LazerPig talks Tank: The First Tank (also the second)

Subscribe, or don't.
No-one will get mad if you don't, but I might get a little upset so you'll have that on your conscience.
In this video, rather than make a whole new video on channel updates and announcements I decided to waste no-ones time and just admit that KZbin Gaming was a waste of time, and in spite of the few fans I now have, I wasn't growing.
So it's time to try something new, if this works, good. If it doesn't then uh....I'll think of something else.
That's all I can think of.
I don't have a Patreon or any social media, if I did they would be displayed here. I do have this www.buymeacoffee.com/LazerPig so you can give me a million dollars and I legally have to spend it on coffee.
I also done some other videos, please go watch them as my subscriber count helps with my asylum application.
here are some hashtags
#tanks #tankhistory #worldwarone #thegreatwar

[@mikemurphy5898]

My only regret about this channel is there aren't 10 years worth of these videos.

[@magnuskain278]

In on my 7th full channel rewatch

[@CeizoBro]

@@magnuskain278 his vids are just too well put together to only watch once. Plus he knows what he’s talking about and backs it up with sources

[@jonathana607]

Not yet. Here's hoping for the longevity of this channel

[@benbauer1509]

I demand more content

[@darkdialga777]

On the plus side, that means you get to watch the channels journey in real time.

[@WelcomeToDERPLAND]

and thus, another quality history channel is born. That'll do pig, That'll do.

[@twenixczyoutuber]

Based

[@keithpennock]

Love the oblique Groundskeeper Willie reference!

[@CharChar2121]

Finally, someone to fill the void left by Potential History

[@VacatedData]

@@CharChar2121 he is back but maybe not for long gods cannot stay in the mortal realm for too long lest we compare ourselves to them and strive for the unachievable

[@LunaticTheCat]

We are truly blessed

[@TrashBinCat]

The Churchill jowls are essential for the impression!

[@doggonemess1]

Best Churchhill ever.

[@internetpleb4854]

Best part of the video

[@FakeSchrodingersCat]

@@doggonemess1 I don't know it was a little more reminiscent of Nixon

[@doggonemess1]

@@FakeSchrodingersCat Too funny!

[@mattfox4549]

It makes me crack up so hard

[@Shaun_Jones]

Imagine that you bring, like, your boss’s bosses to show off your big new war-winning super weapon. Then someone asks what it’s called and you have to say with a straight face and in front of everyone, “Big Willy.”

[@pyerack]

No wonder they immediately started arguing.

[@ToaArcan]

The only surprise is that they didn't follow it up with "Hey Fritz, look at our Massive Cock!"

[@halogeek6]

Imagine that you some mid level engineer invite the monarch and some of the most powerful people in the country to show off your new weapon and they laugh and then start arguing. The sheer tightness of that poor man's sphincter could have ended the war right then and there if it decided to stop being. Poop shoot and become a brown hole. Like a black hole butt alot less powerful and alot more smelly.

[@bodavidson2804]

At least they were straight to the point with the arms race, dick waving contest

[@klafsen]

It is a Big Willy move tho!

[@pridelander06]

"They built a mock-up prototype and it immediately sank into the swamp." The other emperors said it was daft to build a tank in the swamp, but the czar did it all the same just to show them!

[@bibblyboing]

@@RealityInsightsit fired. it missed. it fired again but it missed. i had a popsicle

[@protonnumber8867]

Well I've just binge watched... all of your videos. Hopefully that keeps you out of the bean factory!

[@LazerPig]

There were so many better things you could have done with your evening. You could have learned to ski, perhaps even a little origami, maybe you could have even sat down and simply contemplated the meaning of existence, braced new knowledge and understanding, and finally ascended from this corporeal being into an existence of pure energy with powers beyond imagining. Instead, you watched the entire LazerPig Anthology. Including all the old videos with terrible audio. I hope it was worth it. Thanks for watching.

[@overlordvera4014]

@@LazerPig you're never going to see this but jokes on you, I binged your channel because I ALREADY know origami unironically and regret nothing.

[@doubleugly1594]

@@overlordvera4014 based.

