Parasocial Relationships

[@Notsram77]

So... I joined a community to learn Hunt: Showdown. I made friends, started playing with people, and started interacting with some streamers. After half a year in a smallish discord, spending time with these people, during a stream, a streamer referred to me as 'some guy in chat.' Suddenly I understood: some roads only go one way.

[@arthurlarrubia]

yo i love hunt showdown

[@clayface11]

That’s just how it is unfortunately. I hope you at least still have your actual friends. Hunt is a really great game

[@Humancatpost]

At the end of the day, unless you’re hanging out with these people in their free time and away from a stream, they’re not ever your real friends. People often idolize streamers and imagine themselves to be closer to them than they ever will be.

[@clydebean]

damn bruh

[@soulbolts]

I watched Solar Sands video on that talked about this topic and I found it very insightful. I think parasocial relationships can be toxic if not handled in a healthy way. I think these kinds of relationships need balance just like any other relationship. KZbinrs are great but you have to know that you need balance in life and I am not trying to say what you should do with your life but I am just warning people to be careful and not get into unhealthy relationships. Be safe online and try not to be chronically online if you can for your own sake. Edit: I found this video to be just as insightful as Solar Sands video!

[@nefariousyawn]

Another good one came from Super Eyepatch Wolf.

[@pokkiheart]

I really admire how Alpharad does it. He talks a lot about how who he is on his yt channels, twitch, and even seemingly more personal podcast is just an overexaggerated persona and calls out the people who don't realize that literally everything fans know about him is just how he acts in front of a camera. He does a lot of in person events and tries to get people close to the character he's made, while still being very blatant it's just a character. I'm just glad to see someone with that big of an audience making those intentions clear, and thought it was relevant.

[@camixlive9877]

I agree

[@Lumberjack_king]

Yeah it's very important to make that clear

[@yourbrainonegg159]

So that's why I could never watch that dude,his fakeness is literally by design like a cardboard cutout making videos

[@Lumberjack_king]

@@yourbrainonegg159 uh no just no

[@pokkiheart]

@@yourbrainonegg159 I wouldn't go that far. He's just a good actor, I think. Still the personality he puts on isn't for everyone.

[@lewdwig]

I think it’s important to be clear that parasocial relationships are not inherently bad. But they do stand a much higher chance of becoming unhealthy if one or both sides misunderstands the nature of the relationship. Sadly, many KZbinrs stoke these unhealthy relationships because numbers are numbers, right?

[@WSendam]

That’s some fancy shooting your pretty good but you tend to twist your arm to absorb the recoil

[@Jacox98]

@@WSendam is this like a metaphor or are you on the wrong video?

[@Celeste-hu5vg]

@@Jacox98 its a quote from metal gear solid 3

[@Jacox98]

@@Celeste-hu5vg oh shit

[@griffinoconnor1523]

I don’t know that I would agree that parasocial relationships aren’t inherently bad

[@Raven_Frame]

I'm not even a particularly big fan, I believe I watched your Combine video back when you were masculine presenting. However I must say that the mental wellbeing of your audience is not your sole responsibility, you have a responsibility to yourself first and foremost. And I think a healthy distance between creators and audience is best for everyone, especially when that audience includes minors.

[@acemagalor2519]

I’ll be honest this one hit me HARD, a few years ago I was completely obsessed with KZbinrs and was basically the parasocial Superfan described in the video. I knew none of them would ever know who I was but I was content in what I thought was peaking into their lives, obviously I’ve grown since them but hearing the feeling of being young and desperate for the love of someone you idolized and looked up to from KZbin in words just hurt in such a weirdly traumatic way, amazing work Lead

[@TheAssassin642]

I feel like this is something that has to be taught to kids. As part of parenting... The value of making real friends rather than being glued to this device that connects to your parasocial "friend". I've learned that just being aware of whats going on in my head and what i want and need helps me to actually get at those things. Which sounds really obvious once i say it like that. But theres still a lot within my head that even i am blind to, which is weird since i am the primary resident.. Of myself

[@TecnoButter]

It's so crazy to think that we have been in this parasocial hype ever since the first celebrity was shown to us, not uncommon, not anymore...but it can be extremely unhealthy, people tend to forget that "stan" is *not* a good thing

[@spacebassist]

literally went from being a parable in eminem's song, to becoming "stalker-fan", then normalised hyper-fixation on complete strangers. wild

[@serendipity4346]

Great topic! After this point, your 7:15 arguments are soooo good! Sometimes relationships like this are definitely "Predatory", as you said by the end.

