Spiritfarer and How Death Affects Us

[@galobraun7358]

the phrase "just a youtuber you watch sometimes" hit me hard, i actually feel close to the way of thinking and analysing stuff, and this channel has been what helped me in my hard moments, and the thought of it dissapearing is really hard to accept

[@blarg2429]

@@scratchsoft2347 Leadhead uses she/her pronouns, just so you know.

[@blarg2429]

@@scratchsoft2347 It happens.

[@peteschneider2538]

hey, those really are some beautiful thoughts about life

[@lemonplayz4032]

heheh Don’t you mean about death? 😂 Sorry

[@dystopianchell]

One of the many things that makes Leadhead stand out from other video game essayists is how she can relate what message a game has to her own experience in meaningful ways. This self-reflection is clearly a powerful one that can make even the people watching reflect on their own experiences and lives from what I've seen in the community and from what I've felt myself watching your videos. I don't know if you realize how impactful you and your videos are but I hope you do.

[@erik-sr9bj]

‘she’?

[@dystopianchell]

@@erik-sr9bj Leadhead came out as a transwoman

[@erik-sr9bj]

@@dystopianchell bruh

[@erik-sr9bj]

@@dystopianchell when was that? So does transwoman mean: man->woman or woman->man?

[@Miki-jn4vr]

@@erik-sr9bj transwoman means man -> woman ^^. So they're a woman :)

[@VamshiOhgs]

I was so latched onto the idea of leaving a legacy that I thought of ending my life if wasn't successful by the age of 18, I am 20 yrs old now and the span of 2 years I have understood that if my level of success isn't on par with people same age mine doesn't mean that my efforts were useless Whenever I felt about ending my life I would listen to "Leave out all the rest" by Linkin park, that song just gives me peace and helps me realise that even if I don't make it big atleast I would live on in the mind of people who I have effected in some way

[@jesusisunstoppable4438]

Quote - " if I don't make it big atleast I would live on in the mind of people who I have effected " -- LoL You'll be a past memory that Maybe someone might remember once every few years.

[@allutouch8082]

And chester 😭

[@erik-sr9bj]

@@jesusisunstoppable4438 bruh

[@lemonplayz4032]

@@jesusisunstoppable4438 You’ll be a memory of a jerk who instead of spreading goodness in the world, chooses to spend their limited time attacking others aspirations and dreams.

[@jesusisunstoppable4438]

@@lemonplayz4032 Quote - " You’ll be a memory of a jerk who instead of spreading goodness in the world " -- Go back to your Pity Party with your Atheist friends.

[@grimloncz3853]

Leadhead: *makes an honest video about their emotions, worries and hopes* Me: "Did that squirell-pet-thing die with the character, pharaon style?"

[@tobioc8148]

Daffodil does go through the everdoor with Stella, yes

[@asmodeus304]

shes just a very fluffy cat

[@tobioc8148]

@@asmodeus304 It's not stated in the game, but daffodil is actually a male cat!

[@redpepper876]

@@tobioc8148 who cares

[@vodago]

@@redpepper876 not you, then, but probably some of the fanbase

[@DaInternetBear]

This game really helped me through my grandma’s passing, its just a simple but beautiful game. A friend recommended it to me, and the thing that caught me was the beauty and the sounds of the world, and the characters were nice to engage with. A snapshot of letting go

[@CrazyHorse151]

SPOILER Note: The spiritfarer from the greek mythology carries the souls of newly deceased over the river the bridges the gap between the realm of the living and the realm of the dead. (Wiki) So from that mythology, everyone you encounter is already dead but their souls have yet to come to grips with that. This includes Stella

[@cheezkid2689]

People don't die when their heart stops. They die when they're forgotten. Always remember, as long as this channel is here, you won't be truly dead.

[@jesusisunstoppable4438]

BS - when your dead - Your dead.

[@cheezkid2689]

@@jesusisunstoppable4438 listen, man, I'm just trying to be nice.

[@theguy7764]

@@jesusisunstoppable4438 who are we to say what death is

[@jesusisunstoppable4438]

@@theguy7764 Quote - " who are we to say what death is " -- I Am A Christian -- And by everyone's comments I can see that you people are not. So as to the "We" in your comment -- You people have nothing to say. As for Me, I have everything to say. You don't like it ? contact Me on Discord.