[@Shenaniganator101]

@@LazerPig I hope you know I'm going thru a very hard time and these videos of ur are wonderful

[@wilhelmburgdorf9309]

@@Shenaniganator101 hope you are doing okay bro

[@booradley6832]

Clarification- the French soldiers rebellions were not that they wouldnt fight. They would fight to defend france but they would not go over the top anymore unless the soldiers themselves approved of the battle plans. Since high command wasnt about to do this, everything ground to a halt. Most of them were not revolutionaries just not willing to die for nothing. The true "revolt" was set off by a company of men making noises like lambs, signifying they were being sent to the slaughter. The Germans were stunned and for some time refused to fire on them. Word of this made its way down the french lines and all hell broke loose. Several officers were killed and several others imprisoned, and soldier "soviets" broke out.

[@Goddot]

A soviet being an union, making the Soviet Union be the Union Union. Aaaah languages

[@booradley6832]

@@Goddot Its more of a "governing council of workers" which I guess is like a "as we think of them today" union on steroids.

[@barrag3463]

iirc the reason the Soviet Union was a Union of Soviets, was because, in theory, the USSR was a bunch of constituent Soviets (council of workers) of different countries coming together (which may have been true at the start but as we know now quickly was centralized under a government in Moscow).

[@strikeforce1500]

You know they have sh-tty leadership, when both soldiers on both sides are like "Ya know what?, I'm not gonna shoot at them, just defend"

[@The-jy3yq]

@@barrag3463 Kazakhstan wat the entirety of the Soviet Union . ...for two days

[@flameendcyborgguy883]

I love the early tanks. They are so harshly cut, so derpy, so heavy and hard to work with, that they are in a way, beautiful. Like, if the fastest tank ( Mark. A, known also as a Whippet), could go only 16km/h and the rest would sit around 10 with good terrain, you probably could outrun them. They were heavy, they were boxes with guns on tracks, and there is something precious about this almost techno-barbaric nature of early tanks. They were not simple machines, not far from this, but they were just like cut out of a block of metal, and just roughly shaped.

[@pyerack]

As far as aesthetics go, Mark 4 is probably my favorite tank.

[@Battleship009]

The Renault FT-17 was a WWI tank that had a mass of 6.5 tonnes.

[@flameendcyborgguy883]

@@Battleship009 Hush, FT 17 is its own beast and I shall not speak about it since in all honesty I just find it the least fun of all WW1 tanks. Was it first light tank? Yes. Do I aprecieate it for it? Also yes. Yet I don't like it. It is more interwar tank than WW1, despite the year of patern.

[@West_Coast_Gang]

@@pyerack mark 1

[@alexturnbackthearmy1907]

@@West_Coast_Gang Mark 1 with 6 pounder on back!

[@olekzajac5948]

8:47 That's just about the best Churchill impression I've ever heard

[@yosefyonin6824]

the "bigger artillery" running gag was really hilarious, we need more videos like this!

[@andrewhazlett5418]

Truly enjoyable ravings of a madman. Keep up the good work.

[@T33K3SS3LCH3N]

The German Panzermuseum made an excellent (German) video about the Da Vinci tank! Arguments in its favour: 1. It got the doctrine right! Just like WW1 tanks, it was designed as a breakthrough vehicle that uses superior armour and firepower to create gaps for infantry. This sets it appart from the Hussite War Wagons which were very very roughly like IFVs as defensive vehicles to protect infantry on road marches and on the battlefield. Arguments against it: 1. It would be far too heavy for its wheels. It would just sink into the ground and never go anywhere. There is a reason why tanks required tracks! 2. It would be far too heavy to move. It's "undermotorised". It would likely have needed horses to draw it, which defeats the whole point of armour protection. 3. Its command/control/communications would have been a nightmare. It's dark inside, it requires way too many men, and would have taken tremendous coordination to operate effectively. 4. It would have been vulnerable to a variety of firearms and fire attacks 5. Crew survivability was AWFUL, lacking any reachable escape hatches 6. Much like in the first tanks before Renault FT, its firepower is extremely poorly distributed. It could have been far more effective with a rotating turret. 7. The crew conditions would be absolutely screwed once the cannons start firing. It's dark, the ventilation sucks, there is no way to savely transport more powder, its already too overweight to carry any additional ammunition. The cannons would probably have been single use in each battle. 8. The drawing contained a genuine error that would have made the operation of the drive train impossible. There are theories that he "purposefully" added a mistake to make it impossible to build for others because he was a "pacifist", but that's bogus. Other engineers would have easily fixed that and he was literally working years a military engineer, on his own initiative.

[@ShiftyMcGoggles]

I do think it was more a copying protection thing, the drive train. A person copying his design would undoubtedly not be an engineer, more a spy, and as such wouldn't notice the design flaw when copied.