[@averyvanderlouw1193]

It’s definitely gotten worse over the last two years do to global lockdowns, it’s opened up an opportunity for online personalities to let viewers who can’t see their friends and family to feel like they have company. There’s nothing wrong with creators who simply make content that’s dependent on their personality but there’s a fine line between self expression and viewer exploitation

[@april-bloom]

Wake up babe, new Leadhead video dropped

[@Yourlibrarian]

I’m awake!

[@peterlawson8040]

Wake up babe, I have no original thoughts.

[@april-bloom]

@@peterlawson8040 POV: you're just a lil hater

[@april-bloom]

@@Yourlibrarian we watched the video at the same time, we are now brothers

[@Yourlibrarian]

@@april-bloom forever bonded!

[@brunocar02]

This is one of the best videos i've seen on the subject, it might sound awful to say it this way but most videos about it are a short explanation of what parasocial relationships are, followed by 20+ minutes of personal examples that come off more as grievances than trying to actually, properly, explain why this is a problem, but in this vid you focused on one example and managed to express every facet of the issue with just that. From now on im gonna send this vid to people when the subject comes up.

[@MamaWheelz]

I've been trying so hard to explain this concept to my kid. This is a super helpful video for me to pull your perspective from to help them get it. Thank you so much ❤️

[@brustona2173]

An ideal parasocial relationship is one wete both parties have respect both for themselves and the opposing parties, creators must be able to interact with with their fans, but must not fall under the idea that they owe their friendship to their fans, fans must also have the respect to realise they cant expect to be someone freind though obsession, but also realise that being freinds with someone famous isnt a solution to their problems in life, honestly this is why i dont think children should ever be using the internet, not only do they lack the social skill to maneuver around the many traps of the internet but they’re very nature as children is highly exploitable by simply having an intrest in someone.

[@TheVibes101]

"There isn't a darkweb robot attacking me unless you count the KZbin algorithm" I mean true, I didn't get any notification about this video or the last one and decided to check in thinking you hadn't uploaded in a while. Well, here's a comment for engagement, hope your videos pick up a little more traction cause you clearly spend a lot of time creating them and I think this channel deserves to be more popular.

[@gabbo7101]

I remember when I was a kid, I had no friends. The few friends I did have would always turn out to be lieing to and deceiving me. When you watch a youtuber, watch every video, watch their behind-the-scenes stuff, etc etc, it becomes very easy for a lonely, social outcast to form a one sided relationship. Hell, I could even see this happening to adults too. I personally formed a good handful of parasocial relationships as a kid and even teenager. Without even thinking, I would feel like Im apart of a personal relationship with this person that doesnt even know I exist. Of course, as a more emotionally stable adult who has a way better understanding of herself, its easy for me to be able to differentiate between an entertainer/personality and a real friend, but some people arnt as fortunate. Some people dont have the benefit of being able to do all the growing and self reflection ive done these past few years. Not to excuse any creepy, stalkery, or manipulative behavior from these people, but I can 100% see how and why it happens, especially since I was once in their shoes.

[@KellyAesop]

damn youre so cool and responsible and thoughtful. i may not be your friend but i admire what you do a lot.

[@mamertens99]

Another thing I like, so streamers distance themselves from the specific viewer, is talking in groups. Not "XxGameMasterxX said..." but "Chat said". It has probably also something to do with that it is easier to read, but a good method nonetheless.

[@jacksavere6988]

That drip is incredible I must say.