[@theguy7764]

As an atheist I believe death can't be understood until I've experienced it and I doubt any of us have died yet

[@major_havok7854]

As someone who's never cared much about death, even when it's those close to me being the ones who died, I can say that this video touched me in ways not much else does, mostly because I finally found someone who thinks in a similar way to me, at least when it comes to your own death. This video was touching, and you did a real good job with it, so good job.

[@habie147]

From one piggu to another, quality content

[@ibrahimiqra8549]

wasn't expecting you here... 😅 love your videos man!! It was awesome to see your channel grow. ❤️

[@JacF6734]

I feel like Leadhead is way more personal than any of the video essay channels I've seen, and I like it. Keep doing what you do, woman.

[@rogi3376]

Woman*

[@JacF6734]

@@rogi3376 Oh, is she trans? Forgive me, I had no idea.

[@skrrtskrrt2410]

You do know there are certain circumstances where you can use the word "man" that doesn't pertain to it's gender counterpart.

[@deaglan6641]

My father knew about a lady who temporarily died. She had a heart attack and was brought back to life shortly after a priest had helped her. When she came back she starting throwing punches at him because after she died she had a vision of sailing on beautiful golden ship. She was sailing toward a bridge with hundreds of people on it. Waving was her family. Then the vision ended and she came back

[@Badguy292]

It's kind of heart warming to know that there is a life after death then, if what you say is true.

[@Badguy292]

@ExDeeXD Music Mhmm, it is entirely possible, but we can't know for certain.

[@Badguy292]

@ExDeeXD Music Old Mesopotamian mythology. We'll be transported to a realm similar to our own, but in a different location. Neither Heaven or Hell, but an in-between. Not sure about the details though, but I like surprises~

[@deaglan6641]

I hope one day I can put pen to paper to write all of the thoughts I’m having. My memory is bad and I can’t talk well, but there are things I need to say to help people. Right now I wish you best of luck in improving yourselves and others.

[@mintysand7312]

I've been dealing with the death of my two cats for a long while now; we had to put down the first one due to lung cysts a few years back, and the second one I actually had to put down near the beginning of the month due to liver failure. They both lived very long lives and I know nothing lasts forever, but I still wish they never had to leave. This just got the waterworks up all over again.

[@funkuro]

Animal deaths are still extremely sad. I wish you all the best.

[@ThePotatoChronicler]

Bro I can't watch this I'm 2 minutes in and I'm already crying

[@ntfshard]

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die." (Blade Runner)

[@johnnybensonitis7853]

It's crazy how we can sometimes get comfortable in our routines and all the sudden a thing can happen that throws everything into chaos. The mind can really cut loose in times like that.

[@combatwombat2134]

There's a line you said at the start regarding going through your boat, and it was the first time it was empty. It reminds me of quite a poignant line regarding a man who knew his death day was coming. Suicide was the only path he saw and he left notes regarding his last days. "For the first time, I was doing it for the last time." He said this about a bunch of stuff he was doing. Eating his last meal, lying in bed, watching a show, writing on paper - Things you never think about with any depth until they are the last time you do them, the last things you do. "For the first time, it was the last time" - I think about that a lot.

[@vargasmartin7143]

6:23 When you said "This video will be the end of this..." my heart dropped, as i thought you were goin to say "This video will be the end of this channel". Thank god i was incorrect

[@charliechips257]

Same :/

[@virtuallyreal6116]

Small impact? Your videos have had a huge impact about how i think About everything in my life!

[@ultimatedallairius]

I love those philosophical videos. There aren't many KZbinrs willing to get this personnal with their audience and it's something I really respect and appreciate, props to you

[@matthewford6715]

I have been struggling through quarantine a fair bit. No ones died but there’s been some shit my families been through. You’ve helped a fair bit with taking my mind off of things and helping me to understand the media I enjoy a bit more.

