Kids soon after Marriage - Mufti Menk

[@fatma-et4yk]

Can I tell you that anytime I feel broken, I pray and turn to KZbin searching for your advice and with the help of Allah it keeps me going. With your advice am hopeful

[@nabeelahabdul3633]

Me tooo

[@salimmachila5736]

Welcome to real Islam

[@rafeeqahmaharaj8682]

gygh nijji y h6o

[@jeremiasalexzander9838]

you probably dont care at all but does someone know a trick to log back into an Instagram account?? I stupidly forgot the password. I love any tricks you can give me

[@haniya_5600]

Me too subhannallah

[@sarabeg6924]

JazakAllahu khairun to Mufti Menk ti speaking on this topic. I got married to my husband in an arranged marriage, and we lived in different states at that time. Only after our nikkah did we really get to know each other (and Alhamdulillah, I wouldn’t have had it any other way). My in laws are wonderful, but they have this mentality of having kids right after marriage, whereas I believed it was necessary to create a strong bond with my husband before bringing children into it. And subhanAllah, sometimes I would think I was abnormal for this mentality, since it was not something they could understand. But Alhamdulillah, I have been married for 3 years and have the best relationship and friendship with my spouse. Allah willing, we would love to have children in shaa Allah, but I am so glad we took this time to get to know each other and have our together time as a couple first.

[@reshmaalaudeen9822]

Awww Mashallah😍

[@Sana-bw9zx]

Did you have children now???

[@nafisnibraz5503]

So refreshing to see finally shaykhs speaking up about these modern issues.. not caring about criticism from extremists

[@SuperPrince424]

Must also talk about learning how to be an effective parent before becoming one.

[@piqueny8872]

Allah forgive but a lot of these online scholars brag about having multiple wives 9 plus babies yet they are not around absent fathers Too busy travelling the world doing “ Dawah” with there buddies having the audacity to mention wives always complaining they are married single wives raising the children alone

[@Mansurblogznani]

*ALHAMDULILLAH☝*

[@zb4941]

The truth has been spoken and veils been lifted subhanAllah

[@fatma-et4yk]

He is a genius. May Allah reward you abundantly.

[@adamseden1330]

Totally agree

[@muskaansaifi5886]

This is the best ever video . Parents in law are always excited for becoming grand parents but it's not a minor decision and this is why i say my mom that i m not ready to become a mom until 2 yrs of marriage

[@ahmedabdulghafoor2404]

I just got married and cuz of my wife n surrounding, I was in this tension. And Alhamdulillah Allah guided me through this video

[@mohammedtalha5843]

Marriage in ramadan??

[@CarpeDiem-vc3gq]

Mohammed Talha Probably not in Ramadan. Ramadan started only little more than a week ago

[@sidratahir5273]

jazakAllah..I agree totally..you are MashAllah always a source of hope and contentment through your talks and lectures

[@Javeriask]

People making me feel that delaying kids meant as that we are posing nose in Allah's work.I was confuse that maybe it's me who is wrong and it's forbidden to delay kids and take control over it, but thank you so much you have now cleared my confusion. Again JazakAllah

[@piqueny8872]

Scholar are addicted to intimacy it seems all they talk about is get married have alot do babies They don’t talk about how our prophet didn’t have children with many of his wives or the companions used birth control pull out method to not have children

[@atheekaazhar1002]

Jazakallah for the video. But other newly married couples who still don't have kids including me and my spouse would me more happy if there is a video strictly advising our so called relatives to not to poke there nose in our lives torturing us why we are delaying kids or asking whether the woman who is married is having problems in having kids. I am so fed up answering their question paper

[@riseandshine7347]

Sadly you can never escape that sister. No matter how many times you tell them directly or indirectly, it doesn't matter to them.

