Autistic Meltdowns Getting More Violent

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Two parts to this week's vlog - in part 1 I discuss Andy's latest meltdown and how they're becoming increasing violent, and how we're making no progress finding him a school. And then in a change of pace for the second half of the video, we've been sent lots of lovely Christmas cards and gifts to our PO Box! The PO Box section starts at 10:49.
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ABOUT KEVIN CHAPMAN
I'm a 38 year old KZbinr from the UK. I've got a cracking beard and I'm currently going through the autism diagnosis process. I started this channel back in 2017 and by the time I left my full-time job as a Computer Science teacher in July of that year, my partner Anna was trapped in our house by our son Andy, who is autistic and had refused to go to school for 18 months. Our daughters Lucy and Amy and our dog Dave hardly saw me because I was always working to try and solve all our problems! Today I'm a full-time content creator and always at home when the kids get home from school (all our kids!) and Anna has been able to return to university. This channel is the story of my ongoing journey! Previously known as lollujo Vlogs and The Chapman Family.
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#autism #christmas #school

[@amyyeomanss]

It absolutely breaks my heart to hear you questioning yourself Kev. It is clear from everything you do for Andy, that you’ve got nothing but his best interest at heart. I’m glad to hear your getting somewhere with the new social worker though, seems like a silver lining to this craziness. I think getting Andy into a new school will be a positive move to the light at the end of the tunnel that you all deserve so much. I’m glad the giraffe print made you smile, I saw it and thought of you. I hope that the toy story and buses made Andy smile too. Hope you’re all well and sending positivity your way as always. ☺️

[@gnome7806]

Praying everything is well for you all Kev. Strange times!

[@teesuniverse7482]

Hey Andy I work with young people with sen and I only can imagine the struggle you Anna and Andy go through daily. I had restraining training called maybo think it might be called something else now but it is actually defusing the situation but safely and keeping you all safe. I hope you do get it all sorted :)

[@tomkmb4120]

Respect to you mate, I used to work in a college for young adults with Autism and know the difficulty of those situations. Sorry you're not able to access the training you're asking for, that is frustrating. It's horrible to hear you doubting yourself and I hope that you're able to have better days and more adequate support soon.

[@False9FM]

Heartbreaking to hear Kevin and you guys are such amazing people to be able to work through this. I think its amazing you can also share the experience, both good and bad with this community, it may help you but I think it also helps others even not in the same position but with unrelated problems know that they are not alone in their struggles. Hope you can enjoy Christmas and take care of each other.

[@TraceyChurch13]

I have some suggestions that may help Andy during a meltdown. Wrapping him in a weighted blanket as it may help him to feel safe and grounded and will minimise him hurting himself and you. Also if you have a huge soft toy or pillow to act as a barrier this also helps with damage control and is a non threatening approach. You can hug him using the soft toy. Some children go into fight or flight if they think they are going to be restrained. Social stories can also help, you could make your own personalised one for him. Have you heard of NVR? It's worth looking into. I'm happy you have a supportive social worker.

[@googoogaga7986]

The first idea wouldn’t work unless they offer him the blanket instead of putting it around him themselves, sensory meltdowns make it uncomfortable to be touched or to feel some different items and textures

[@TraceyChurch13]

@@googoogaga7986 deep pressure has a calming effect for some autistics, everyone is different.

[@jasondrury8301]

Second half of vlog, felt like Cbeebies birthday card a lot LOL

[@rebeccajanesTalking2Heaven]

My 13 year old son is on the spectrum and I'm having such a hard time with it all aswell.. Iv had doors kicked off the hinges, he's put holes in his bedroom wall, punching his step dad and hitting his younger brother, I'm at my wits end... Your not alone 💙

[@obsessedwithspiderman]

@JAY HAVOC bloods gang that's child abuse.

[@bencooper4058]

@JAY HAVOC bloods gang yikes you’re in the wrong place for those nasty kinds of comments

[@hllb]

look up team teach training its amazing special needs schools use this training might help you out

[@bencooper4058]

@JAY HAVOC bloods gang grow up

[@mrchode3641]

@JAY HAVOC bloods gang fool

[@noahdron6]

Hi kev sorry to hear this but hope a womderfull Christmas despite the circumstances and stay safe

[@bigfergus9825]

Roblox....

[@WeepingWillowTree]

@@bigfergus9825 what about it?

[@kyrkdkdkdk410]

@@bigfergus9825 who really cares

[@TheEmmeey]

A padded room sounds like a good idea! Somewhere you can put him and leave him to calm down

[@ladyglittersparkle6451]

It’s very hard when a parent has to face this situation but I think you know what the next stage is. When it's becoming a risk to you guys and himself, its time to make those hard choices. In a facility, he would be safe and you would too.