[@itme5978]

This video got me into spiritfarer, I saw it, thought this was a game worth experiencing without spoilers [no matter how minor] and closed the video back up, I hauled ass to buy the game during the discount sale I finished it twenty or so minutes ago and goddamn. The feelings this game can bring out of you Spiritfarer is beautiful, in its artstyle and in its message

[@Johnlafreitas]

Love when you get philosophical 🙏🏼🙏🏼 This one reminds me of a vudeo I watched on the Channel The Meaning of NERD about Death Note or sth like that

[@carterlove7293]

I only just bought this game and have already been brought to tears. I had the unfortunate luck that Alice and Summer were ready for the Everdoor back to back. And the morning after they were both gone, I went around doing all my errands like normal, until I realized I had two fewer passengers to feed and had been searching for both of them for a good minute, without even thinking. I had been upset when Gwen passed, because I was quickly attached to her. But losing two passengers I had become accustomed to caring for all at once almost broke me at five in the morning. No game has ever made me cry like this.

[@ritethumstik]

I want you to know that you've made a big impact on me. I was in a major writing block when I discovered your channel. I binged a ton of videos one day, and started writing again. You've helped me continue to discover who I am and what i believe. I will never forget that ❤️

[@alexanderscalzi9361]

I love you and your channel, i was with you when you were releasing your thoughts and i was happy you got your channel back. When you came out i had no issues with who you are versus who i came to know. You fill a valuable role here, please don’t forget it

[@Yuti640]

I believe you've managed to create something incredible here, this channel's topics really helps me think about life as a while and even how my life is going It really opens my eyes to the topics that i would never usually think about myself and helps me gain a new perspective on things thanks to the way you're able to help me see things in life So.... thank you for this, i'm glad this channel means a lot to you and i hope you'll be able to continue to make the great content you have been making

[@aiyokai7332]

This is gonna be a weird rant but... One of the things I absolutely adored about this game's narrative wasn't just the discussion of death, but the complexities of it. I grew up with almost every adult figure of my life dying to some kind of disease either out of the blue or after years of battle before I turned 16. And I thought, when I picked up this game, that I was well versed in grief. But it sincerely taught me of other types of grief I hadn't thought of before, and let me experience them in an unexpective yet positive way. Almost every soul aquired on the boat made me remember or realize a new aspect of my relatively brief but immense experience with death, and... just the way it was handled, both just through the story, but gameplay as well, is brilliant.

[@vafflin851]

well in any case... this is some channel I rather enjoy watching sometimes

[@Cloudsurfer69]

Hey, can I just say, this is why I fucking love this channel.

[@NoSugarAllowed]

I know this is a bit of an older video, but I just finished watching it and wanted to say how much I love these videos of yours. They really mean something to me and each new video I watch is always a treat. I love seeing how other people think and go about their lives, and these videos that you make are amazing for that. You've actually inspired me to start making some videos of my own, I'm not posting them or anything, as of now they are pretty much just for me, but its a step forward in expressing myself, in putting my own thoughts and opinions out there. I still am far from ever doing something like posting them, but honestly, if it weren't for your videos giving me some confidence in things like this, I'd never even record anything. Thank you for being you, and I always look forward to the next video

[@lucaherman6227]

I’m not used to being left feeling this emotionally vulnerable by a video. I wish I knew how to relate to those around me in such an eloquent and effective way. I think it might make me feel less alone

[@samuelnoll3543]

I've been literally waiting for you make a video on this game because I absolutely love this game. Definitely my favorite game from 2020.

[@HighPriestessofPie]

I'm a regular veiwer. I watched your Celeste video right before this, and you seem so much like me. I'm also in the phase of having learned lessons I'm still trying to internalize and practice. Hearing about your struggles with many of the same things I do, and how you have pushed on regardless is beyond inspiring for me. I aspire to be the kind of person who could say what a younger me needed to hear, and you are that person. I hope this helps you to understand a fraction of the impact you have on the lives of others, and not in the logical way it's easy to understand you affect others, but in the way you can feel, and internalize as the truth. The work you do on this earth is significant and important, even to people you do not know. Thank you for making videos :)

[@mattsmokes2505]

