Personal Tattoo Advice: Disrespectful & Sexist Moms

[@kobayashi_oli]

If you are not mature enough to love your children even if they end up not fitting your fantasy of who you think a person should be, you are not mature enough to raise children.

[@Katrinberndt]

+H. M. Kobayashi amen! You should be proud that you raised an independent person who wants to follow their own thoughts and dreams

[@feliciahagg4388]

Katrin Berndt true that! #fuckthesystem #nohate #hatersgonnahate #beyourself #fuckwhattheythink

[@ashnicole9543]

PLEASE TELL ME MOTHER AND FATHER THIS

[@emmanem83]

H. Marie K. Holy shit I literally could NOT agree with you more 👏🏼

[@luizacoguimaraes]

I hated when I was getting my second tattoo (kinda big) and everyone kept asking me "but what's your boyfriend is gonna think?" Answer: The stuff I put on MY skin has nothing to do with ANYONE.

[@Katrinberndt]

Definitely!

[@halesb7085]

I don't get why people can't understand that! Even when I'm asking my boyfriend for simple constructive input, like hey do you think this piercing would flatter me, or would this be good placement for a tattoo, he always ALWAYS responds with "it's not my body, it's not my decision to make."

[@annwen4791]

Gotten the same question before too! Snapping my fingers for your reply.

[@formerevolutionist]

How would you feel if your boyfriend did something permanent with his body without consulting you?

[@alks3360]

formerevolutionist I wouldn't care at all. It is his body. Plus, he has way more tattoos than I do.

[@krln_9615]

once again for the people in the back YOU ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS PROPERTY!

[@grayblackhelm6468]

krln_ The law does consider children as their parents property.

[@pvdl.1577]

True, but only until you are 18

[@NoThankUBeQuiet]

joe That entitely depends on where you live

[@redshark9537]

Fine. So long as your parents aren't paying your bills. If you need their money, they get to call the shots.

[@PrincessofErised]

When my daughter was about 14, she wanted to get a tattoo and I forbid it. I told her she could do as she like when she was 18. I let her pierce her ears, within reason and only if I took her to the person, but other than that, no. She groused about it, but I held firm. Fast-forward 20 years, she (who is still without tattoos) came to visit. I asked her advice about a tattoo I was thinking about getting. She looked shocked. I told her that it was never about the tattoo, but about her waiting to be an adult before she made an adult decision. After that, you are free to be whatever butterfly you want to be and I will love you, same as the day you were born.

[@Katrinberndt]

+PrincessofErised haha that's exactly how it should be and how I will raise my children as well. Not an adult? My rules go. An adult? I hope I raised you to make good decisions! ^^

[@TheFanOfSims3]

Does she still want to get tattooed ? :p

[@PrincessofErised]

I will find out if she gets one. lol She did prank me once when she was 16 with a clip-in septum ring. Laughed her butt off. Gotta love her.

[@NoThankUBeQuiet]

Sounds like my mom, except if I still wanted it after a year or so she probably would have let me cause they honestly werent too strict on that stuff. Meanwhile I'm 26 and have only recently considered a couple

[@greeneyedscorpia]

I've heard some variation of, "What if you meet the perfect guy and he... doesn't like tattoos, wants children, likes to trophy hunt, etc.?", for pretty much any decision I make that my family doesn't agree with me on. Newsflash, if he is against something that is really important to me, he's not the perfect guy. Also, why is the opinion of a hypothetical future guy more important than my own opinion?

[@krissicarsonart]

Krissy J Also, newsflash: there's no such thing as "the perfect guy."

[@emilysarah1033]

Yes!

[@antifleshnimbus4785]

Yes! The "perfect" for her, definitely wouldn't be your perfect, I hear same stuff and I literally puke with all this shit. My family is very non-supportive and "strict" in their way of thinking, they never appreciated anything I liked and wanted in my life, that was sad and ruined pretty much my self-confidence and many years of my youth.. Not anymore though, I moved away and try to live my own now, though it hurts still, even the phone call or simple talk sometimes leaves me sad and pretty nervous about subjects that are MY life, well I'm constantly trying to learn the "Fuck that" art and go my own way to be happier person that I was for all those years...

[@CelebralBore]

I like to think that people who hate tattoos actually hate commitment.

[@adday.]

If you are still single when one day you are past your prime, you might think differently about men.

[@claja_]

My grandma told me that she worried about me getting a sleeve one day because I could scare away good guys. I told her that I'm pretty sure I would only be weeding out the bad ones if that's all they care about 😒

[@Katrinberndt]

Amen!

[@GTOboi211]

Very well said.

[@sakura.stormborn.3399]

clajatheperson mine told me if i get a full sleve done that that would just nake me more ugly and undesireble and also that i'm not a prisoner to be all covered in tattoos 😞

[@claja_]

sakura.stormborn. That's a shame. I bet you're lovely and having art on your body would only make you more beautiful not an automatic criminal geez

[@bobsmith3931]

She's right.

[@marissa128]

I went through this when I got my first tattoo (pretty large, a shoulder cap of roses) last year. My parents had that initial knee jerk reaction but my grandmother gave it to me the worst and even said that tattoos look better on men (my grandfather has a forearm tattoo from when he was like 16). Keep in mind that I'm 29 years old, a wife, a mother, have a career as a physical therapist assistant, and am going back to school for a second degree. I've made the deans list every semester so far. So when they tore into me about it, I pointed out that having tattoos does not change me as a person, change my morals, change my ability to do my job, make me a bad wife, a poor mother, or a slacking student. I've never been arrested, hooked on drugs, or any other lovely stereotype people like to bring up about tattooed individuals.ive never been fired from a job EVER or asked anything of them, money or otherwise. They asked my husbaNd how he felt and he said he loved my tattoos 😹(he doesn't have any himself). After that they kind of backed off and realized how silly they sounded when things were put into perspective like that. People, including parents and other family members can be so ridiculous about tattoos. Sometimes they don't understand that our society/generation is pretty ambivalent towards tattoos. Nobody really cares that much anymore. What I mean by that is, I told them to keep in mind that they people hiring me now, are people that are my age maybe a decade older and that generation doesn't really care that much about whether or not you have a tattooed forearm, but more so whether or not you interview well, how tolerable your personality will be in their workspace, and if you can properly do your job. And if I was single? Heck yeah I'd still put my tattoos on display. Because if you wouldn't like me simply based on my tattoos, PLEASE don't ask me out or talk to me because you aren't worth my time and energy and there would be someone else way more deserving of my company. But luckily my hubby AND my little boy are super supportive :) He always says "Mommy, I LOVE your roses" 😻🤗

[@srvancorven]

Beautiful! Now, 3 years after you posted this; how does your family feel about your tattoos now?

