Learn IFS, The Others Within Us, Porosity of Mind

Trigger Warnings: Talk of sexual abuse, animal abuse, and suicidality.
Robert Falconer teaching a basic introduction to IFS for the staff at the Pojoaque Pueblo in New Mexico - April 2023. At around 55:00 minutes there is a discussion about the others within us, AKA unattached burdens, spirit possession, and more.
Bob mentions a Brazilian spiritist and author at 1:05:00 Chico Xavier (Francisco de Paula Cândido) with 490 books attributed to him. The book mentioned in that section: Nosso Lar - was also made into a film with the title: Astral City - and is available on KZbin:
- • Video
At 1:08:00, Bob discusses porosity of mind and the citadel theory of mind.
Bob Falconer has been working with, teaching, and consulting on IFS for more than 14 years. He's recently published his latest book: The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spiritual Possession - on unattached burdens and guides. Available on Amazon at: a.co/d/6c0gn2F
Learn more about Bob and his book at robertfalconer.us
In his last book 'Many Minds, One Self', co-authored with Richard Schwartz, Bob researched deeply and documented the links to IFS's paradigm of multiplicity of mind throughout history in many different traditions.
My gratitude to Laura Röel for subtitles, in English and in Spanish.

[@DiuQuy]

Bob, you're truly one of my heroes. The torture and suffering you've had to endure is unfathomable. And yet, I see such an endearing, kind, and beautiful soul shine through. I love your laugh and childlike parts that delight in learning, teaching and healing others. A true inspiration and testimony to how the Self is never tainted by the "evil" in the world.

[@christinethompson6894]

“Dissociation is correlated to intelligence” is a game changer for my parts. Thank you for being 🙏🏽

[@bobfalconer]

Happy to hear it struck a chord

[@cosmicsoul7773]

New Thinking Allowed brought me here. 😊 Everything you described about the inner civil war, getting high & spiritual presence. I can relate. Thank you for sharing ❤

[@CoCo-os2sl]

You have a brave soul. To overcome all the difficulties that are out of imagination and become a loving person who helps many other people, you are amazing!

[@piroska_magika]

You are my new favourite IFS teacher. I wish you were my dad , lol

[@bobfalconer]

Thank you

[@hawkarae]

He can be. Now. A dad for the emerging you...and me and.... 😅 We could do an emerging family Round Robin...get the blood and oxygen moving again. 💃🤸‍♂️❤

[@jethrohetero4990]

When he said “when i got to college I did a bunch of psychedelics……and that really helped” I laughed so hard I wasn’t expecting that. I also did a bunch of psychedelics at that age and I wouldn’t say they harmed me i enjoyed it very much I just didn’t expect to hear him say that😅

[@mariavarelas8041]

DEAR BOB...when spiritualists, whom I watch on-line so convinsingly refer to "everything being inside" after listening to you talk today, I now understand....Thank you for your brilliant light and language and all those cloves of garlic...

[@vcrhodes5819]

We love you Bob for all you’ve done for the world, you are a true gift to humanity.

[@myrootsgraspNewsoil]

Wow! My soul heard him so loud and clear! I Thank you deeply for sharing every word and your incredible experiences. ❤

[@bobfalconer]

You are so welcome

[@thecosmicjeweler]

Bob love your discussion on the mystical aspects of living in the realm. We have been gas lit by science and history that we are alone here. We are living in the earth and surrounded by non physical beings and in constant communication as our bodies our open energy systems.

[@alexrogers8713]

Like Dick Schwartz, you are profoundly inspirational. Using IFS is a revelation

[@Ishana_Intuitive]

Reminds me of Jung`s archetypes. (btw, I saw you on Jeffs Thinking Allowed channel and now looking for other videos of you :) ). I am an alternative practitioner for psychotherapy and medium/healer. I enjoy your videos a lot. Blessings

[@peterhook2258]

This guy is a game changer. To forgive the most horrible evil thing and separate it from their soul...is not oft found. To rehabilitate such a one is to "cast out demons" and the foundations of hell shake. Sure we must have protection from such, however we must acknowledge the origin of the soul at the same time and few there are who can redeem the value of such so that it then works for the good. He has the power to forgive because he was the victim. Many of us would not. Peace. now to bridge the gap...true spirituality is a pure heart. The knowledge we have of actual events and literal happenings is not spirituality nor is the verbiage we use nor the community we keep....at the peak of whatever you believe..is a pure heart. Now that is not to say we must throw all that out as community and experiences have their own merit but the ultimate goal is a pure heart.

[@psyfiles7351]

Wow what an incredible talk thank you so so much I have a much better sense of IFS and your story is profound and inspiring . Thank you!!

[@synphet]

Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth..I love you Bob 🤍😽

[@65sm]

What an amazing find this video was. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Bob, for your openness, your candour and your passion. As a therapist, I integrate IFS with many of my clients too. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a presentation about it quite as powerful before. You have lit a fire of renewal under me to start using it much more (and personally too). I resonated deeply with the spiritual side also and loved your comment about IFS being a “Trojan horse” Thank you for your sharing your light 🙏🏼 ps. You are one of my “if you could choose three people, dead or alive, who would you like to have dinner with” people.