My grandfather was a first generation American. He was a proud conservative man who loved his family more than anything. He did everything for me. He was the father I never had but he was also so much more than that. I took care of him the last three years of his life during that time I was dealing with a really serious opiate and benzodiazepine addiction. It took over my life. I went to work taking care of him so fucked up every day and he never judged me he never treated me different he just loved spending time with me he was just worried about me. He paid for my rehab over and over again. I finally got my shit together the last 11 months of his life and I’m so grateful for that 11 months. But I also feel so guilty for all the helI put him through. He paid for the condo I’m living in now, the car I’m driving he’s done everything for me and in return I get addicted to heroin. I’ve had a hard life it wasn’t just for fun I just I don’t even know why am writing this. I just miss him so much.

[@antoniomd3812]

I reached 2:00 and decided I'll be back in a year or 2 after I've played this. Thanks for the content. I hope you are keeping well

[@stephanieholland7137]

I can’t let this video go iv like watched it 3 times noe

[@ExpiredPancreas]

Today has been an anxious day for me. Thanks for your words and for being who you are

[@masqueradian2028]

You have already made an impact on me. Made me view things in a way I would never of thought to. Even after death, you would have already made a good enough impact on me and many others.

[@forehandmei3857]

This video got to me quickly. I played this game and cried quite a lot at it. Good job as usual gal. The ending of this video stuck out to me. I just hope to help as many people as I can, and the vertices imagery was really apt.

[@bloodxking]

Been where you were at and quite close twice before, not lately thankfully. Loss is part of the cycle my man, keep up the great work :)

[@apostoldimov9856]

I Love You LeadHead. I Am Grateful That Your Baby Survived! I Am Proud With Your Resolve. Be Healthy, Stay Safe & Keep Smiling!

[@williamchamberlain2263]

5:30 always keep backups 6:36 - good man!

[@Cobblestone8_alt_account]

This video made me think . Though young I've been through stuff having been diagnosed by an official doctor at the age of 12 to have depression and at the age of 6 to have anxiety . Many things I've done and seen for a fragile mind . It messed me up . I've been just floating through life the past 3 years . Promiseing that I'd lose weight or do something grand . I've had to accept what happened to me in my past . I've become moore happy and haven't thought of suicide to myself In the past year . I'm glad to see many people rise past those thoughts . Thank you for making content I've enjoyed to watch and will continue to watch .

[@tristananleu4677]

Beautiful man, absolutely beautiful. You've made me think deeply about alot lately. Keep on.

[@action-figure-academy]

I love your content in general and I am always waiting on what you post next but this one really hitted close to home.

[@viniciusdomenighi6439]

To realize that we are dead, we must be alive. Only in life do we have the feeling of the passage of time, because you need to be alive to perceive things. Then, when we die, trillions of years will pass instantly for us. Until somehow someone or something awakens us from this dreamless sleep again. Have faith. Time is infinite and the universe is giant. You either wake up instantly after death, or never, in sextillion years for the entire eternity of the existential plane. And that I find highly unlikely.

[@krisherbst6162]

It should be “How Death Affects Us” Because it’s used as a verb

[@non1263]

The Holy Grammar Order would like to thank you for spreading knowledge and enlightenment.

[@fisherman3178]

@Kris Herbst I'm using Nasa's supercomputers and satellites to find the fuck asked. No luck yet. Maybe you could help me.

[@EZOnTheEyes]

I guess she took your advice because it's fixed now

[@prod_paragon]

what was it originally?

[@benedictdwyer2608]

@@fisherman3178 shut up

[@wizrat117]

Hey lead thanks for existing and thanks for sharing your thoughts with us I appreciate it

[@cyannnnnnnnn]

You've left a positive mark on my life, even if it's just as a youtuber I like to watch. Doesn't need to be big impact things to make this world a better place when you leave it than when you arrived.

[@ethanshapland7442]

Lead, idk how much you care about a single teen's opinion means to you, but I love you're videos. I don't get to play a lot of video games myself, and as nice as let's plays are, sometimes it's nice to get to listen to someone talk about a game.

[@dotisopod]

thank you for the video. things like this been on my mind for while.