[@hassanchamir8459]

Just reply.. Make dua In sha Allah Our creator will hear you

[@nimrasalahuddin6015]

May Allah help you. Actually, the concept of joint family especially in the Indian subcontinent is very wrong. It is a hindu culture that has seeped into us generation through generation. And it is even more unfortunate that all ulemas are speaking about this as a catastrophy but no one is doing anything about it. Sister just remember that whatever you are suffering from now, there is a high reward from Allah. Maybe Allah wants to increase your ranks in jannah with these hardships. Find peace in the worship of Allah and even if the whole world is against you they won't be able to do anything.

[@nuzrathzee9124]

Im also having the same here

[@YouToo510]

Tell them that kids can be done at anytime but it can never be undone.

[@ayeshaa44]

mufti menk never disappoints me! Whenever he speaks about topics that are not spoken about or maybe controversial, I think "oh god, idk what he might say" and i ALWAYS agree with him. Never doubting you again :D

[@mariamhabeeb4583]

Ma shaa Allah Jazakallah hu Khair Allah apko dono jahano ki kamiyabi de Aameen 😍

[@KkKKkKKKKK709]

Subhan Allah!!! What an amzing advice! I would agree.

[@zuhraali8569]

Thank you bro. Menk! I have been a preacher of this for years after making my own mistakes! It's time it's been highlighted by our scholars! Barakallahu Feekum

[@Safiyyrh]

If you don’t mind could you please shed light on the mistakes you made? I’m soon to be married n I wanna learn

[@sameeryusuf]

Birth control is easier said than done for 2 newly married individuals who have no prior intimate experience with asexual partner. It is not an easy proposition, rather a hopeless situation for most inexperienced couples. In my experience my wife conceived only within the first week of our marriage, even before we got to know each other. It was an arranged marriage. Soon after we realised that we have major compatibility issues with each other and that we never wanted to be with each other. Alhamdullilah we have a lovely daughter but 10 years into our marriage we regret we got hooked to each other via an arrange marriage and life forced us into parenthood so early before we could come to terms with it. Now we are trapped with each other just for the sake of our child, we do not wish to break our family for her sake but we wished we got a second chance in our marriage decision. It dosent seem fair that you get sucked in to it when you are so young and have no idea about life and marriage or anything for that matter. Me and my wife, we were naive and although we had the purest intension to satisfy our religious values and also be obedient to our parents, and even though we love and welcome our child, the fact is that we deeply resent each other. Its a lesson learnt the hard way that we hope no one else has to go through. We only hope Allah make it easier for the remaining part pf our lives and accept our deeds in good faith. We sacrifice and submit for the sake of Allah! May He accept our deeds!

[@belledenuit1802]

May allah bless your marriage. You guys should try to make your relationship work as much as possible . Put some efforts in it. See it in a positive way especially if both of you are compatible. If you are always in fight . Resolve it but never argue or show an unhappy marriage in front of your child. Thats worse than a divorce . Its better to divorce than hating each other or staying with each other just for the sake of a kid. The kid will grow up having a bad picture of marriage and suffer silently . She will ultimately discover the truth behind someday if u continue living both with that intention.

[@ZaraKhan-ex3ev]

Ramadan mubarak to all my Muslims out there, for all those Muslims brothers and sisters looking to get married I pray Allah (swt) grants you good pious husband/wife and if something is bad for you then may Allah (swt) protect you from it Ameen ❤️

[@awaqar2]

Allah is probably protecting them from me 😂

[@vasanthraj1093]

All muslims abrothers means no war at Iran midle East. Afghanistan why? Never accepted as brothers history tells will repeat

[@umairsyed7465]

It’s always better to wait a while and decide for yourself before you have kids, also giving me time for each other to know the person well.