[@miriam7872]

My best friends mother yelled at her when she came home with ear-length hair. Told her what a disgrace she was looking so "unfeminine". I think she would honestly disown her for something like a tattoo.. MAN do I hate those people. And that was only hair?? It like.. grows back?? Even if she doesn't think it looks that good, she could have said so nicely and let her be. But she kept making fun of her to the point of making her cry. Why do such people even have kids?

[@titemopunk]

Miriam Wei Ask my mother who liked to call me by names just because I wasn't cleaning the house enough, while I was in depression. They think they know and are right on everything because of being "older" than you, they can't understand that your opinions on life have as much values(and sometimes more) as their opinions. They react as if you would be 5 years old.

[@miriam7872]

I am in that sense very lucky. My mum's a bit odd and all, but she respects my decisions and is very supportive. Sometimes we scream at each other because of stupid shit but we both cry and hug afterwards. In my oppinion, that's how it SHOULD be. Letting your kid be a PERSON, not a thing you can controll and posess. I have friends that were always picked on, screamed at and if they ever talked back they would just get more screams or simply beaten. I cannot fathom how you could do such a thing to your child. I mean, You wouldn't do this to your friend, your mum, your partner or your sister, so why to the human YOU decided to raise? And then they wonder: "Why do you never tell me anything??" "Why did you meet him seecretly?" "Why are you lying to me?".

[@titemopunk]

Miriam Wei My mother never huged me or anything. She tried once and it felt so weird... She is my mother because of getting me born but it end there. And she is like that with my father as well, if he need to go the hospital then he goes by himself she's not going to move anywhere. There is people who really don't give a shit about others's feelings in general.

[@miriam7872]

It's really sad that it's like this for a lot of kid's these days. I mean, psychology and pedagoy/("educational science"?) showed so many times that being supportive but not helicopter-parent like makes life easier for your child. And that family bullying or simply not being able to talk to someone can lead to a lot of problems later on. (That friend I talked about was so mentally unwell that she was at the hospital for a week.. And her mother still didn't want her to go to therapy.) It may sound weird but there's a book I'd like to recommend to you. I've heard from a few therapists that it helped a lot of people with unsupportive mothers understand their past. It's called "The Emotionally Absent Mother" by Jasmin Lee Cori. I suggest you read a few reviews and decide if it's for you. :)

[@titemopunk]

Miriam Wei I would look into it thank you. I think it's because so many women want children because they think they would be happier with them, but they don't have maternal instinct. People and even society makes women think everyone can be a mom without having to learn anything. No one get a dog for the sake of having one, without any research at all, but women get babys just to say they are moms without thinking about everything it takes to educate a child well.

[@corinaovejero5819]

Guess what...my boyfriend doesn't like tattoos, but he still gets excited for me every time I get one and tells me I'm the most beautiful out there. He's a keeper 💕

[@corinaovejero5819]

BTW love the thumbnail 😂

[@xtena2031]

Corina Ovejero That's really nice of him

[@hufdsnhf]

That's sweet. Good for you two.

[@AllyRose24]

Corina Ovejero true love is when they get all excited about a thing that they don’t normally like because you are an exception

[@CuddleFish124]

For that last person my cousin’s friend had the exact same problem with the nose piercing. The mother was so distraught saying she would never find a man now, but jokes on her because she found a very nice WOMAN instead XD

[@antonioaltier5224]

AnimeGirl1249 fucking amazing😂

[@Chrisstinnaa]

I just wanna say that your answer to the first question (the albino) was so beautiful and sweet.

[@mahashah6734]

Christina B it was fucking racist

[@kendraklopfenstein5350]

Christina B no it was honest she just said the facts it's not her fault how ink works she never said that tattoos on dark skin didn't look good

[@Chrisstinnaa]

How is it racist? Albinos are in all races. There's even albino African natives. I was just commenting how she worded her answer to someone who is probably self conscious about the fairness of their skin was really great. I'm sure Katrin would be just as eloquent in answering someone's question about their dark skin and being tattooed

[@wii3willRule]

@kendraklopfenstein @Christina B @Favilla Morty I think Maha Shah saw Katrin's comments as racist because her comments elevated fair skin above other tones, and that can certainly come off as racist (or colorist, at least). Yes, the person asking was albino and anyone anywhere can be albino, but to elevate fair skin above others can come off as racist because it can make non-albino non-Whites feel like their dark skin isn't as good. It may be the case that dark skin really isn't as ideal as light skin for tattoos, but still, a person can't just say anything in anyway they want and get away with it because it's "honest"; that's not a good attitude to have at all (I'm especially referring to kendraklopfenstein's comment here). For example, if an old lady is wearing a dress and she looks ugly to you in it due to her withered form, are you really going to rub that in or even tell her that this is the case? Having a basic sense of compassion for others is what matters here. I'm not saying that truths should never be told if they have the chance to emotionally harm, but you can say the truth in a way that is sensitive to those that may be harmed by it. Let's not be callous here.

[@Lamby495]

wii3willRule nah it’s not racist you’re just sensitive. Dark skinned folks are aware of this and don’t give two shits they get the tats they want. Doesn’t change that fact that some colors don’t stay they same on their skin

[@grayblackhelm6468]

The body is a temple. What kind of temple goes without stained glass or gilded rows? This mother reads as narcissistic and potentially abusive.

[@isthecarpetcomfortable9410]

Beautiful grafitti! What people do their bodies is no ones business, and they should not be shamed for it.

[@hufdsnhf]

Gray Blackhelm this is one of my favorite things I've ever read regarding tattoos. Thank you.

[@theoneandonly3388]

when my aunt saw my tattoo she flipped and said that her daughter's husband had told her one of the main reasons that he was attracted to her was that she had no tattoos??? and that her daughter (my cousin) had THANKED her for not allowing her to get tattoos. 😒😒😒😒 yeah I wouldn't wanna be with a dude like that anyways so jokes on her.