[@cezzpiotrowski1065]

:,) feels good. You thought me a lot about myself in a weird way, so thanks. For the lot

[@MechanicWolf85]

Spiritfarer reminds me of this really rare unic story of a guy ho meets the grim reaper and the grim reaper is less of this horrifying skeleton figure and more of this old man ho is tired of his work and the never ending death and regret that comes of it

[@johnperdue5125]

Gotta be one of my favorite KZbinrs, keep your chin up

[@skeptical_thinkers]

Hey man, really beautiful work. I started following your channel after your amazing Disco Elysium analysis and I was really impressed. All your videos showcase your passion for games as artwork and trying to relate their lessons to everyday life. Great stuff man. Mad respect.

[@MeatMonger_]

For whatever it's worth your channel has become my favorite channel. I've been in similar situations with depression and gender identity and your videos help me realize that I can still do incredible things the same way you do.

[@jonu6182]

you’ve made a massive impact on my view on life and art

[@Yesnomu]

Beautiful video, and I like the message, how Spiritfarer is about what people leave behind. I'm really glad you got your channel back!

[@I_V_X]

Your content is like when it's 3am and you're smoking a cigar with your buddy, helped massively through lockdown!

[@loungegod]

I think I've finally hit that rough patch in the teenage years everyone always talks about, this year has been pretty shit. But your videos have been pretty good and have been something I can lean on and relate to when I feel down. What you talked about in this video, all the expressing yourself stuff, really hit me hard because I really want to express my thoughts and emotions in any way especially in video form but I can never form the words or sometimes find the motivation to do it. I know you're probably not gonna read this comment but I do want to thank you, because of this video I think I'm going to try and make my first serious video to try and express myself.

[@shallot4991]

There are people out there who are willing to kill themselves slowly just to live a little longer. It’s gotta be a sad death for them to be honest. To say you don’t fear death isn’t possible either. To fear pain is one thing, but to fear death is something everyone needs to come to terms with in my opinion

[@average_trans_furry]

So, I started watching this back when the video came out but I decided to play the game first. I've just finished the game after playing on and off for the past 2 months or so. I truly enjoyed the game and the thoughts you talk about in the video. Thank you for showing me this game

[@Cwinski12]

Thank you for reminding me of the beauty of art. And thank you for sharing your ideas and creating all your content.

[@nickd4217]

I just wanted to say that Leadhead is my favourite youtuber, his videos are interesting and enticing. And they bring a whole new context to the video games ive played. Thank you for making videos.

[@CmdrShepardsPie]

This got on the list as one of Giant Bomb’s game of the year and it peaked my interest a little bit, but after only a couple of minutes of your video I’ve decided to pause the video and go play it. I’ll be back

[@honeymon131415]

Yeah I wasn't expecting to cry over this today. I played and finished Spiritfarer when it first came out. At the time, my grandma had passed on several years ago, but as I took Alice to the everdoor, I was crying so hard that I had to put the game down and start again the next day. She was too much like my grandma and it hurt in ways I didn't expect after so long. We had know for years that she wasn't going to get better. Then a month ago, on his 89th birthday, my grandpa suddenly passed. One day he was just a phone call away, and the next he was being taken to the hospital. Even with covid my mom got on a plane down tp be with him. And in the next few days, he was gone. This video brought out the memories I had playing the game, and of him. I'm going to try to play this game again and see where it takes me. Maybe I'll get my mom to play too. Thank you for this video, it helped in ways I didn't know I needed.

[@honeymon131415]

Sorry for the typos I was crying as I typed this out.

[@QuintonMurdock]

Death I have a weird relationship with. The closest deaths I could say I have experienced was the grandmother of my stepmother (whom I have a rough “relationship” with) when I was very young, the death of my Bearded dragon to cancer and my iguanas to parasites and my tiger salamander to....idk, the loss of my grandmothers house to unpaid bills and Rick May. They all hurt but in their own way that doesn’t feel too closely related to the grief of more major losses that others have felt which I feel like many other things in my life alienates me from people. Making me feel more like I can’t say anything. Like my shit ain’t so grand. I guess two things can be sad to quote some certain new Yorkers

[@ramenraptor]

I haven’t got time to watch this yet but I’m so excited for this ! One of my favorite game essayists on one of my favorite, criminally underdiscussed games ? What an amazing gift !