[@slovelyyx7718]

What if someone gets married at 35, no time to waste

[@benoo7156]

Best best advice to give to every newlyweds wish everybody understand it🙌🙌

[@umamashafiq5431]

Wallah I agree with him 100% and appreciate this thinking...I am happy that we have such scholars like him.. May allah protect him. Amin

[@samirasohani5496]

Story of my life is so relevant to this video. When I got married my husband pressured me to have a child, but I insisted not to hv a child at least for 6 months. It was an arranged marriage and I thought we need some time understand each other better. That was the most wise decision I hv ever made. After a month of my marriage I sarted to understand that there was something wrong about my husband. After 2 months ....it was clear to me that he was mentally ill. Later on when I went to a psychiatrist and told about every symptoms of him...I understood that my husband was a psychopath. That was the most tragic day of my life. My marriage existed only for 3 months. Bitween that time he gave me life threats 3 times. I had to divorce him. Even after 6 months of my divorce...those horrible moments of my married life hunt me.

[@aminathdhauha2042]

I'm sorry to hear that. Hope you're safe and in a much better place in life now!

[@samirasohani5496]

@@aminathdhauha2042 I am safe, happy, and a much confident person now. Thank you for ur good wishes ❤

[@pinballball5208]

Oh shukar Allah

[@izzyt9728]

Hope you’re doing well sister 💜💜May Allah bless you

[@samirasohani5496]

@@izzyt9728 Alhamdulillah. I am absolutely fine by Allah's marcy.

[@amelbachir3788]

I completely agree, I wish I heard this advice 9 years ago. I became pregnant the night of my wedding and had another kid a yer after the first one 3 years later we divorced. I was so young and had to upbring this kids by myself it was very difficult.

[@gauri6172]

🥺🥺 why you both get divorced sister?

[@hudaparvez82]

Jazak Allah khair Absolutely Right 👍👌

[@suveeraamin5100]

EXCELLENT ADVICE FOR ALL...UNFORTUNATELY THE PRESSURE OF HAVING KIDS ASAP HAPPENED TO ME RIGHT AFTER MARRIAGE...I FIRST PLANNED WITH BIRTH CONTROL BUT IT WAS DENIED ME TO USE IT AND I HAD NO CHANCE OF WAITING AS I HAD WANTED AND I WAS CHASTISED FOR MY DECISION AND HUSBANDS RESPECT YOUR WIFE'S DECISION IF SHE WANTS TO WAIT...MORAL = ALL NEWLYWED COUPLES PLEASE YOU WAIT AND DECIDE ON YOUR OWN WHEN YOU WANT TO START YOUR FAMILY WITHOUT ANY FAMILY MEANING BOTH GROOM AND BRIDE'S PARENTS' PRESSURE INTERFERENCE, WHICH MEANS IT'S OKAY TO WAIT TO HAVE KIDS, THANK YOU.

[@noorjongmans120]

The quality of our children is way more important than the quantity in my opinion

[@kledmohd4230]

Both are impt. And why not have quantity who excels in quality as well. You truly can have both, it was never a choice to begin with.

[@pinballball5208]

@@kledmohd4230 see for yourself sab se zayda phade unhe khandonon mein hotein hein jahan 10 behen bahi ho...quanity is good if you can take good care of them and i mena financially .......

[@Safiyyrh]

May Allah (ﷻ) bless you for this comment

[@CatsandAnimals213]

I love how he sepaks according to what is going on in the world right now

[@moinakbhattacharya878]

Wow, Mufti sir gave such an important message, though extremely practical and hard reality, not sure how many people have courage to call spade a spade

[@tauseefhussain3796]

Mashallah you are right that's 100 %true I think the new generation need to now as well it very important

[@noshadova]

Brother, you're absolutely right

[@marketnlinebusiness7484]

Allahuakbar. I needed to see this. 😍

[@rajajunaid9408]

100% agree...m not married but my thinking is same as Mufti...m always question to all person y we r quick to born children....quick children is only reason today millions of youngstr r not maried

[@zarqakhanum6404]

Right even i am not married and i don't want childrens

[@tahameemsultana8901]

People surrounding the couple need this advice more rather than the couple themselves. Subhanallah!!! within a month of marriage, in laws and relatives keep asking for "good news" which puts immense pressure upon the couple. The newly married couple is also mostly forced to spend all their free time socialising with extended family and the ONLY time they get is when they are tired in bed. Pregnancy and delivery fly by. Later, they talk and fight and argue after their first baby. I hope more people see this video and learn to shut up.