[@HauntedXXXPancake]

Ahhh, Battle by candlelight. How romantic.

[@Toast_94]

In Totally Accurate Battle Simulator the Da Vinci tank was depicted slowly shuffling itself into range and then just rapidly spinning in place, firing off each of the cannons in rapid succession as the individual cannons lined up with the target. It was funny to watch. xD

[@kalkuttadrop6371]

There was a model made on some show with the error corrected. With a team of fit guys, yes, it could move, albeit they'd likely end up deaf.

[@petersmythe6462]

"This Soviet thing" IIRC The Tsar Tank was a pre-Soviet design.

[@ToxaKaRp]

1:37 This is not "soviet" thing. It is called "Tsar tank". And it was build in rusian empire, before commies start revolution in 1917. That's why this thing is technically russian, but not soviet.

[@maxmccullough8548]

Even the soviet called it tsar tank....

[@dorekborek]

And they even say in their documentaries that it came after the British tanks, so they can hardly use it as proof that they invented tanks.

[@xTheUnderscorex]

@@maxmccullough8548 In the tradition of the Tsar Cannon, the Tsar Bell, the Tsar Bomba and so on, yes. Sure the idea of as Tsar was antithetical to their ideological underpinnings, but naming schemes transcend all that.

[@concept5631]

@@xTheUnderscorex Tsar Bomba as well

[@AncientAccounts]

this is brilliant, if you keep this up, i see a oversimplified type sub count in your future

[@booradley6832]

The difference is oversimplified sucks and doesnt confuse the normals by using "research."

[@WhiteIkiryo-yt2it]

With Little Willie, the first tank was born and with this video, the legend of Lazerpig was born.

[@johnyossarian1135]

The God Semple is clearly the first tank as it transcends time and reality and therefore existed at the beginning of the universe thus being the first and last tank in all of everything.

[@Anonymous-zu7dh]

All hail our one true god semple

[@left-2-write28]

I bet when you die, you are carried to the Pearly Gates in a God Semple. Then, you meet God, who is a different Semple.

[@Elenrai]

o7 praise god semple, creator of everything good!

[@senorpepper3405]

God semple😂

[@renzo6938]

Love this format, keep 'em coming

[@anonanonski2234]

Your channel quality is amazing. Hilarious, informative videos. I'll definitely be subscribing and hope you keep it up!

[@CJM-uq2gv]

As someone who plays HOI4 I must say, I’ve never been so offended by something I completely agree with

[@bchin4005]

I'm so glad I found your channel. That perfect recreation of old English men arguing had my jowls shaking with laughter. Cheers mate.

[@KlaxontheImpailr]

That part where the soldier has a panic attack by looking at a hat is heartbreaking. 😢

[@kopperhed4472]

The Jowl Rattling joke is Lazerpig's contribution to mankind.

[@CoobyPls]

Eggs! Been waiting on a new LP upload. Thanks for the day early birthday present!

[@christopherolson1564]

Is an actual blessing in my life to hear your Winston Churchill impression

[@Spankee99]

10/10 Churchill impression

[@flweeptwo]

But first a word from our sponsor WORLD OF TANKS

[@LazerPig]

I wish

[@user-uy1rg8td1v]

@@LazerPig Crossover episode with Potential History? He also does a lot of videos on military issues especially tanks. It would probably increase your view count.

[@andrewbellavie795]

Great Chruchill impression. I enjoyed "...we will fight them in the pubs..."

[@aircraftnut15]

8:40 had me laughing so fucking hard I actually paused the video laughed my ass off like a child (I’m 30) then commented while still laughing my ass off Good job dude 👍👍

[@REAPER3382]

my favorite channel as of late. love rewatching em and re listeing while playing the war thunders. thanks pig

[@jamescastle7704]

"World War 1: The depressing one" NOOOOOOOO I laughed way too hard at that...that's not good

[@yamatoko219]

How did I not watch this masterpiece before now? Truly, the Pig is the Iberico of youtube.

[@markokrsmanovic2562]

So looney, incredibly entertaining and yet very very informative video(s). It is as if you have somehow manage to achieve the famed yet illusive trifecta of a good video attributes and the video has tanks, V.C. and pigs, which are all some of the things i realy like and respect.

[@SyntheticParanoia]

00:30 As a Bulgarian I was stunned to hear my national Anthem in a LazerPig video about tanks... Interesting.