[@rebeccajayne8120]

They are exploring support in the home...a facility doesn't have to be the next stage

[@Tigerlilly9779]

: : my heart breaks for what you have been through! I know first hand restraining while also trying to be safe is so difficult to experience! Does he have a regular calm down routine? My ASD child & I have a calm down routine we practice everyday when he is regulated and then I had to learn how to catch his meltdowns before they escalate by very slight changes in his energy & behavior and I check in with him before the meltdown starts and say “how are you feeling” “let’s do our calm down routine” and I tell him every single time to remember I expect him to do his calm down routine if he wants his big kid rewards” not sure if that approach works for Andy (and you probably have tried something like that I am sure) but my child is highly reward motivated so the expectation that my child will be rewarded when he can calm down before the meltdown escalates but doesn’t get big kid rewards if he chooses not to do his calm down routine was enough motivation for my child to learn how to calm himself down on his own. But trust me it took years of practice of him learning how to check in with his body, thoughts, & feeling (being self aware) and being consistent in setting that expectation and never giving in or giving up in order for it to work for us. It was a very challenging but incredible relief when he got it down. Thinking positive thoughts you all find a solution that works for you all soon! Happy Holidays! : :

[@Blaze_G4mer5408]

YOU GOT MY CHRISTMAS CARD!!!! IM ALEX THANKS SO MUCH KEVIN LOVE YOUR VIDS SEE YOU NEXT VIDEO

[@sandiriddett877]

thank you for sharing this, I know it's hard but, it helps those of us out here who are also dealing with similar issues. We wish you all the best of course. I hope our support helps you when you are feeling overwhilmed.

[@randompotato4216]

My dad drives a bus with children and special needs and one kid bites spits kicks and throws anything he still enjoys his job

[@michellejackson428]

Hi Kevin and Anna, my nearly 12 year old headbutts things (in meltdown, in frustration, as a sensory thing for many different reasons) and has done since the age of 6... I understand the uncertainty of what to do in a situation like that and trying to work out what to do for the best with regard to restraint, I have holes in my walls, he has put his head through schools tables etc its a very difficult thing to witness and try and figure out. I hope you get some support soon x

[@DannyB_7]

As someone who had just stumbled upon this channel after watching a silly amount of your FM stuff I want to say you and Anna sounds like saints with more patience that most of the world. Good luck to you guys.

[@jasondrury8301]

Kev I have a cousin who has that kinda respite she loves it, Weekly trips to McDonalds, Asda, Local Woods for walks, An Adapted kitchen set up where she can coo fir her and respite girl,

[@LuckyDucky312]

My daughter has been struggling with very similar meltdowns. She spent 9 days at a psych hospital and I regret it now but we too feel helpless. They drugged her and now we are dealing with a very sedated child. It breaks my heart. We needed help and they didn’t know how to handle her. We are currently weaning her off the new meds and pray we get a good balance. The guilt is overwhelming. My heart goes out to you. Take care

[@thebestwillow]

Dear Andy, I'm so sorry you had such a hard time on Monday. I hope you know your mummy and daddy love you, and that they are trying to make life as easy on you as it can be, and to keep you safe. Try to get lots of rest - you're probably very very tired. When I had big violent meltdowns they made me very tired for a lot of time afterwards. Be kind to your mummy and daddy. They are sad. I hope you feel better soon. Xx

[@adamburton3012]

Sorry wrong comment didn’t mean to reply to you

[@baileyhaggan4]

Nice Suit Kevvo And When KZbin Went Down It Was Hard For Me So I Went Upstairs And Put A Movie On Netflix And Waited Until KZbin Came Back On I Have Autism Too Kev And It's Hard For Me To Do Things In This Lockdown But Didn't Have Many Meltdowns During Lockdown And I Used A Rubik's Cube To Calm Me Down When I Feel Stressed

[@lauramallinder3201]

This is heart breaking to hear. My heart goes out to you all. You shouldn't question yourself kev. You are doing the best you can. You aren't letting andy down but the system is. Social services and everyone else needs to pull their fingers out and get you all the help you need. Big hugs to you all. You and Anna are doing an amazing job xxx

[@thebestwillow]

IMPORTANT: keV, I've sent you a DM on Instagram (my username is rooted_willow) because my partner and I thought of something that may help with Andy's violent meltdowns, but it's a bit delicate, so I don't want to say in public. Please give it a read. X

[@billythegoat5000]

Much love to you and your family. I'm a single father (38) with an autistic girl (7). She has meltdowns. I find getting her to switch tracks in her mind if possible can help (basically a distraction tactic). Also meditation to reduce anxiety/stress; slow things down, breathing exercises, scents and such. Thank you for sharing your experiences, you're an inspiration!

[@BradleyTheNo1Champion4variety]

Life has been very tricky for most, it must of taken Andy a while to get used to the new change of life and explaining to him about covid is a deadly virus and have had to go into a lockdown to slow the spread.

[@owend9050]

love the suit kev

[@Ottilie2306]

Because I’m autistic and I’m 14 when the WiFi goes down at my house I begin to get a little bit angry and upset

[@aidan3525]

@EVA BELLI I suggest tweaking that little brain of yours to understanding that he was trying to be relatable, not being mean, trying to help by being relatable. Assuming that you have a common sense, but I wouldn't doubt it, you like fortnite lol. Next time think before you say, it'll benefit you in the long run.

[@notleco7147]

Is it not possible for him to continue going to the old respite place?