[@Sana-bw9zx]

Alhumdolillah....i was looking for some guidance. And allah guided me.... May Allah SWT grant me healthy and happy kids at the right time in right phase of relationship. Ameen

[@abdulalimomar6116]

Children are a blessing in your family.

[@abdulalimomar6116]

@Alina Del Rey maybe you don't want children because you are still yet to mature.

[@alekhossen3546]

@Alina Del Rey your parents should have taken the same decision before bringing you to this world

[@SqwareCircle10]

I think this is the best lecture i have ever heard by far, plus i have heard another at my mosque regarding how young Muslims should get to know each other and not be shy however by Islamic guideline. We have alot of young muslim young men talk to christian girls in school but when they start seeing a muslim girl they automatically become religious and say its haram. speak to the damn girl ,boys.

[@annayagondal6831]

Thank you for talking about this 🥹🥹🥹🥹

[@sahomina6484]

Masha Allah,just what I needed,if I could like this video a million times I would.

[@AbdulHussain8055]

Masha Allah today he given a profound advice . If you think deeply you shall be a best father and loveable Husband to wife

[@Livelybeats]

His advice gives me strength.

[@zahraaliceesay5656]

I simply love your lectures💖

[@clinicaldietitiannotes5552]

You are my favourite speaker dear Menk....

[@rabbyashahbaaz865]

Jazak Allah much needed

[@kamronAlam8096]

MashaAllah you are right brother Zazakallah!

[@naishibnshuaib2738]

Allah with you sheik

[@daniellejohnson9788]

Allah blessed me with a Pakistani husband and two beautiful daughters. I have the best husband he's done so much for me and I'm proud of his home country.

[@syedaafsheen555]

I was in this guilt of whether it might be a sin of not bringing baby immediately but Alhamdolillah that I saw this video.

[@Top10-r7n5h]

A lot of people lie about their credentials and profession. Also not enough research was done. Many times you will find that sister in law and mother in law are toxic. But you knew nothing at the time because your spouse was perfect and in some cases is perfect but has been manipulated.

[@shaziyamuzaffar5437]

So true...while reading this comment I felt that you got to know my life already! Hahaha

[@fazeelzubair2787]

No spouse likes their on laws.

[@Top10-r7n5h]

@@shaziyamuzaffar5437 hahaha

[@SeekeroftheHaqqq]

@@fazeelzubair2787 I do

[@fazeelzubair2787]

@@SeekeroftheHaqqq either u r an exception or u r lying

[@tehreemjamil309]

Really was confused whether in Islam it is allowed or not Now feeling relieved May Allah grant us righteous spouse and obedient children and a blessed life❤

[@ayeshakhan3399]

Your words are just awesome, in every related topics u give wonderful insight.

[@shirinshaikh9303]

When i got married i am sure that i dont want the child ASAP but my husband want it and he forced me to have child. He asked me once why you dont want child because u having a plan to ran away with somebody else and so i decided to have a child or else he will think in that way and i dont want it. So the very next month i got pregnent and Alhamdulillaah now am having 2 daughters but i really want to divorce from my husband but i cant as i dont want my kids to suffer. Its better that i suffer instead of my kids.

[@SeekeroftheHaqqq]

Is there a particular reason why you are looking to divorce?

[@squeezeb58]

@@SeekeroftheHaqqq Did you not read what she said? Her husband is a control freak and clearly has some mental issues.

[@aminathdhauha2042]

See, you gotta weigh out risks and benefits. Which is greater. Kids will eventually suffer if their father is controlling and has a toxic nature. Not the end of the world if you divorce. Neither you nor your kids should suffer at the hands of your manipulative husband.