[@laurenedmunds4174]

cloudy days That's fucking insane

[@Elektron_]

It's like North Korea citizens thanking their government for denying them their freedom, It's twisted

[@beastofbussycreek]

Fuck that, find someone who loves you for you. You'll be way happier that way

[@Ellemphriem]

I think someone is slightly jealous of your independent nature. Don't shape your life around what your parents/partner or whoever else expect from you. It's short, it can become quite a ride and it is YOURS...live it to the fullest with your own rules. I am a 43 year old mom, my daughter is 9 years old and I have tattoos ;)

[@jennawinchester5729]

I think that's just a weird/horrible thing to say to ur significant other "one of the main reasons I like you is bc you don't have tattoos" eek

[@carlingnugent]

After i got tattoos (at 30!!!) My mother stopped talking to me. She said it was becuase she was so upset that id made myself "so ugly". After a few months she came round and we're totally fine again. Basically, i let her know that it was her choice and her loss, and she realized i would simply go on living happily without her. So, she sucked it up.

[@carlingnugent]

My husband thinks tattoos look awesome on women 😎

[@lillyancruz9530]

When I got my first tattoo I was 23, had just traveled through all of Central America by myself, had lived on my own for five years, had not needed my father's approval for anything and had come to terms with who I was as a person. All of that being said, when my father (who was never really much of a loving father to me) saw my tattoo, he did not speak to me for a month... not even on my birthday! I also came back from Costa Rica with my nose pierced and he legit asked me "What did you do to your face?" He has also always said to me that a guy would never like me because of my curly hair and overall appearance. I do not answer to him. I am an adult and I can make my own decisions. We, as women are not put here on earth just for men's skewed pleasure!

[@melissamariee710]

As if your mom being mad would make all your tattoos disappear 😆 love it

[@ernanijunior7963]

Respect is the keyword in every kind of relationships. Being a mother doesn't make her the owner of her daughter. Everyone has to earn respect from others and vice-versa. What parents have to do is give orientation, support, love, and understanding.

[@tombambo9435]

As a guy, I never experienced anyone telling me not to get a tattoo just because I might look less attractive and I see so many stories of girls whose parents and others tell them to be worried about that kind of thing. That's so wild, like what? Tattoos are ART, and everyone should have the autonomy to decide whether they want tattoos or not. It's so upsetting

[@EmilyMarrs]

My mom did the same thing. She encourages my brother to get a tattoo if he wants it but cries and makes me feel bad when I get more tattoos and says she doesn't like tattoos on females 😞

[@TooHooWrong]

Emily Marrs I have the opposite problem. Mother is super supportive, father wouldn't even allow me to draw on my arm in high school

[@grayblackhelm6468]

Gary Walker Tattoo has a tradition in the Warrior caste. It’s not about attractiveness.

[@nigelmulliniz4021]

I absolutely hate people like that.

[@veronica.theswamphag]

Shes not trying to be harmful to you, it's just her old fashioned values, which is okay. Just be patient, I'm sure she'll come around eventually

[@22stereolove]

Katrin, if more people in the world were like you it definitely would be a better place! You accept people for themselves and that's what this world really needs! Good for you!😊

[@shakespeareangeek]

To the person that asked about Japan specifically (hopefully you see this), I think there is a traditional bath house that does allow people with tattoos. I don't recall what it's called, but check out the channel "Simon and Martina" (used to be "Eat Your Kimchi") because I think they mention it in a video. Also, they live in Japan and each have visible arm tattoos, so they've talked about that experience a lot! Hope that helps!

[@TJWillis13]

Sara Lyons Yep! And as Japan comes closer and closer to hosting the coming Olympics in 2020, there are more places that are opening up to people who have tattoos. Just like how it's a heavily cash-based culture, but more places are accepting credit cards - businesses are anticipating an influx of trade from travelers and they're preparing their systems and mindsets to be more accepting of foreign quirks.

[@martakwasniewskadoesart]

I had (still have, I suppose?) a similar situation to the person in the last question. My mum doesn't like tattoos on women, and generally thinks they look better without them (or if they have them, for them to be at least 'small', 'easily hidden' 'feminine' - her thoughts on an okay tattoo for women is like, name if their child or a little vine swirl thing). She thinks it's because people in general won't like you as much, will judge you for tattoos and you won't get a job. Here's the thing: I have 3 tattoos now. Admittedly I still chickened out of highly visible tattoos, purely because of the job front (still at university, we will see where my career will take me), but I have them. My mum hates them. I have my sternum and ribs done, and I waited a year since the second tattoo to tell her. I've had tattoos for over 2 years before I finally told my mum. The latest one is only two weeks old, and when I returned with it, she said I ruined myself. It's a thigh piece, done to an extremely professional level, and it's big. Mum thinks I'm stupid for doing it - "how are you going to wear skirts now", "why would you pay so much money for someone to ruin your skin". She hasn't stopped talking to me though. She said what she was gonna say and then went "I suppose nothing can be done now" and that was that. I know she gives me disapproving looks when I wear shorts, but honestly, I was shocked she was so okay with it considering how opinionated she is. I suppose my advice to the person who asked the question, if you're reading this, - not every tattoo you can get, your mum will see. There are places your mother won't see for a long time, unless you spend a lot of time on the beach with her or something. Also, I suggest talking to your dad - he has tattoos, tell him what's been going on. See if he can at least get your mum to talk about it with him, if she avoids talking about tattoos with you. Or I guess, end all be all, tell her your body is not created for the enjoyment of men and the way you look is for yourselves and not for them. Then get all the tattoos you want.

[@marilyndemontreal4904]

I can relate so much! I'm in the exact same situation with my mother! She hasn't seen the 4th tattoo I got last year, but I'm still afraid she will... yet I'm about to turn 29! My friends think it's so stupid to care so much about my mothers feelings and saying, but I hate to make her feel bad! I want a 5th tattoo, but it will be visible and I'm afraid to hurt her feelings... What's funny now is that the «how will you get a job» argument cannot even fit anymore because I'm already a French Literature College Teacher and I cannot get fired for my physical appearance! (First thing I did when I got to teach my own class was getting a septum ring... I guess I'm kind of a rebel, hihi!)