[@namgyallharipa8206]

Please don't ever stop making videos. The videos you make have been a part of my life for a long time. I watch them and often re-watch them while doing my work and chores, they take me out of reality and make me think about the things you talk about and help me to not overthink my life and everything happening around me. They have been really helpful, thanks a lot for the videos you make.

[@nilshalvorsen9541]

This video connected so many dots in my head, the internet’s a weird place psychologically . Thank you for giving me insight

[@bonniethefemboy]

I'm a smaller creature on twitter, and this is a horrible feeling that I'm going to have this happen to me. I don't wanna hurt people. But I'm also just a very big personality. So while helpful of what not to do, also made so anxious

[@kenbujutsu]

I just wanna say that I like this new style of yours, with your face, some editing going on in the back. I came here 2 years ago looking for a good analysis on Metal Gear Solid 2 and I absolutely fell in love for your videos and takes. Thank you for your content.

[@charlieminers2892]

Awesome video, the Firewatch scenery as a background is particularly special. S+ tier channel

[@Stevenpants]

Dude, this was fantastic. I greatly enjoyed the physiology and emotional aspect of this themed video. As a father, I constantly worry about the contents my child watches or consumed. Look forward to more videos.

[@shooter2409]

You probably don’t remember me, hell, you might not even read this. Back when you had like 20 subs, we had a short conversation when I commented on one of your videos. We spoke about movies you’d possibly review/analyse next. We never followed up. I’m so happy you’ve made it to 300k, keep up the good work. Hope you review one of those movies one day 😅

[@MisuAlexandru1]

Great video! People should talk more about this. Also I just want to say that I was happy to see "Accursed farms" video thumbnail in the background :D

[@nefariousyawn]

This is the year of essays on parasocial relationships. I have learned a lot about my relationship with KZbin as entertainment, but much more about the experiences of large channels. I share your concern of how career KZbinrs target and affect young and naive consumers. Truly yours, your biggest fan, This is Stan

[@bens1cultist405]

To be fair, a lot of tv programs do speak right to the audience

[@jordanloux3883]

Yes, but that's because they are there FOR the audience. It doesn't mean the speaker and audience are actually friends.

[@nerolzvanity]

@@jordanloux3883 this isn’t new. there are tv shows and pop stars and musicians our parents or grandmothers are obsessed with. Now with phones and social media, it’s a lot easier to be wrapped in to the void

[@KoopaKaper]

Now you're gonna have people joining your Discord trying to be your friend by saying stuff like "I'm not like those other guys, no, I actually just want to be your friend cause I think you're cool" or whatever But they are exactly the same as the other people

[@Viper-uk6qv]

A lot of fans say that the absolute best that they want is for the person they admire to be constantly friends with them and hang out with them at a constant rate. However, the very best I personally can hope for out of a popular person is just one conversation. One average conversation, where they talk to me like a normal person and not a fan, and I would speak to them as just a normal person and not someone who has highly influenced my life. What I was so fascinated by when I started using Discord and VRChat is that same 'indie' feeling that brings a lot of people together. I would set up a stream in a channel, and a bunch of people would join in who did all kinds of crazy things, whether it be a voice actor, or a KZbinr, or an animator, or something along those lines. It seemed to have been a sort of unspoken rule to just treat people like normal people. Not unimaginably popular and famous celebrities. Hell, one time I met a person who was an actor in Postal 4, and was the same guy who did Otis from Half-Life: Opposing Forces. Like all of the actors in that game, as well as the entire franchise, and just all videogames and even all media in general, I had assumed that these voice actors were out of touch and hardly had any idea that Discord or VRChat even exists. It's so weird that we live in a world with access to all archives of all human knowledge, and somebody could very easily make an announcement to the entire world within 5 minutes, without even needing to get it past any officials or PR Teams.

[@Bkuuzin]

This is a big issue, and I recommend people become informed on what parasocial relationships are and be mindful of the entertainment they enjoy!