[@ehsbe1056]

You don't need to beat yourself up about this kev, i know its a crappy sitauation but its clear youd give your all for andy, you're doing the absolute best you can and i hope you get the training you need to keep andy safe, i wish you and your family the absolute best this christmas and hopefully andy has the great christmas he deserves, we're all behind you kev!

[@fredfox1548]

I am a 1 on 1 special education teaching assistant, i work in supply so have to deal with autistic children who do not know me and can often can violent “meltdowns”. I have complete empathy for you and your son in this current world situation. I find it very effective to offer children in crisis a “way out”. A child who is high in emotion and struggling to deal with it and reacting violently will very quickly take any opportunity to get out of that situation and climb down from that high emotion crisis mode they are in. This can mean a number of things, offer him a change of room, a new game to play, a new tv show, a new toy, the list is endless. Sometimes you have to remove ur presence from the situation as ur size as an adult and power status as a carer can increase his anxiety and block his “way out”. I dont claim this to be perfect strategy but as im sure you know autism is a wonderful complex condition and one rule does not fit all

[@JohnJ1831]

I hope everyone is safe and well well

[@TheStephensonGrechFamily]

Know how u feel our 15 year old son is struggling like crazy. Been waiting 6 months for cahms

[@matthewsnowdon8530]

Im not like being fully serious this is just a stab in the dark but does skill share not have some safe handling training? Its probably not great but not great beats nothi suppose as long as its ok

[@janeelizabethdawkins4164]

So sorry to hear about andy meltdown its hard my daughter has autism and adhd very hard and challenging hope yous all have a good Christmas and stay save

[@dylanhainey5238]

I am on the spectrum... it very much helped me having a room or area with soft play toys such a balls pillows etc to hit the f*ck out of until I was in a calmer position to de-escalate the situation. Hope things clear up with you

[@jazzumbre3331]

I haven't been formally diagnose with ASD, But a psychiatrist strongly thought I was, the evaluation just didn't go though. But I have a lot of the same issues (the only difference is that I can sort of catch on when I am about to get overwhelmed , but it took a lot of practice) a calm room is a great idea

[@mollypearson4894]

I feel for you and the family a lot. I’m an adult support worker and find your channel so interesting to see more of a perspective for parents. I am team teach trained, and restrain ONLY for clients safety, ie if they are a danger to themselves or others. It is a horrible thing to have to do, especially when they are in crisis as although you’re doing the right thing you feel awful for restraining. I wish I was closer and could help! It WILL get better, you’re doing a really good job❤️

[@georgewalsom7487]

Massive love to the family Kev, you seem like such a brilliant guy and a great dad, hope you have the best Christmas possible in these weird times x

[@samuelfarris1949]

I'm sorry about this Kevin, but not too surprised about it either. As an autistic - to grudgingly accept a group term - person, I know how it feels to be like an outsider in a strange atmosphere, and with a twist like the pandemic it doesn't make that any easier. What makes it hard from my perspective is accepting who I really am deep down but left in doubt as to whether others would the same way because people appeared to side more toward being empathetic over my condition than me as a whole. However I was also born into a determined family, and that influence meant that even though I didn't always say or do the right thing at the time I was not afraid to act. My advice therefore is to not let an unfamiliar situation get the better of you; put the best needs of your family first; give your son the fair space he needs to develop. I do dearly hope to be a father one day myself, and I like the best needs of my future children to be my foremost consideration. Samuel F.

[@jessicafoulkes3669]

Keeping everything crossed for a school place soon! I work in a childrens residential home specialising in autism, challenging behaviour and acute brain injury. Best safer handling training i have ever had was 'PRICE' training. Which stands for 'protecting rights in a caring envornment'. If you can get in one of those courses i would highly recommend them. Its so informative and they go through every scenario possible. Its less about restraint, more about protecting yourself and andy from harm in a controlled manor. ❤❤

[@JakeSmith-pq5wt]

Are you in US or UK?

[@jessicafoulkes3669]

@@JakeSmith-pq5wt UK 😊

[@dixienormous13]

Aww you do look tired kev 😣 i hope you all still have a brilliant Christmas! Keep doing what your doing, you are doing a wonderful job and your a great dad 💓

[@thentherewas1167]

is he on meds and does he need them reviewing. my 17 year old has just gone on a combination to help with anxiety, depression and sleeping and after several weeks is calming down. he has also been school refusing since march lockdown and not got him back. he has a lot of energy to burn so we go out on daily walks and he has a treadmill that also helps. hope it gets better.

[@ajbrand3169]

I have special needs know how hard it can be. Hang in there

[@officialhyperman]

Keep it going Kev think about all the time you have loved and cared for him with Anna. Try your hardest he might change back into his usual self

[@Wato82]

Well done Kev and the family on doing well with Andy and hope you all have a great Christmas

[@luccaharrison7940]

Hello Kev my son has asd I’ve had the safe handling training and when I comes to head banging try placing something soft in between ..open hands no thumbs like your hands are in mits is what they teach holding hands by there side

[@BowserHasFun]

That happened to me on January 2nd, 2021 when my sister opened the door to the room where I put my cat in timeout and it really set me off. It was an extremely violent meltdown because I broke a door frame by slamming a door way too hard. It was just out of control and my whole family ended up having a rough day because of my extremely violent meltdown. After I calmed down by a percentage range of 69%-85%in that case, I fled from my house. Things are better today, but I still got some time to myself away from my family because I desperately needed it.