[@mihaildimitrov1149]

Same. Only I was. WAS, LazerPig! Dozing off in 12:15 AM. Fastest barrew row in my life.

[@otakunthevegan4206]

"We shall fight at the Bar, we shall fight in the Pub, we shall fight at the Liquor Store, and in the Liquor Cabinet, we shall fight at wicked Kegger Party, we shall NEVER quit drinking"-Winston Churchill's original draft for his Battle of Britain speech

[@danielvandersall6756]

Incredible how often I see the Rooster for Pathe-Gaumont on these old films. Also interesting how these early tanks did in fact look a lot like early battleships... Pretty much casemate guns. And about as effective.

[@sephtis]

The first tank and the birth of machanised infantry and the use of combined arms was an interesting history lesson. Decidedly much less gruesome than tales of trench foot and chlorine gas bombs being blown back to the ones who fired them. Also, bigger artillery.

[@wouterstavleu4158]

8:39 this has been getting me laughing down to the floor everytime i hear this. i just need a compilation of lazer pic full of these kind of moments. love this history channel

[@sindurgoku8022]

Damn, your Churchill impersonation is spot on. My sides, you owe me new sides. ;D

[@warded_]

Good history and you are funny. Please make more videos like this about tanks. Good luck!

[@ptonpc]

I think I've managed to watch all your history videos. Do I get get some therapy?

[@LazerPig]

No, it only gets worse from here

[@metaljewelgaming]

I have been here since you released this… damn well worth watching everything you create!

[@pump6400]

just stumbled on to ur channel today and ive spent the whole day watching your videos wow, gotta say I'm in love with your content hahaha

[@HistoryUniversity]

Just found your channel from video, love this video :)

[@renefrias3982]

Enjoyed this video also loved the clips of Black Adder and Red Dwarf

[@stagnantfox3027]

Anything but the bean factory! The horror.

[@jacksonsnellings9860]

More content! Spill your lifeblood into this channel. Your flesh is a relic; a mere vessel. Hand over your flesh, and a new world awaits you. We demand it.

[@qsywastooshort7451]

I'm not super sure if that was meant as a joke considering it is a list of pretty silly weapons, but that weird crossbow thing (the sauterelle d'impy) did not fire the shrapnel shown immediately afterward. It fired grenades that had become obsolete to throw by hand.

[@LTV746]

All your videos are just incredible

[@masstv9052]

I'm happy you transitioned to history and military vehicles. While I watch Long form Gaming Essays, from people like Noah Caldwell, I watch much more history from Bronze Age, to Classical Greece and Rome, to modern history & warfare. Your content is a breath of fresh air in this genre, adding Humour while also providing insight into topics I know little about, such as TANKS........ What I'm saying is thank you for the content, and keep up the good work. Your channel will go places

[@evanedwards4598]

So glad this popped up in my recommendations. Love me some decently edited historical content.

[@martinbaker1609]

I just found out about your channel from my history instructor. I'm loving your take on history.

[@newname4785]

Leadership: Don't tell them the truth of ehst they're building. Tell them it's water tanks! Literally everyone in the factory: you know, these water tanks have ALOT of guns on them and have like zero room for water.

[@sages9038]

Love the internet historian-esque opening

[@tomonabudget]

Awesome content and channel that's growing. I even re-watched it because of the Ferfinand typo you mentioned in one of your other videos. Keep that awesome and funny content coming! Make history fun.

[@Quickpatch12]

The Mark 1 and the later series are my favourite Tanks mainly because of their designs. I know that they had a slew of issues and that no modern military, or even military in WW2, would ever use them. Yet they are so eye-catching that you know what it is just by looking at them. Plus they were a help in turning the tides in many battles during the war

[@LostLeftyLimb]

This is a great effort. I’ve Watched it every 3 months.

[@overlordgaming752]

I am genuinely surprised that tunnel warfare wasn’t more prevalent. It was used, but not nearly as much as you’d expect

[@Wallyworld30]

Do you realize how difficult and dangerous it was to tunnel under no mans land into hostile territory was?

[@overlordgaming752]

@@Wallyworld30 Yes. It’s a war.

[@cpp3221]

@@Wallyworld30 wildly done in the modern period

[@st2udent_650]

@@cpp3221 wait what Where?? When? I must know

[@cpp3221]

@@st2udent_650 look at the siege of Candia for exemple The Ottoman and the defender of the city did it en masse.