[@Luciiqaa]

Marilyn de Montréal OMG I can't stop laughing. That's exactly what I'm waiting for... I'm studying to be a special ed teacher and I always say when I get a guaranteed job I'm going all in because they can't fire me because of my appearence. Now I only have less visible tattoos... and also my mother hates tattoos and I'm afraid to show her the 4th one...so I guess I'm wearing longer pants around her this summer 😂. She always criticizes my choices when it comes to money and tattoos are a waste of money to her.

[@sakura.stormborn.3399]

the way you said "oh, what a lovely mother" is just precious haha😂

[@Charlie-ql1wi]

the last question really related to me, and the answer helped me a lot. i think the mother's behavior is very childish and is just threatening to be able to control and conform her child to her beliefs.

[@sweetyetunrefined9335]

My ex's family was super judgmental of my tattoos (I have 2, and they aren't that big). His one uncle saw mine and immediately asked if my then-BF if he planned on getting any. He said no, and his uncle's response was "Good. Keep your skin clean." Like seriously?! I bathe regularly, thank you very much, my skin as just as clean as anyone else's... My current BF's family is also super-conservative, but because they know me, they see my tattoos as part of my personality, and they *like* them.

[@ka-tet1971]

When I confronted my mom about why she threw a fit when I got my tattoo but didn't when my brother got one she flat out said it was because I'm a girl.

[@kaitikai9603]

Ka-tet 19 i talked to my mum about planning out a sleeve and she said she would kick me out of I did. Well better start packing.

[@dettymakesart]

Goooodddd. I was 19 when I got my first, it was small too, mom was a pain in the ass about it, she immediately sent me to my dad to show him "WhAt IvE dOnE" and my dad was like "yeah, good for you" 😂😂😂 he's the coolest ever. Now I'm 23, living in a different country, I got 5 more tattoos including a half sleeve. She didn't see them yet but hopefully she grew enough as a person to choose me over her opinions.

[@Systemfrik]

It makes me so uncomfortable that parents disown their children because they think they look less attractive/pretty. Boggles my mind. Parents should think their children are the most beautiful beings ever no matter what they look like.

[@shaney215]

About that colors look more vibrant on "light" skin is true, I'm Puerto Rican and have latte colored skin, I'm working on my sleeve and realized that statement that you said about white skin has more vibrancy with colors but I say fuck it, it's still beautiful on me.

[@jetvanroekel]

shaney215 i don't think she meant this as an insult to your type of skin? it's just reality that it's easier to make color appear more vibrant ?

[@shaney215]

jet van roekel oh no, I totally get it. when I hear a statement like that from others I find it more of a "you need to fit into a certain mold to fit in" kind of statement. It's like being called out because you don't look as good in a type of dress because "it's not for you". That's what I meant by my statement. In reality, everyone is beautiful and we shouldn't be forced to fit into unrealistic molds.

[@miettehancox9762]

I hope it turns out like you hope! Just because the colours aren't as vibrant as on an albino it doesn't mean your tattoos won't look as good, good luck!

[@Itsachapel]

shaney215 It wasn't a mold? She was talking about an albino! Who literally has a worse time fitting into any mold. Plus, a color would look more vibrant again that kind of white. It's a fact.

[@stepmothercity]

Meh part of the reason I’ve held off on tattoos is because I’m ridiculously fair and think it could stick out and look tacky. I just think darker skin meshes better with tattoos. It’s a matter of personal taste. I don’t think there’s a consensus of who looks better with whatever. She was just talking about the vibrancy of color showing up more on white...which is a fact. But vibrancy isn’t better to everyone. I’d feel like a clown with bright color.

[@victoriam6089]

My mom is (almost) the exact same way. My father and all my brothers have tattoos, but as soon as I got mine she would make ugly faces at them and literally call my tattoos disgusting. Even though it hurts me for my mom to act that way towards my tattoos, I respect her opinions and I will continue to get my tattoos BUT I always cover them up around my mom to avoid awkward stares and comments

[@emmaw.8176]

My dad is kind of like the person in the last question. Whenever I bring up wanting a tattoo he gets all disapproving and whatever. I find it pretty hypocritical though considering he has over ten himself. Like really? You're allowed to express yourself but I'm not? Cool.

[@angiejackson9729]

I first got tattooed when I was 14, fortunately supported by my parents (even though they don't like tattoos themselves). And soon the teachers at school found out and one of them STATED that my parents were getting divorced and I only had tattooed to get their attention as a scream for help, because I was going through such a rough time........ Damn, I didn't know my life was so bad. 😂

[@oxy_mwro]

Angie Jackson I dyed my hair a bright blood red in high school and a teacher said that people with hair colored in crazy colors like green blue or red (entire class is staring at me) obviously come from broken homes and are screaming for attention.

[@antonioaltier5224]

What did you get?

[@v710k]

Ramona sounds like a fucked up teacher. I would’ve reported them. I’ve had teachers get fired at my school because students stood up for themselves.

[@franciscarodrigues3629]

About your taste changing: tattos are a way to represent yourself and your inner world, your tastes might change but those first tattos will always represent yourself at that past moment. I am really looking forward to grow old and look back at my tattos as a part of my story. I have just one golden rule for myself: NEVER TATTO NAMES OF PEOPLE WHO ARE ALIVE (not like celebrities but people from your personal life) I know faaaar too many cases of people who regretted it. And also if you get a tattoo do research and spend some money. Be careful of too cheap tattoos. For me tattooing is a ritual but I understand getting spontaneous tattoos but not my thing personally. Happy tattooing everyone!

[@FixedFace]

Francisca Rodrigues you will regret it. talk to a few successful middle aged woman with tattoos, they will tell you why.