[@soulcakeplatypus6522]

"A man is not dead while his name is still spoken." - 'Going Postal', Terry Pratchett

[@funkystudent8577]

This video, this fucking video. What an absolute masterpiece of the human language

[@heartycoffee4754]

Man your videos always connect so deep with me

[@ryanwong8005]

This is beautiful and made me think about my regrets and what I can do to possibly fix them

[@BobBuilder-to8cy]

If it helps at all, I feel you and your videos have made a considerable positive impact on my mental health.

[@CN3891]

You make great content, including this, and I'd miss you.

[@CamPopplestone]

I played this game out of randomness in game pass last year, and it left such a huge emotional impact on me.

[@-elliott-averagedragonenjo1812]

I just wanted to say I love this channel and you should be proud that this is your legacy, I will remember you

[@Lumberjack_king]

No one gets to choose how it happens and no one is ever ready

[@wanderingspaceman16]

Everyone has his/her own form of succes, and everyone has his or her own path to their destiny

[@caussthefish4452]

You are an incredible youtuber, the best I’ve found in years.

[@esteban5628]

Always nice to see you posted

[@madsiversholt2289]

This video made me cry great job

[@otto8127]

I'm glad i get to be around at the same time as you, man

[@MrJiRonz]

Just wound your channel and i like your videos. You seem like a smart guy. You have made an impact. Thanks for doing what you do.

[@arburo]

I remember seeing your video that sparked a lot of discussions. The Beginner's guide video. You've changed a bit. But i still like your ideas and videos you put out. Have fun creating some deepl thoughtout videos

[@UNowen255]

You never fail to make me cry

[@mothballcharles]

buddy, I subscribed to see half-life lore videos and game reviews, not an existential crisis But seriously though, keep up the good work. I love your content

[@ScottTromley]

I’m really glad you’re back.

[@yujin602]

man i love your content, and you

[@flo-4207]

Im subbed to hundrets of channels and yours is the only one i have the bell on.

[@christyme6395]

I know many people will disagree with me but I don't think death is the end. A little over three years ago I was diagnosed with stage three colon cancer. The cancer is currently in remission but while having surgery to remove it mistakes were made. Two weeks later I collapsed from a blood clot that likely started in my leg but ended up in my lungs. The paramedics could not get my vital signs they were that weak. I had some "strange" experiences including being in a tunnel and being given a choice to "stay" or "leave." To this day I continue to have "strange" experiences that have caused me to believe very strongly that there is more to this universe than what we can measure physically. We are loved, we ARE love.

[@willhart2188]

Have you played "To the Moon"? I think it is the best game I've played about Death.

[@icepl831]

all this talk about dying and remembering. sure its good to think about that sometimes but its still best to remember that youre alive, and that fact makes people happy. should keep you somewhat happy. death comes when it comes but untill than lets be happy with what we have, and hope it wont go away soon. lets try to keep it for as long as we can

[@0utOfSkill]

Ay, I care about you and I'll remember this channel for the rest of my life. Keep doing such great work :)

[@kayagorzan]

This video is touching... it’s beautiful yet sad... a true meaning of life I suppose

[@ProSandlin]

It’s too pretty outside to watch a video with this title but I’ll circle back to it when I’m read for some Lead-fueled feels.

[@Deadforge]

What a fantastic video and it really makes me wanna play this game and sub to see morein the future. Your Celeste video is next for me.

[@phineas7423]

When you put a part of yourself into a piece of artthat will be destroyed long after you, in a way live just as long as that work of art. Im not explaining this nearly as well as Hbomb did in his video on pathologic, but I think I get the point across, and this theory makes me feel strange, and this video makes me think of this theory.

[@Thoumil_Cooks]

Man you don't have to make me cry like that

[@bluesillybeard]

"just some random youtube channel you watch sometimes" dude, i've subscribed to about 250 KZbin channels. This is one of very few that stand out - there are only about 10 or so channels that I will watch regularly, and this is one of them. You are 1 in 25, (4% chance, mathematically speaking), and that's quite impressive by my standards.