[@hannahrose7085]

Sorry you are having a bit of a time at the moment. I know it’s easy for me to say try not to let it get you down, but honestly it sounds like things are going to be on the up very soon.. you and Anna are amazing people and Andy and the girls are growing into just as amazing people. I hope you all have a good Christmas and a great new year xx

[@Vixen74]

I worked with Austic Adults so i know its can seem so bad i used to come home with Bruises Scratchmarks on my arms. Have you thought of making Andy a Sensory room i know where i worked we had one Its a room with soft lighting Maybe things like Stars or Animals what ever he likes that that move around the celing and Soft mats to lay on or Bean bag cushions, Also soft music like sensory Music or something like that, Even if he just spends 10 mins to 30 mins in there may just help relax him Im not saying it will stop the Meltdowns but may help a bit Hope this Helps you Stay safe and have a Merry Christmas (Debs)

[@outside8312]

It's so messed up how much of a postcode lottery the help you get is and the fact schools can just discard a child in need

[@BMarie774]

Keven, just know....Andy is so lucky to have you as his dad. That kid hit the jackpot, getting born to the mother he did. And to get to call you dad...man he’s lucky. While certain things may be getting harder, just remember, that you are a fantastic dad. To your beautiful girls, and to Andy. Andy deserves the world, and he truly did get the best mom and dad. People can say what they want, but you are and always will be his REAL dad. The man he knows as his father. The man who is there for him in all of his best moments, and even all his worst moments. But you’re THERE. And that..is everything. Andy is going to succeed in this life, no matter what that may look like for him. Because he’s got two parents who are going to ensure his happiness. And I’ve no doubt that while he may struggle, and while some tough times are ahead as he gets older, I KNOW that he’s gonna do nothing but flourish. And that’s because of you and his amazing mother.

[@ellawillams1229]

Kevin you have to always think of the safety of you and Andy. You are doing a great job dealing with this

[@charlottewainwright374]

My son is 3 he was diagnosed with autism at age 1 , we are going through a ehcp now and all has been accepted , little man is starting special school next year :) , I love watching your videos and so does my husband , we can relate to so much , thankyou so much for sharing your video , you and your wife are doing such and amazing job with Andy :)

[@tracywa6498]

So sorry things a very tough for Andy. I think you are an inspirational dad and never forget all the amazing things you do that make as a family that make such a difference.. Have a wonderful Christmas and all the very best for the new year. By the way you look very smart in your shirt tie. Keep being an amazing family 😊

[@crazycat1166]

You and Anna are doing great. I would possibly look at considering supported living for Andy where they may be able to have more than on supporter who would be able to give each other help to manage the meltdowns and have the training in challenging behaviour and safe handling. As you said before he's getting to the age where you have been planning that for the future anyway. Not in anyway saying you or Anna aren't doing brilliantly looking after Andy but I do think I'm the long run it will improve your relationship with Andy. You are Anna know best though. Take care I hope things settle down for you all soon 😊

[@mufassaabia7773]

Your a good man Kev don’t forget that You’ve always done your absolute best for Andy, I’m wishing you all well over Christmas.

[@harrywilkinson9654]

Love the transparency at the moment mate !

[@jazzumbre3331]

you are doing the best you can. Although it is usually best to leave them alone to calm down (but I can see with his self injurious behaviors that it can be difficult to do since the #1 priority is to keep him safe)

[@kennjames6725]

You’ve done everything you can Kev, shame to see videos like this I hope it can all be resolved

[@adamcrane6306]

Hello Kevin Chapman

[@richardspencer5862]

So glad I've found this chanel after watching your FM stuff. My daughter is on the spectrum highly functioning. But she masks at school and then is verbally and physically abusive to me and wife at home. I really struggle with it. Wish I was half the man you are with Andy.

[@amandacartrettewithautism6885]

I Helped My Brother, Anthony Gather The Laundry Today, Kevin Chapman.

[@aspiewithattitude3213]

As my future idea for uploads, I had saved this into one of my playlist for once the time comes that I generalise on my thoughts about "violent behaviour". It's one of the biggest issue in the autism community, since I am totally against ABA and this is one of the challenging topics for autistic rights activist to discuss. I have no opinions on violent behaviours since this is one of the biggest trivial issues that is effecting the neurodiversity and the world wide autism community.

[@charlottevicarage1331]

Kevin is totally AGAINST ABA.

[@aspiewithattitude3213]

ABA will make this situation worst.