[@bobfalconer]

@65sm So glad to hear that this resonates and that it has 'lit a fire of renewal' under you. Your comment really warms my heart and reminds of why I do this work. I'm honored to be on your 'dinner party' list.

[@ashbrandohd7334]

Same!

[@ashbrandohd7334]

I just have to say how inspiring your story is. The level of deep compassion and empathy you've been able to develop through your traumatic experiences is admirable and brings me hope 😊 this is my first video of yours and I look forward to the rest and also hopefully being able to read your book. Thank you again for being such a special human being and bringing light to those still stuck in darkness. May God Bless you with love and warmth.

[@bobfalconer]

Thank you

[@Ishana_Intuitive]

Yeah, Chico Xavier was a great medium and the movie Astral City is very enlightening.

[@ididbadthings]

The problem I have when hearing something like "a guide or spirit was sent to me" is that it sounds like someone was chosen and the one who didn't survive wasn't chosen. I can understand how this sense of being chosen would bring a great sense of love and connection though.

[@idontknowyetwhoiam]

I dont even think its about people not being able to accept that some cosmic battle is taking place, people can't even accept that just SOMETHING at all is bigger than them. The ecosystem, the planet, the universe. I think if we just start to see ourselves as part of a larger whole that would do more than trying to figure out whether a cosmic battle is taking place. See yourself as part of the ecosystem and you'll be inclined to not pollute.

[@filmpjesgaliano]

Thank you very much.. your story touched me.. I am a counsellor working with IFS and I would love to learn more.

[@bobfalconer]

Glad it was helpful! My website has links to on-demand workshops if you're looking to learn more.

[@kipling1957]

Hi Bob - you have just pulled together multiple threads that’s been mind spaghetti for some time. We have somewhat similar paths, although your childhood was more brutal and perverse than even mine. I somehow made it to a PhD in neuroscience and then a college teacher. To cut to the chase the demons are mostly under control but there are bizarre and unpredictable mood swings. I’m under no illusion- there is still healing to be done, and I thank God daily for my loving and understanding wife. Basically, John Vervaeke, the cognitive neuroscientist whom I’ve followed for some time, and his discussions on IFS, brought me here. Thank you for putting this out. I have some work to do.

[@powerofseven10]

Hi Bob. I’m reading your new book. It’s fantastic !

[@bobfalconer]

So happy to hear that my book is resonating with you. Thank you for letting me know.

[@Mimishummingbird]

Thank you for this talk, new to IFS but this talk was Brilliant & has me extremely curious. Thank you for your story & teaching 🫶🏼

[@bobfalconer]

Glad it was helpful!

[@elenat.2092]

I am so fascinated with your work. I bought the book and for almost 3 months I was scared to open it because I come from Romania and we believe so much in possession, spirits, demons etc . I had pretty bad experiences growing up with stuff like that. But last week I finally started reading the book and I couldn’t put it down. It is that good. Thank you 🙏 Not sure if I have UBs, but it most definitely feels that way sometimes. In fact , I realized how often I say things like “ I feel like I am possessed by this thing and it is destroying me from the inside.” Of course, that could be a very dedicated, yet stubborn protector, I started ifs therapy just recently. Lots to be explored. Thank you so much for your work! ❤

[@bobfalconer]

I'm so glad to hear you found the courage to read the book, and truly hope it's helpful to you.

[@aspetree]

Amazing transformation and knowledge from you! Thank you so much for sharing those deep difficult things.

[@bobfalconer]

Glad it was helpful!

[@davidcote2280]

Bob, take the current book and turn it into a series of graphic novels with illustrators and audio links. Get Crumb and Harvey Peckar type artists. Probably eventually made into a movie.

[@bobfalconer]

I have more books to create, and your idea has sparked some inspiration. Watch this space...

[@ravenbarbour5319]

Wow, I am in Awe of your Spirit, Thank you🙌🏻✨🙌🏻✨

[@bobfalconer]

You are so welcome

[@dai19721]

we are each a bunch of people.

[@IFSwithMaryam]

Thanks alot.❤ lm learning this woderful model. Im from lran

[@bobfalconer]

I'm happy to help with your IFS learning. I'm very glad to hear that it's reaching you in Iran, also. Welcome to the IFS family.

[@Jenny-nz8fb]

Thank you for sharing your story and expertise on IFS. I definitely feel it helps if you make it a daily practice.

[@bobfalconer]

Absolutely!

[@user-jm6ds5dz3t]

Wow you have a lot of books !!