[@franciscarodrigues3629]

I believe a lot of women who are now middle aged regret maybe (again just hypothesizing) because they got a tattoo as a way to rebel or something?. Not a tattoo that represents something about them but just a spur of the moment?. But it is interesting though: I talked about people in general and you focused just on women. Interesting. I know middle aged people (women included) that have tattoos and rock them out or are discreet but don't regret it. At the moment I only have one tattoo and many MANY middle aged women admire my tattoo (including my mother who hates tattoos looks at mine and says "i really don't like tattoos but I got to say your tattoo is truly beautiful"). I planned it with time, saved money and picked a good artist whose style I admired. I dedicated myself to this. I work at an office and people know about my tattoo and no one has a problem, they have actually complimented it. I might regret it in he future, no one can possibly know. But I honestly don't think so. Still interesting how you just focused on women and only successful women(does this mean women with tattoos who don't regret it cannot possibly be successful?) and sound like you "know" I will regret it. I wouldn't be so sure of your statements.

[@jumpie1111]

To the movie leg sleeve person: I'd probably tell the artist that you want it to be a themed sleeve in the end so that he can give you advice on how big each piece should/could be to fit a certain amout of different things in it. Like you don't need to know exactly what you want but you can give a rough guess on how many movies you want to include. He can also help you to decide whether all piece should have the same size or you want some to be smaller and some bigger. So the artist knows what the final piece should look like and he can work with that knowledge. And then I would start and add piece by piece.

[@AlexiaK94]

how hard were you actually trying not to yell and scream during that last question?! 😂seriously i'm just hoping that one day people will stop judging anyone for the choices they make with their bodies.

[@mostlikelymarie]

I really like these videos a lot (and the 'dumb' tattoo questions)! They really help me form my opinion on tattoos and make me think more about the ones I want to get in the near future. Really looking forward to the next one of these!! 💞

[@SebastianSeanCrow]

12:30 on the topic of men and women having tattoos... I’m a man and unless the tattoo is ugly, makes the wearer unhappy, or is offensive/hateful, I really couldn’t care less if a woman or anyone else has tattoos. In fact, if I see a beautiful woman (or person of any gender) with beautiful art tattooed on them, I’m more likely to talk to them than if I didn’t see any tattoos on them. (I’ve a great appreciation for art and I’m an artist, so there’s that lol). I know many people of different genders who either don’t care if others have tattoos or who prefer to have partners with tattoos. So, honestly, the whole “a man won’t want you with tattoos” is not only highly fucked up, but quite inaccurate.

[@JustTunes._.]

I REALLY needed this. I could relate so much with the last question. I just recently got a small tattoo on my wrist and my parents still love me but my mom said she hopes that I don't get any more because "they look ugly on women." My dad flipped out at first too. I wanted a small tattoo on my wrist to let it be seen, but now I have to hide it from them. This made me feel good in my new inked skin and can't wait to keep getting more!

[@kaylad6283]

My dad hates tattoos on girls and loves them on guys. When I got my ankle piece he just ignored it because he couldn't see it unless I showed him but when I got my half sleeve he didn't talk to me for a week. He eventually came around and now he likes to talk about them with me; however, every time I get a new one we have to start the process of him not talking and then coming around again. The only one he loves is my raven on my thigh for whatever reason. That one he didn't have a "problem" with but he threatened to kick me out if I got anymore body modifications done. My experiences could differ from the person in the last question but I agree with you, Kat! I would rather be myself than continue a relationship with a parent who would have it in their heart to disown me over having tattoos. I'm getting my BA, I have a steady job, a relationship I'm happy with. I could be doing worse. I don't have time for sexist opinions about what I as a women should or shouldn't do with my own body.

[@KrisVic91]

kayla dickson it's not sexist, it's an opinion. Do you know how many dating profiles of girls say "must be over 6foot" to date this?

[@huggywuggy995]

@@KrisVic91 barely. It is sexist. It's like denying racism against blacks just because whites can get attacked by another race as well. You're not the oppressed you are the oppressor.

[@QueenLuna_97]

My mother was exactly like that. Do not let that toxicity stop you from getting the tattoos and piercings you want. Being yourself is what makes you beautiful, not what's on the skin.

[@fromtheinsidex]

I totally agree with you. I think a parent should love their kids no matter what and no, giving birth doesn't make you a parent, you have to do a lot for your kid. If that parent is willing to stop talking to their kid just because something they want to do and doesn't affect the parent's life, then they deserve no respect. They are pushing you away already, why would you like to stay close to someone who doesn't want you?

[@fromtheinsidex]

faeofthesilence yes he is! ❤

[@fromtheinsidex]

faeofthesilence same ❤

[@oliviasmith7850]

A lot of American parents I realize are so harsh on their children after they turn into adults. As a young adult we lean new things about ourselves all the time. As a parent you shouldn't be having a raging fit when their children do something new or make a decision. I have a friend who is 20 whose mother thinks she is a child and an idiot and has no respect for her. I wish she would get a tattoo so we dont to speak to her mother again #notmycallthough

[@blairbug]

To the person that is albino: Before Katrin even had a chance to say it, in my head I thought "everything would look better ok albino skin in terms of tattoos" So don't be afraid of getting any color :)

[@jewel2318]

Ugh, I can't fucking stand it when people are like "but what if your future husband won't like it?", like I give a fuck? It's on my body! I also always hear the same thing when it comes to children, people tell me "but what if your partner wants kids?" and I always wonder, do these people really think I'm not worthy enough of living an independent life for myself? Am I supposed to live my life for men?? No thanks and goodbye

[@Ayaforshort]

Preach.. At 24 I still have to remind my mother that she has no right to speak to me in an abusive way. Like I have to tell her that she can't call me names, and make mean remarks about my appearance, or curse me out. She's a trip. She'll get all sad and sorry so that I will speak to her again and then the second she doesn't get her way she goes in on me like a real housewife of Atlanta. I tell her that she has no right to speak to me that way and she responds with some version of: I'm your mother, you can't tell me how to speak to you. Not every mother is a good one, any asshole can have kids so idk why the title of mother means that I have to like them as a person.

[@willowdrew1999]

Also I had a bf and he wasn't big on tattoos, but he always told me "I don't own you, you can do whatever you want with your body and you'll still be pretty to me." So if you're bf has a problem dump him and find a new one😉

[@kansaika]

Oi! About not being admitted into bath houses in Japan if you have tattoos: it's not EVERY bath house. MOST bath houses that allow foreigners don't have a rule against tattoos. Yes, there are bath houses that will post "no tattoos", but there are SO MANY that don't that it won't matter. (Trust me, I have 6 tattoos and lived in Japan for six months and visited many a bath house).