[@EleniLee]

please don't give up on him, weighted blankets and things that can safely have his anger taken out on them will help

[@MrMrjjk3]

Hope you’re all ok, and hope Andy has a better week. Glad you liked the wax seal on my card. Happy Christmas

[@ivanjdrakov1957]

Wow, it's SOOOOO scary hey, how attached we've all become to technology! I'm absolutely amazed and stunned even that internet withdrawal can be so bad on Andy.. I really hope he can get over these times, as you can imagine that time will come again when internet will be down, maybe even for longer! I love Andy, and I hope that kid is well and doing good.. Kev, seriously hommez, you and Anna should really do something about all this if you can.. I mean Andy has to understand when internet is not available, I know it will be really difficult but, but, but.... You're a very smart man Kev, in sure that you'll figure out how to communicate well with him.. Sweet Keep well and be safe bro!

[@MsAjd1978]

You are doing an amazing job. Do not ever doubt yourself kev. If you need to restrain him, you do what you need to do. If he bruises then so be it, you’re keeping him and yourself safe. The authorities are letting him down badly. He should of had a school ready to take him. They should of made sure it was ready before you moved and then eased him into the new surroundings gently. I’m so sorry you guys are having to go through this :( xxxx

[@thebestwillow]

Ohhh, keV. I'm sorry to hear about this. Please be taking good care of yourself and Anna and Andy to the best of your ability. I'm glad you told the social worker and they took action. I hope you get the safe handling training quickly. It sounds like you did a pretty good job of restraining him relatively safely, so well done you for that! I know you probably feel very alone, but I get it, I remember how it was for everyone when I had meltdowns like that, and am praying for you. I know you don't believe in prayer, but I do and I think it's all I can do.

[@stacebrewer]

Tottenham having a good season? Spoke too soon Kev... 🤣 Hope you guys have a chilled christmas after the chaotic week

[@kimsears5265]

Bear hug from the back is the best method if you can get him on the floor, I wrap my legs around theirs and start rocking. Head butting is also hard in a bear hug, hope this works.

[@peterwatkins9850]

I have only recently come across you video uploads and watched quite a few now. In all I seen both you and Anna has shown love compassion and try to do the best by your son. My heart goes out to you both when I see you upset and can't imagine the planning that goes into your routines for a normal life. Wish you both well

[@chyannecook6065]

I am so sorry Kevin.... my heart goes out to you and the family. You are a amazing and strong man and nobody blames you for how you handle things. You are amazing don’t you forget that. Not all hero’s wear capes and you are one of those. I will continue to pray for you all and don’t be scared to do what is best for you all. Nobody has the right to judge you for that. 👍❤️💚🎄🎁

[@pennylane5355]

Go back to work outside the home overnight or something and then you and Anna stay home with home at all times - I don't think Anna working is good for Andy because he seems to take to her. Been watching y'all for years now and, of course, we don't see 90% of interactions so this is simply my opinion from what I've seen. I know she can't handle him on her own when he melts down because she's tiny and he's huge. So sorry what you all are going through. I pray andy finds something to get him through his low points.

[@RhinoYTT]

Hi Kev, sorry to hear about what's happened, hope Andy is doing better now sending messages of love and support from my family to yours, Merry christmas 👊👊

[@oliviaelliott1333]

Just an idea, is there any play/youth schemes nearby for disabled children which Andy could attend some Saturdays/school holidays?

[@laurabethxxx8579]

Hey there my family is in Houston and I found your video at random...it’s everything my husband and I would be saying about our kiddo non-verbal asd 21. He has gotten stronger and more violent as he has grown. My husband started the safety hold by restraining him until he calms down. It’s been a god-send. Not only does it keep him from hurting himself but he tends to break things upon the start of a meltdown so we don’t want him to step in anything broken. On the parental front know that you’re not alone You are NOT a bad parent I know in the moment your heart breaks but you and your wife are AWESOME parents hang in there. I don’t know what’s available in your area but I have no doubt you will find what’s best for your family. ASD PARENTS are fierce. Take care and I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday

[@TheRojo387]

You did the wrong thing, Kev. Now you have folks pressuring you into impersonating a policeman. Which is very much against the law.

[@tiaevans3864]

Hi kevin sorry to here things are so bad at the moment hope you have a lovely christmas and dont defeate yourself your doing your best to protect Andy Anna and yourself im sure Anna has no dout you did the right thing your an awsome guy with a huge heart Andy will understand one day in the feature that you did what you did because you love him and was only trying to keep him safe

[@fionatrimby2208]

Sorry to hear Kev that Andy's melt downs have got bad it's hard to deal with & heart breaking that you try your very best to deal with but you will get there one day just take one step at a time I know the feeling I hope you have a good Xmas & new year 😊❤ x

[@zackaryclayton6025]

Hey Kev , We are all here behind you , hope you have a great Christmas despite the struggles over the past week or so . You and Anna are amazing parents and how you support your son is truly inspiring and any parent with a child special needs or not would commend I’m 16 years old I was diagnosed with ASD at 9 years old along with other conditions and mental health problems such as Anxiety, depression , Tourette’s and more and it’s amazing to see you as parents supporting Andy the way you do as I know I wouldn’t be where I am today without my amazing parents

[@autismmomjoy]

My autistic son has a padded bed for meltdowns and an area we take him so hes unable to self harm or harm anyone the name of the bed is the SleepSafer Blessings

[@hamishmcdog48]

Damn Kev, stopped watching FM videos but love the UK so following your vlog. Good luck. Sounds like tough times.