[@flow1194]

a Leadhead video is just what i needed today. thanks for supplying

[@Lumberjack_king]

At this point I'm pretty sure I have no parasocial relationships with youtubers at least I hope I'm not unconsciously forming parasococial relationships with personas of Strangers

[@StoryTime333]

I’m researching for my own parasocial video and this was amazing helpful! I’m not a large creator, but I find the concept around this topic so interesting. Looking forward to digging into more of your content.

[@possum7281]

Holy shit that coat is so awesome, I love your style

[@imogenmangle]

I thought I’d heard everything there was to hear on this topic, but actually in this one you answered a question I’ve had for a long while. That is to say, it’s been a curiosity to me that SuperEyepatchWolf has to warn his viewers away from forming an overfamiliar parasocial relationship with him in nearly every video these days, yet I’ve never heard Tim Rogers of Action Button do it even one time. While it’s true that EyepatchWolf has a way bigger audience, and I’m also sure that Tim DOES have overfamiliar fans crossing boundaries sometimes, that difference between them is still interesting to me. My boyfriend has noticed that SEW’s audience tends to skew younger perhaps, but in this video, by shifting the perspective to youtubers who deliberately manipulate those feelings in Young Children for profit, it really made me understand that age is probably a major factor. Now, I know that there have been countless cases of adult fans getting invasive and obsessive over youtubers, I’m not trying to say that my revelation here is that “I get it - it must be those darn kids doing this!” - just that I’ve never before seen anyone point out how vulnerable and malleable young minds can be with regards to this topic. It’s a shame that that’s the case whether it’s being deliberately discouraged or exploited.

[@glyn833]

I feel like instant communication is at once one if not the greatest achievement of humanity and also at the same time one of the worst.

[@theepicduck6922]

Glad to see some more people are willing to discuss how odd this phenomenon is and can oddly enough creep up almost outta nowhere.

[@moira_meteorite]

very good video good friend leadhead. so glad my very real friend made this

[@hawkrose]

forming actual friendships with internet content creators is so incredibly rare, and, like, I admit that a lot of the people I watch the videos of seem like they'd be cool people to be friends with, but, as someone who now has a friend who has an internet presence and a community, yeah, the ONLY way to have that happen is just, like, talking in servers people like that are in, and you literally will not expect it or see it coming and, if you want to be friends with a specific person, it probably won't happen. I found a cool friend, THEN got somewhat involved in her community and started making more friends who are also cool and have internet presences, but I didn't know anything about any of these people until I was talking in a different artist's discord about random shit, and someone liked talking to me. A big thing to remember on the internet is that no one owes you anything, and everyone on the internet has their own life just as complex as yours. Friendships form naturally over time, not from being a fan of someone.

[@MilesOKetch]

These deserve way more views

[@EnUsUserScreenname]

darn, that last line hit hard.

[@minimusminor]

Great video and articulation on your experience. No notes. Putting Firewatch's music on as backing really elevates the subject matter.

[@theblazingpearl1067]

love the firewatch music and background

[@Phaz0nFckr]

Oh? Are you trans? Thats super cool! I remember finding your channel from your Half-Life video.

[@TheEDBShow]

That jaystation video took a decade off my lifespan

[@laneconstancio7806]

Babe wake up new leadhead

[@saedt]

I love how good your content still is!

[@lashinghydra804]

I just played Firewatch around the time I watched this, and there couldn’t be a good enough game to use for the aesthetics in this video. Other than just being a pretty game, it makes you think about the parasocial relationship you might have formed with Delilah.

[@Bluuzell]

I literally wrote an essay on this recently, also referenced stan and such. This is such a scary topic, and it’s not nearly talked about enough. Thank you so much for this Video Leadhead

[@momenelorbany]

(out of topic) 0:45 i love that at the top right we can see the recommendation desert sands feel warm at night album (named "New World Disciples" in spotify) which is an album I've been totally enamored and mesmerized by since it came out, I hope anyone reading this gives it a listen especially track 4 and support the artist in bandcamp if they can

[@hooman69]

That album truly has slowly become one of desert's most celebrated albums

[@thatyoutubechannel9953]

Bigbrain stalker: "Stop paying attention and they'll be into me, got it"

[@Solhurst]

I took a break from leadhead and I came back to find out leadhead is hot

[@bubblegum8467]

Same lmao, great change though

[@eltiolavara9]

yeah

[@llenastro5986]

i'm busy programming something rn and want to wait until i can give my full attention to the video so i'll probably come back to it tonight, but super excited to see you covering this topic

[@Taylor-xq9tr]

the irony of getting an ad for a tv show that sets people up on dates with celebrities whilst watching this

[@drearyplane8259]

Wow this Leadhead lady is really smart i wish she was my friend

[@creepersonryestudios]

@@trollgaming_official No she isn't. Shut up.