[@squeezeb58]

Doubty77# exactly that husband will make his kids life worse now. Lot of women resent having kids in the future just saying, and it seems like your husband might cause that to happen to you.

[@5pointview717]

@Shirinshaikh9303 - Islam does not make a woman stay with abusove husband for sake of children. When parents stay together but are unhappy then this affects mental health of children badly (I speak as an adult who grew up with a mother who spent her whole life depressed and miserable for the sake of us kids). My father was never a good husband and is also her cousin so it is not like we would have never had a father around if she divorced and remarried so she was happy. I would have preferred that she did get a divorce because my father would have been happier married to someone else.

[@IshratJahan-ji7mh]

What a beautiful thought! I totally agree.

[@norah945]

Nice suggestion but family member's 'force' the couple to have kids right after marriage and if they can't, they shoud get medical advice as soon as possible because apparently marriage is for the sake of kids only. Yes, this part of my culture (and I say culture, not religion) absolutely infuriates me. It is normalised to keep asking the couple why they're not expecting as soon as a month after marriage but God forbid someone tells them that this is a private matter of husband and wife. May Allah give hidayat to such people and sabar to those suffering due to them.

[@Nasrya_]

Its 27 years now since am married. I conceived my first baby after 9 years ...alhamdulillah Allah SWT has listened to my prayers (night prayers, reading quran, tarawee in mosque evn tahjud) ...i never gave up..my inlaws stressing me out for years...alhamdulillah the best part is that ive a good husband who would side me all the time.. Here i am today with three beautiful kids.. They are 17, 11 and 9.. Two boys 1 girl.. Ive been praying since age 5 even though i would stand and bow without even understanding or reading..

[@mohammedjamaludeen8930]

Nasrya_ 2015 Maa shaa ALLAH... Alhamdhulillah.. ALLAH Showers his mercy upon you...

[@fazeelzubair2787]

On what grounds did u 2 decide after 9 years that u are a compatible couple and u dont need furthermore time to understand each other?

[@adamseden1330]

Happy to hear your story.

[@fazeelzubair2787]

At what age did u get married?

[@wshelby83]

Nasrya_ 2015 you're truly blessed

[@crashban4t.f.s.b783]

When I get married I will give it a little while. Give it a few years to make sure. I want to raise a successful family. Inshallah I will.

[@hafi029]

Speaking wisely with respect to current scenario

[@READ-cj3us]

Having kids or not doesnt matter until sons understand the me tal and physical strain mother go through with each child. Its men and their families who need to understand accept importance of concepts like privacy, support, communication between husband wife before and after having children. Often times sons r taught after a child she will be slow in work and she will rest more !!!! Yeah bcuz moms workload has increased. Also brother menk it doesn't matter people are giving trouble in marriage not just on imp aspects of life but also on tiny matters . Men and women don't understand that what matters most is future of kids and importance of parental involvementin kids lives than leaving them on grandparents who are old and cannot do much for kids anyways.

[@syedghouse1162]

Jazak Allah Khair... Agreed with the perspective which u have mentioned 👍

[@nimrasalahuddin6015]

Anytime you face any hardship especially from your relatives side just remember that it is a test and Allah will surely reward you for your patience. In the Qur'aan, Allah has guaranteed those who are patient that He will give them reward without measure . Allah states that the victory of attaining Paradise and being saved from Hell will be won only by those who are patient, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): “Verily, I have rewarded them this Day for their patience; they are indeed the ones that are successful” [al-Mu’minoon 23:111]

[@moinakbhattacharya878]

As an experienced elder person Mufti Sahab's this suggestion is very practical, this is not about religion or message from Allah Almighty. In today's world it is very very important getting to know each other as spouse.

[@fajarusman3976]

Wow and our society always says the opposite.