[@lynseylodge1419]

Don't question yourself keV your doing a brill job we found when ever you ask for help it takes ages .yet if they feel your doing things wrong there banging the door down .

[@lisalopez2740]

Kevin, I truly am heartbroken to hear about Andy. Please don’t beat yourself up. You are an amazing father. Anna & Andy are so lucky to be blessed with you. I pray you can get the proper safety training very soon. Andy clearly doesn’t know his own strength. I feel so bad for him. Hopefully the social workers will do their jobs soon. So he can get the help he definitely needs. Merry Christmas to all of you. ❤️

[@j.w2000]

www.inter-face.co.uk/team-teach here is a link to where you can get training in postitive handling for parents, this course provider is used in our borough where i am. You can have phsyical intervention if required. My parents used this course and provider for when i struggled with behavior.

[@knoxville3067]

Kevin you did the right thing in my mind (not that my opinion counts) but for me the main part of being a parent is keeping our children safe even from themselves, mind you i only have to deal with younger kids atm i still need to somewhat restrain during blow ups as mine like to try to hurt themselves as well for some reason. my point is you are a good parent! ive been watching your videos for a long time and love the work you do keep it up

[@harleynay8110]

You are an AMAZING father. You are doing everything in your power. Do not feel defeated. You aren't defeated. You hit a road bump. Andy will get there Kev. Ana... You are amazing as well. Merry Christmas you guys. I love you all. Hugs and kisses to Andy.

[@simeonyves5940]

Hello Sir. Indeed, get the negative out of the Way First. I am Sorry You have had another Major Incident with Andy having another Thermo Nuclear Meltdown. It cannot be Easy given that He is So Massively Strong now and He can easily Reach an "inconsolable" State. The Google Failure caused Me to have an absolutely *Colossal* Meltdown, so I am afraid to say, that, Unfortunately, I also became Violent on Monday, that's why I was very "out of Sorts" in Parts of My Response Last Week :( I am just Glad that Anna was not there to see what Happened. I am afraid to Say that "Random Meltdowns" are a part and Parcel of Autism, even I can have them, Especially now that "Routine" Does not Exist. One Second I will be absolutely Fine, the Next, for No Reason what so Ever, *Boom* , next thing I know its an Hour Later, My Room is Trashed, I am in Bed, Covered in, Self Inflicted, Cuts and Bruises, I am *Unable* to Talk (After a Completely "Nuclear" Blow Up I can often become "Non Verbal" for Several Hours) and My Parents are Telling Me what I had done during the Meltdown so I know why everything is in such a Mess as they Feel My Receptive Communication is back up to a Point that I will listen and Understand. Meltdowns can come at any moment, and there can be No Discernible Reason for them happening, they really can Just Happen Completely at Random! Especially when Routine is Disrupted and, well, there is *no* Routine in 2020, and 2021 looks like it is going to be the Same as it is taking *Far too Long* to Roll out the Vaccine because the Government has Refused to make it Mandatory like they Should have Done :( Yes, My Parents have had to "Slip" more than One Lock when I have gone Completely Bang and just don't want to see Anyone and I have locked Myself into a Room. I hope You get that Safe Handling Training Sir, You cannot be Doing with Andy Hurting Himself and Hurting You so badly, You need that Training Soon, so I hope You get it. Andy is So lucky to You have You Sir, because You are Loathe to Raise a Finger against Him, this is to Your Eternal Credit. I just Wish more Autistic People were Lucky enough to have Parents as Kindly towards them as You are to Andy. Yes, Andy is too likely to Elope for You to Leave a Door Unlocked. You made the Right Decision Not to Leave Andy until that Point. I am glad Anna got Andy Finally settled Down. I am Afraid to Say, and I said this Last Time, You cannot Keep Andy Safe, You do not have the Skills, So, unless You get that "Safe Restrain" Training and Fast, then Accelerating His Moving into a Residential Home is going to be the best Option! *But* , You really must do Your Research there, we all Know the Horror Stories about what can happen at some of these Homes, I wont go into them here. Remember, The Police will just Put Andy into the Nearest Home with Space, they do not have the Time nor the Power to Do anything Else, which could well end up being one of the Homes where the Horror Stories Happen, So You really must do Your Research and ensure that the Home is Safe, Suitable for Andy, and is of the Highest Possible Standard given by the Quality Cares Commission from at least Three Independent Reports, and has Exceptional Relative Reviews. Do not leave it to the Police or the Social Services alone, because they *will* just Stick Andy in the Nearest Home with Space, and that, I am afraid to Say, is when the Horror Stories Happen! I am glad the Social Workers are Finally getting their Fingers out and Are Stepping Up the Support Network, as Andy needs a lot more Help than He is getting, Poor Lamb, I just hope that the Rest of the Week went better for Him. I am Glad You are getting the Safe Restrain Training. I am Sorry You wont be able to get Overnight Respite in that County, the More Regular Respite should be Brilliant for Him However :) I hope Andy Enjoys going to Lifts and Churches with His New Carer :) I am Sorry that the School felt that they were Unable to Handle Andy. I really do Hope that You can get Andy into a Really Nice Special School Soon as that will give Him some of His Routine back and Should Calm Him down. Again, In an *Emergency* the Social Workers can Place Him into a Mainstream Secondary School with a Support Base, but they will basically have to lock Him Into the Support Base to Protect Him from the Regular Pupils. Sadly, due to how Violent Andy can get, it is very Probably going to have to be a Mainstream Secondary if they have to go the "Support Base" Route, but that really *is* a Last Resort! so Hopefully they and You can get a Special School Place for Him before it Gets to that. Yes, with the Current Problems, It is *very* Difficult to give Andy the Constant 1 to 1 Support and Care that He Needs. Indeed, Fingers Crossed Andy will be Back in School after the Christmas Break. I know what Happened Last Week, Ugh, Some People! We are heading for a Societal Collapse, I just know it :( Right, now for the Positive Stuff. I hope Andy loves what He Gets from Your Nice Subscribers (Sadly, again My Parents said NO to Me Sending Him anything, a Shame, as I was going to Send Him a Forza Motorsport 7: Ultimate Edition Download Code, but, that is not going to happen Now I am Sorry to Say :( ...) , and I hope that, in Future Vlogs when (and I Mean "when", Not "if" ) Andy is Happier and more Settled and is more His Old Self as a Happy Wee Lad again, We will be able to See Him Reacting to the Things that You give Him so We can see them making Him Happy :) You have got some Lovely Fans who sent You some Great Cards and Gifts Sir! :) Scissors do a good Enough Job of Brown Paper IMO. You need to Film Andy Playing with the Light Up Bus if You Can :) He will Love that Toy! that Toy will make His Day! :) I am a Lifelong Fan of Williams, and they have been at the absolute back of the Grid since 2016. They are a Mobile Chicane and nothing More Now, Yet I *still* Support them! Because they are *My* Team dating back to the Glory Days of 1992! , Success or Failure does not really come into it. Nice of that Person to Draw some Toy Story Stuff on their Card for Andy :) Indeed, Good to see all the Presents and Cards You got Really Cheered You up! I hope You all have a Wonderful, Calm, Peaceful, and Enjoyable Christmas, Andy Especially :) Well, take care then Sir, Bye Now.