[@Katrinberndt]

+Cara Joy haha okay okay! Calm the tits! I've only heard of people being denied. Strange that they'd pick the ones where they aren't allowed.

[@DiamondInTheRough07]

if you're going to disown your own flesh and blood over a bit of ink then you clearly don't love her unconditionally like a parent should, she just wants to have a doll that she can mould into what she wants, not a daughter that expresses herself.

[@Paykwee]

My parents used to do the same thing where they would say horrible things about tattoos and piercings, but once I decided it was what I wanted and got my nose pierced and my first tattoo, they realized it changed nothing. I'm still their daughter and even tho they don't agree with my body choices, they still support and love me unconditionally. They lived a different generation and things that were taboo then are accepted now. It's sometimes hard for them to understand that change is good.

[@GTOboi211]

I'm seriously impressed with how calm and cool your answer was on that last one. I probably would have been cursing quite a bit more.

[@Katrinberndt]

+GTOboi211 hehe thank editing for that

[@samantha3929]

I don't know why I love watching Katrin's videos so much. I would personally never get a tattoo myself, but I love them on other people and definitely respect the art that it is. Her videos are so interesting and addicting!

[@Mega0003000]

Katrin, is one of those girls in school that every guy wants to take to Prom... But she's so intimidating and pretty that no one ends up asking her 😭

[@Katrinberndt]

+Mega0003000 Hahah I went to prom with my friend. It was the most boring day of my life. (Not because of my friend, because of prom.)

[@carlyferdinand9061]

I think a common misconception is that your tattoos have to have some deep and profound meaning. Sometimes art is just..something we like to look at! Much love and peace fellow tatted youtuber!

[@kattenbecka6560]

My grandfather didn't speak to my mother for two weeks after she got her first tattoo, but he obviously got over it! He still loved his daughter, and he realized that a little bit of ink under her skin wouldn't change who she is, or their bond as father and daughter. And back when my mom got her tattoo it wasn't common AT ALL for women to have tattoos! The scene was pretty much completely dominated by men, and it was pretty rare to see women with tattoos (at least in the area of Sweden were my mother grew up and the places she travelled to in the 80's) so the whole concept was very foreign to both of my grandparents, especially to my grandfather.

[@michellecarolina9006]

I have been questioning myself if I should actually get a tattoo or not because my mother said she would cut any contact with me if I got any tattoos at all and after watching your opinion on the last question it actually reassures me that I'm not just being a bad child for wanting what I want. I really want a tattoo and to be able to express myself with tattoos whether any person thinks that I won't look beautiful anymore and I 100% think any person should earn the respect from another person, no matter who it is. The subject has been bothering me for quite a while so thanks a lot for sharing your opinions on personal tattoo advice, very helpful👌🏼 Hope you have a lovely day!💜

[@sofia.morenska]

Your tattoos suit you so well!

[@Grinch7105]

To the topic of parents disowning their children. I have a similar problem, not the tattoos exactly. And what you said really spoke to me. Thank you for these advice videos they help me so much to hear someone else who has the same opinion or can relate. Thank you so much 🖤

[@gazerockerzavii]

To the girl, who goes to Japan and to everybody who has tattoos and ever wants to visit that country. I had the same struggles as the girl... I got my back tattooed (my first one) months before my first trip to Tokyo. It was in this year, so the experience is pretty fresh... Since you are a foreigner they will not really give an eye if you have a tattoo or not. I was allowed to enter all the pubs, bars, nightclubs I wanted to go.. However one night I was invited by a couple of guys who also had tattoos, and since I am pretty sure they were the member of the yakuza I kindly rejected them. They were nice and understanding. No other issues to report. The thing is true with the swimming pools, onsens, beaches etc. You are not allowed to go with tattoos to most of these places, but there are exceptions. You can always find onsens which are open for tattooed people. (I can recommend Hoshiinoyado in Nikko, aprox. 1,5 hours by train from Tokyo, you can have tattoos, even if you cant cover it. Not the cheapest one tho.) What i wanted to say basically is that japan is changing, and their attitude towards tourists are not as harsh as they would criticize an other japanese person when it comes to tattoos.

[@itscinna5540]

I'm 100% with you on the last question. I'm getting my first tattoo in probably 2 months and I know my dad probably won't like it, my mom might laugh and go "really?" but they'll get over it eventually. Thankfully they're not THAT old fashioned lol

[@lz950]

my mom grew up in a very traditional home and time period where men is above women and all that shit , she dislikes tattoos but she's never discriminate people because of it. she only told me and my sisters not to get them and if we really want to we have to wait until we're 20. i came home one day with a tattoo at 17 and i made her mad and she cried. but then we all cried and promise to love and understand each other more . my mom was very very very traditionally brought up and to see her change so much because of my open-mindedness and willingness to try different things and challenge traditional upbringing and judgements made me realise how fortunate i am to have a mother like her. to people who don't have a supportive parent or even a parent, im so so sorry but please know that you can get support and love from people whos not related to you. you dont have to depend on the people who would judge you and deny you of you just to be in their lives. you have to get out of that toxic envirinment and live your own life and then people of your own world will come to you. all love.

[@Yrusama]

Katrin Berndt, I am an instant fan! I have been seriously considering my first tattoo. I've had ideas for almost 10 years, but I've finally put more thought into it. Your videos have been very encouraging and informative, and you're a likeable presenter as well. 10/10 will share.

[@philtrash2890]

My mom says that I'll make men run away if I get tattoos. Mother, I am a lesbian.

[@hufdsnhf]

As I watch more of your videos, I'm really beginning to put more value and appreciation into your opinions and the advice you give. You're very down to earth, and I respect that.

[@rapidpeach]

Thank you so much for the leg advice, Kat!! (: I think I'll be getting my 2nd movie-inspired tattoo this October and I'll work from there. Also, in other news, wow. I can't believe that a parent would make a stupid threat like this over something like tattoos. And I completely agree that parents are not entitled to be able to control everything about their children's lives. If my parents EVER said something to me like "You'll never find a man if you have tattoos" (I'm married, but whatever) or "Women don't look feminine with tattoos", I would cut ties with them or at least not be upset if they cut ties with me.. I deserve respect.