[@retkimuna]

@@trollgaming_official a white wall gets painted yellow. would you still call that wall "technically white"?

[@Strangeisntit_real]

y’all are giving in too much for someone literally called “troll gaming”

[@steve7745]

Ok, ik the topic makes this kind of ironic, but you look really good! Good to see you more comfortable on camera, love your work!!

[@mossystone584]

I feel like ahat helped me build a healthy boundary between myself and youtubers was being into a lot of skit comedy,so my young self had a sense that people om youtube are actors like on TV, as well as educational content beung bery clinical in tone

[@vonbaphomet]

she's dripped the hell out ong

[@mamertens99]

One part of this is that parents/guardians are not supervise correctly. They should detect these things, but often they just let them watch without knowing what they watch. Yes we need to point fingers at these *** who exploit these children, but guardians have a big responsibility. And yes I know that not every family has the capability, even probably most families, because they are working long hours and have no energy to supervise, so maybe this should be talked about in school? It's difficult for me to see a real solution that fits all. Or multiple solutions. But the least guardians can do is watch some things with their children.

[@t00nz]

The outfit in this video is SO COOL. ❤

[@chefbigdawg4349]

Great video. Very philosophytube-esque with the ol’ leadhead spin. Thank you for making it

[@cardonull1465]

Oh hell yeah my favorite topic

[@strawberrymedic8165]

Yessss new lead head

[@aleacuna2794]

i think, even as a kid, that i've always had a crazy good balance in regards to parasocial relationships, in part because of my autism (and the way it makes me understand relationships in general) and (sadly) being abused. i naturally categorize youtubers and internet personalities similarly to how i categorize coworkers or colleagues. my coworkers are not my friends, even if we're friendly with one another, and we can get on great while we're on the clock. i can text them on their birthday and catch up a little every couple of months. i don't follow them in social media because i'm already seen them as much as i'd prefer in the specific place our relationship is confided to. i get uncomfortable when they start to get too intimate, because they don't really know me, and i don't really know them or want to. even then, i can easily spot when that's starting to happen, and i follow my gut so i usually end up moving up or avoiding them as much as i can. idk if this will help anyone, and i'm really sad specially when i see kids and teenagers fall into these toxic parasocial relationships with internet personalities, and it's worrying how many of them are content to abuse and exploit the children they can manipulate in this way.

[@thestargazer679]

GIRL YOU'RE SO PRETTY

[@roacher2148]

Love the firewatch OST!!!!!

[@tirexius]

Didn't watch any video of yours in a long time, but I fell like I should stay this time

[@AshT8524]

This is a Great video. I bet it'll have a lot of shares. I actually never thought how this might be affecting kids, I usually see adults being creepy and stalking people, I didn't think how that habit starts in the first place. Interesting but sad

[@constantcobra]

why is the tv talking to me while i eat

[@datguyuno98]

Haven't watched the video yet but I'm certain it's a damn good one as always, I just gotta real quick say damn you and thank you for again using my emotional trigger by putting a frame from The Wall in the thumbnail and I swear if you don't talk about that movie at some point imma be real sad

[@robertanna2693]

>Ross's Game Dungeon: The Cave World Sage >JayStation >During Leadhead It's so painful to hear JayStation despite the context of a good and well made video while being reminded of another good video at the same time.