[@charlottevicarage1331]

1. While I agree with you on the vaccine being mandatory, there are people who CANNOT have it due to severe reactions to it and allergic to the ingredients. Plus, if anything was affecting shipping, it would be Brexit. 2. Why would your parents say no to sending Andy something? Assuming you're an adult, sent it to him anyway, but just don't tell them. 3. Just because some care homes had bad reps, doesn't mean all of them do.

[@simeonyves5940]

@@charlottevicarage1331 1. That is True, Not everyone can take the PFizer Vaccine due to some of its Ingredients, so hopefully the Astro-Zenica Oxford One is going to be Suitable for More People, but, true, I guess the system should be a case of "Mandatory for all that *can* take it" , I am not not sure how that would work, I am not a Politician, but something like that needs to be Done IMO to Deal with the Problem of the Utter absolute Planks who believe this is all some kind of "Far Left Wing Conspiracy" to "take away our Free will with MK Ultra Mind Control Juice" or whatever such Insanity they believe today, and refuse to be vaccinated as a Result, meaning this Horrible Virus may never go away! I don't really care on Shipping, what I care about is getting some sort of Normal Routine Back that does not Involve Snap Lockdowns, Tiers, Social Distancing, Bubbles, Masks/Visors, Traffic Light Ques, One way Systems , yatta, so I am not having up to Five Meltdowns a Week anymore! and well, the sooner Enough People are Vaccinated for "herd Immunity" to Kick in as the Virus cannot find a susceptible Host before it Dies, the Sooner that is going to Happen! I must warn You now however, in the interest of keeping things Civil, that I am 100% a "No Deal" Brexiteer, and that Topic is Guaranteed to get Me seeing Red, so, best not to Mention it. 2.Because My Parents control My Accounts! I have all the Money Sense of a Budgie! if i was in charge of My own Account I would send Myself "Into the Red" Within Minutes by Purchasing tonnes of PC Components, So they are in Control of My Accounts for My own Financial Safety, its something the Solicitors openly Advised. They are not too Strict, they are, after all, letting Me Build a PC fitted with an RTX 3090 (not that I need it now that Cyberpunk has turned out Absolutely *Broken* , which Sucks) ..and that is one *very* Expensive bit of Kit! and they do let Me buy Gifts for Friends that they have Met In Person , but their Iron Clad Rule is "No One we have Not Met in Person!" , that Affects My Ability to send a Gift. in the Case of the Xbox Download Code, I would need to Email Mr Chapman to get Andy's Account User Name, and then Purchase the Game on My Account, which needs My Parents as the Account is Charged to Mums Paypal (so i cannot even Sneak it past as Paypal Tells on You) as a "Gift" to be Sent to His Account, so, I cannot do that without Parental Permission, and they have not given it! 3. I am more than aware that the Horror Stories come from a very small Minority of Homes and that the Majority of them are absolutely Wonderful, Lovely Places, I go to a Home Myself sometimes, as My Parents are getting Increasingly unable to Look after Me due to old Age, and the Place is Wonderful! Bright, Colourful, Peaceful, right on a Big Expanse of Safe Parkland, with Caring, Dedicated and Loving Staff who are hand picked by the Bluebird Agency, I am very Happy there when I go, as are the Other "Housemates", as that is what the Staff calls us, (they think "Patients", sounds too Clinical and thus too "Scary" for some of the more heavily Developmentally Delayed Housemates, "40 going on 4" is a "Truth in Television" at times Sadly, as well I know, having a Developmental age of 10 despite a Physical Age of 34), even if they have a Strict "No Social Media" Rule, for Obvious Reasons. I am also aware that the Number of Horror Places is, thankfully, Dwindling, thanks to the Quality Cares Act, but still, when *that* Panorama Documentary Exists, it is still going to lead to Paranoia, You see, My View is, even if it is only 5% of Homes at *most* where the Terrible things Happen, it is still 5% *too Much* In My Personal Opinion, a "Miniscule Risk" is still a Risk, and one best avoided! So, even though the Horror Story Homes are a thankfully Vanishing Minority, the Fact