[@BlightCosmos]

I got so into the video I forgot it what it was even about and just wanted to see more This is indeed a goid channel

[@lulabyte]

ready to watch and like every single one!

[@PedroCosta-po5nu]

"where do tanks come from" you see, when daddy and mommy tank love eachother verry much.....

[@withinthekeys]

I love how you present the history to the viewer

[@lexslate2476]

Ah, the first LP history vid. Well done. I like how the other pictures in the bar took a step back from the Churchill one.

[@rockydowns1502]

The Winston Churchill part had me DYING. bloody well made.

[@juggerdawg4505]

Epic quality even down to your first video. Nice 👌

[@slythromancitizen2050]

I love the jokes you spice up the stories with. In fact Im getting like a bit addicted to this channel 🙂

[@barbarawhite-tw2de]

tanks for the informative video

[@masterman1001]

LazerPig's Churchill impressions are so convincing that I'm certain he *is* Churchill. He survived and makes videos from his mansion somewhere in southern England. Didn't wanna deal with the queen anymore, that's why he "died" back in the 60s.

[@nephiuma3766]

Love this format ngl.

[@ivanescualexandru1196]

I've watched all of your videos since yesterday (discovered your channel in the evening). Absolutely love it. I've subscribed, liked all your vids and I was so happy when I saw the new upload earlier today. Amazing job and so much great info. Glad you're busting myths left and right. I can't even express how much I love the exaggerated British accent and your humor! Have you deleted/unlisted the videos where you play Wargame? Best wishes and I really hope you achieve anything you wish with your channel! fun amazing fact: about 18-20 hours ago, I think I saw 15.8k subscribers. As i write this, they've reached 17.7k So glad!!

[@athiftsabit1208]

Finally i've watched all of your videos, glad i met a madlad making a groundbreaking quality channel 🔥 Btw you're right, don't be a specific gaming channel, it's oversaturated and have many "problems". Just upload anything you want, your style is a next level value and it'll do 🍻

[@MikeGraceJediDad]

Congratulations on hitting 100k!

[@blarpnarp]

comprehensive list of early tank ideas: penny farthing, boat on wheels, bathtub on wheels, hut on wheels

[@MrGriffhead1]

love all your videos. hope you make more shows!

[@russwoodward8251]

Cool stuff Lazorpig. Thanks.

[@ethzero]

Tanks for the video!

[@BartJBols]

The one with the dinner plates is called a pedrail wheel, its a precursor to the threads and actually works quite nice in mud and when horse pulled.

[@ricardosalazarrey2424]

This is brilliant material 💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@aguynamednick]

You missed the opportunity to joke, 'it immediately sank into a swamp. So they built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So they built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up."

[@CaptHollister]

Subbed because of the Blackadder and Red Dwarf references.

[@TobiasBroad]

I’ve always wondered where the name “tank” came from... This video marks me completing the entire LazerPig oeuvre, where and when I’m the hell is the next one?!?!

[@wayne7922]

Best channel I’ve found in a while

[@jamesguptill6611]

Yup, damn glad you are doing this,

[@dcdk1525]

LaserPig I absolutely loveD your video. As always ;)

[@doubleT84]

"Where did tanks come from?" 0:20 ... I love your humor!

[@colesmith3050]

Your channel is amazing. You are going to blow up soon.

[@MrVonkliest]

These OG LP videos were unhinged 😂🤣

[@raulbluesman9463]

Man this is quality stuff!

[@alanpope8385]

I like your style and stuff. Hope that helps. I don't normally put this much effort into supporting channels.

[@thomasswafford250]

You do such a great job.

[@thomasvandevelde8157]

Liked it, especially the Chuchill impersonation. That was funny. And as is everything else. Sad sometimes, but funny!

[@ILIASthegreekboy]

Thank you mate

[@jonesy279]

I’m always excited for a LP Churchill impression!

[@lilithmoore5438]

3 years on and you're still making S tier content!

[@Attaxalotl]

Thank you for mentioning New Mexico! Quite a few people in the U.S. don't even know we're a state.

[@whitewolf44a]

Your Churchill impression is on the spot

[@stonedgaming7900]

I like the videos. Its entertaining and educational.

[@letsgobrandontrump2024]

Love your content man

[@cat-nl4sv]

lol the churchill voice

[@Mike8Bitch]

Top shit, love the impressions