[@sneedmando186]

The internet is real, it’s literally the zeitgeist of our knowledge and communication abilities. Don’t believe the old “it’s not real, it’s online” we see things like a tweet change the whole world. The internet is an extension to our social abilities. It’s important to keep the scope of possibilities and problems in mind though, because this is a magnification of natural abilities

[@captain_cheezus5186]

Super Eyepatch Wolf’s video called “What is Nathan Fielder” is a really interesting essay on the image you project as a figure on the internet.

[@laneconstancio7806]

Excellent and sad video. You also have to wonder how many of these creators don’t just market towards kids for the money…

[@aloeburned]

channel has improved tenfold, same types of videos but now pretty woman on screen 👍

[@plootyluvsturtle9843]

i feel like this could almost serve as a psa people should see before going on the internet. this is a really important topic

[@Shimamon27]

This phenomena is old... Except that it turned easier with just how interactive it is today. Preformers are always a target for the fantasies of their fans, and on the flip side, preformers can easily exploit their fans.

[@Lumberjack_king]

Yeah if I ever have kids I'm keeping them away from youtube and social media

[@joao1812ful]

can "a fan of LeadHead" be called a LeadHeadHead please

[@DrHotelMario]

The virgin exploitative KZbinr: *"Hey guys"* The Chad Warden: *"Sup bitches"*

[@tbk34ch]

I didn't need anything more than the Korone clip 5 seconds in to make me like the vid TBH

[@973terminator]

hey guys welcome back again to another video and today

[@lambsauce5312]

JEREMY ELBERTSON

[@metalslug3fan]

"I'm killing you! Not like a random guy, but specifically you!"

[@h4724-q6j]

I haven't seen a video from you in a few months and wow, your voice sounds great now.

[@samuelolivier3792]

I have nothing to add to the discussion except for firewatch is based and was under appreciated in its time. But yeah, nice video.

[@koopdawhoop.]

8:28 why tf my like button started glowing when he said that shi

[@FlynLatif]

This video is ahead of it's time. People will realize this is a problem in about another decade. I'm a 29 year old who knows better and even I indulge in the parasocial relationships more than I know I should. Despite most of my favorite KZbinrs making a point about telling their fans not to get attached to them personally (like Richard Grannon who says it almost every video). For kids who have grown up with online relationships since day 1. This will be a giant issue that will need societal and parental pushback. At the same time, it is clearly a coping mechanism which serves a purpose for those indulging. So the root cause is deeper. I think that because we are spoilt for choice with personalities to become fans of - it leads to implausibly high standards for real interpersonal relationships. The issue isn't that it's hard to find friends, the issue is people have way too high expectations of what friendship needs to be.

[@neko.nebitan]

My friend who is 15 fell for this somehow and changed so mutch im not friends with him anymore

[@Btomaek]

a lot of the times people forget their favourite creator is still human I feel those people might need actual help understanding Parasocial Relationships

[@zewps9502]

2nd video I've seen of yours, pretty cool 👍

[@CYXNIGHT]

I like the setup!

[@soccerandtrack10]

"Maybe it wasnt you that said it... You that did it... Maybe it was their thoughts and experences bleeding through into your own mind..." "What the fuck?..." This part is a inception thing of you staring at a screen,but the screen looking back at you/through your eyes too. I saw a advertisment of a perspectictive of a old person watching some1 like a doctor on a tablit(but in dead space 3rd person.)

[@britneyhochman5204]

1:52-2:09 that is literally the cutest thing ever

[@veronicatorres87376]

O shit new video on parasocial relations now were talking

[@Tourettes-syndrome-gaming]

Ah no worries I consider you a cool gamer not a friend but a cool gamer who gets it you know IT things in general you’re not a friend sure but your vids cheer me up and shit so I watch cuz you are a cool gamer

[@какегоэтот]

hello leadhead. Just wanted to wish ya good day

[@markstanton63]

What an interesting video .... I guess it was a YT-Creator's version of breaking the 4th wall .... Well done though, you made some very insightful points.

[@Jaxdaily1]

I think y’all are overthinking this all a bit just be kind to others and treat the world how you want to treated

[@ender691]

13:27 it's only been a month since the last video???