a very small Percentage, even if its as low as only 5% , is still in Operation, makes it, IMO, Absolutely *Vital* to be 100% Certain of where a Person is Sending their Child or other Relative with the Maximum amount of Care and Research. You see, My Parents nearly fell into that Trap with Me, the First Home we looked at, as it was Closest, (we did not do Research!), was a bad One, it Stank of Wee, everywhere was Drab Brown, the Staff was Surly as all Hell, the Patients were all just Shoved in front of a Positively Ancient TV (Remember the Old Wood Bodied Ones with the Side Mounted Buttons that seemed to be In Every Single Infants School back in the Late 80s and early 90s? one of them! ) their clothes were Dirty, a Lot had Untied Shoes... it was Not a good Home, Yes, we DID raise the Alarm with the Authorities before You ask, it just shows that those Bad Homes, Sadly, still Exist. The Second Home we Looked at, the One I have gone to since, was much better, it Smelled of Home Made Spam Fritters and Chips, the Walls were Brightly Coloured and had lots of "Sensory" Textures, the Staff were Happy and Friendly, there were Sensory Toys everywhere, there was a Big Old Dolls House in the Main Hall, most of the Housemates were in the Park (although Some were watching a Movie, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang If I Recall Right (that Hilarious Scene with Gert Frobe's count Trying, and failing, to Kill off His Wife during the most Saccharine song in Musical History!) on a Giant TV. One even comes running Up to us and tells Us to "Come and Play", We knew then that was the One for Us. I know the 90-95 % Majority are like that Second Home, but the Fact ones like that First Home still Exist, even as a Tiny Fraction, IMO makes Research absolutely Vital so People do not end up even Visiting them, let alone putting their Relatives in One! I hope that Explains all My Viewpoints and why I have them , a lot Better.

[@riddhirs1555]

Just in case this comment may help anyone who reads it... I am trained in safety interventions, and I am not aware of any safe technique to restrain someone by myself. All safe techniques which I have been trained in require a minimum of two people, one on each side. So, please know you did the best you could on your own in this situation and I am sorry you had to do this ❤

[@juliebotzenhart8064]

I had to deal with the autism agression for so many years. It is so hard on the family. When my youngest was going ro college last year i knew i was no longer safe and couldnt handle the agression so i made my son move out.

[@kimalexander1593]

Awww, my heart goes out too you. Must be so hard for you, feel like you can't do right from wrong. All you can do is what you feel is right at the time. You obviously have a good insight into Andy's autistic needs and care about him. Keep doing your best and keep up the fight for getting Andy the support he needs x

[@emmadalley]

I understand what you been though and but you need some support and carers for Anthony

[@emmafeldmar2341]

Have you foght about resideral college

[@emmafeldmar2341]

He wold sleep there in the weeks and home at the weekends

[@Itzyaboiiicarlyt]

amazing video as always keep your spirits up you are doing fantastic love carl x

[@bronaghmurphy5643]

Thinking of you all and I hope you can get on the safe handling course soon so you know how to help Andy during a meltdown. Also I hope you get sorted with the school and respite.

[@p4xrf]

It’s because his anxiety is a bit higher

[@elenadelawder6913]

Hugs 4 your family Kev.

[@jackproctor3955]

Hope everything is ok now Kev

[@toniecollard752]

Love you kev and fam ,hope you have a good Christmas .

[@wandanabess4620]

Prayer for your family Kev. Prayer for Andy to overcome his meltdowns.

[@brookiebrooke3813]

Ive seen a family on youtube that like, bear hugs their autistic son, w/ his arms crossed till he regains control himself again. Or he'd bite his arms. So like w/u on a chair or couch w/him sitting on the floor between your legs. Doing the bear hug, it seems like the safest way to hold them till they get thru it. I cant see Anna being able to hold him like that, so for u i think it'd be the way so no one gets hurt.

[@AFlexibleGamer]

Watching Kev struggle to open stuff is my not so guilty pleasure