Late-Diagnosed Autistic (at age 40!)

I got diagnosed with autism earlier this year at age 40. Here's a little video explaining why I started looking into it and what I plan to share about it in the future.
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[@Yuki_Taro]

I'm honestly glad people are talking about late diagnosis like ADHD, autism, and similar topics. Edit: I'm also neurodivergent and this makes me happy.

[@xievisthedragon]

Welcome to the club! I was diagnosed at 37. Oddly enough, I am 40 now.

[@jaxvanheerden]

You look great at 40 and you still have a long life ahead of you.

[@mikk5540]

Autistic burnout is tough, I’m dealing with that too. It’s gotten better in recent years tho. You’ll find your way, sounds like you’re taking some necessary steps already, I’m rooting for you! ♡

[@faeriesmak]

Ugh..the burnout is brutal. I am in one myself right now.

[@quindovelin]

Thanks for sharing. I’m going going through something similar. It feels good to hear about others going through similar experiences. Late in life diagnosis/realization is tough.

[@bookscorpion]

so sorry to hear you're in a depressive episode right now 💙 i am also neurodivergent & am dealing with anger issues regarding past treatment / lack of recognition. i've been in a state of extreme burnout for many years that came to a head in 2020 & i'm currently not working. i feel like i'm slowly healing, but it's taking a very long time & i'm not sure how long i can maintain my health when i have to go back into the work world. wishing you all the best & hope you are able to get the help and accomodations you're in need of!

[@RachelleRigler]

Sorry to hear what you are going through..if it means anything, it's very validating to hear your story. Autistic burnout sounds very real, and something I have and really struggle with. It's affected my life greatly. No one in my family has ever understood. In the last few years I've very much been wondering what is wrong with me..why am I so affected by things, why do I have these shut downs. 😔 It's incredibly hard to no be hard on myself. I've done so much research over the years. I'm 36 now and it's hard. Very hard. I was raised that you don't talk about mental health and you just deal. You don't quit your job and you don't get divorced and my mom always explaining to people that I'm just..sensitive or I just don't like loud sounds or ...whatever. I also don't know how it's possible for me to be happy. To not be lost. (Because we are not severe enough to get support.) Is kinda the story of my life.

[@Toast_Life]

Congrats!!! I started wondering this for myself in the summer of 2021, and got my official diagnosis earlier this year when I turned 33. And no, we are not a disease! I relate so much to your story. I was chasing complex PTSD symptoms all of my life and my longtime therapist and I started wondering if there wasn't something more. I've struggled with high masking and burnout my whole life, almost didn't graduate high school, didn't do traditional college. Things at work became untenable when COVID came, because I worked directly with people. I'm grappling with all the emotions as well. I'm still glad I found this part of myself. I'll quit rambling but as far as life coaching, there's a channel here on KZbin called The Thought Spot that's created by an autistic person. I really like her videos. A lot of help I've found has come from doing my own research, watching channels on here and connecting to people with similar experiences. Wishing you the very best on your journey!!!!

[@CelesteM]

Thanks so much, I'll check out that channel! And good luck to you as well!

[@AquariumWizard]

I am 32 and figured out i am autistic a few months ago and it really is hard to reconcile the memories of poor treatment and knowing that you didnt get what you needed as far as support at that time. Part of my healing is knowing that these things are often genetic and my father likely has autism and my mother has high anxiety.. and neither recieved the care they needed either.. so.. it doesnt make it better, but it does help with understanding and it helps to turn my attention to making sure i dont inflict unhealthy coping on other people. For unmasking - literally just try to have a get together with a lot of autistic people diagnosed early in life that are more at ease with their unmasking. Cheap, though scheduling isnt easy lol

[@CelesteM]

Unfortunately none of my friends live close to me and my house isn't equipped to host people either... but maybe I can figure out a way to modify your idea somehow at some point to make it work. Thank you 😊

[@_hunnybe]

Hi Celeste. New to your channel. I'm getting assessed next month and have been experiencing the same exact thing with overwhelm when I try to sit down to work & shutting down, and it getting worse. Thank you for this video.

[@dr.bandito60]

thanks for sharing this Celeste. I’m sorry you’ve had so many years of not knowing and not having what you needed. Hope you find the supports you need.

[@kerycktotebag8164]

I was diagnosed with Level 2 social/emotion/communication & Level 2 restricted/repetitive/sensory, at age 25. I'm non‐binary, aro & grey‐ace and have been following you for awhile. The sadness and anger are what i went through after my diagnosis. I'm depressed atm mainly because i don't know what's trauma and what's autism, which are so deeply intertwined bc a lot of my traumas are due to masking and trying to survive with the incorrect "roadmap" (assumed allistic'ness).

[@CelesteM]

That's part of what I'm struggling with as well!

[@steffanvierirs2239]

Oh my so, i just found your channel and well: i am autistic, adhder, a trans man, ace probs aromantic too, diagnosed with ptsd, poly, vegan... many labels haha. But i want to thank you for speaking about your experiences because it´s so lonely to be so many things that are so uncommon, or misunderstood, or unknown, or even hated... like, it´s heavy, and it´s so exciting to find more people in their own journeys with those things and themselves. I see you and hope the best for you. The feelings are really really heavy and i too had a hard time right after knowing each of those things about myself. 🤍🤍

[@alexiswilson8093]

I'm self diagnosed autistic.

[@faeriesmak]

Whoo hooo! Me too!

