the conjoined twins not looking both ways is the best

[@BethanyGordon1992]

"why didn't he just look both ways?" Ahahaha, oh Karl.

[@Meth.Donalds]

"Its was dark times" "Well, it was for me, cause I worked nights"

[@hatfinch]

"Well it was for me, cause I worked nights." -- brilliant!

[@WildfireX]

The best one wasn't on here... The one about "you can have your cake & eat tit" haha

[@AutomaticDuck300]

"...play a record. I want to talk to you about puns."

[@danieltanure8738]

There was also the one when Ricky was talking about his fat friend who tipped over a sausage cart because he was pissed with Germans for beating England in soccer and that was the closest thing to a German he found, Karl went "Well, if he was fat he probably only tipped it over because it wasn't open".

[@isaacharkton6169]

Never heard that before. What the fuck is a soccer?

[@blllllllllllllllllllrlrlrl7059]

@@isaacharkton6169 shut up

[@ryanjones6127]

"Why wasn't he looking both ways" 🤣🤣🤣

[@aintgonnahappen]

Karl is absolutely brilliant

[@JayM108]

CANNOT. STOP. CLICKING. ON. RELATED. VIDEOS. ABOUT. KARL. PILKINGTON.

[@MisterWrench]

3:20 this joke is great. Every now and then I’ll remember it and start laughing out loud

[@drumset7916]

what does he say i can't understand him

[@Julius-mt7mt]

@@drumset7916he says attitude, but he clarifies that he thought that they say because of the hat he chewed. The joke being about a guy being on a show where ‘celebrities’ lose weight

[@todddickinson3262]

If you’re like me and you’ve listened to everything these three have ever done, I have a suggestion that makes it all fresh again. Slow the playback speed to .5 and just listen. It’s like all three of them have smoked some really good weed, and they’re just talking nonsense like every group of stoners does. It’s great!!

[@SoFarSoGoodSoWhat14]

Ricky's laugh at 2:47 is one of the best things ever :'D

[@omgitsrobsandy]

i'd love to see Karl trying stand up comedy. seeing him on live at the apollo would be one of the funniest things to ever see!

[@Yellowcoatedlowman]

I've been stuck in a Karl Pilkington loop for the past 19 hours........I've even watched ones I've already seen and can't remember....SOMEONE BREAK MY FINGERS!

[@theironshiek]

"He knew it was funny, it was ment to be funny, he said it to be funny and ift was! Well done"

[@DougMold]

“Not whilst Coldplay are here” might be my favorite

[@rickstein123]

Karl is so funny and witty. I love him

[@RJREID1992]

This is just amazing. Cracking compilation!

[@Iunio92]

hat he chewed holy shit i forgot that one

[@alexbekele8945]

Iunio92 it's genius

[@mikewozere]

"Well, get me in the book" is one of the most genius retorts I have ever heard.

[@HoldemHustle]

the hat he chewed lol I wish we could see his face!

[@mucusmayhem1118]

He's hilarious 😂 😂 He takes a lot of stick but he plays the part well. When he wants to be real card he's the Ace. 😎😂😂

[@sxyqt3.14]

both man these 3 are my fav trio in comedy ever they are teh diamond jem of come

[@t0kt0k]

Karl is the funniest of the three.

[@PetrolPatrol]

some of these jokes only make sense in the context that they were in but still some cracking one liners ;)

[@MrMerlin87]

i remember that story about robin on one of the xfm shows. one of the best stories ever! xD. good memories

[@_Super_Hans_]

Love it love it love it. Someone should make a clip of Ricky asking him if he's a scientist/doctor. He does that a lot.

[@bychance8177]

2:48 one of the best laughs I've ever heard. Unlike the goggle eyed monster's fake laughs

[@5implesimon]

Ahhhhh I see. That clears it up cheers mate. Still quick witted for Karl tho, "wait till his 30!!" ha. Thanks

[@lowellisaac]

I've always said Karl has a very deep and witty brain that just happens to be empty.

[@ColinXS]

I wish I could see Karl's little grin when he is deliberately funny.

[@liannes5576]

Look both ways, hat he chewed and too much lying low were too funny. This should have been a feature😂

[@TheDBrennan922]

Ricky used that Madonna joke at the Golden Globes, I had no idea he got it from Karl haha

[@Szaam]

2:48 Favourite Ricky laugh ever

[@Crumbs_Crumbs]

I still go that 2:06 bit is so brilliant because you know he means it!

[@CORNISHDUDE]

the 1st time i heard/saw karl was on rickys politics standup dvd i got on xmas day, thanks santa :)

[@shanustheanus]

You can only understand the Coldplay bit, if you heard the rest of the show.

[@aaronhassett7649]

look both ways. that killed me

[@MrBazzabee]

Comedian Ken "Settle down now,settle down"Goodwin used that one on Granada TV's"The Comedians" in the early 1970's cos I remember tellin' that joke in Ken's inimitable style way back then ...to my school chums amusement !!

[@GangsterMMA]

One of my favourites is where they're discussing the 'Elephant Woman' who used to get picked up in Karl's Dad's taxi and Karl says something like "the thing about people like that is you can't make fun of them, cos they NEVER FORGET!"

[@jamends1220]

"It was for me because I worked nights!" classic.

[@ThyRedCoat]

I absolutely love this man!

[@ElvisLivesUpstairs]

"Heart, which is, he's wreaking his own" LOL

[@FriedGoldSyndro]

"Too much lyin' low"

[@LifeOfRy]

From about 4:16 onwards you can faintly hear Karl going "mm" and "yeah" as he's waiting for a moment to interject so he can deploy the "too much lying low" dynamite. You can hear him clearly at 4:32 and 4:38 and even a little "well" at 4:43

[@tomimpala]

As long as Karl lives so does the cure for depression.

[@feeltheillinois]

hahaah i love how ricky always says "look at 'is little face"

[@TheRealSzillard]

I like how you have managed to capture the future with "5 November 2011 (Scott Mills on Radio 1)"

[@bryal7811]

2:47 That's a joker-tier laugh. Straight from Mark Hamill's lips.

[@Johnz0rr]

why wasn't he looking both ways. amazing!

[@benjaminstrudwick7368]

"Oi" that's why I love Portugal.."oi technically Brazilian " but it's easy when usually drunk and the city full of Brazilian mates 🤣😂

[@varun009]

"Celebrity squares". That's the video I came from!

[@MayfairSnatcher]

From memory, I think they had tickets to a small metal festival to give away in a competition.

[@OscarHarding]

Ricky's laugh at 2:48 is his best ever!

[@anetchi]

Good lord I love Ricky's laugh!

[@ColossalFailure]

I loved this video, are there any more "real joke" compilations anyone has put together?

[@HarrisC16]

"Don't walk in a river of snakes" LOL, oh dear.

[@chavhunter2521]

"The at-he-chewd", fucking brilliant!