[@berenicejimenezgarcia7275]

I agree so much with you on that last question, yet the person asking that question clearly doesn't see it that way.. so I would say, wait until you live in your own place, and get tattoo's that are not visible, for example on the side of your upper leg etc. And just don't tell your mom. If you don't live together, she doesn't get to see them and you can keep your relationship intact.

[@MsLucidDreaming]

even when living in the same space it is possible to avoid showing tattoos. i have one on each of my feet and have managed to hide them from my mom for quite a while now (she's not nearly as bad as that mom, but my tattoos do make her ~sad~ and i didn't feel like being silently judged for getting a tattoo yet again). i'm getting a tattoo on my thigh soon and i'm definitely going to hide that one from her as well.

[@berenicejimenezgarcia7275]

it's possible, but if it's for their own safety it's maybe better to wait until they don't live under the same roof. I sadly know some people that would be put on the street if they got tattoos. If you have your own space atleast you don't have that risk. Some parents are just aweful... 😢

[@Katrinberndt]

Despite lies and covering things and doing it behind people's backs, you're still being judged and not accepted for who you are... I can't see why you'd want a relationship with someone like that.

[@GTOboi211]

If you are going to be ashamed of your tattoos, than you might as well not get them. You either get them, because it's your decision to do it, or if you are too worried about how others feel than don't.

[@berenicejimenezgarcia7275]

Katrin Berndt they said that their mom was a good parent besides all of that judgemental crap and that can be the reason. If she has payed the bills, put food on the table, supported her child on more "important" things like school and work, provided a safe home environment etc. I can see why they would not want to throw that all away just because their mom is sexist and judgemental about body modifications. Yes, some of us would cut the ties, but some people value the concept of "family" more than the concept of "mutual respect". that's just the way it is

[@VacantSeance]

I have scars on my arm from past self-harm, and I really want to get a tattoo to cover some of them. I'm 26 years old, and my mom is similar to the mother in the last question. She said it would make me ugly, and she believes tattoos represent someone who is "wild". I am going to do it anyway when I have money, especially since my brother in law has a friend who does tattoos. I am just worried at her reaction since I am stuck living with her for awhile until I find a place to live. I love what you said about parents, and how they should respect children. I have to hide a lot of myself from my parents because of how they react and treat me if they believe I am wrong in some way. I've had many fights with my mom over my hair colour, and if I cut my hair short. I lost count on how many times she told me I am ugly.

[@BrittBeastly]

Kat I'm so glad you made this video, I could not agree more with your opinion on that last question about the mom. Everything you said is 100% what I believe but I've never been able to articulate it so well. Now I have a great way to respond to all my family members who feel similarly, so thank you!

[@galisatsuki]

You have such a good head on your shoulders. Your response to that last question was very powerful. One would hope that parents will love their children no matter what (excluding heinous crimes). Hopefully things will work out for that person. In the end, family (especially one that doesn't accept you and treats you badly) is not everything.

[@Bfkfjkfk-ne6cr]

I can so deeply agree to your answer to the last question. I've experienced something like the writer of the question but can absolutely agree with you as I decided to get a tattoo anyway and live my life as i want

[@ellefit5564]

“We have to be fuckable for men otherwise our lives will be pointless” lmao 😂 that is so me and my attitude 🤣 bravo 👏🏻

[@kimcarlson3980]

Preach! I've loved your videos for a long time now and this was perfect. What you said at the end is what i tried to explain to so many people for years. Parents dont deserve contact just because they birthed you they need to earn your respect and trust. You are amazing. Keep posting these wonderful videos!

[@adrianab.6085]

I agree, when I got my first tattoo my mom freaked out and said things to me no parent should say to their child, but eventually she came around and now she's ok with it. Still, I'm 100% sure she will freak out again the same way when I get my second tattoo...

[@DoeElyfer]

THANK YOU!! So many times people just blindly defent parents, especially mothers, like they magically became some heavenly flawless creature the very moment they gave birth to a human being. Its refreshing to hear an honest and strong opinion about this. I totally agree with everything. Parents are just people, too, and people can be full of shit.

[@zoemarie534]

I love what you said so much! I left home at 16 because of my abusive mother and I was told by so many people "she gave birth to you so you have to love her", "She is upset and your just being selfish for leaving (she is a narc -.-)" etc etc etc and people could not get over the fact she is and always will be toxic for me and no, just because she spat me out doesn't make her a mother, like she would tell me she would smash my skull open with a brick and leave me in the bush to rot (loving I know). this has really uplifted me to see that someone else sees eye to eye in relation. I am now living my own life and it so much brighter without her.

[@laurenedmunds4174]

Your answer to the last question is great! You should talk more about your experience when you decided to get tattoos and what your parents did

[@Katrinberndt]

It's not very dramatic at all and I've already talked about it. I moved away from home, said I was getting tattooed and they said okay haha!

[@electriclinda]

I really like your tattoo advice videos. I have been a tattoo artist for 17 years, and just started my own youtube channel. Love your videos! Learning a lot from you :) keep it up!

[@jennifercurasco9696]

These were really great answers to these questions! To girl who asked the last question: your mom sounds really toxic, or is at least exhibiting toxic behavior towards you. It's not OK for her to be threatening you like that. From my experience, people that say things like this are very manipulative and might try to control you in different aspects of your life, so I would look out for that. Live your life and do what makes you happy! I promise you'll be glad you did, even if it means cutting ties with her. And I think that like Katrin said, if you are still communicating with your dad, she might eventually want to as well.

[@SegmentswithSammy]

Why are you literally so on point with everything you say? I am sooo 100000% on your side and agree with you also on the video I recently watched about you not wanting kids, that is soo me for the most part, and how funny you are when you say some things I just laugh out loud all day watching you. Thank you !

[@taniacastro6447]

Than you Kat for making this video and to the person who asked that last question. I feel the same way as her because my mum has a very similar thought like hers, except that she just doesn't like tattoos in general and thinks they look bad and ugly either in men or women. But thanks to what you said, it make me clear things for me, I struggle sometimes thinking about that and it really affects me. I know she will understand and wouldn't care once I got them.

[@thesilenceandthemice]

How do I like this video more than once?? I loved your answer to the last message so much, thank you for that!