[@bareeraarshad9792]

I also follow this but after 2 years of marriage i didn't conceive yet😢

[@abubakarahmadbichi]

Masha Allah a perfect advice

[@MrSham344]

Thank you so much..... May Allah bless you longer life. Ameen I really Love you for the sake of Allah

[@cumin9121]

This is amazing. Masha Allah

[@shahids79]

So true. Cabby agree with The Sheikh more.

[@rilasabnam729]

This is great !

[@slovelyyx7718]

Depends on the age as well. I was 27 when I got married and my husband 33, felt like the clock was ticking tbh. So I got pregnant right away (Alhamdulilah) there is a huge age gap between my first and second, but I don’t regret it because who knows if I waited longer what would’ve happened. Fertility begins to decrease for women by 30.

[@mariamuzma5554]

I think people should know each other before marriage and then marry. Because getting divorced is not applicable in everyone’s life. Some people want children as soon as possible because of their health issues, strength and age factors. As one one grows older and is about to reach 30 then it’s very difficult to conceive. In my case I want baby but my husband doesn’t want baby because of society and family taunt that he is desperate and had baby soon. It’s 4 months already. He is good and I want to build a family with him but he wants me to earn and build my career. I can’t force him to have baby. I feel tensed and afraid if I am unable to conceive as now a days lots of pregnancy related issues are there….I am tired of explaining him….I don’t know what to do……

[@5pointview717]

Sister you must explain the biological/health issues regarding delaying pregnancy to your husband as best you can. If he still wants to delay then you must decide which is more important to you - husband but no children in future due to infertility or child so divorce him and marry another that you are happy with and willing to have a child with you in a few years. Note: Many Men may say they don't want a child now but will later blame the woman when she becomes old and infertile. They then also take a second younger wife to have that child with. I had an arranged marriage but my husband wanted me pregnant from Day 1 even though I wanted to wait a few years to get close to each other and build a career first, he would prefer me to just stay at home as long as I gave him a child. 3 years of misery for both of us and he kept threatening a second wife. I stood my ground and eventually he left (2 weeks after getting his UK Visa). He never cared about who I was as a person, he just wanted to boast to society that he was a great father. This is why discussing whether or not you want children and estimating when you want them before marriage is 100% advised but in Cultural Arranged marriage parents do not always allow time and space to discuss hence more miserable marriages and divorces. Too many girls are naive not learning about contraception, boys/men refuse to wear protection or get angry when told to use condom by wife. Many girls thing it will be fun to be a mother as soon as possible then later say they wish they waited. Every couple is different but both husband and wife must have talked about if they want children or not, how many and when before and after marriage (discuss and check every 2years incase someone changed their mind). Do double check with your husband if he does want to be a father someday or does he never wabt children (ie truth) so you can make the best decision for you. InshaAllah that your marriage rains happy and healthy and may Allah swt bless you both with children if you so desire in the future.

[@g.vibewithme3759]

Im struggling a lot right now. Next spring we will be married for 5 years insha Allah. My husband doesnt want children right now, we came to a point that if I bring up the question he tells me to give find another person to get them with and that he doesnt want to be the one that takes away my dreams. And if I ask him another question he will attack me by telling me he never wants to have children. Please can you make dua for my situation and allah give me sabr.

[@5pointview717]

I had the opposite problem. Arranged marriage - My Ex wanted to have child straight away but I wanted to get to know each other, wait atleast 5 years so that I could build a career but he did not want to accept this, kept being an abusive angry husnand, threatened to get 2nd wife etc that in the end I had to tell him a lie that I never wanted kids so either he accept this or he can divorce me. He still waited until he got Permanent Visa to UK then decided to leave me. 3 years of misery for both of us. If you truly do want a child and he does not then through sincere heart I tell you that this marriage is in trouble and will be miserable for you both, you must decide if you want him as your husband with no children or want children more then that means getting a divorce and marry someone who loves you & you love and does want children. Divorce and remarriage is not easy thing but in Islam it is better than 2 people being stuck miserable together for years with different needs and desires ie incompatibility in current & future plans. Trust Allah swt to help you if single or divorced, marriage & children are Sunnah not Fard.