[@faeriesmak]

@Ace Hello Ace! I would start by taking a bunch of the autism screening tests that are online for free. They are often the same ones that are used by professionals. Embrace Autism has a ton of them online on their website and they also have some other resources as well. Another thing that you can do is to find a few people on You Tube who make autistic content such as Orion Kelly and Woodshed Theory. If you really find yourself relating to their content you could be autistic as well.

[@Paula_Limberg]

I’m sure you’ve seen this already, but Yo Samdy Sam lives in the Netherlands, and has spoken about her positive experience with an autism coach. Not sure exactly what it would be called in the US, because the government doesn’t pay for it here, probably, but it exists!

[@CelesteM]

I did see that! It is definitely out of my budget to pay out of pocket for one here though.

[@Paula_Limberg]

@@CelesteM totally. I wonder if it’s something like having a personal assistant, either to help with 1) getting stuff done for me, 2) body doubling so I can get stuff done, or 3) helping plan how I’m going to get stuff done. Maybe a few hours of part time PA work would be a comparable experience? Not sure how the price compares, but of course it would still be out of pocket… or maybe there is a productivity coach who knows something about autistic adults? The PA idea came from some other video where they were talking about undiagnosed autistic elders and how many of the businessmen who might have been autistic were accommodated at their workplace by having a PA or secretary help them out with certain things which may have been hard or interesting to do themselves. I think that makes a lot of sense and can totally imagine that being the case.

[@lexp6099]

I'm sorry you're going through a depressive time

[@CelesteM]

Yes, I've seen a little bit of research on that actually! www.spectrumnews.org/news/largest-study-to-date-confirms-overlap-between-autism-and-gender-diversity/

[@AquariumWizard]

Noticed this too. I think because autism causes us to look at the world with everything as a choice, we dont experience automatic gender feels like a NT would. The predisposition to "live life on manual" as far as how we interact with the world, means that we actually choose our gender. And sometimes this means that what we choose isnt what NT's would expect - we follow our needs and wants logically, without mind for the norm. I think if anyone had managed to stop me in any of my male-gendered hyperfixations, since i presented at female - i think i would have ended up fully trans. As it is, i am able to do all the things that i want, in the body that i have, so i am content. Though i recognize that i dont experience gender like a NT, so I still consider myself nonbinary

[@transformations4684]

First of all, welcome to the tribe! Second of all, I relate too much to your experiences for this to be a surprise. You might like the book: "Unmasking Autism" by Devon Price, PhD (who is also trans). I found his work deeply validating.

[@CelesteM]

Thank you, I actually bought that but haven't had a chance to read it yet! I've read some of his essays though and I look forward to the book.

[@harrypotter9445]

My bestie is Autistic I love him so much and I love you ❤️

[@OtakuGunsoNY]

I was diagnosed at 19 and even then I wasn't able to get any support. The success of the autistic individual highly depends on the type of support they are able to receive. I'd like to recommend my ball from 5below. it's a squishy ball thats full of water or something and it wiggles and it's jiggly like jello :D If you need a reference point I did post a short on my channel about it xD

[@CelesteM]

Oh, that's neat! I'll have to go see if they still have them there!

[@OtakuGunsoNY]

@@CelesteM I like to poke them and watch them wiggle

[@faeriesmak]

I am sorry to hear that you are not doing very well. I understand everything that you are processing, though. I am 47 and self diagnosed last year after my youngest son was diagnosed at 15 and I started researching ASD, as one with ASD would do. It’s difficult. It explains a lot but I am really, really sad for my past self and all of the struggle, burn out, anxiety, depression, and other issues that I had that other people were dismissive about. I don’t think that I will get a professional diagnosis. It’s too expensive, there are no accommodations available for me, and I am POSITIVE that I am ASD. No doubt in my mind. I hope that things begin to improve for you. I would be interested in a video in your assessment process if you would be willing to share it.

[@CelesteM]

I definitely will make one! That'll probably be the next one I do, since I want to do it before I forget too much of it!

[@faeriesmak]

@@CelesteM I can't wait to see it!!!

[@heedmydemands]

Love your KZbin handle

[@FutureCatNZ]

Sorry to hear you're struggling at the moment. I hope things get more manageable soon. I've often wondered if I'm somewhere on the spectrum, but like you describe, it hasn't seemed worth getting a diagnosis because it's not treatable.

[@harrypotter9445]

Awwwww you are trans that's cute 🥺

[@jmaessen3531]

Hi hi! If you are still looking for a coach, I highly recommend the team at Autism Personal Coach. They are based in Ohio and can work with folks virtually. Im working with a coach on their team, I live in Colorado, and am happy with the approach they take and the quick connection i felt with the coach assigned to me. Big hugs your way! 🤟🏻🤓🫶🏼🦄✨🌙

[@CelesteM]

Thank you! I don't know if something like that is in my budget right now but I will look them up and keep them in mind! Thanks for sharing your experience with them!

[@jazziez6467]

Never happened.

[@CelesteM]

Huh? What never happened?

[@AquariumWizard]

Celeste, if you click on their profile it shows they also posted a vaguely transphobic comment on one of your other videos. So my guess here is that they were trying to convey a negative opinion of this video, but not doing a very good job of it as they couldn't find anything specific to nitpick and so decided that it was best to infer that you never got dianosed or autism isn't real, etc etc. I'm glad transphobes aren't sending their best. I hope you have a good day, Celeste.

[@CelesteM]

@@AquariumWizard Yeah, it was such a vague comment to make. I assumed the tone but didn't know what they meant exactly.