[@MayinaAWA]

I've gotten a bigger tattoo on my hand and have started a leg sleeve in the past couple of months, and afterwords, my mum tells me that she felt disapprovel at first, but she loves it, she even makes a photo of every new tattoo I get and shows it to people to brag how pretty it is:)) And even before, she never told me not to do it just because she doesn't like big tattoos, she just told me that she likes the little ones better, but to do what I want, and I think that's what a good parent does, supports their child no matter what. After this video, I'm even more glad to have a great mum like this:)

[@markbond2909]

I'd like to comment from a parents perspective. If my son or daughter got a tattoo my worry would only be that they would end up regretting the decision and that it would eventually make them unhappy. All I care about is their happiness. But after they got one I would never ever say anything that questions that decision or leads to the unhappiness I'm so desperate for them not to feel.

[@Katrinberndt]

Absolutely! I never criticize parents worrying about their children if their worries are legit, like yours. But telling someone not to get one 'cause it won't attract men in the future, that's just a bullshit concern. ^^

[@taranbohannon1993]

Awesome video kat!!! This last question you discussed has really hit home for me in so many ways. SO relatable.

[@catb1839]

Your advice is great! You are absolutely amazing and the way you approach a more complicated question was just perfect ❤️

[@sagalandgren84]

Asså du verkar så himla vettig, så himla trevligt att se folk som dig med dina åsikter på youtube!

[@Katrinberndt]

+saga landgren Å tack så mycket!! 🙏🏻

[@thecosmo1989]

My mum was very against (and still is) tattoos however I decided to go ahead and get tattoos without her blessing. She was angry and upset with me at first however she still loves me and has now started to respect my decision to get them as she can see that it makes me feel good about myself. I don't think she will ever be thrilled about me getting them but I know she will always stand by me no matter what. She is best best mum I could have ever asked for.

[@BlackKraya]

Totally agree with your reply to the last question. I don't get parents like that and I don't understand people who think tattoos are a gendered thing and only for men.

[@shelleypryde6454]

I love how straightforward you are!!! Thank you for always giving such great advice

[@PandorasSalvation]

awesome thumbnail btw xD

[@calhoun1968]

Yay!!! I want a Raven as well, and BRAVO to the last question. That kind of nonsensical thought is worse than foolish. Peace, Love and Light dear Kat!!!

[@OkayCake]

Thank you for your wisdom and advice! The answer to the last question was beautiful.

[@penguinsjd]

your answer to that last question is perfect. both my mum & grandmother have threatened to stop talking to me if i get tattoos/piercings, all it does is make them want to do it more. if getting tattoos meant they would stop loving me then they never loved me in the first place.

[@sunflowersandsage6226]

My mom HATES tattoos. But she would never ever threaten to cut contact with me for mine. She always raised me that no one can tell me what to do with my body, and that includes her.

[@Katrinberndt]

+Sunflowers and Sage That's how it should be!

[@fotwenty]

12:34 everyone needs to hear this part …you are soooooo awesome for this !!!!!

[@RemiSleeps.]

Parents do want to see the best of you, but in the end, a lot of it is parents wanting control they never had when they were a young adult/teen. Whether they want control because they got married early, grew up too soon, or just didn't get to rebel as a kid, I see the same shit every time. It always ends up with the parent trying to live the life they never had through their kids. My mother is emotionally immature and I haven't spoken to her in 2 years because she doesn't love me for who I am. It's sad but in the end, honestly, I don't care because I realized if people in my life don't like me for me, then I can't have any kind of relationship with that person.

[@eileahfrye-edmonds413]

I couldn’t be around someone who acted that way about me being tattooed. My family luckily is all tattooed and understand that I am immersed in tattoo culture and want to be a heavily tattooed person. Nonetheless I’m not fully aware of the situation and wish only the best to whomever asked that question. Love this video as usual Katrin. Hope you and everyone who reads this is or has had an amazing day.

[@kaylaarmitage525]

The very last question seriously hit home.. my parents tried to disown me over my tattoos (and threatened to do it for real if I get more).. this has seriously damaged whatever relationship we had.

[@karinavassiljeva6987]

I'm tattooed as well. Will get my sleeve done next month. I started getting tattoos since 17 and don't regret it. My parents and family didn't like the idea and still even now they don't like that, but they accepted it in the end as they understood they cannot change anything and do nothing about it. And I appreciate it a lot. I'm not expecting them to like what I do with my life and/or body, but I think that every parent should accept their child they way they are. We all have opinions and right to like or dislike something, but also we have a right to be accepted, especially from family side..

[@GummiBear829]

Your channel is the only channel I have post notifications on for... I love your videos and your honest style of presenting your opinions/ helpful advice! Also.. you are beautiful!

[@YaGotdamBoi]

My mom is similar and HOPY FUK I'm so tired of patents not accepting parts of their kids' persinalities. If I want tattoos, and I've planned them out and am happy about the ones I want, it's my business and my decision to make. Love me or not, imma do me.

[@NinjaBrix22]

My mother always told me I could do whatever I want and decide for myself WHEN I turn 18. I got a lot of piercings in a young age without her consent (but with my father's), and she didn't talk to me for weeks. When I then turned 18 and finally was old enough to get tattooed, she told me she would kick me out of the house if I got any.... So I did. We didn't talk for 3 weeks, I went to my boyfriends house to stay for a couple of weeks, and when we finally started talking again she told me I had betrayed her trust and was disrespectful of her. I kinda felt like I was the one being betrayed, when she just took back what she had said and changed her mind when she knew I always wanted tattoos. A couple of days after she was back to normal, and soon started talking about getting tattooed herself.... I'm now 22 and have been tattooed 17 times - my mom just gave up and we're fine :P

[@lesleyrogero6658]

My mom hates tattoo to but thats not gonna stop me I love them and they are an art form for me. I am very artistic and I view them as beautiful drawings on the skin and even is my mother doesn't see it that way she will have to deal with it. Because its my body and I'll do whatever I want with it. I'll say sorry to her because she's gonna be a bit disappointed but she will just have to accept it. I completely agree with you Kat. ❤

[@taylorrayne03]

KATRIN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I LITERALLY CANNOT EVEN FATHOM HOW GORGEOUS YOU ARE 😫😫

[@zuzamisniakiewicz]

By the last words about parents you got me even more...same satuation at my home!