[@saharmehmood331]

same sir i will check the guy for 2 years or 1.5 years and then i will go for a kid . i cant be a single mom with a kid

[@piqueny8872]

About time somebody said it! Many couples have unplanned children or pressure by parents to give them a male heir Causin Hate anger abuse towards eachother and especially the babies I know if men who are excellent husbands but are nasty abusive fathers they wanted the intimacy but no children and now are suffering from mental health

[@ojitosrodriguez114]

I have been saying this for the longest time! Having kids immediately after starting a long-term relationship or marriage will only cause problems between partners due to differing parenting styles and perspectives. It will not help the relationship one bit!

[@smartipants123]

I completely agree.

[@MB-dl4fv]

I don't understand why some people interrupt couples,we don't have to answer your question,maybe i dont want to have a child lets say for 4-5 years is it mandatory to have a child and you cant delay it? Absolutely not you can delay it of course,even if you don't want to have a child never of course as a couple you both dont want to have a child it is still better than commiting zina,so why don't you give your very precious advices to somone who commiting zina,kufr,shirk or some other sins instead of asking and interrupting young couples why don't you have a child,why you do this or that,it is none of your business actually,maybe some of couples have health problems why you remind them about that, instead of care about your life,your sins,your after life?

[@oris247]

I totally agree that kids shouldn't happen until at least a couple of years in- I would say 5 in fact. But how do you delay having kids when birth control is apparently haram?

[@hindustanimiyabhai1767]

How can a couple be 100% sure, that will never happen. Instead advise people on how to live after marriage.

[@rummaankhurshid7625]

Brilliant!!!

[@3yuush]

How every1 could have this mentality....things could have been different tbh.

[@farnispersaud2529]

help mufti menk to share .comment and like to spread his words and love

[@feniwarida9092]

M 24 years old and I don't want to kids May Allah forgive me

[@asadrasool6993]

Masha Allah

[@ameerunsheerin4303]

allahu akbar 😍

[@huma5419]

So true

[@SamirKennoun]

Salam Sheikh, Thank you for clarifying this subject. So if I understood it well, a married couple can choose when to have children? But could you explain in islam if it is allowed to have intercourse with condom, to prevent having children too fast like you mention above? What about hormonal pills? And other contraceptives? Jazakallah ou khayran.

[@awesomevideo5525]

Doesn't matter society don't think like that

[@muhammaduwais4409]

You wear specs.😍😍😍

[@mohammedirfan4441]

I don't know and I am not agains your opinion but certain time if there is any problem in relation after having kids from both side wife aur husband want to continue the relationship by understanding each other.....this will be better than divorce i think... Now percentage is low of divorce due to kids but If there is no kids between the relationship I think percentage will be high... According to me kids make stronger relations of their parents...

[@muhammadtariqmunir1282]

I agree and what even after having no kids and still there is tension between couples coz some of people will start new things ahh we'll get married then see if we don't have any problems then we'll have kids otherwise we'll separate

[@rozepanthera2659]

Its to understand the needs of each other we take time...so we can put all the love n care in bringing up kids who will follow a uniform way of life...not spoilt brats who side with daddy when mommy is upset n go astray because the guardians havent yet come to terms in their relationship....i am doing the same...taking time n space to understand the diversity...commi g from a very modern background n fitting in with simple people...believe me...i am much more enhanced in my family function than before n quite ready to have kids asap....i know what to do now...with a loving friendly n caring hubby by my side ready to face the adventures of bringing up my family !