[@maaikekamstra7353]

Hi Bob Thank you so much for your sincere and compassionate presentation of IFS. I had never heard of it. I was looking for information about inner division. Thankfully I found this wonderfull book of you. I could buy it in my country- the Netherlands. In the book Gnosis: Study and Commentaries on the Esoteric Tradition of Eastern Orthodoxy: v.1 Esoteric Cycle by writer Boris Mouravieff, it is described on page 31 that we can have up to 987 sub-personalities. This is described in ancient Gnostic texts. I have been a student of the YungDrung Bön for years (15 years) and they work with soul retrieval there. And in the CHOD meditation you feed your own demons, among other things Your beautiful "BEING" that vibrates in this presentation has touched me deeply. Thank you. Encouraging.

[@philipk917]

Thank you so much for bringing and sharing your experience and knowledge. You are extraordinary and I greatly admire your courage and wisdom. Well Wishes for you and yours and all. ❤🧡❤

[@bobfalconer]

Thank you

[@nicholaspearson4246]

So interesting to see how psychotherapy theory and practice have evolved in recent decades. Both theory and practice have been humanized as the result of extensive experience with psychoactive substances and influence from shamanic healing. The framework of IFS represents both the evolution and the distillation of the realizations of the decades since the 1960's. I spent time with R D Laing in the sixties at Kingsley Hall in London. He was one of the soldiers on the path that has led to IFS.

[@davidt1168]

Moving and wonderfull. Thank you so much.

[@lauren4434]

"it's a delicate ecology in there.... you don't just rush in and rip something out with a backhoe...'

[@trondeirikjohnsen8479]

❤❤❤

[@dianaentrekin3444]

Thank you

[@monabur]

Wow thank you, just amazing. Namaste

[@bobfalconer]

You're so welcome!

[@ginaiosef]

Thank you for all the work you've done so far, for humanity in general. I came across your videos and afterwards your channel through Dick Swhartz's work and IFS in general. I've just watched your great interview with Sara Avant Stover, and every time I hear your personal life experience, I am amazed at least. I am getting closer to 60, I am far from having had those harsh and unbelievable experiences as yours, but I had my part of some, ndes and that anger also ( and I am on the other side of the globe ). I don't know if you ever take questions or read comments, but if I am allowed, could you please tell me if you still feel broken and if this feeling is part of the picture? Anyways, thank you gratefully for your great part in the world! ❤️

[@martialmusic]

Hang in there, Bob!

[@BrendanCWilson]

Hi Bob, thanks for your authenticity and vulnerability. Do you offer private sessions as I have tried to subscribe but the page is not working on your website?

[@bobfalconer]

Best to go to my website and contact me with a private message through there. robertfalconer.us

[@martianmatters]

All is very impresive, just abouth 1st terapy I would trust work. Great person, great talk! And an interesting idea at the end 1:23:30 about Trojan horse

[@bobfalconer]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@blam_]

Hi Bob, do you have any tips on finding a good IFS therapist who may work with UBs? I’m finding that IFS level doesn’t necessarily correlate with Self-energy

[@bobfalconer]

I'm trying to put together a list of people who've studied with me...

[@holistictraveller4217]

Sir can we practice self administer IFS therapy at home without a therapist..Are there any books,recourses you would like to suggest, kindly advise.

[@bobfalconer]

I have many meditations on KZbin that will help you with this work.

[@marieloparco8376]

I love those meditations. They are so helpful and take me quickly to deep places. Thank you!

[@marieloparco8376]

Your work resonates within me very deeply.Want to thank you for the healing work you do. I relate to so much of your story and have been trying for years to heal intense childhood trauma through many types of therapy (primal therapy, expressive arts, cognitive therapy, Jungian therapy, 12 step programs, and more). Most recently I have read and done some basic DYI IFS therapy to help address the wreckage created by firefighters. I am retired (71 years) and no longer have the resources to hire a therapist to process this largely dissociated stuff. Can you recommend a particular book I could use to systemmatically journal my way to unburdening exiles and create deeper relationships with my parts? Or is there a way to find new or therapist in training who might want someone to practice on? : ) Thank you. Also, thanks for the meditations you offer. They are very helpful. ❤

[@bobfalconer]

I've heard there are online IFS practice groups, working in a peer-to-peer model rather than therapists, but I can't recommend a particular one, as I haven't been a part of one. I believe they are available through Facebook.

[@amandabartell1502]

Hi, if possible please could you say a trigger warning about what that man did to the animals and a timestamp so people could skip past it. I wish l could have done as the rest was helpful. That's really disturbed me and l would rather not have heard it, it wasn't necessary for me to have that mental image. Maybe because lm autistic or just found it really awful. 😢

[@bobfalconer]

Thank you for that suggestion, and I'm sorry to hear it so affected you. I've added animal abuse the list of trigger warnings in the description.

[@Itslewieo]

Can the UBs be ridden of for good? I have one that's very stubborn and has been the source of the majority of my problems in life

[@bobfalconer]

Usually it's possible to get rid of them, but occasionally they do come back.

[@jgrossi3549]

Hello! In another interview, you mentioned someone who developed a concept called 'The Citadel Theory of the Mind.' What is the name of that theorist?

[@bobfalconer]

Tanya Luhrmann - Anthropologist at Stanford University.