[@kledmohd4230]

I actually don't agree with his point of view and would go with the one of the scholars I follow who are of opinion that having kids quickly is better. That holding off pregnancy temporarily for some reason is permissible but is generally disliked. Also kids is not in the hands of couples that when they want they will born one, but in the hands of Allah. Some contraceptives does a lot of harm for the girls in long term who have hard time conceiving later on. Don't want to go in details but its from personal experience of close ppl. Your point is another reason that having kids solidify marriages, that couples would strive to be together despite issues for the sake of kids. Or else marriage becomes open game. Mufti menk has his point of view that after the strive, if they still separate, then kids will be in problem. However I think some time experimenting could be fine but couples go years experimenting on each other, before trying to conceive and it becomes difficult. Even science supports that women are less fertile in later stages of their youth.

[@rozepanthera2659]

@@kledmohd4230 it is I think not right to hold up pregnancy...however in order to have successful marriages it is necessary that we r conditioned for taking a responsibility...when we already chose a good partner there should be no experimenting..we should take up some tume just to cordinate ourselves together n be of one opinion n rule their family ! I found this experiment quite helpful n successful...there were times when i told my hubby...im gonna leave u ...its too much....i cant take it....n now we r sooo close n no more running away or thinking of any other option !

[@kledmohd4230]

@@rozepanthera2659 by experimenting, I meant getting to know each other etc as suggested by the video, which I think is fine, but for a short period of time( max 1 year). However many couples spends years trying each other which could be problematic. Regarding your statement about feeling to run away from relationship, I believe most ppl feel like this some point of their life, but end up spending the life together, and rejoicing at the better judgement made.

[@hamzashaikh2099]

Can anyone be 100% sure in any point in marriage that his/her spouse is perfect?

[@5pointview717]

@hamzashaikh2099 nobody is perfect but if you wait a few years before children you can find out your compatibility, how good you think they will be as parents and if your heart and soul thinks this is the right person for you to build a long partnership with. Having children too soon complicates things and will forever connect you with somebody that is either a bad husband or bad parent d also the child will suffer. If compatible and happy in beginning but you still end up divorced later (with/without children) then Allah swt is the best planner of your life not you trust him.

[@milkycloud.]

I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY I DO NOT WANT TO GIVE BIRTH OR HAVE ANY CHILDREN.

[@SeekeroftheHaqqq]

Good for you

[@remsorian3]

You have to understand that you have to pray and more than that You have to understand that you have to do at ramdam I know everyone starts criticizing but you have to understand that you have a lot of mistakes

[@fazeelzubair2787]

And how to know that u have understood ur spouse? Who fixes this time interval?

[@fazeelzubair2787]

@Wasif Sikder thats what im asking. "How to know that marriage is rock solid"? Who decides this rock solidness?

[@fazeelzubair2787]

That hadith doesnt explain anything about time period. Some couples take multiple years to understand each other. Many couples understand their incompatibility after nearly half a decade

[@bushrarauf9955]

You can never understand a person 100%, personally I feel it is more or less to understand your compatibility and values. Different people have different opinions on raising kids and careers and if you and your spouse have completely opposing views it will be difficult to get along and start a family. Also if your spouse is devoid of love and care and does not follow any Islamic teachings, it may not be apparent at the time of marriage but you may understand only after living together.

[@fazeelzubair2787]

@@bushrarauf9955 so ultimately how much time does it take for a couple to understand each other to nearly 100% or rock solid?

[@bushrarauf9955]

@@fazeelzubair2787 You cannot measure understanding so there is no specific time limit. It is upto you.

[@maryuabdallah7345]

MashAllah

[@anisakristina9909]

Where can I give you a question? İt is very important for me

[@munalovespalestine]

Email him

[@saadpatel2734]

Inspiring mashallah

[@kidsgamesmo9385]

kids is liv.

[@sharmin7387]

But isn't birth control prohibited in Islam except some considerable issues??? I'm very confused.

[@NFKhan-eu3ff]

I wish my mom understood this

[@armishabbas1000]

WAllah my thoughts

[@MrHotsoftice]

I love you brother Mufti Menk and I follow your advices as well. May Allah subhanau watala bless you more. Ameen